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MisterJose Archive

View 58 posts and 2,011 comments by MisterJose on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
134

CMVMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 12:02 PM
115

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 06:06 PM
88

CMVMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 08:14 AM
66

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 03:32 AM
61

CMVMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/19 06:21 AM
43

AdviceMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/18 03:18 AM
41

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/22 06:45 PM
38

Question For WomenMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 02:24 PM
37

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/20 05:52 AM
27

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/18 03:27 PM
27

MisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/19 03:13 AM
23

DebateMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/19 10:24 AM
20

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/19 04:51 AM
19

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/21 07:55 PM
18

Question For WomenMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 05:06 AM
18

MisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/19 06:22 PM
17

MisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/18 06:37 PM
17

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 09:23 AM
14

CMVMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/18 04:19 PM
13

Question For WomenMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 12:29 AM
13

Question For WomenMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/20 02:34 AM
12

MisterJose/r/MensRights09/08/16 04:14 PM
12

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/18 08:36 AM
12

MisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/19 04:57 AM
10

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/18 08:41 PM
9

MisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/19 02:06 AM
9

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/19 02:22 AM
9

Question for BluePillMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 07:24 PM
9

Question For WomenMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 02:18 AM
7

Question for BluePillMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/17 05:20 PM
7

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/21 05:43 PM
6

MisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 08:39 AM
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DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/17 06:39 PM
5

MisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/19 11:51 PM
4

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/18 03:09 PM
4

Question For MenMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/20 02:23 PM
4

Question For WomenMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/19 06:33 PM
4

DebateMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 06:50 AM
3

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/19 06:42 PM
3

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/18 02:39 PM
3

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/20 02:28 AM
1

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/18 11:48 PM
1

Question For WomenMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 06:22 PM
1

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/20 03:22 AM
1

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/21 08:03 AM
1

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/20 06:48 PM
1

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 03:50 PM
1

MisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/18 04:36 PM
1

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 05:05 PM
1

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/18 04:25 AM
1

MisterJose/r/seduction02/09/19 03:01 AM
1

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/20 05:27 PM
1

CMVMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 04:04 PM
1

Question for allMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/21 04:15 AM
0

DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/17 04:04 AM
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MisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/20 08:46 PM
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DiscussionMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/19 12:52 PM
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Question For WomenMisterJose/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/19 03:24 AM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 2,011 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
–

When I was younger it might have been Phil Anselmo of Pantera, which probably wasn't the best.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/23 08:40 PM
–

Actually, it's not entirely about the orgasm I find. I've left events totally satisfied without cumming. For those still lacking, and who feel frustrated and like they have no path, I think there should be a better understanding in place with regard to what you're going through. Like I said, we tend to see it as a character flaw, and I don't think that's right at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 01:15 PM
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Well I think the point goes even harder then: Are we accusing all the adult men who are more compelled to frequent the business pedos?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/23 05:25 AM
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I was just getting takeout from a local dessert place that's been there for years. The owner, a middle aged dude, never fails surround himself with basically the prettiest girls who apply for the job. You see the photos on the wall, year after year, of this dude and a dozen cute young women working on their summer break. Having talked to several, some are/were in college, and some are still in high school. You couldn't tell which is which just by sight, and all of them are conventionally attract…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/23 03:08 AM
1

Well this is the problem with all these kinds of motivational slogans, and to understand that it doesn't work universally is to understand why sometime people hesitate and deliberate: Because the thing they're thinking of doing might turn out to be a bad idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 02:25 PM
1

"Just do it " is probably the best motivational slogan ever. 9 out of 10 school shooters agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 02:13 PM
2

There are certainly men who have grown angry and bitter, I just think the mistake is to label them a pejorative and assume it's because they are deficient. There's an idea that women have an instinct to separate 'good men' from 'bad men' very strictly, and that may not be true, but it sometimes certainly seems like it. Something I try to get across to women is that the icky creepy incel dude and the attractive and appealing dude can be the same dude with a few changes.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 02:12 PM
9

I live near a very liberal city, and over and over again, I meet women who want to be submissive, meet a bread winner, be taken care of, etc. You're way more likely to meet someone like that than to meet someone not like that. Yet the politics floating above that laments gender pay gaps, and screams certain notions of equality women themselves mostly don't seem to want to be a part of. This is so very unsustainable. Imagine forceful corrections to a gender pay gap that wasn't due to sexism in th…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 12:50 PM
9

Little bit of truth here for me. I would say that my ability to feel that way faded over time. High school 100% fell in love, full stop, college got really really into a couple of girls, post-college thought "she'd be a decent girlfriend", and now I just don't see the appeal. I can't imagine anyone so wonderful that I would want to spend forever with them, or feel that strongly about them. I think it's about idealizing women, and then no longer being able to. At first girls are Goddesses who fil…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 12:42 PM
7

My recent experiences getting involved in the world of kink and BDSM have completely changed my opinion about this. I've met the nerdiest and most average-looking dudes you could ever meet, and you talk to them and quickly get a realization of all the shit they've done. If you find a way to fit in within the community, you're not going to be looking at sexual activity as some crazy hard-to-get thing anymore. It would be like complaining about not finding people who want to play TTRPG's with you …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/22 10:11 AM
10

Being a victim gets you attention these days. Depending on the victimhood, you almost get lauded for it. If Jussie Smollett hadn't been caught, he'd be experiencing millions of dollars of windfall, writing books, appearing on shows to discuss race in society and his plight as a black gay man, having tons of acting gigs, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 11:06 PM
3

They do actually want that, just not when they don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 11:02 PM
5

I've gotten involved in the kink community, and it's an interesting thing as both a social chameleon and a fast learner, watching some other guys stumble all over the place to try and get somewhere. It's fairly simple: Ditch the macho and the male horn dog stuff at the door, go to meets and talk to everyone like a friend, give it a little time to network and have people start to trust you, and then start asking if people are interested in play. I watched a young black dude, trying to be Mr. Cool…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/22 10:58 PM
2

Everyone owes everyone a bit of consideration.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 09:29 AM
1

Well she expressed how rare it was to meet someone like me who could talk to her about these things, so I thought it was mutual.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 08:19 AM
1

Can't I just punish the person who did it? Or the world? That seems like an option.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 08:16 AM
1

We met for drinks, conversation was great, same in the Uber back to her place. We're both nerdy philosophical people having high minded conversation. One thing I did notice was that she perceived the guy next to us at the bar, and the Uber driver, as getting a 'treat' getting to listen to our conversation, whereas my perception was that we were probably making them feel bad, so that was a little thing. But in general we seemed on the same page that this was an amazing thing to get each other to …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 06:55 AM
1

Well thank you, it makes me feel better someone thinks that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 06:46 AM
1

Oh, I regulate myself plenty. I had steam coming out of my ears about this but still sent the most gracious and considerate message about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 06:37 AM
2

Like I said, I've been so close for so long with people who wound up being people who did that, it seems like there's no defense or knowing.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 06:20 AM
1

Well fucking stop it then, lol. How am I supposed to know how I'm doing without feedback?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 06:18 AM
1

Please don't assume things about this date so much you weren't there. Just simply how much we talked about dating, life in general, how rare it was to get to talk about the things we were talking about with each other, etc. I think we even agreed it would be absurd to not see each other again. I'd be more convinced that she got scared to getting too close too quickly than that I didn't pass something.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 06:08 AM
1

It hurts and affects me too much. By the 80th time I'm just gonna be straight up murdering people for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 06:04 AM
3

No free meals. I bought drinks, she bought the Uber. Not that kind of thing at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 06:02 AM
1

Why I can't just generally expect people to be non-complete pieces of shit, and if they are, I get to punch them or something?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 06:01 AM
1

That's just the way that world is now, try not to take it personally. The more that it happens, the more that you become accustomed to it. No, I won't. Emotionally I feel like people who do this deserve a baseball bat to the fucking face. It infuriates me. And mostly it's just going to make me not want to put effort or invest anything in anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 06:00 AM
1

Lol, where do you meet them?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 05:53 AM
1

It's a very cynical view that basically says I can never expect women to be decent humans.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 05:47 AM
6

Well it makes me want to not date anymore. Kind of like "I know how this ends. I know nothing I say or feel or how good this is going, or length of time knowing you, will prevent your random whims, so why am I investing a single thing in you?"
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 05:44 AM
1

As I said, I'm not insecure about sex these days. If girl wanted a few orgasms, I was there for it, but I didn't need it. I was much more excited just to find a human close to my IQ I could actually talk with, and she expressed the same; how lonely it was to not be able to talk about the things she's into with most people. And yet it's a block...
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 05:40 AM
2

I'm actually getting laid just fine these days, so I don't feel pressure to turn every date into sex. This last date said she wanted to take it slow and I was totally on board with doing so, even preferring that myself. I left excited to share with her some early baroque music we had discussed and she was excited to hear (imagine how often I get to have that interaction), but then she's gone.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 05:34 AM
7

Well...that's bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 05:29 AM
3

The fantastic date was with a Philosophy PhD who I got to discuss ideas and life and art on a level I probably won't find like I said in the next 30 dates. She's also not a child, but near my age (40). And even she does shit like this apparently, hence my despair.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/22 05:28 AM
2

I've made a lot of progress in the past few months, and I want to get across to women how much of a massive difference that makes in attitude, confidence, and subsequent attractiveness. Success breeds success. You can give no fucks with one woman when you've got 5 other women you're in various stages with. A lot of guys are just on the other side of that, and need a good break. That frustrated incel who makes you dry up like the Sahara, and the guy you'd prefer, might just be the same fucking gu…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/22 09:14 PM
1

Well, I never 'get the right vibes' is part of the issue. I get the impression if I were looking for the standard women were looking for with that, I'd be 200 years old and still searching. I have people I find perfectly agreeable and that I'd be willing and interested to engage with sexually, and I'd like to do a lot of that, and it's a let down any time I put in time and effort down a dead end toward some of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/22 12:03 AM
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I would have been happy to go dom with her, but any reasonable kink person is going to tell you that you need tons of communication to have proper fun with these things. Just being super lazy and letting someone make all the decisions for you, and then being upset when they choose what you didn't want, isn't being a sub, it's being a dumbass.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 07:37 PM
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Her OLD profile said things like pansexual, manic pixie, looking for 'pleasure doms', and some other kind of dom I forget what. My profile explicitly says I'm into kink people and isn't shy about sexual interest. She never balked at sex talk in text chat. She wanted to meet very fast, like first night I was talking to her she was already wanting to make a date (for a free meal, it now seems). Night before the date, she was like "sorry I'm super high right now." So yes, I got a certain impression…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 03:12 PM
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Well it's a dead thing now, she only told me all this in the postmortem. The date was fine, I didn't hate it, but she really did just acquiesce and make me take the lead on everything and just sort of be there. Communication might have been a good idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 01:34 PM
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She described herself as a 'manic pansexual pixie' in her dating profile and attends pride parades, so there's that.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 01:06 PM
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It's hard to see the use of that type of thing anymore. Someone I marry is going to be someone I get along with, and that kind of scenario feels like it only creates distance to me. Another girl I started sexing with the same day we matched in OLD, who I'm having a joyously kinky horny time talking to, and have spent precisely $0 on, also has the benefit of seeming more like someone chill I connect with and would consider a serious partner to boot. So there just feels like nothing left to say fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 01:02 PM
1

...or I can just continue having fun with the horny kinkster chick I met who's super awesome and who I've been sexting and exchanging sexy photos with the past week or so, and whoever else comes along after, for the price of exactly $0. Hmm, which to choose...
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 12:29 PM
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I went out on a dinner date, and when the bill came, because it was pricey, I offered to pay the majority, and told her to just give what she could. She would later tell me that she was astonished I didn't just pay for her dinner, and that no one had ever not. I haven't formally dated a ton lately, and the more I thought about it, the more absurd it seemed. We're both around the same age, both have jobs and rent, both live in a super progressive city area. Really? Pay for dinner just auto like t…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/22 11:52 AM
1

But...you're on PPD right now. 'This sentence is false.'
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 07:59 PM
4

I signed up for grindr, partially out of curiosity. I'm not physically into most dudes, but could go for a pretty femboy type, and plus I just wanted to see how I did. I'm a big hairy hetero dude, and...holy shit this is easy. I basically could have sex with like any of a dozen people today if I wanted. Also educational is to realize I'm thinking more like a woman about safety. Can I trust these guys? Is it some sort of a trap?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 07:08 PM
1

Indeed. This is why tons of smart but unstudly guys go into comedy, and why there will be more funny men than women into the foreseeable future.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 07:01 PM
1

Maybe we're heading into those roaring 20s people suggested were coming. Sweet.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/22 01:23 AM
2

OLD has changed. I haven't really done it in like 4 or 5 years. Tinder used to be 100% bust for me, but OKcupid was alright. I got back on OKCupid and was depressed with the results, but recently tried Tinder again and was shocked how decent I'm doing. Dunno what's changed, perhaps just one good photo makes the difference, or maybe I'm just more direct and specific now.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/22 10:40 PM
3

I've realized my biggest problem with RP is not that it is wrong, but that it is incomplete. It's like talking about friendship in terms of "This is why people like you, this is why they don't. Just how it is. This will make you popular, this won't. If you do this, people will bail on you. Don't expect them to be there. People are just creatures of their own indulgence they don't even understand themselves why they do it." And...yeah that's probably all kinda true in some way. But holy shit thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/22 08:17 PM
2

Interesting. Well, I would say feel free to have any kind of relationship you like, just realize it's quite possible for others not to feel that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 05:19 AM
2

What about people in open relationships, or who bring other people into bed with them, or people dating strippers or other sex workers?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 05:03 AM
2

I'm sure some people are going to be more comfortable about such things than others. I personally consider it a part of my maturation to be less idealistic about such things. Of course other women are still going to be physically attractive. And of course my partner might find other men hot as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 04:46 AM
2

Other people. They suck and don't appreciate my genius.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 04:07 AM
1

Get a city/government job in a blue state. You can be a complete and utter moron, and lazy to boot, and you'll never get fired and you can take off whenever you want and get a good pension at the end of it all.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 04:05 AM
2

I don't know if they're sexist, but I do think they must be boring and unimaginative. There's seriously no category of porn of all that's out there you can find a good fantasy in? And sitting on your SO's lap while looking at some together holds zero appeal, even to try?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 04:03 AM
2

As a pretty inexperienced guy, I've eaten a girl's ass. As long as she's clean, it's not really a big thing. I would put it literally and figuratively close to eating pussy. So I'm not sure why you'd be totally cool with putting a guy's dick and/or balls in your mouth but then balk at a freshly-showered asshole.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/22 03:59 AM
7

Just got back into dating sites for the first time in a while. Yeah, they've gotten worse. Hilarious to me is that I want real connection, but nothing about many woman's profiles actually says they honestly do too. They're all formatted to 'bag a good man', while lamenting how ew they don't want any attention from those morally corrupt men looking for sex, they want something real. No, ladies, I don't think you actually do.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/22 04:14 AM
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Omni-woman, we meet at last.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 03:13 AM
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I don't know where you worked, but I've been to 3 places in my area. 2 had a stage behind the bar, and the girls mostly focused on lap dances, which involved a lot of touching. One had a stage with chairs along side, and that was the main income source, and there was tons of touching while on stage. Literally nowhere was it just about dancing. I also never heard of or saw anyone kicked out for inquiring if a girl did extra things in the VIP. A number of the girls literally grab my package during…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 02:51 AM
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I just wish I could tell every internet-glued guy in the world that the women he talks to online do not represent all women. Even when it comes to something like strippers. Online? Strippers are mega-bitches who want all men to know they hate their frigging guts and news flash don't touch them they're there to dance not be your fondling toy and if you spank them you're fucking committing sexual assault and don't dare look for sex you disgusting pig that's not our job. Real life? Strippers are mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/22 01:41 AM
2

hiss
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/22 07:23 PM
1

A peer and someone I get along with is who I would want for a serious relationship. Do I have fantasies about initiating cute virgin girls into becoming corrupted desperate horny sluts? Sure. But that's not a marriage thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/22 03:54 AM
1

He exudes small dick energy.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/22 03:51 AM
2

I suppose I would be curious what it would be like to have some of the more hostile interactions I've had here actually meet face to face to see what happens. I've never had that experience, and it might be educational as to how truly different people act online vs. in person.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/22 03:50 AM
1

You realize any actual meetup will be like 98% dudes, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/22 03:50 AM
1

I took it as she's maybe a little overly self-assured, and flying high on being a confident badass bitch. So it was like, "ok then, big boy, what have you got? Impress me."
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/22 10:54 PM
2

Because her current level of interest is not gospel from the heavans regarding how much she might actually enjoy being with me. I have no desire to get someone home and then do things with them they're not enjoying. I want to find the correct path to giving her multiple orgasms.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/22 10:50 PM
3

I recently wasn't at my best when talking to a girl I was into. I could have been smoother if I was less into her, but that's how it goes. And she put me to the test, with a: "Okay, convince me, why should I go out with you?" kind of thing. And my answer wasn't as good as I'm capable of...because I'm into her, so she makes me more nervous than usual. So, I failed my manliness test, but I can't help but consider that the guy who passes is probably doing so because she doesn't mean anything to him…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/22 09:42 PM
1

I'm interested in what you see as the biological underpinnings for men being entitled and selfish?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 07:46 PM
1

You just will not give an inch, will you? Pretty women are terrifying to young men, because of the power they seem to hold. Of course that makes them nervous. Of course some men find themselves in a place where they feel desperate. Plus, as is recounted on this subreddit constantly, online dating is a slog for even perfectly decent and attractive men. Maybe the more human reaction would be to go, "Well that's entirely understandable and I have some sympathy"? I see you comment here all the time,…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 06:44 PM
5

Dou-ble stan-dards, la la la.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 06:35 PM
0

Quick fix: Don't force men to pay child support.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 06:34 PM
5

You know how hot milf fantasies can be when you're younger?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 06:27 PM
1

Think of it like job hunting. It's a deeply unpleasant experience full of rejection, and then when you do finally land the interview, you're nervous and don't want to blow it. And you know what you're expected to say in that interview, and that it's not total honesty. You want a job because you need fucking money, and this place seemed a bearable option to do that, and the whole process is a bit bullshit to begin with. But the interviewer wants to hear certain things from you, almost as if they'…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 06:22 PM
2

I'm sure some aren't, and that's fine. I just have issue with the idea that it's some kind of moral failing to be otherwise, or even that more casual encounters constitute 'only fucking'. The first word in FWB is 'friend', after all. I almost feel like there's some kind of insult experienced to the notion that I could meet you and not be so blown away I would want to spend my whole life with you in romantic bliss.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 07:18 AM
1

Well I'm not suffering because I can't find love. I'd be perfectly happy with an active and fun sex life for now.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 07:08 AM
1

Again, even with this it's confusing to me. Either we're destined eternal lovers or you're a sexual object to me? We can't just be two people with some chemistry on the same page down to have some fun together?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 06:50 AM
1

Most dudes seem to be doing what they think will work, because they feel they have to. They didn't make the world that way, they're just trying to live in it. So they get told things about how to behave, some not so great, do that, and hope that works.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 06:44 AM
2

It's not a list but more an attitude. I was stuck in nice guy mode. That girl from high school I walked to the car with after a long day, and said "OK, see ya" to? I could have said, "Wanna go somewhere?" like I was suggesting the most casual and obvious thing in the world. I could behave like sexual interaction was an easy and normal thing in all those situations where it was instead a huge and nerve-racking thing for me at the time. It also helps to know your worth - girls are not that hard to…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 06:39 AM
1

Well let me put it this way - Online there were dozens of 'tee-hee' girls seemingly looking for romance who thought platonic conversation was swell who all blur together into a giant blob of zero impression. There was one heavy-set BDSM girl I talked to in between who I found super refreshing to talk to. Like I suggested, we had what I feel was the 'adult' conversation - "Yeah attraction dynamics are interesting. I think that plays into how there's appeal in this fetish..." "Yeah, I agree." etc.…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 03:50 AM
1

No women is going to want to be your sexual plaything if that's all she is to you, a plaything. Well I'd like it if she were a person who is capable of seeing the same appeal in the idea of being used as a plaything that I can see in that. As a big hairy male that's not really a thing I can be, but I totally get why some women find that hot, which I why I feel like I'd be good at playing the other end of that. Realize, it's the dom that's putting in the real work for the sub a lot of the time. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 03:39 AM
1

I'm not utterly beyond being inspired to romantic gestures, but the things those women are doing have nothing to do with the things that would inspire me to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 03:34 AM
2

Why must people be so lame and boring?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 03:24 AM
1

Women aren't frigid, they just have slightly different sources of appeal, or are missing some of that lustful visual desire men have. I think over time I've figured out that mindset a little better. Also, with some success comes realization of how much I could have done in the past. I think back to college and am like "Geez, with what I know now, I could have totally gotten her. And her. And her. I thought it was some herculean task, but all I had to do with stop thinking it was. Fuck!"
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 03:23 AM
2

I feel like the more cutesy stuff with romance is for children. I left that behind long ago, and I also find it incompatible with such a strong equality-based society. I once fell in love with a girl in high school, because she was that feminine Goddess ideal to me, and all the romance stuff feel like I would have needed to be alive in the 1960's with the Beach Boys on the radio. Once you kill the mystique of women and bring them down to Earth, that stuff doesn't work any more.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 03:16 AM
2

Well in the past, apparently all the wrong things. These days I've learned I apparently need to lay out frankly what I thought was tacetly understood in the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 03:04 AM
1

Well some of my goals for the future, and I want it to be the near future because I feel like life is short and I'm playing massive amounts of catch up, involve getting to fuck a wide variety of women and have tons of experiences and try all sorts of things sexually I've never tried before. I want to bring home cute 20-somethings and do seductive things with them and put them at ease and try hypno-type psychological stuff and lick their pussies to amazing orgasms. I want to meet a pair of those …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 03:02 AM
2

I feel used because I felt like we were on the same page and then discovered I was being deceived or misunderstood. Like, if you're on a dating site, the thing that shouldn't need even the slightest bit of explicit statement is that we're all there to find compatible people to fuck. It's not a friend site. Why in God's name would you spend like two months talking to someone on there you were never going to do anything more with?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 02:43 AM
1

To me, it's this - Girls who just want to find that one guy to marry and have a gorgeous wedding and attend luncheons and go "tee-hee" until the end of time = strange alien creatures I will never fathom, and could only ever want to get a chance to satisfy my curiosity if they're hot. Girls with a healthy sex drive who don't do weird chick stuff and are capable of level-headed conversation and talking like adults about sexuality and kinks and are on the same page with me = normal humans I want to…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 02:38 AM
0

I'm more than fine talking, but it's not the end in itself. I'm not on a dating site to chat and have it go nowhere. I'm not in a bar just to talk for hours and not have you go home with me or else set something up for another time. The women I don't want to do that with are the ones where after a few basic exchanges it became awkward and it was clear we had no chemistry. If we have chemistry, awesome, let's take advantage of it. Life is short.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 02:31 AM
4

Well it's crazy sometimes how often I've felt used. Just for attention and conversation.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 02:13 AM
6

To this day, I'm still thrown when I'm put to some kind of either/or test from women. "It's so nice to meet a guy who is interesting in talking and getting to know me. Must guys are just trying to fuck me." Um...I want to fuck you too. But I want to fuck you in part because we got along and spent time talking. That seems so obvious to me it's hard to understand why it needs explaining. This is eternal for me. Female friends I had, girls I knew in college, or met at parties, or online, etc. Even …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/22 02:04 AM
2

What is life? What is the nature of our human existence? When does life begin? If you think you have absolute and clear answers to those questions, IMO you're a fucking fool, on either side of the abortion debate. They're impossible questions. Equally impossible is taking our rights and value on individual life, and then having one life grow inside another life. Holy fuck. Could you mess with that system harder if you tried? Oh yeah, and only half of us have to deal with that, but all of us have…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/22 08:53 PM
1

My advice would be that if you're gonna try and do it, you need to do it now, really fucking do it, and not half-ass it. But the reality, I hate to tell you, is that you don't have quite as much control over this as you think you do. If you're smart, have connections, and are willing and able to bust your ass, you've got a bunch of lottery tickets. Still very small chance you're going to win the lottery though. A million is more than doable, almost inevitable with inflation and a decent job, but…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/22 03:26 AM
2

In my late 30s
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 06:47 PM
2

Something I wish I could convey to younger people is how much it's OK to be honest a lot of the time. Horny virgin at a college party? "Oh, I'm a total virgin, so I basically can't come to these parties without both being nervous and also thinking about how hot some people are and how much I just want someone to go home with me for the first time." It's fine. You're fucking 19 or something. Not a damn thing wrong with being or feeling that way, and anyone who thinks so has their own problems. Ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 06:45 PM
1

I'm definitely not told that very much. My approach is that there's a threshold for me, above that totally let's chat and see how we gel, below that sorry I feel bad but it's a no.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/22 06:35 PM
4

The further I get into finding my life in a positive place where things are happening for me, the more absurd the world subreddits like r/TwoXchromosomes seem to live in. If I thought all women thought like them, and kinda did at one point, I would miss so many opportunities, feel so constantly defensive and on eggshells, have so much fear of being terrible for doing the wrong thing, think certain things that were completely possible weren't, and entirely fail to realize that women can potential…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/22 04:25 PM
2

You're overestimating the ability for an average human to be that cold in that situation. Sure, some turn it all off, but some of the girls there are legit just party girls who decided they might as well be paid for it. It's usually more gray than you're thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/22 08:16 PM
2

Something that never made sense to me about strip clubs is the skanky aesthetic. You don't want the girls to look as cheap as possible, you want them to look as expensive as possible. You want them to resemble that girl the guy saw on the street and thought no fucking way she'd ever let me touch her and who made him desperate to see what she looked like under her street clothes. You want to make even getting to see her butt in underwear seem like a huge fucking deal. But go to a strip club, and …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/22 09:55 AM
2

I was thinking about asking for some advice on sexual things going on in my life in a place like r/sex, but then I remember how many subreddits are not places for actual regular humans to give decent advice. More than that, I felt like in place of advice would be indoctrination - like going on gay chat board run by a conservative Christian group trying to convert everyone, and every answer they give is some form of "you just need to start believing in Jesus and repent for your sinful ways". On r…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/22 09:43 PM
1

I don't think about n counts at all. There's some appeal for me of someone virginal mostly because I like to impress and be the teacher and show someone new things, but if not that then mostly whatever. The issue more with sexual assault is if she's going to have comfort issues or issues with men.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/22 12:13 AM
1

The top chefs in the world have traditionally been men and still mostly are. To be a top tier chef you need to be an unceasing egomaniac perfectionist willing to put in 14 hours every day and start by submitting yourself to the masculine hierarchy of a high-end kitchen. That might be more of a guy thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/22 12:09 AM
8

So you're OK with being disgusted with every woman willing to sleep with you?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/22 12:08 AM
3

I did actually get that in my Youtube feed. The point I desire to make to feminists or women who see content like this as part of the problem is this: Just being able to see women willing to listen and be open to these ideas is a source of both relief, and something that fills me with a desire to reciprocate. Even if 95% of these ideas turn out dead wrong, and the femosphere is dead right about it all instead, the way the femosphere goes about it is damaging and counterproductive. I make this ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/22 10:11 PM
1

My perspective is that you figure things out. Put my current brain back in my 18yo body and I feel like I could probably have convinced any girl on my Freshman dorm floor to bang me without that all that much difficulty.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 09:40 PM
1

I wish 100 people wanted to fuck my asshole. Wanna trade situations?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 09:37 PM
2

If you don't want to have sex until you're engaged, then why do you want to attract people for whom that is a deal breaker?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 09:32 PM
1

I got my hands on some Cialis recently. It enhances sensation and horniness significantly, to the point where I feel like I was missing out all this time. More relevant, the psychology change is interesting. I needed a hole to fuck, like really bad. I've never been blown away by blowjobs, but suddenly I really wanted one. I've also never been someone who just needed to find a quick bang, but I felt like I wanted that too, and I couldn't wait, and a pussy would feel sooo good. I've argued with wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/22 05:36 PM
2

I mean, if you really want just the experience, I'm sure you can hire a couple of women to do that with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/22 05:10 PM
-1

Make him jealous by having fun with other guys in his presence and seem unattainable. I hate how much this still works on me, but it does.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/22 07:32 AM
1

I'm geared to please and want to impress, so it's definitely important to me. This is ever more true the more I discover "Wow, she's not that great at this" and "Wow, I'm not the bumbling incompetent I feared I would be."
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/22 07:31 AM
1

No the gates were open, it's just that a trip inside the gates reminded me that what's in there isn't as great as you imagine it is when the gates are shut to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 12:47 PM
1

Well I think the fact that I'm good at describing that mindset is a good thing, because I'm trying to get people like you to understand. Clearly I'm still failing in some regard, but if you would take the descriptions I give, and extrapolate that to how men you encounter in the world might feel, you might find a lot of their behavior starts to make more sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 05:18 AM
1

With the feminists I say I 'reported' to? I mean, it's possible that what I'm doing is making sense in a way that subtly implies that the incredibly weak, quasi-religious ideology they believe in is a giant ball of bullshit, and so they get upset. Beyond that it doesn't make a ton of sense. Like I said, I'm thinking that basically nothing is enough for those people except dutifully reciting the dogma.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 05:11 AM
1

Always have? I didn't know I had a stalker. I guess you're one of the people I've talked to on here in the past?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 04:55 AM
1

Well this wasn't yesterday, but once upon a time you might have seen me at the gym in pain because several gorgeous women there were making me feel like crying because of how much I wanted to touch them and get positive reactions from them. And I felt like nothing I felt could be expressed without negative reaction, because it was indeed all lustful guy stuff. I would try to think strategically about how I could make things happen for myself, what 'the right thing to say' was, and found myself e…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 04:50 AM
1

It's more woe and defense of the men I feel are still more deeply trapped in that than me, and a desire to advocate for them. Yes, I was being condescending to people who are part of the femosphere contributing to making world a worse place, but that's because they deserve it. That's far from all women, though, it's just a particular kind of ideologue. I think your reaction is more that you read that as condescending to your own views, and that might be because your own views are indeed dumb.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 04:33 AM
1

I thought it was pretty darn good and should have been received well, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 03:59 AM
1

Okay, elaborate what I'm wrong about.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 03:09 AM
1

There was a time when I was in a very vulnerable place, and hearing that would have bothered me. And coming out of that and finding restored empathy and connection required working against the words and attitudes of those who claimed to be champions of compassion. So...maybe they're going about that in kind of a shitty way then? It's a shame you hate me, because I have understanding and improvements to offer.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 03:05 AM
2

That's the question. I thought I had things to report they would like. There's a theory that some women who are like that actually want a man who will not take their shit and be dominant with them, because deep down they know they are full of shit, and they are repulsed by men who show weakness or acquiescence. That seems at the very least a bit simplistic to me, but then things like this happen and...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 02:17 AM
2

Well I had the volume turned down on my manly lust for women, first of all. For reasons I won't go into so much, I found myself with a high libido, but not being thrilled by women physically. Whereas I'm frequently a guy who can't help but chase hotness, I found chemistry and personality mattering to me more. Her ass is just an ass...yawn. From there, I had a sexual experience that wasn't amazing on my side, but she enjoyed it. Kind of turned off from what women could offer me lustfully or orgas…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 02:04 AM
2

More or less. I think it's more complicated with the ideologues, because they take their emotional impulses and combine them with ideas about the world that don't mix together well, so you wind up with reactions that are utterly contradictory.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 01:56 AM
3

I've had an interesting past few months sexually, and it's given me some insight. I feel so much more confident in my understanding of things, and myself, and my capabilities in sexual situations, and although I still have a few things I'm trying to reconcile, I feel like I 'get it' a lot more. Part of that was exploring a mindset that was less lustful and testosterone-y, and feeling like I get a female mindset more than I used to. And part of me was excited for a chance to report this new under…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/22 01:38 AM
1

I'm the guy who is always "OMG, you've never heard this song/seen this movie? We have to do that, then!" I love showing those things to people who've never seen them before. You see where this is going - A virgin, or person who is in some way inexperienced, is my opportunity to do that, and see their reaction and the like. That's what would appeal to me. Also, it was kind of a shock to me once upon a time to discover that experience didn't equal skill or compatibility. I remember having phone se…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/22 09:54 AM
1

Yeah I only cook pieces of meat for myself for dinner now. No sides, no trying new recipes, no lengthy braises or sauces or stews...because I have no one to try them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/22 04:00 AM
1

It involves readjusting expectations. It's probably not gonna feel exactly how you imagined, and all the personal stuff you don't have to worry about in fantasy is going to be present as well. Also, you just don't know what you like yet. People surprise themselves. I never play with my balls when I masturbate, for example, but I definitely like it when women do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/22 11:09 AM
1

Unfortunately I tend to live in regret a lot. I totally bungled interactions with the women who turned out to have meant the most to me, and in hindsight it seems to ridiculously clear what I could have done. I also needed to take more risks. I tend to forget now how life was just trying to hang on for me back then. I was bullied so hard, social interaction was a battlefield, where the goal was to just never get embarrassed or have people laugh or make fun of you. So all my decisions involved pu…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/22 11:03 AM
2

Funny learning moment for me at a strip club last weekend: I get a lap dance from a Columbian girl I would probably jerk off to furiously if I saw her online. The lap dance is...fine. Her ass is heavy and gigantic, her skin feels like every other stripper's skin, and she smells like every other stripper smells. She does the typical moves, and it's a mix of nice and awkward, because we clearly have zero chemistry going on. A little later, I see her go over to a chair with another guy, and give hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/22 10:57 AM
27

My eternal question is how women can be so un-self aware about this, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/22 05:08 AM
–

I certainly get some pause seeing quotes from some incel forums. I like to think people are just venting and most aren't irredeemable, but yeah some of it is clearly not great. I think the larger problem is still very worth of sympathy, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/22 11:04 AM
–

I just had to come here and mention this. I had a girl I know recently tell me how disgusting she thought incels were, and how the fact that they can't get laid was reflective of how undeserving they were, because of who they were personally. This same girl had an ex boyfriend almost beat her to death.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/22 10:52 AM
4

I didn't do much chatting, I just said "thanks" or what not. I said nothing about being male or female.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/22 11:38 AM
7

Try 6foot5RichPakistani and see how you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/22 09:38 AM
1

I'm not someone who likes women to 'do' for me, unless they can magically read my mind and act out my fantasies, which obviously never actually happens. So, I like it to be the other way around. I like the opportunity to put anxious people at ease, to show them new things, to be the one with the experience, etc. Thus, I prefer younger women. There's also the fact that pretty girls just make me smile and I find them adorable and that can have more appeal to me than interaction with someone older.…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/22 09:00 AM
19

I recently used a throwaway account to discuss sex on another subreddit, and after posting I realized my posts were ambiguous, or maybe even suggesting a young female as the most likely poster of such questions and comments. Holy fuck balls. The amount of private messages, interest, attention, and positive reinforcement I received...people wanting to talk with me about it, telling me how smart my questions were, etc. I never, ever, ever get that shit as a guy, and it felt really nice. It makes m…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/22 08:49 AM
1

I really want to know what this supposed free woman would look and act like. Are there any examples of real women out there that you think come close?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 04:10 AM
1

You're really failing to give me specific examples, though. Can you do that? You say that media and the beauty industry lie. Sure, I agree with that. I don't think they lie only to women, though. I got a lot of terrible ideas from movies and media about women and relationships and who I was supposed to be. I don't think it's female exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 03:11 AM
1

What lies were you told? I also would really like some examples of what you think a free woman looks like, because I imagine you don't mean that she pees in the snow and eats raw meat.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/22 01:27 AM
2

I dunno. It reminds me of how people watch shows like Criminal Minds and Law and Order: SVU, and pretend they're not watching it on any level but with moral contempt for the bad guys on the show. Really they're watching it excited and titillated and entertained, but the shows give them excuses to pretend otherwise, even though really I think a show like Criminal Minds sometimes winds up not far removed from snuff porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 07:02 AM
3

With the Russia stuff...I don't think it's good that Putin invaded and all that, but there is just SO much virtue signaling and denial that anyone actually finds this exciting in any way. Of course we do, this is why "if it bleeds, it leads" became a thing, and why news station are going to show clips of bombs over and over again in the coming days. We like vicarious horrible news. How did we forget this? I dug up an old George Carlin bit about it. And to quote the TOOL song: Why can't we just a…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 06:14 AM
1

how many women you have made feel this way all throughout history Am I an immortal vampire? Thinking it's a good idea to say people need to pay for imagined slights of centuries past is part of the problem. The narrative that human history has been one long oppression of women is mostly bullshit. The reality is that men and women struggled together for most of human history against the horrors of nature and human frailty and for survival. And we accepted roles that best allowed us to engage in t…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 06:08 AM
1

So who is this wolf that women yearn to be?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 05:37 AM
1

I don't even really know where to go with that. First of all, I feel like it's men who have always warped themselves into whatever mold required to get women. Men sometimes sacrifice everything else in their lives, work 80 hour weeks, and devote everything to try and get to a position in the social hierarchy where they can finally attract large amounts of attractive women. Men have started wars over women. When I was younger, I half convinced myself of things I didn't really believe, because the…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 05:15 AM
1

Well I start off with wrong assumptions because I don't have a pussy, and my arousal works a certain, slightly different, way. I've never given another man a handjob/blowjob, but I'm sure even the first time I wouldn't suck at it (no pun intended), because I know how dicks work, because I have one.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 04:10 AM
1

Humans are malleable, for sure, but I think there's a danger there in that those motivated by Utopian thinking and idealism (like Marxists) can use that as an excuse to justify trying to mold human societies to their liking, with horrifying results. Similarly, I think the idea that beauty standards can be variable is something most grabbed onto by those who have an agenda to try and social engineer what they want people to see as beautiful. I see this in action all the time in feminist realms, w…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 04:06 AM
5

Yeah I don't even think virgins themselves would agree with that. I will say that lots of sex doesn't automatically make someone good in bed, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 03:57 AM
1

Well I like cats, and have issues with women, so that doesn't work for me. The one thing I will say is that learning to make a cat purr by learning to rub the right spots in the right way is very similar to learning how to arouse a woman. You start off with wrong assumptions and not knowing the right spots, but eventually you have your go-to techniques that work for you fairly consistently.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 03:53 AM
1

Do you feel raped?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 03:49 AM
1

There is some minority of women who are looking for that, it's just that they are a minority, and your success in that is going to be pretty hard tied to your superficial attractiveness. I had a very blunt sex-based OLD profile at one point. It got me a heavy-set BDSM girl who wanted me to come over and dominate her, and a black woman who kept talking about my face like it was a Cheeto she wanted to eat up. The first I simply couldn't find arousal for, and the second weirded me out. It made me r…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 03:48 AM
2

Because they're hot and you want them. Also, I can find good, flirty dynamics with women that I wouldn't want to have a non-sexual conversation with. I remember a college student I tutored who was super sexy and flirty...and also a complete moron and somewhat vacant human being. But damn if I didn't have hot fantasies about her and her adorable Slavic accent bouncing on top of me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 03:31 AM
1

Easier, sure. Safer...meh, not really that concerned as a guy as long as we have a condom. Better? Maybe, maybe not. I frankly get bored of people sometimes, and I do find that I have the experience of the male rooster in the Coolidge effect to some degree, where I feel like my biology is telling me to fuck far and wide.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 03:26 AM
1

Have you ever seen someone and went "OMFG I want them"? Well, if you hook up, you get to have them. Yes, of course they can screw up your image of them by saying the wrong thing, and of course people aren't always on the same page, but as long as you're roughly are on the same page, to me this is one of those moments you get a finite amount of in life, so of fucking course I want to take full advantage of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/22 03:23 AM
1

I think they're literally thinking differently as well, at least potentially. I have my disgruntled "I don't give a shit about you or what you're saying right now" side, but it's majorly enhanced by too much social media interaction as well as just general depressed/antisocial mood brought on by negative experience. My attitudes toward people definitely get more positive with more time around friends and other positive influences.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 07:40 PM
0

It's stupid that I'm here. I cannot tell you the difference it makes receiving positive attention and interaction with women who are sane and normal and have healthy libidos, vs. dealing with some people here. It's a perpetuating thing where the more you experience of that, the more positive future interactions are. I've been in places where I would anticipate that women I might talk to IRL were going to have the attitudes I got accustomed to talking to internet feminists and the like, and it ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 07:20 PM
2

Politicians have to be way bigger whores than strippers.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/22 07:04 PM
2

Set your expectations low and you'll never be disappointed.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/22 11:08 PM
2

My issue with that first of all is that I haven't seen any evidence of women choosing the best of the best, at least not on a standard moral level. There are any number of less than admirable men who do just fine with women. Second I think it's foolish to see the mistreatment as a one way street, and I think much more accurate to see a deadly cycle going on. Finally I think there's a huge amount of men very frustrated and tuned out and bitter because society has made them into the enemy. Paintin…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/22 09:10 PM
0

That's not necessarily the ideology I was talking about. It is a little bit, but not mainly.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/22 09:04 PM
2

The comment was intended to go either way.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/22 08:16 PM
1

Well I'd love to hear you elaborate more on what you think is going on.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/22 08:12 PM
2

I'm curious, have you ever experimented with finding a pic of an average person and tried online dating as the opposite gender?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/22 08:11 PM
1

Well is the goal treatment? Because I and many other men grew up with the "treat her right" kind of mindset, but that's not what women really wanted or responded to, in large part. It's also the cause of the epidemic of disgruntled 'nice guys' who thought they were doing what they were supposed to be doing.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/22 08:03 PM
0

Which points are you referring to?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/22 07:43 PM
2

Where are you getting that from?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/22 07:24 PM
3

I never classified myself as a social butterfly, but my sense of things is often that people seem to be reading from a ideology that anyone who had ever actually had friends or attended a social gathering and observed how men and women actually behaved would know doesn't match with reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/22 07:15 PM
2

What would an example of such a boring and normal opinion be?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/22 07:14 PM
2

Yes. Sometimes things just fall into your lap like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/22 12:09 AM
2

It's sounds like she's trying to say they pushed her too hard for her body to handle. But it's possible that other women's bodies could handle it, and those are the ones who managed to make it to the elite level. That's true in a ton of athletic pursuits, and it's one of the things steroids are so helpful with.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 10:52 PM
1

So what would you say influence people to pursue those positions?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 09:39 PM
5

I was just listening to someone criticize how there needed to be more female coaches in Olympic sports, because gender equality. Let's break this down: In a lot of sports, there are more male competitors than female, and the male competition is tighter among the top people. For example, in tennis, the top 1000 male players are all fucking fantastic, like on 1 to 10 scale they'll all at least a 9.5. While on the women's side, the top 1000 women's players probably range from a 7.0 to a 9.5, and th…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 09:18 PM
2

I would, I just wouldn't put that much importance on height.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 02:57 PM
2

She seems like she goes in the non-sporting group to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 02:56 PM
1

The video was done in a semi-wholesome way by an outside producer: https://youtu.be/FElEx3pt51w Of course now you realize they probably agreed to it for attention and promotion.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 02:55 PM
6

No, men on this sub are like people who worked hard for A's their entire lives in the ways they were always told to, and then discovered the brutal truth that all the jobs and promotions go to the guys who the boss randomly decided had nice hair. And then they get told it's their own fault for not putting enough attention into their own hair, and that their lack of nice hair is probably just a marker that they're a person of low moral character who was going to steal from the company anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 02:51 PM
6

You see, Chad: It's because deep down, hot women are subconsciously telling you they want to be Targets, and ugly women are subconsciously acknowledging they've hit a Wal.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 02:49 PM
1

Yeah this has never even been remotely on my radar as an issue. I might possibly think about intelligence in this way, but not height.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 02:46 PM
1

I happened upon a Youtube video of a couple where the girl liked to behave, and be treated like, a dog 24/7. I was like 'alright', but then when I found out she had an Onlyfans, I was like "Ugh, gross that just cheapens the whole thing."
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 02:33 PM
2

You and I can agree on something. It's kind of insulting, and doesn't actually make you feel like people actually care about you, more like they're dismissing you as mentally ill.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/22 02:31 PM
1

I would qualify this. I think it's entirely possible to have good sex with someone you met recently, if you just wind up vibing and find yourselves on the same wavelength. Perhaps you're a fool if you leave that as a one-off though. Something I've found is that, yes, I do want connection, but I find connection has fuck all to do with smalltalk, or learning what your favorite books are, or whatever else. I think that moment you have initial contact with someone and get some intuitive sense that y…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/22 12:24 PM
4

I think the disconnect is that somehow the wanting of sex, the approval of women, the intimate moments they want to have, and the meaning it carries for men, gets lost in translation. As someone once said, if men 'just wanted sex', they would get a prostitute instead of falling down a depression spiral. Clearly the situation men are looking to make happen holds more meaning for them than that. I run into this disconnect constantly, where I wax poetic about the things and moments I want, in an at…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 12:54 PM
1

This test fails for me, because I'm turned on by such things, even from people I'm not into, and also because I feel like I can take care of myself in a way that's not purely about physical strength. Not the size of the dog that barks, but the size of the bark in the dog, so to speak.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/22 12:50 PM
26

I just tired of women using me for that willy-nilly. I've literally had women I was working with take business time to spend 20 minutes outlining some minor hardship in their life that had nothing to do with me and that I couldn't possibly have been interested in. I'm someone who is very conscious of trying not to spew on whatever obsession is in my head at the moment, and always have my antenna out for how well a conversation topic is being received, so it bothers me when other people just indu…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 10:29 PM
9

Groups like TLC and En Vogue incorrectly taught me to think of sex as a reward for not engaging in certain behaviors, and the women consciously gave/withheld sex based on how respectful and gentlemanly you were.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/22 09:52 PM
1

Around 20 my friend had his first girlfriend, who was 16. I went out on a double date with them and her friend, and my side didn't amount to much, but they were together for about a year. They did have sex and one point, even though they weren't 'supposed to'. And it was all so utterly normal and harmless it's amazing to think there's a scenario where my friend has to register as a sex offender for his entirely unremarkable relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/22 08:26 PM
1

I don't think it's a matter of priority. Unless you really think men v. women is a zero-sum war game you want women to win, there should be a place that both parties should be able to arrive at where both benefit. I definitely think that's the case, and clearly so. But I meet a lot of women who seem to see it as a fight they want to win instead.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/22 09:43 AM
1

Because my experiences so often deal with wanting to find an understanding that everyone suffers, and that understanding and sympathy are a two way street, and so often when I try to offer that, I get a stubborn insistence that, no, it's primarily they who are being wronged, and they're not moving from that position. To me it's kind of like dealing with radical/ideological thought of many kinds, as my comment suggested. It was the same for me arguing with Trump supporters in pastyears - I was co…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/22 09:40 AM
1

Victim is a comfortable cloak that modern society is actually encouraging some people to wear.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/22 09:33 AM
1

I'm sure some feminists have been raped, but I don't think most have. I think more their negative experiences just involve dealing with horny men and/or feeling like their only value is in their physical desirability. I talk to women one here who often eventually vent about what it was they went through, and it was usually just a shitty relationship or constant approaches by men, possibly a stalker in there or something. Not good, but not rape. You have to realize that I look at women and they s…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/22 09:30 AM
0

I obviously can't truly understand but I always wonder if guys are struggling why not attend a swing dance class? Or go to something like a fezziwig ball. My experience is that attending social events you're not into solely for the purposes of finding women doesn't really work. It reads in your interactions that you're not really involved in the thing people are there to do, you can't share their enthusiasm, etc. At it's worst, a dude at a swing dance session who is so clearly there just to hit …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/22 09:20 AM
1

That's an interesting approach. Again, my primary thought is that it shouldn't be necessary. There are any number of men (including me) who would find it super refreshing to get to deal with someone with a personality we could relate to more. It seems like that would make it easier to find a personal connection, not harder. I go on dating sites myself and have issues with just how alien some women's personalities are to me. I think very guy, and so women on the other end of the spectrum I can't …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/22 08:58 AM
3

Well you're not actually looking to find dates, you're just looking for a hint of the male experience. We can't put a prosthetic male body on you and have you approach women in public, so this would be the next best thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/22 11:33 PM
2

She wasn't an Evangelical Christian, she was part of some obscure thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/22 11:32 PM
1

It might be worth the experience for you to find a photo of an average-looking guy, and create a profile with it on Tinder, or another dating site, and try your luck with women. Most women I've seen try this are stunned at how hard it is, how women behave, and how much it just wrecks their self esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/22 11:28 PM
5

In college I knew a girl who was a religious conservative. She was forever sweet and harmless, but when it came to things like homosexuality, she would dutifully quote how the Bible said homosexuality was a sin and how she could not abide such people and how no accommodation should be made for them. This frustrated me at the time, because I knew, just from seeing the kind of person she was, that if she approached the situation in a vacuum, she would clearly see gay people as decent humans who we…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/22 11:24 PM
2

I don't know if this is necessary, or if I agree with you on this. There are tons of examples in western society of women with masculine personality traits being desirable. Case in point, basically every female MARVEL character, both in the films and in the comics decades earlier. I REALLY don't think this is the thing that's going to kill you with men, or if you're going to be pleased with the results of even if you pull it off. If we're being realistic about things, I'd say make yourself as ph…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/22 11:15 PM
5

I never had privileges. It's a tad frustrating if you read what I wrote and don't get that. The idea of men living in this amazing world of privilege that's now coming into greater balance is a giant ball of bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/22 07:54 AM
3

As someone who was friendzoned pretty hard, let me explain what I was thinking: It was obvious to me that I couldn't just express what I felt. What was I offering at that point? Why would women respond in kind to the immediate desire I felt for them? It would have been silly to do that. Instead, I had to show them something. Maybe if they got to know me, got familiar with me, and thought I was great, they would get interested. Makes sense, right? Plus, I had been exposed to endless media and cul…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/22 07:44 AM
1

All I will say is that I just don't feel like I'm a man being forced to be manly who would really prefer not to be. I never have. Instead, I feel like a man who used to operate in a world that made more sense because it tacitly understood how I was and didn't make me feel like a horrible criminal for it, who now lives in a world where he sees people bending over backwards to accommodate how LGBT people and other 'oppressed' people feel and want to be, but where he's no longer free to be who he i…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/22 07:23 AM
2

Well I think it's fair to say I have a more prickly disposition than I had 10 years ago as well. It feels like it's interactions with women on the internet that did that to me, but regardless I'm not coming out of social media pure either.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/22 10:12 AM
6

I was just watching the movie Now You See Me on TV. Kind of a silly movie IMO, but it's one in a long line of movies I watch, this one from less than 10 years ago, that features human beings of different genders acting normal with each other, as opposed to what we have now. Two characters go home with each other, and the girl is horny and fun in a way I remember girls IRL being, before the default became frigid idelaist or massively entitled bitch. Woddy Harrelson, in character, hits on an actre…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/22 09:52 AM
–

Yeah I did miss that. Oh well. Once upon a time I kinda bought it. I thought I was a super good person, and surely a super good person would agree with that sentiment and feel that way, right? What actually happened was the platonic friendships became memories of pain and frustration and resentment, and I'm left wishing I could have at least got to see them all naked or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 10:14 AM
–

Well the allure of the fantasy is exactly the problem that lets perfect be the enemy of good. It's the same with people who think Marxism is still viable and the evil things they resent about capitalism can be eradicated form the Earth and we can live like Captain Picard on Star Trek. Nice daydream, not actually possible in reality, and it causes people to reject improvements because they don't fit their imagined Utopia.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 10:10 AM
–

No, they don't. I've talked about how women I've known for years I get used to and where I once might have been 'eh' now I find the chemistry and the comfort is something I value, and when I look at her I just see "it's her", because of all that, and her body feels nice against mine even thought it's not the best, etc...you'd think those would all be good things, but nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 10:04 AM
–

You could offer him solid advice to help him move up the ranks.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 10:01 AM
–

I guess it depends which aspects are the lite ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 10:00 AM
–

That sincerity would be rewarded. No, I don't think any of them actually claim this. They're just saying being honest would make you not a complete shithead in their eyes and make their lives way easier. See, to their mind, only horrible humans care about such things, so they're just trying to lead you down the path of being a more moral person, in which you are surely to discover that being friends with women and discovering what books they are reading and enjoying wonderful platonic togetherne…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 09:56 AM
10

My basic thing is that I simply can't believe how BORING some people are. This should not be hard to get for anyone with any kind of libido and basic healthy sense of fun, naughtyness, and personal dynamics. I've known 35yo women who had flings with younger men, and it really didn't need to be explained that there was a turn on involving the dynamic for both of them: Experienced MILF with power and know how showing the younger guy the ways of the world. Duh. If you can't wrap your head around ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 12:56 AM
–

"If it bleeds, we can fuck it."
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 12:20 AM
–

Wow I must want to get married like 30 times over.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 12:18 AM
–

Nope, it won't matter. They'll pay lip service to it, but his ability to constantly manipulate the situation with these women to his benefit is a demonstration of his power and competence, which ultimately only makes him more attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 12:17 AM
–

OJ Simpson got more chicks after he decapitated his wife than he ever did before. Think about that, people.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/22 12:14 AM
1

Possibly. And really, that's fine if they don't, it's just a problem when they want to make grand pronouncements about how the whole world should think like them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 01:25 PM
0

Right wing girls are way more laid back and fun, and more likely to have a little crazy in the bedroom, so yes definitely.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 01:11 PM
1

I relate to you more as a person for this than to women who can't understand why anyone would ever want anything but to find a peer to marry and go to craft fairs with until the end of time.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 01:10 PM
1

Well I don't see anyone as my equal, but there's a ton of people I want to fuck, so this philosophy doesn't leave much room for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 01:08 PM
4

Maybe they actually hate immigrants and reported you for being ironic.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 01:03 PM
1

The problem is that when you remove yourself from the mindset of trying to get somewhere, a lot of things go downhill right quick. Now all of a sudden a conversation that was a critical moment of trying to make right decisions in an exciting and nervous attempt to have this girl like you enough to want to give you that amazing moment you're imagining with her becomes...oh we're talking about someone you know from work. Yeah. Great. I...kinda don't want to be here.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 10:36 AM
1

People don't seem to want to connect his mindset to why he got so many girls in the first place. A guy who would never do the negative things he did is also one who gets laid less than he did.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 10:24 AM
1

Really? I feel like besides the weights I lift at the gym, my male strength is mostly an antiquated skill no longer valuable in the modern world. It's quite rare an Amazon package comes that has an item weighing more than 20 pounds. Garbage pails aren't so heavy as to be impossible to drag to the curb. And so on. You only need me for exceptional circumstances.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 10:21 AM
2

My perspective is that I've always simply liked pretty girls. They make me smile. Attention from them makes one happy. I imagine laying in bad and turning my head and there's my girl sleeping soundly near my shoulder. It's an image of boy/girl affection out of songs from the 1960's and 70's, perhaps. Also, there's this default thing I hear from you and many women online, where it's "what would you two talk about?", and a deep concern over different maturity levels. First of all, on my end, the d…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 07:14 AM
1

She's pretty. I wouldn't have said she was mind blowing or anything. She's a little too porcelain doll for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 06:50 AM
1

If you tell me her name or link to her photos, I could tell you what I think. I'm trying to think of Asian woman who are above the fray for me, but most of them would have at least a slightly fuller figure.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 06:28 AM
2

I feel like the flipside of that is that pretty much what all men do is try to be impressive and say the right things so that women will want to be with them, or offer them what they think they might want. If I'm a tad better at that than when I was 18, then that's a good thing, but the circumstances still involve you trying to present yourself as someone they might want to be with. You put on your 'show', so to speak, and you see what comes from it. You might learn that there's such a thing as …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 06:16 AM
1

I thought the idea was they start a couple of years before 18 and then have sex with them when they turn 18. But I could be wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 05:47 AM
1

dammit beat me to it
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 05:46 AM
3

Well, I would walk 500 miles. And I would walk 500 more.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 05:46 AM
2

How does she stand out? There are a lot of rather attractive Korean girls, but they're all somewhat similar-looking and attractive in roughly the same way.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 05:45 AM
2

Places on the internet are awash with stories of young girls getting 'groomed' by older men in various places online and IRL. And they're talking about, say, 16yo girls. It's entirely possible there's a mass epidemic of this stuff going on that I'm not aware of, but it really confuses me. I would imagine a 16yo would be old enough to go "Him? Nah, not interested" and that would be the end of it. I don't know what magical skills or tricks are being practiced to render someone that old completely …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 05:42 AM
2

I'm not saying it's peak for women, I'm saying it's an age to stop aging at where you can still look good in your 'mature' form. There are very few women I know who went downhill that much by 35, and if they did it was because of kids and weight gain and not caring anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 04:30 AM
1

Reminds me of this
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 04:12 AM
3

I think we should offer boys ritualistic blowjobs from skilled women when they turn 13, kind of like a Bar Mitzvah thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 04:01 AM
2

It's not the virginity thing, it's that the people I knew in that time in my life are just more profound to me than people I meet later on. I could see growing old with a high school sweetheart, because it's her. If I'm meeting you at age 40, there's no such bond, and you already look 40, so it seems impossible to compare.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 03:59 AM
3

Also remember to not be at all grateful for past work or loyalty. The moment they stop performing to your standards, go with someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 03:57 AM
2

What if the tester is this guy?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 03:55 AM
3

In my imagined fantasy world, people would stop aging right around age 35. To me, that's kind of the perfect balance of health and ability and youth while having a bit of character and maturity to your face. Men and women both. Anyone disagree?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/22 03:53 AM
1

Thank you for confirming you're just someone with issues, and not someone I need to take seriously, or as any kind of representative of reasonable female thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 10:59 PM
2

I liked her sluttiness, tho. It was one of her best qualities.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 10:43 PM
1

Imagine if I told you a heavy-set woman at my job shyly and politely got the nerve up one day to approach me, and ask if, you know, maybe I won't mind having lunch with her some time? And I expressed, "Jesus Christ, can you believe that? Why would this fat ugly pig think I wanted anything to do with her? Of course, I just told her to go fuck herself and leave me alone. I mean, why should I give her more consideration than she gave me? Coming over and bothering me for five seconds with all her fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 10:39 PM
1

Well I imagine he doesn't have mind-reading abilities, so that's the first problem. I also can't help but wonder if you feel this way more with men you find unattractive. "Why does this guy think I want anything to do with him?" almost seems like you're trying to say, "You're not nearly hot enough to have a chance for a hookup with me, and I'm disgusted you even dared to go for it. Know your place." One, I don't date strangers. OK, but some people do. My sister went out with a guy who pulled up …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 10:28 PM
1

Alright so what I'm hearing is that every guy who approaches you, you immediately go to this place of, "Oh, you're drooling over my ass and want to stick your disgusting thing in me, well FUCK YOU!" Yeah, that's not healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 10:16 PM
1

Yes, I think it's a very basic social notion to not be a jerk to someone who politely came up to ask if you wanted to go to lunch. You still seem to think that guys who are doing that are doing something wrong. Why? What you're almost seem to be saying is that you can't handle basic social interactions, and that your incapability means you get to be a rude as you want to anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable. It's not their fault that you're uncomfortable, it has to do with what you've been th…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 10:11 PM
1

I think you must have misinterpreted what I said if you think I don't care. That fundamentally makes no sense, because what I'm hoping for, always, is that they're happy to have me talk to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 10:04 PM
1

How exactly is one to know that someone wants to be left alone?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 09:59 PM
1

So I'm a terrible person because I refuse to cry alone in my pillow until I die at 80 because taking a shot with a girl might make her briefly uncomfortable?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 09:55 PM
3

I knew a girl for years. She introduced herself by going "heeey", and giving me a close hug. She would sit on my lap at parties. We had a game where I would smack her ass, and she would pinch my nipple. She would say goodbye by running her finger down my arm. To be honest she wasn't the most attractive but as some point I said who cares we have serious chemistry so I sent her an invite to come over a weekend I would have the house to myself. She agrees, but cancels the night before. Unable to re…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 09:52 PM
1

Well you might start by recognizing that you desire to separate 'good guys' and 'bad guys' might be part of a protection instinct from millions of years of evolution, where it was important to quickly recognize threats and treat them as such. And maybe the reality is that the 'bad guys' are a minority of men who, yes, probably can't be reached and don't care to be. The MUCH BIGGER problem is ordinary men getting caught up in what I'm describing, and there's no reason that situation can't be impr…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 09:41 PM
1

It's a deadly cycle, like so many things are these days. People are shit to other people, who in turn are shit to others, etc. I'm not saying you specifically are making me do anything. I AM saying that the 'toxic masculinity' that so many women complain about did not arise out of the ether, but as in the Radicalizing the Romanceless link I posted in the OP, can be traced in big part to the reactions men were getting online from femosphere sources, who were thinking they were landing blows fight…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 09:35 PM
1

So you've had terrible experiences with men, and in response, you go online and stoke hostility and act in a way that might lead to other women having terrible experiences with men?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 09:28 PM
1

I'm just suggesting for the purposes of your interactions here, there are sympathetic approaches and ones that are less so. Even if your only goal is to win the argument, the more sympathetic way is probably the better way to go. It's also the one that will get you less hostility back. To ask it quite bluntly: What is the purpose or end goal of the stubborn mega-bitch routine? In a way, you come here, or wherever else you talk about this stuff, as a representative of the opinions and perspective…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/22 09:21 PM
1

I think you're leaving out something which is true for both men and women: That people who seem 'above' you seem attractive and desirable. You feel lucky to be with them, sometimes even when they treat you badly. Sometimes the treating you badly, or maybe just the being unimpressed or disappointed in you, actually reinforces their high-up status. I think there are mountains of actual real-world relationships with this dynamic that attest to the truth of it. What I feel like saying, is if that is…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/22 04:40 AM
1

Yeah I get that.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/22 07:00 AM
3

My brother lived in a trailer park at age 38 and had a hot 26yo girlfriend who drove him places and paid for things for him. And on the side he told me about how annoying she was and how she was shit in bed and how he was just looking for the right moment to break up with her and have her think it was her fault. But remember: Lonely sexless guys are just terrible people who are getting what they deserve.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/22 04:28 AM
1

People just can't wrap their heads around the fact that partner selection is discrimination, and has to be. "OMG, discrimination = bad, therefore I have to right this wrong!" But you CAN'T. This has been considered long ago. The only way to end this kind of discrimination is to make it so no one is ever allowed to turn down anyone else for sex. That's the Utopia idea. Barring that, you're just engaging in self-indulgent fantasies where everyone gets to be hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/22 04:22 AM
1

I just have to say, thinking about his exchange, the dominant thought is "Why the hell didn't she lead with that?" I look back at a few of the things I replied to you, and they DO seem a little heartless given what you're telling me here. But I was replying to the person I was presented with. I'm not saying I have never made this mistake either, I'm just think in the future your perspective might sell better with a different approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/22 04:08 AM
1

They are real, and no I'm not saying to the exclusion of others. I'm just trying to say feminism is not precisely equivalent to caring or not caring about women. FYI I have to go so no more replies for a while if you continue.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 08:18 PM
1

I'm not sure you do, particularly not in 2022. Maybe not in 1882 either. You could write a very detailed and touching and complex biography of an 1882 metal worker that only tangentially touched on class, and certainly wouldn't require grand pronouncements about how everything is about some kind of class struggle. And see, that's interesting, because the person who would use that worker's story as propaganda for Marxist ideas doesn't actually care about the metal worker. At least, not as much as…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 07:37 PM
1

Shut up and listen, absolutely. What valuable input could you possibly have on the topic of the subjective experience of being a woman? But you're not telling me what it's been like to be a woman, you're trying to sell an ideology. In this book you linked, there are so many loaded ideas that have zero to do with what it's like to be a woman. It's like saying I should read Karl Marx to learn what it's like to be a metal worker.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 07:15 PM
1

How am I shooting myself in the foot if those interactions were not going to lead anywhere? Again, I've been told both in words and from experience that it's foolish to engage in platonic chit chat as a means to something sexual. Never works.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 07:10 PM
1

It's not commendable to be sexist. Those men we were talking about did not go home and construct some rational basis for why women were inferior. I'm sure some guys have done that, but those guys were just having fun in a moment that made them feel better. I doubt they even realized it was a way of dealing for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 07:08 PM
2

Okay, that's not nothing. I'm...not all attractive women have this experience. It makes me wonder if you're exceptionally attractive, but I've known exceptionally attractive women who have not had this experience. I knew someone who got asked out all the time, had guys tell her she the kind of woman men fight wars over, had two women come up to her and ask if she could be their Goddess, etc. It wasn't this. I wish I could be fly on the wall when these things are happening to see what the dynamic…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 07:04 PM
1

Debating is not the same as rejecting. Of course I'm going to look for holes in the ideas to determine if they make sense to me or not. You seem to want some more like 'shut up and listen and blindly accept'. I AM browsing the book you linked me, and..."Feminists are made, not born." Holy shit balls. But really, so far this seems like a very remedial rundown of feminist ideas that I was already well aware of, dispersed with some amazingly loaded assumptions, and a wildly self-indulgent writing s…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 06:58 PM
1

Can you give me some numbers? How frequently do guys ask you out, about what fraction are hostile with you, how often do you get actual stalkers, etc?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 06:42 PM
1

Well I like suggested, a simple human story from the person I was talking to here would have gone a longer way toward a sympathetic concern than anything else. That's how people connect and come together. But you didn't want to do that. I wasn't looking for feminist reading recommendations.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 06:40 PM
1

I often like to talk about how my friends and I (college or a little older) used to tell the worst and most offensive or most 'wrong' jokes we can think of. This was mixed company. And we had a blast doing it, and I feel closer to those friends, including the black friends, because we shared that bonding experience. Construing that experience in the worst possible light, problematizing it, telling people it's not longer appropriate to let loose and bond that way, etc., has the effect of destroyi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 06:38 PM
2

So you're telling me you're neurotic and paranoid.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 06:34 PM
1

It's not like I'm spending hours a day on chit chat with dudes either (although obviously I spend excessive time debating people on reddit). I'm in a place where I care about the things I enjoy and feel like doing, and the things I want to accomplish, and don't feel I can afford to waste time on anything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 06:31 PM
1

From the intro, "Simply put, feminism is a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression." That's not the best start. That makes me think they're idiots, because you can't actually end any of those things. It's like saying you have a movement that is hoping to "end all war and human conflict." Lol, good luck with that. You're gonna change a fundamental core of human nature? How? The only way you get there is through some kind of wild dystopian method like mandatory drug taking, bra…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 06:28 PM
2

Well I'm still not getting at why you find it so damn uncomfortable to be asked out, to the degree that you think telling the people doing to fuck off is an equivalent salvo back.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 06:21 PM
1

I mean, unless it's for work, or we have something in common to chat about, or she's interesting in a good debate about social issues, it kinda is. I have a lot of "been there, done that" in my life regarding more platonic experiences, and I feel a bit done with a lot of it, and have no need to do more of it, unless it was a situation that was going to lead to a sexual relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 06:19 PM
1

An except form the Jr High school bus between two of my friends, regarding the OJ Simpson case (I'm old): 1: You hear they found her body it was like, decapitated? Crazy. 2: Well she did marry a ne-gro! 1: Yep. Deserves to die just for that! This is 13yo boys doing 'look how cool and edgy we are' shit. 2 also used to play fighting games with me, and have a move he called the 'Kike kick'. As in "Fucker. Now I'm going to get you with the Kike kick!" Another friend used to go on AOL chat rooms (aga…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 06:16 PM
1

It feels suspiciously like you're venturing to make the equivalent of the Critical Race Theory argument - IOW that misogyny or patriarchy or something like that is baked in to every institution and social norm and one must see it all as a social construct to be fought and eradicated. Is that where you're going with things?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 06:05 PM
2

What trauma does it unearth in you to just have a dude ask you to lunch or something? Why do need to go all mega bitch on it?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 06:01 PM
1

Well that makes it seem like the misguided elements of feminism are the bigger problem then, yes? And just let me say I think it's just a bit silly to hold the standard of caring about your feelings as requiring I take a deep dive into feminist ideology. I'm not going to make you listen to all the symphonies of Gustav Mahler as proof you care about things that are important to me. At most I wanted people to take the time to read a link I posted, or not. I assumed most wouldn't. And you personall…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 05:58 PM
2

Asking you out is NOT treating you poorly, that's absurd.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 05:53 PM
1

I wouldn't say other 'bigotries' don't ever get a pass, so to speak. I think people talk shit with friends in private, and that's fine. If I told you, for example, everything my teenage friends said when we were together, you'd probably think we were big problems. Nope, they all grew up to be perfectly decent people.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 05:52 PM
1

Well for my part, it has been made loud and clear to me that I should never, ever again engage women in conversation with an objective in mind. Never be nice and friendly because I'm hoping she'll fuck me. Try to be amenable to be seen a certain way. Spend time in platonic engagement so she has time to 'catch up' and maybe find familiarity or something in me she desires back. Nope, that's never to be done. So, that's kind of left me with "I could say something, but I know there wouldn't be a poi…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 05:49 PM
1

I think feminist academia has to realize that most of the actual effect is being perpetrated by all the people that many of them may want to denounce as 'not real feminists'. Great, but the 'not real feminists' are 99% of what people are hearing. This is a problem. A problem you should be more concerned about, if those people are truly misrepresenting you so much. Literally almost every time I talk about Red Pill, I start with something like "I don't agree with a lot of the things they say on RP…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 05:40 PM
2

That's a non-starter, because the result of that is to never find anyone to be with. Men have to take shots, other guys have already told you this.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 05:36 PM
1

The issue is that if you say something like, "I fucking hate them and wish they'd fucking die," that's not the 'truth', that's a venting of emotion. I've often struggled with the fact that sometimes I feel the need to say some really pissed off things, and getting them out really does cleanse me of it for a time. But the people I do that with will literally say, "But you said you feel this way." Well...I don't anymore, because I got to say it. Something guys do, or did before crackdowns and migh…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 05:32 PM
2

Yep. Yep yep yep.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 05:23 PM
2

I didn't say it like that, did I? I said, given that, how would you like me to act, and what would you like me to do then? It was a serious question.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 05:22 PM
1

My day doesn't ever bother me on a level anything remotely approaching things that have to do with my dick. I don't need to complain about my day. And that fact that the stuff she's complaining about seems so laughably small to me make me wonder if I'm the one with the bigger pain and issues really.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 05:20 PM
1

I don't doubt it, but I do think in general that community has to do better than washing their hands of the negative aspects of their creation. If you had continued to read that blog post, he would have talked about the propensity to No True Scotsman the worst acts of the feminist movement. Here's the quote: We will now perform an ancient and traditional Slate Star Codex ritual, where I point out something I don’t like about feminism, then everyone tells me in the comments that no feminist would…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 05:17 PM
3

Because my problems in these areas have absolutely wrecked and thrown me into despair on a level nothing else has, and instead of there being a proportional amount of sympathy or space for that to be dealt with in the world, there's almost nothing, except perhaps the sympathies of a male family member if I need to resort to that. Oh yeah, and because I was constantly told at my most vulnerable points what a terrible person I was for feeling this way, and basically exposed to a cruelty I think to…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 05:11 PM
1

Yeah, there's not nothing there. I wrote a thing about how men need outlets to get their women issues out, sometimes in really ugly or negative ways, and how that constant exposure and vilifying of everything has made that difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 05:07 PM
1

I'm willing to go both ways, let me put it like that. If women accept that my end of it sucks, then I can accept their end of it sucks. It's the thing where men are the oppressive enemy to all that is good and we don't have real problems when compared to women that throws that out of possibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 05:05 PM
1

"I almost feel sometimes that, like, no one even notices I exist." Say that, and you've got my attention. Use me to complain about Jan from work, and it seems like something else. And again, it's hard not to know that I've got a dozen things I wish I could go on and on about, but I don't get to do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 05:03 PM
1

OK, so if you agree it's silly, what did he not understand? I thought the way he presented it made the point he was going for quite well. This is yet another thing you're being real vague about claiming someone doesn't understand, but you're not getting into what you understand that others don't. You get how that starts to smell like bullshit, yes?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 04:55 PM
1

I'm sorry, but the modern social justice movement very much IS a bunch of silly idealists doing tons of damage under the guise of compassion. Or...I'd say that's 95% of it. 5% of it is people doing some actual grunt work to get important legislation passed and actually reforms that will actually help people instead of complaining about how society is a massive white patriarchy and everything is oppression.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 04:46 PM
2

OK, well I'm sorry to hear that. Some men do go the pity route. This brings me back to what I originally asked, which is what do you want men to do? Keep in mind 'just don't bother me' is NOT an answer. If you want more sympathy for how annoying it is to constantly deal with this stuff, I get that. I think a go-to analogy you could try is to ask men how annoying and unbearable it is to constantly feel like every woman just wants them for their money. A lot of men have good (IOW bad) experiences …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 04:43 PM
1

Oh, you stopped REAL early on. This is satire, yes? Think how ridiculous this seems, and how utterly cruel and heartless it would be to say this, and what kind of blindly absurd, delusional idealism one would have to be operating under to say this, indeed while even thinking of themselves as a champion of compassion, and then...yeah. What you seem to be telling me is that you stopped reading when he made a point you didn't like, and that hit too close to home.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 04:36 PM
1

He doesn't literally use the term bootlicking that I see, so I'm trying of think of where he conflates social justice with sycophancy...I don't think he generally does that. I think he treats feminist social justice forums more like a cult of thought, or a mean girls club operating under the guise of compassion.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 04:14 PM
1

Cool. What did you think of the Radicalizing the Romanceless blog?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 04:05 PM
1

Honestly, I don't know if I've been led to water. I'm suspecting I've been led to a feminist mirage in the desert where no real water is to be found. If you have a desire to advocate for your point of view and convince me otherwise, you have to do that. I can't imagine taking your approach here with anything on my end, unless I was full of shit, or deluded with some quasi-religious notions of the profundity of my perspective. Here's a question: Did you read any of the things I linked to in the O…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 04:01 PM
1

And yet you yourself wouldn't be comfortable getting slapped in the ass by your dominant male boss. I'd ask him what the fuck he was doing. Then I'd tell him yeah sorry dude, not interested. Then if he kept it up I'd gently inform him that the next time he did it his head was going through the nearest wall. Pretty simple. And yes, I'm not a tiny man, and obviously not a tiny woman, but I do believe there is some "Not the size of the dog that barks, but the size of the bark in the dog" to this. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 03:44 PM
1

"The magic of Jazz is between the notes, feel it." Come on now, there's no mystical enlightenment I must ascend a hill near a pond and contemplate my inner feminist to understand here. It's just a quote to interpret, and you have an interpretation, but you don't want to tell me what it is. If you can't explain well enough what you see there, that's on you, not for me to uncover through visits to a feminist shrine or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 03:34 PM
1

Is there a reason why you won't just tell me what you think it means? This isn't a game show.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 02:52 PM
1

So are you saying it's a pressure women put on themselves to conform to male fantasy?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 02:48 PM
3

I reject the idea of the permanent box of desirability status. At least, I have to in terms of myself. Some woman who wants to tell me I'm just this kind of guy or that kind of guy...you have no fucking idea what I'm capable of. My personality does not have one level of depth, and I'm not restricted to one imagined mode of being. The guy described in the quote sounds like a guy who the woman thinks is incapable of anything more than what he shows in those moments. And who knows, maybe that guy i…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 02:32 PM
1

Yeah that actually makes it worse right? Because there are consequences when trying to remove yourself form tbe situation. It's fine for her because she's into her boss and her boyfriend is a cuck but for most people this would be a shitty situation I'm forced to compare the horror story painted by you and other women on PPD with my knowledge of how real-world people I know feel and handle things. I don't get the nightmare scenario fear nearly as much from real world people. And yet you can't ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 02:25 PM
1

Well I don't think he was a 'random dude' to her, I think he was her coworker who she spent a ton of time around. A heterosexual man getting spanked by a man is no different than a woman getting spanked by a man who she is not sexually attracted to. I think that's wrong in several ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 02:03 PM
0

and men will at least not agree to participate while still leering at any women who puts on their team's basketball jersey and saying "wow she's so cool, why can't you like cool things like she does?" I feel like your boyfriend used to do this to you or something. And yes I can certainly see how it would suck to have your SO say 'why can't you be cool like her.' But I'm not seeing this as like a widespread thing that keeps women down. That's new to me. If anything, I think men might just get exc…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 01:59 PM
2

Some people have shitty, remedial music appreciation. No one can know everything, but yes, I do think people have some responsibility toward culture and appreciation. If the depth of your classical music knowledge and appreciation is "Oh, that's like that movie song, it go boom. Do you know any Taylor Swift?", and you're older than a child, it's entirely correct of you to be ashamed of yourself. Or at the very least, you should appreciate and defer to your superiors on the matter. I had a friend…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 01:45 PM
3

It just seems so thick, and intellectually dishonest, to take the quote I gave in the OP and boil it down to 'OMG you mention violence on women therefore bad'. Maybe a better understanding of what drives men to violence against women might put us in a position to have less violence against women? Why is "Huh, I never thought of it that way. Wow, that gives me new insight into why some men do those things, and in general a better understanding of gender dynamics. I'm now just a bit more equipped …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 01:32 PM
1

Would you enjoy it if your boss was a aggressive gay dude spanking you regularily? How is that equivalent if they are both heterosexual? Just because you want to touch people in a sexual manner doesn't mean they have to let you touch them or else they aren't "fun". I didn't say that at all. I did say that my real-world experience is that my peer group feels way less prude than the women who choose to opine on PPD.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 01:19 PM
1

Whoever said it was supposed to be easy, finding a partner with whom to share a whole life? OK, think on a macro level here. This approach basically says only maybe 20% of heterosexual men and women are going to find partners that are compatible in a way that allows for the kind of relationship you find acceptable. What are the other 80% supposed to do? Think of two bell curves, and realize you're saying only the people who exist where the bell curves cross get to get married. There's no feasibl…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 01:15 PM
1

I'm not especially young, but I suppose I've preserved some stubborness about such things. It's just wrong, dammit! People should appreciate me for this and not that, and if they don't, people deserve nothing but contempt. The only way around that I could possibly see is if I'm doing the things I hate to attract women with the intent of fucking them over in the end, but do we really want to go there?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 12:33 PM
3

The point is that anal prolapse is painful and unnatural. I know it's not your point, but using the right lube that really shouldn't happen. Do you think men don't twist themselves into pretzels to try and be what women want? Are you kidding? Some men base their entire lives and career trajectories on trying to get women. They work themselves to death. They inject steroids into their asses and shorten their lifespan. The standard fare of most of 20th century society was that men were expendable …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 12:24 PM
2

Hmm...well that's a mixed bag, because I'm that kind of person who is both ego and forever impossibly hard on himself. Part of me feels like I should be fucking amazing at fucking everything, have muscles like the cover of a Manowar album, be worth $100 million, and be working on my 6th Oscar-winning film while planning my future presidential run, and anything less is me failing pathetically and not deserving anything. On the flipside, I get disgusted because I feel like I demonstrate high-end q…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 12:01 PM
5

yeah go for it I'll take a look
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 11:53 AM
8

After reading through this thread a bit and seeing the blatantly dismissive comments by women, it reminded me of this excerpt from a feminist named Mary Koss. All serious science begins with Maya Angelou quotes. Also, you wrote a book?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 11:34 AM
3

It’s almost like tourists in a 3rd world country complaining about locals constantly trying to sell them shit… I'm gonna remember this line. Now I’m abundant in female attention, I avoid eye contact, I don’t want to feel obliged to say Hi. OK now, you didn't mention this without wanting to be asked about how you achieved that.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 11:30 AM
1

I dunno if I can go along with this one. My first thought is that humans are social creatures and shaped by social norms, and it doesn't make sense to paint someone as 'fake' or 'real' in absolute terms like this. Some people are highly sociable and agreeable, and when with a group of people who love chili dogs, they might get into chili dogs more. Women tend to be more like this than men. That doesn't mean they are 'fake'. I can easily point to ways I'm like that myself. I like classical music,…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 11:28 AM
1

I'm continuing to engage with you, but I really have to point out how absolutely unhelpful you are being in just about everything. This is not remotely how I ever thought of women, and the fact that you think so shows how deeply you don't get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 11:17 AM
0

I think that's a tad naive on your part. What you think you detect is likely a very basic primal 'vibes' thing that is deeply imperfect for modern psychological analysis. You could argue women possibly have some kind of base threat detection software, which was good because they needed to have protective instincts for their children and tribe, but saying that's a perfect tool is like saying feelings never get anything wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 11:13 AM
1

Please explain to me how you both claim to be the moral high ground here and also are going "Guys who aren't you I let my hot girlfriends fuck so nyahhhh!" Also, you can't both say that women are human and also claim that you have magical X-ray women perception into the goodness of all the men you hang out with. You don't. Just the fact that you would separate men into good and bad batches tells me you understand nothing about humanity.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 09:32 AM
3

Well like a lot of guys you'll listen to here, I come from the experience of having tons of women once upon a time tell me how wonderful I was, and how sweet and good-hearted and yada yada, and then having the experience of them going to fuck guys other than me. The sad reality is that I have a far better track record with women I didn't treat well, either inadvertently or otherwise. Girl I was totally oblivious to in college, who I treated like she barely existed? Into me. Another girl who I te…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 09:25 AM
18

in order to prove how men had it way easier than women I don't think she had that agenda, I think she just wanted to try it and see what it was.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 09:16 AM
2

Are you suggesting your sexual desire for people is based in only the most pure and virtuous of things?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 09:13 AM
7

The radicalizaing the romanceless link in the OP said it best: Men who complain about these things aren't looking for magical solutions, they're just looking for people to acknowledge their pain, and treat them like a human friggin' being for 5 seconds. "Yeah, it sucks, I know. What can you do. Keep the faith, alright?" - is that so hard? I've literally found the middle ground at times: I dare to express myself and my pain honestly to a woman, and instead of being told I'm a horrible human who h…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 08:30 AM
7

Except you aren't starving. You aren't going to drop dead from lack of sex. Not yet. It does make me feel like killing myself from time to time, though. Plus, you already stated you don't care about how women feel. So why should women care about how you feel? Even my original OP made it a point to mention how I DIDN'T want this to be a women are wrong thread, but that I wanted to hear female perspectives that gave me insight I haven't had before. Yes, I strongly advocate for my feelings and how …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 08:11 AM
9

I think the disconnect here is that you still continue to see the desires of men as a moral failing, or as disgusting, to some degree. Almost like you're saying "Alright, you get to be shitty humans, but then don't complain when I'm shitty to you back." But what you're still not seeing is that these guys are not trying to be shitty humans, they're just pursuing things they feel they need and that might be profound and wonderful things for them. I'm sorry men often find those things in some kind …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 08:03 AM
2

I find life is about the high points. If I had a list of the top moments of my life, they all involve a party atmosphere, a crowd like at a rock concert (which either me watching or on stage), or something sexual with women. There's even a night that makes the top 10 that involves a young me just thinking he was going to hook up with a girl that night. The whole night felt magical, like "wow, this is actually going to happen. I'm actually going to get to do that stuff I imagined doing." It didn'…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 07:42 AM
4

Yes, I get the quote, or else I think I do. If there's elements you think I'm not getting, please explain what you think they are. If you understand my perspective, then answer me this: What would you do if you were me?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 07:33 AM
4

I mean, I don't get why some people want to dress up as clowns and fuck after putting banana cream pies in each other's faces, but I know it's a thing. I don't have to get it to understand people have their things. It seems so gigantically clear if you've paid attention at all to history or art or anything really that men like pretty girls in the prime of their lives and at child-bearing capability and see those as the most sexually desirable. Or that men will even go to war over feminine beauty…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 07:23 AM
3

Well give me an example of what a man who understands says and does, because I still have no idea what you really want here. My tangents are attempts to get you to understand my perspective. I don't think it makes all that much sense to say that if I understood your perspective, I wouldn't want you to understand mine. And I DO want to understand what you're really getting at here. OK, so women have difficulty in life with men objectifying them and constantly putting pressure on them to be their …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 07:08 AM
3

Do you find being super-serious is the only way to get things done? Because I don't think that's true at all, certainly not for everyone. Light-hearted workplaces where people feel relaxed and free to have fun can often be more productive. Just curious, what field are you in that you enjoy so much? Also, what motivates you to want to excel - what do you see as the reward you're aiming for?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 07:04 AM
5

How do you think I would I behave differently if I understood? I mean, we're not talking about some sort of scenario where men go around apologizing for being male and having dirty thoughts all the time, right? I don't think that's what most women want, and that most women would find that a turn off as well. That's actually a complication you're not considering: Men who have higher testosterone, are greater risk takers, are more aggressive and callous, etc, actually do better with women. The top…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 07:01 AM
6

Well then I think we have to find a way to reconcile how these things happen with how 'icky' or whatnot it strikes you. I mean, in a way, I think all sexual desire is creepy. If asexual aliens came to Earth and learned the shit we do with each other, I imagine them slowly backing up into their space ship and regretting their visit. What makes it OK is if someone else has the same pervy ideas that you do, and then you get to be pervs together and enjoy it, and there's really no other standard for…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 06:51 AM
11

Yep. I often feel like young girls who recite the virtues they've been taught are eternally expecting to get a proverbial cookie for being good, and that's what gives them the most satisfaction of having done right.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 06:47 AM
4

She was half my age. And yes, people are free to react how they like. But I feel like my experience and expression of this should clearly lead people away from the standard trope that goes around, where all men who desire younger women are these hand-wringing evildoers looking to groom and manipulate those helpless young souls with their massive coercive power. I was just hoping some cute girl would want to smile at me and take her clothes of for me, because that would have been a really big dea…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 06:44 AM
1

I think I do, but I'm more asking how you want me to proceed. For example, when I was 17, I was at a party where a gorgeous blonde I thought I had no shot with showed the world to me. She was all over me, pulled down her pants and bent over in front of me, first time I'd seen these things IRL, and gave me one of the best nights of my life. I know she didn't do that 'for me', but I'll forever be grateful for her for doing that. That memory is a big highlight, I wish I had 100 similar ones. By con…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 06:39 AM
3

And that's fine. I just don't like the idea of people who feel like you claiming your way is the only acceptable way to be, which is what I kinda see happening a bit in society. I wrote this poem not that long ago, and while I'm sure it's not award-winning material, I think it captures the misery people like me or older (my sister is Gen X, and she said she really related to this poem) are feeling with the new order or things. It's just...so restrictive and oppressive, and no fun at all. I'd muc…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 06:28 AM
7

You should really learn how to find fulfillment and meaning within yourself. That's like saying someone who is starving should really find nourishment in things other than food. It's so very clear to me in retrospect how deeply unhealthy it has been for me to go without sex and female contact for long periods of time. I really needed to get laid around once a month to be fully happy and healthy. I promise you there is no solution beyond that actual non-platonic contact with the opposite sex. I w…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 06:20 AM
3

I don't think there's any problem telling you I'm talking about a veterinarian and a nurse's aid (or whatever you call the nurse's aid position in an animal hospital). This isn't where I work, it's where a friend works.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 06:03 AM
14

Again, I think it's more about how society treats women through male perspective. It would be nice if girls weren't taught that their appearance is the most important thing they have or that they're responsible for men having sexual fantasies about them. Also that our value, our whole existence should rotate around men or a man. ARE they taught that, though? This is one of those things in modern society where the reactionary measures are so intense to bring things back in the other direction tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 05:58 AM
7

Oh Jesus, that almost gave me PTSD.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 05:31 AM
4

I didn't mean the last paragraph as a threat or something, I just meant to point out this is what seems to happen in societies, therefore the idea that we can just let men rot so to speak isn't going to work out well for anyone. Men and women have to live together somehow, and that has to involve compromise. Honestly, when I hear your perspective on work, I kinda think to myself that you sound like someone who is just no fun; at least fun to the standards of myself and my peers. To contrast: I h…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 05:29 AM
10

Well tell me if you think I'm wrong, but I'm imagining the 'pain' of rejecting a guy at a party to be something along the lines of a 3/10, and my needs that throw me into near-suicidal despair at times to be something along the lines of a 9.5/10. A 'yes' on behalf of that girl at that party, leading to something approaching that moment I described, is potentially one of the best things to ever happen to me in my entire life. I suppose if you have to reject 10 guys a day, that can get really anno…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 05:12 AM
18

Well again it's kind of a throw my hands up situation, because I can't tell you I don't like pretty girls, and that female beauty doesn't carry massive power to me. It does, and forever will. I can control how I approach that, but I can't possibly justify locking myself in a room to tears for the rest of my life because pursuit of joy for me might be not what you want it to be for me. It seems to me that perfect can be the enemy of good. We're never completely getting rid of this stuff, but we c…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 05:02 AM
22

sigh I think we're doomed if we forever must invalidate emotions that I'm trying to describe to you as absolutely vital and deeply important to me as "just an ego boost". Your pain is real, and mine is imagined? Yours is reflective of some deep societal wrong, but mine is dismissable?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 04:55 AM
5

I'm someone who deals with deep regrets of cowardice and not taking shots earlier in life. It was a terrible mistake. Life is short, you only meet a finite number of people, and you only get a finite amount of opportunities. You're an utter fool on some level if you don't make the absolute best out of every single one of those opportunities. I still remember a few waitresses or store workers I encountered who struck me hard enough that they got caught in my brain, and in retrospect is seems like…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 04:44 AM
0

Oh dear, I wish I could say my experience doesn't reflect this as being true, but... I suppose to be fair, there are times where I'm looking for conflict as well. I never knew how to work with that fact that the argument I fell into with a feminist on a dating site made me want to bang her way more than the dull smalltalk conversation with the relatively agreeable other girl I was talking to at the same time.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 04:31 AM
2

It's so sad to me that we have to take this heartbreaking song that captures a common human experience and label it as essentially a song only irredeemable male losers could or should relate to, AKA an 'incel song'. How does that improve anything?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 04:28 AM
3

No, go for it. Honestly, I suppose I was thinking the male/female disconnects are what create so much of our issues, and that gay people might have things they have to deal with, but less so that stuff. But you tell me.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 04:16 AM
20

That's interesting. The question I want to ask from such things is something like "well, what do you want from me, then?" I can't make my fantasies not a big deal to me, they're going to be a big deal regardless. If you want me to regard you for other things, do you want the truth about those things? It reminds me of a female reporter who wrote an article about how her first day reporting on Capital Hill, 3 different men came on to her. And she expressed a wish to be valued for how good a report…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 04:12 AM
2

I have stuff I want to complain about, but it usually has to do with existential fears or hopelessnes or the utter despair of profound loneliness or what not. And that shit sure bothers me...but I sure as fuck don't bother my clients about it. I'm even careful not to overindulge in that with family, and in general I always have my antenna out for when I'm losing someone and they're disinterested in what I'm saying. So, when I hear some feel like they just have to mention how horrible, horrible i…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 03:47 AM
3

Can someone female explain to me the phenomenon of women indulging in venting about the most minute, mind-numbing things to men they have opportunity to do so with? I've experienced this even in situations where it's so obviously inappropriate and over-indulgent, like in work-related situations, or from clients. Like recently someone I was working with as a tutor would just spend the first 15 minutes of our sessions launching into her woes of the day in the most indulgent, seemingly tone-deaf ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/22 03:38 AM
2

I enjoy cooking too, but I also find it clear that men get frustrated and affected by their dealings with women, and find an outlet for that helpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 05:48 AM
12

Do we need to give people better outlets to deal with their issues with the opposite gender? From the guy perspective, it seems like we've vilified guys doing this in their own little corner of the world or internet, because that's misogyny, or it 'normalizes' certain thinking, that it's difficult to have an old-fashioned thing where men can just make themselves feel a little better together by doing that, and then go back out into the world with less of a chip on their shoulder. Especially sinc…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 05:25 AM
4

Men and women kill each other's faith in each other. I've been thinking a little about faith, not as much pray-to-Jesus faith, but things like how you have to believe in something in order to get on with your life and so on, and I realized this: What I'm really hearing from so many people on here and elsewhere, is some version of 'My experiences with men/women killed my faith.' For women, it's some version of, "I had faith in the personal bonds I had with him, and that I could trust him to be lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/22 03:29 AM
1

I do it because I want to look good, and 'look good' is something along the lines of my standard for what I want to look like. Of course the reality of working out is that most people don't see huge transformations unless they take steroids or have a ton of weight to lose. I'm ever closer to hitting that 400lb deadlift, but working on that hasn't changed my appearance all that much. I feel better, but I look roughly the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/22 12:08 AM
1

Meh. I'd like to mix it up and worship her sometimes too.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/22 12:06 AM
2

So there's a lot here that I don't know how to respond to, because it doesn't have anything to do with what I think and I can't defend people who do think that. But there are other things I do understand. For example, take slut shaming. Why slut shaming? I think it starts from the fact that men see in attractive women a feminine ideal that they want to be worthy of, and the idealized nature of that means they want her approval to be gained through high-minded things. When that same woman says, "…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 11:59 PM
1

Not a woman, but it's so very clear to me that it's a fundamental issue that men and women tend toward different priorities, and especially when you drop everyone in a social media bucket, it's really hard for a lot of people to find someone of the opposite sex that's going to give them what they want. It's just a difference in interest. From there, there's some subset of people who are convinced that women's preferences are enlightened, and men's preferences are gross and suck and make them hor…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 11:24 PM
1

I think sometimes people need to bitch about their woes, and that doesn't have to equal misogyny. I think it's the "I have woes" being met with "Well that's because women took a good look at you and saw into your soul and determined you were a terrible person who deserves no love and congrats you're going to die alone fuck you you patriarchal pig" and actually starts to drive those men into misogyny. All RP then does is go, "Yep, I know how it is. Here's some convincing-sounding answers to make …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/22 11:13 PM
–

I hit a new sexual milestone today, everyone. Today I actually tipped a cam girl money. Never bothered doing that, but I really wanted to see something she wasn't showing and didn't want to sit around waiting, so I thought "fuck it I got the money". The way she perked up to suddenly respond to the tip and do what I wanted was...kinda sad, actually.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/22 12:33 AM
1

...yeah I was gonna say something but no forget it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/22 12:29 AM
–

I find most people look entirely normal and fine, but I'm sure there's a bias that people who look decent are more likely to post photos.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/22 11:47 PM
–

I barely even notice people's names on Reddit, let alone be aware they have multiple accounts. How do you know about this person?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/22 11:42 PM
2

I was looking at some facebook photos of people I want to high school with. I'm 40, so they're 40 as well. One girl I was looking at I was almost trying convince myself I would be still into her. 'Yeah...she looks the same. Pretty much.' Then I scrolled back to photos of her from about 10 years ago, and literally went "Oh WOW" out loud. She was SO desirable at 30. She looked young, she looked fun, she looked great. It quite clear to me that I'm in trouble, because unless something changes, every…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/22 11:31 PM
1

I think some people get insanely obsessive about 'power' these days. There's a whole realm of thinking that wants to construe every human interaction in terms of power differentials between groups, and it's loony. I prefer to think of it as the fact that you meet a finite number of people in your life, and time has shown me the colossal error of leaving even one of those stones unturned, never to discover the potential underneath. So, a boss and his secretary working late one night, the mood hit…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 08:55 PM
1

See, to me, it's perfectly understandable that something like that happened. It's just human. Sure, you gotta be careful, things can always go wrong, but what this thread has made so clear to me is what utter fools we are for thinking it makes sense to rigidly moralize human sexual interaction, because it's just not black and white like that. Even actual scientific studies of these things have revealed basically that "it depends" - some people have wild crazy experiences when young and never reg…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 08:39 PM
3

I think that was very much the 80's, and I don't think that happens nearly as much now. You'd be amazed just how little some in the younger generation has done and experienced. I think it's actually pretty tragic. My sister was a child of the 80's, and as you imply, in HS she was going to parties and drinking and doing cocaine and hooking up with the cop who came to shut the party down. Her daughter is now 20, and she's never tasted alcohol, never kissed a boy, and is too scared to drive a car. …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 08:08 PM
1

I'm 40, and I wouldn't say I 'know what I'm doing' in a grand sense. It's a trope that you discover in life that most people really are winging it. In fact a lot of less-intelligent people go through their whole lives basing what to do on a few simplistic tropes they were taught without really thinking them through for themselves. The idea that 30-year-olds have a complete handle on everything seems silly from where I'm sitting. Just thinking about some women I've interacted with recently, there…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 08:00 PM
1

I dunno. Maybe there are people out there with the skill set to do that, but for me there's no sense that I would be able to masterfully guide even a high schooler into sleeping with me, so it's hard for me to imagine this one-sided thing where some super-skilled adult has the whatever teen they're preying upon in the palm of their hand, and the teen is pure helpless victim is no idea what is going on. I just think of people as having their own desires I have little control over. Most of the sto…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 07:20 PM
1

The more stories I continue to read on here, the more I feel like the way we approach this is kinda ignorant and fucked.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 05:36 PM
3

I was involved in music, so I can't say that's at all true there. Plenty of good female musicians.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 04:46 PM
1

I think there's a ton of grey. People aren't machines. I hear others echo sentiments you do here, with regard to high school and also the world at large, kind of like, "Well clearly jobs are where you go to work, and adults should know it is not appropriate to do non-work things there, or engage in inappropriate banter with coworkers..." and all I do is think, "Oh my God, you are the most boring fucking people I can possibly imagine, and the loveless hell of machine-like interaction you seem to …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 03:37 PM
1

I've never taught in a high school, and I don't know what the rules around here are, but it seems to be once someone is both 18 and no longer going to that high school, what they get up to should be none of the high school's business. If a teacher is fucking a dozen former students outside of their work hours, that's their private life and I don't see how the school should have any say in that.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 03:26 PM
3

The vastness of experiences in this thread is fascinating to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 03:24 PM
2

Well first of all, just the word 'pretty' can be a lot of things. You have a pet bird that's 'pretty', or an 8yo girl can be 'pretty'. As far as pretty in terms of feminine beauty, my experience is that when girls go through puberty, you start to see the women starting to emerge, and it can be a beautiful thing. They're not all the way there yet, but the change from girl to women does have something magical about it. Film critic Roger Ebert, who must have been in his 50s at the time, once descri…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 03:19 PM
2

Sounds like you're probably rather pretty.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 02:37 PM
3

It's interesting how you put that. Why would you rely on what someone tells you is right or wrong with regard to who you want to be with, rather than your own feelings about who you want to be with? I'm not saying an actual relationship would have been ideal at that age, but teenage crushes are incredibly normal, and it almost bothers me to imagine someone telling teens "feeling that way is wrong, stop it," and doubly so that the teens would just accept that without thinking for themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/21 02:24 PM
4

I was watching some old Benny Hill clips. For those who don't know, he did comedy skits like this one. Watching, I'm just stuck again by how much common sense and basic understanding of men and women we've lost. Here's a dude who is middle age or looks it, and he's scheming to pick up pretty young girls in a manner that suggests he doesn't even begin to understand women as people. Obviously his character is the fool, but it's amazing how we've turned things like this from "Haha yep, Benny you ho…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/21 01:20 PM
3

News flash: Many men try their best to say the right things so women will want to be with them and have sex with them. Some men get better at this as they get older. Film at 11. To me it's clear a 31yo guy is likely just doing what he did his entire life: Be attracted to attractive women, and try to get with them. Because his age used to be a similar number to the women he desired, no one had an issue. Maybe he did poorly at it when he was that age. Now he's older, better at it, and possibly hop…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/21 12:59 PM
2

Here's a question: Is knowing the 'truth' actually making any of you any happier? Like, all this information about how dating and men and women and all that 'really are' - does it make you more enthused to go out dating and interacting with people, or less? Is it making your attitudes toward other humans more positive, or more negative? Is the truth setting you free, or bumming you out?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/21 05:01 AM
2

No one gets to rob you, but you can definitely start to feel bad for the poor people who have to see that every day of their lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/21 04:32 AM
3

I would have agreed with you once upon a time, but now I think some of those men are too neck-deep in their anal tentacle porn addiction to get it up for their female friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/21 04:30 AM
4

You have to be careful, because if you think something is right, you look for confirmation everywhere, but it's funny how moments of my life seem to keep reinforcing certain notions. I thought a girl I was dealing with was being a little indulgent and entitled with how she was dealing with me, so I put my foot down in a text. Not angrily, just 'I understand, but doing it that way doesn't work for me. We need to do it this way.' After a brief conversation where I was just indulging her not at all…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/21 10:29 PM
1

Men have always been willing to put in effort to get women, but I think there's a resistance to being a sucker these days. Not only do those efforts not work, not only does it feel super unfair in the age where everyone is screaming equality at the top of their lungs, but if you DO do those things expecting something in return, that makes you a horrible person. Plus, men figured out that being a guy who is unwilling to do that can make them seem higher up and more desirable. So, it starts to see…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/21 11:42 AM
2

I've been in love before. It wasn't a thing you could define with "oh we have a lot in common and I think she's a great person yada yada" It was, in my mind, deeper than all that. Like some force meant us to be together. It didn't work out, but honestly, I see pictures of her now, and see those eyes, and it still feels that way. It makes me feel like some medieval notion of love is naturally more my speed, but you never see that able to exist in modern life.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/21 11:31 AM
4

Pretty much every woman that has been into me, it was because I treated them terribly. Mostly inadvertently. There was a girl in college who I was oblivious to. I basically ignored her and treated her like she didn't exist, because really she was legit miles off my radar. She got into me. There was another girl who I would tease constantly. I would make jokes about her being flat-chested. She actually pretended to be someone else online and engaged me in online conversation, culminating in sexti…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/21 11:01 AM
2

I suppose that makes it challenging, but I'm not jumping out a window just yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/21 02:37 AM
1

I find the process of talking to a mental health professional to grant temporary relief but not actually solve anything. That's been true of anyone I've seen for any reason over the years. So, yeah, I should probably go to one to feel a little better, but I don't see it as a path to solving any of my problems. The only thing that really solves my problems is progress and success.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/21 02:34 AM
2

Well I suppose if in some way they're now spirits capable of seeing how I feel and have felt in my life, I imagine they'd fully support me in standing up for myself and all the time I was suffering and being told I didn't have 'real problems'. I think you could also say I've found that the experience of losing someone is kind of affirming of what they meant to you. Something you can shed tears about is better than something that leaves you a void. Sad isn't the worst, empty is.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/21 02:19 AM
3

The point is that, if you count periods of time where you aren't having sex as among the most stressful and traumatic of your life (and specifically for that reason) then you've lived a rather privileged life. 4 years ago my brother died suddenly. 1 year ago I lost another one. The collective experience of the years of pain, rejection, loneliness, sexlessness, missing out on major elements of my life I can never get back, and then on top of that being told I was effectively a terrible person for…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/21 02:06 AM
1

There are ways in which it's in women's own best interests to be concerned if the men they interact with in the world are mentally healthy and pleasant to be around. Not giving a shit only works if you don't have to share the world with men, and you do. I'm not suggesting sexual charity, just that some degree of understanding might be useful, and might even help them negotiate their relations with men better.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/21 01:57 AM
4

Looking back at the large sexless portions of my life, it's so very clear how, first of all, unhealthy it was for me. My mental health really did suffer majorly from being a horny guy constantly frustrated, and from having no physical intimate contact with people. Really, the depression and stress of many years of that probably took some amount of time off of my future lifespan. It also probably made me less pleasant to be around than I could have been. A me that was getting laid regularly was a…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/21 01:47 AM
0

I think the mistake might be in thinking this tells the whole story. Tendencies over large groups do not encapsulate everything going on between two people. You can't think "oh, I'm this and this, so according to the study, exactly this will happen to me, and exactly that is what I'm going to wind up doing." That's like saying you must go to medical school because you read a study that showed the most popular thing for people with your brain and grades is to go to medical school.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/21 12:51 AM
1

You most definitely might, but as 'issues' go, that's pretty tame. I'd have more concern dating someone who was diabetic even.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/21 11:05 AM
2

Your incredulity to the idea that someone could want to have sex with someone after seeing a picture of them suggested otherwise, which is why people are responding that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/21 10:15 AM
-1

It's not gender-specific. And like I said, it's advanced, but no it's not impossible. It's the same as "I'm going to fuck you now, and I'm not going to stop until you cum." If you can make that promise convincingly, it will absolutely have an effect on how the other person reacts. Plus, sex is a conversation. If you're in tune with the other person, you're feeding off of what they give you. You seem to be assuming disinterest in the man's conversation at all times, which is kinda sad.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/21 10:14 AM
1

It's difficult for me to fathom what sexless people are getting out of couplings. Sure, we all need friends, but a relationship is specifically a sex-based thing. It's kinda the main point. But hey, different strokes for different folks. What I DO especially dislike are those who seem to want and make it a social justice thing to quest for their perspective to be the only acceptable one. You can't convince me every girl I see on the internet enthusiastically shoving things in their holes is doin…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/21 10:06 AM
2

I have this theory about desire and seduction that's been going around in my head, and I just felt like sharing it: First of all, it seems to me that, on some level, people want to be seduced. We all want to feel good, and we all want someone to free us of our hangups, worries, inhibitions, etc. in a way we can't do for ourselves. Life is stressful, and arduous, and full of worries, and we all desire a break from that a whole lot of the time. Humans are social creatures. We empathize, and natura…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/21 07:23 AM
1

Something tricky I've realized is that the way out is through. What I mean by that is I need to be able to say the stuff I have a feeling isn't going to go over well, and have it accepted, and then I don't feel that way as much. You can't connect with people if you feel like being honest with them is going to result in them telling you what a horrible human you are and then leaving you. So part of the issue is that has to not be true. The classic notion is that men knew not to say things that wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/21 06:56 AM
1

Whole
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/21 06:17 AM
0

Are you just talking about antidepressants? Or anti-anxiety medication? Tons of people are on that stuff, I wouldn't look at them as 'issue people'.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/21 06:17 AM
2

Sure everyone wants everything they want, but the disconnect for me is when women want a guy who will do, do, do for them. Spend his life making money for them, constantly cater to them, put up with their shit...guys don't enjoy doing that, for the most part, so one has to ask what the motivation would be on his side to do all that. I mean, I want lots of sexual experiences with attractive women, but at no point am I thinking of a scenario where women service me with blowjobs whenever I want, un…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/21 05:59 AM
8

How could I know if I want to have sex with someone based solely on my seeing a picture of them? This is a hilarious statement as a guy. I literally do this almost every day.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/21 05:46 AM
3

Wow is the main feed on this subreddit depressing at times. Yes, things are not super easy, but are they THAT bad? The outside world simply doesn't quite reflect the stated nightmare picture you get if you just go by the conversations here.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/21 04:57 AM
1

Not judging you, but she sounds kinda trashy. There are plenty of trashy women who think this way, but I wouldn't use them as the universal standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/21 04:53 AM
1

Oh I have to disagree with this pretty hard. Honestly it makes me think you simply just don't know what it's like being male in the dating world. If I were a female of the same percentile attractiveness I am as a man, the situations where I had to do all the work change into situations where someone is doing all the work for me. Also my personality wouldn't have been as important.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/21 04:51 AM
1

Yes and no. What I've found is that humans are simpler than we want to believe. There are some serious base money-brain cues and attractive features that are pretty widely shared. We often tell ourselves the reasons are complex when the reasons are actually simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/21 04:40 AM
1

I think in general people focus a lot more on 'forever' than I do. Maybe I do that a little bit more now, but for most of my life I thought the ideal was much more of a free spirit kind of going through life meeting people who wander in and out, and you spend a few days, months, or years with them as it goes. Again, you see that me more in Hollywood - Whoopi Goldberg in her 60's is apparently still living loose getting with guys much younger than herself at times. Of course, when I was younger I…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/21 10:01 PM
1

What do you think of Hollywood age gap relationships - for example Jeff Goldblum recently married someone around 30 years younger than himself. Patrick Stewart I think married a 38yo when he was around 70. Even Alex Trebek had a decently younger wife. You also see not just in Hollywood guys who are ready to settle down and have kids who reasonably pick wives who are still capable of having kids. I have literally 3 female friends who married men around 10 years older when they were around 30. One…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/21 09:48 PM
2

I'm not telling you to, I'm just describing what seems ideal to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/21 07:43 PM
3

Decently. I'm like 300 right now. I'm a big dude who deadlifts 400 pounds and the like, but also fat, and all the weight goes to hips and legs. Kinda like a sumo wrestler.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/21 07:42 PM
4

Yeah, it's my ego. To my mind, I was supposed to be a giant in this world, and I'm not. Like, sure I could have gotten a Masters degree and become a high school math teacher and made a decent salary and been in a better place than I am now, but once upon a time thinking about that seemed like a hellish nightmare of failure and underperformance. Spend my life as a fucking high school teacher? That's as high as I rise? Jesus, just let me jump out the nearest window right now. So similarly, I know …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/21 07:05 PM
2

I have a very severe disconnect when it comes to attractive success markers, or just general life success. I'll spend hours contemplating the world or some deep and difficult problem, and feel like I've come to a level of sophistication about my understanding that I don't see in anyone else around me, and think that's pretty damn awesome, but it doesn't really translate to anything. OTOH, I'll do something that seems conventionally impressive, that required like 20% of my brain power, and it won…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/21 06:57 PM
3

Not in a "hey baby sweetie" kind of way. He just seems like a chill guy, never comes off nervous or unconfident around women, never seems desperate, and is able to tell little casual lies very convincingly. He was a former drug addict, and they tend to get expert at doing that. I used to have female friends who were feminist-inclined, and any given night be telling me how horrible it is when men do this this or this, and then another day they'd meet my brother and go, "Oh, I met your brother, he…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/21 06:45 PM
-1

The half-your-age-plus-seven rule - I hear about it now as a "don't date lower than that" thing, but I thought it originated as a notion of what the perfect age a women would be for a man. That feels like it makes more sense to me personally, because as I get older I definitely find women my age not the most appealing, but at the same time younger women do start to seem more like kids...just at a slower rate than I'm aging. Almost like if I'm 40, then 27 or so feels right and ideal to me...which…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/21 06:37 PM
4

I'm going with correlation over causation as well. My brother used to live in a trailer park, and while he was there, he dated several women. He didn't have a car, so they would drive him around places he needed to go. They let him borrow money. One was mid-20s while he was nearing 40. He felt no guilt about not being faithful to any of them. He wasn't terrible looking, had a bit of the tattooed 'bad boy' thing going on, and he was just...skilled. Like a dude who could sell you a crappy watch wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/21 06:26 PM
1

Well what I am doing is arguing for understanding. You wouldn't tell a gay person that they have to choose between pursuing who they want to have sex with and caring how others see them and think that's totally fine, would you? And men who are interested in younger women is probably a more common phenomenon than being gay, has more of a clear biological underpinning, and is found to be true for men cross cultually. It's also something weirdly common and accepted in some progessive bastions, and …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/21 05:29 PM
1

I think it's more the other way around. I still think of myself as a guy who likes girls and gets interested in girls in the same way I always did. You're assuming that I would use women to describe a peer, which isn't really so.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/21 04:55 PM
1

No we're not related. I was having dinner at someone else's house. She outwardly seems interested in talking to me, yes. She tends to glance my way, and add extra sentences to what she's saying to me after my attention has gone over to what someone else is saying in the group, that kind of thing. Could be something or nothing. My feelings are that I look at her and get a little nervous, desire to run my hand through her hair and tell her how beautiful she is, want to have her lean against me ins…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/21 11:27 AM
1

No I would definitely say I related to her more than her mother. Her mother is not at all interesting to talk to, and definitely doesn't share a life perspective with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/21 10:50 AM
1

Good question. I suppose more I just like to be able to express my feelings, not that I'm specifically asking for something. I loosely imagine just talking on the phone with her for starters.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/21 10:29 AM
1

Leave her alone, the fuck? Her only qualification to you is her being sexually attractive which is an itch you can scratch for a fee anywhere. I would not agree with that at all. The dynamic I want is something very different from what I would get from a prostitute. It...continually confuses me how there is some group of people who can see nothing but growing old together or conversely just wanting a hole to fuck. It even feels weird that I have to explain that there are other scenarios. I don't…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/21 10:19 AM
1

I obviously didn't act on my impulses. I'm here deliberating about it, and coming to the conclusion that I spent entirely too much of my life concerned with what other people thought, and not taking chances or doing things and regretting that later. Of course it might not work out, that's every scenario of this kind. I can't control what other people think. You're also reminding me of times past where I heard "Oh, if you admit your interest, it might make her uncomfortable." And that was someone…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/21 09:25 AM
0

Well it does if the truth is that I very much would like something great to happen with this girl, and that my mind was on her the whole night, and and that even while here on social media before bed I'm finding my imagination wandering to conversation scenarios with her.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/21 09:01 AM
0

Men tend to be more disagreeable and are more prone to anti-social personalities and behaviors, but that doesn't mean men in general don't care what society thinks. I would say it's actually correct that 'social conditioning doesn't work' in the sense that I still feel this way, but all the social stigma does is make me feel bad about how I can't help but feeling. Like gay conversation therapy, you basically wind up just making unhappy people who live a lie. She is 19, and I am 40. I wish the nu…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/21 08:45 AM
0

On one level yes, on another I don't think you can completely dismiss the effect of social stigma. The only people who don't care at all about social stigma are sociopaths.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/21 07:56 AM
2

Reddit is kinda misogynistic, but complaining about it is like making someone live with a pack of circus clowns for years, who constantly criticize them and tell them they're disgusting and a horrible person who no one will ever love or care about and everything hurtful people have ever done to them is their own fault and they deserve it, and then complaining when that person has a grudge against clowns.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/21 07:49 AM
-2

Thanksgiving party. Decent time, good conversation. One painful thing: Girl there, someone's daughter, is really attractive. I've seen her before and liked her for a bit, and she's legal, but I'm quite a bit older than her. I don't need a 'yes', I just need it to be okay for me to ask. And it kills me that what feels like a totally natural inclination somehow makes me evil incarnate.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/21 07:42 AM
3

I'm worried, because I'm feeling a loss of interest in women. I'm not having physical dysfunction, just that once upon a time a nice ass would have raised my blood pressure and sent me yearning, and now that's not happening. Or I used to be super into imagining girls doing things like sitting on my face, and now that's feeling like a less exciting proposition. I really hope this is not a permanent part of getting older, because the old sexual excitement, I now realize, colored basically my whole…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/21 08:58 AM
2

The first movie is The Net. I'm old enough to remember that came out the same weekend as Waterworld with Kevin Costner. And both wound up sucking.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/21 08:52 AM
1

I think men and women tend to have different personalities, and it's always a hurdle. We often don't understand each other. I think those gaps can be bridged by attempts at mutual understanding, but that doesn't happen because we either don't want to acknowledge it's necessary, or we see the differences as fault. I've certainly had the experience of feeling that being a guy was seen as a pathology to some idealistic types, and that's just the worst thing possible if you were trying to get me to …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/21 08:47 AM
1

What's hilarious, and that I'm entirely aware of, is that now that I see this girl as desirable, I'm sure to start acting in a way toward her that makes me less desirable myself. If I had kept on thinking and treating her as if she was whatever, she might have gotten into me.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/21 01:42 PM
3

This is so illustrative... There's a girl I know through work. When I first saw her, I was like 'meh'. Not particularly into her. My interactions with her have probably brought us a tad closer, and she seems like an OK human, but still I'm like 'meh'. But then recently, I discovered she used to be a model, and still does a little modeling from time to time. And upon learning that, what happened in my head? "Oh, society regards her as a model. She must be desirable." Now all of a sudden, I percei…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/21 11:12 AM
6

Literally called the police? No, and I think it's clear that's not meant literally. Talked about how much they hate guys hitting on them but also expected guys to be the ones to hit on them? I can think of 4 off the top of my head.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/21 12:30 AM
2

I have personally observed a non-zero number of women who do indeed do this, sadly.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/21 12:28 AM
1

There's the camp (my camp) that more focuses on some threshold (mine is just normal weight, cute, and (increasingly) not stupid). It's more statistically minded. This is odd to me, because I want to fuck people I find something fuckable about, and don't want to fuck people who I don't find anything fuckable about. There are 200 pound women that's true for, and others it's not true for. I would never go "Oop, she's over on the scale, gotta reject her."
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/21 12:26 AM
3

Like I said, they had be captive, so to speak. One was a phone call I had to do for work. Unless I wanted to make it a thing to say, "Yeah, don't care" or something, you usually just "Uh huh" people until they're done and try to change the subject.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 12:42 PM
6

Part of the indulgence is that it's not about real problems. If one of these women couldn't help but break down because she's distracted that her kid got hit by a car and is in the hospital right now, I wouldn't have a single problem with that. Or if she was depressed because her life was empty and meaningless, or whatever else. No, it's more like "Ugh, this morning I had to wait 45 minutes on line because the teller was like sooo annoying and wouldn't give me what I wanted!" Wow, the trials of …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 10:54 AM
2

One of these is a business relationship. Flirting with her would be as equally inappropriate as her telling me about her personal problems, except I could get in trouble. Plus, I don't really want to flirt with her, her personality seriously turns me off.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 10:51 AM
12

Three times this week, I had to spend time listening to women who weren't my girlfriend indulgently bitch about their problems. They don't want advice or solutions, they just want your captive audience so you are forced to listen listen listen, and make them feel better by sucking away some of your own vitality for their benefit. One in particular was, to my mind, so incredibly indulgent and inappropriate. I was like "are you kidding"? It was also coupled with a rather whiny kind of "Things are …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 09:16 AM
1

Steve Buscemi If you saw Steve Buscemi in a crowd of non-celebs he would probably be above-average attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 09:04 AM
6

I don't like the number thing. I don't really think averages are that great either. I think attraction is about the presence of attractive qualities, not perfection. As an example, I tutored this college girl for a bit. Not great skin and a little rough looking. Skinny, but overly so for me; no ass at all. But she had a flirty way about her, Eastern-European accent, and seemed like a little bit of a degenerate, which honestly turned me on. And whatever other intangible 'something' there was in t…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/21 09:01 AM
2

Forget countries. Different ages, different experiences...different amounts of medication people are forgetting to take.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/21 08:28 PM
6

I had a really great moment with some old friends and acquaintances. We were hanging out in a diner, reminiscing, revisiting old bonds. It felt really good, to have the sense that what was in the past didn't matter, to feel close to people, to be accepted, etc. I had a really nice moment with a girl I used to know. We apologized to each other, and recognized how silly we had been to be blinded by negative emotions, and we hugged. ...and then I woke up.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/21 06:01 AM
3

How many women were sexually miserable being in relationships with men that did not meet their desire standards? People don't quite work like that, though. There's a version of me in another time and place that gets an arranged marriage to a girl only kinda attractive by modern standards, but who feels like the luckiest dude in the world. Expectations play a huge part in happiness. I also wonder about the whole idea of female desire standards to begin with. I have female friends married to many …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 10:20 AM
3

I tell ya, I've been watching a lot of old movies lately ("old" as in before 2010), and both the world depicted in those movies, and the me I remember watching those movies for the first time...wow that was so much happier. Wow was that a better outlook on life. And yes, relevant to the subreddit, part of that better mindset probably included a better disposition toward women. I'm left to wonder how much of it is me, and how much of it is...all of this shit; this social media cesspool and what i…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 09:55 AM
2

It's life basically about collecting new amazing memories? That's what I find.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 04:11 PM
1

I'm a man, and no I wouldn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/21 04:10 PM
5

I play 7 musical instruments, and listen to classical and prog rock. I teach math and do difficult math problems for fun. My current best deadlift is 365 pounds, and my bench press is up to 285. I have a decent background in economics, follow politics, and have a strong interest in psychology and trying to understand people. I spend a lot of time thinking about the world. I used to be a big foodie and a bit of a cinema buff. All those things are fine. Some of them have faded over time. For examp…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 11:28 AM
5

I did't mean to imply my father left. He was around, he just wasn't very good at those types of things.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 03:11 AM
6

Feminism, in a way, ruined my young life. In all fairness, the blame probably gets spread around, including to myself, but feminism certainly didn't help. It was a lie; an imposition on the natural tendencies and now-obvious dynamics between the boys and girls in my social group. We championed feminist notions without realizing yet that they didn't make much sense, or actually describe how people were. I tried to behave as a 'good guy', who said and thought the right things along feminist lines,…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/21 11:49 PM
1

Billionaire for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/21 09:55 PM
2

The way she confidently repeated "chill pill", she thought she was immune. As a guy, I know if I did that with a guy in that state, I'd better be ready for an incoming fist. I might still be stubborn and say it if I'm looking for a fight and don't want to take this guy's shit, but I'd certainly know what I was getting into. Repeating that to him was her basically saying, "Yeah right, you're not gonna do shit"...and she was wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/21 09:52 PM
1

know your place Well personally speaking, this is exactly the attitude I have a problem with. Know my place? You want to come over and tell me what my 'place' should be to my face?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/21 09:43 PM
1

There are significantly less of those.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/21 10:06 AM
2

It's from experience. Many women really want you to take the reins, so to speak. They want someone who will make their life easier and take care of them, and make hard decisions for them, and deal with the stuff they feel anxious and incapable of dealing with. I could literally go on a dating site right now and find you an example of this, both in profiles I read, and in conversations I might have.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/21 09:28 AM
1

I was just ruminating in a bad headspace, thinking about old experiences. I was thinking about how time and time again, I felt like I always did the right thing, or came up with the right answer. Whatever negative shit was going on in my head, I didn't unleash it. I was always kind, always found my way away from anger, and always made the choice that was most considerate of others. But then I learned that it never mattered that I did that. Over and over again, no one cared. So why was I doing it…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/21 09:10 AM
4

There's a whole slew of typically elite-leftist notions like that that actually wind up hurting the least well off in society. Anti-policing is one example, because guess which communities need policing the most. Similarly, free love/anti-traditional marriage notions hurt lower class women who need a husband and second income to give their children a fighting chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 11:56 PM
1

Depends what we're talking about. There's the "oh woooow" that a guy can feel for a girl at first sight. There's the super excited smiley feeling when you really get into someone that usually doesn't last more than a few years. There's the feeling of comfort and familiarity and connection with someone. Usually the middle one is the one construed as 'love'.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 11:51 PM
1

Yeah my least favorite thing about Whole Foods is the people who shop at Whole Foods.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 11:38 PM
1

I think it's gonna depend on where. My sample size is small, but it's gotten worse over time to me. I'm self-employed now.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 07:39 PM
4

Every workplace I've ever worked in, there's always been this one woman who seemed to have decided that everyone hates her, and that her goal in life should be to make everyone in else in the workplace as miserable as she is. Often middle aged, and not accomplished, she seems constantly anxiety-ridden, critical, paranoid, etc. She thinks Jessica in accounting has it out for her. And she deals with these feelings by firing back with the power outlet that's been opened to her: Complaining to Human…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 07:28 PM
2

I unfortunately have found that my general tendency to be deeply disappointed in other humans, and that the reality of them isn't up to par with the idea I had in my head for them, follows into sex a bit. I'm not super experienced, but I've never had someone surprise me positively, as in, "Oh wow, they're good at this in ways I didn't think of." More it's been, "Wait...I thought this was basic, how are you not even..." Part of that is just not feeling on the same wavelength with people. The peop…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 07:16 PM
5

I'm really feeling like my mind is made up that I just can't do the pronoun thing. Asking me to call you 'they' every time we interact is like asking me to join you in prayer to Jesus Christ before every sitdown: In a vacuum, it's not such a horrible thing, but in can be part of a pervasive ideology that is trying to gain power and take hold, and I cannot, in good conscience, support or help it to do so. If you want me to be more open, you need to stop trying to forcibly social engineer compassi…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 05:40 AM
2

I watched in on video last night. I'm mixed about it. I don't think Villeneuve is quite as good as everyone pegs him. He's like a lot of modern directors where everything is solid, looks great, and you put the pseudo-profound Hans Zimmer soundtrack on it, and you get the illusion of really having something, but it's not really all that. So many of the decisions here make no sense to me. The movie looks too wooden and crisp. It has no soul. The Atrades tech look like something from a tech demo an…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 04:58 AM
2

I would add that one of those things can simply be interaction with other people on social media and the modern world. You get a hostility and standoffish manner to other humans in general, and no one ever seems interested is being simply kind to each other anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 04:48 AM
5

I think we really need to specify what we're calling amateur or homemade porn. I sometimes wonder if women or people who don't like porn are just bad a finding good porn, and they think the most generic, old-school porn setup with all the awkward positions and fake moaning is what everyone is watching. No, we're watching way better shit than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/21 04:46 AM
1

r/bigdickproblems
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/21 04:24 AM
1

Fair enough. I will say that I think there's a middle ground, and that rebellion makes people go all the way in the other direction with things. I hated organized religion most of my life, and that stopped working for me. The understanding I came to was that there wasn't zero reason for these things to exist. Just like there wasn't zero reason for formal dating rituals and gender roles. Some rebellion thought we could just cast all that off and live in an un-oppressed Utopia, and that's not work…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/21 09:29 PM
4

Give me some feedback I can use for next time! "Sorry, I'm not really interested" is fine, first of all. Please don't make excuses like "Oh, well I don't really know if I'm into dating someone right now." I've had women on dating sites tell me that. Lady, you're on a fucking dating site. Even better would be, "Sorry, you didn't get me interested. Your profile was pretty good, but we got to talking and you played it a little dull. I was hoping for you to challenge me a bit more, and when you didn…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/21 09:07 PM
0

Yes, but perhaps more if you start at that place? There's a popular gonewild poster I'm thinking of who is a formerly-repressed Muslim girl who is now hypersexual and seems to be having a great time of it, and it strikes me that I myself will never get to feel that liberation in the way she does, because I started off with super liberal parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/21 09:00 PM
4

There's a deeply primal and powerful element to regarding people in a gendered way. Killing that and insisting we all have to see each other as best buds loses that. Part of the way there is to imagine the US a few decades ago. The social norms, the dating rituals, the formal relations that preserve the mystery, and allow two people to interact while still seeing each other as man and woman. Even farther in that direction is to imagine living in a Muslim society that still requires the hijab and…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/21 08:45 PM
1

I don't know if my experience is anyone else's, but I feel like love was something for me that required a different time in history. I fell in love in high school, but it was totally about seeing her as a woman; an ideal feminine, more than as a person. Maybe in another time we could have had a formal dating experience, courtship rituals, things left unspoken, the mysteriousness of the other sex preserved, and that feeling for her could have been nurtured. As it was, it was still pretty damn pow…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/21 09:27 AM
1

She's got a strangely distant air about her, like the photos are too processed or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/21 09:20 AM
2

I recently watched this interview, and I recommend it to everyone simply because it contains so many interesting ideas about what's going on and why, even if you wind up not agreeing with everything. I don't personally think Shellenberger is right about everything myself, but I do agree with the premise that we've been overly terrified about these issues into a state of probably unreasonable and definitely unhelpful panic and terror, and that the attitude that feeds into that has something to do…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/21 09:18 AM
2

It's funny when I watch old movies or shows I haven't seen in a long time, and they contain interactions that represent something that was completely normal and understood about how men feel about women, how men and women interact and why, and all the other truth about cats and dogs stuff, but then to think about the world we currently live in, and how we seem to have lost those basic understandings from maybe even just 10 years ago. How the hell did that happen? There's all this insane ideology…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/21 09:13 AM
1

Who is despised by everyone? Most every thread I've been a part of it's been 2/3 RP guys and 1/3 BP women alternately liking or hating points that support or criticize their viewpoints.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/21 06:24 AM
1

Are there more young girls with daddy issues now? I'm not sure that's correct. My guess would have been that both molestation casual sexualization by fathers was more common in the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/21 06:22 AM
1

I don't know what posts you are referring to, but I would just say that here and everywhere it's a problem of a small amount of people doing most of the damage. Most men aren't honking women's tits as they pass by on the street, but one dude can honk 100 women, and so a disproportionate experience is had.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/21 06:20 AM
1

By 'your family' do you mean your relatives or your direct spouse and kids?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/21 05:41 AM
1

On average, women marry men a few years older than them. Within my own family, one brother married a woman 10 years younger, another 8 years younger, once dated a girl 14 years younger for a few years, etc. It's hardly unusual. Balancing that out are the same-age people who met each other at the same part of their lives like college or similar. Contrast that with Hollywood. Jeff Goldblum recently married a woman 30 years younger than him, and he's hardly alone. Divorced/separated men in Hollywoo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/21 05:40 AM
3

Twerking. I like big butts, but twerking does not improve anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/21 05:34 AM
1

Bad taste in music.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/21 05:32 AM
1

Here's how I look at it: Suppose you were someone who was treated badly by your friends. They betrayed your trust, emotionally abused you, abandoned you, broke your heart, etc. That sucks. You happen upon an online community for people who had that happen to them, and they talk with a lot of cynicism about human relationships. "Yeah, when it comes down to it, people mostly care about what you can do for them." "We're not as altruistic with our friends as we like to think we are." "People want to…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/21 04:38 AM
3

Crikey!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/21 03:07 AM
1

I don't think I'd be surprised at all. OTOH, I do think some people went too far in that direction, into something like "All men who act like men are actually messed up, and deep down yearning to be free to be sensitive, enlightened feminists just like us." And no, that is definitely not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/21 03:03 AM
1

I'm having difficulty imagining how one became the other, but that's interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/21 01:18 AM
1

No. If they asked, I would be happy to give frank advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/21 12:57 AM
1

I look at it simply this way: For me to want to be around you, I have to enjoy being around you. I've come to believe it doesn't make sense to delineate, unless you want something to have formal recognition as a certain thing. If I had entirely my way, I'd have people I enjoy being around for a night, or a month, or once in a while, etc. And I don't necessarily see one as more valuable that another. One amazing night in life can be a memory that pays dividends for the rest of your life. It's lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/21 12:53 AM
1

Humans are primates
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/21 10:27 PM
3

What specifically about it do you find homosexual in nature?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/21 08:16 PM
1

Because we already know. Would you like to hear about how my period is clotting up mightily in my pad and ruining my day? Well actually I've been around women who would talk about that stuff all the time. I wouldn't call it the most attractive thing, but it's not the end of the world. Why should we be subjected to your selfish thoughts? You seem to have this very strange urge to tell everyone about them I think it's a desire to want to be free to be myself. There's a sense of it feeling almost d…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/21 05:53 AM
2

I always tell myself that maybe it’ll make the slightest bit of difference for them. There are perhaps guys too far gone for that, but in general I think that you are correct that it might make a difference. It might make more than a little bit of difference, even. Because inevitably, over the course of those threads, there’s something that feels like an attack on me. Oh I know about that too. I think the equivalent of “maybe your life is hard because you’re acting like a dick" is for me to obse…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/21 05:44 AM
2

Okay, so... But even you admit the bullying by other men has affected these guys emotionally. But they get a pass becasue rbeyvdont have vaginas? I don't think it compares, personally. I think there's a line or two on my face, and a year or two off my lifespan, because of the pain and shit I've gone through with women. I don't lie awake at night thinking about bullies in junior high. Tell the military that. I think it's a fairly well established thing that, for example, social media can be harde…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/21 05:34 AM
1

Well I think it makes obvious evolutionary sense for the desire to impregnate women to be a thing that overrides other concerns. The 'Godess' thing is more difficult - I'm trying to tie a neat evolutionary bow around it, and I think what I might up come up with would be so speculative as to be worthless.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/21 05:02 AM
2

I don't think I've done much invalidating of people's experiences here. I've actually been quite careful to make it a point to acknowledge people's negative experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/21 04:56 AM
2

They desire a return to when men had control over women I think it's useful to consider that that desire for control can be seen not as an attempt at inequality, but at equality. One way to see, say, conservative Muslim societies, is as organization around trying to control the power women have in the male mind. They're trying to have control over that which, in the first place, has tremendous power over them. I like to ask: Who really had the power in Homer's Iliad - the men who fought wars ove…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/21 04:55 AM
3

I'm sorry to hear about your bad experiences. Why can't you just treat us like friends? Well I think you're looking for more than just to be treated a certain way, because that implies an active attempt to act in a certain way toward you, which is what the guys who were trying to get you to like them were doing. What you want is to be actually valued as a friend. I've said frequently that the best approach is to try and maximize the empathy both ways. I had female friends I was interested in, an…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/21 04:46 AM
3

This is a very common view from incels and i always get this feeling that you guys are wanting more pleasant interactions with women so you can get your foot in the door That's not at all what I was talking about, no. I was much more talking about my experiences on reddit talking to feminists.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/21 03:57 AM
3

I think this is reasonable, but it requires men to not be told their problems are 'not real problems' like they often are. "Distress of the privileged" is another line brought out for it - apparently the endless anger and resentment can only be because men have had it so good for so long that when they get a tiny fraction of women's problems they go crazy. That's the narrative for some.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/21 03:50 AM
1

I can't say this is demonstrably accurate for me. I've been aggressively hit on by gay men, and it didn't bother me. In fact, it kind of informs my views - the gay dude at a party in college who traced little circles on my thigh? He was taking a shot, I bear him no ill will about it, and I think whatever discomfort I did feel was my failing. How small of me to need to get him in trouble for his 'sexual assault' on my jeans-covered leg, and I sympathize with how it might suck to take a risk expos…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/21 03:46 AM
2

To say what I said to one other person - a really good response I have to get to replying to later because I gtg, but I will reply.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 03:50 PM
4

Indeed, it was the trope behind every movie you watched.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 03:48 PM
5

This is a really good response, that deserves a careful response in return - which I have to get to later because I have to go for now. Just letting you know.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 03:48 PM
1

OK, well I don't think any of that describes what I generally do. In fact, I'm flashing back to college, when I would deliberately make a thing out of backing off really quickly if she wasn't interested. The problem with that, unfortunately, is that there is some element of truth to nice guys finishing last. I know from experience that if I listen to all this, and become sensitive to it, it's gonna do fuck-all to help with my loneliness and despair. I'll get "Oh, you're amazing, now if you excus…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 03:46 PM
5

Well I suppose I don't. What do you think the answer is, than? Because I really don't feel like 'men need to stop doing this' is going to work.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 03:34 PM
5

Again, how is it my problem to help men? Because we have to live on this planet with each other? I'm sorry to hear you got sexually assaulted, but if men and women are at war, well...why are we even here talking?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 03:26 PM
0

OK, well I didn't know details, I'm sorry that happened. Realize I deal frequently with the attitude that I shouldn't even approach that other customer because I might make her uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 03:25 PM
4

Well can I ask you a simple question: Do you think you at all contribute to the problem? I mean, if I thought all women I might approach had your attitude, I would definitely have a certain mindset in response. And maybe women might have a certain mindset in response to that mindset me, and around and around, but I'm just asking if you think you're not a part of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 03:21 PM
-1

Do you think mutual empathy is not helpful here? I mean, the guy you got an oil change from, if you apply what I said 2 replies up to him, and realize that the possibility of being with you was probably SO profound to him, does that change your perspective on his behavior? I dunno specifically what he said or did, but I know I was at a car wash recently, and one of the other customers was a woman I felt what I described about. I didn't say anything to her, but maybe I should have, because the up…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 03:03 PM
7

Well the first thing I'd imagine is that that female nerd is still probably going to have a way easier time finding guys interested in her than her percentile-equivalent attractive male counterpart. As far as female entitlement and feelings of unfairness...well that happens all the time, just with different things. The SJW core is chock full of women who think that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 02:55 PM
4

Would you say it's in no way ever good for someone to desire you? Is there no scenario where men wanting to be better people and be inspired to great things by the image of feminine beauty is a good thing? You don't see someone looking in your eyes and finding the most profound things in them to ever sound appealing? It seems to be that there's potentially good stuff there for everyone to enjoy, and I can't help but feel that insisting on killing that loses a lot of the primal core of attraction…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 02:51 PM
4

Well I'm 40, so it's a little late for all that for me. I wanted to be a rock star/actor/director/important public figure who then later did a few terms in the US Senate or something like that. And I assumed that was going to happen for me, because I was that fucking special, how could it not? Of course I had a big IQ and a good math brain, but I thought the creative stuff was the highest-level stuff a person could set eyes on. Being 'just' a tech guy making 250k seemed beneath me.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 02:38 PM
4

Again, it's not a 'learned' thing, it's a biochemical response. Humans are not fundamentally rational creatures, we're monkey brains with a complex reasoning machine sitting on top. So, you can know what you're saying is true, but still experience the profound power of seeing a woman that way, and not want to get rid of that, especially when attraction is about experiencing joy, and desire is mental to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 02:34 PM
2

I don't disagree, but I think it's better to see the male tendency to see pretty women this way as just something that's biological and that's gonna happen. I wonder: Could you imagine a society where you lived happily where men and women didn't really interact with each other as peers or friends or see each other super deeply on a regular basis? Like, people hang with their own gender, but think "Oh look, a man/woman, those are for flirting with and fucking." I remember my family and I used to …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 02:31 PM
3

I'm sure they can to some degree, but I feel like the biology is always going to creep in somewhere. I think maybe a better approach would just to teach people how to be good at manipulating the shallow biological stuff in order to be hot for one another. And that doesn't have entirely to do with looks. I think there's a certain amount of people you meet who are 'eh', and they could convert the 'eh' if they played their cards right. I remember a few yeras ago a woman came on to me at a gathering…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 02:17 PM
4

I do think that ship has sailed, yes. I would, though, point out that 50 Shades of Gray was one of the most successful books of all time, and it had entirely to do with a powerful, dominant man and a submissive woman. Do you think the desire to be submissive is shared equally by the sexes?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 02:11 PM
4

I think it's a big mistake to see them as a lost cause, or to think you can see men as 'good ones' and 'bad ones' like that. Don't you think there's a path here where you can read what I said about the idealized feminine, the desire to have her determinations be fair, and do something constructive with that? Inherently, men wanting to be better because of you, to be worthy of you, should not be a totally negative thing, in fact said like that, it seems like it could be a wonderful thing, couldn'…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 02:08 PM
5

I see. My thesis has always been that the best we can do is to try and maximize connection and understanding between men and women. It's never gonna be perfect, but certainly it can be something. And I think obviously social media and online dating do a terrible job with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 02:04 PM
2

Healthy social connections I agree with, but I think part of the problem is that the way out is through, so to speak. I think it requires men to be able to unload their sexual feelings honestly, and perhaps a little of the resentment that's gotten attached, and not receive negative reactions to it. Kind of like this: "Sometimes when I walk behind a woman on the street, all I can think about is how much I want to see her bent over, moaning, with a gaping asshole!" "That's okay." "Really? It is? O…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 02:01 PM
2

I wouldn't say it's fair to women either. I would say that 'the ugly ones' is a relatively small group of women, especially among young women, and that in general a much larger percentage of women get sexual attention than men. I'm also surprised that you see the 'pretty ones' as getting rewarded, when often what you hear is the burden and horrible experience of men always wanting sex from you.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 01:52 PM
1

I feel like the cat's out of the bag now, but who knows what the future will bring. I think you'd have to do more than just monogamy, but also get back into more traditional gender roles.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 01:44 PM
8

What avenues to getting rich do you suggest?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 01:43 PM
7

Well I think what's happening with those incels is that they strongly desire the fairness that I was talking about, and suffer the disillusion of having a thing that holds that much importance and meaning to them, and that is connected to seeing attractive women as ideal arbiters of judgement, be so unfair.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 01:42 PM
9

The word 'entitled' is brought out on these occasions, and I think it's a tad cheap. Watch this video: https://youtu.be/meiU6TxysCg It explores how, even in our primate relatives, there is an innate sense of fairness, and frustration with things that are unfair. Now tell me how much sense it makes to say "There is no answer for monkeys who think they're entitled to grapes." Is that useful? Does it deal with the problem? Or is is a cheap idealistic dismissal of the problem?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 01:39 PM
7

Curious — do male peers have a similar obligation to not hurt mens feelings? Cause I’m hearing lots of resentment toward women in this scenario but none for the men who bullied and harassed (generic) you. Two things 1. Other men don't have what you need. and 2. Women are totally better at brutal psychological warfare than men are. But are womne actually saying that to men? They definitely are. If you wander into feminist corners, you often receive the kind of cruelty only those who seem themselv…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 01:31 PM
3

Same thing applies to people who are racist and classist. Oh, I think this is miles different. You're conflating someone's opinions about a race or a group of people with a biological impulse that makes men go "woooow look at her." I hope you accept it as someone who experiences being a man that it's not the same thing at all. I think, perhaps, you could see it as someone who has something you really want or need. Suppose you're talking to someone, and under their arm they have a folder containi…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 01:02 PM
1

Except that this describes me when I am simply feeling a lower sex drive: It takes something to get me going and into it. So is that 'different', or just 'less'?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 03:20 AM
1

Is there something inherently female about feeling initially uncomfortable, unsafe, and without confidence?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 03:18 AM
2

The problem is that once you throw away compromise, including unspoken compromise, you're left with a lot of unhappy people who can't find exactly what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 08:06 PM
2

I've had frustration feeling like women were asking me for something I could never deliver. I behaved, I was decent, but I just couldn't tell them in my heart of hearts that our wonderful platonic conversation meant more to me than getting to touch them, because it simply wasn't true. How could it be? And that being the case made me morally lacking and deserving of bad things, apparently.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 05:11 PM
3

No, we changed methods and the levels went down.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 05:03 PM
2

Yeah, I wouldn't say that's low. I suppose I ask because it's alien to me how someone with that regular sex drive, when not having sex with anyone, might not smile at the idea to browse whatever porn kink you have in your free time.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 04:33 PM
3

It would hardly be surprising if the level of this experience followed some kind of bell curve.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 04:25 PM
4

I've had some experience on hormones for low-T, which gave me high estrogen levels (test degenerates into estrogen), and I can say confidently: No, you definitely don't want this.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 04:24 PM
6

I've mentioned this story before myself. I think it's a great illustration of what men deal with, and how it doesn't make sense to have 'good guys' and 'bad guys' with regard to whether men experience this or not. I'm an entirely decent human...but damn dat ass does things to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 04:16 PM
1

If you don't mind me asking, what's your sex drive like? If you were dating someone, how often would you be comfortable having sex with them?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 04:12 PM
1

If they looked at porn all the time, but never paid for it, that would be okay with you? Because I can tell you I've been tempted by a $3 OF price when I was really into seeing more of a girl in the heat of the moment, and that's not really anything separate from my other porn viewing.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 04:04 PM
8

I wouldn't say I personally think that, I know those things make a difference. I would say that confidence and how you think of yourself do indeed have effects on how other people see you, though. Possibly less so through social media. Here's a little detail that I think goes unmentioned: The women who say "Oh, well the extra weight doesn't matter to me" are not lying, but they are imagining a kind of relationship that many men are not aiming for. For the kind of attention many guys are looking …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 03:45 PM
0

Well here's the question: Do you want honesty or do you want deceit? I view this as, in it's own way, kinda honest. He saw your legs, and it excited him, and he said some version of what was on his mind at the moment, something like 'Wow. Hey there, legs! I'd certainly like to engage with you in a flirty manner!' And...yeah. Alternatives would be for him to 'behave', but I gotta tell you, I myself have so many regrets in my past from mistakes I made because I thought men were supposed to 'behave…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/21 12:18 PM
8

First of all, yes it's illegal in many places. Second, escorts aren't that desirable. This is the problem I had when I was considering using one - you look at their photos, and they bear no resemblance to the woman I desire on a daily basis. If escorts looked like the cute Asain girls walking around campus last time I was at college, or the ladies over at r/adorableporn, I might reconsider, but mostly they look...like they strangely have no idea what actually makes a woman attractive. Either tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/21 07:10 PM
1

That analogy falls completely to pieces. A woman can eat dinner without me. I can't have sex without her. You really have to ask yourself why men literally have structured societies around trying to have some control over female sexuality. Maybe it's a huge deal to them that holds giant power in their minds? It seems to me you don't have to look that far to observe myriad examples of men demonstrating just how much they need what women have. You seem to think it's this kind of spoiled indulgence…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 08:51 PM
1

The implication is that horny men need to care about you more, so I guess the question becomes exactly why it is such a unbearable burden to have to deal with guys hitting on you? Is it not possible you're weighing things improperly here?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 07:26 PM
1

You're never going to have your Utopia where no one in a workplace, where people spend half their lives and are constantly around each other over long periods of time, is going to approach and take a shot with one of their coworkers. Of course they are. The reward is too high. Many many happy couples have met through work. The idea that we'd put off limits the major places where people meet and interact as places where sexual pairing can happen is just not a solution. Ditto with other places whe…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 06:52 PM
1

No, they don't all think of it in the way you do. Again, I did look at some of your comments. You seem very big on the idea that you just want men to shut up about their desires. New, yes, we can have etiquette and social protocols in place in society, but most everyone has to agree to those in order for that to work. What do you think those protocols should be, and how do you intend to implement them now that gender roles and formal male/female interaction have been murdered in the name of free…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 05:49 PM
1

Well now I'm even more wondering what you're on about, because I don't think anything I said breaks down to "why doesn't everyone love my dick". I might on occasion ponder why someone loves someone else's dick instead of mine, but that's about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 05:11 PM
1

I would say I'm 'not normal' at most to the extent that a man who is attracted to other men is 'not normal'. Is that something you're willing to say? I think a lot of guys think like me, and I've seen that both IRL and posting on reddit. As to 'why'...no, I kinda don't have a succinct answer to 'why'. Besides biology + bell curves. My comments might boil down to frustration over how people have become convinced their way is the only way, in some puritanical ideal that seems unaware of all of hum…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 02:38 PM
1

I think part of what happens is that to him it was screamingly obvious that asking for her number was an expression of interest. I have plenty of stories like this, and many other guys do as well, where it seems 'duh' to us, but she's on another wavelength. Even on dating sites it happens. What you suggested to say I think would probably be good, but it's interesting to me because the phrasing doesn't feel authentic to me. I've never had the thought "Oh she's cute and I love her vibe. I'd like t…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 11:11 AM
2

This is really a horrible onslaught on personal liberty and sets an atrocious precedent. We're in a pandemic. This is probably the most pressing case of exception there is. To my mind, this approach to personal liberty screams of remedial understanding, and flashes me back to the cringe of my 20's Libertarian phase. As I told someone else, this should be so very, very simple: We have a pandemic. We find a vaccine. Reasonable people understand that you need to now take the vaccine, which involves…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 09:14 AM
1

Even if we restrict it to being a danger to themselves, do you think that has no additional consequences? I know several people who work in health care, and the stories of the dumbassery of the unvaccinated are constant. One guy "couldn't be bothered" to get vaccinated, then thought he'd be fine, then wound up dying a miserable death taking up time and resources and causing family and friends to suffer and have to deal with the loss of him. Even if you don't die, there are significant complicati…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 09:10 AM
1

I would be willing to revise my characterization of 'far greater', but I think you're missing the point if you're not seeing the literal headline aspect of this: Unvaccinated people spread more.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 08:50 AM
1

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2021/09/the-vaccinated-arent-just-as-likely-to-spread-covid/620161/
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 08:41 AM
2

I don't disagree with testing, but you're carrying a far greater virus load if you are not vaccinated.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 08:35 AM
2

I don't understand what other endgame you have in mind I think what I and many others had in mind was people being non-complete pieces of shit and getting vaccinated like the rest of us. If I were president, I would have mandated vaccines for all adults, barring exceptional reasons why someone couldn't get it. It's a fucking pandemic, and I have limited sympathy for the rights of the astonishingly stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 08:28 AM
2

This was a time ago, but my roommate in college got accused of sexual harassment. The girl who did it would go on to complain to the RD dozens more times about many other people, before the RD finally caught on and stopped taking her seriously. But that would come later. My roommate was a shy but horny guy who dared to take a shot with this girl...the wrong girl. Once accused, he claimed "That wasn't my intent", and was told by the school that his intent did not matter, they were punishing him a…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 08:22 AM
2

I feel like it's the deception aspect that has the highest probability of pissing someone off, by far.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 08:16 AM
1

Yeah, the message I got was that only dudes with an 80IQ or the tiniest of dicks would need to work out like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 08:15 AM
2

"Do you have a boyfriend? I'm asking because I was excited when I got your number, and now I see on your insta some guy's name with a heart around it, and I'm wondering if I misread something." - I think that's entirely fine to say. Any reasonable person would want to know this in your situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 08:11 AM
2

People that don't are spreading it to others as well. That's how contagion works. Their choices are hurting other people.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 08:07 AM
2

What am I doing? First I would say that terms like "drove people nuts" are expressions. We're not talking about a pathological thing where it ruined relationships or something, just that my friends knew I was a foodie and was always gonna get excited about the opportunity to try a new restaurant if we went into the city or something. As far as getting depressed because one cannot find kindred spirits...that sounds damn normal to me. As far as 'repressing' goes, I hope you don't mind that I looke…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 07:52 AM
2

Can you elaborate on what you see as 'serious issues'? On one level I agree with you, in terms of the frustration and despair I feel about my situation. But I have a feeling you mean it differently.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/21 06:40 AM
4

I'm curious how much whacking people are doing here. Most of my life I've been a once a day guy. It might have been zero times a day, or 4 times a day, depending on how busy I was, but once a day was probably the average. Recently I've been freaking out about life being short, and fairly obsessed, so it's been every morning and night, or twice at night, with a few internal tears shed looking at girls at the gym and at work wishing I could be with them in between.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 10:08 PM
1

I think that would entirely have to depend on the person. There's not one way to be. I agree that if you're gonna have kids, then stability is a thing. Personally, I never dreamed of my wedding day. I dreamed of half a dozen hot girls taking turns with me in my penthouse. That was always the goal, not 'nice' things like you describe.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 09:58 PM
3

I find this just doesn't work with my personality. I'm kind of an obsessive pleasure-seeker. I used to be a big foodie, for example, and at times drive people nuts with my desire to go out of the way to eat at places I was super excited about. What could I do? The thought of eating there filled with such elation, and the thought of not getting to do that with such disappointment...most of the time I would actually be holding back how big a deal it was. It seems like it's rare for something to re…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 09:53 PM
0

This is actually important and interesting to explore. Trump people that I know are the reason I shout to the skies that not all Trump people are bad. I disagree with their politics, and the more I talk to them the more I am convinced that they are deeply ill-informed and misinformed, but on a personal level, they're great in a way plenty of left-leaning people aren't. I think it's so important for the left to realize that, yes, you are missing something.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 09:44 PM
1

The women you were lusted after in college were presumably friends first, therefore you had an established friendship of sorts, and you had time to invest emotionally in that desire. Did you just want to bang their brains out? Or were you hoping for that and to be together? I think you have to start with the foundation of really wanting people to like me, really wanting to fit in, really wanting not to screw up, etc. 'Oh wow, I have a group of people who want to hang out with me, including some …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/21 12:57 PM
1

I don't think that analogy quite works out, because if she were saying in the frame that I am, where it's "honestly, when I look back, I find that what men had to offer me materially made me super happy, but when I tried to be friends with them, there was just to much space between us, and men were just too alien to me" I would accept that as a person reflecting and being honest with themselves. And in part, I don't require a world where men and women are buddy buddy. What bothers me more is whe…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 06:17 PM
0

Well it wasn't literally the exact same conversation we're having, but it did happen the way I suggest with someone who is religious conservative. Maybe different demographics, but her and the religious conservatives who are my neighbors are the reason why I defend Trump supporters to some degree, even if I don't agree with their politics. They're extremely accepting and welcoming people who are capable of defusing whatever negative grudge you came to the table with, and leaving you realizing yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 05:43 PM
1

I strongly believe the personal connection between men and women can be maximized, but it has to come through understanding and acceptance. It's immensely powerful for me to tell a woman the thoughts that I think are going to get me slapped down, and then to lift my head and realize the slap isn't coming, and instead understanding and acceptance are there. It seems like conservative women tend to be better with this, perhaps because they never had idealistic notions to begin with. From there, I'…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 05:01 PM
7

Well, this is what you’re implying. You want women to throw their coochies at the less desirable men because they’re apparently v thirsty and starving I really don't, and it's amazing to me that women jump to this so quickly. I'm much more advocating for understanding. For example, reading your post here fills me with a certain amount of despair, not because getting sex is riding on what you say, but it reinforces the idea that some women cannot understand, or don't want to. Sex isn’t a basic hu…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 04:32 PM
2

I think back to decisions I regret earlier in life, and wonder why I didn't do this or that, and then I remember that doing so would have required having mom and dad out of my head, which would have been a very tall order at the time. Comparatively, my friends offered me some decent advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 03:47 PM
1

Well to be fair, Meatloaf had the one thing he was pretty adamant that he wouldn't do, so there's that.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 03:42 PM
2

I'm not sure what you mean. Do I apply the idea of social pressure to men coercing women?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 03:41 PM
1

I don't know if that's entirely accurate, actually. There are potential biological foundations for altruism that don't have to do with those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 02:30 PM
2

I don't know what sexual socialism is supposed to be, I'm just pointing out that starving people have a hard time thinking about anything but food, so if you want to make them less food-obsessed, feeding them has a good chance of doing the trick. Also, that there is such a thing as momentum, success breeding success, and that people grow and change through experience - there's not just some permanent categories of good guys and weird horn dogs.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 02:28 PM
5

When my niece was like 17, we were sitting at a restaurant talking about dating, and she said something to the effect of, "Well, if the guy is a bad guy, or hiding something, you're gonna be able to tell." Oh dear. I explained to her that there are people who have been married for years and years only to discover they didn't really know their partner, and my sister, her mother, subtly raised her hand so I could see and her daughter couldn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 02:25 PM
2

Is it not possible that the sex obsessed socially stunted weirdo might be less sex obsessed and less socially stunted if he gets some sex and experience? The problem is that these things can have a really nasty feedback cycle to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 02:18 PM
6

OK, Herr Kant, I'm sorry we can not all live up to your moral unassailability.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 12:33 PM
5

Wow, that's a wonderful little fantasy world you live in.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 12:31 PM
2

Do you think that people who are desperate for a job, and who go into a job interview trying to present themselves as someone that employer might really want to hire, are terrible people?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 12:29 PM
5

"Ugh, you're just a disgusting, irredeemable male...we'd better talk about this more in private." ...and that woman got interested in me. Happened twice. I keep being incredulous every time it happens, but perhaps some people just have to prove you wrong when you tell them they're not worth your time, or 'reform' you, or whatever it is. Related to that, I once told a woman online to forget it, as after I sent her a message, I finished reading her profile and saw a bunch of red flags. The result?…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 12:21 PM
4

You say just, but looking back on my life, it is so clear the importance certain experiences had, and conversely the importance certain lacks of experience had. Whatever idealistic notions I might have had as a younger person are simply exposed to reality now, and the reality is that sexual success and milestones were a huge deal. As a teenager I had a girl at a birthday party pull her pants down and bend over in front of me. This was a girl I was really attracted to, and between that and the ot…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 10:11 AM
1

This tends to be how I see things as well, but there's a really strong clash between this idea and so much of modern culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 09:48 AM
2

You don't think there are aspects to the reality of sexuality and relationships that people just don't want to hear? Most relationships involve compromise, and I don't think a huge majority, or even a majority, of people are so frank with each other that they tell each other all their thoughts along those lines. I think frequently people delude themselves as to their own motivations as well, so they can't really even be honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 09:10 AM
5

How many women are dating men just because they look good posting on the gram? I mean social expectations are a huge motivator in all facets of life not just dating. Sure, I didn't mean to imply women never do this. The think the specific motivation with regard to sex works a bit differently, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/21 08:58 AM
1

I'm sure some do nowadays. If you want the NSFW version of the answer: Here you go (NSFW!)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/21 10:19 AM
5

You're not really being more convincing the more you talk about this. Yes, there is some aspects of truth to what you're saying, as well as some truth to aspects of RP, but you don't 'have it' like you think you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/21 08:31 AM
1

I'm willing to do that a bit, just know I'm just still a little skeptical you have my best interests at heart. I'm DM you.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/21 08:15 AM
5

Oh come on now. First of all, I would bet anything that before you had this attitude, you were a teenage boy who saw pretty girls as perfect and amazing and all that. The only way that would not be the case is if you got lots of attention very early on, leading you to find disdain for the women coming on to you. Second, it's not just women you get these ideas from, but society as a whole. Guys absolutely got their ideas on how to act through media and parents and all the rest. Guys who are lucky…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/21 08:12 AM
0

Well I've had experiences several times with women, not with women I was interested in, but women I was talking to (complaining to), where I tried to talk tactfully about how I was feeling, and it was depressing how they all couldn't quite understand it from a guy perspective. To them, despair comes from not finding 'the one' who can take care of them and growing old with them going to seafood restautants and craft fairs. They don't know the pain of going to the gym and seeing one gorgeous hot y…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/21 08:05 AM
2

So, here's a quote from the last psychologist I saw before COVID started, a middle-aged woman: "I don't understand. All you're telling me is that you're a man who is attracted to women. Why do you think that is a problem?" Prior to her saying that, I was ready to get proverbially slapped for what I was saying. I was used to that on the internet. I lifted my head a little surprised not to get 'slapped' down, and as the conversations proceeded along the lines of the real problem being why I though…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/21 07:54 AM
1

Yes I know what a case study is. At this point I feel you are being more snarky than serious, though, with the implication that I am so terrible that my perspective need be grounds for a psychological case study. Typically psychologists do not address things the way you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/21 07:27 AM
1

In what way?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/21 07:13 AM
3

Again you're asking for an ideal that can't possibly happen, and also being to dichotomous about it. I didn't hate any of them, I liked them better than most people, but they were still alien to me sometimes, and I still saw them as women and desirable and those who I really, really wanted the approval of. Men are going to go about things the way they think or learn is that way to win women's approval and favor. I went about things according to what I thought that was. If I thought it was someth…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/21 03:00 AM
0

It's just unrealistic to parse. Pretty people get treated differently in the world, in myriad ways. Pretty makes people smile and want to be around you. Your personality gets read in conflation with your attractiveness. There's also the fact that I just found women weird and alien. Like I remember 2 of the girls used to like to scream this one line of a song when it was on the radio. I didn't get that. It was adorable, but that's not something I would ever do, it was a giggly girly-girl thing. T…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/21 02:34 AM
1

Well what she wanted, to my mind, was for me to think like her. The honesty she thinks makes sense flows form that. In my mind, not a single thing I said or did makes even the slightest shred of sense if I wasn't interested in her. Clearly I didn't talk to her like one of the guys. I wasn't flirty ever with the guys. I never had the guys want me to rub their backs when they weren't feeling well. I didn't playfully stroke the guys' hair. So, to me, 100% we saw each other as man and woman. What mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/21 02:06 AM
1

So, have you read some of the other comments here? There seem to be plenty of people here that think that of course male/female relationships, and human relationships in general, are not marked by complete honesty. "Men like me" may be a lot of men, as well as some women. I just would be interested in what you think should have, could have happened instead between my female friends and I. Yes, there was a more direct and honest me that could have met with positive reception if 1. I had been skil…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/21 01:39 AM
0

Yep, that's part of the same thing. It's all still around.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/21 08:36 PM
15

I think the thing that forever frustrated me as a guy is that it felt like a game I could never win. We had the rules we all tacitly agreed to, but the girls forever reserved the right to both take advantage of those rules, or otherwise claim moral indignation about the idea we were playing games to begin with if that suited them better.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/21 08:28 PM
-2

I found kink.com when I was in high school. There was a model on there that looked a decent bit like one of my female friends, and had her skin tone. It was hot seeing the model getting stuff put in her asshole...can you imagine if it was her having that done to her? A real person I know? It was so incredibly hot to think of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/21 08:22 PM
1

As I get older, more and more the understanding that I'm going to die one day, blink and it will be here, dawns on me. And it makes me want to experience things before I'm done, or 80 and incapable of a lot. My dating profile literally says that I'm looking for experiences, moments, and memories, because that's exactly right. I cannot fathom why I would want to fill my time, which seems ever more precious, with a dull life. The highlights of my life are so clearly the parties where something cra…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/21 12:07 AM
1

OK, that's interesting then. I did indeed form an image of you that was entirely wrong. Do you think there is nothing to say for the fact that you had to go through the period of doing those things to arrive at where you are now? If the person who wanted/needed to climb buildings and fuck around and do drugs and had never gotten to do any of that, how would that have affected you?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 11:19 PM
1

They are, but I'm reminded of an ESPN bit on these two brothers who did snowmobile jumping. This is a particularly dangerous sport. Long story short, one brother died doing it. The other brother kept doing it, and was seriously injured and almost died. He recovered...and went back to doing it. They ask him if he had regrets, and he did not. To him, his brother died doing what he loved, would never have wanted to live any other way, and he celebrated him every day by continuing to do it. He was h…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 10:49 PM
3

I actually think it's an awesome analogy. Each person engaging in that sexual relationship is an adult making their own decisions, deciding that they would like to do something they want to do, that might carry a certain amount of risk along with it. People can make decisions like that and regret them, or not. People can make bad estimates of risk too, but that's life. I suppose you could argue that educating young women that X percentage of such relationships end in the woman getting fired, or …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 04:08 AM
2

Well first of all, no offense to the janitors of the world who have found themselves happy kink relationships. The safety thing is a tough one for me as a guy. I just want to be happy, I don't want to be hurt, I don't want to get my hopes up and fail to get somewhere, etc. It basically never once has occurred to me to feel unsafe in any dating situation. I know it's not universal for women to always feel so unsafe, but I know it is common. I wish that fact that we live in the safest society ever…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 03:41 AM
2

Do you feel the same way about cliff diving? ...this is an analogy that just occurred to me with someone else. I mean, cliff diving carries an extensive risk of death. Surely we all agree that the brief thrill or adrenaline surge you get from that cannot justify the 99.7% of life that isn't cliff diving, and almost having your brains smashed against a rock is not fun whatsoever, right? And because you feel that way, it must be safe for you to morally declare it wrong for everyone else to do? It …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 03:07 AM
3

Yes, 'if'. I hate to tell you, but all of life is risky. You might get hit by a car tomorrow. You might keep yourself safe from these kinds of consequences, and have your perfect prudent life all laid out, and then get terminal cancer. Are we next going to moralize against people who do extreme sports and cliff diving? After all, that could go really wrong, so it then becomes clear no one should ever do that, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 02:54 AM
1

For the other 99.7% of life that isn’t sexual I'm sorry you are horny so infrequently, and see your sexual experiences as so small and incidental. I would say I am closer to being horny 99.7% of the time, and I view sexual successes as some of the greatest nights of my life. So maybe that's part of where our perspectives differ.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 02:47 AM
3

It so amazing to me that some people are so certain that they know what is right and best for everyone else. Just because you fear what could go wrong, and see how you would be miserable in a situation, does not mean that is true for everyone. For other people, it was just giving into lust for a cute young secretary and a boss with the attractiveness that comes from being the boss, and they gave each other orgasms, smiled about how surreptitiously naughty they were being, and that's all there is…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 02:41 AM
2

Do you think no secretary in history ever had a fun time banging her boss? Do you think 50 Shades of Grey would have sold as many copies if Mr. Grey was a janitor? Power is sexy. Heck, men work to attain power and status to be sexy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 02:25 AM
-1

My answer is that we live in a very fearful, anxious, sensitive modern society where everyone is obsessed with what could go wrong, and in doing so, they undervalue what could go right. It's like someone who has been propagandized about how dangerous cars are, and who goes, "Well certainly no one should ever drive over the speed limit. That increases the danger, and we all agree we don't want that." And yeah, cars are kinda dangerous. It's not that it's totally wrong, it's just that there's a fl…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 02:19 AM
1

It's not accepted, or not popular?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/21 01:34 AM
1

Really? Does that mean I have to start fucking dudes?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 11:59 PM
2

I dunno, they seem to be having a lot of fun out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 08:04 PM
1

How old are you? Are you in your 20's, and if so, can you please help a 40yo understand how the fuck this happened?. Did you guys get connected to brainwashing machines every day in high school? How do they not see this makes no sense?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 09:39 AM
1

As I said elsewhere, I had a crush on a 40yo woman when I was 24, and being reminded of that just hammered home how absurd any notion of a power imbalance, or her manipulating or grooming me, is. I think I would have been fine with a skilled blowjob from her at 16, but by 24 we're just so far beyond all that as to make it ridiculous to even consider. "Well you must have been mature for your age." No, I wasn't. I ultimately lost my virginity at 23, which is also the age I got my first ever job. S…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 09:35 AM
3

How old are you? When I was in college, I had two female friends that age who were dating men in their 30's. My brother dated a 26yo when he was over 40. I don't have any guys in their 50's examples from my personal life but...do you not follow Hollywood? Jeff Goldblum got married to a 31yo at age 61. And there's tons more where that came from. Yes, he's rich and famous, but is there no chance his wife is something more than a pure gold digger?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 09:22 AM
1

Is this a universal thing, or are there some older men who are more attractive than others? I almost feel you'd have to be intellectually dishonest to say not at all. Even though I'm not a woman, I am a human, and the idea that when I was 20 there was not a 40yo female soul in all of celebrity that I didn't want to seriously bang is of course nonsense. Not a 40, of even 50yo male celeb out there that still looks damn good for you?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 08:56 AM
2

I mean, when I was 18, I found certain women who were 42 attractive, so maybe it's just a certain kind of thing. When I was a poker player during the 2000's boom, I had a crush on poker player Annie Duke, who I guess would have been 16 or 17 years older than me. And that reminds me how absolutely absurd any notion that she could 'take advantage' of me would be. I was fucking 24. Yes, please save 24yo me from being seduced into skilled, experienced blowjobs from the cute redhead. /s But, now 40yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 08:17 AM
1

And that's entirely fine if that's what you want. I am intelligent, but I never desired to be 'cute'.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 08:06 AM
1

Well as I said in another reply, I think it's possible that indeed I don't see women as friends in that way. I don't think it's a requirement that two people in a sexual relationship be buddies like that, do you? Do you not know any examples of relationships where the two people were not friends in that way, but had a different dynamic? I've seen both, and I don't really find one necessarily wins out over the other. It depends on the people.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 08:04 AM
2

I'd be somewhat concerned and try to make sure that she was okay and aware about a bunch downsides of this kind of relationships. Do you think the opposite can never happen? I'm think of an example right now of an older guy who was convinced she loved him and was his forever, and then just found another, better older guy to be with. The guy can be hurt in that scenario too.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 07:59 AM
1

I remember once a guy friend of mine, who was doing better with women than I was, told me "women want men they feel can take care of them". He was indeed this very competent, mature for his age, big keep you safe protector kind of guy, which is a very traditionally masculine thing to be. Is it that outlandish to think there's a decent subset of women who would find that attractive? You don't get the appeal at all there? I wonder if people who are more...hormonal, let's say, get that more. I'm im…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 07:51 AM
8

I think it's more than that. I think it's a part of an ideology. There's a fiction subreddit I follow where some of the more 'woke' people there criticized the creator's decision to have a 24yo female character engage in a relationship with a 33yo male character. They thought it promoted pedophilia. Is that not insane? There's a lot of that insanity going around. I don't entirely know where they get it, but it feels like someone once indoctrinated these people, and now they recite the lines with…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 07:31 AM
1

What do you even talk about ? This is a common refrain I hear, and it's something that doesn't make sense to me, because I don't see how I would have less to talk about with someone younger than me. If you're inexperienced, it means I have endless things I can show you for the first time, first of all, and I like doing that. Second of all, there's just the simple fact that maybe she makes me smile, where someone else doesn't. Even when I was 18, I found my crushes adorable - that's the perfect w…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 07:26 AM
3

If it's an 'for the overall good of society' thing, then there's a whole bunch of other social taboos you would have to reinstate along with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 06:59 AM
0

It's not a libido issue, per se. It's the added power of physical beauty in men's minds, and the way it's connected to instincts to become worthy of that feminine Goddess ideal that men see in beautiful women.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 06:34 AM
1

First of all, many don't. A good portion of priests are not celibate. Also, as we have unfortunately learned, some of them are sexually stunted and act out with children. Second, I think it would be entirely unsurprising is there was a bell curve for sexual desire in men. It's entirely possible men lower on that curve are more the ones who say "Yeah, priesthood might be for me."
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 03:15 AM
1

It might, but that shouldn't imply that tons of other women fit the bill and you don't. It doesn't mean you suck, it just means he's preferring to get certain things out of his company with you right now and not others. Having said that, hearing you talk about how into him you are, I see a high probability this ends with you being hurt.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 03:13 AM
2

Outside of Hollywood, most people don't need surgery. They might benefit from other treatments and taking care of their skin, but there's a look that people with lots of surgery get that looks OK on camera but really weird in person. At most, you shouldn't try to use surgery to change your face, but just refine what's already there.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/21 02:35 AM
1

I don't agree with the premise of 'toxic masculinity' to begin with. I think it's on the same level as saying there's a problem with 'female hysteria'. Gee, could it just be instead that people are unhappy and frustrated for perfectly understandable reasons, because society gives them no outlet for their natural feelings and inclinations?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/21 02:22 AM
8

One thing people underrate is that sex happens when you're bored. With so many things competing for your attention in modern society, I think people just underrate the effect of two people in a location thinking about something to do and going, "Well...we could fuck." Certainly you also have to be around and interact with people for sex to happen as well. I remember how close I got to my neighbors when we had a power outage for two weeks. Then, power restored, we went right back to not talking t…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/21 02:09 AM
1

Wouldn't you agree that you having these experiences gives you a massive intellectual advantage over a women my age I would say no, and one big reason is that women have all the power in dating, regardless. At the end of that day, I'm the one job hunting, and she's the one picking the nicest looking item from the supermarket, to use a popular metaphor. Particularly online dating is brutal, humiliating, and there's not a damn thing I can do against a simple 'no', or being ghosted, which happens t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/21 09:48 AM
1

women my age are not on the same intellectual or emotional level as a 30-40+ year old man That's flattering in a way, but first of all I have to inform you that you're still gonna be you when you're 40, and you'll be going "WTF, I'm 40?! That's not right. 40 is...that stuff I remember from when I was a kid. That's me now? No way." There's no magical transition from you now to you then. You learn some stuff, get some perspective, grow weary of some things, realize life is short and moves fast, bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/21 06:57 AM
0

No, not one bit. It's utterly insane to infantilize a 23yo woman as some child incapable of making her own decisions to be preyed upon, to the degree I can't really believe you're proposing to do so. How is that not deeply insulting to 23yo women? I kinda can't believe you see it as so deeply clear that an adult shouldn't be able to make decisions about pursuing a sexual relationship with another adult. Beyond that, I promise you there are many men of all ages who are most attracted to women in …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/21 03:26 AM
0

I'm attracted to who I'm attracted to. I'm not talking about kids here, I'm talking about like a 23-year-old. Again, I'm not saying the answer has to be yes, I'm saying no one should treat my want of that as anything but natural and understandable. Older man/younger woman is actually the classic matchup, much more so than the reverse. We only have a thing against it because astonishingly stupid ideologues think everyone should be like them and by being massive hypocrites they are tearing down th…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/21 02:39 AM
1

Is it possible that's a bit of The Coolidge Effect?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/21 10:26 PM
0

Mostly I just want to be able to pursue what I want without being treated like a villain or a creep or a scary person. I want the fact that I daydreamed about eating the pussy of the cute girl 10+ years younger than me in the store earlier today to be met with "duh", and an attempt to maybe see if she's interested to be met with, "sure, you can't blame him." Basically, I just want some understanding, the same understanding I see being offered in abundance to other groups.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/21 10:25 PM
2

Also: "It's simple just stick to fucking people age-career-experience-finance-power-wise equal to yours" - SJW, 2020 "It's simple just remain celibate until marriage, and marry a woman of your own race." - Christian Conservative, 1960
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/21 10:09 PM
6

SJW: "It's time we finally started treating people with understanding and compassion, celebrate diversity, inclusivity, and erase ignorant moralizing about sexual preference." Also SJW: "Men who want to have sex with precisely the women evolution should make them want to have sex with are just evil."
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/21 10:07 PM
2

I see most of the stuff here is about female sex toys. I have to say, I wish I had eliminated the stigma in my mind years ago and experimented with the different male sex toys. Looking back, it probably would have been good of me to get the most realistic fake vagina available and 'practice' with it, because the way I jerked off had so little to do with the motions or feel of penetrative sex, it created a real awkwardness trying to adjust, as well as a lack of confidence. Also, turns out putting…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/21 05:20 AM
2

The frustration, shame, hurt, hunger, and whatever else you might call it that I have suffered at times in my life have 100% been a real problem. I remember when I went back to college as an adult, and walked around the first day on campus, surrounded by endless gorgeous young girls dressed in their best, looking at all the incredible legs and bodies and beauty on display, and how massively intense the desire was to be able to do something about it: To be able to touch, feel, smell, and experien…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/21 05:23 AM
1

I don't think in terms of perfection, really, and I don't think it makes sense to. Just look at those photo sets that show the "average of all faces" among a group or race. Averaging removes all flaws and...it's super boring. Also, I'm perfectly capable of liking contrasting traits in different women. It makes no sense to say the perfect woman is shy and introverted, for example, because I'm attracted to both introverted and extroverted personality aspects at different times. If you forced my ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 08:21 PM
4

I think when you're in the mindset of desperately wanting to bang the hot chick you just saw 2 seconds ago, it's beyond you why people in relationships wouldn't spend all their days fucking up a storm, or that all that fucking could be anything but amazing. This effect is majorly enhanced by seeing all the amateur internet porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/21 08:14 PM
2

Actually I think that's a tamer than some of the other moments from his old radio show.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 05:53 PM
1

Dave Chapelle famously had people try to get his last comedy special removed and canceled. Kevin Hart is a beloved figure had a dream to host the Oscars, and he got canceled because he was, in Dave Chappelle's words, "two tweets shy of perfect". Even a legendary and legendarily clean comedian like Jerry Sinefeld is highly critical of modern cancel culture, and is among those who now refuse to play colleges because of the hyper-woke environment. This is all happening, and it's putting huge pressu…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 04:00 PM
1

That's fine, I would just suggest that the point where people go wrong is where they think it's OK to censor or deplatform comedians. That's definitely not OK. You can dislike it all you want, it still gets to exist. No one is forcing you to watch or listen to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 04:31 AM
1

I don't think that's quite right. What's the oldest sibling's name? He's clearly a pathetic figure. He pays an escort to be with him, has delusions of grandeur, thinks he's super intellectual when he doesn't actually know anything, etc. Even just the depiction of him as that guy who is working on his Libertarian civil war podcast - I know that guy, I've met him. I'm sure it's not a pleasant thing for someone like that to be depicted that way. But regardless, the idea that there is some distincti…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 01:58 AM
2

First of all, you missing the point entirely if you think this is just a guy thing or based on cruelty. Succession is great...but how do you not realize that show is making fun of people constantly? Is there no middle-aged trust fund baby who has accomplished nothing in their lives who watches that show and wants to kill themselves?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 01:30 AM
2

Where does that end? You're basically ending the whole comedy endeavor if only people who have personally experienced something can joke about that thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 01:02 AM
2

I very strongly believe society is worse when we start saying moments like the laughter in the room in the video I linked to shouldn't happen. Comedians themselves are absolutely brutal with each other when it comes to jokes. Life is tragic, we need to laugh about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 12:52 AM
2

Well would you say that finding this Jimmy Carr joke funny means I'm incapable of empathizing with people in disease-ridden parts of Africa? The nature of comedy simply does not connect to the idea that some things are to horrible or serious to joke about. I absolutely have things that just hit me too hard for me to find humor in them, but maybe that's bad, and I don't think that means there should be a moratorium for all jokes of that kind everywhere, as tempting as that can be.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 12:39 AM
2

Well I think that last point is key because it means a small number of offenders have a high number of victims. That doesn't mean the typical profile for someone is that of an offender. You see I for example seem to lean more toward having a bit of a savior complex when it comes to people like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/21 12:27 AM
2

I'm sorry to hear that, but suffice to say this is a subject that's just not funny to you. I think everyone has at least one of those. But maybe you can reflect on the principle that anything can be funny ultimately, and that there have probably been plenty of jokes you've laughed at in your decades of life that were less funny to others. Also, I think I imagined something entirely different than you got from it. I tend to think about how messed up people tend to find other messed up people. Bei…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 11:59 PM
1

Unfortunately, I think you and some of the other girls who do that might be misguided and think you're adding happiness. I think the lust that stirs up is something only sated by actually getting what you desire, at least I find it so. So, even though I do look at r/gonewild girls, it almost hurts a little bit, because what I eternally always wanted was to actually do the things with them the fantasy was about, not just imagine it in my head. It's kind of like showing a picture of a steak to a s…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 10:40 PM
3

It involves the unexpectedness of the response, as well as a reference or commentary to the vastness of kinks and fetishes as well as men looking so suss out girls who are messed up to have sex with that is out there. Although I'm wondering if I'm wasting my effort explaining that. I don't think any conversation that involved trying to explain a joke to someone determined to make a righteous stand about something not being proper subject matter for humor has ever gone well, and I kinda think tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 10:07 PM
2

It was a joke, which apparently no one got.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 08:52 PM
3

Yes and no. I think when I was younger that was not true at all. I loved flirty back-and-forth, first of all, and was entirely happy to know people purely on that level. The girl who said "wanna see my ass?" and then pulled her pants down and bent over in front of me at a party when I was 16 is still quite an awesome memory. And I was friends with that girl for longer than a lot of other friendships lasted, partially because I felt closer to her because she was a horny perv like me. So, I feel l…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 04:22 PM
-1

That's hawt
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/21 04:15 PM
1

Questions: What are your views on your mothers and if applicable your daughters? Are your opinions consistent with all the women? My mother...she could "bite", as my sister used to put it. She was a 5-foot tall woman who felt the underdog and thought she needed to go for blood for people to take her seriously, and she frequently wound up being very hurtful, even scary. You often hear people with bipolar or otherwise dramatic mothers reference this clip from the movie Mommie Dearest, and even in …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/21 10:54 PM
4

Well, we all get to attend the annual male privilege conference where we drink dry sherry and laugh heartily about how awesome it is to be us, so that's nice, eh? Seriously though, I don't think there are a ton of benefits. I think those who see massive benefit are formulating a belief system around a simple human flaw, which is to see the grass as always greener on the other side. I tell people frequently how awesome it seems to me to be a woman in the modern day. How awesome that would be, the…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/21 10:11 PM
1

I want someone who makes me smile and makes me happy and inspires me, and who doesn't nag or go crazy and who isn't a headache. Everything else is negotiable.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 06:22 AM
4

Do you want all people to reach a state of maximum understanding and empathy with each other? Then you should reject modern feminism. Note that I said modern feminism. Earlier waves of feminism were more concerned with demonstrating women were capable, which they are. Yes, women can be astronauts and CEOs and all the rest, there is no doubt. That is different from saying that the only reason half of all CEOs aren't women is because of an evil oppressive patriarchy. And it's certainly different f…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 06:04 AM
1

I agree that it's silly to think of it as an all-or-nothing proposition. Why is it not possible that I really want to fuck you, in part, because I really like you and get along with you and am comfortable with you? Plus, it's so very obvious by men's reactions that a really cynical view does not make sense: Once upon a time I tried to make something happen with a girl I knew for years and was really into, and when it made our entire friendship fall apart, it fucking crushed my soul. All indicati…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/21 11:55 AM
1

I am not reading that. I do not care for your response. I genuinely do not care for the opinions of men who try to manipulate sex out of women and are deceitful. Lol. This is venturing into SJW parody at this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 06:15 AM
1

I'm not quite sure where to begin. I guess we can start with the idea that women have magical intuitions that allow them to see deep into the heart of every man they meet. I wonder why no one realizes that that is actually a seriously sexist thing to think. It's also not true. People wind up in marriages for years sometimes before discovering they never truly knew their spouses. The idea that you can tell these things with some kind of women's intuition is simply fictional. You read the first pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/21 03:50 AM
1

I think for the most part, men aren't that physically attractive. I think women often date us for reasons we can understand, and do share, but that women are missing that thing men get when we see the pretty young girl at the gym who strikes us like a ray of sunshine upon this Earth. So, I think the dropoff for men as women age is what makes it seem this way. It's not that older men are more attractive, it's that younger women are super attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 07:26 PM
–

Attraction is orthogonal to virtue. It's just it's own thing. My brother slept with well over 100 women in his life, had attractive younger women dating him and driving him around while he was living in a trailer park, would tell me stories from his youth of the seriously callous way he would treat girls he knew, was always talking about his current girlfriend to me behind her back, about how he was going to break up with her but just in it for the sex for now until he found something better, et…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/21 07:18 PM
1

A little bit of both. Porn usage is tied to larger changes in lifestyle that have all resulted in lack of in-person social and sexual contact. But it's also self-perpetuating. Here's something I never really hear, but is kinda true: Sex happens when you're bored. If the power went out and the internet died and TV was off the air, and you were forced to find something to do related to the other humans around you...well, we could have sex. That's something to do, right? Now that our attention isn'…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/21 07:11 PM
0

I like younger women, but how do you propose to make something the norm? I think better just limit the stigma and let people do what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 02:07 AM
2

I'm not on board. I'm not saying there is zero appeal to the idea of unblemished innocence, but I am saying that if I'm going to MARRY someone, I want them to be a person I enjoy being around. And a person I enjoy being around and have have fun with and relate to is probably not going to be some blushing innocent. I'm not saying this prediction couldn't happen, though. Something I've noticed is that a significant portion of the younger generation does have different sensibilities. Another way of…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 02:05 AM
1

Are you planning to spoil women you meet who you feel bring nothing to a relationship with you? If not, then when you meet her, it won't work out, and you'll never talk to her again, and you can go on to the next one. Problem solved.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 02:31 PM
1

The problem is that when you're dealing with people, you're dealing with so much uncertainty and variety, as well as so much that can be manipulated. I feel like anyone who is really really desiring to have a sex life with attractive partners can achieve some version of that, given the work and a certain amount of understanding. Couple that with the fact that most men are not solely attracted to model-esque women, and most men do not need to fuck 20 women a month to be happy, and a version of wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 02:28 PM
4

I think people simply don't understand how powerful social pressure and social norms are, how shaped we are by them, and how many people you meet are just going about it in a way they think/know will get a positive response. Comedians are often the worst in this regard, because they're people who for whatever reason need to go up on a stage and have an audience like them, and they based their entire lives around it. A lot of comedians outwardly are basically an act they came up with to deal with…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 07:10 AM
13

Well, clearly the male way of thinking is the much better way of thinking about the world, and I have an extensive and well thought-out rationale that calls upon logic and reason and philosophy and history and the importance of the scientific method of understanding that proves it from multiple angles. And, woman, I shall now explain that to you in detail. Wait...why are you angry at me?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 06:52 AM
1

Hotness isn't about perfection. Emma Watson being highly desirable works the same as some slightly schlubby male actor being super desirable, while the model-esque dudes are 'so perfect they're boring'. Also, realize men aren't involved in the race women have with each other to be the most desirable. We don't care, we just want who we want.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 02:00 PM
6

Relationship, no. But I had a friend in college who was sexual with me and she was a gorgeous blonde. Leagues don't make sense purely based on looks. As someone who has gone to both a 1st tier college and community college at different times in my life, I can tell you the girls at community college were hot AF, but you'd have an easier time with them than with the 6's at the high-end University, because the girls at the better school aren't fuck-ups.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 01:52 PM
4

It's so beyond me that anyone would be involved in a relationship like that over an extended period of time. In my mind, if the sex is not doing it for me, then why am I there? If we really like hanging out so much, we can do that while not being in a relationship while I continue the search for someone I can have mind-blowing sexual experiences with, which is 95% of the whole reason I'd be on a dating site or anywhere else going for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 01:38 PM
1

I think especially if you work out yourself you understand how much unending day-after-day for years it takes to get your muscles to look like that. They don't come easily. Also, regarding muscles not being that attractive...here's the deal: If you take me as an example, I'm someone who will tell you that he likes his women to be soft to the touch, and doesn't like hardbodies. And I mean it when I say it. However, that's me forgetting the times when I've gone to the gym and seen a woman bare mid…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 01:34 PM
3

I feel talked out, frustrated, and unable to relate to women in my age bracket. When younger I started out with a large group of friends I was fairly close to, including several girls. I made the mistake of hanging around them platonically for too long, while never getting to do anything sexual with them. So, already we had lots of "been there, done that" for platonic activities with women, but still super keen and curious for the sexual ones. Going on dating sites, the ratio of sex to chit chat…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 06:11 PM
2

I know why I might do that. That doesn't mean my thinking is similar to most women. I have some experience showing me it often isn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 04:28 AM
1

Here's a question: Why do we put so much stock on the first, detached from anything else? My experience is that getting your dick sucked one night by a random person doesn't really change all that much (my first time). I think we should see that as significantly different from, say, being in a relationship for a year.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 03:04 AM
5

So, I'm not looking at this as some kind of warfare like OP, I'm just looking at it as a counterproductive hypocrisy: If you want our relationship to be one where I see you as a person and not a goal, where we connect with each other, and where we can be human beings and open with each other, then don't put fucking arbitrary goalposts on when we get to have sex. That achieves literally the opposite of what you're going for: It demands I see sex with you as a destination I'm working toward, that …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 02:46 AM
5

How does the grooming work? For example, if I were to imagine a horny 18yo girl sitting at home alone, thinking she could do something naughty and exciting in posting her body and seeing people like it, and the thought to doing so turned her on, in what way was she 'groomed' to feel that way? I can see myself feeling that way if it were at all the case that women really wanted to see my body as a guy. I could understand being young leading you to not think about potential negative consequences a…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 12:59 AM
1

Yes, but obviously far less popular. And I don't really need anyone to explain male motivations to me, because I am male and I already get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 12:44 AM
2

The questions obviously represents the question I come to think about. People are perfectly free to say "no, that's totally wrong"
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/21 12:42 AM
1

My father, while once married to my mother, has been a bachelor for over 25 years now. Marriage really never suited him. After the divorce he dated one woman for several years, but since has been dating various women, often 3 at a time sometimes. He just doesn't think it's natural to be connected to one woman only. He's turning 80 this year, and still dating. This was probably how he was always supposed to live. It works for him - he's Mr. Social, always has plans with friends or girlfriends any…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/21 04:55 AM
2

I once took I picture I found by searching for "bro selfie", and used that as my Tinder photo, just to see what would happen. Lots of hits, most I didn't speak to, but I just happened to start a conversation with this one girl and I let her know quickly what I was doing. What's funny is that the "bro selfie" profile got another text from someone I had talked to as my actual self on another dating site, so I also texted her to let her know the deal. She thought it was hilarious.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 03:15 AM
1

Typically, I'm operating on the notion that women have sex drives, get horny, masturbate, enjoy fun, and are humans that like all other humans are social creatures who share and feed off of their connection to others. Done right, sex should be better than masturbation, and capable of taking you places you can't entirely go by yourself. So, given situation and opportunity, why not create a good memory and experience in the short time we have on this planet? I do think online dating messes with th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/21 03:10 AM
1

Okay, I'm quite incredulous to that. I don't mean I think you're lying, just that it seems astounding to me that that happened, and maybe I'd want to have been a fly on the wall to see exactly what happened. I dunno...Belgian guys? I tend to think of Europeans and being more enlightened and sophisticated than us Americans about sex, but maybe not. And I can't really speak to Tinder experience, because I simply don't get swiped there. I do alright on OKCupid, but never met someone off of Tinder.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 03:09 AM
1

First of all, you said you're in Belgium? Lol, go to bed. Did the things you're describing happen a lot, with multiple men? How many?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 03:02 AM
1

it's the same behavior that sociopathic people exhibit that makes me uncomfterable. Sociopathic people tend to pretend to be normal people. Deep down they don't care about you and are only in it for themselves, but they're not usually gonna advertise that. This is what confuses me. Can you give me an example? No. I'm old enough that none of it is blatant anymore. So guys were casually honking your boobs in your 20's and stopped when you hit 30? Really?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 02:44 AM
1

Like...the people that don't notice me being uncomfterable are the rare one's. I'm not hiding it. It's pretty damn obvious if you understand female behavior. Well I can't know what you're talking about without seeing it, but I kind of felt like saying "I don't think even other females understand female behavior" the moment I read that. Y'all are weird sometimes. I worry that you're talking about some head movement or subtle comment the kind of which I have missed many times in my life. Why would…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 02:25 AM
1

Or I don't date anyone that makes me feel like I have to say that in order for them to notice that I'm uncomfterable? How are they supposed to know that you feel that way, or why you are uncomfortable, if you don't tell them? I don't think you'll be dating any telepathic people any time soon. No. Getting away makes me feel safer. I guess I'm just not sure what you'd be getting away from, or what that would entail. If a guy smiles at you at work and it makes you uncomfortable, how are you 'gettin…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 01:32 AM
1

I think there should be a reasonable level of precaution you can take that will keep you reasonably safe. I mean, I don't think guys who talk to you at work are likely to rape you right there. You can avoid being alone in secluded public areas at night, tend to have people with you, etc. If you are dating, then you can set certain protocols in how you go about it with the guy, where you go, etc. I think you can say "I am someone who is just very fearful of a bad experience. So many things have h…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/21 01:16 AM
3

The solution isn't to increase my likelyhood of getting raped. I want to decrease your likelihood of getting raped. The way I see it the issues between men and women are best minimized by promoting the maximum amount of connection and understanding possible. This is why I talk about 'creepy' guys as sometimes guys who've been made to feel they have to skulk in the shadows about their sexuality, because they've heard it makes them pigs or dogs or predators who are scary and unwanted and criminal.…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 09:11 PM
3

Well I'm certainly sorry for you or your friends' negative experiences, but I've known a certain amount of people as well, and that does seem on the extreme side of things. It makes me wonder where you live and the like. But let's say you're right and it's far more prevalent than I think. What do I do with that? I have no desire to rape anyone, I just want to find some shred of happiness and joy in my life instead of only dreaming about it. I see a woman, and I immediately get the scenario in my…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 08:09 PM
1

Yes an no. It's like being starving, and asking if you want to never feel hungry again. Yes, starving sucks, but I don't never want to feel hungry, I want a fucking steak, and I want to feel how amazing it feels to get a steak after being hungry for so long.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 06:54 PM
2

No, it's because they're the same triggers as this guy gives off: That guy represents, at best, like 1% of the male population. He's a rarity. There are high-functioning charmers who might have a sociopathic mindset, but that allows them to do well with women, not badly, and they're not the guys you're talking about I don't think. Most of men you encounter are going to have something else going on. And I'd like to not be afraid. Then don't be afraid. What's the correct amount of fear? Fear is a …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 06:45 PM
4

You have to define better what you mean by creepy behavior. You made me look to dig up an old post I made about creep shaming, and this is what I said: The fundamental idea of creepy is that it represents a social disconnect, and that can take many forms: If you feel like people aren't going to accept you, you approach them in a timid and weird way, and that can come off as creepy. This can lead to a deadly spiral of reinforcement, to where someone just expects it. If, OTOH, you feel no fear tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 06:04 PM
4

Well I can understand that on some level, but I think there's a couple of problems. If I could similarly break the rules of the universe like you, it would involve me going to work at an office where all the attractive women liked to flirt with me, where I might casually smack their butt on the way past, and have them like it, and for some of them to be horny pervs for whom nothing sounds more interesting than taking me in the back room on break and have me do naughty things to them, 3 or 4 at a…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 05:17 PM
2

I like to simply say that attraction is orthogonal to virtue. Sometimes it can appear correlated, sometimes inversely correlated, sometimes seem to have nothing to do with it at all. That's because it's its own thing, simple as that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 04:30 PM
3

It's not about sleeping with people you find hot, it's about creating a rule paradigm where being not hot, or shy and awkward, is basically being made a crime. There's this classic Saturday Night Live sketch about one aspect of that. I would just like women to understand that sometimes when they 'feel uncomfortable', it's not because the man is doing something wrong, and we can't base the rules on how you feel.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 04:26 PM
10

I'm not really talking about someone's personal rules, I'm talking about the rules men are almost instructed to follow. For example: Don't hit on coworkers. I've had any number of women almost lecture me in a "learn to behave" way about the wrongness of hitting on people you work with. Meanwhile, I know a dude who had not just a coworker, but a subordinate, who he had a flirty thing with at work with where he would smack her on the ass whenever she'd walk by. She'd tell him how turned on it woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 04:13 PM
2

I certainly get the comfort thing, I just have trouble with the idea that it's the ONLY thing. I'm a guy who has looked at porn and had fantasies about casual encounters with women virtually every day since he was 13, and not all of that is about visual attraction, but about ideas and scenarios that I find compelling. Having some of that stuff actually happen before you're dust in the ground, as we all shall be one day, seems like a major thing in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 06:00 AM
1

I haven't really gone over to Red Pill in a while, but is this literally what they advocate to do?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 04:11 AM
83

I think this is something women need to realize: Men hear all these rules for their behavior, and then they watch some guy break every single one of those rules and get away with it and women wanting to be with him for it. How are men not supposed to call bullshit on those rules, then?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 03:56 AM
3

Not just that. I'm a guy, but I think there's something universal about appeals of seduction. We all want to feel good. We all want to feel free to let go of our hangups and worries and give in to pleasure. We're all mostly social creatures who feed off the energy of those around us. We all want to live and experience and feel with what short time we have on this planet. Unless you have a really low libido, I find it hard to believe someone who knew what they were doing would be incapable of sho…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 03:55 AM
1

Are we talking any casual sex? To me there's all the difference in the world between an awkward, fumbling, disconnected encounter and a super hot encounter. What is it about a relationship that makes the sex hotter than either of those?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/21 03:50 AM
1

Well the privilege comes in the form of that fact that people will continue to champion her feelings and 'always believe women' about her perceptions, and there will be no accounting for the hypocrisy of how men are treated in this.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/21 05:17 PM
2

Feminism was originally supposed be about saying that women could do those things. It was against people saying "You want to get a Physics PhD? Lol, that's cute. You're a woman, go be a nurse." And getting rid of those assumptions is entirely supportable. At no point was it supposed to be about social engineering, or shaming women about being housewives, or even making Physics easier, so that we get an exact equal number of women Physicists. That's just loony. Similarly, if some woman really wan…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/21 05:11 PM
2

I just had a memory from a LONG time ago pop up and 'trigger' me: Girl I knew in high school, who didn't like me, ultimately thought I was a creep, because I was nervous and really liked her and was not socially gifted. Never touched her once, never did anything but talk to her and ask her to prom, but the term "sexual harassment" was used in reference to me, which simultaneously freaked me the fuck out, and broke my heart a little bit, because I really liked this girl. There was another guy in …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/21 05:02 PM
2

It varies from woman to woman. A google search found me this page with some celebrities with and without makeup, so as an example: Cardi B here honestly doesn't look that great either way. And in general I hate the rap skank look. Kylie Jenner looks more appealing without. She looks adorable. Ariana Grande looks better without. Ditch the fake eyelashes and she'd look like an actual human. Gwen Stefani is probably equally attractive with/without. Lady Gaga looks better with. Her whole persona is …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 09:53 PM
1

I think the more accurate way to put is that the guys who are being chosen over the nice guys are not purely irredeemable assholes, but just guys who exhibit a certain degree of confident masculinity that seems to allow them to "break the rules" that the nice guy thought he was supposed to follow.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/21 09:33 PM
1

So here's what men deal with: On one side, society is telling them they are dangerous, aggressive creeps who's sexuality is scary and unwanted, and being shown examples about how men who aggressively pursue women are a problem, and how they will be forever labeled the most disgusting of all humans if they do that. Men, on one level, want to do what women want, and what women ask of them, because we want to be worthy. We want to be inspired by that image of the feminine that strikes us when we se…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/21 02:52 PM
1

Here's the wrinkle: Men, especially young men, see in attractive women a reflection of something profound and beautiful and inspiring. They see a idealized human, and they expect you to live up to it. This is why the crash and the disgust is sometimes so pronounced when women fail to live up to that. On some level, you're supposed to be rewarding the most deserving men, and if you're shallow or selfish with your power, you're a 'slut'. It also ruins the paradigm where men get inspired to go out …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 02:48 PM
8

It sounds terrible, but I think one of the damages online dating has done is to give people a clearer picture of where they are in the pecking order. Once upon a time, you could be an attractive woman who didn't really understand how attractive she was. Your social circle was small enough, and maybe you experienced dating a man or men who made you feel like crap, that you didn't realize how desirable you were. I knew a few gorgeous women who had no conception of how hot they were, and it helped …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 02:26 PM
2

Different people carry weight differently. This (non-nude, but NSFW) is an OnlyFans girl who gets a decent amount of attention. Someone else with her same body fat percentage may not look nearly as good.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 01:35 PM
2

No, this doesn't work. The problem is that relationships are one person for a long time, so you're going to take a lot of time and be very picky about who you enter into that with. Plus, if you're spending time talking to someone you just want to bang, you're very likely not going to connect with them as well as someone who actually, authentically, is a good relationship match for them, and you're going to lose out to them, as you probably should. So, this would involve a lot of long-term non-se…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/21 01:23 PM
1

Nowadays? I can certainly see that 10 years ago. At the very least, it seems like something that would be terribly inefficient.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 11:22 PM
1

For me, you've got it completely the opposite. If I had the choice, a more chaste woman would be ideal. I often have fantasies, for example, about showing a woman certain things for the first time, and that becomes so impossible in our modern world where no one is really 'innocent' about sex anymore. The high n-count woman is appealing might be appealing for being 'easy' in the short term, but she's not viewed as as much of a catch ultimately. And I actually think there almost like a certain amo…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 11:04 PM
8

Physical strength. It's mostly useless in the modern world. No one needs me to defend against the rival tribe and drag a deer carcass back to camp. Yes, I could probably overpower you in a situation that got physical, but that would be illegal, and the cops have guns and stuff, which my bigger muscles aren't going to do shit against.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 10:59 PM
2

but it seemed like he thought it would give him more power over me to not be talking to me everyday Yeah, this is exactly the idea. It's a learned behavior to do the aloof "I'm a guy who doesn't need you" thing so as to appear high value. Unfortunately, it works, and you're experiencing that now. There's something about telling people they're not worth your time that just hits some people so unacceptably hard, they just have to prove you wrong by showing you how amazing they are and earning thei…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 10:48 PM
2

I remember the first time I tried using a dating app in the 2000's. First day, I got a message from a decent-looking girl who shared some of my interests without even having posted a photo. I also knew people who went on dates with someone who didn't have a photo posted, can you imagine that now? I also remember how shitty and obvious some of my tactics were, but that they worked, at least on a few girls. Like, literally it was the "I'm different" pitch in it's most obvious form. But people hadn…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 07:05 AM
1

The problem is I just have incurable narcissistic tendencies. Sometimes the volume can get turned down on them, but at the end of the day a big part of me doesn't want a partner, it wants a fan. I want to perform and impress and blow people minds and have women all want to drop their panties for me because of it. To top it off, I'm a self-aware narcissist, so I can't even buy my own bullshit about being an amazing potential partner; I know this is not something most people want to be around long…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 06:54 AM
1

There's a lot of discussion here about right and wrong, but not a lot about how wrong. People like their absolutes, and simple answers. Just 'all violence bad', tie it in a neat bow, and feel comforted. One problem with that is that the more idealistic people get about it, the more strict and absolute they become. So, a slap is this gigantic, unacceptable dive into pure evil, no quarter. I find this really unhelpful. I much prefer to say that this is something this guy really probably should not…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 05:54 AM
1

Why should women have equality? Which specific forms of equality should women have? Equality under the law is definitely a desirable thing. This is not the same as claiming that men and women are exactly the same. Imagine if a refugee center stocked the same number of tampons for men as they did for women. This would of course be silly, and no one would be for that. But we come so very close to supporting certain things in the name of equality that may be equally silly. The problem comes form th…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/21 05:41 AM
1

I'd like to repost in better from that isn't a rant, but I'm having trouble understanding how it's a rant in the first place. To me it's a basic setup and explanation, followed by a clear question. What do you want me to change?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/21 09:44 PM
3

Hating the rest of humanity is becoming more common because everyone is exposed to so much negative experience on social media and the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/21 03:12 AM
1

Well the reason to do it is what I mentioned: There's tremendous power there. Couple that with the fact that I find humans as people frequently disappointing, and you're just never going to get a scenario where I discover her as a person is so much more wonderful than that image I had of her. The image has pretty much been way superior every single time. So, I kind of lament deeply that a younger me never got to be with a woman in a situation where the idealization was preserved. No one I meet n…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 07:15 PM
1

I'll make this short and sweet as possible: If I'm pursuing women as women; as an idea, connected to an idealized notion of the feminine, connected to things like innocence and purity, then yes, knowing she fucked the football team is kind of a problem. If I'm pursuing women looking for a buddy, someone who shares my perspective, and get horny and has naughty ideas sometimes like I do, then I really don't care that much that she had casual sex. The problem I run into, and I think many men do, is…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 08:31 AM
10

I need that something indescribable but you just know when it's right. were kind, sweet men but we just didn't click I don't know how old these women are, but it's a common trend I see of women having lesser ability or incentive to step back and realize what it is about men that attracts them. Always this 'I dunno, just a certain something' stuff. You really can't self-analyze better than that? Maybe I was that blind when I was 18 years old, but pretty quickly after I could have told you with br…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 08:26 AM
2

Well let's start with the obvious - r/AskWomen is a social media community filled with people with a grudge, who are reacting and responding to negative influence in a vicious cycle. Welcome to the internet. Beyond that, I think what you're seeing is two contradictory influences at work: 1. Women still psychologically feel like they have the 'find a man to take care of them' option in life, whereas men grow up knowing that no one is gonna do that for them. 2. Women have been told they live in an…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 08:20 AM
1

Well I'm not a major RP visitor, but I've only heard tangentially of any of those guys. I do criticize RP, for the same reason I criticize any idea base that claims to have "all the answers". They don't. I do think there are pieces of decent advice there, though. But the main thing I support is that RP hits on something men have been lied to about growing up, and offers a place for frustrated or confused men to find some community and sense of what might have actually been going on in their live…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/21 08:10 AM
1

I won't get totally into it, it's complicated. I will tell you there was a time in my life when I couldn't even leave the house without getting a panic attack, so progress is relative. I will also say that there's always been a disconnect for me between perception and reality when it comes to these things. For me, what's worthwhile about me are my ideas. When I do have 'accomplishments', like getting a Master's degree, or the fact that I've had a regular gym habit for a while now and am making g…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 07:27 PM
1

What is love to you? I fell in love with someone senior year of high school. Never dated, just talked, but she grew in my mind to the point where, holy shit, I was in love. To this day, there's something there if I see a picture of her. Those eyes, just this sense from the depths of unconsciousness of her being 'the one' and us meaning to be together. But, it didn't go well. I fell in love in a very 'guy' way, where it was the way she reflected that image of feminine ideal to me. That stuff can …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 03:12 PM
1

I really don't know anything about that stuff, although I suppose I could learn, but I don't know who would invest in the projects I have in mind anyway. I think the ideas are great, but they're not the kind of thing you'd invest in.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 05:13 AM
1

Don't really have any meaningful degree of funds to do that with.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 05:09 AM
1

Sure, and different ideals is fine. Like I said in the OP, I have frequently got the sense that many people view something approaching your ideal as the only appropriate way to be about life.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 02:30 AM
1

I wonder if part of the appeal, and conversely lack of appeal, is that men often feel like we're on our own; no one is going to take care of us. If we want women, in some sense that means we then also have to take care of them. For women, I imagine a sense that the guy is going to allow you to relax, and he'll shoulder the burden of certain things, so there's this sigh of relief there. There's no similar sigh of relief on my end.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 02:11 AM
1

Well I think this goes to what I'm talking about, in a way. I would agree for your conception of what the ideal and the goal is, then yes, an age gap relationship could potentially be problematic. I quite simply want to do things I'm interested in, and not do things I'm not interested in. I'm driven by my passions and curiosities, and on a basic level just look out at the world and think "No, no interest." "Yeah, kinda interested." "Ooh, super interested in doing that." And so that dictates what…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 01:55 AM
1

and it sucks the youth out of us I've never heard that before, and it sounds like a very blanket statement. Where are you getting that idea from?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 01:17 AM
1

I'd like to think so, but I think even in the phrase 'healthy relationship' in the implication of a certain thing, which would be more limited than my view of what a potential healthy relationship would be.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/21 01:05 AM
1

Well to my mind I was hearing an assertion about how they thought everyone should/shouldn't be, which isn't about believing someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 10:23 PM
0

I definitely think how we were raised influences our thinking on this, sure. I fell HARD for the idea that it would all work out for me, like it did for the guy in the story, etc. I also fell for certain ideals I was taught, and it took time to look back and realize those ideals had nothing to do with the actual interactions that were going on. The thing about age gap relationships is that the idea appeals to me because I get the appeal on the other end. I was once a younger guy with a thing for…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 09:49 PM
1

That's fine. Again I was seeing it as others trying to tell me 'everyone should be like this'. I'm not trying to do the reverse. It almost makes me want to ask a follow-up question about where you might be getting the feeling of being forced to be a way other than you are. DO you feel that way?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 09:29 PM
1

Well I won't go into it, but I tend to get stuck in the weeds, and also I'm thinking about COVID being over for when I try to turn a new leaf.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 09:27 PM
1

You definitely don't. But in conversations I've had about this, I'm not getting "Oh, well I tend to think this way and want this, to each his own." Instead I'm getting "Well of course everyone should think this way, and if you don't there's something wrong with you and you're part of the problem." It echos a sense I've gotten in the past talking on feminist boards, where, as a guy, you sometimes feel like you're in a version of conversion therapy, with people trying to tell you 'how you feel is …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 09:25 PM
1

I would LOVE to do various projects I have on my mind, but the difficulty is finding people and funding.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 09:16 PM
3

I tend to crave a sense of belonging, much more than anything else. I want to be with 'my people'. I had a group of friends out of high school that felt like that for me, but naturally that drifts apart. Now, I tend to do things like see certain groups of people out in the world, and wish to death I was part of that group. That's way more powerful to me than a need to be around one particular person.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 09:13 PM
0

Well I'm certainly not trying to invalidate your happiness, I just don't see how that would be for me. Even if you take something simple, like, say, a moment where a girlfriend is telling me about her day at work - My brain is calibrated to be obsessed with whatever idea its involved with at the time, or to want to talk about the thing that's got me revved up. And that's all it wants to do. So, the auto reaction to hearing about her day in my head is, "Day at work? Is that relevant to what we're…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 09:10 PM
1

I'm not looking for universal consensus, I'm just wondering where a sizable amount of people got these ideas from. It certainly seems different from what you would have heard from people 20 years ago, so why the change? And they seem so certain about it. Maybe it's my flaw that I'm never certain about things, and always a forever doubting/skeptic kind of person, so when I see someone sure of an idea, I assume they must have really good reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 08:55 PM
2

I think there's something reasonable to this. I just can't shake some perspectives, like the ones asking me how old I am - My father was married to my mother for around 25 years, then they divorced, and in his 50's he got in better shape and started dating around. He tried getting married one more time, but it was a terrible mistake. Mostly he was with different women on and off for certain amounts of time, sometimes dating several at one time, and he basically still does that. He's about to tur…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 08:52 PM
0

Adventure, I think is the key word. No one seems to want adventure. Or, their idea of adventure is something so bland that it's depressing. That ideal relationship type seems like something based on safety and sameness and uneventfulness.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 08:39 PM
4

We do indeed need to work, and I do. But again, it feels like the opposite - the more I might have a long and stressful work day, the more I need something to balance that out. And what am I working for if not toward goals, and something to look forward to? If I never get to do anything interesting or fulfilling or the like, what is the point of it all?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 08:30 PM
2

It's interesting that you view this as purely transactional. Something that's missing here is that people connect with people they get, understand, and share perspective and common ground with. So why would I feel that more for someone whose relationship ideal is so alien to me? If you take the classic Sam Kinison perspective on marriage, you might begin to realize how deeply unhappy some men can be in settled-down suburban hell. In a way, I think you could almost say that that is the transactio…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 08:24 PM
2

See, for me the understanding that I'm going to die one day makes me think about the moments and experiences I want to have while I'm alive. It makes me want to do those things more, not less.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 07:51 PM
2

What would you call a relationship between people who have similar kinks, make each other crazy horny, and like to meet up on the weekend to do stuff, but otherwise just like to live their own lives and remain casual friends otherwise?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 07:46 PM
1

Well I would have preferred question for all, but that wasn't an option.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 07:37 PM
1

What if you're not planning to have kids?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 07:36 PM
3

I think it's more that the people I'm talking to who have that idea are young. Which is part of my confusion about where they learned it from.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/21 07:33 PM
1

I'm going to use "only crackheads talk to people" at a later date.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 06:27 PM
1

At the bus stop. Wow, you must have a sad life if you never talk to anyone new. I'm fairly sure yours is not a healthy prescription for the rest of society.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 06:13 PM
1

How so? That's like saying if you try to engage in some friendly chit chat with a stranger at the bus stop that can only be because you feel entitled to their attention and think you God's gift to lonely bus stop people. No, humans interact because we're social creatures, and most of us basically shrivel and die if we don't get interaction. Social isolation takes significantly more years off someone's life on average than smoking and obesity combined.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 05:46 PM
1

What does that have to do with anything?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 05:29 PM
2

It's not overanalyzing, and it did happen, and it's actually a very intelligent way to illustrate the issue in a really clear and presentable way, but whatever. You the mod.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 05:28 PM
1

I'd wager a very large sum of money that if we found that girl and asked her now she'd either not remember it, or laugh at the notion that a moment of flirtation was supposed to be horrible and traumatic for her.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 05:25 PM
1

Is it really so beyond your conception that she could have been having fun too?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 05:22 PM
1

What would have been the high effort version? I know this is a little thing, but i think illustrates the issue very well. You don't want me to dress it up in pseudoscience and a few BS statistics or something, do you?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 05:21 PM
1

Did you miss the conception that the first example was a positive bit of fun human interaction? I mean, let's just have all humans leave each other alone at all times, and never interact for fear it might be taken badly. That's sure to make everyone super happy, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 05:17 PM
1

Well I think it's worth exploring why women might have a similar general libido to men, but also not sometimes enjoy sex as much. I mean, that's a pretty interesting thing worth thinking about the cause of, right? I think it's partially physical, penis vs. clitoris stuff. But I also think men just get an extra layer of immediate desire. Beautiful women are very powerful to men, in a way independent of anything else about them. So, that pretty girl you just got your mind blown by acting out your …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 02:48 PM
3

I feel like a broken record, but the difference is this: Men see attractive women as the representation of a powerful feminine ideal. An ideal capable of giving, in the words of one author, "worth, self-worth, meaning, initiation, sustenance, everything." This is why men who don't get sex or attention from women fall into despair. It's also why they get the idea in their heads that such women are supposed to act in an ideal manner, and why they get disgusted and call her a 'slut' when she takes …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 02:27 PM
9

I think what you're hitting on is that confidence is something that's hard to fake. Saying "just be confident" doesn't make people confident. And often nothing comes off worse than trying to fake confidence. Something that's terribly wrong with all the finger wagging at men is that men want to be worthy of women, and take that shit to heart. A person who thinks he's a terrible person and doesn't like themselves is a person who's actually more likely to do terrible things, and be unkind and gener…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 01:28 PM
4

I think the best way to understand it is that men see in attractive women a representation of the feminine ideal. So when those women behave in a way contrary to that ideal, it's seen as disgusting and wrong. Imagine you had in your possession a magical device that could change people lives for the better, and you decided to use it based entirely on your own personal whims. Sad person who could really need it? Good person who deserved it? Person who worked hard to be worth of it? You don't care.…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/21 01:05 PM
1

I'm mostly concerned that it be a sexual relationship. I'm not opposed to other things, but...realize I've just been through so much, first of all. Years and years of being around female friends, wanting to do more with them, the pain of seeing them hook up with other guys, and engaging in an endless stream of meals and movies and platonic conversations and all the rest. And all the conversations I've had with women on dating sites or elsewhere, hoping to get somewhere. Been there, done that. Pl…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/21 12:27 PM
4

Girls: "Ugh, I hate how boys are like this. It's so unattractive." Boy: "I'm not like that!" Girls: "Oh...that's even less attractive."
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 07:43 PM
1

But what is the source of how you felt? It was your inability to handle the situation, right? I did a CMV post a few months back about the limited times in my life I was 'sexually assaulted'. And it's amazing the lengths people will go to, as they do here, to try and justify why it must have been something when it was nothing. I actually mentioned this current post to my mother, and tried very hard to explain to her how some people insist it either must have been a big deal to hear, and she's 'b…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 06:40 PM
1

I think it partially depends on what you're looking for. I enjoy the interaction and dynamic with someone younger. I tutor privately, and sometimes I'll get a pretty college girl as a student, and I really like being able to make her smile and laugh, and to see her reactions to things. I'm the kind of person who would rather show someone a great movie or song I've always loved for the first time, and see their reaction, than to share the initial experience together. Also, honestly, I like to be …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 12:08 PM
1

-- and i don't mean to shame you for your attraction, but it's uncommon to not see yourself aging and not find women around your age with their experience and maturity attractive as well i'd say. This is what I always figured when I was your age. I think the reality is that you do see people differently to some degree, but it's not this automatic thing where your own age becomes the most attractive. Sure, 18 looks different to me now, but 40 doesn't look like 18 did when I was 18. 70 year old me…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 09:32 AM
1

Right, that's kind of the idea I always thought as well, in contrast to what you were saying. Do you disagree with that?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 09:18 AM
1

Responsibility implies something you have to do because there are consequences if you do not. If two people engage in the 'benefits', as you say, and don't do anything else, where does it come back to bite them? Why are those other 'responsibilities' required, in other words?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/21 09:03 AM
-1

The closest I have is a niece, and I'd be surprised if she dated someone 20 years older, she's not the type, but no I really don't think I would automatically go where you're going with it. She's not a stupid girl, so if she decides she wants that, well I guess that's what is happening. I would be interested to discuss it with her, because like I said I would be surprised. I'm curious what general region of the world you're hailing from. According to this article I just searched for, women view …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 10:35 PM
1

If I had a nickel for every time a woman around 50 hit on me in the past few years...well I'd have like 7 nickels, but point being that happens more than a 20 or 30yo woman hitting on me. On dating sites, getting hits from women a few years older is a pretty regular thing as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 10:28 PM
-2

I so very clearly state I recognize it as a turn on for men. There are enough women watching 'chick gets brutally anally gangbanged by 12 guys' on porn sites for me to conclude that power dynamics may not be exclusively a turn on for men only. I really do think your complete lack of operating anywhere in this mindset is just about you and not women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 09:32 PM
-1

I'm completely not sure who I mentioned what to at this point, but I had a crush on a few MILFs when I was in my 20s, and the things you mention: Power, maturity, experience, WERE a big part of the turn on. The age gap wasn't a bug, it was a feature. I kid of regret that that doesn't work for me anymore, because now that I am that age, the mystique of being that age is gone. I just find it very hard to understand how some people cannot think of things like superior power, maturity, and experienc…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 09:04 PM
1

I suppose so, although it's not a one-night-stand kind of thing. I was more into those female friends because of the time we spent together getting to know each other. It's kind of like I wanted to mess around with the girls I was familiar and comfortable with, and where there had been a buildup of time and familiarity. The idea that that would lead away from sex, or that a sexual relationship was something that you then needed to go do formal dating for, was what made no sense to me. I feel lik…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 05:29 PM
1

Did you ever actually ask any of them out? Yes. Although it's funny because I look back and wonder how anything I did and any moment possibly made any lick of sense if I wasn't interested the whole time. I also had trouble because while I knew the protocol was a date, I didn't actually want a date. Like I said, I liked the dynamic we had, I didn't want to change it to dating. I thought that was just something expected of you. I simply wanted to be able to engage sexually with them. Instead of wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 04:37 PM
1

Okay. I just think that a better understanding could keep you from feeling that way as much. If instead of creepy predator you see human who you get how they feel, you tend to be less afraid, and able to handle that person better. It's like if I were to now encounter some 13yo kid from my past who bullied me in Jr. High. Of course I wouldn't be afraid of him, I would now see him as a little boy who doesn't know shit. His mindset would be transparent to me, and thus not remotely intimidating. If …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 04:31 PM
2

You just sound like someone who missed out on the early years of fooling around before settling down and are now trying to relive those years. There's probably a lot of truth to that. So of course I'm curious to know why you think that's even less attractive, and also what you expect me to do about it. I mean, what other options are there but to try and move forward and find what I want the best I can?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 04:18 PM
1

Well a couple of things. First: I am reminded of a low-list celebrity I had a big crush on in my 20's, when she was early 40's. Not some supermodel, just someone I was into for whatever reason. And I had a few MILF crushes back then. Why? Because the idea of the age gap was the sexy thing. The older, skilled woman, in an area of life I can idealize, showing me things, etc. That was pretty damn hot to consider. Now that I am that age, that doesn't work so much - imagining that woman at 40 is actu…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 04:09 PM
-1

Again, I never thought of marriage as the ideal. Everyone I knew got divorced, and I was pretty sold on the idea that humans weren't meant to be with each other for 50 years. There was no 'build my life with' thinking, it was more of you meet people, you stay with them for as long as it's good, and then you move on to the next thing. I'm actually surprised how much the idea of marriage as outdated has disappeared. I would have thought it would get more popular. I just wanted to be able to fuck t…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 03:57 PM
0

My main reason to be creeped out is that I started to get approached by much older men when I barely was a teen. Like a person gets a fear of dogs if they got bitten as a child, a lot of women get disgust for older men going for them because they met some predatory dude in their childhood/teen years. That's interesting. My niece had to go through something similar, because she was tall and physically developed by 12/13. Guys would state at her all the time. I never talked with her about it. Like…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 03:46 PM
0

Why do you assume everyone is or was looking for a long-term partner? It's only fairly recently in life I started considering marriage as anything but a sham, or a single sex partner forever as anything but a compromise. You get women on dating sites who are clearly desperate to marry up, and it's perplexing to me. Why do you want to spend forever with someone you're not even that into? They're doing the nervous, bland likable attempt that some young dude trying to get laid does, but they want i…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 03:39 PM
1

You don't ever have to fuck a single person you don't want to. But your response to me trying to lay out one pathway to possible understanding was 'nope don't care at all'. You argument is circular - they're creeping on you because you find it creepy, and you find it creepy because you see them as creeping on you. If instead you saw a human with motivations you can understand, possibly you might find it less creepy? Again, this does not mean you're going to want to sleep with them more, but obvi…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 03:31 PM
1

So...you're telling me you're kind of a callous shithead then?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 03:03 PM
0

As I asked the comment below, I'm curious what you think those guys stories typically are. I'd also ask what you think it's going to be like to get older. Getting older is a very blink-and-you'll-miss-it thing. You're still you, but now you're this other age. An age that you think about people being in the past and go "No way, I'm that now? That can't be right." Right now you probably have an image of who you will be at 40, and it's wrong. It's going to be you, as you are right now, possibly wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 01:58 PM
1

I agree with you. I assume there's something wrong with a guy older than me if he can't find a woman his own age. Why do you think it's that they can't find women their own age? Possibly finding women their own age might be easier, not harder? I'm curious, the guys you see doing that, what do you think their story is?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 01:39 PM
-2

You're speaking for every woman everywhere, I'm sure you understand how that doesn't work. If nothing else, I'm reminded of female friends at 18 obsessing over older celebrities, including Keith Richards who was in his 50s. I don't think they were faking it. My brother dated a 26yo when he was 39 or 40. Several of the women I knew in high school married men 10 or so years older. I had a conversation with someone a couple months ago who went back to college to take some classes at age 40 and met …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 10:18 AM
-1

Why do you think it's unfair for younger women to not be attracted to you but then it's fair for you not to be attracted to women your own age? Because men are women aren't exactly the same? Go just about anywhere - a relationship advice site, a couples retreat, etc. and you'll be informed about the fact that older man/younger woman is more common than younger man/older woman. I mean, it a way, I feel like you must be being deliberately naive if you pretend to not be aware of this. Evolutionaril…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 09:07 AM
1

Then see a therapist. I've been to a couple in my time, and not one ever told me they thought my sexuality was weird or problematic. In fact a female therapist reflected the sentiment that the girl I told you about did - "I don't understand...you're telling me that you're a man attracted to women. Why do you think that's a problem?" Is it not possible some significant percent of the population just doesn't think like you about this, and that that's okay? Yeah, that's why I said "poor impulse con…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 07:45 AM
1

I agree I don't have to worry about pregnancy. But even when I was in high school there was always this sense of "you go girl!" when girls expressed sexual desire, and "ugh, men, what pigs" whenever boys did. And I think that's only gotten worse. And so many movies I grew up with made a villain out of the oppressive male. So that's what I learned. I very much liked having female friends I hung out with. We joked and flirted around, and I thought that was a perfect lead in for sex. Or even, just …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 07:23 AM
1

One, that's a terrible analogy because you can die if you don't eat. No one has ever died from not having sex. I can't take credit for this response, but this is a version of a common refrain, and the response is to talk about experiments run with baby primates: They presented a baby primate with two options. One was a doll who was covered in hair and had a texture of a real primate mother, but that did not produce milk. The other was a cold metal doll that did produce milk. The baby primate spe…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 07:05 AM
0

And since I don't want kids, sex is only good for orgasms... which I can just as easily give myself (and usually better than most of the people I've been with). I don't know whether to envy you or feel sorry for you. As in the except I gave you in the other reply, sex can be much more powerful for men. Heck, I've smiled ear to ear just getting a little attention a hand on my cheek from the right woman. So, this perhaps goes very much to the difference in mindset.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 06:31 AM
1

But if that's the mentality, you don't get to complain about the response you get. The response in terms of "no thanks"? Sure. The response in terms of their job being threatened, a harassment lawsuit, and being seen as a horrible human for doing it? Less OK. I don't know if you're ever heard this, but there's an idea that women test men. IOW, part of the reason women don't want to help men do better is because deep down women want men who can overcome, and don't give a shit about men who have p…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 05:53 AM
-6

I'm currently 40. A little after age 30, I started realizing I was in trouble. The girls my age on my facebook feed were starting to change, and some of them were becoming less attractive to me for the first time. It also hit me that all my fantasies, porn and otherwise, of being with a certain girl of a certain age, might not be something I was building toward in my future, but actually something drifting farther away from my grasp, possibly never to happen. That freaked me the fuck out. I went…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 05:13 AM
-2

If they hope it is well-received, why do they not seem to take a second to consider whether it will be? Well I can't speak for everyone, but I think a lot of guys, including me, overthink and over-worry. I see a girl at the gym or what not, and I want to approach, I ultimately want to touch, but I'm very worried about it going bad on a few levels. But I'm also considering that nothing ventured, nothing gained, and you have to realize that men learn they often have to take risks to get anywhere, …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 04:38 AM
0

What is creepiness though, particularly in this context? I tend to think of creepiness as a social disconnect, so the question becomes why there is a disconnect. Partially, I think it's because of what modern women do not understand about men. What is it you would specifically find disturbing? Their age? Their unattractiveness? How they went about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 03:38 AM
-1

Possibly because part of the conscious or unconscious reason he put in those extra hours in law school, or wherever else, was so that one day he could be in a position of power where he could do something about his desire to have attractive women want to be with him. I tend to think Peterson, for all his faults, nails it on this. And if you understand the dynamic he's trying to describe, you can understand more how just yelling at men to behave and not care is not going to work.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 03:34 AM
-4

Well again I think you mostly miss what's actually going on if you think of it in terms of 'entitlement'. Personally speaking, the last thing I want is to have my escalation met with fear or disgust, and I think that's true for most men. If I were to dare to go for some kind of physical contact, I would be hoping it was received well. Men who feel otherwise are either indifferent and antisocial in some way, or have a grudge or something that makes them want to make women feel uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 03:27 AM
-4

Well I think if you come at it from the perception of men getting away with something, that could make sense. But I think greener grass and a natural perception distortion we all have sometimes leads women to think about men doing this in more of a "Ha, isn't this great. We're so powerful and there's nothing they can do!" sense than it usually is. In men's minds, women often have the power. When I look at Cuomo, for example, I see a fumbling attempt to succeed with a younger woman by a desperate…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/21 02:57 AM
1

It's a private community, mind giving me the jist?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/21 02:13 AM
2

Exactly what is 'Maintain Frame'?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/21 01:57 AM
5

You know, just when I think I've got a reasonable handle on things, a certain amount of confidence, and a conviction for the person I want to be, I find myself unable to sleep at night because a girl at the gym had an amazing ass. Seriously. I mean, plenty of women at the gym are attractive, but this one just struck me, and I got in my own head, bad. I felt helpless to do anything about it, because I'm just going to be an annoying or creepy dude interrupting some girl's workout at the gym if I s…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/21 01:42 AM
6

It's not necessarily about the sex. As someone else put it, a one sentence disproof that men in despair like that only want sex is that they would just pay an escort or something instead of falling into a depression spiral. But fall into depression and despair they indeed do, so clearly something more is going on.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/21 01:22 AM
26

Well that's kind of like saying, "Stop mentioning how painfully depressed you are, it's not fun." You expect or hope when you reach out in emotional pain to your peers and friends that people who care about you will respond with empathy and compassion. Sure, no one likes a constant complainer, but I think you have to realize what happens when people reach out like that and get coldness back. You know what happens? Psychopathy. At least, that's what happens with babies who literally reach out to …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/21 01:09 AM
5

What do you find interesting? I guarantee you it's different from what I find interesting. You mention 'being online', but I find the cadenza from Prokofiev's 2nd piano concerto to be incredibly interesting, and my favorite in the repertoire, and so I was just listening to that online recently. I've also spent many, many hours of my life trying to play said piano cadenza to my satisfaction. You really think that works for getting women? Maybe a very select few, but most women either have no idea…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 07:17 PM
0

My problem is that no one seems interested in the question "why?" We went to blame and accuse, but not to understand. It's almost as if men are seen as being predisposed to random asshole-ish behavior just because they can. For me everything clicks into place once you realize men are attempting to control, manage, and have power over, something they see as having massive power over them. We see most CEOs being male, for example, but don't see the man inspired to work himself to death to try to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/21 07:05 PM
1

I figured, I'm just saying maybe you should change the rules if it means deleting posts that might contribute to the subreddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/20 12:27 PM
1

I'd be curious for that list of subreddits, sure. Unfortunately if they were just crushes and had no idea how you felt, they probably didn't. What about your exes? Don't have any. Never had a serious relationship. Not a virgin, been on dates, but it's always either me falling for someone and getting heartbreak, or being on a phone or sitting across from someone and wondering what I'm doing there. I mean, with what I know now I could probably do way better if you took me back in time, but obvious…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/20 12:18 PM
1

Well why not? It seemed to have sparked some good discussion, and I think it's relevant. Sometimes ideas are expressed better this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/20 12:12 PM
1

Sorry if I am rambling or missed your point. No I think that's pretty spot on.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/20 06:49 AM
1

I'm sure, and that's fair enough. Someone else here asked me about my Meyer-Briggs type, and I'm an INTP, so "OMG I have the most brilliant and important idea I've stumbled upon but I can't explain to you exactly why" is quite true to form.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/20 06:48 AM
1

I think missing detail is that people are mistaking a mentality that's saying "Please, someone care about me, ever" for one that's saying "It should be all my needs, all the time." I also have to conclude that I did a shit job of describing all the aspects to how I'm feeling. Feeling more 'open' like this, in real time, I actually feel way more like being the big spoon, so to speak. I feel like it would be nice to feel cared for, but also feel like I have love to give, whereas a closed me had no…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/20 06:43 AM
1

INTP. My sister is INFJ. I think you can see the INTP-ness in the way I take this experience and put it into my mental analysis machine for extensive review. I still like Meyer-Briggs, and find it more compelling than science currently regards it, but the more solid science is behind the big 5 personality test. And on that, I get: Somewhat introverted, highly open, highly neurotic, highly disagreeable, and ridiculously un-conscientious.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/20 06:37 AM
2

Well realize that personality disorder is a spectrum, first of all. There's no have it/don't have it, nor is there the implication that being the exact opposite of that way is the right way to be. So, similarly, being selfless under a false notion, and inability to change, does not reflect a truth that no one should ever be generous to other people, or that believing in someone and supporting them is entirely bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/20 06:28 AM
2

I don't want to be a broken record, but you're not understanding exactly my mindset, first of all. Second, you are sure of things you cannot rightfully be that sure of, and I've seen counterexamples to what you suggest. It's hard to find a public example, but I'd be curious what you think of the relationship of the couple who do Girlfriend Reviews on youtube. Also, you're missing some contradiction. You may be right that women/people respond to things like confidence, capability, etc. But you're…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/20 05:58 AM
2

Well I started out almost idealistically overcaring, in a way. Kind of like a martyr mentality or something. There were places where I should have spoken up for myself and how I felt and what I needed, and didn't. Later on, I came to realize that I had been operating on a false narrative, and yes, felt cheated. So, I went to the 'what does it matter what I do' place. Maybe that's found some kind of equilibrium now, I would like to think so. I had a strong group of friends when I was younger, but…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/20 05:40 AM
2

I've known too many short, average-looking guys who got laid a lot to buy this for a second. The common denominator with those guys was that they were fearless, and relentlessly positive. Like every rejection blow or concern or criticism just bounced off them.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/20 05:22 AM
3

Couple of problems. 1. I'm probably older than you. 2. You're making a false assumption about how I would approach a relationship based on what you think is implied by what I wrote. 3. You're quoting the generic RP shit - that is deeply flawed and one-sided IMO - as if it's religious gospel.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/20 05:18 AM
1

Frankly, I think that's both lacking in understanding of where I'm coming from, and weak sauce regarding any kind of understanding of women...or even humans in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/20 04:59 AM
1

I actually wasn't aware of the gonewild reddit Lol. There's also this site called Pornhub you should check out.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/20 04:50 AM
1

It's there now. I was writing and figured you were responding quickly, so wanted to heads-up that another thought was unfinished.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/20 04:48 AM
1

Well, if I had to draw a conclusion, it's that this reflection continues to inform my understanding that we can't draw a nice neat little idealistic bow about sex and human interaction like we want. We're trying to parse the good/bad and settle into simple rules that conform with our ideals, but it's not working for us, and we don't quite understand why. I'd also add that some people here are trying to make this into some thing where 1. I want to fuck 15yo cheerleaders right now, or 2. I want a …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/20 04:40 AM
6

I'm trying to understand the mentality of someone who reads what I wrote and its implications about negativity in social media interaction, and decides this is approach they want to take.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/20 04:32 AM
1

It's not that anything you're writing here is unreasonable. I'm more reporting how I felt, and trying not to fit in a box of sense, but just kind of let it be that, because I think that's where the understanding has to be found first. You can tell people "well logically you should feel this other way instead", but that doesn't change how they feel.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/20 04:31 AM
1

I didn't even conceive of anything I wrong having anything to do with pedophilia, or even that I was suggesting anything about wanting to fuck younger women. If you got that impression, I either didn't get things across well, or you're reading something into it that's not there. The 'open heart' mindset I'm describing actually has a lot more to do with finding the appeal in marrying/growing old with someone, whereas the previous mindset was less that, so to some extent you've even got it backwar…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/20 04:25 AM
1

Yeah, I mean pretty much. I wasn't brutally rejected by cheerleaders so much as they were just part of a clique I wasn't in and only got to view from afar. I also maintain that dressing teen girls in those outfits and having them dance is not nearly as wholesome as we somehow came to make it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/20 02:56 AM
2

I think the difference lies in the power and idealization of the feminine in the male mind, particularly when they're younger. It adds an extra layer on top of everything. Without that, you might think "hey, we're mutually horny now, nothing horrible about having some fun with this person." But with that extra layer guys get, you're thinking "OMG she is so hot. If she were to like me, want to be with me, have sex with me, that would be the most amazing thing that would possibly happen. And the r…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/20 11:20 AM
2

What if the girls that do end up doing this (A minority, yep, sorry inner city poor redittors, there's a whole other America out there with low crime neighborhoods where there isn't even a thug sight) are just bad people and therefore not someone you should seek to enter a relationship with? Because they don't care if they're bad people. The male impetus of desire does not look at a crazy hot woman across the room that he's just in pain wanting to be with, and go "I wonder if she gives to charit…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/20 02:01 AM
1

I can't speak for all men, but I'm someone who is driven by my curiosities. Just the same as I might see an awesome movie trailer and get excited to see that movie and imagine what it's gonna be like and OMG I can't wait - I also might see an attractive woman and get excited in the same way. If the experience is good, I might want to do it again. It's also great to experience those things with friends, so if the person you're having sex with is also someone you can connect with about the mutual …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/20 01:52 AM
1

There are women who look great without makeup, and when they wear it, it can seem unnecessary. There are also women who probably look a bit better with makup, but it gives a different impression. It's more sexy skank than cute girlfriend material. Then there are women who just don't have great skin or what not and indeed do simply look better with makeup. I think the general thing to remember is that the way you present yourself gives an impression to people of who you are. If you dress like a w…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/20 01:40 AM
2

No, I mean he retired from movies to run a restaurant, and then came back for Goodfellas. He's wasn't a rich celebrity at that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/20 04:43 AM
2

You don't think Joe Pesci the guy, when he was just a guy who owned a restaurant in New York, before he went back to movies, couldn't have had an attractive girlfriend or gotten laid?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/20 04:32 AM
2

You think average guys have shots, but I'm not sure how guys can't be short and fat and be 'average guys'. You're vastly overestimating the importance of height and skinniness. Edit: You've seen Joe Pesci in movies yes? He's a short pudgy guy. Did it ever seem unbelievable to you that his characters would be fucking a different women every night (Goodfellas), have Marissa Tomei as a girlfriend (My Cousin Vinny), etc? No, it actually fit his character appropriately.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/20 04:20 AM
3

If I need to get more specific, let me recount 2 specific people. Dude 1: He was on my dorm floor in college. Short, fat? Check. Not an unshaven wretch, but generally an average looking guy. He was a funny guy, kind of the life of the party. Always was bringing up something sexual, always making come ons to the girls. He's the kind of guy who could like run toward a girl with a funny run and a comment and hug her and have her laughing about it and you're thinking "Damn, I could not get away with…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/20 03:33 AM
5

What area are you from? I can't imagine where it is that you only see like model-looking dudes ever having a ONS.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/20 03:14 AM
0

I guess we have to better define what we're talking about. Am I saying these guys walk into a bar and have 20 supermodels all over them? No. Am I saying that in the social circles they walk, they are very well liked by the ladies, would do decently enough in a bar or club, and generally are able to live a life with girlfriends and FWB and a generally getting-some existence? Absolutely yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/20 02:09 AM
4

Its not really womens fault because most of them only care about looks and status. This is where you go wrong. Attraction and desire are highly manipulable. You know certain things work on you to make a person seem more or less attractive, so why would it be less so with women? I have known short, pudgy dudes who get laid wherever they go. They're likable, have a positive attitude, and most importantly, are utterly fearless. You'd think no women ever rejected them by how relaxed and joyful they …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/20 09:59 PM
1

So here's the thing: Sex is very powerful to men. Often on levels and in ways women don't understand. Does that mean any women is required to sleep with a man? No, absolutely not. What is does mean is that society would be a bit better if women were able to understand what they were dealing with, and make their choices accordingly. The moment you make into 'owing' anyone anything, it gets unnecessarily ugly. You don't owe a bum on the street a dollar from your pocket. You don't owe someone a pol…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/20 09:50 PM
3

I think what happens is that guys here feel like there's so much pressure on them already, and so much shit hurled their way, and so much support for women's right and all that on the other side, that the last thing they feel inspired to do is to give women even more of a leg up over them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/20 10:54 PM
2

I'm not entirely an 'RP guy' but consider this: I was around some protesters in my city the other day. The group leaders included two women, who were doing most of the leading of chants, and providing the energy and charisma. One was standing above the crowd, looking powerful, intense, and dangerous. It was very attractive. She wasn't physically the most attractive woman in the crowd, but she made the biggest impression. She could build off of that into a sexy post-event persona as well. Imagine…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/20 10:41 PM
1

It doesn't, I was saying that to contradict the notion that most women 'aren't like that'.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/20 09:26 PM
1

I personally feel like I've been used a whole lot in my life, and gotten basically nothing in return for it. Any success I've had had nothing to do with picking up a tab, but there was so much of the other before I figured that out that it still bothers me. My experience on a dating site is talking to 2 dozen women over a period of a month, having half of them disappear, a few others claim they don't know what they're doing, or not sure about dating, and at the end of it 1 or 2 will actually set…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/20 09:57 AM
1

You're right, I skimmed and missed your point. With regard to what you are saying, I think you're right that self-esteem is generally something that makes people not need to act in certain ways, but self-esteem doesn't just magically come to be. It's the same as just telling someone "be confident" - if they could just do that spontaneously, they wouldn't have a problem. A lot of what I see as the positive aspects of RP are about having men go out and find reasons for that confidence. The idea of…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/20 08:55 AM
1

See, I started the opposite way: Lots of female friends, who I thought would never do certain slutty things. I was wrong, and wrong in general about women. Each one of them has fucked at least a dozen men that I know of, and half of them had party hookups in college and beyond, etc. Most women spent their teen years masturbating and experimenting, yes? Even the ones who aren't eventually putting it on r/gonewild for the world to see are still doing it. Also, you talk not being able to be close t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/20 05:46 AM
2

What is it to be 'nice' to someone? And is being nice the best thing to be for someone all the time? Think about yourself. Sure, you want people to generally be kind to you. But, first of all, are those always the people you are most attracted to? And second of all, doesn't that miss potentially good things? What if you were drifting into drug addition, and as your friend, I didn't want to risk not being 'nice' in order to tell you "Get a grip, you have a fucking problem, and it's not okay." Is …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/20 05:37 AM
4

Sometimes, women's judgements about men are not accurate Also, water is wet I mean, seriously, how did we ever come to a place where women are adamantly supposed to be equal human beings and treated as such, but at the same time be magical creatures who never make mistakes or have bad judgement? Of course it's bullshit, how could it not be? I think the disconnect is that men are more familiar with their desires being...unideal. We know that chick on social media probably isn't the greatest human…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/20 05:28 AM
1

There's a once-upon-a-time me that would have been insulted by the idea that such 'shallow' things are what would get me women. Women were supposed to choose you for deeper and more virtuous things you did. Also, the idea that I could compete with you in attractiveness!? Men were fucking ugly; it just had to be that you saw other things in us besides our looks, or else we were 100% fucked. And also, everyone wasn't on social media 15 years ago, so the world hadn't devolved into the shallow shith…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/20 05:21 AM
1

I wasn't especially bothered by a high N count to begin with. You're only bothered by it if you still have some version of the chaste, idealized feminine in your head, and I honestly don't know how you keep that image in modern society, where even the 'innocent' girls are dressing like skanks and doing a booty dance on instagram. I feel like modern women have long since murdered whatever image you could have had of them as virginally pure.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/20 05:16 AM
2

Not money: Power. It's a power struggle. The fundamental propaganda of modern feminism is that society is a power struggle, so the goal can only be to take power away (or 'back') from men. Of course, men don't feel this way, they have their own problems and miseries dealing with women and dating and being a man, and know the power women actually have for them, and over them, in these areas, so they don't react well to this idea that they have it made. And not just that they have it made, but tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/20 09:02 PM
2

I used to feel this way. The problem is that there is a disconnect in a lot of guy's minds, as there was in mine: I expected women to be quality judges of who was the most worthy on a deep level, and give their beauty and sex to those who were. Basically, I thought being a good, smart, decent human, in the ways I saw as most important in the world, were eventually going to lead to me drowning in pussy. But...women are human and go for shallow things and make mistakes? Doing shallow shit like goi…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/20 08:44 PM
4

And you assume this is normal? Who the hell has this low of a response rate other than, well, "losers"? Well first of all, the desire to call people 'losers' for this stuff says way more about you than me. Second, my response rate is fine. I don't copy paste to 1000 women, I send specific messages, and get a reply often enough. My point was that women are more than willing to engage in conversation, and men can invest their time in that, without getting anywhere. I don't think you're going to fi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/20 11:35 AM
1

I've often seen it framed as some aspect of maturity: "You should know it's inappropriate to approach women doing X, and where these things are acceptable and not." But maturity taught me the exact opposite lesson: You meet a finite amount of people in your life, and some of them you'll never see again, and you're going to regret what could have been if you had just taken a chance. So, to my mind, you just have to ignore that shit and make your own judgments.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/20 11:25 AM
1

It's funny, because if you go to another corner of reddit you'll find women complaining that men won't leave them alone. It does take something to be immune from negative reactions and able to just move on to the next one, because you simply will get negative reactions sometimes if you're doing cold approaches, so some men just don't do that. There's a huge problem, has been for a long time, where men are told how horribly scary, aggressive, predatory, etc. they are, and men respond by holding b…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/20 11:21 AM
4

Normal, well-adjusted people don't discuss dating tactics or sexual tactics. They just... date. They simply get laid without having to come up with an "strategy". Normal people just... have sex. Organically, they don't even think how they're getting action because it's a natural process without any bumps in the way. I cannot imagine what kind of life you have lead to believe this. First off, I can't think of a single social group I've known, male, female, or mixed, that did not give each other a…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/20 11:00 AM
1

No, I ask too many questions. Cult leader sounds nice, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/20 06:34 PM
1

All I can see is that being young and hot gets more offers and that my desirability is lower if I am less hot and young. Sure, and that's understandable that you would find that perspective, but I think it's incomplete. At all times, as a woman, it is better to have 10 offers than 5. I'm not sure how the numbers work out as you posted them, but I certainly do see women express disillusionment in men not wanting to stay around, or the like. Heck, the aforementioned dick pics get complained about …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/20 07:24 PM
1

Marriage was a compromise, it was never an ideal. It took the disparities between what men and women wanted and balanced them. It made people commit to one person so that most everyone had someone, and would as they got older. And love...where did we get the idea love lasted forever? The fluttery heart, weak-kneed kind of love lasts like a few years tops. Why would that be an ideal basis for marriage? One thing I noticed in your last paragraph is that you are making an error I see women make fre…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/20 06:09 AM
3

Why was there ever any doubt about that? Feminist sites and subreddits have long been the source of some of the most toxic atmosphere on the internet. And the 'femosphere' was always significantly larger than the manosphere, and exerted far more influence over society at large.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/20 05:41 AM
2

At least they'll have that option. Showing my genitals on a live cam or marrying someone with money and having them take care of me are not options that were ever remotely on the table for me. I'm expected to make 200k just to be worthy of being with a woman who makes 50k and listen and nod as she complains about how unfair the gender pay gap is.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/20 05:18 AM
-1

Yeah, and all that is fine. I don't think there's much need to reply to individual things because we don't have much conflict, just our own personal preferences, so not much else to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/20 07:12 AM
7

I think sometimes the problem is that we become what we behold. We hear through the internet and media about what other people think and are doing, and we go out and behave as if that's the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/20 06:59 AM
5

No, and I come here less and less. Literally I'm dealing with reality on one end, and what people say is reality on the internet on the other end. Which should I trust?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/20 06:55 AM
-1

I don't know how to answer for anyone else. I'm not looking to brag, in fact I could give a shit who knows. Sure, guys might talk objectively and disrespectfully about women among each other, but I don't think that's exclusive to any age. It sounds more to me like you're disgusted by a particular type of older man you've experienced, which is fair enough. I would say that, honestly, I think we should teach women to expect that many men's desires don't change radically as they age, and there's so…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/20 05:41 AM
4

Yeah, it's a silly statement. Emma Watson, fucking Hermione from Harry Potter, is 30 years old. 30 isn't anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/20 09:27 PM
6

The average 20yo woman is more attractive than the top 5% of 30yo women. That's...no. Most women look nearly the same at 30. If you had said 40 then maybe, but even then we could debate it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/20 09:25 PM
-1

Well, I personally wouldn't give an older man a chance. I don't want an old husband or someone who will try to take advantage of me. I'm curious, in what way do you see yourself being capable of being taken advantage of? You have the wherewithal to post here that that is a danger you're aware of, so how do you see yourself as still being capable of having that happen to you? Also, is there not a positive aspect to the 'power' an older man might have, that you see being used to potentially take a…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/20 09:22 PM
0

Late 30s here. There are younger women who just rule it out, and there are younger women who don't. If someone has to literally take the time out for chastising you for daring to take a shot, online or in person, with a woman younger than you, then know that's their problem. Age gaps happen all the time, especially older male. You have a chance as an older man because you're supposed to be better at it now, and I am. 10 years ago is a very different guy with a very different approach. I understa…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/20 08:58 PM
5

The world is full of attractive women. In one sense, feminine beauty makes the world go round, but individually, they're a dime a dozen. What would be a high 'league' certain men couldn't attain? Something like, say, NFL cheerleader? NFL cheerleaders make shit money, endure humiliating treatment, and have 30 other girls ready to replace each of them if they don't like it. This is how disposable such women are, even at that level. The girl you see at being in an unattainable 'league' has no guara…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/20 02:16 AM
2

Control the pace. If one or both people are rushing through it uncomfortably, that's not gonna be fun. Don't be afraid to ask to slow it down if you're not there with it, and try to sense if the other person is there with you. Think about what turns you on. Yes, your genitalia are different (sometimes), but you can extract more from how you feel and apply it to them than you think. Guys, think about it when jerking off...how do you like speeding up and slowing down, and how is that different fro…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/20 01:07 AM
3

It might be that simple on Tinder, but not in the real world. I've known plenty of short and pudgy guys who did fine, or even well. The common thread was a relentless positive attitude and fearlessness.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/20 12:31 AM
7

The other thing, and something I've been guilty of, is stubbornness. I think "I shouldn't have to do all that to attract that girl over there. I'm worth 10 of her, and the world is the one who needs to get it together and fucking acknowledge that. I pretended what she was saying was actually interesting to me, instead of the weak thoughts of a remedial human like they were, and that was already more effort than she deserved from me. And if I actually go to all that effort to get in really good s…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/20 12:20 AM
4

I'm pretty much done jumping through hoops. Of course I did that early on, but now it's just like "Nope, I don't do that. Find someone who does." Sure, I want to work out and look good, but that's largely because it makes me feel like shit to be out of shape and have to negotiate my gut and weight while trying to fuck. Other things, like 'dressing stylishly' is just a complete "fuck you, no". Fashion trends are for retards, and I have no desire to divert brain power from far more important thing…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/20 11:58 PM
6

Built into your question are female sensibilities. First, that bagging one high-quality partner is the ideal. Second, that the way to go about attracting that person are the things you idealize as being what attracts you to men, but probably not precisely what actually does. So, the question has to be: Are you switching genders but keeping the same brain? If so, you're not gonna being interested in attracting women, unless you're gay. And if you're switching sexual interest to something more to …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/20 11:29 PM
1

I wouldn't say that. Confidence is attractive for men and women, but that's not the same as being bitchy.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/20 08:33 AM
1

See, narcissists actually feel small inside. When they aggrandize, they're compensating, and trying to fill the void within them. It's a hard thing to wrap one's head around: In one way, they think they're a prize, but they also simultaneously think they're worthless. Real sense of self and personal value is a different thing than narcissism. It's the real deal, not the desperate manufactured version. A narcissist manipulates people, a person with self worth considers it beneath their dignity to…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/20 08:17 AM
1

Exercise, educate yourself Indeed I do, but for what purpose? If no one cares how fit or educated I am, what would be the point? I have ideals about what should matter, and get upset when people don't adhere to those, but there's no not caring about the fact that they don't sometimes. This is the thing: What am I aiming for? Why do anything but jerk off and play video games if nothing people thinks matters, and nothing you do will get you anything you want or need from them? What's the goal if n…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/20 02:17 AM
1

Yes. It's weird, because as I try to piece together in my brain the answer to that question, I realize my brain doesn't understand the alternative. Isn't the alternative to be like a psychopath? Who gets negative criticism and doesn't care? I've gotten a bit numb to it, but that's not entirely good, and plus I think there's an eternal seed of wanting revenge that's always present because of it. I was probably happier when I had naive hope, and thought that my efforts doing and saying things that…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/20 10:09 PM
1

Familiarity is a thing. The women I grew up with just look like themselves to me. I look, and the signal in my brain goes "Oh, that's *****". If I met them right now instead of 15 years ago, that would be different. You feel powerfully about people who are locked in youth and nostalgia with you. This is why banging that girl from high school at the reunion has so much mental appeal. You've met other girls more attractive, but you didn't sit next to them in class as a horny teenager day after day…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/20 07:19 AM
1

I don't think it's a matter of admitting anything. I see the grass as greener, I know it's more complicated than that, but when I think about it all I can see is the good stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/20 07:15 AM
3

It's hard to put into a prescription. I can give you moments where I thought "that was great", or, "that would be great if this person did this," but as always with these things, you can't just follow the script and get the point. I remember reading a post from a girl who was asking about wanting to be "the greatest girlfriend ever", and put effort into things like waking her bf up with head each morning, wearing sexy outfits for him when he got home from work, etc. I thought that was hot, espec…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/20 04:40 AM
1

What's the correct amount of fear? Most of the time, our fear response is not helpful in modern society. We don't need to worry about being eaten by a lion at any moment anymore, so not this fear response that's designed to overwhelm and override serves far more often to fuck up our lives than improve them. Being in a car is dangerous. But think about all the life and moments you would have lost if you could never ride in one out of fear of an accident. Or the conversations you could have missed…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/20 04:25 AM
7

Definitely very important to me. I'm the kind of guy who doesn't even like to lose at board games, you think I'm gonna be satisfied with being second-tier at sex? Beyond that, my impulse when I desire someone way more frequently involves something like wanting to go down on her, than to have her go down on me. I also get very excited when I feel like I understand what someone needs. I see some gonewild girl or something expressing a need or desire that I know how to fulfill, and it makes me want…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/20 04:16 AM
2

Yes, but it's more than that. Men idealize women. A woman they are powerfully attracted to becomes an idealization of the feminine in their minds. So, they expect her to act accordingly. She's supposed to give her sex to the most deserving, not be young and shallow and selfish and make questionable decisions. To take that angelic ideal in his head, and do that with it? Disgusting! What a slut!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/20 04:03 AM
2

You have to ditch the narrative of "Women had it bad and now you're all upset because we're finally winning one." No. There was never a patriarchy. What there was, and are, are societies that tried to find a stable balancing point between the sexes. You already had power. Everything you see in male-dominated societies is not men randomly being dicks, it's men attempting to control that which they see as having power over them. In most places, men were already subservient to slaving away to win y…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/20 03:57 AM
1

It's not nature. What is 'nature' about attraction and sexual success manifests itself in a complex of ways where you can't simply say who is going to get laid or not based on just looks. Have you ever seen the dudes who make themselves the heads of sex cults? They're not typically Brad Pitt. Or even simply met a short, pudgy guy who's got the right formula for doing well with women? My problem is that I am idealistic in it. Women should like about me the qualities that I see as the qualities th…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/20 07:02 AM
3

So what? Change your game plan--become a little bit interesting, and offer the women a nice personality and a relationship. Here's the thing. Or actually, two things, one which some have already mentioned: First of all, the quid-pro-quo system has just died. And women killed it. There's no offering commitment and being decent to them in return for anything anymore, because their side of that bargain is not going to be held up. They'll be happy to take what you have to give them from that, but th…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/20 06:51 AM
1

It's very possible. If I'm being honest, my ego simply cannot accept some kind of 'know your place' judgement of what league I am in, or level of looks I am or am not worthy of. I just have to reject that. The human being that I am is worth a dozen hot women, and I'll take that assertion to the ends of the Earth, and don't you dare tell me otherwise. And since the other options are kill myself, or burn everything to the ground, I basically am forced to spend my time trying to accept what comprom…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/20 06:36 AM
0

Depends on what that nature is. If you're being open about being a person who's kinda shit, as you illustrate, then that's not a good look. And the added problem is that men feel like they have to play by whatever rules women are making as the gateway to sex. So, of you see this crazy hot girl on social media, and she's taking that beauty, and acting like a shithead, it just drives you nuts, because you want something decent and attainable to be the key to getting her.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/20 06:19 AM
2

What's funny is that the answer, or at something that would help tremendously, is there to be done: Ditch the patriarchy nonsense, realize that men suffer too, that in men's minds women are the ones with the power, and that many men resort to power plays not because they are laughingly enjoying privilege, but because they feel that's their one pathetic last ditch effort to find a way to equalize. You don't have to give lonely men sex, you just have to give them respect and understanding. We all …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/20 06:09 AM
2

Women tend to take their problems out on themselves. Men tend to take their problems out on everyone else. You do NOT want a society of men not getting any. They're going to see to it, as sure as the sun shines, that everyone else's life as miserable as theirs is.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/20 06:05 AM
1

What does automod have to do with this?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/20 12:36 PM
1

Realize the Catch-22 though: I can't connect with someone I'm going to have a physical relationship with if our mindset and priorities in that relationship are completely alien to each other. I had a conversation with a BDSM enthusiast on a dating site once. I had been having two dozen smalltalk conversations with various women, same boring shit, putting in my time, knowing I couldn't talk about sex without getting dropped, feeling frustrated and resentful, and I can tell you that every single o…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/20 08:11 AM
2

Well here's the thing: Feminism has this idea that all men actually want to be like women, and live the feminine ideal of personal values, and it's only society and gender rolls compelling us to act 'manly' at any time. This is very, very wrong. In fact, it's partially the opposite: Feminism has so cowed men into being afraid to be themselves and say how they really feel, that they actually need to learn to be free to not hide the masculine aspects of their personality. It's happened several tim…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/20 03:16 AM
2

I find a desire to belong to be incredibly compelling, much more so than a desire to pair with someone. I have a deep desire to belong to a group, and feel like I am one of them, and have that sense of group identity. Sex is also important to me, and friendship is good. Romance...eh. It's possible my ideal was always to be accepted in an exclusive group of friends who did kinky casual fucking and BDSM stuff. I had the group, but the "Let's blindfold MisterJose and see if he can tell which of our…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/20 03:04 AM
2

I had one group of friends post-high school, which was like 7 guys and 6 girls. I was very close with them, especially with the 5 or 6 of us that hung out all the time. My best friend was a guy in the group. Looking back, the idea that the dynamic had no sexual aspect to it is just absurd. Talking about sex constantly aside. One female friend telling me "I'm going to wear your favorite bra tonight." Or the party where we dared the girls to run to the neighbors house and back shirtless, or lick w…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/20 02:55 AM
1

Again, this does not solve the problem. The never-ceasing reality is that there is some fraction of women I want to fuck, and some fraction of that fraction I want to fuck and hang around with for months afterward. Enforcing the three month rule does not make me want to hang around with you under any circumstances. All it does it string along guys who are willing to wait 3 months for sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/20 02:42 AM
1

By doing that, you're basically telling me that you're a weirdo who doesn't enjoy sex, at least not in a way that will ever work for me in a long-term relationship, and/or that you are someone who uses sex to get other things they want. Basically, you're telling me you are 0% serious girlfriend material. The guys who will wait 3 months are desperate, not committed. Plus, if I'm going to be into you in a way that makes me want to stay around...how exactly does requiring I censor myself around you…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/20 02:37 AM
4

I have a brother who was/is highly successful with women, but I really don't want to do what he does. He lies with abandon. His answer to "what to do about the fact that I'm..." is just "well just tell her otherwise." Basically, he takes the path that you must lie and deceive and lead on and pretend you want to be serious in order to get sex. He has a girl who he fucks on weekends to "get what I need", and she gets on him about getting more serious, and he tells her some excuse. But basically hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/20 02:30 AM
5

Just speaking for myself, I've had a dozen close female friends in my life. Not every dynamic was exactly the same, but the common thread was that I was a super-amazing, wonderful, brilliant guy...who they didn't want to fuck. The problem with observing others is that it will only get you so far, because some things people do and say are not within your purview or earshot. Many times in my life, I thought I was doing exactly what everyone else was doing, and then at some point realized there wer…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/20 02:25 AM
1

I didn't start off asking questions, I started off listening. My mother told me women didn't care about looks so much. Movies told me the good guy got the girl over the jock asshole. My female friends told me they liked this and that, and hated the other thing. All this was highly misleading. My mother was thinking about the relationship she wanted. The movies were written by guys who were losers in high school and turned it around, or who wanted a feel-good story to sell. The female friends did…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/20 02:19 AM
1

You're right that I never found bar-to-date a natural thing. I'd only be doing it because I thought it was required protocol I was supposed to go along with, and nowadays, I have no patience for that shit, and I find being a guy who is capable of saying "Fuck no, I do things my own way," mostly increases your attractiveness anyway. And to that point, I never found dating all that natural either. What does it have to do with attraction? Attraction happens when I'm hanging out with a group of peop…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/20 12:40 AM
1

My question is: what about dating? So, here's my naive first experiences on a dating site: I get hits, replies to my messages, and think "This is great! And there can be no mistake what we're all here for, right?" We talk, I've got 3 dozen conversations going, and I'm already thinking about the dates, the sex, all the rest. 3 dozen turns to one dozen. People ghost. Some say they weren't really sure they wanted to actually meet people, but "you seem amazing!". Long story short, a month of hard wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/20 11:37 PM
0

Let's say for the sake of argument that you are right. These women basically represent the women I've had sexual experiences with in my life. And not all of them were that. Sure, it doesn't represent all possible experiences, but point is this is a limited group, and I can't not see the common thread. I've spent my entire life from a teenager trying to find what 'works', spent countless hours around women, talking to women online and in person, and this is what has worked. And the only thing tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/20 10:42 PM
0

Well, if you redefine interest to fit your point, then sure it's going to strengthen your point. I don't think that works, though. The human mind is not an ideal place. Motivations for feelings originate in places we are usually not even aware of. If you want to say, "That desire and interest isn't real desire and interest," then I think all you're doing is making some idealistic stand that is divorced from how people actually behave. I think 99% of attraction can be traced to something primal a…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/20 09:06 PM
1

Well, suffice to say the majority of interest I've received in my time has come through treating someone like they are beneath me on some level. In college, there was the girl I would tease incessantly, about stuff like being flat-chested. She got into me. There was another who I was completely oblivious to, and talked to about how hot I found her roommate. She got into me. There was the one who I used to call an idiot and roll my eyes when she asked for a few bucks for cigarettes...and so on. O…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/20 08:01 PM
0

I wasn't stringing anyone along. First of all, I wasn't just talking about one girl, I was talking about a few experiences that hit me hard. I had a group of friends that basically ditched me in my early 20's, who I thought were friends for life, and it took me time to realize just how much that affected me, and I never really found friends as close ever again. I tried talking to them about it years later, and almost feel like I got rejected again (blocked on facebook, etc.). I can't tell someon…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/20 07:01 PM
-1

I think you're projecting the "higher/lower" thing onto the world. Really, because I feel like that's the core of everything, and I get a lot of agreement when I talk about that stuff. Everyone wants someone they think is amazing, high-up in some perceived way. Do you think 50 Shades of Grey would have been as appealing if Mr. Grey was a janitor?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/20 06:54 PM
1

I'm a 6-foot white guy who's at least not ugly, and I definitely went years without any female attention. It's easy - I'm self employed, so my job doesn't facilitate meeting people. I would never go to a bar except to try and get laid, so I really don't have much opportunity to socialize outside of my occasional friend group. Without effort, literally zero would ever happen. Tinder was a complete dead end for me. I've seen graphs and charts of people who've had similar experiences of thousands o…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/20 06:12 AM
1

Male. I'm definitely a candidate for the harem. It just far more matches how I think and live. I'm a bit of a loner, value my free time away from others, like to hang out in groups, etc. A casual harem of women I can have fun sexual experiences with is exactly my speed.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/20 05:59 AM
1

You never get a straight answer to this, because the natural inclination is to immediately imagine all the times you wanted to talk to someone, or wished someone was interested, and imagine those women approaching you instead. And then you go "Fuck yes I want them to do that!" But the reality of being approached is entirely different. When horny and frustrated, it's always amazing to think about the fact that I've literally been propositioned to come over and fuck, and turned it down. But in tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/20 05:55 AM
6

This is what cults to. When you first join a cult, they shower you with love and attention, and it feels amazing. They then use the fact that those hooks are in you to make you do things. You're not too sure you want to do those things, but you're getting anger and abuse from these same people for voicing protest, and these people were so kind and loving, and they all agree, so clearly it must be your fault for not wanting to do it, and you must be a horrible person. So you do it, and blame your…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/20 05:50 AM
1

I would say definitely yes. I think the guilt would only happen because to the extent I am made to feel like I am supposed to feel guilty. In another world where such things are normal and expected, I would have no problem with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/20 05:47 AM
1

I definitely do want that. I never really get the N-count stuff when I see it talked about here. I mean, yes, I'm looking for horny and loving sex more than literally fucked every guy on the block, but one has to accept someone who loves sex has probably had some. My dating miseries involve the women who seem to want to come off sweet and innocent and value chaste togetherness and getting to know each other, and that just makes them this weird alien creature to me, whose reasons for being on a d…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/20 05:46 AM
2

I think many of them do want to feel loved and desired, just in a certain way. Think of it like this: Everyone wants someone they view as 'above' them to approve and like and find them great. No one wants someone they view as 'below' them to cling and need and give compliments that don't mean anything because they are not viewed as having valuable opinions. I met a girl online literally through complaining about women and dating in, to my mind, a really repulsive way. I wasn't trying to be attra…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/20 05:38 AM
2

If I'm gonna marry someone, they are going to be someone I consider a peer, and one of 'my people'. That person is not going to be a person who values platonic togetherness above all, and thinks sex is just this unimportant later thing, because that is so alien to the way I think that there's no way in hell we're ever going to be compatible. Basically, not everyone I want to fuck I will want to marry, but the person I will want to marry will be into fucking. good moral character Who dafuq wants …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/20 06:38 PM
2

The core of it is this: Women's sexuality holds massive power in the heads of men. What they really seek is control of the thing that has power over them. We don't want to you choose, we want to have control over your choice. Because that's the only way we can prevent you from driving us nuts. That manifests itself in various ways. Societies that are build on control of women's sexuality are all over the place. Take conservative Islamic states: Cover women head to toe when they're outside. Insis…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/20 06:19 PM
0

This is an example of a situation where everyone pursuing their own interest does not maximize results for the group. The only alternative is for men to all cooperate and coordinate their swipes together, which isn't going to happen. There's an overtone here that's familiar, and it kind of goes: "If only men would stop being assholes and wanting what they want, which is clearly the wrong thing to want..." All that's happened is that men got more honest, and the quid-pro-quo of dating died a horr…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/20 05:54 PM
1

The point of looking at this is to say that maybe this is what men, free of the concerns of money and social restriction ideally might want. I suppose like all relationships the closer you are to being your best self; mind, body and spirit, the more success you will have. This is interesting, because one of my problems has always been a strong disagreement about what represents my best self. It's analogous to playing piano, which I do: You can spend years and countless hours deepening the unders…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/20 10:42 AM
1

High-quality response.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/20 10:36 AM
1

Well I think being an Emperor is going to be a vastly different scenario than anything we're practically talking about now. I don't know the rules in Imperial China, but there's a chance they literally couldn't say no to him. Coming back to the now, this is a problem I face. I've dealt and experienced a lot of the crappy aspects of relationships, and not the good ones. So it's kinda like "Yeah yeah, been there, done that, so can we please just not do any of that and just focus on the good and in…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/20 08:46 PM
1

Well thanks. It's tricky, because I'm a different person than I used to be. Also, even if the 18yo I was interacting with earlier today was into whatever I might want, for exmaple, it's gotten into the realm of weird to think about someone that much younger. When that 18yo was my peer, that carried both the desire and the connection. Now, the desirable ones aren't peers, and the peers aren't desirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/20 08:02 PM
1

With so many women, you would have no time for yourself or even energy. I mean, if we were to track my masturbation habits, it would probably involve fantasizing about that number of women, with the higher ones more frequently. So if you just replaced the masturbation with sex, it doesn't seem like it would be that difficult at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/20 07:58 PM
1

Maybe some things. I sometimes make the analogy that I had a foodie phase at one point in my life, where I was obsessed with trying new fancy restaurants. It was nice, went to some good places, but eventually got the idea, and settled down into a few mainstays. Perhaps that's exactly what should have happened with sex with women for me - I tried all the different kinds out, was really into it, had some great experiences, and then settled down into the reliables I most like being with. But becaus…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/20 03:50 PM
1

I don't think the Emperor got especially involved in the grunt work of providing for the women. As far as nagging - again, the hierarchy makes sense to me here. My queen is allowed to nag me, and I don't mind it as much, because it's her. Random concubine, not so much. Inherent in the dating process is a lot of unpleasantness, and things that seem tangential to sexuality and desire. My ideal is hanging out with groups of people, being at a gathering having fun, and thinking "hey ****** is lookin…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/20 03:28 PM
1

Well, put me through a whirlwind of pain, frustration, jealousy, despair, all while draining the life out of to suit their needs, and then running for the hills the moment I wasn't useful in that way anymore. We all have bad times, but it was just too much, too many times over. Something broke.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/20 03:15 PM
1

Well, the question is is this the dream for you, or is it something else?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/20 03:06 PM
1

You understand that most men do not only do things because he can or because of their natures correct? I think people vastly overestimate how core their higher ideals are. As they say, if you were born in Germany in 1915, you most likely would have been a Nazi, with some possibility of being an especially sadistic and hateful Nazi. This has to be true, unless you think the men born in that time were somehow by-nature of lower character than you. Similarly, if you were born into royalty in China …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/20 02:58 PM
1

She's not the one who gets to me nowadays. It's been so long, and if that had just been a hiccup on a road to greener pastures, then alright. Mostly I'm upset with the women who came after.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/20 02:53 PM
0

I'm not saying it's rationally a good solution for society, I'm saying if you got to be the King and got to make it only about what you wanted, what would it look like? I also think you are probably overestimating your ability to retain your equity ideals in that situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/20 02:52 PM
2

I think everyone falls in love with their projection of a person. Who actually knows another person? People get married and live together for a decade only to discover they never really knew their spouse. Love is just thoughts; it can't exist anywhere else but your own head by definition.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/20 02:49 PM
2

It's just true. I can bullshit about it I suppose, but I've fallen in love exactly once, and never any time after. So, yes of course the one person I fell in love with holds some special place in my head. It's not like I'm still going after her, it's just that she looms large in a certain place and time in memory.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/20 02:46 PM
0

You know, when people talk about 'oneitis'...love is thoughts. That's all it is. That's all any of this is. Of course if you work on convincing yourself someone isn't as great as you think, you can knock people down pegs. You might also be able to do the reverse to some degree. But what is the point? The RP point is power - You tell yourself that all women are shit so none of them have power over you. Which I suppose might help in a numbers game, but it sure as hell doesn't come without a cost.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/20 02:43 PM
1

The 1-10 just doesn't work to describe how or why I think of anyone in any way. I was just at the gym where a bunch of 8+ girls were working out, and I didn't have any special interest in. But there's one girl who I do, and she's a...7? 8? Dunno, I just know she strikes me for whatever reason. The girls I wanted as girlfriends and who I took seriously were even wider in looks range. There was always something about them that made me desire them, or made sex with them seem like it would be fun, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/20 02:39 PM
3

I remember when the power went out around my are a few years ago. I got closer to my neighbors in that week than in the years before or since. We just didn't have much to do except stand outside and bond over the experience. In a way, it was kind of nice. One thing that underratedly leads to sex, and sexual desire, is boredom. This is why classrooms and offices where people's half-asleep minds want to escape and wander are often breeding grounds for desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/20 10:29 PM
2

No, I think it's simply that we've disappeared into out phones. Kill the power and the internet, and force people to interact face to face and do other things to stave off boredom, and the fucking would go back up.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/20 09:48 PM
6

No, it's more that men are disgusted that women want Chad. Men idealize women, and put upon women the responsibility to dole out the sex to those most deserving. So when women decide to sleep with Mr. Shithead because they want to, the reaction is "You're disgusting. Slut."
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/20 09:45 PM
1

Yes I have, and I echo your sentiments. You would think this would be great, but, in my experience, it's never been a perspective that endeared me to any of the women I felt that about. I've literally gotten flak for it from other women too! "Sorry, girls don't want a guy who thinks we're not that attractive at first." But...you kinda do, with all the stuff you complain about with guys acting like...ugh, this makes no sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/20 11:11 AM
1

Never respect, sometimes interest. I think you're fine and I wish you the best, but that was an awkward encounter that you contributed nothing to and that totally turned me off and I don't want to do it again. Hopefully it works better for you with someone else, but I've lost interest here. That's what happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/20 03:24 AM
0

What these questions always miss to me is that conflict can lead to really fucking hot sex in the right circumstances. People ask 'what personality is a no go' or whatever, and the real answer is "the personality that doesn't agree with me that conflict can lead to really hot fucking sex" because then nothing good can happen. If I like you, I might want to fuck you. If I hate your guts, I might want to hatefuck you. That is how I feel often about hardcore feminist types, bitchy women, etc. As al…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/20 03:18 AM
0

It comes from the drop-off between what you idealized women to be, and what they actually reveal themselves to be. If men didn't do the idealization in the first place, they wouldn't be so disappointed and disillusioned like that, but that's kinda how it goes, and I don't think there's any way around it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/20 03:13 AM
1

I mean, I think it's fairly intuitive, and all the reasons you might suspect. It's actually sometimes hard to really parse it out yourself how much you are into and around a women just because you want to be with her sexually. So, when you do get the rejection, what part of it is that you wasted your time, and have no interest in her as a person, and what part of that is emotional self-defense? Even looking back at rejections I've had, I can't fully tell.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/20 03:11 AM
1

I tend to come here when I have a desire to argue gender issues. Ironically, I wind up reacting to what I read by trying to be a moderate voice.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/20 03:08 AM
1

I wouldn't go to TRP as a source of direct advice, but it might be useful as a tool for understanding. I tend to think things are best when mutual understanding between the sexes is maximized. So what you might take from TRP could be things like insight into your own behavior, and being brutally honest with yourself about what actually 'works' on you, and also insight into men's behavior - what they initially try doing, why they do it, how horribly frustrated and disillusioned they get, and why …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/20 03:04 AM
1

I'm someone who has experienced a drop in libido at times, and it's definitely informed my perspective that sex colors a whole fuck ton of my behavior. Without the lustful horn-dog libido, it's becomes why spend time with women. What am I aiming for? Hang out with her and deal with that stuff constantly and have a blah sexual episode once in a blue moon? Who signs up for that? It seems pointless. When I'm back to 'me', I see a girl with a nice ass wandering by and get all sorts of exciting fanta…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/20 05:39 AM
7

I can't imagine non-prep anal. You seriously don't want the other person to wish their shit out before you fuck them in their ass?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/20 10:04 PM
1

Back in the day, my anxiety was all social. Compared to that, STD's or pregnancy and the like were very minor concerns. I just didn't want to not be able to get it up.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/20 10:27 AM
4

The actual process of being with someone in a relationship is no fun. Maybe there's a fun version with someone, but I haven't experienced it. What I have experienced took literal days to get old. I've been on my own, for better or worse, my whole adult life. Now, you want to talk every night on the phone? How quickly that becomes "Alright, gotta finish up this, then go shopping, garbage, and I'm done for the night, I can relax. OH, that's right she's also expecting me to call and gonna get angry…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/20 10:20 AM
0

OK, but the common thing I hear is, "Women aren't upset about what they're saying they're upset about," and how emotionally intelligent is that?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/20 01:40 AM
2

Well the recycling example is a good one. I was going to point you to it, but then realized you're the one I replied to with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/20 06:42 AM
2

I'm just one of those people who absorbs lots of information about random shit. People keep telling me to go on Jeopardy.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/20 06:07 AM
2

I've never making anything up, no. If I say I read a study, it means I read a study. Realistically, I've usually read something that is one step removed from a study, so I'm saying "I read that..." Recycling is an example of something where this came up domestically not that long ago. She had been recycling pizza boxes (covered in grease, no good), putting plastic bags in with the papers (they get caught in the machines), and generally been super enthusiastic about the importance of recycling to…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/20 05:55 AM
2

Living with someone for years on end can make you sick of them. That's not the sum total of everything they mean to you. I get pissed most every morning when my cat wakes me up for food. Does that mean I won't miss him when he's gone?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/20 03:09 AM
4

Winning means you are the one who is correct. Losing means you are incorrect. ...and if I had some olive branch to extend back, cold logic can be used to be a bit of a jerk to someone on some level. I think, in my mind, and maybe the male mind more generally, the highest thing is who is actually right, and that's more important than the emotions and personal dynamics involved in getting there. For example, if a woman says, "Don't do this thing/leave that thing there because..." and I say, "That'…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/20 02:58 AM
1

Yeah, not my experience at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/20 09:10 AM
1

Depends on who you're talking about, but I'm well aware there are women who I don't notice, and who don't 'count' to me. It's tricky, because of course no one wants that thought about them, but you also can't help want who you want. Just like you can't make yourself really into a guy because it's convenient, I can't do the reverse. I would be curious what kind of women you're imagining in this scenario, though. There's a decent swath of the female population, especially the young female populati…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/20 09:07 AM
5

Well, I don't think it's gender-exclusive: Your horniness is super interesting to you, but not to anyone else. I'm reminded of a girl who texted me on a dating site and was talking about my face pic like it was a piece of meat she wanted to gobble up. It was weird. It was divorced from anything to do with me personally, like I didn't even have to be there. I try to remember that experience when going after women, even though I can't really do anything about wanting them in the same way this girl…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/20 06:13 PM
6

It's not that complicated: They want dat ass. Like, really want it. It's like a dry-aged steak and they haven't eaten in a year. They're fantasizing about what it would be like to be able to feel her body against theirs, to be able to see her naked, to have her look sexily into their eyes and suck their dick, or whatever else is flooding their minds. It all seems like the most amazing, interesting, awesome thing that could possibly happen, because they're crazy horny for her. ...but they're not …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/20 05:51 PM
2

Men don't hate women. Men idealize women, and then get disgusted when women do not live up to that ideal. You know you hates women? Other women.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/20 06:16 AM
2

I don't know if it will happen in the next 10 years, but I really think that advances in technology will start to reverse the cycles of loneliness and alienation (and not getting laid) that plague our current time. VR will allow everyone to have their own custom avatar, have virtual sex, view each other in real-time 3D video, etc. Generations in the future will feel sorry for us poor souls who had to text to be connected, and didn't get to fuck virtual movie stars.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/20 06:09 AM
1

I think we fail to understand how horny factors into the equation. If I got to fuck someone I was horny for as a teenager, that probably would have been amazing. Conversely, if an older person I found repulsive manipulated their way into touching me, that would have fucked me up. So, I feel like the real question becomes, quite simply...does she want the D? If she wants the D, she can be young and enjoy getting the D. If she's a naive thing who's kinda sorta into it and gets manipulated into bed…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/20 06:01 AM
2

This is not quite right to me. I'm probably around a 140IQ. Yes, I really enjoy debate, and don't hugely care for small talk. But I don't think that's what has killed me in the past. If anything, trying to go through the motions of things I was hating was the mistake, as was the unwillingness to have the guts to be myself, and defend who I am steadfastly. And as I get older, this becomes a moot point. You're not going to fulfill what I'm looking for? Fine, see ya. It's pointless of me to waste m…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/20 08:11 PM
2

Pretty much yes, especially from a sex standpoint. I can't tell you how much frustration and confusion this would have saved me in my life. It also would help balance things out more in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/19 04:07 PM
2

It's a difficult question. If you take approach of 'bagging' a man to stay, it means he has to think very highly of you in a certain way. And that way usually has to do with seeing some idealistic version of you, and that's only partially under your control (Unless you want to find a kind of best buddy to hang out with, but if you did, you wouldn't ask the question this way). The honest answer is that I women I fell for, I wrote the script for them in my own head. They were just...there, being p…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/19 04:01 PM
1

I'm 39, and I've officially lost touch with the mainstream scene. I like rock and metal, and dislike rap and r&b. In another time maybe I could have been the desirable frontman, but that looks different now. Instead I would be the middle-age dude playing tracks for 12 other middle-age dudes that actually know the shit. Even 10 or 20 years ago, the metal/prog scene wasn't exactly pussy central.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/19 10:40 PM
1

The thing about classical is that you risk going deeper and deeper into things until you can't relate to how non-classical people think anymore. So, you might have spent endless hours refining something, possibly at gunpoint by brutal professors asking the impossible of you as you near nervous breakdown, but most people aren't even going to know the difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/19 10:31 PM
1

Problem is it's dammed hard to make a living as a musician these days. I'm one of many who does other things for money while keeping my music as a hobby, because I don't want to be a starving artist.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/19 10:28 PM
1

I was a huge prog-rock and metal nerd growing up, so I was obsessed with stuff like getting my John Petrucci solo note-for-note perfect. Girls would tell me flat out they loved it when guys strummed a few chords and sang classics to them, and I was almost offended. Like...yeah if I spent 1/100th of the time it took to do this other shit working on that, I'm sure I could do it but...ugh.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/19 10:27 PM
2

I think there's some accuracy here, but at the same time...who does care about people in the abstract like that? Almost everyone who does has come to it from a specific, individual example. You don't imagine starving people in Africa, you imagine a starving person in Africa.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/19 07:16 PM
1

I think the lesson to be had for men, is that there is enough crossover between men and women, that "just think of her like a guy/like yourself" is going to be an improvement for many men. Those men were probably thinking about her like some weird alien creature who cannot be fathomed.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/19 07:09 PM
3

Serious question: Do you care if they are actually good at the guitar? As a musician, I have a bit of bias and frustration here, because plenty of people can strum a few chords, but only about 1% of them actually achieve the ability that qualifies them as a 'musician' to a professional standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/19 05:52 PM
1

I really think we're better off separating 'love' into two different things: The weak-kneed, butterfly feeling that you get, but doesn't last for ever, and the less powerful but longer-lasting connection you can feel with someone. You can be, and I have been, in love (the first kind) with someone who I didn't actually like that much as a person. But to this day, I can see a photo of her, with those eyes of hers, and I remember why, and feel like there was something special there that transcended…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/19 05:48 PM
1

The only love anyone ever knows is the one they feel. Just because it doesn't make sense to you doesn't mean they aren't feeling it. The thing you're not getting is that men see in beautiful woman the representation of a feminine ideal; an unbelievably attractive, appealing, and simultaneously terrifying example of femininity that pushing millions-of-years-old primal buttons in their brains. There is MASSIVE power in being chosen, being accepted, and getting to be with a woman who reflects that …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/19 05:40 PM
1

More cynical. I sometimes wonder if it wouldn't have been best if I had gotten to marry the girl I feel in love with in 12th grade. Keep the idealism unblemished. There's no way I can think the same way about women who came after, both because they came after, and because my heart got smashed into tiny bits.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/19 04:57 AM
1

I'm actually more of a ass man, but yes and no. First of all, I think there are different kinds of relationships. We have to remember that our sensibilities on this are modern, and not shared by humans throughout much of history. You can think of each other as 'man' and 'woman', and not be best buds, or you could be best buds. You can also work off of mystery, and your initial attraction. I don't think it's entirely alien to women to imagine being attracted, and hoping he's just doesn't say anyt…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/19 04:41 AM
1

Part of it is that men spend time with attractive women they would never spend time with if they weren't attractive. They don't spend time with dudes they find totally unlikable because they have no reason to. So you're often trying to work your way through a conversation you're not super into, and you wouldn't be having that conversation at all if not for boobs.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/19 01:30 AM
2

What men often want from women involves sex, but also acceptance, worth, initiation, etc. That power of that girl you like deciding she likes you enough to show you her boobs goes well beyond what women often think of when they think of casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/19 02:31 AM
5

It comes from the trope that the good guy wins. That's every movie guys grew up watching. We were also told to 'treat women right'. So we think we are doing all that society told us to do, but it's not working. Add on top of that the idea that young men especially idealize attractive women. She just has to be a bastion of justice when it comes to doling out that oh-so-important gift of her beauty and sex, otherwise the world is just fucked. A lot of guys have to go through a disillusionment phas…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/19 02:28 AM
11

I've run into this frequently. It usually comes in the form of, "If women don't like you, it must be because they looked into your soul and saw how horrible a human you were."
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/19 02:25 AM
6

First of all, internet dating is not real life. It's all the shallowest aspects of dating without the human connection you get from have an actual living, breathing human across from you. What people do in that environment does not reflect the exact choices they would make if they were in a room talking to those same people. Second, internet dating becomes a numbers game. Sure, no guy, no matter how attractive, is batting 1.000. But he doesn't need to, because there's so many women there. A real…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/19 07:30 PM
2

At no point in my life have I ever want to fuck someone other than who I wanted to fuck. Some of them were thin, some were less so. Whatever the reasons, I simply somehow wound up in a place where it became "wow, I really want to fuck her." If that doesn't happen, and I don't want to fuck you, then I don't want to fuck you. Simple as that. I has nothing to do with pride...who the fuck pursues someone for pride? Bottom line, there's not a negotiation to be had about who I desire. If I was purely …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/19 07:13 PM
1

If trans people are human like the rest of us, then doesn't it follow that some of them are going to be shitty human beings at the same rate as the rest of us? And I don't even think you have to be that shitty a human being to succumb to the opportunities the current political environment is giving you. It's gotta be tempting, whether you're talking about getting money and fame and attention by competing against a WAY easier field, or just enjoying getting some free attention and praise in gener…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/19 11:20 AM
4

38yo, depends on several things: What mindset am I in? If I'm not really in the mood to deal with people, and not giving any plus to that, but I'm horny, then a cute young thing seems ideal. If I'm more interested in connecting with a peer, and can see the path to really good sex that way, then I'm more inclined to someone my own age. Did I know them back when? A good portion of the women on my facebook from high school are still basically recognizable as themselves. A couple declined, often due…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/19 11:14 AM
1

Not attractive gay men? Unattractive gay men will have the same problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/19 04:13 AM
1

I think that for a man over 35 dating gets exponentially easier Man over 35 here. NOT by default, but because you're better at it. You're able to have superior control over the situation now. It's also possible that men of that age can seem more attractive initially because women are assuming the age speaks to your ability to handle things. As far as who I want to date, it depends. I'm not going to say the desire to date younger women isn't the shallower desire, but shallow isn't always horrible…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/19 07:10 AM
3

Yeah, I kinda have to agree this will wind up being 95% men.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/19 05:46 AM
1

We were friends for months before it even occurred to me to consider him sexually. But then....something clicked. And hot damn. Fair enough, sadly I can't say that has ever been a feature of my experience with women I've known, and I tend to really wish the friends first route would have worked. Mostly I got/get really into them and then they act like I'm insane for going there, or I meet someone who gets into me quick and I'm thinking 'who the hell are you, and how can you compare?', and that's…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/19 09:19 AM
1

and initial sexual attraction is a shit predictor for overall sexual attraction, let alone overall relationship quality I was with you until there. I think attraction is way more fickle than people like to think. 9 times out of 10, for men AND women, the other person just clicked some shallow box that gave you inroads to thinking 'I want them', and that's it. You manage that with people, it's amazing what it takes to kill that idea in their head. You don't manage it, nothing else will matter. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/19 07:02 AM
1

I think the more accurate statement is that men look to idealized ideas of women to inspire them to improve. From there, a few things can happen. Some guys will adjust without issue to whatever works, other guys will get disillusioned that what they see as quality things aren't being noticed by women. Count me among the latter.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/19 06:51 AM
1

I think the general subtext for 'this is what men want' is 'this is what men want when they're sitting at home alone pining about what they want'. Put those same men in actual, real-world situations, and I guarantee you it's not the same. Similarly, if you're feeling wounded and lonely and frustrated, and are spending your time looking at porn, an 18yo Asian girl who cooks and cleans and gives you daily blowjobs sounds fantastic. If you're gonna actually approach being with a person, in like, re…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/19 06:45 AM
2

I partially agree, but I would just point out one thing: You're basically saying, "Fuck all you friendless, loveless, joyless people. Stop being that way, or else I'll continue to demean you for it." Yes, it's annoying when people take their personal problems and make a federal case out of it. Plenty of feminists and other 'activists' are doing that as well. But it's really amazing to me that way we continue to have it be totally OK to bash men for being unattractive and friendless, and it's all…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/19 06:35 AM
1

She wanted your brother ten minutes after meeting him because he’s more physically attractive than you. He not actually that good looking, or that different looking that me.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/19 09:31 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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