Mobile_Scientist_719 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	Discovery vs trial vs settlement conference. Question? Her attorney is asking for documents? I'm in CA. The courts dictate what documents are exchanged. The big one is the schedule of assets and debts which can be hundreds of pages. This document is signed under threat of perjury but isn't actually filed. I remember only having to provide two months of statements except for deferred comp savings that had non-community contributions ... i.e. I started them before marrying her. Then I had to go way back in history. Speediness is controlled by the less…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/05/24 05:58 PM
2	Got the financial proposal... Negotiations are full of games. One strategy is to start extremely high, go for shock and awe, and then offer a deal that is anything but fair but better than crazy This is not advice. It's just akin to what I did. We started off extremely low. We proposed that she should be working towards independence. While alimony or spousal support or mortgage payments aren't totally off the table, there should be a definitive plan to ramp payments down. She should begin career development so she can earn h…	/r/Divorce_Men	29/05/24 03:45 PM
2	Is it wrong to feel relieved and “lighter” after being asked for a divorce? Bit of a roller coaster for me.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/05/24 03:31 PM
0	Why does everyone call their ex a narcissist? EDIT: Being a little more direct after downvote. Mental health is easy pickings. It's a cheap shot. There might be problems there. But it's definitely not the entire picture. It's an easy out for people who would rather point than look in a mirror. Worry about your own faults. After divorce, it's all that's left.	/r/Divorce_Men	29/05/24 02:55 PM
3	Why does everyone call their ex a narcissist? Yeah, the mental health thing bothers me. Mental health is still misunderstood and carries a stigma despite society making improvements elsewhere. Body Positivity. Autism is a spectrum. Gender identity. But we're still stuck labeling people BPD as though it captures a person entirely in a very negative light. I don't know why mental health still lags. I cringe when I see it mentioned here. I see it as an additional marriage strain for sure. But marriages fail for so many varieties of issues and …	/r/Divorce_Men	29/05/24 02:45 PM
2	Women and reality of life. Are they far fetched? Setting aside any sensitivity but being real... Filtering by weight is going to get you vastly different groups. This is the most important setting. "Athletic" or "Slim" will pull up women who have time. They're going to be business owners. Or they may even be "semi retired" or on very flexible schedules. They may be on the right side of the housing crunch. They have time and money for spas, chiropractors, yoga, marathons, travel, highlights, facelifts, and gym trainers. Generally, yeah, they ar…	/r/Divorce_Men	28/05/24 09:52 PM
6	Sickening court garbage Yeah, agreed. It's an industry. Eviction takes less time. And slot machines have better returns.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/05/24 08:05 PM
–	What were the main symptoms of your ex with BPD? I think my ex has BPD but I would like to know what it feels like with them/what they do and to be more sure about it. BPD (it's unclear if you mean bipolar disorder or border line personality disorder) can challenge a marriage. Absolutely. But so can obesity, spending habits, trauma for previous relationships, abuse, sexual assault, intelligence, education, pay scale, family inheritance, religion, children, etc etc. Bipolar disorder is a relatively minor player in failed marriages. Bipolar diagnoses rate is about 2.8% of the total population. The divorce rate is about 42%. Divorce is more prevalent by a factor …	/r/Divorce_Men	28/05/24 06:28 PM
11	Anyone go through with divorce only to get back together down the road? Ever see the Bridge Over the River Kwai? She did one of those. She even whistled. Plus she strutted. I'm mixing movies a bit. Unless you have the most mature, introspective, and honest women alive, or the codependency is crazy strong, divorce is iireversible. I'm talking orders of magnitude "Nope." Divorce is like self immolation in front of the capital building with every news channel watching. The damage will most likely reach "not in a million fucking years" level. But every situation is uniq…	/r/Divorce_Men	26/05/24 05:34 PM
3	STBXW already dating.... Haven't even scheduled mediation Sounds like mediation might be short lived. It's important to bring this up with a lawyer if your concerns are keeping you up at night. From what I've seen, any "fix" will likely be drawn out, a bit of a see saw, and expensive. This is the kind of thing that balloons the cost of divorce. Seems like it'll lead to independent evaluations, psychologists, proving exposure to violence, etc. $$$ But who knows. Maybe lifestyle choices will favor you for custody. I wouldn't say it's none of your busines…	/r/Divorce_Men	26/05/24 05:27 PM
6	Red flags She still lived with her parents while we dated. I headed over to their house. She cooked breakfast for me: toast and coffee. She burnt the toast and reused old coffee grinds.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/05/24 09:43 PM
1	Disrespect Divorce comes with female anger entitlement. I don't understand it myself. I think it's just how society developed from some 15th century model of chivalry and serfdom. Women have made tremendous strides in equality especially in the workforce. Men are still very very much disadvantaged socially. It's just where we are. Hopefully things get better in our lifetime. For now, just realize this is baked in and she's unaware she's a nut job.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/05/24 02:57 PM
2	Question on enforcing order condition Similar experience. I'm in the states. Lawyers and court time are expensive here. Litigating small stuff often cost more than it's worth. YMMV. Examples: She cleaned out the bank account. It had $4000 total. I was technically owed $2000. Not worth it. She totaled her car (community property) and pocketed the insurance check. It was a beater. She got into a lot of accidents. Lots of write offs. Not worth fighting over it. I did DOCUMENT stuff tho. I think that's worth the effort. There is a small…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/05/24 08:05 PM
1	How do I get started? Separate accounts or lawyer? In my state, everything goes from community property to individual at date of separation. But that's a sloppy date. Best to be proactive and put a hard wall between all accounts. Take snapshots of anything you can't easily close. Document everything. Don't expect cooperation. I was thinking "yeah, budget divorce, we'll be done in six months, we both want divorce." It took three years. Because of course she could.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/05/24 10:47 PM
4	How to not end bitter ? My ex is bitter, angry, and revenge-y enough to make a dozen spaghetti westerns and five Missing in Action sequels. That's plenty. There really isn't much room left for my bitterness. You know how they say distance makes the heart grow fonder? Well, getting the fuck out of dodge makes the bitterness disappear. Edit: Well, my bitterness at least.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/05/24 10:39 PM