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Mommy_Koala Archive

View 0 posts and 70 comments by Mommy_Koala on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
18

I really dislike using the hormone card on my fellow women, but I have to say this: IVF hormones aren’t going to bring out the best in you. Your feelings are valid, but most likely amplified due to 6 months worth of synthetic hormones running through your system. I’ve been there and I get it. I ugly cried at work in front of all my employees when I found out a relative was pregnant, and I refused to talk to said relative for longer than I care to admit it. Once I found out I was pregnant, I felt…
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/24 12:08 PM
1

Of course OP is entitled to feeling disappointed. However, I don’t think it’s healthy or productive to ruminate over a small grievance for days. That’s just inviting resentment, and OP said he’s apologized. No use beating a dead horse.
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/24 02:47 AM
3

I think it’s simple. You think it’s simple. But for someone who isn’t used to keeping a house full of guests clean for hours on end, it isn’t. I’m sure you know just day to day with your kids at home you’re in a constant state of cleaning. It takes a lot of time management, not to mention perseverance. I can run circles around my husband when it comes to getting things done around the house. That’s not his strength and that’s okay. I think you might have to lower your standards a little for futu…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/24 10:28 PM
6

Marriage is a partnership and both parties should be pulling their own weight, but sometimes our expectations can set us up for disappointment. I have a tendency to take on too much when I’m hosting, which leaves me in a state with too much on my plate. I try to see my husband as the voice of reason when hosting because he tones down my extra-ness, but if I ask him for help, I make sure it’s a realistic ask based on what I know he can deliver. For whatever reason, whatever you asked your husband…
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/24 05:20 PM
7

It’s all about routines, boundaries, and diversions. Your toddler is ready for all three. Have designated safe spaces you can send him to when you need to get things done. Give him the opportunity to learn how to entertain himself. Play some music or an audiobook for background noise while he has his “alone time”. Send him right back to his quiet space every time he interrupts you doing chores. Extend the amount of time each day you leave him to his own devices. Have fun and new diversions plann…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/24 02:16 AM
2

Read “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” by Toni Weschler. I read this back in my TTC days and was shocked at how much I learned.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/24 11:33 PM
4

If you plan on having kids, I would recommend learning to sleep next to one another. I’m not a huge fan of the idea of separate bedrooms when kids are involved. If your husband is that light of a sleeper, make sure he goes to bed cough cough exhausted. I tend to have worry brain at night when my head hits the pillow too. It’s worse if I haven’t been eating well or working out, and if i’ve had too much caffeine too late in the afternoon. I don’t watch any TV and I try to read for an hour or so be…
/r/RedPillWomen30/01/24 05:51 PM
8

The hardest part is being consistent and catching yourself when you get in the doom mood. Try paying attention to what triggers you, and take steps to prevent it from happening. This sounds incredibly obvious, but it took me years to acknowledge and own that I cannot be trusted to act rationally the week before my period. I can go from zero to life in prison over the smallest thing, and the apology tours i’d go on afterwards got really old. Now during that timeframe I make sure i’m getting enoug…
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 05:18 PM
3

I’m assuming they meant something like a LV monogram tote. Women in my area do the crossbody bags too, but you’ll have to pry my tote bag from my cold lifeless hands.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 04:53 PM
9

Interesting. I live in an affluent HCOL area and recently went to a Christmas party for my kid’s travel tream. I was the only Mom there wearing makeup and pants without an elastic waistband. It’s been my experience that sports Moms DGAF what they look like.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 04:49 PM
3

When you have kids, time becomes an invaluable resource. Single income households are time-rich.
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/24 01:02 PM
3

Makes sense. Everyone has different ideas of what “clean” looks like, sounds like you and your husband are on the same page. I love that he was concerned $1 an hour wasn’t enough.
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/23 09:26 PM
11

I’m dying to know how much money you’ve made. I feel like i’d be making a solid $15 every day. It was a sad day when I realized the trick to keeping a clean house (at least for me) is to always be cleaning. My secret is baskets. I have strategically placed baskets throughout my house that I dump every little toy, trinket and tchotchke my kids love to leave hanging around. I make them go through it periodically to toss things they’ve forgotten about and put the rest away.
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/23 08:20 PM
19

He’s not done with the OW. It’s as simple as that. If you want to work things out with him, be prepared for trickle truths and death by 1000 cuts. You’ve probably only scratched the surface of what he’s done. Or you could just assume he’s done the worst you can imagine and come to terms with it. Affairs can be overcome, but both parties have to want reconciliation and it sounds like he isn’t there yet, his actions aren’t lining up with his words. I would focus on shielding my kids from it as muc…
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/23 03:23 PM
4

There’s a lot you can do completely independent of your partner to work on your libido. Check your hormones, are you on SSRI’s, workout, cut back on sugar and alcohol, read a romance novel, watch a sexy movie, scroll through the ladyboners sub, masturbate. Hope this helps.
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 02:21 PM
1

Agreed, parents should do everything possible to provide a loving and stable marriage as a foundation for their family. That means working out issues when they arise and not jumping to divorce as the solution . I’d argue there are few circumstances in this sub where we’re getting a full enough picture to ever advocate for the OP to leave the father of their children.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/23 01:25 PM
0

Correlation doesn’t equate causation is the classic argument someone uses when they don’t want to confront their own confirmation bias. You need to ask yourself why you think husbands are so disposable to wives, and why fathers are so disposable to children. I’ve spent an entire day trying to have a conversation in good faith with you about this and I won’t do it again.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/23 12:48 PM
0

I’m sorry, I just think it’s really irresponsible to recommend single motherhood to an already stressed out Mom
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/23 02:08 AM
6

Children raised in two parent households have better outcomes due to the extra support, stability, and resources. There’s tons of research that supports this, we’re just not supposed to talk about it.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/23 01:50 AM
3

It’s certainly a choice, not the one we should be recommending to OP
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/23 01:38 AM
-3

For the sake of keeping an intact household for their children , most mothers would move heaven and earth to fix their “shitty marriage”. OP said her husband is a “good partner and good dad”. Single motherhood isn’t the answer here, no matter how happy this commenter is with their lifestyle.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/23 01:36 AM
-14

Being single for 25 years isn’t the flex you think it is
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/23 12:50 AM
92

You’re burnt out. Focus on what YOU can do for YOU. 3 and 9 months is a rough age spread. Don’t fall into the Martyr Mommy trap, you must find time for yourself everyday where you’re doing something just for you. Use your resources and be strategic, this is what pack and plays and screens are for. Adopt a “but did you die?” mindset here. They might cry and scream and demand your attention at first, but it’s okay to set boundaries with your kids, even when they’re this young. I’d even argue it’s …
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/23 11:22 PM
2

If he was trying to lose weight, would you feel the same way? Or is it just because he has a naturally lean frame? It seems unfair to hold that against him. I have a home gym too. My husband gets up early in the morning to workout, and often works out again in the afternoon or evening. All our meals are planned around his dietary preferences, I would hate to think the meals i’m making are undermining his fitness efforts. Try to be happy that he’s keeping himself healthy for his family and redire…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/23 08:12 PM
15

Spot on. I am stunned at the amount of people jumping to an ED here. Dude just wants to eat clean and work out a couple of hours every day. There are way worse habits to have.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/23 07:45 PM
25

The biggest gift you can give your children is a strong marriage
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/23 05:32 PM
39

Agree with everything you’ve said. I can’t stress the importance of your sentiments for new Moms as well. You have to take responsibility for your own sex drive. It’s a really big deal for a husband to get repeatedly rejected by the woman he loves. It sows the seeds of resentment and creates a horrific toxic feedback loop that can wreck marriages beyond hope. Before anyone flips out, I’m not at all suggesting that a mother’s lack of sex drive occurs in a vacuum. But if you can’t remember the las…
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/23 04:17 PM
1

Okay
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/23 01:36 PM
11

I went through something similar since I was the first of my friend group to have kids. I’m still the only SAHM in my social circle. It can be really isolating and I have to work hard to overcome that and not let it impact my marriage. You’ve probably already figured out that your childless friends will never be able to relate to you, and they don’t want to. But it’s important for Moms to have a community of support with people who do. Get new friends. Once your kids are older and enrolled in ac…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/23 10:22 PM
3

I’m sorry OP, I didn’t realize you weren’t married already. That along with the cheating would have been relevant information to include in your original post. Healing from infidelity can take a long time, and it requires the desire for reconciliation from both partners. I’d offer more advice, but I don’t feel I have enough information about your relationship at this point to draw from. With that being said, I highly recommend Esther Perel. She has an interesting take on infidelity and how to ov…
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/23 01:29 PM
11

I’d describe my husband as bulked, he’s tall and broad and has muscle mass but isn’t shredded or lean by any means. I’m half his size and like feeling small so this body type works for me. I have no problem voicing concern about his weight if I think he’s getting too soft, and I have in the past. But working out and diet have always been a collaborative effort in our house, especially since having kids. He’s receptive to these conversations because he knows I make 99% of his meals and will make …
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/23 04:03 PM
2

It’s actually a liquid in a pump bottle, not a powder spray in an aerosol can. Unless he’s a hairstylist he probably wont know, maybe tell him it’s leave in conditioner lol
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 04:15 PM
2

Same, I had no dandruff or itchies so it never occurred to me as a possibility. I also use tret daily and suspect that puts my oily skin into overdrive. I do workout most days, after I do, I hit my hairline/sweaty areas with a dry shampoo that goes on wet (the one I use is by R + Co called Spiritualized). Then I blast it with a blow dryer.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 04:04 PM
9

I will honestly say I think way too many women make their happiness directly dependent on their partner’s validation of their feelings. Who’s the arbiter of appropriate remorse level in these situations? My husband isn’t going to repeatedly self-flagellate because I didn’t like his reaction to something he considers minor. Harping on it would make me……a harpy. And generally a miserable person to be around. Guess who really won’t care about my emotional wellbeing? A miserable husband who thinks i…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 03:14 PM
5

Have you tried shampooing with Nizoral 1x a week? Sometimes oily scalp can be a symptom of SD. My scalp got progressively oilier over the years until I started doing this. After a few weeks I noticed a huge difference and can now shampoo every 3 days.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 02:44 PM
13

Take a newspaper, roll it up, and boop him on the nose with it. Sounds silly huh? It’s not your place to “hold him accountable” or punish him. You can’t force him to understand and validate your feelings. That you even want to highlights the problem. This sounds like a control issue. Learning to let things go isn’t the same as “letting him get away with it”. It’s about living with grace and mercy and not letting resentment into your marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/23 02:15 PM
13

I hope for your sake your husband is willing to work things out. If he is, I think you need a serious perspective change, and fast. It sounds like your husband doesn’t enjoy coming home or being around you. Considering he married you, and had a child with you, I’m assuming this wasn’t always the case. Something (or many things) you’ve done has caused this. It doesn’t matter if you think you’re at fault or not, you need to own it and focus on what you can control in this situation (you). You can’…
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/23 10:34 PM
3

Thank you, I really appreciate it!
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/23 10:22 PM
2

But maybe she did initially. I’ve been in this exact spot and was trying to point out how easy it is to fall into and potentially enable this kind of dynamic as a SAHM. I’m going to disengage from discussing this further with you, our conversation isn’t productive or helpful to OP.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/23 06:00 PM
4

It’s not nothing though. He might be wondering why he’s busting his butt at work to give his wife and kids the lifestyle she asked for, and comes home to a miserable household everyday. It’s not uncommon for SAHM’s to be in prisons of their own making. It’s easy to be in this kind of setup and want to do everything yourself. It’s easy to take on too much during the day and take your frustrations out on your husband when he gets home. I don’t think we have enough information to go on here, OP has…
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/23 04:47 PM
1

I’m not going to respond to an argument I didn’t make.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/23 03:13 PM
7

OP asked how to get over her resentment. Reinforcing that we think her husband sucks will help her how? Also, her situation isn’t unique. Take a scroll through IG. There’s tons of reels making light of this exact situation. I’m not saying it’s right or fair, but parenthood is a wild ride and dads are allowed to struggle in that transition too. Their struggle just looks a lot different.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/23 02:33 PM
6

The point being she can’t control her husband’s thoughts or behavior, just her reaction to it. What’s the point of dwelling on that? Toddler years suck, but in the grand scheme of parenting they’re a blip on the timeline. Surely you understand this from all that babysitting you did.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/23 02:07 PM
6

I wouldn’t call working all day to put a roof over our head, clothes on our backs and food on the table no matter what the economy looks like “abandoning ship”
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/23 02:02 PM
21

Homeschooling Mom of two here, my kids are 18 months apart so similar age spread too. Wow have I been here. My youngest was really needy and refused to be put down from like 6 months to 4 years old. It was like living with a terrorist everyday and my back has never fully recovered. My husband’s back is just fine, but his elbow is a little tweaked from all the golfing he did escaping the madness at home. So believe me, I get it. I can joke about it now, but looking back on it, I honestly don’t bl…
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/23 08:34 PM
7

He was open and honest early on about where he saw our relationship going and what that timeline would look like. Being his own boss was really important to him and he wasn’t thinking about marriage until he hit that milestone. He needed me to be okay with that and I was.
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/23 07:48 PM
16

I’m celebrating my 15 year wedding anniversary this month. My husband and I moved in together within the first year of dating. We joined finances maybe a year later. By this point we had discussed marriage in the distant future. My husband left his well paying job to start his own business, and I took a promotion with a better salary and a 90 minute commute to help out. One of the things I found attractive about my husband was how ambitious and responsible he was. He had goals and a plan and kne…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/23 04:55 PM
3

You didn’t direct this towards me but if I may put in a couple of my thoughts: I think because drag queens are gay men, who by default don’t want to sleep with women, their sexist act is given a pass by women because they’re not seen as a threat. Because they don’t want anything from us (sex) if must all be in good fun right? Drag queens look and act like fever dream versions of porn stars. Meanwhile the drag kings i’ve seen are wearing bespoke suits and acting cool and sophisticated. And they a…
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/23 07:23 PM
2

I did. I’m now homeschooling my children and teaching them to think for themselves.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/23 05:32 PM
22

A series of events: Spending a decade climbing the corporate ladder, mentored by strong, independent and driven woman I admired. Only to have my loyalty and “commitment to the business” constantly questioned the second I became pregnant. Seeing a picture of my embryo prior to my IVF egg transfer and realizing that’s what a “clump of cells” really is. Being called a “racist” anytime I questioned the policies of a black president I voted for twice. Watching my husband, a small business owner, get …
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/23 01:56 PM
21

I’m not sure what the surrendered wife approach would be, but I would advise against enabling his addiction by participating in and reinforcing it. You studying up on how to be his perfect anime sex doll doesn’t really scream “this is a problem that will destroy our family!” I find his fixation with anime porn especially troubling. Do some research on that, there’s often a pipeline between anime porn and more disturbing content. For that reason, if I were you, I would focus on what I can control…
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/23 05:00 PM
8

Not sure if you’re aware, but LHR is an arduous process. It could take a year or more before you get the desired results. You won’t be able to wax at all during that timeframe, only shave, and it won’t permanently remove all of your hair. Only reduce. You’ll always need touch ups too. Good luck if you have kids after too, hormonal fluctuations cause a lot of regrowth. If hair removal plays that big of a part in your life, I definitely recommend you do it. But it’s pretty selfish to ask your husb…
/r/RedPillWomen17/05/23 08:13 PM
1

LOL. “Oh my god that’s craaaaaazy”
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/23 07:27 PM
2

LOL. “Oh my god that’s craaaaaazy”
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/23 07:26 PM
10

SAHM to 2 kids. My husband owns his own business and pays all the bills. I have zero clue how money gets from his business to our personal account. We don’t have a budget and I buy what I want. He would be annoyed if I asked his permission to buy things, but I do give him a heads up if I make a purchase out of the ordinary. This is basically how we operated before we had kids and I was still working. He’ll talk to me about the state of our finances occasionally, but usually in the form of rants …
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/23 02:51 PM
5

If i’m being honest, I think the guy loves his dogs and is hoping you’ll get over it. I think you’ve been very clear on your wants. His lack of action also seems pretty clear. Is this a dealbreaker for you? I think you need to ask yourself that. I don’t think there’s much more you can do that won’t look like direct manipulation of the situation which will only breed resentment. He might resent you in the future for it anyways. Are you okay with that?
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/23 10:36 PM
1

If his actions towards you prove he’s changed for the better, and you really like him and want it to work, you need to make yourself unavailable to the gossip. Either this guy is public enemy #1 and everyone he’s ever met is determined to sabotage his relationship, or you’re crowd sourcing for gossip, perhaps unintentionally. The next time someone approaches you with scandalous details of his past shut the conversation down. You’re not going back in a time machine to date a former version of him…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/23 01:45 AM
22

It sounds like maybe he’s dealing with some extra stress. If my husband is stressed out the last thing he wants to hear about is my hurt feelings or love languages. He may already feel like he has enough on his plate right now and doesn’t need the added pressure of your criticisms on top of it. If he’s anything like my husband, his tone of voice and word choice could seem pretty inconsequential to other things he’s dealing with. If my husband seems stressed out like this it’s something work rela…
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/23 02:30 PM
2

I think it’s a balance. Are you genuinely busy with things that bring you joy, or are you actively avoiding meeting people? As long as it’s the former (and the things that bring you joy aren’t netflix marathons and not leaving the house), you’re fine.
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/23 12:14 AM
5

Staying out of the dating scene until you feel ready will not turn you into an old cat lady. I think it’s smart to work on yourself and be secure in who you are before you try and build a life with someone. I did start that young. One fateful night when I was 21, I fell for a boy wearing cargo shorts at a bar. He spent the night negging me and fixing his popped polo collar and I was a goner. He’s my ride or die now, but I have to acknowledge that we went through a lot of growing pains together. …
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/23 11:19 PM
3

My husband is the sole income earner in our marriage, I don’t handle anything money related. That’s a big job in our house, and as a business owner my husband is never not working. So essentially I tend to him by making his life easier whenever and wherever I can. This means cooking, cleaning, laundry, and making sure whenever he runs out of something there’s always a backup waiting for him. I do all the decorating and shopping and handle all the holidays and scheduling of events and social cale…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/23 09:11 PM
11

I grew up in a broken home. I Haven’t spoken to my father in 30 years and my mother is giving Elizabeth Taylor a run for her money in the marriage department. Her taste in men is horrible so I grew up with one terrible step-father after the next. I could say I want better for my children, and sure that’s true. But I also pride myself on being a resilient person. I did a short stint of therapy in my early 20’s which opened my eyes to how terrible it is to feel sorry for yourself all the time. Too…
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/23 03:05 PM
4

Thanks, I appreciate that. I think a lot probably depends on the type of guy. My husband just happens to be a very social person compared to me, compounded by the fact that he works all day, everyday by himself. I also know he has a lot of weight on his shoulders, and needs to feel like he can disconnect from home responsibilities when he needs to. The trade off is my husband is rarely in a bad mood. He never raises his voice or seems stressed out and has endless patience with our kids. I always…
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/23 12:30 AM
20

I have a FOMO husband and this is something we definitely struggled with when we added children to the mix. My husband didn’t adjust to fatherhood very well, which is understandable because I know I struggled adjusting to motherhood too. Mistakes were made. But I’ve learned along the way how to navigate co-parenting with a partner who is a smidge selfish and would rather cut his arm off than turn down a social invitation. The fact that your BF offered to cut down his time away to 2x a week at le…
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/23 12:22 PM
23

It sounds to me like your insecurities have led you to believe he’s capable of cheating, and you’re hand selecting evidence that supports this fear.
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/23 07:30 PM
24

That depends, you’ve just given a lot more information than in your original post. Is he catcalling other women in front of you and has a raging porn addiction? None of these things mean he’ll cheat, and a man can act like a total boyscout to your face and still be capable of infidelity.
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/23 07:15 PM
82

Using wisdom gained from almost 20 years with my husband, I can tell you this is a nothingburger. Don’t waste anymore of your energy overthinking this. You can’t police his thoughts and language when you aren’t around. It’s impossible to even know what he truly meant considering it was a conversation you walked in on and wasn’t meant for your ears. Younger me would have blown up over this and created a lot of llama drama. Trust me when I say life comes at you fast, and will serve you up real pro…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/23 07:04 PM
10

I’ll admit I don’t fully understand the concept of “the wall” and I don’t think I want to. As someone who’s knocking on 40 this year and stopped getting carded long ago, let me tell you, it can’t be avoided. What you can do is take care of your body and skin to mitigate the damage as much as possible. Sunscreen everyday, moisturize, tretinoin (not in that order). Botox and filler are tricky, it’s really easy to go overboard, especially when all your friends are the same age and look like Real Ho…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/23 01:53 PM
3

The laundry struggle. I swear if I go 12 hours without doing a load, suddenly all the hampers are full. It’s a mystery. I like to make hashbrown crusts for my quiches in a springform pan that i’ve lined with parchment paper. It makes removing the quiche from its mold super easy. Then i’m able to wrap the whole thing in cling wrap, then I add a layer of foil over it before putting it into the fridge.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 03:56 PM
12

This is my first comment in here, i’ve been lurking for a little bit trying to learn the lay of the land, but I feel like this is my wheel house and I can offer some help. My husband has similar expectations to yours when it comes to cooking and cleaning, and I struggled at first to find my domestic groove. My mother wasn’t the greatest example despite being a SAHM, and my MIL washed her garage floors once a week on her hands and knees. So my Husband and I have two very different ideas of what’s…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/23 02:48 AM
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