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MoodyMusical Archive

View 0 posts and 79 comments by MoodyMusical on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

That's exactly what happened to me. I was a springboard
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/23 02:54 PM
5

Separation was in August and she was engaged in September. Divorce was final in May and she remarried in June.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/23 01:27 AM
4

You have to accept the feelings and process them. I never understood what "processing feelings" actually meant until very recently. Not processing them is rejecting them, shaming yourself for having them, making them go away with substances or activities, just burying them in general. When you do that they stay there and bubble back up in the form of mental health issues like depression and rage. Processing them is accepting that this shit hurts. It's sad and it's ok to be sad. It's allowing you…
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 06:39 PM
0

Nobody wants to reflect on themselves. It's much easier to blame someone else. Cries of abuse are the ultimate way to avoid personal responsibility. Also there's nothing wrong with therapy and it's pretty shitty you insinuate there is. It is definitely something to be proud of.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 04:06 AM
6

I'm about 7 years and ~30k into just trying to be in my kids life. I don't get people like you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 03:15 AM
1

Because it's human nature to blame someone else. Just look around, the same behavior is all over this sub.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 11:22 PM
1

Open communication and a shared commitment to the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 11:19 PM
2

You already know what you will be going back to and you already know that you cannot take any more of that. The only path forward that will free you of the pain is to learn to care for and respect yourself. That's what the abuse has taken from you and that is what you need to be able to handle the abuse going forward. Educate yourself on trauma, what it does to us and how to heal from it. Find a therapist you connect with, one you respect and trust, and be open with them.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 06:38 PM
6

You have lost care and respect for yourself. It's one of the primary goals of abusers. It makes you easier to control. She will meet someone else and you will regret it. You will be consumed with jealousy. She will work hard to ensure you are hurt as much and as long as possible. She counts on you having those feelings so that you remain her victim. Being the target of an abuser is some pretty bad shit, my best advice is to get into therapy and learn how to respect and care for yourself and what…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 05:29 PM
3

Accept the consequences of your actions and be a better person. Don't go making things worse by trying to avoid them.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 08:09 AM
2

It's either way too early to be having these kinds of thoughts or way too late to have kept this kind of info from them. It's a moot point if you're not being honest about yourself. No good relationship has ever been started with deceit. Even if it's only lying by omission. When the truth comes out they will either leave because you lied or stay because they accept your lies. Either way it doesn't bode well for you. Finding it hard to make a rational decision has much less to do with your divorc…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 06:41 AM
3

Some people like to hurt themselves and call it growth.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 06:40 AM
0

This place is full of hurt men living in a reality twisted by that pain. I strongly advise you to not lose yourself in it. Women are human. There are evil ones and good ones. The evil ones can be good at times and the good ones can be evil. It's a basic fact of humanity and has nothing at all to do with gender. The only thing we can do is always watch out for our self, protect and care for our self above all else. If we truly do that the bad won't hurt as bad and we will be free to enjoy the goo…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 03:56 PM
0

This is well said. I think it's important to recognize though that for some people all those things you list is exactly what they want and there is nothing wrong with that.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 03:00 PM
1

Yes it does. I'm one year out next month and I've found over the past couple months I have stopped thinking about her more and more. I go days now without her really crossing my mind except in passing. It helps a lot to stay busy, something I really struggle with. I'm starting to volunteer next week and went picking up trash yesterday and hope to make that a regular thing. Imo you will never be completely over her, y'all shared a love and I'm sure it was full of good times as well as bad. You're…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 02:14 PM
4

Because they want to get their dick wet. It's only a matter of time before they get slapped in the face that they are stuck with a mentally unstable cheater. Then they end up here.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 01:31 PM
3

I personally don't think many of us are able to be happy alone, we crave social connection. The key is learning how to get that social connection without everything a relationship brings along with it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 03:56 PM
3

No, you shouldn't be thinking about a relationship. You should be prioritizing yourself. Learning to live with yourself and care for yourself and prioritize yourself above all else. When you do that the rest will naturally follow. Yes dating will feel shallow right now because you're not looking for a date, you're looking for someone to fill that deep hole inside of you. You might find them but at the same time they might find you and before you know it you're back in a toxic situation. There is…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 03:48 PM
6

My ex did the same. In a relationship within a couple weeks of separation, engaged a couple months later, then married before the ink dried on the judges signature. It absolutely boggled my mind. I went through a range of emotions over it all. First was humor, it was just such an incredulous timeline. Then hurt that our relationship seemed to be all one long act. Then worry that she is setting herself up in a bad situation and is going to get hurt. Then finally relief. When I accepted that she h…
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 02:56 PM
1

It's like clockwork. Really sucks, especially when you were there for them through so much.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 09:57 PM
2

Grey rock is the only thing that will ever give you any kind of peaceful life.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 04:22 PM
1

I don't need validation from her, i get it from myself. Yes i wasn't the perfect partner, especially towards the end, but i was also in an extremely shitty situation she created through not prioritizing me, our life together, or our marriage. Even at the end i was doing everything i could to try to save it, lots of work on myself, while she decided to do someone else instead. She prioritized drugs, alcohol, and partying over our marriage and that's what ended it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 04:10 PM
1

Yes.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 01:47 PM
5

Same experience here. Quit wearing it, too fat excuse, refusal to resize, then another dude not long after.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 01:16 PM
2

I can relate to a lot of this. She backburnered me and that was pretty much the end of it. Within a year she was banging another dude. In retrospect it all makes sense but I couldn't see it at all at the time.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 02:18 AM
2

You can have someone around without all the drawbacks you mention. You can have a relationship without it being the entirety of your experience, or even a significant part of it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 02:15 AM
1

I'm in the exact same place. Went on a date with her today and we walked around the lake and talked for hours. I swear I could just listen to her thoughts forever. Just remember the lessons you've learned and don't let these feelings overshadow your self. You will be ok alone. If this works out then great, if it doesn't then that's ok too. If there are red flags then don't ignore them. If you feel like you have to change or hide yourself then that's a red flag. Open and honest communication at a…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 02:10 AM
1

Sorry you see life that way. I would imagine it sucks pretty bad.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 11:27 AM
2

That's funny, I moved to TN to be closer to family. We just swapped places. She was with another dude a week after we separated and married him a month after we divorced. Luckily you won't have to worry about stepping into that madness. We just need to be ready to help that dude out when he shows up here.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 12:18 AM
1

Everything that happens to you, good or bad, can be a growth opportunity.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 10:54 PM
3

3 months ago I left my ex in California and drove to Tennessee 😂 I hope your relocation goes as well as mine has.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 10:48 PM
1

Not in the least bit. She was an amazing person and did many great things for me. She's also a flawed human being just like me, just like every one of us. I hate the person she became and I'm aware enough to know that's the person she was all along but I own my part in bringing that out of her. I also know that the last year of our marriage isn't the entirety of her. In the end I wish her well and hope she has a happy and joyful life.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 10:46 PM
1

It can be hard to take an honest look in the mirror and take accountability for our life, especially when we've been through so much. It's one of the hardest things we will ever do. Be proud of yourself that you are able to see that and be even more proud that you will take steps to address it. The path out of the nightmare is long and difficult but it's nothing compared to what we have already been through. That book is really good. It led me to the Mankind Project and joining a men's group. I'…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 05:57 PM
1

Quit concentrating on other people and put your focus on yourself. If you continue to rely on others for your validation and worth you will be right back here once the next one crashes and burns. As long as you keep to this mentality it will. Pick up the book No More Mr Nice Guy and put it into practice. You are in control of your life, you just don't believe it. You have a lot of worth, you just can't see it. Both of those combine to put you in a state of anxiety and depression and helps to ens…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 05:08 PM
1

For the first wife, who was very abusive, 8 years after the marriage ended. The second wife, where the marriage was destroyed by ongoing trauma from the first, almost a year. Losing the love of my life broke me harder than I have ever been before and that drove me to desperately seek help after a failed suicide attempt. I tried everything, it ended up taking a ketamine prescription to end my nightmare for good. I've been out of it for about 6 months now and life is better than it has been for as…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 05:04 AM
1

It takes time. It was 7 months before I was able to find myself again and another 4 before I started really taking care of him. Everyone has their own timeline, don't stress yours. Let yourself grieve and take whatever steps you can to care for yourself. If those steps are small or even nonexistent that's ok. You will get through this and when you do life won't be so dim.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 06:03 PM
3

If you believe you need to see a psych you should see a psych. And you should do it for you and nobody else. You have to own your mental health and yes, she can attempt to use it against you if you do go. You have to accept that and accept that you are there for you and that your stability is worth it. Imo a therapist you click with is worth far more than a psych. I also believe everyone should be in regular therapy. Having a neutral party that you trust and respect helping you through life is w…
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 05:57 PM
2

Nashville area. Take a ride, grab a beer, and bitch about our exes. Hope your journey is great.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 03:15 PM
1

I got past it by finally accepting that my anger and bitterness did nothing but hurt myself, which is exactly what she wants. I had to learn acceptance and practice it constantly. It took a long time and there was so much pain but I was able to get through it. You will too.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 01:08 PM
2

You will never be fully over it and people that believe that are naive and in denial. You shared a significant part of your life with someone and that ending hurts. That's how grief works.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 01:05 PM
-1

No. I'm a traditionalist and will stay that way. I don't want a career woman, I want a wife. I make plenty enough for everyone.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 03:27 AM
1

Because they hurt. I erased everything I could of my ex and I really needed to do that to get where I am.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 03:24 AM
2

Yea, delete one thing!
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 12:17 PM
2

I went through a lot of the same. It sucks balls and is really hard. What I learned was to turn my focus on myself. Focusing on other people, especially her, has been the source of all my unhappiness. I had no identity because of that. It destroyed me when she betrayed me because of that. Because I relied on her to be the one to be there for me, to see me and care for me, because I was never there for myself. Since I've learned that and actually have taken concrete steps to correct it my life ha…
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 05:48 PM
1

I'm not the one getting butt hurt here man. I'm just trying to inject some rationality. If you read close I didn't disagree with your overall point, just one specific aspect of it. Yes I judge the way you present in your comment but I don't judge you. Just your ideas. Yes there is a lot of hate here but that's ok, that's what hurt people do. Hurt people hurt others, especially themselves. I honestly and sincerely hope you can find peace. Hate isn't the way to it and I hope you can see that one d…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 03:43 PM
19

Things are never black and white, it's always some shade of grey. We all frame situations in a way that helps us move past them. It's how we survive. That applies to you too, there's far more to the story than what you read when you went prying. You can ignore it and decide she is some perfect specimen in a bad situation. You can decide she is evil incarnate and leading you on. Either of those will be doing yourself a disservice because the reality is she is a hurt human being doing what we do b…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 02:33 PM
1

The thing about hate is it blinds us. We use pain to justify it and lose the ability to see it for what it is. I spent a long time in that darkness, many years. It's comforting for the moment but ultimately destroys us. I hope you can find your way past it one day.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 01:54 PM
2

It's easy to avoid that by not being harassing or creepy. Work on social skills. Part of that is casually chatting someone up and treating them like a person rather than an objective. When I started doing that things got much better.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 01:18 PM
2

The snapchatter is a scam. Keep at it and you'll realize how common it is. Dating apps have plants that will like you to get you to sub. Most of them are a shit show just trying to get you to open your wallet but you can sometimes meet genuine people there.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 01:15 PM
1

I've been going through this too. We have to work on rediscovering ourselves. It's hard. My best advice is to put other people out of your mind completely and work on your relationship with yourself. Take care of yourself, work for yourself, and take time to connect with and understand yourself. Part of doing that is understanding the need for social connection and working towards giving that to yourself. You have to be friends with yourself first and part of that is recognizing when your friend…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 01:07 PM
-2

She did that to me but I didn't let it twist me. I used to spend a lot of time on divorce forums and lots of people have this exact same story regardless of gender. It's not about gender equality, it's about not allowing pain to consume you with hate. All you're doing is destroying yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 11:07 AM
-6

Nothing screams mental stability better than armchair diagnosing an ex with a mental illness.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 11:10 PM
-1

This behavior is standard human behavior, not gender specific. Some people have really poor character and it has nothing to do with what's between their legs.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 11:07 PM
-1

More like hurt. Some people have poor character and channel that hurt into hatred for an entire sex. It's understandable even if it should be unacceptable.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 11:02 PM
4

Usually because they put that effort into someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 11:00 PM
1

I have I felt hurt and betrayed at some points of our relationship but I'm the man, I should have been able to handle it. This mindset helps keep you from being able to handle it. Women are beautiful and sensitive beings and they should be protected. And this will help ensure it happens again.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 07:45 PM
1

It doesn't solve it, it just buries it. It'll come back.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 07:41 PM
4

Yes but I don't feel any shame or regret over it. I loved and trusted her more than anyone I ever have in my life and my pain was a testament to that. Her coldness helped me come to terms with the fact that she actually wasn't the one for me and helped me to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 07:38 PM
3

Because she tried to run away from her problems without ever realizing they are inside her and will follow her. Anyone can take a trip to Florida, self work is worlds harder. Things like that are good to help ignore the problem and avoid having to come to terms with herself.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 07:24 PM
5

Something similar here. I supported mine through getting her degree and years of trying to establish a career. As soon as she landed a good job she was out.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 12:14 PM
1

About 10 months with a 6 month waiting period.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 03:00 AM
1

It's crazy how we do that. Mine even stayed the weekend with the dude she was cheating with and I just glossed it over and accepted her explanation. Those blinders can be strong.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 02:48 AM
2

That last sentence is how my life is shaping up and it's actually pretty cool.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 02:46 AM
1

She started fucking someone else. She became cold and uncaring and stayed at her friends every chance she got.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 02:41 AM
-5

Because it's easier to blame some nebulous idea of a disorder than come to terms with reality. From what I've seen people that diagnose their exes can't come to terms with their own responsibility for the breakdown of the relationship. They want to blame it on a disorder rather than accept that their ex is a human being in a very shitty situation and is acting accordingly.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 03:30 PM
2

It doesn't magically get better for anyone. We all have to put in the work. We can work on destroying ourselves or work on bettering ourselves. Either way we're going to work, the only difference is what work we do and where it takes us.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 03:23 PM
5

You will need to practice acceptance. Strict boundaries are your friend. Realize boundaries are something you enforce on yourself, not others. Look up the grey rock approach. Don't let her have a single emotion from you. Fight for your rights if need be but let the lawyers do the talking. When she doesn't get what she wants, which is your emotions, her antics will eventually stop. Boundaries, acceptance, and healthy coping methods are all that matters.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 03:21 PM
2

If you believe you are a loser you will feel like a loser. I don't feel like a loser at all. Nothing changed about my circumstances, just my mental state. I have a lot to be proud of and a lot of good stuff going on. Not believing I'm a loser really helped to not be a loser.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 10:25 PM
1

It was me that changed. We moved back to my hometown to fight for custody of my kids and she flipped out. Couldn't get a house because we were still subsidizing her dad, she made everything a conflict, etc. Just completely bailed on me. It broke me and took me a few more years of trying to make it work before I finally left. Hell I was still trying even after I left but she had already found a replacement.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 10:00 PM
1

Learning what works and what doesn't is setting you up for failure. Any decent person will see right through that.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 09:34 PM
3

My only advice is to be genuine. It seems to work great for me. I don't try to put on an act or anything, no flattery or really any compliments. I just talk, tell them what's going on in my life, comment on random stuff, ask them questions and share stories. Every conversation that I've had has moved to texts and a date. I usually flake after that though. One I've stayed talking to but I don't have it in me to take it any farther. I had instant fireworks when I met my ex and it stayed at that le…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 09:30 PM
1

Get a set of 15-20 lb dumbbells. Three times a week do 3 sets of 10 of each; presses, rows, curls, lateral raises, squats, and deadlifts. In two weeks get a set of 20-25 lb. Two weeks later get 25-35 lb. Keep going and don't sweat it if you need to hang out at a tier for a week or two extra, you likely will. On rest days walk at least a mile. That'll take you ~20 mins. Try to get that time as low as you can with sprints but don't overdo it, killing yourself will make you not enjoy it quickly. Th…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 11:14 PM
1

Pretty much everything. It was a bad move.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 10:38 PM
1

I can definitely relate to this. Don't forget to take off the rose colored glasses for her too. There was a lot on her side that helped usher me towards that horrible state. If I had more self respect I would have left years before. My ultimate failure was accepting things I knew I could not accept and trying to work through them. Being true to yourself is hard but so very important.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 02:58 PM
2

Actually in a lot of places she doesn't have to follow the law. That's entirely up to the judge and some are pretty horrible.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 12:22 PM
1

Sorry you're dealing with this. I'm about 30k and 7 years in. It doesn't stop and courts are useless.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 12:22 PM
5

My ex-wife used to have breakdowns like this. I always felt for her and would do whatever I could to support her. What I wish I had done is get far far away much sooner. Life is so much better without that in it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 12:19 PM
3

That's exactly what I did. It costs a lot of money but I would still recommend it. It's freeing.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 11:12 PM
4

Because you actually got your visitation. A lot of us don't.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 10:16 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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