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MortarGoBoom Archive

View 1 posts and 82 comments by MortarGoBoom on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
92

MortarGoBoom/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 02:29 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
16

We had a dead bedroom basically from the moment she ate the wedding cake. We have two beautiful kids, so I stayed for them. But my breaking point was a road to Damascus moment when I realized that I was sick of begging for pity/duty sex every 6-8 months, so I started treating her like the roommate she was. No more flowers, no more gifts, no more hugs, no more kisses, no more love notes & sweet texts for no reason. No more filling her needs while mine were constantly ignored. It took her less tha…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 01:20 AM
2

Sounds to me like you guys are perfect candidates for some couples counseling. It would have the dual benefit of helping you deal with her bad headspace AND it might persuade her to get help on her own to deal with things. But if you've checked out, separation would be the way to go if you want to transition to life without her. Me personally, I would save that as a last resort and exhaust all other options first.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 02:38 PM
2

What do you hope to get out of it?
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 02:23 PM
4

Maybe if you go out and start dating super models to make her jealous? Lol Otherwise no. She's already checked out and is trying to ease out of it with minimal conflict. Just move on, my friend. She's thrown in the towel on you guys.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 02:00 PM
3

FYI: Google lets you ignore certain people. Did wonders for me not having to see my ex's mug randomly. Get in there and change the settings to not show her. You can keep the pictures for later on when you're healed and not constantly traumatize yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 01:57 PM
11

Me too. Sucks for her, but this is now a business transaction. Not your problem anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 08:51 PM
3

Get DNA tests on all those kids before signing any separation agreement paying for child support. If she's been cheating this whole time, you can't be too sure.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 11:13 AM
3

It's a bargaining chip. Is there anything you want that she didn't previously agree to? Otherwise, tell her to pound sand.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 12:25 AM
3

Once you realize that there is nothing to give into and that she has already checked out, it will be easier to get the ball rolling. The act of divorce itself hurts, but once you come out of it on the other side you will in fact be much happier. She checked out already, dude. Don't delay the inevitable.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 03:08 PM
8

I can't stress how important #19 is. I have much better credit and all the big cards were in my name, so she was an authorized user on all my accounts. When she decided to leave she went on $10k worth of shopping sprees and tried saddling me with a bunch of frivolous debt. All the kids activities she put in my cards as well, and even now two years later it's impossible to get her to pay for her half of child activities. Do yourself a favor, as soon as she says anything about divorce or separatio…
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 12:46 PM
4

Don't quit. I promise you, there is light at the end of this tunnel. Before you know it you'll be basking in the sun again, and this will be just a bad memory.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 02:44 AM
5

Good riddance. Learn from this. Go to the gym. Get therapy. Read. Get better. Improve all aspects of your life. Close this chapter and move on better than before!
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 02:39 AM
1

This. Your savings have become a bargaining chip as far as shared assets are concerned. Be prepared to lose half as that's what is legally hers, but if you can show most of it came from you it could prove beneficial to you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 03:55 PM
4

Agreed. It has to be productive. I would pose that question to the therapist. If the arguing isn't productive, or worse yet toxic...might be time to change things up.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 03:19 AM
1

It was a 5 minute zoom call for me. I wore a three piece suit and a big smile on my face the whole time. Felt good.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 02:02 AM
8

If you're still fighting, still arguing, still talking...it means you both still care. When one of you quits, you'll know it. They won't even argue anymore. Stick with it. You may just find you two are completely incompatible. But at least you know you care.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 01:56 AM
4

The lack of accountability is astounding. Good luck, my friend. And good riddance.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 03:58 AM
13

At least she admits to it. Mine moved in with him when she left. Was engaged to him before we even had a court date for the divorce, and was married to him four months after the divorce was final. And she still blames it on me, and won't admit to adultery. She is even going so far as to say that I got her kicked out of our church because she did nothing wrong in her eyes. Count your blessings and use that info she gave for your own closure. Don't dwell on it. Move on and be happy, my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 03:32 AM
8

This might be true. And for your sake, I really hope it is. But the stats don't lie. Women tend to leave for another man. Plain and simple. Do your due diligence. Check the phone records, talk to her friends, hire a PI, etc. Chances are very likely she's monkey branching to another man's arms.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/24 03:14 AM
1

Leave. You're not doing anyone any favors by staying. Your kids will think you're not getting divorced, and your STBX might as well, if you're the one divorcing her. Best to get it over with and leave. The inconvenience will only be temporary, but worth it in the long run.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/23 07:31 PM
2

My ex left me for her AP and soon got married after our divorce, so there's been little desire to speak at all. We email about kid stuff, but other than that contact between us is minimal. We effectively don't co-parent. Her time with the kids is hers, and my time with the kids is mine. Granted they're teens, so it's a little easier, but it works best that way given the circumstances.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 04:18 AM
2

That's a good point. I think women do stay quiet afterwards, for the most part. Sadly it's the before and during that most men here can relate to. Once women turn our lives upside down with leaving/infidelity/what have you and rake us through the coals in the courts leaving us without our children and penniless due to child support and alimony, you might understand why some men here need to vent. Tides are turning, though. Courts are favoring men equally now! (Who'd of thought?!) So I think once…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 01:46 AM
2

Are you saying the women are going their way silently?
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 09:28 PM
15

The opposite is also true. I had a wife that constantly said I was the best thing that ever happened to her. But sadly, there's no appeasing crazy. Once they decide you're what's wrong (no matter what they've done) it's super easy for them to pin all the marital problems on you and walk away. Stay single, friends!
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 09:20 PM
3

Divorce tends to bring out the worst in people. Definitely worth putting your own attorney on retainer, if only for CYA.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 05:21 PM
4

Relish in the fact that you got some sense of closure. Most of us get gray walled by the women as soon as they decide it's over and never get that opportunity. Kudos, my friend!
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 05:01 PM
2

Oh no! She's going to miss out on her kids' lives when she's not there? Tell me she didn't think this though! Tell her to eat a big ol' satchel full of Richards!
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 02:05 PM
9

I just got shivers...
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 09:28 PM
21

And go back to not having sex again? Why???
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 09:27 PM
3

Run.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 09:28 PM
12

1000% this... Total lack of communication skills. Zero personal accountability. Monkey branching once they feel empowered enough to leave because they think the grass is greener on the other side. I just wish women's hormone fueled emotions cycled faster so they wouldn't waste decades of our time. Life is too short.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 12:42 PM
3

Don't rush it. But don't wallow in the pain, either. Work on yourself. Go to the gym. Talk to a therapist. Rekindle old friendships. You got this!
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 11:11 AM
4

Remember: this too shall pass!
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 04:19 AM
11

Go ugly early next time around. They all look the same with the lights off!
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/23 11:39 PM
2

Easiest to wait, if you can. Otherwise you'll need to have her sign a quit claim to the new house.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 01:55 AM
2

This too shall pass. Don't talk to her. Delete her from your contacts and social media. Therapy. Gym. Rebound sex. And keep reminding yourself: this too shall pass!
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/23 03:40 AM
1

Join the Army. Free gyms on every base!
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 01:01 AM
2

My ex married the coworker that she had an emotional affair with. Good luck, buddy. Sounds like she has already checked out. For your sake, I hope she isn't too far gone and agrees to therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:32 PM
5

Boom. Here it is. Apparently MGTOW is a no no word ( or acronym in this case). "Look up MGTOW. Move on and be happy. Plenty of fish out there. Women are proving marriage is as disposable as a paper plate. Let's prove them right! Get yourself right (therapy, self help, lots of hookers and blow), and learn to set yourself some boundaries so the next one doesn't pull this on you." Seems pretty lightheaded to me.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 02:51 AM
5

It was my comment on that same thread that got me banned.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 02:57 PM
3

We live in a disposable society, and sadly marriage is just as disposable as a paper plate.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 10:44 AM
1

Never answered your original question. From what most therapists say, it's prudent to wait six months to a year before introducing kids to new partners. The longer the better.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 08:05 PM
3

Unfortunately there's not much you can do about it except voice your concerns. Definitely keep an open communication about it with your kids, but women are going to do whatever they want in the name of love, or lack thereof. Case in point: my ex and I share 50/50 custody. During mediation I tried putting in a morality clause in there stating we would not introduce significant others, starting six months from the date of the divorce. She already had a man she was leaving me for, and she immediate…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 08:03 PM
4

🤣🤣🤣
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 02:26 PM
1

I only ask because in my home state of NJ it is a no fault state, but if the lower earning spouse commits adultery, then they forfeit alimony. That's literally the only time adultery matters here.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 08:21 PM
2

How did you end up paying alimony if she had an affair?
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 11:27 AM
0

Grayrocked?
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 08:44 PM
42

Have sex with all of them. Every single one. And when you charm their panties off and they want to sucker you into a LTR relationship, tell them you're still getting over what your ex did to you and that you're not emotionally available. Rinse, and repeat. Fuck them all literally and figuratively. They deserve nothing more. Stay salty, my friends!
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 06:22 PM
2

Own those feelings. Work through them with a professional, hopefully. Therapy did wonders for me! And above all, remember that THIS TOO SHALL PASS!
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 12:12 AM
27

Women are a bunch of fucking savages.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 02:21 AM
2

Yesterday. If not then, in the next DM. Honesty is the best policy. She's not going anywhere if she's into you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 12:48 AM
8

Two to three weeks? You lucky dog! Try six to eight months! The funny part? The week she told me it was over we did it four times. The pathetic part? I've had more sex the last eight months since I have started dating than I did the last twelve years of marriage. I am going to have a really hard time justifying EVER getting married again after spending eighteen years of my life with a woman who left me for another man whom my kids say they hear her having sex with all the time. It got so bad wit…
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 12:27 AM
27

Stand your ground. Be kind, but be firm in establishing the boundaries YOU need for YOUR mental health. No need to make a scene in front of the kids or be mean about anything, but STAND YOUR GROUND!
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 01:51 AM
4

There's no hard time limit. But you owe it to yourself and whomever you are seei t just how emotionally available you are. No sense starting off with a lie or wasting each other's time.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 12:02 AM
2

Run.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/23 03:33 AM
3

Leave. Do it now. This is not going to get better. Join the Army or the Peace Corps. Ok, maybe not that drastic, but I do feel you deserve to start over without that flaunted in your face.
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 03:20 PM
3

Oh, by all means stand up for yourself! She is nothing to you now. Not your wife. Not your friend. NOTHING! All I am saying is take the higher road. Don't sink to her level. And save all the emails she's cursing you out. LOL
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 01:11 AM
4

My pastor told me something that helped me immensely: no one is going to remember why you got divorced (or that you even were married), they are just going to remember how you acted during the process. Keep your composure, don't bad mouth her in public, keep the kids out of it (if applicable), and stick to the therapy. Let her be the bad guy, and kill her with kindness in any interaction s. Trust me, this will piss her off more than she will ever let on. Last, but not least, cut ties with her an…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 05:28 PM
4

Yeah man. Learn to establish boundaries. No means no!!!
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 04:58 AM
2

If they come back, it's because the stake missed the heart the first time. May want to center up a bit more, and just to the left of center the second time around. Hope this helps!
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 06:55 PM
3

Bro. Get yourself in therapy. This is a crisis, and a good therapist will do wonders in helping you navigate this betrayal and heart break in a hralthy manner to help you heal quickly. This too shall pass!
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 05:42 PM
4

Everyone is the victim in their own story...
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 04:01 AM
2

And therapy! Works wonders, my friend. "Do you" and get yourself in a good headspace. Don't let her live rent free in your head anymore. Become the father your kids deserve, not someone wallowing in misery. Get yourself right, then work on getting laid. It's a wonderful world out there, my friend! She just made you forget that. Work on reminding yourself, because this too shall pass. Seven months from now you won't even think about her anymore if you out in the work now.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 12:13 PM
1

Totally normal (albeit shitty) modern female behavior. It sets themselves up for external validation of what they perceive is your faulty behavior. Eventually this becomes a habit of trash talking you, and you'll get the "you should have seen this coming" speech when she leaves you for a man she trash talked you to that swoops in to "rescue her." Don't blame him though...he is a scumbag for fucking with a married woman, but she is the one not handling your marital issues in house by constantly s…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 11:16 AM
12

Check the phone records for a number that sticks out. Same thing happened to me, I never thought she would be unfaithful. But when she said she didn't love me anymore and that she wanted a divorce, none of her story added up. Checked the phone records, lo and behold over 4000 texts and calls to one of her coworkers... But heed the advice of others, especially if in a no fault state. It doesn't matter. It kind of gave me a little closure in the sense that now I would never take her back, but only…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/22 09:33 PM
2

I couldn't agree more. I like the OP's comment of "due diligence" as well. I am fully aware that the end result is probably the same, but I will sleep easy knowing at least I tried. And that clean conscience is priceless.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 10:34 PM
13

Divorce might be the best option, but do the leg work first. Couples counseling, sex therapist, maybe some therapy for yourself. You might as well give her that courtesy if you have stuck around this long. Who knows, you might fall in love with her all over again. Especially if she realizes you're not happy. At least you would hope so. My wife basically ghosted me after 15 years, and I know it would have meant the world to me if we at least tried. Not judging, just playing devil's advocate.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/22 12:46 AM
5

My family, friends, and church have been a bedrock for me going through this divorce. I can't imagine not leaning on them for support and trying to do this on my own. Therapy has been huge too!
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/22 11:21 PM
4

I am in the same boat, though much earlier in the process. She left just three months ago. The grief comes and goes. It always comes when I have the realization "I can't believe she actually left me." From there the reactions vary. Sometimes I laugh about it. Often times I cry. Lately I can just shrug it off. I am sure once I am out of the marital home it will be easier to move on. But for now I am stuck living with the ghosts of what I thought was our happy past. Luckily I was able to find out …
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/22 02:22 PM
3

All good. Getting over it more and more everyday.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 07:28 PM
5

Yeah, that's what mine did. Started talking to a male co-worker who has her convinced she isn't happy with me, then proceeded to tell me she was miserable the whole 15 years she was married to me. She moved in with her emotional tampon before we even got separated. Going to have to remember that - monkey branching. I love it!
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 06:57 PM
3

Monkey branch?
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 06:32 PM
8

Keep at it. Remember: she decided to leave you long before she told you. In a couple of months you will catch up to where she is emotionally and you will not want to talk to her either. Just keep your chin up! And look into therapy for yourself. I did, and it worked wonders talking to a neutral third party to help me work through my emotions and grief. Remember my friend, this too shall pass!
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 07:42 PM
2

AP? Not familiar with the acronym...
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 11:15 AM
1

Get a lawyer. Get a lawyer. GET A LAWYER! Look on militaryonesource.com. They may be able to point you in the right direction. If she cheated and you can prove it, you shouldn't have to pay any alimony. Worth the money on the lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 10:38 PM
4

Wow...I needed to hear this. So happy for you, and hope to be in that state of happiness in due time myself. Going through the dark part of the divorce tunnel, but glad to hear there is light at the end!
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 02:44 PM
1

She will get half your pension. Try to reconcile, if possible.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/22 01:56 AM
1

This. Some states are so backed up in litigation that they provide the first hour or two of court appointed mediation free. So the more you agree on going in, the better. No need to get your own attorney unless you need to fight for custody or assets. Check your state or county family court website for details.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/22 07:15 PM
1

She left hers on my night stand after she texted me that it was over. I thought it was a bad dream and left it on for a good month. Finally came to my senses and took it off. Felt weird at first, but getting used to it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/22 11:29 PM
1

What do the acronyms OP and GAL mean?
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 12:44 AM
1

Stay the course, my friend. And look into getting some therapy. It has helped me a lot, and will help you work on yourself for whatever life brings next.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 12:41 AM
2

You can put in a clause to not introduce new parters for 6 months to a year, depending on how old the kids are. I am doing this after finding out my wife was lying about having someone on the side.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 07:17 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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