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MrsKML Archive

View 0 posts and 860 comments by MrsKML on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I lost nothing. It’s obvious it’s predatory. You’re one or more of the following: just trolling. Don’t value women as people
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 07:45 PM
1

Or I work in a field that involves research studies? Nope. Married, a mom, work in a career I love, have friends, have family, volunteer. But yes, the internet is on my phone and it’s handy. So your male friends cheat. Got it. Thanks for negating your own argument. Also, it’s ok to cheat if the woman is fat? Well what about the cheating women you sleep with? What are their reasons? Are their husbands fat? Making them miserable? Lazy deadbeats? Funny how you thought none of that context was neede…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 07:43 PM
1

Not reading
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 07:35 PM
3

Do you also sleep with men? If not, how can you know if there are more men who are married who are cheating? Your sample size only includes one gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 07:34 PM
1

It’s not condescending at all. I literally said he has whatever access whenever he wants. I also said a fwb wouldn’t get the same access if he was a husband who didn’t pull his weight in a relationship based on his looks alone. Relationships take equal effort and I wouldn’t want to have sex with a crazy attractive man who didn’t put his effort in. It’s not a reward no more than it is for me for being a good mom/wife. It’s an action between two people who love each other and show up every day for…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 07:32 PM
1

WE demand agency without responsibility? My good sir, I will point you to all the men on this sub whining they should be able to financially abort children they father to be supported solely by the women and tax payer dollars because they didn’t want to wear a condom or take responsibility for their agency. Thats rich that women don’t take responsibility. What? It’s not women’s fault…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 07:29 PM
1

You read again. You wrote men have not had the upper hand in relationships until recently.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 07:28 PM
1

It’s not bang on at all. It’s not even close to what I said.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 07:26 PM
1

Ew what the actual fuck. No that is not at all what I meant. And not at all what I said. That’s a sick twist. I mean I desire him and he has access to me whenever he wants. I literally said I have the higher sex drive. But yes, in general it goes both ways. Both people have to be happy in the relationship. You should work on both ends to make the other happy because you LOVE them not for sex acts. Nothing I said reflects a dog or child.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 07:25 PM
1

Or woman they’ve settled for then, yes?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 07:08 PM
1

Men have not had the upper hand in relationships until recently? Could you explain? Pretty sure this is why feminism became a thing. Because men always had the upper hand.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 07:06 PM
1

Dude I’m not reading any of this. You haven’t made one good point in any of your other comment nor have any of your other male counterparts arguing here. It’s common sense how men going to other countries in the hopes of getting a poor and uneducated woman with limited options in life as a wife IS predatory. Anyone who doesn’t think that is being willfully ignorant and practicing cognitive dissonance. They don’t believe women are people. Women are just there to be controlled by men and to ensure…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 06:50 PM
3

I don’t fully agree. Yes, I had some experiences that were negative that lead me to realign some things. However, even looking at everyone around me and the changing conversations I’ve had with girlfriends over the years - what we need in a partner can change from when we are young to when we are adults. It’s like when I was a kid - I genuinely liked to play Barbie’s. Now as an adult, I don’t. I really did like Barbie’s then, and Barbie’s didn’t do anything negative, I just needed other entertai…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 05:32 PM
-2

Ah. Then I misunderstood. I read it as men who can’t stay faithful honorably choose to not be in ltrs/marriages.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 05:02 PM
-3

It still doesn’t change that the comment I’m responding says that unfaithful men don’t reach ltrs. If men cheat, that suggests they are in relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 04:52 PM
2

Google it
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 04:50 PM
2

Does age factor here at all? Because the boy I wanted at 16 was not the man I was attracted to at 25. I can maybe understand if criteria changed in the last month - but people change over the course of their lifetime. It doesnt make my passion and attraction to my husband (who I met at 25) less than the boy I wanted at 16.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 04:48 PM
-2

Men cheat more than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 04:07 PM
1

Yes, context is always important for data. But men cheating more than women is well established. You can even just google and see the AI read out. Plenty of articles show that men cheat more. I’m not saying women are innocent and it seems the US is a hotbed of cheating compared to elsewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 03:20 PM
1

The infidelity stats that say more men cheat? Sounds like you guys settle more than we do then! Actually we are more alike than you think. Those things that you mentioned about what men bring to the table in relationships - are a huge part of what attracts women as well. You can be a 10 but if you aren’t a stable adult who can be a great husband/partner - I’m not attracted. You’re just nice to look at but I don’t want a relationship with you. And no that doesn’t mean I’m settling or using you an…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 03:11 PM
1

Evolved men don’t feel that way - sorry I misspoke. You do feel that way - otherwise you wouldn’t call women “sluts for the night”. I don’t like promiscuous men. I wanted someone compatible with me. I believe sex (even when casual) is best had with those you respect and care for. My husband holds similar views. My husband didn’t settle on me, thanks. If that is true then it is rooted in society’s slut shaming of women. It’s 2025 let’s move past that. Women have sexuality. Men dont own our sexual…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 03:06 PM
1

Most people marry their looksmatch. Just because there are more attractive people in the world doesn’t mean we aren’t attracted to those we marry. I love and am attracted to my husband but he’s not Henry Cavill. Just like he loves and is attracted to me even though I’m not Megan Fox. I’ve been attracted to many average men in my lifetime. It is hard to find a person you want to spend your life with, but most people still do not settle with individuals they don’t find attractive. You’re acting li…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 02:23 PM
1

No, I get that. When you average the men who cheated against the women - more men cheated across age groups.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 02:01 PM
1

Personally, I didn’t. The only casual I had were two friends I knew for over two years and had actual relationships (friendships) with. But women like sex and we are free to enjoy our sexuality. So that’s why. Same reason men fuck around.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 02:00 PM
1

Based on what? Lol. I didn’t put out for my husband on date 1-2 and I assure you I love him dearly and am attracted to him. Only women comfortable with casual and potentially being dumped after intimacy are open to having sex that fast. Personally, I made my husband wait a month and that’s the least amount of time I ever knew a man before sleeping with him. It’s nuts to me people have downvoted my first comment about body count. The men on this site are really delusional enough to believe that w…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 01:56 PM
0

No, I read it. The point you’re pointing to is only 1% different (not statistically different and equal). The rest of it says men in all other age groups cheat more. Over the lifetime - more men cheat.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 01:53 PM
2

I had experiences while young too. A guy I believed was my friend and wound up involved with, was abusive. We all (most) make relationships mistakes while young. Second paragraph sounds like you made a solid call. I don’t feel it’s a bad thing to be a nice guy though - although I know you guys feel like you get a bad wrap. None of my friends wanted to settle down with anyone who wasn’t a good person. I don’t know that it’s true that women who have experience won’t choose you for you - but if you…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 01:51 PM
1

Nothing I said is disgusting. 🙄 I’m just pointing out how this guy is purposely manipulating responses to make his point. As are you!
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 01:33 PM
1

You clearly don’t value relationships with women if you feel all we bring is our bodies. If you can get all of that from a friend/dog - knock yourself out. Take yourself out of the dating pool. Your issues with dating are not the fault of women. You see it as an inconvenience we are even people with agency. We should just be available with our bodies (the only thing we bring according to you) whenever you wish. Consider those new AI sex dolls.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 01:31 PM
1

I watched the show sexlife. Her husband is HOT. Way hotter than guy she cheats with. And it’s a fucking tv show dude. The point was they weren’t compatible. Then pick a woman who is loyal and won’t cheat. I have never thought about or even been tempted to cheat on my husband. I know what I want.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 01:29 PM
1

Dude - you’re just following me around this site huh? Nope. Not at all enough of a sell. Clearly you didn’t understand my thesis which is that women like sex. Imagine having to kiss, hug, show up in public, have sex with (at least to make kids), with someone you aren’t attracted to. Why? Just find a partner you do want sex with.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 01:27 PM
1

You literally just copied what I wrote. Huh?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 01:25 PM
1

I was never with some other guy for just a night - but even for women who have had - men don’t all feel that way. Most people have histories nowadays and find love anyway. Yes, so do women. Both men and women contribute to relationships in the ways you stated. You obviously have a moral issue (or a resentment issue if you’re unhappy with your dating life) with casual sex - or at least with WOMEN enjoying their sexuality. Uh huh. But you, as a man, get to be a slut for a night, yes? Tracks. My hu…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 01:24 PM
1

K this is just awful rhetoric and a double standard. Men get casual histories, does that diminish his love?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 01:18 PM
1

Or you can look at it as she never did any of the loving things she does for you, for Chad. The love doesn’t mean less. You are also getting the relationship benefits in a relationship - not only providing them. If you don’t value love, relationships with women, and see romance/relationships as a chore to just get access to sex - then you do you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 06:23 PM
1

I mean that was my whole thesis: most women don’t settle. We came for circle. That’s all.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 04:53 PM
2

Bye 👋
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:58 PM
1

Nope. Makes no sense. I’m not dedicating my life to a man I’m not attracted to. Nor am I doing that for a man who doesn’t provide other relationship benefits that I also provide.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:57 PM
1

🙄 I give up. I wish you luck in your misery.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:51 PM
1

No, I personally didnt want a man with a high body count. He wouldn’t have valued sex in the same way. I’m just saying it not hung up on whether I was the best blow job my husband ever had when he first met me or if it took some time to get there because I had to learn his preferences. I’m not getting hung up on his past experiences. You got told to fuck off because you accused me of misrepresenting myself and inserted yourself into a conversation I was having with another person. You decided yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:50 PM
2

Thank you for saying that. I do agree with your last part. The partner you’re spending your life with should get more effort from you than partners in the past (though not things you’re uncomfortable giving). I just think women get coerced into acts at times that they weren’t really comfortable with to make men happy. It doesn’t mean we don’t want our present partners happy - we just learned trying to make our partners happy at our expense was detrimental to us. I do agree that if a woman enthus…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:46 PM
1

I’m not “telling you what to do”. I’m telling you to switch your mindset or you will keep shooting your self in the foot (aka being miserable). I’m really struggling to reframe this “best” thing for you because we clearly don’t view sex the same way. Maybe it’s different experience - but the best for me is the whole package. You can’t be the best if you don’t fulfill me in other ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:37 PM
1

Honestly? No. Maybe if I was very poor - but generally I just try to be happy with what I have. Comparison is the thief of joy. In all seriousness, a lot of your comments towards me make me angry and I think you’re being unfair. At the same time, I don’t know how it is to be in your shoes and feel like intimacy is out of reach. I do think you shoot yourself in the foot by not valuing relationships as a whole and seeing relationships as less than. That’s a sure fire way to always be miserable and…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:28 PM
1

No, I’m not settling. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t have similar fun with other men. Also some men were into things my husband isn’t, and that was fun. My husband also had some sexual experiences with other women that were fun that I have no interest in. We have different relationships with different people. My husband has a lower sex drive than I do - other men matched me more in frequency. But that didn’t make them better partners for me or our sex lives better overall. Stop getting hung up o…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:20 PM
1

What you don’t understand is the best sex is often the sex you have with the person who knows you and your body best. I’m more uninhibited with my husband and comfortable than with past partners because I’m confident in our relationship. That doesn’t mean I never had fun with past partners. My husband has nothing to live up to - he’s way better than all my past partners in all departments. He’s the only one I want at this juncture and he is not someone I settled on.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:14 PM
1

Im not patting myself on the back. Yes, in general you seem bitter women get sex easier than men. Tell your gender to stop being so easy. I said me specifically cause your comments have been aimed at me.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:11 PM
1

Once again, women are not settling for men who we don’t want to have sex with and who don’t pleasure us in bed. No, I don’t think most men would agree with you. I don’t mean to sound mean, but this sounds like immature ramblings from insecure and inexperienced men. In most couples, both the men and the women come to the table having had sex previously, and have enjoyed that sex previously. It doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy our sex lives together and that we don’t fulfill each other more than past p…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:09 PM
1

K at 25 (the age when I met my husband and was online dating) I was even more peak than at <22. I was an ugly duckling. But keep acting like you know my life. You just sound bitter that I’ve had opportunities for sex and want to judge how I’ve chosen to embrace/chose not to engage in my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:05 PM
2

Back to..I feel sorry for you. If that’s what you want out of life - you do you. I wouldn’t want a man who doesn’t value romance and spending time with me. If you see all that investment as just effort you put in for sex, we aren’t on the same page. When I put all that into a man, it’s not because I love him and want to show him.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:02 PM
1

Most aren’t. Some women are virgins. According to google AI in the US women average 4.3 partners while men 6.3. It’s not ideal for any partner of any gender to reminisce about past partners. But are you going to spend your life being insecure about it? What if we take sex out of it. If I think back fondly on prom or a fun date I had with a past partner on a sunny summer afternoon - is that unacceptable? We are allowed to have memories, this doesn’t take away from our present partner. Women don’t…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 02:53 PM
2

First, you act like it’s one sided. The better men also get similar from me. Commitment, love, emotional effort, sex, my being there for him, etc. If you pick women with baggage and drama - choose better. Like seriously tell me you don’t value relationships with women, just our bodies, without telling me that. That’s your post. I don’t want to spend long term with a man who sees romancing me and putting effort into me as some chore he just has to do for sex. You only see the ons guy as better be…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 02:36 PM
1

Husband material are men who are husband material. If they married him, he was husband material. We aren’t marrying fuckboys.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 02:26 PM
1

He’s talking about a specific Chad I mentioned. WTF with this. Again, it wasn’t a situation where I met the guy and just had sex with him. I knew this man and he’d put a lot of emotional energy into our relationship. He could’ve not been a Chad and just been as attractive as the other partners I’ve had and I still would’ve slept with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 02:17 PM
2

Your example assumes that you’re some guy who’s been hanging around a girl while she fucks half the town prior to picking you. If that’s the case, that’s not your girl bud. Most people meet and date. According to google AI in the US women have had an average of 4.3 sex partners while men have had 6.3. So most men have had more partners than most women. When I met my husband, he and I had a similar number of partners and we were both looking for someone sexually compatible (I.e. neither of us had…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 02:11 PM
3

I’m not bullshitting. I’m being incredibly honest. I had two fwb. One was abusive and used me. He was not very attractive, he was also a high school dropout with no job and a video game addiction. No Chad nor redeemable qualities. But he was a friend I knew for years before having sex with him. He was there for me when I prior boyfriend cheated and when our mutual friend died. This was not a scenario like you describe where I threw my morals out the window for the chance to fuck this hot guy. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 01:49 PM
3

It’s really not. Again - I didn’t have casual. For long term, we do need to feel safe and appreciated. I don’t care how hot you are, I need more for a relationship. It goes the other way too. Ever heard the phrase “show me the hottest woman in the world and I’ll show you a man tired of fucking her”? Because people need more from partners than looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 01:42 PM
–

Well said.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 01:40 PM
–

Glad to see some men don’t! Happy to have you here.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 01:40 PM
1

Sort of? But keep in mind not all relationships are healthy. Without sharing anything too personal - I can think of two times I was forced into something I didn’t want with an ex. I was upset and hurt by the experience. I didn’t consent either time and asked him to stop repeatedly (he didn’t). However, I also nonverbally consented by not fighting him off physically or screaming - so I guess it wasn’t rape. I didn’t because he was emotionally abusive (and sometimes physically though I never got s…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 01:36 PM
1

No, your not valuing the sacrifices. So if you’re an engineer and I’m a teacher and we get married. We decide I’m going to stay home. Now in the US, teachers get raises based on seniority. We also get a pension (money our employer pays into retirement). So if I start year 1 at 50k, at year 15 I could make 90k and pension contributions go up accordingly. If I take off years to raise our children, when I go back to teaching - I’ve lost out on those years where I could be making a higher salary. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 01:22 PM
-3

Alright then, good plan. But for the record, many women don’t put out early and still love their partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 06:17 AM
–

🦄
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 06:14 AM
–

💯 Men like OP act like women kind is losing something when they self filter out of the dating pool 👋
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 06:12 AM
–

In general, women and men who have a healthy view of gender relations and romantic relationships would say that a partner provides: love, emotional support, common goals, physical intimacy, entertainment (fun to be with), is a provider (whether that be financial or homemaker parent variety), etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 06:09 AM
1

And ideally men want sex with Victoria Secret models who ALSO want to marry him while allowing him to have an open relationship to fuck all her super model friends harem style. Who the fuck cares? No, we don’t do that shit. We meet a man we are attracted to and fall in love. I wasn’t marrying a man I didn’t love. I wasn’t marrying a man I didn’t believe would be a good husband/father. I wasn’t marrying a man I didn’t wanna fuck and blow. Just because we have other options, doesn’t mean we’d take…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 06:05 AM
–

Sex - I’m guessing is what most men on here would say. Luckily I have a husband who values me for more than sex and I value him for more than he provides but I guess we’re fucking unicorns if this post is to be believed.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 05:50 AM
–

💯
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 05:49 AM
0

I mean…isn’t the national average (US) for women like 4? Edit: just googled and AI says 4.3 for women and 6.3 for men. Ha - kinda goes against the argument that women have so many more sex partners than the average man if true.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 05:29 AM
-1

Nah my husband would’ve judged me for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 05:26 AM
-4

If that’s your plan, be prepared to have to accept a partner with a high body count. Which is perfectly fine, just know those are the only women sleeping with you in two dates 🤷‍♀️.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 05:23 AM
-6

I definitely disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 05:22 AM
0

I see where you’re going with this analogy but think you’re missing one point. The analogy you are making is that a sexier woman is spoiled more than the “cute” girlfriend. In your scenario, the girlfriend is always just “cute” and therefore worth less in her bfs eyes than previous women - as evidenced by his spending less money. Whereas, when I’ve fallen for men that I didn’t have instant attraction for (like walked in the door and my knees melted kinda shit) - once I did fall, I was as sexuall…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 05:19 AM
-3

Making too much sense for this subreddit. 100% agree, no notes.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 05:12 AM
1

I’m not un-calm. I’m never gonna get you off this casual sex focus. That’s clear. I guess if your definition of “sexually compatible” is “wants casual”, then ok. But most women want sex within the confines of a relationship with a man who loves and respects them. So you’re limiting your options. No, but that’s cause it’s easy to get recreational sex as a woman. I don’t deny that. If it were flipped, I would get some but not much casual (assuming I wanted such). That doesn’t change my point about…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 05:05 AM
0

Ask the guy I’m responding to. My girlfriends talk about sex. It’s a common topic. I’m not claiming to know like coworkers’ sex lives or random people. But my group of girlfriends chats and my husband does with his guy friends and then tells me. We are all late 30s early 40s but all still having sex with spouses/long term partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 04:56 AM
1

By not focusing on “casual sex”. And guys who are 8/9/10 and are not usually sleeping with a 3 but anyhoo. Focus on finding someone sexually compatible with you. And if you really are that insecure, then maybe you need someone with a low body count to be happy. But there are men who rack up high body counts (or even just average body counts) and want virgins. Because they just despise women having sexuality (or insert some biological argument). In those cases, there’s a double standard and women…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 04:32 AM
1

No, it’s not logical. I wouldn’t have married or shared my life with either fwb I had unless they were entirely different people. My husband I do so much more for in every aspect. If all you want in life is to have lots of casual sex. I feel sorry for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 04:19 AM
4

Not this woman. I kept my body count fairly low (or my opinion of low) to avoid not being “wife material” because I knew most men cared about body count for relationships. Men who wanted me for a relationship were always interested in not only number but the type of relationship. I also just value only being with men I trust/care for. I looked for a man with similar values. My husband also didn’t do one night stands and had only had sexual contact within relationships/with friends. My personal v…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 04:13 AM
1

Nope, I’ve read the comments in this thread and that is not what they are saying. I also read your post and you’ve highlighted certain things that support your view. Nope. Still don’t. We should be allowed the same sexual freedom as men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 04:06 AM
-3

I feel sorry for you
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 04:04 AM
1

Free use is hot 🥵. My husband and I have a good sex life but my libido is higher.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 04:00 AM
1

Your whole argument is just predicated on not valuing the stay at home parent’s contributions and sacrifices.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:59 AM
1

Omg if I have to specify - when I’m sick, when we are in a location not conducive to sex, when offspring get in the way, etc. But yes, also within reason in frequency - I’m not gonna give him 4 bjs a day. There gets a point where it’s just abusive and demanding (not in my marriage). But considering my husband’s baseline frequency desire - yeah he can pretty much get it whenever he wants.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:56 AM
1

It is the better deal for men. I gave all the reasons in the other post you responded to, so I know you saw it. You can spend your life unhappy you’re not a Chad. Or be happy you have a woman who loves and cares for you. You choose to feel less than. Women aren’t picking men they don’t think they’d be happy with. Dead bedrooms are complicated and not common - marriage is complicated. Dead bedrooms can also be the man’s choice particularly when depression or ED is a problem. Or the woman’s body c…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:48 AM
1

Hmm ok. I’ve just seen ppl on Reddit talking fairly evenly. But maybe I just spend too much time on mom subreddits. The only couple I know irl that have a dead bedroom - it’s cause of the man’s disability. So it’s neither’s “fault”. I’m sure sex was more evenly impacted prior to viagra and similar treatments for age related ED.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:41 AM
-2

That makes no sense. Women are shamed for sex and men judge us for our body counts and deem us not “wife material” if our number gets too high. Thats a big risk. Not to mention sex is more risky for women. Therefore if I’m gonna have a ons with a guy (I assume cause again I’ve never had a ons) he would have to be crazy hot to offset those risks. His personality and other factors would matter less. That’s not what I want for a relationship though. I want a man I’m attracted too who also has every…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:31 AM
-1

Nope. I would not. Not unless he brought everything to the table my husband does. And my husband can have sex or a bj whenever he wants within reason. I have the higher sex drive in our relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:26 AM
-4

What? If you’re enough for a relationship, you are a higher standard than a ons. One night stands aren’t men we are spending our lives with. This makes no sense. To make a one night stand worth it, you’d have to be insanely hot cause you have nothing else going for you. But you do you, if you think being in a relationship is an insult, knock yourself out. My husband gets so much more from me than any hypothetical ons would have.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:23 AM
-1

https://discreetinvestigations.ca/infidelity-statistics-who-cheats-more-men-or-women/#:~:text=According%20to%20the%20General%20Social,their%20partner%20while%20still%20married. Overall, men cheat more. I’m not opposed to paternity tests if the men want them. My kid is my husband’s and I have nothing to hide. All I know about France is what is shown in media. Which is that marital affairs are common. I don’t live in France.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:14 AM
1

Do you have stats on this? I hang out in mom subreddits and see plenty of posts by women that their husbands no longer want sex with them - particularly if they have extra weight or stretch marks after kids. Dead bedrooms aren’t common in marriages overall and it’s not solely on the woman’s side. Physical disabilities and illnesses also impact dead bedroom statistics. Perimenopause and menopause also impact women and treatment during these periods (hormone replacement) is often needed. We can’t …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:09 AM
0

How are we shallow? Your whole argument is that women marry men we love for other reasons than looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 03:03 AM
5

Yes, more women initiate divorce. Did you know more men cheat? Funny I wonder if there’s a correlation there somewhere…but yes, neither gender are angels.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 02:54 AM
12

I think you’re misinterpreting this data. If I were to only want a man for a one night stand (keep in mind I have no real life experience here) - he would have to be very physically attractive. Because no other factors matter in that situation. For it to be worth it to me, he’d have to be gorgeous. Otherwise why bother since women are shamed for sex and body counts. I’m not even going to be looking for anything else besides looks in this scenario. But when you’re looking for a partner - you want…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 02:39 AM
1

Exactly. The boy I wanted at 16 was not the man I needed at 25 (the age at which I met my husband and stopped dating). That doesn’t mean I settled, I just grew as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 02:09 AM
3

Lasting 30 seconds is a bigger problem than dick size imo. But that’s just me.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 02:06 AM
2

Right?!?!? Especially cause it’s not like these “husband material” guys have gold to dig in most cases. Like what do these guys believe these “husband material” men are offering us that would make a sexless marriage palatable?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 01:59 AM
1

I’m over 35 but not by much. Women are all different. I didn’t do one night stands or hookups. I did have two fwbs with men I knew well. One was hot, one was not. I wouldn’t have been in either fwb relationship though if I had a boyfriend at the time who treated me well. I always wanted relationships and felt more complete in them. But finding someone you click with and are attracted to can be tough. I already told you I didn’t have sex for 2.5 years before meeting my husband. It took that long …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 01:55 AM
6

“Surely you admire the casual sex guy…he’s the real winner”. 🤦‍♀️ No hun. Just no. The winner is the man I come home to everyday, the winner is the man I make homemade soup for when he’s sick, the winner is the man who’s child I had, the winner is the man who’s last name I took, the winner is the man I show off to the world, the winner is the man who I am intimate with whenever I can be, the winner is the man who makes me laugh every day - casual sex and physical looks are things you’re putting …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 01:49 AM
9

Long term relationships and marriage aren’t options that are “less than” casual sex relationships. The best and most fulfilling relationships for most people are with those we truly know and care for. Many men/women don’t choose casual sex because they are only interested in sex with people they care about.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 01:17 AM
7

Men get a casual sex phase without it being immaturely labeled. It’s 2025 - let’s accept that women enjoy sex and should be allowed to explore that. Idk - most of the guys I’ve slept with were on par or below my husband. But I didn’t really do casual. The two fwbs I had, I knew for more than two years before sex happened. So I can’t really speak to this part. Honestly though - I don’t think my friends’ ex bfs/hookups were hotter than their husbands. I can’t really say I think this is true. You c…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 12:54 AM
7

Dude I’ve had this exact convo with like a bunch of people on here. You all ask the same questions. I was never wanting to be a in fwb stage - I always valued relationships just found myself in situationships. The first fwb was this guy in my friend group - he pretended to love me and be there for me (we lost a mutual friend to cancer) - he was just using all that to get in my pants. I thought I was in love, he abused me. This wasn’t a “he’s so hot I need him” thing. It was a trauma grief mess a…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 12:49 AM
9

The views you share on the reality you see, are not the same reality I see. All of my girlfriends enjoy sex with their husbands. Even if they look oofy doofy to you - the women picked them (and you just accepted my premise that women enjoy sex so what does that tell you?). You say the “pumped and dumped phase” I say, that wasn’t my experience having only been intimate with men I knew well/were dating. But regardless, women exploring their sexuality being downplayed as “pumped and dumped” is just…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 12:25 AM
5

I had past relationships before my husband. Boyfriends whom I had sex with. I had two fwb situations while young >22 (one was a bad call and one was fun). Both those men I knew more than two years before I had sex with them. Why do the details matter? My husband was no virgin coming into our relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 12:21 AM
0

Dude you know I don’t read your comments anymore, yes?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 12:19 AM
11

It is not common for women to settle with men they don’t want to have sex with. Women enjoy sex and don’t just suddenly decide to forgo it to marry a stable man who doesn’t get our motor running cause he’s a safe choice. Focus on the present relationship. Men have had past experiences too and may occasionally reminisce about a particularly fun encounter - but that doesn’t take away from the present relationship (or at least it shouldn’t). As long as both partners are fulfilled emotionally and en…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 11:40 PM
1

Just because there are methods of ending a marriage in many cultures (because there’s an understanding that even with best intentions sometimes marriages need to end) doesn’t mean that marriage isn’t intended to be a lifelong commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 09:18 PM
2

Marriage across cultures is seen as what is supposed to be a lifelong commitment. It’s recognized as one of the biggest (if not the biggest) commitment you can make with another person. I understand there are reasons marriages end - but that does not mean I want to marry someone with an outlook that marriage isn’t a lifelong commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 07:23 PM
2

Never claimed there was only one tradition in all the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 06:51 PM
0

I agree with “your wedding vows” - however, I do not agree with the “mostly women” part. Yes, women file for divorce more often, but more men cheat. Funny how that correlation goes.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 06:31 PM
2

What the guy below me said. Your wedding vows. Traditional vows.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 06:30 PM
1

Let’s do that then.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 04:32 PM
5

Where is what supposed to be?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 04:28 PM
9

Oh yes I can. I assume your problem with no fault divorce is the financial “unfairness” to men. Women are far more likely to be in a poorer financial situation than men post divorce. Despite what men like to claim on here. https://www.epwealth.com/blog/who-suffers-the-most-financially-in-a-divorce?hs_amp=true https://www.northerntrust.com/united-states/institute/articles/financial-mistakes-women-make-during-the-divorce-process Just google to find more. Even the AI read out will tell you women do…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 04:25 PM
11

I never said they did. But OPs post is about how a man who says “divorce is not an option” is a red flag. I’m saying it shows that they would not arrive at divorce easily. That’s the communication. Legally, you have the right to divorce so it’s not like his statement changes that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 04:21 PM
1

Honestly? Idk how I’m supposed to predict that. I think men who have options for sex, will require it. Whatever percentage that is, probably definitely the top 25% and maybe the top 50%. Men are willing to sex down, so they will just go low enough on their standards to find a woman willing to sign. Maybe they’d be willing to forego to have a relationship with an attractive woman but only if he was truly serious about her. As a woman, I don’t see myself ever signing something that puts sole respo…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 04:16 PM
17

I’m halfway in and halfway out with this. Of course no one (male or female) should be trapped with no way out of a bad situation. But marriage is supposed to be till death do us part. It’s a vow taken before each other, your friends, and family (and God if you’re religious) that you will love and care for one another. It gives you legal protections and legally makes you family. Marriage is absolutely a higher commitment than staying together long term. It should be treated as such. I don’t agree…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 04:10 PM
1

I think most high value men will require it to be signed and women will sign it for the opportunity to be with them, taking significantly more risk. The only men who won’t require it will be men we would less want to be with. Those men won’t put an extra hurdle in their way. Men and women will both have more limited options of sex partners. It will create more unfairness between Chads and your average Joe. All while women shoulder 100% responsibility in most cases and men shirk responsibility to…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 03:50 PM
0

I don’t know that I think they will…if they do - maybe because they really love/like the man. Want to have sex with him/be in a relationship with him and are willing to risk shouldering all the responsibility if birth control fails. Women do dumber stuff in pursuit of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 03:25 PM
1

Men have low standards (some no standards) for women they have casual sex with. For relationships, men have unreasonable standards. In terms of level of attractiveness and low body count. It’s cause of porn and social media. I had no idea who this was so I googled. You have different tastes to most. She’s cute tho.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 03:18 PM
0

Even if it happens now, men being able to abdicate financially will increase the burden on tax payers. This is not fair to society. Men will all jump up and down to sign such a waiver and there will be few options of those who haven’t. The only ones who won’t will be desperate men who can’t put a hurdle in their way to get access to sex. These men aren’t likely to be desirable. I’m a woman too. I don’t think we would benefit. Most men (all) do not responsibility for kids that they aren’t explici…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 03:14 PM
1

Do American tax payers get to sign a waiver they aren’t supporting this kid before these two people have sex? Women are already the ones who have the most burden on them. Now you want men to be able to abdicate all responsibility. Men need to be responsible for their own protection. Sometimes birth control methods fail and now it’s all on the woman? She didn’t have a choice in the matter now. This is all about men getting 0 accountability in sex when you already have such a low risk compared to …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 02:36 PM
1

wtf? Then who is a 10?! Talk about men having ridiculously high standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 02:31 PM
2

Do American tax payers get to sign a legal agreement they won’t be responsible for financially funding kids these men father after declaring that they don’t want said baby? Considering many women wind up on welfare or WIC - why should we be on the hook when we didn’t consent? This whole argument is ridiculous. Nature made it so sex makes babies. It takes two to tango. Birth control sometimes fails and the woman has to deal with the consequences of that - whether or not she wants to. Because it’s…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 01:48 PM
2

Women can’t sign away the biological fact of getting pregnant. Before you say “abortion” - this is an invasive medical procedure where you kill a baby (not signing a paper that I want to have my cake and eat it too). Abortions are becoming harder to get in the US. Plus once that paper is signed, men would be even less open to taking measures on their end to prevent. Cause it’s not gonna be their problem. I always used two forms of protection - one on my end and one on his - before marriage. This…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 01:02 PM
5

I wish I could upvote this 100 times.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 12:53 PM
1

Most of us don’t want to lie.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 12:47 PM
3

Yes, but I meant once she settles down and wants to find a husband. Said husband will be more forgiving of a high body count if she’s hot enough for him to overlook it. Average women are less likely to be granted this grace by society’s men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 12:20 AM
3

Yeah we went out like 4-5 times. I didn’t sleep with him cause I wanted a relationship and he was not relationship material/he would not have been interested in that with me. He tried to sleep with me, but he had no standards. He’d been with like 80+ women so it’s not like I was flattered by the effort. I see your instant feedback point - but I just see a lot of guys who are warped by porn/OF/social media. The average woman isn’t attractive anymore to the average man. Even if they know they can’…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 12:16 AM
3

Hmm that’s interesting. I suppose I fit your hypothesis, I’m average and I did not do hookups. I often did get offended when men suggested sex on a 1-2 date. However, I absolutely did hit second base and allow a couple to sleep over (date 3-4). It wasn’t lack of sexual confidence for me. Just knowing I wanted a relationship and didn’t want to be used. I will say that one thing you have not mentioned is that male society will be much more forgiving of hot women with high n counts. Partially becau…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 11:50 PM
2

I can’t say we are all delusional like your family friend. I went out with a Chad once when I was OLD. He had decent pictures - but they did NOT do him justice. Walked up to him at our date, and instantly texted my friends “this guys out of my league, he’s gonna find a way out”. He was so physically attractive, I got a dirty look from a woman working in the restaurant for being with him. She was clearly thinking “wtf why is he with her?”. Anyway - he didn’t leave the date. But I was well aware h…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 11:42 PM
6

So above average women put out and average women don’t? Is that your hypothesis?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 11:34 PM
1

Thanks for the breakdown on how online dating and the apps work nowadays. It is eye opening and does sound a lot more frustrating/expensive to navigate than it was. It’s pretty terrible it’s been so weaponized to make money when there were decent free options back in the day, like okcupid and plenty of fish. My husband and I actually met on okcupid over a decade ago, before that book came out. We met before tinder took off. I do think the statistics that come out of online dating that some users…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 08:39 PM
1

Nope not reading. 👋
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 04:11 PM
1

I’m not reading this.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 03:14 PM
2

True. I heard my parents fucking in their bedroom every Saturday and Sunday morning for most of my life. Just turn up the Saturday morning cartoons. They weren’t affectionate in front of me though. I have a libido.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 03:11 PM
3

Soft limits is not duty sex. It’s trying new things in the bedroom that someone is interested in but isn’t sure they’d like or is embarrassed to try. As long as the couple has good communication, there’s not an issue here. I told my husband I want more dirty talk - it’s never been his comfort zone but he’s trying for me. He likes hearing dirty talk from me but feels silly himself. It’s a soft limit for him. Hard limits are things that the answer is “no” for. Soft limits are a “maybe, sure I’ll t…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 03:09 PM
1

I know you’re a man, but all your examples suggest that it’s always the woman who can be low libido or who is uninterested in having frequent sex. Here’s an interesting article on sex drives: https://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-drive-how-do-men-women-compare That being said - communication is key for me. I have the higher libido in my relationship. If we start to fall into a pattern I’m unhappy with, I discuss it with him. I tell him how I’m feeling, ask how he’s feeling and we go from there.…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 03:03 PM
1

It was OUR choice. I’d 100% have another if he was on board. Plenty of my friend’s husbands have decided no more kids based on financials or their preferences despite my friends wanting more. Men have input with their partners. Sure we could trick them if they haven’t gotten a vasectomy and stop taking birth control but that’s really shitty. Plus men can get vasectomies or pull out or wear a condom and we don’t have much of a say in those. You must not have attended sex ed. It takes two to make …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 02:25 PM
2

I never said looks have nothing to do with attraction. I said most people date/marry someone their looks match. But personality does influence attraction. There have been very physically attractive men in my life who have been really dumb, mean, had poor morals, didn’t value what I value - and beyond the initial “hes hot” thought - I wasn’t interested in anything. No feelings, no butterflies. On the flip side, I’ve worked with men who upon first meeting them I thought “that’s sad they aren’t att…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 01:41 PM
1

That’s sad and I’m sorry to hear that. I don’t know that this is most men though. Myself and all my girlfriends and all my female coworkers all get presents for and do romantic things for our men. Look for a partner who fills your cup.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 12:06 AM
1

He’s not her parent but if he loves her and wants to give her a better life, why not? If his motive is not “wife slave” then why not educate her? He isn’t falling in love either (just like she’s not). He just loves the idea of having an attractive woman indebted. I don’t think it’s charitable. Stop saying that - you said it was a good thing these men are doing (charitable) and I’m pointing out it’s not at all fucking charitable. Yes, they 100% are looking to buy a wife. You are not equals in res…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 12:00 AM
1

I already said I always offered to pay while dating and often split. I don’t think men should overextend on dates. But I’m not going to lie and say that it isn’t a sign of interest to a woman. It just wasn’t the only one I was looking for. It was just on the list of potential ways he could show interest. If you make sure to show clear effort and interest in other ways - you can follow this successfully.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 10:33 PM
1

I just reread his post and it is exactly what I said. He specifically states that he’s going to countries for women without education and who are poorer. He doesn’t say he would give her an education either. Wtf with this “they don’t help other women” argument. Yeah, cause they can only bring ONE wife back to the US. They are still helping a WOMAN not a MAN cause they want SEX. They aren’t doing a charitable act. Helping lots of men and women in the country would be a charitable act. You literal…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 08:53 PM
1

Interesting you acknowledge that you experience lust but can control it based on your values - but also state that a woman not having sex right away just isn’t attracted enough to break their rule. So best to move on. Kind of a dichotomy there. Maybe she is also experiencing lust but isn’t willing to compromise. But I guess only men get to exercise that control without judgement. While I hope you find love if you desire it - I agree there would be less bitterness towards dating and gender wars i…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 08:33 PM
0

First, the OP is specifically talking about low education, poor foreign women as partners. That is the topic. That is the topic all of my posts have focused on. It is predatory. Ask yourself…if these men, out of the goodness of their heart, want to help these poor impoverished women out of their situations and into a better life - why aren’t they doing the same for poor uneducated foreign men? Don’t men deserve chances in life?! Don’t men deserve to have options and their situation elevated? Oh …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 08:11 PM
1

I am a westerner. In modern times, men paying for dates is outdated. It’s a holdover from times when men paid for dates because women didn’t work. Or if they did work, they didn’t make the kind of money men make. The traditional family setup was that the man provided and the woman was supported as a stay at home parent - so dating reflected this. The man would ask the woman out and pay. I dont think it was ever that women had the outlook of “oh I’m so special you can pay to be in my presence” - …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 08:01 PM
3

You’re making a lot of assumptions about women when, I’m assuming, you’re not one. I don’t fully agree with all of them. Equal effort, yes. But women are also insecure at times and are looking for cues men are interested. Especially if she isn’t looking for casual, we want to know you are interested beyond what is in between our legs. Doing things like showing interest (including money spent) and going out on multiple dates suggests to us you aren’t just using us for sex. Interesting you bring u…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:12 PM
1

Nope. Wasn’t me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:05 PM
2

I see your points and don’t disagree with them. We are just both coming at things from our life experiences. It was not my experience dating that men over exerted/extended themselves. As I said, most dates were cheap ones (especially 1st dates) and even if the man paid, I don’t agree that would count as over extending. I usually just saw it as polite, a show of interest, fulfilling traditional male role. Not as they were a simp trying to buy my affection (off topic but I also didn’t love men pay…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:59 PM
1

I see your point here. I’ll concede that. I will say that your initial post is pretty triggering but reading through responses to comments, you soften around the edges. Not the parts about money but just sounds like you’re advocating for no effort but women find effort attractive. Men didn’t get far with me with low effort past age 20. Once I learned I wanted and deserved effort, I held out for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:34 PM
0

Thanks for writing this out. This is the best definition I’ve seen and I do understand better. I guess from my perspective though, most guys fall into “soft alpha/greater beta” territory. At least all average to above average men. Being all Alpha traits (positive and negative) or all beta traits (positive and negative) - are both types of partners I couldn’t see myself or the majority of women with. I would only want guys with a mix of the traits you mentioned and lack of one, would be a turn of…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:28 PM
4

If that’s all men get out of relationships, I feel bad for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:02 PM
5

Haha this is literally what I’m doing for my husband tomorrow!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:59 PM
3

I was never a woman who expected men to pay for dates (I always offered to split) but lack of effort is a major turn off. Won’t come to my part of the city for a date? Won’t plan a date? Won’t text? Won’t put effort into his dress attire? Isn’t showing genuine interest in the conversation? Isn’t making me laugh? There’s the door. It doesn’t matter how hot he is, if he won’t put in effort (and sometimes paying can be effort, depends) it’s not a turn on. Especially cause most of my first dates wer…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:43 PM
3

Yeah but her argument was “effort” not your preference. Both sides want to see effort to determine interest. My husband generally hangs around the house in old tshirts or tanks and sweat pants. If a guy showed up to a date like that, instant turn off. That’s not how you dress in public and that’s showing low effort for how you present yourself to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:36 PM
2

💯
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:32 PM
7

I’m going by our life experience. I’ve never seen a woman of Megan Fox caliber hit on my husband nor has he reported going out with any. It does, because it all comes together. If I’m very hot, many very hot men would be interested in me and I can find personality traits I value amongst them. It’s the same at all levels. I didn’t marry the man that was hottest.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:20 PM
6

You make more sense with this comment. But the definition of “desired frequently”, isn’t going to be universally agreed upon. Some people will say it’s multiple times a day, some everyday, some 2-3 times a week, some once a week, etc. You have to know your partner and their sex drive. If something vastly changes - then speak up and find out why. But if you’re dating a woman and she’s not sexing you daily - concluding you’re a beta bucks who she isn’t attracted to is a dumb conclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:18 PM
7

I have no idea. I’ve never been Megan Fox hot. How can I honestly answer that? Attraction also has so much more to do with personality and acts of love than does looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:52 PM
10

He is though. I don’t doubt it. He even turns down blowjob offers sometimes and he could just close his eyes and pretend im someone else with that if it was that he’s not attracted. And it’s not a skill issue in that dept. He just has a lower sex drive than I do. I have to respect that as his partner. He was like this with his previous partners too. And when single, he didn’t sleep around. I have many friends with higher sex drives than their husbands too and I can confirm they are attracted to …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:48 PM
2

As will men for different women. We aren’t robots. We have different moods, interact with different types of people differently, etc. Even if I really like cheeseburgers there’s a chance, on a particular day, that I don’t feel like cheeseburger.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:39 PM
1

Some women don’t like oral. Or it feels good but they can’t get off. Or she didn’t know you well enough to feel comfortable with her face in her junk. It’s a self conscious act. If she doesn’t want it, don’t do it. She won’t judge you for not doing something she asked you not to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:24 PM
0

This
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:21 PM
10

This doesn’t make sense either. Most people partner with those of a similar level of attractiveness. My husband and I are both average. We are attracted to each other. But Megan Fox wouldn’t be interested in my husband. Nor other hot women of her caliber. Just like hot men of Henry Cavill caliber wouldn’t be interested in me. But I still find my husband attractive and I desire him. It’s the same for other couples.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:20 PM
17

This is nuts. Does it work the other way? If my husband doesn’t want sex with me everyday does that mean he’s not attracted to me? Does everyone just have the same sex drive of “needs it every day”? This is a very young and immature view of sex. Sex drives vary between individuals regardless of gender and the frequency of sexual contact changes over time and ebbs and flows. Sometimes couples have more sex, sometimes they have less. It’s just what happens. The point is to communicate and ensure y…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:12 PM
2

Yes, we did decide jointly. I’m not going to go have kids with someone else. How does that work out for me? I’m also not gonna trick my husband into another kid. You’re blaming women for single mother homes? What about the absent dads who fathered them? It absolutely explains it. Middle class families are concerned with cost of families. Poorer families used to have lots of kids to have help on farms and such. Having larger families usually helped bring more income - more people to work. But now…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 03:59 PM
1

It’s not a personal attack. You are trolling.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 03:52 PM
0

Can I ask for some help in understanding this? Redpill men are not helping me, so maybe a Redpill woman can. I mostly agree with a lot of your posts so maybe you can help me wrap my head around this. Because this alpha/beta concept from Redpill really makes no sense to me, even how you described. As a woman, I believe that stability IS sexy. Unstable men, even if very physically attractive, are just not attractive to me for a long term partner. Personally, I didn’t want to have meaningless sex s…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 03:46 PM
1

I’m not knocking the woman because she’s in a position where she may continue to struggle or be given a chance to be his slave for a way out of poverty. I’d probably take it too. The man here is clearly the predator wtf? How are his intentions genuine?! He knows he’s going to offer some poor woman with no options a way out AND that she will take him up on it to have a better life. Your purity comment makes no sense - you could easily look for a well educated woman with financial means from a mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 02:58 PM
1

I’m not knocking the woman because she’s in a position where she may continue to struggle or be given a way out. I’d probably take it too. The man here is clearly the predator wtf? How are his intentions genuine?! He knows he’s going to offer some poor woman with no options a way out AND that she will take him up on it to have a better life. Your purity comment makes no sense - you could easily look for a well educated woman with financial means from a more traditional culture. Or a church going…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 02:36 PM
1

What? Get out of here troll. No one wants to hear you go on about how feminism is evil and women shouldn’t be working. We need to be home popping out babies yes? Wages stagnating is because we have billionaires running the show. Not because women began working. Also, correlation does not prove causation.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 02:30 PM
2

Idk what types of relationships you’ve been in, but my husband and I decided jointly on number of kids. I wanted two, he wanted one, so we have one. This is how it works in most families. Yes, I’m aware that lower income families typically have more children - but that doesn’t mean that middle income families have an easy time affording 2+ kids nowadays. Everything is much more expensive than it used to be and families want to send their kids to college, give them an inheritance, afford travel, …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 02:28 PM
-2

Seriously! Why don’t they get this? I would’ve never married a man who didn’t provide - but that makes him alpha not beta.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 03:19 AM
3

Sounds like you need to choose better.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 03:15 AM
0

She doesn’t have to take it - but she likely will if she feels it will get her out of a bad situation. Again, not knocking the woman. Just the man. Men who go to other countries in search of poor uneducated women are 100% predatory and if you can’t see that, then you are likely one of these men. They are looking for women to control and serve them. Women with other options will choose better than that. If you’re so convinced it’s NOT predatory - tell me one non-predatory reason looking for such …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 10:43 PM
1

No, he’s taking advantage of her lack of options by offering other limited options that he controls. Are you serious? Do you not see how it’s predatory? It’s plain as day friend. He might be lifting her out of poverty by supporting her financially - but then she just becomes his property essentially. When men are specifically going for women with limited education who live in poverty (particularly in foreign countries) - it’s because they just want a woman who will shut up, clean, cook, and prov…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 08:11 PM
1

It’s not a silly conflation. It’s pretty clear. But have a good day.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 07:26 PM
1

Thanks for sharing your experience. That is disheartening. It’s hard not to buckle when social pressure tells you you shouldn’t like who you like. But I say date who makes you happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 07:16 PM
1

The only pattern either of us need to notice is that we aren’t going to convince the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 06:38 PM
1

I don’t agree this pressure would’ve primarily come from other women. Only if it was a large age gap situation (for the pedo comment). Then women would comment it’s predatory. I also don’t think anyone would be called “gay” for being with me, as I look very feminine. Men just generally prefer the Barbie look - and when other men don’t fall in line, they get made fun of. It goes the other way too, I didn’t like preppy boys in HS tho this was popular with my friends (boys who wore pink, did their …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 06:33 PM
1

Yes, itty bitty titty committee. I don’t mind the reference, when something’s true it’s true. I mean you may be right. But for all the world’s focus on skinny women - when I was in HS (20ish years ago), the boys were only interested in girls with assets (ass, boobs). I got called anorexic (I wasn’t). No one was interested - and maybe it was social pressure because some definitely were open to the idea of hooking up if no one else knew and I also was able to date boys who didn’t attend my HS pret…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 06:20 PM
2

Let’s break this down. Your presented scenario is: a US woman with a HS education who is living in the US with said wealthy man? And your question is: is this similarly exploitive? No. Not with this information alone. It could be exploitive. Some examples of things that could make it exploitive: large age gap while she is <22, the man isolating her from friends/family, the man being financially controlling, etc. The woman in your scenario is in her home country. In a county that allows her to be…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 06:14 PM
1

It really isn’t silly. You’ve fixed nothing. Men setup society in such a way that women didn’t have rights and were controlled by men. Feminism and the fight for rights has shifted that. If you are willing to pay for something - you value it. In this case, control over a woman and her actions.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 05:14 PM
1

I’m saying that is true of some modern men and was true in the majority of men throughout history.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 05:13 PM
7

Uh huh. Not sure any of this disproves my point that one of the reasons sex has meaning is because it has large consequences for one gender (i.e. the woman). Yes, humans have always tried to prevent pregnancy but sex always carries more risk for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 04:11 PM
8

Oh I understand. Your philosophical argument (that you’re making about straight women as an individual who is not a straight woman) is that sex is an activity that “isn’t special” we just tie meaning unnecessarily to it. And I’m telling you that if your gender died in childbirth at the rate mine has throughout history and still does in many parts of the world - you’d assign meaning too.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 04:08 PM
1

If it’s a minority of men, good.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 03:45 PM
11

Did you even read my whole comment? What’s scary is your reading comprehension skills and your assumption that all women worldwide living in all different situations have equal access to effective birth control. Your privilege is showing.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 03:43 PM
11

Sex doesn’t inherently harm anyone? My good sir, sex leads to pregnancy. Until modern times, people couldn’t effectively prevent pregnancy. Many women DIED in childbirth in extreme pain. When something has a 1 in 3 chance to kill you, you take it seriously. This is still a real risk in underdeveloped countries (and even the US has an unreasonably high maternal death rate compared to other developed countries). Sex has meaning because it used to be that you’d be parenting with that individual and…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 03:34 PM
1

Situation 1: Man and wife agreed on this arrangement. It’s not shallow. Situation2: what? I think I finally understand what you’re getting at. You’re saying a woman staying home can be viewed as “protective” by certain people and “oppressed” by others? This isn’t correlation used properly. Regardless, the issue for me here is consent and the rights of women in general society. If a woman wants to be a homemaker and the husband is on board - great, no oppression. If she lives in a modern country,…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 03:29 PM
1

It does help, thank you. But as a member of the flat chest community - men in my experience do not find this attractive. They are fine with just about any girl for casual sex but most men don’t want flat for anything serious. Luckily for me my husband had other priorities, though I’m sure he’d prefer boobs - he never expresses that.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 03:24 PM
15

Seriously? It’s not the case that educated/higher degree women make a “better” partner. The issue is that as a passport bro you are targeting women with less options in life when you go for a foreign woman who has no education and is poor. You’re doing this for a reason. Ask yourself why? Because you know she will likely be more subservient to you and easily controlled. She will more likely be a housewife, especially in a country she doesn’t know the language of, because she doesn’t have skills …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 01:05 PM
1

Yes. That is the correct definition. So what two variables are we correlating here? What two variables are you either claiming correlate or that I’m incorrectly correlating?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 12:55 PM
1

I have no fucking clue.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 12:52 PM
1

I’m not sure you know what the word correlation means. I work with statistics and I know. Like reread what you wrote - you have no point in your comments.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 12:51 PM
1

Eh you’ve got part of a point there.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 12:48 PM
1

I’m making the point that a common complaint on purple pill about women and relationships is being disproven by the comments on this post. Again, men are willing to provide for women even if they have no true desire or love for them so long as they can control the woman and the relationship. It’s only when the women isn’t under the man’s control and is her own person that they get angry.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 12:47 PM
1

No, because you’re not making any point you think you’re making.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 12:44 PM
–

I don’t think you understand. Your comment doesn’t even make sense. The post is about it not being shallow that women expect men to provide when they are building a family together.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 12:43 PM
–

None of this is an accurate interpretation of anything. Both men and women need to contribute to relationships and each couple needs to figure out what those contributions look like. It is not unreasonable for a woman to expect men to be able to financially provide in relationships - even if they can also provide themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 02:02 AM
1

And men say women are the shallow ones. Yes, the only thing women bring to the relationship table is their breast size. 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 01:24 AM
-1

You fixed nothing. Men shouldn’t support women they get no value out of. Men and women should contribute similarly to a relationship. But a man providing in a relationship isn’t commerce. Yes, OP’s business proposal is - but that isn’t my point. Men on here complain to no end that women want men who can financially contribute/support families and we get called shallow or told providers are “beta bucks” men. But this business arrangement indicates that some men are fine with supporting a woman so…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 01:03 AM
–

“Deserves”? That’s a weird way of putting it. Correct, many will not give up our careers to stay home. How about you do that. No, if I’m working and financially contributing then the husband has to contribute to housework and parenting as well. Why should it all fall on the woman? Why should we give up our careers to be left penniless in a divorce (or in a situation where the man never saw the financial benefit of marriage - even worse)? Hint - before you go off about how men get screwed in divo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 12:57 AM
3

And I would be paying for a dead bedroom too. I work and contribute financially and I want sex (as do most women!). Why do men act like women take joy in dead bedrooms. This isn’t common anyway. And it’s not all “women refusing to give men sex” - men also choose to end sex in marriages and other things happen like disability and illness. Be an active partner, don’t cheat/abuse, be a present father (if children), stay fit, communicate, etc. and you likely won’t have a dead bedroom. Women are attr…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 11:42 PM
1

I hope those men find love.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 11:38 PM
1

I did not say that. Your choice is as valid as mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 11:37 PM
2

Not all fields are on a trajectory to make that much. Or they are, but it takes longer than age 27. I’m not “not helping myself” - I’m in a helping profession that historically is less money oriented and more helping oriented.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 10:33 PM
1

My argument isn’t that women would be forced into this position. It’s that the men who would choose this option don’t value relationships with women or providing for women unless they get exactly what they want, when they want it. It doesn’t matter what she wants, just what he does. They don’t see women as human but rather there to serve them and be controlled. They will support a woman - but not if she is her own person or has her own needs - only if she obeys and submits.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 08:26 PM
5

So men don’t want relationships. If they want them to leave , essentially they just want to use them for sex and cleaning/cooking - thanks for making my point.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 08:20 PM
2

But the chef isn’t at your beck and call like described in the post. You go to the restaurant where the chef works and you have to pay the amount posted to get the food you want. The chef is employed by the restaurant, not you, and they serve you while you obey the restaurant’s rules. Also the chef only cooks your food, nothing else. This service would be buying a wife experience essentially. It would sell because of the level of control the man has over the woman. He wants xyz so he will pay he…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 08:18 PM
1

No, I see many men on here argue that most married men are beta bucks who were settled on. Most marriages don’t have dead bedrooms (only a small percentage and it’s not all women refusing sex. Many times men refuse sex. Disability/illness also factor). Most women also take care of kids/home (hopefully with the help of men). Beta bucks is not actually widespread problem in my view and I’m using this post to point that out. Women marry men we love, are attracted to, and can contribute to the life …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 07:59 PM
1

This comment is serious cringe - She needs to give in the time and way you fancy. Yes, people should both be getting what they want in relationships but you take it to the extreme.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 07:39 PM
1

Great, sounds like we are both in the perfect relationships for us.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 07:36 PM
1

Yeah - we just aren’t on the same page with how we view human relationships. Your focus is only on what she brings to the relationship and how it needs to be on your terms/timeline IF you’re going to be providing anything. Relationships involve give and take. You should be contributing as should she. You should be taking each other’s desires/needs into consideration.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 07:19 PM
1

Well this all sounds like the business deal for you. Hoping you can afford your sex worker/maid combo. Have fun being barely moral. Edit to add: your original comment says you’d pay if the price was adequate for the service. This service especially the platinum and diamond options, would be over six figures a year to the woman. Think about her sacrifices - no romantic life (most men wouldn’t date/marry these women), no time for family obligations (always on call), no time for her own interests/p…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 07:00 PM
0

No, that isn’t how relationships and money work. This post is the perfect example of why the “beta bucks” concept is nonsense. Men are willing to pay for women - as long as we obey and submit. Men are more and more arguing they shouldn’t have to provide. Because providing is beta. But this suggests providing isn’t beta when the man gets full control of the woman. It was never about getting used for your money when you dearly want love/desire - it’s about not being able to control women and get w…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 06:54 PM
1

This whole comment just really sums up my entire point. None of this shows you value women as people. We just provide services (sex, housework) and when you have to do for us, you are bitter about it. We aren’t robots. We weren’t made to do men’s bidding and obey and submit. Real relationships are about give and take, love, sacrifice, common goals, desire, etc. But you see it all as “obligation”. And most women do our obligations (I.e care for our kids cause fucking you is not my obligation). Se…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 06:39 PM
1

Yeah…wow. Did not know any of that and just confirms that the US sucks. I’m not sure we can even really debate well considering the vast differences in our countries economics. Things aren’t like this in the US. We don’t have social support (healthcare, support for parents, free college), it’s very expensive to live here. It’s truly a two income economy. That’s why women are so adamant here that financial factors play into a marriage/family. I might feel differently in your shoes, but here, men …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 06:31 PM
0

I have to disagree with you here. That is not how money typically works in relationships. Both men and women contribute to relationships in a variety of ways. Men expecting to get what they pay for in a marriage - does dehumanize women. Men are willing to pay women for wifely duties as long as she obeys and submits (as in this business model). But a woman who is their partner with a mind of her own? Nope, less interested. That’s a beta bucks man. This is dehumanizing to women. We are only worth …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 06:26 PM
1

Ha! I’m sure exploring the red light district was all in the name of academia. Thank you for your service.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 06:14 PM
0

Bait and switches are never right but I’d argue most men know. The common examples I see are men complaining women had sex partners before them, that they were friends but she went for other guys first before choosing him, that she dated other types of guys first before choosing him, etc. I’m not seeing the narrative of “I thought she loved me but only wanted what I could provide”. I also think beta bucks isn’t common - women want men who can contribute financially but we also want men that we l…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 05:49 PM
1

How do you own a house without a mortgage? Money. I misunderstand nothing. It costs far more to be poor than to be middle class or rich. Look at interest rates. I live in the US. The college comment was based on this. Admittedly, the US sucks. If life is so cheap for everyone (not just the privileged) go write a self-help book explaining. She still adds to your living expenses - hobbies, self/care, food, travel, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 05:42 PM
1

It may be higher in poorer parts of the country - but men aren’t going to pay these prices for unattractive women. And, for the most part, attractive women can get a provider. Interesting about the pregnancy points. I’ve never been/used an escort.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 05:33 PM
6

Marriage is also protection. I add to my husband’s net worth, not subtract from it. There are many benefits to legal marriage. Ask homosexual individuals - they know better than anyone why the fight for legal marriage was necessary (hint it wasn’t the piece of paper). More women suffer financially in divorce than men. There have been many studies. Men suffer more emotionally and women financially despite what is suggested constantly on Reddit. Certainty, yes. True desire and love, no. At least i…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 05:28 PM
-1

Because “beta bux (bucks?)” is bullshit in most cases. Yes, I married a provider. He is not beta to me. Most women marry men they love and are attracted to but they also marry financially secure men. I’m trying to make a point of that. We can want two things and it’s not the same as using men for a wallet as this business model literally is.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 05:18 PM
2

It is supply and demand. You need to make it lucrative enough to get the supply (attractive women who can get a provider for free) to meet the demand (men who can afford said service). No, I don’t think you lowballed. I genuinely think you’ll have to go higher for the level of sacrifice. Again, these women likely won’t have a romantic or personal life. No children (unless a single parent). Yes, poor women work for less but they also get their family, romance, etc. These women won’t have those sa…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 05:16 PM
4

It was an amazing date. Sounds tacky but I probably fell in love with him first date. We spoke about many other things - that was like a 1 minute conversation. He made me laugh a lot. You can have an awesome relationship and truly love a person but still show an interest in how to build a life together. Don’t forget, marriages with financial difficulties are more likely to end and/or be strained.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 05:11 PM
0

0 liability..hmm well that’s convenient for you. Very selfish of you to view marriages as such. The women contributes to your life but you want to be able to cut it off at any time. Variation - you got me there. Women like sex too and don’t want dead bedrooms. This is not as big of a problem as this sub makes it out to be. Also, men are often the cause of dead bedrooms. As are disability and illness. I guarantee, you stay in good shape, provide, contribute to housework and parenting - you’ll get…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 05:05 PM
3

You’ve put a lot of thought into this. But you didn’t mention how much a service like this would have to cost the men to make it worth it for the women. How many men would be willing to date/marry a woman with this career? (Does exclusivity also mean she has no sex in her private life or just no other customers?) How would she be able to take care of a family or make plans for daily life if there are unlimited visits that can be scheduled whenever the man wants? A woman taking this job would nee…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 04:54 PM
2

I laughed out loud.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 04:39 PM
2

I mean, isn’t this just being a Beta Bucks provider? Minus the submit part. Isn’t this what men are always complaining they don’t want to be? A wallet for a woman? This is being just that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 04:37 PM
9

Interesting. Could you explain how said service is different from being a Beta Bucks provider? Most men on here are adamant they don’t want women with them for money (admirable but missing the point they still need to provide). But this seems to be the same. You’re paying for the woman to provide wifely services. How is this different?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 04:36 PM
1

Most men on here complain about a woman being with a man for money. But yes it’s up to her if she wants to divorce you but you could also divorce her and she has no control over this. Cost of living is cheap when you have money…..well duh. When you have money, cars are cheap. When you have money, college is cheap. When you have money, food is cheap. No, your wife adds to your cost of living. You just described how. Money not being an issue comes from a place of privilege. Women don’t want to be …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 04:30 PM
2

It’s still cost of living. And also the strain parenting takes when both parents work (which is now required considering two incomes barely do what one did back in the 1950s).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 03:41 PM
1

I don’t think men not accounting for women’s financial situation makes sense either. Whether you have children or not. Aren’t men on here always talking about how women constantly file for divorce and take half of the men’s stuff (despite many studies showing women are more financially disadvantaged than men in divorce)? Even without kids, don’t you want to protect yourself? Okay you don’t want kids and the birth rate is dropping. It’s only dropping because of the cost of kids and because of the…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 03:40 PM
2

I feel like halfway with you on this. But just because “sparks fly”, I should give up on other dreams in life? I wanted a family, to travel, pets, to not struggle to make ends meet, etc. It’s expected I give up those wants to accommodate for a man? I’m not going to live in a cardboard box with a man. If you mean that it shouldn’t matter if the man’s not rich but still can provide (along with me) those things that I want (and hopefully you want), then I don’t disagree. But for the life of me I do…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 02:55 PM
-1

Kids AND life costs money. Women are better off if men like this stay single. They act like they are sticking it to us 🤣.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 02:51 PM
4

We have lowest child birth rates because parents are opting for less children due to the cost. Also birth control is a thing, we can now effectively prevent most unwanted pregnancies. Whereas in history, married couples had sex and then had a dozen kids. Even having one kid is a huge financial burden, so yes we still expect men to provide. Most families in America have an average (I believe but haven’t looked it up recently) 2.5 children. She doesn’t need more arguments, but I agree with the res…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 02:42 PM
1

Firstly, men should have income standards as well. It’s 2025 - women provide too and in this economy, two incomes is best. Second, at no point did OP say “any amount of intimacy”, she said “family”. Go have casual sex and get your intimacy. No men who wanted casual from me ever gave two craps what I did for a living. My husband? Asked on our first date and about how much people in my field typically make. Knew he was serious about dating for marriage at that point. Families cost money. Women alr…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 02:37 PM
1

No, while I disagree with most of the men on here, I have to disagree with you here. I have 3 degrees and my husband has 2. We are late thirties and neither of us make 100k individually. We probably both will in another 5-10 years but no most people with college degrees do not make six figures by 30.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 02:24 PM
6

I agree. My husband and I actually discussed career plans and potential salaries on our first date. We didn’t get into all those things you mentioned but we both made it clear to each other that we had real career plans, we’re making steps towards obtaining those careers, and what kind of income could be expected in our respective fields (mine less than his but I still make good money). It was one of the reasons I knew he was serious early. Guys who just wanted to fuck me didn’t care if I assemb…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 01:43 PM
9

I have three degrees and don’t make 100k a year. I’m 36. I may eventually make that but I’ll be mid-forties. So no. I do agree that 100k isn’t as much as it used to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 01:39 PM
-6

I never said “pay gap” and neither did OP. This discussion is about how is it shallow for a woman to want a provider for the family.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 11:57 AM
1

I’m not moving countries. Men don’t need women to provide financially because throughout history women have provided other benefits. We biologically are the ones who have children. We are also more likely to be the ones to primarily raise the children and take care of the home. Men’s outlook on women’s finances still stems from this traditional family setup. I’d also argue that more and more men want a woman who can provide as well in this two person economy. It’s not that we don’t love them - b…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 11:52 AM
1

Life needs money. Yes, if men can’t provide then what are you bringing to the table? We have the babies, raise the family, do the housework, and provide - what are you doing?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 11:48 AM
1

Makeup doesn’t make you pretty if you’re not attractive. It’s not shallow to expect contributions from your partner to the relationship. How is it not shallow to expect the woman to support you, have the children, raise the children, do the housework (cause let’s be real, women take the primary role in parenting and the home)?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 11:47 AM
1

🙄. We don’t think like this. We want men who provide but we fall in love. I don’t feel I settled cause my husband doesn’t make six figures. You guys take all the romance out of things - it’s all just an exchange for you. Sex for money.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 03:03 AM
17

It’s not. But the men here will bend over backwards trying to make a case for It.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 03:00 AM
12

Men aren’t shallow because they love a woman for how she looks? You’re so close here. Men just have different shallow standards for women. They focus more on her sexual attraction. We focus on emotional fulfillment as well but the bills still need to be paid
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 02:59 AM
1

We don’t settle for our partners who don’t make six figures. While I agree that hypergamy exists - most women are content with across or up, just not down.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 02:52 AM
2

I agree the reason is sound for her ending the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 02:05 AM
2

Looking at OP’s post history, he’s American. Therefore his friend likely is too. That’s not a salary one can afford rent, groceries, healthcare, etc. on and you know that. Statistically speaking he is more likely supported by family, his ex-gf, and/or the govt. Even as a poor person, he wouldn’t be able to support an impoverished lifestyle (unless he’s homeless) without charity.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 01:05 AM
2

No, common sense. Minimum wage in the US is $7.25/hour now certain states have it higher (like cali) but they come with a higher cost of living. Working 24 hours a week at $9.20 (the American average for minimum wage) he makes $220/week before taxes. How is he supporting this wonderful single life you describe? How is he handling medical insurance (gonna bet govt funded)?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 12:37 AM
3

An individual working part time at minimum wage with no desire to make more of himself is not “a man living his life as he wants”. He’s being a mooch. It’s one thing if an individual makes enough to live as a single person but that is not the person OP describes. He’s likely living off his parents (who probably want to enjoy their hard earned retirement money rather than support their 35 year old child), he may be on welfare (and then myself and other tax payers are giving our hard earned money …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 11:38 PM
2

Beta male provider? Living life on his own terms? K, who pays his bills at 35, mom and dad? That’s fair to them. They should be enjoying their retirement but they’ve gotta support their bum kid. What happens when he has an emergency? What if he needs medical treatment? Wants to own a car? Wants to travel? Wants to go to a concert with his friends? Needs to eat? Needs new clothes? Needs clothes that are weather appropriate? Needs new shoes? Being able to not mooch off of others in life is BETA be…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 11:31 PM
2

I disagree with your last sentence. I think that’d be true if he was <25. I fell hard for guys who played in bands in HS and college. But in your 30s? No, those examples won’t cut it for getting a long term partner or wife. I grew out of my rocker boy/rocker girl phase (no that is not the same as settling). Most women will feel similarly.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 11:25 PM
2

Got it. So from your perspective the woman should be the provider who lifts the man out of poverty, the pregnant one, the one who goes through childbirth, the one who goes through postpartum, the one who breastfeeds, the one who does most of the night wakings, the one who made sure enough money was saved before she got pregnant to ensure the bills got paid while she was recovering/breastfeeding, the one who does most of the housework/primary parenting (because this falls on most women….ALL WHILE…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 11:15 PM
2

A physician is a medical doctor. Do you know what it takes to get into med school, graduate med school, work crazy hours as an intern/resident? This is a career that is by definition ambitious. So I’m clarifying that a physician is a medical doctor because you must not know that to make such a comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 11:08 PM
2

Most mate across. Which is also hypergamy. But I feel the need to correct your statement that “men mate down” because it’s offensive. I’m not down for my husband. And he’s not down for me. We are across as are most couples.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 11:01 PM
7

This is a bad and immature take. You always have to be contributing to each other and your shared lives. If only one partner contributes, that isn’t fair and very selfish of the other partner. Take my parents. My dad lost his job when I was in middle school. But he picked up with stuff around the house, drove me to school/activities, took me to sick appointments, and was always applying to jobs. He was out of work for awhile but he eventually got back to it. My mother didn’t leave nor was it a d…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 09:15 PM
1

Good for you. Here’s a cookie 🍪.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 09:03 PM
3

Yes, but most families have kids and most women want them. It doesn’t say the gf wants a family/stable future but we can ascertain that’s probably the case. It’s not shallow for women to want men to be able to provide - we provide as well as primarily take care of the family and home. She gave him a chance (assuming he had the part time job when they met) and he refused to grow as a partner. It’s reasonable to leave.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 09:00 PM
2

That’s the life THEY (man and wife) chose. Fixed it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 07:28 PM
0

No - but they: 1) don’t get pregnant by themselves. The man helps. 2) typical stay at home moms are taxed
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 07:14 PM
6

You honestly think that sounds easy? Pumping out kids? Taking care of multiple crying kids who fight, while you wobble around pregnant and nauseous or in pain, breastfeeding these kids, taking care of meals/laundry/injuries/sicknesses/night wakings/ etc?! Honestly you are either a troll or a kid in my guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 06:48 PM
7

You know nothing about parenting Electric_Death. 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 06:39 PM
1

Solid thought process. But it just shows where men’s priorities lie. If she’s hot, they probably will continue to not care. Personally, I think they should. Unless it’s a situation where a woman was raised in a very conservative family - taking care of their younger siblings, cooking meals, housework, not allowed to work outside the home (a woman like this would likely be a good parent and wife) - then I think it’s fair to use the same standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 06:34 PM
1

Solid thought process. But it just shows where men’s priorities lie. If she’s hot, they probably will continue to not care. Personally, I think they should. Unless it’s a situation where a woman was raised in a very conservative family - taking care of their younger siblings, cooking meals, housework, not allowed to work outside the home (a woman like this would likely be a good parent and wife) - then I think it’s fair to use the same standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 06:34 PM
9

Let’s read between the lines and actually take into consideration what it takes to be the primary parent staying home with kids. This is a full time heavy lifting job. Kids are no joke and I’ve stayed home and worked full time and working full time is the easier gig. He will put other things in front of his kids - like whatever he’s putting in front of work now. Which will be 1000x worse because it leaves the woman to do all without extra income from working. My argument has far more evidence th…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 06:13 PM
7

lol his girlfriend wanted to make sure SHE wasn’t being used by a deadbeat with no real prospects. He is the exact example of the type of men we are always told to choose better than. He doesn’t have to conform to women’s standards. He can stay single. I can’t see many (if any) women choosing that situation. If he wants a woman, he’s probably gonna have to step up 🤷‍♀️.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 06:06 PM
4

Men want women with redeeming qualities too…they may focus less on income if they are well off but they want pretty, big boobs, gives blow jobs, cooks, cleans, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 05:56 PM
2

I mean, if it helps, I judge them. But I probably shouldn’t. I think the point here though is that women won’t accept that in a partner most of the time. If they do, that’s up to them but I’m not going to agree OP’s friend’s gf is shallow or wrong for leaving. If both partners are on board with their situation - who am I to judge? But I’m also not going to judge this girl poorly for making a choice probably 95% of women would make.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 05:53 PM
11

Based on what? What qualities did OP list that make you think his friend would make a “great dad”? You think a man who can’t be bothered to work full time is gonna step up to the 24/7 of stay at home dad? Delusional.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 05:41 PM
10

Doesn’t mean they are capable either and that’s a risky card to play considering how expensive divorce is for the spouse who makes more. I wouldn’t take a risk on a man who has shown no initiative in building their life.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 04:56 PM
28

Yes a man who has not bothered to work full time or attempt to make more than minimum wage is really the type of personality who is going to be a go getter as a house husband and stay at home parent. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 04:37 PM
17

We are not ruthless lol. And dating is not bad for MEN. Maybe for boys like who OP describes. Women already work, have the babies, are the primary parents, primarily take care of the home and now we have to accept a 30-something year old man who only wants to work part time at minimum wage? Thanks but no thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 04:35 PM
26

Divorce is far more likely in couples with low income. Also, the woman’s doing everything then - supporting the family, creating the family, raising the kids. It’d be one thing if your buddy wanted to be a stay at home parent and took care of kids/home but I don’t trust a man who will only work part time at minimum wage in his 30s to step up and be the husband and father I’d need him to be. This is a normal thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 04:32 PM
-1

🙋‍♀️#2
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 02:33 AM
8

Exactly the guys who have been the worst to me have been the least attractive. Average as the day is long.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 07:47 PM
16

You got the clap? They have a pill for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/25 07:45 PM
1

No, offense taken. Thank you for your response. I did online dating because after college, I was never really approached. I had one boyfriend in grad school whom I met through work. It was short term. I work in a female dominated field so I didn’t have many options in grad school. I just wasn’t meeting men and lots of people were doing online dating. Yes, online dating could take up time. It gave me options though which I didn’t really have in real life. I’m not unattractive just average. Funny …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 01:54 AM
1

Yes, I’ve met men in real life I was attracted to also that I wouldn’t have been attracted to in a photo. But with online dating - you only get an online profile. When given choices, I chose to go out with the ones that I felt I’d most likely be into/attracted to. Was I supposed to go out with every single guy who messaged me? Should I have quit my job and taken up dating full time? I don’t understand your criticism of my comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/25 12:58 AM
1

I honestly don’t care about your view of it. I enjoy pleasing my partner. It’s a turn on. Many men do enjoy eating women out. Just because you think giving head is gross - doesn’t mean everyone else does. And yes sometimes it’s used as an insult but so is “fuck you” and “kiss my ass”. If you’re with a partner who respects you, it’s not an insult and is a great way to connect and provide pleasure to one another. You can choose not to respect me and other women for it, but the only man I care abou…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 12:53 PM
1

The problem is you have a negative view of women. Any sex act can be degrading depending on the relationship with the person. A guy who doesn’t respect me having sex with me? Degrading. A guy calling a woman a whore/slut in bed who isn’t in a committed relationship with her? Degrading. A guy lying to a woman to get in her pants? Degrading. Not all men view women giving them a blowjob as an act of degradation. It’s also not like men don’t service women as well in whatever way she prefers (or at l…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 04:40 AM
1

Hmmm…no. There’s nothing humiliating with how we do it. Just standard woman liking a man taking control in the bedroom - take a poll, this is most women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 04:26 AM
2

Yeah…that would piss me off too haha. Maybe just hold her feet while watching tv or kiss her cheek. My husband does those things and I feel safe and warm inside.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 01:02 AM
2

You’re not a sucker - snuggles are the best.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 12:55 AM
1

Being submissive =/= inferior as a person/gender. If I deep down felt inferior - it would show in more important decisions like financial or discussions about our future. I’d be one of those tradwives who respects the man as the leader and decision maker of the household. Or who doesn’t think women should vote or hold leadership positions. Fuck all of that. But yes, in the bedroom - it’s fun to obey orders, give your partner pleasure, and let him take control. It’s a stress release, feels protec…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 09:47 PM
38

I’m not sure if I’m the demographic you wish to respond, but here we go. I dated online between the years 2011-2013, I met my husband at the end of 2013. I have no idea how many messages I received/sent myself. Sometimes I’d get an onslaught of messages (mostly when I just joined and when the site recycled its algorithms and put me in front of more guys) and other times I’d get nothing. When I got a lot of messages, I was more picky with who I responded to. Sometimes, I was just talking to too m…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 07:18 PM
1

Subservient? No. Submissive in bed - sure that’s fun. It’s also not like my man doesn’t give me pleasure also. It doesn’t matter what position you are in, you’re in control of his pleasure and that’s hot. You can have an equal partner in all walks of life but play submissive in bed. The two aren’t mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 01:27 PM
2

Yes, because you’re going to rather an extreme talking about how sweaty you get and how your dick gets rubbed on toilet bowels - it sounds like you’re hellbent on turning us all off to blowjobs. It’s just a lot of effort and I’m trying to figure out why. If you don’t like em, you shouldn’t get them. I don’t know you’d have to ask men this question about facials. I’ve never had a partner do this or ask. But personally, whether or not submissive sex acts are degrading really depends on my relation…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 01:24 PM
0

I didn’t call you an incel. Just pointing out that your post sounds like you’re trying to convince women we shouldn’t perform oral on our partners. Of course if it’s not something you’re into, then that’s up to you. But have you ever heard the saying we tell toddlers about food? “Don’t yuck someone else’s yum”.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 01:43 AM
2

wtf - just shower 🧼 🚿. Rub a dub dub. Are you trying to make it so our husbands never get blowjobs again? Cause it really sounds like you are deprived of blowjobs and using this post to try and convince women that giving them is super gross and degrading and we should stop. I don’t think most men would approve of this endeavor.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 11:29 PM
2

I really think it comes down to the relationship you have with the person. For example, my husband almost never asks for blowjobs (like literally never despite me telling him he can) because he “doesn’t want me to feel like a mouth”. Everything about this man is respectful of me in every walk of our life. If he thought it was hot to cum on my face (we’ve never done this) - I don’t believe that I would feel degraded. Just content that I could give him pleasure. I do agree that certain sex acts ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 07:29 PM
9

No, it would not but I would need more information. With the information you provided, it probably would not bother me assuming STD tests were taken. However, men who have spent a lot of time with strippers/escorts would be a deal breaker. If they are heavy in the party scene, doing drugs, and fucking escorts - this would be a red flag for cheating and incompatibility. But if your whole story is really that you wanted to experience intimacy but didn’t have access to/interest in a relationship, t…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 06:34 PM
1

Well then they aren’t being respectful partners to the women who submit to them. You can absolutely have a woman be submissive to you in the bedroom while also treating her respectfully in your day to day life and respecting her boundaries in the bedroom. If you can’t do this effectively and/or view yourself as degrading her, then best to avoid this type of interaction in your relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 05:13 PM
1

Sexual submission =/= degrading.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 04:00 PM
7

It’s not degrading to give your man pleasure. It’s actually a huge turn on. And my husband’s response does not suggest it doesn’t feel good or “doesn’t feel like much of anything at all”. I really enjoy connecting with him through this act. It’s often a quick way to get sexual contact when we are both tired and rundown from working and parenting. I have had partners who demand (in a coercive/abusive way not sexy play dominant way) that type of act and that is not attractive and is demeaning. No …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 03:42 PM
2

No. Women are far more likely to end up worse off financially than men after divorce. Most parents - if the man wants it but usually he prefers the woman raise the kids - can get 50/50 custody, so as long as their aren’t any safety issues with one parent (I.e. drug use, risky behavior). And if divorce courts do divide things up, it’s usually whoever makes more (which is not always the man) who owes more. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5992251/#:~:text=Numerous%20studies%20have%20shown%…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 04:19 PM
1

It’s not half HIS money. I work full time and brought savings and retirement money to this marriage. We bought our house together and pay the mortgage. It’s OURS but half is mine. Wild how men see it all as HIS - your comment. And yes, to answer your question, if his lawyer decided to go after my premarital savings/retirement account or our house- I’d have a lot to lose.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 04:02 PM
1

Uh huh…and the men who bragged about “grabbing women by the 🐱” did? No. Men don’t have to run a good campaign against a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 03:38 PM
–

Love and agree with all of this. No notes.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 04:43 AM
2

I’m gonna tell you what men on this sub love to tell women who have been with abusers/cheaters - choose better. The law can’t differentiate based on the type of spouse they were. Divorce courts can argue who deserves what and hopefully it works out fairly. But you can’t change the whole field of divorce to screw women cause some may deserve to be screwed. Personally, no I don’t think much of kept women. But I don’t feel badly enough for the men that keep them to leave a spouse (like the one in o…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 04:35 AM
1

You left out the part about how, in the scenario, you missed out on raises and pension payments by your employer. You at the least would’ve had a pension for retirement AND a much higher salary ten years down the line if you continued working. You also would’ve paid into the house so now it’s your investment too (not only mine).You also saved me money on childcare/summer camps ($$$), allowed me to work overtime and weekends to get ahead in my career by providing childcare without a nanny/sitter,…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/25 04:29 AM
1

Agreed. Stupid or not - I wanted a man who was taller than me in heels. I’m only 5’3, so most men are. It wasn’t too hard to find. Other traits were much harder to find.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 10:51 PM
2

He barely out earns me. And there are other aspect to our finances that you don’t know about like how I put more of my money into a down payment on our house. There have been times I made more money and it’s likely I will out earn him again in future. But even if I don’t, if we divorced we would split things how we saw fit. You don’t get to weigh in here. And while we both parent, I am definitely the primary parent.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 10:44 PM
1

Just for raising the kids?! You don’t have kids huh? Let’s do a thought experiment. Let’s pretend we are getting married. I’m a lawyer and you’re a teacher. We agree that we want a family and we don’t want to send them to childcare when they are young. Since you make less, we decide you stay home. Keep in mind, teachers generally get raises every year, their district pays into their pension, and they contribute to separate retirement accounts on top of that. We have three kids and you stay home …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 10:41 PM
4

Most women work nowadays - and when they don’t - it’s often because the men don’t want them too. Women take care of kids when they are stay at home moms and that is no easy task. Women absolutely do contribute in all the ways I mentioned. My husband makes more than me, but not by much. We both work full time, take care of the home, and parent. Half of our assets are mine. And any labor that you could “hire out” - is saving you money. The man doesn’t have to pay for a surrogate, childcare, housew…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 10:22 PM
2

Nope. Is the man a stay at home dad? Is he contributing? Then nope.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 10:18 PM
9

This is all just wild. If this is the women you are dealing with - then I’m going to tell you the same thing men love to tell women on this sub when it comes to abusers/cheaters - choose better. I am myself between 18-39 and my friends and coworkers are too. I don’t know a single woman who sees things like this or who doesn’t work their ass off in their career and parenting. I work full time and my husband and my assets are half mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/25 06:39 AM
14

Choose better 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 11:11 PM
6

You sound angry and your views are very warped. My husband works from home in a similarly demanding job to my own. One day you will have kids and understand parenthood better. I am assuming people agreed to the dynamic as a couple. The stay at home parent doesn’t agree to give up their financial security and future. The marriage ensures they won’t. It’s a contract that ensures both parties build together. Who says she cheats/abuses/bitches and complains? Maybe he cheats. Maybe he abuses. No, tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 10:33 PM
7

Yeah, I’m gonna tell you what the men love to tell women on this sub - choose better. The majority of stay at home parents are big time contributors to the spouse and family. You can’t legally take away their rights because some stay at home parents may be “couch moms”.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 09:47 PM
12

It’s not a dumb take. Go get some kids and a baby and stay home 24/7 with them and then come talk to me. We get a lot out of raising our kids but we need to be able to support ourselves also. The man gets something out of having a family too but he doesn’t have to sacrifice his financial security. If you had a stay at home parent who did all of that and more - then why don’t you have more respect for them? Should your mom’s contributions to the family and raising you and your siblings counted fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 08:51 PM
18

Are you kidding me? You’ve never been a parent huh? Child rearing full time is more taxing than working full time - and I’ve worked high stress jobs. Stay at home parents raise the kids (save the man childcare costs), do all the housework, cook all the meals, do the childcare while men work overtime, do the sick appointments, are up at night with the kids, sometimes they homeschool kids (at least for pre-k), etc. Stay at home parents contribute to the family. They are giving up their ability to …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 08:13 PM
33

All of this is so true. Men act like they get screwed so much in marriages that many are refusing to get married. Women are then having kids anyway and staying at home as a girlfriend - and they have no legal protections. He doesn’t have to support her (and likely won’t long term if he couldn’t be bothered to make a commitment). Women are more likely to be in poverty after divorce than men but yet men go on about how unfair divorce courts are to them. I’m honestly not against pre-nups - I consid…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 07:39 PM
34

Your whole second paragraph- 💯. It’s the men not valuing what the woman contributes in terms of their success, especially when they stay at home. It’s HIS not THEIRS. I have no issue with a man owning a house pre-marriage who wants to make sure it stays his house (but we have to take into account if she pays into the mortgage, the taxes, the remodels, the maintenance, etc.). But too many men on here go on about how she took half HIS stuff in a divorce and I’m sitting here like…well half was hers…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 07:22 PM
1

No, I honestly don’t think any woman ever had a shot or would any time in the near future.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 12:29 PM
1

Time off doing what? Raising kids. Which is disproportionately women.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 12:29 PM
2

Just here to tell you the 15th percentile is below average. The top 10-20% of the men are the 80-99th percentiles.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 12:43 AM
3

Id take the replacement. Grief would do that. But this is a little unfair as I’ve already decided if I were to ever find myself not married, I would not resume dating. You should ask someone who would be open to entering the dating world.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/25 12:00 AM
2

Cause we are real people. We weren’t made to be perfect. You only want a robot because you can control it and make it serve your selfish wishes. Relationships with humans is about give and take. I don’t want a robot husband. I love my flesh and blood one.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 11:08 PM
3

Just as long as no more women try for awhile. Unless they run Republican. As much as I want to see a woman president, I’m not willing to have the dems keep losing to prove America is misogynist.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 11:07 PM
3

Then I hope they make acceptable robot girlfriends (or boyfriends) for your sake as soon as possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 10:53 PM
2

I’m pretty sure any individual with a penis will win over a woman in the US. I’m not familiar with Yang.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 10:52 PM
1

That’s a choice made by society. It doesn’t mean that it’s suddenly true that women are only attracted to ten percent of men. All that study tells you is that on an app, when given only a picture (who knows if it’s even a good picture), women rate men more harshly on looks than men rate women. This cannot be extrapolated into the real world. And as far as online dating goes - smart women eventually catch on to the fact that they can’t tell from pictures. Or at least I did. I went out with guys I…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 10:51 PM
1

It’s a selfish, pigheaded boundary. But agree. If they choose that for themselves, that’s on them too.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 10:39 PM
2

So you are allowed to sleep with other people but they aren’t if they want to continue the relationship with you. They are “free” to but not in the same way you are. You are free to sleep with others and continue with them. However, you wouldn’t tolerate the same behavior from them. Yeah, you sound like a catch.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 09:40 PM
5

Yes, because women saw that men liked these things and eventually we joined you. Women and men want to be together (in hetero individuals). Yes, real people will always be seen as better in mentally healthy individuals. For fucks sake - we are people! If you think you can replace people with a robot - then this is why you’re single. Start looking at the opposite gender as another human being.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 08:48 PM
3

Curing cancer>your emails
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 08:45 PM
3

I also gave you data. You conveniently ignored my cheating data and how it negates yours.And no - studies can have criticism. Their usefulness only extends to the parameters of the study. In this case apps. Not real life meetings between men and women. It’s pictures only. It’s not personality, sense of humor, smell, tone of voice, etc. All things multiple women will tell you we need.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 08:41 PM
1

Or you cleverly make them feel as though you are monogamous. Without clearly stating it. This arrangement sounds only beneficial for you. Are they also allowed freedom to sleep with other partners?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 08:38 PM
3

You’re basing all of this on app studies. I assure you, they were very average. Just googled and 20% of men report cheating while married - and probably more do while dating. So that blows your 10% theory. Also - you realize 75% of the population is low average to above average, yes? Statistically speaking. Dating app studies are skewed. As a woman who used to date online - I can tell you that I could not tell attraction from pictures in most cases. Guys either looked unattractive, normal, or a …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 08:34 PM
0

I’ve known many average men in the dating market. My husband is one. My college friends are classic dorks (no gym routine, played video games, socially awkward, average/below average looks, etc.). All but one is married and they all had other girlfriends before their wives. Anyone struggling that hard is below average. The chances are not near 0. Most men are married or partnered. Stop being bitter some other guy gets it easier and make yourself a person someone would want to partner with. Someo…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 07:10 PM
4

This bullshit again? The guys who cheated on me were average. The guys who have cheated on my friends? Average. This top 10% is bullshit. Humans in almost all different cultures have marriage in some shape or form.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 07:05 PM
0

I just looked it up and I’m seeing a lot of criticism for this book. While it’s popular, most scholars and academics reject it. In fact it was initially rejected for publication because it failed its peer review process. There are significant criticisms of their methods and conclusions. It is not outdated information that humans pair bond. You can look all through history and see that most cultures have some version of marriage. Men just use this nonsense to backup their right to cheat and sleep…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 07:03 PM
9

If the answer is anything other than “yes” or needs qualifiers, then you’re not being transparent and are being deceitful.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 05:20 PM
1

Is this true for human males? Humans have always pair bonded. Meaning one close partner. For the purposes of raising offspring together and ensuring one’s genes are passed down. Certain animal species - the males do seek to spread seed. But with humans, this argument is just an excuse from men to allow their shitty behavior of cheating/sleeping around while expecting women to remain chaste.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 05:18 PM
6

Do they know about each other?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 05:16 PM
0

The didn’t vote for Kamala because she’s a woman and America is misogynist. It was never about men’s rights. Trump was always going to cut programs that predominantly benefit white men - such as those mentioned. Hate for women and feminism runs deep.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 05:11 PM
1

Then find a woman on the same page as you. If they want a future, kids, financial security, not to be your sole provider, etc. - she’s gonna expect you to bring something to the table. It would be selfish for you not to.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 04:36 PM
-1

What? Marriage is loyalty. It’s the ultimate commitment to another human being (at least one you didn’t birth). Nothing I said is a lie. I’m responding to this comment about how men don’t think they should have to try. They see it as an insult because more physically attractive or rich men get women even if they are crappy people. I’m countering that with - the same is true for women. Pretty Barbies can marry rich men/movie star hot men and all men (regardless of income) will bend over backwards…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 02:05 PM
1

Most women do all this. You’re just making up a low likelihood scenario. But I assume she would also be working and providing so it would be equal.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 02:00 PM
1

💯
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 01:44 PM
0

I already answered this. See comments above.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 03:37 AM
-1

My husband does provide thanks. I wouldn’t have married him if he wasn’t willing to be a provider, husband, and father. That’s the whole point of OPs post. Men aren’t going to be chosen if they can’t contribute.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 03:11 AM
-1

Your views are not accurate on life. You’ve decided the system is rigged against you. Hard work will never pay off for poor guys like you - women will just be handed stuff 🙄. Sure we are equal. This whole sub supports we are not. Men think we are less than and are angry they can no longer control us. I do make my own money and provide for myself. But I’m not going to have the babies, feed the babies, do all the housework, cook, etc. AND provide for the man. He has to be a provider. It’s literall…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 02:51 AM
-3

Your logic makes no sense and college doesn’t always equal more pay. I have three degrees and make less than many blue collar jobs. The pay gap argument is about men and women in similar positions with similar responsibilities making different amounts. Colleges give grants to those that earn them. Sure there are probably some that are only for one gender/race to apply for but that doesn’t mean it’s completely unequal. Women had to fight for the right to be educated and grants helped us get there…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 02:20 AM
1

What question? The one where you completely disrespect the process of bringing life into this world? What women go through to accomplish this and to raise the next generation? The one you suggested is similar to a fart or a bowel movement? Are you a child? You are clearly not a father - because most men who are have immense respect for what their partners did. If you are a father, I feel for the mother of your child. You are not a man a woman should ever have a child with.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 01:39 AM
–

This was truly my experience online dating. I couldn’t tell from pictures who I was attracted to. I picked ones that looked most attractive and had bios that suggested we might be compatible. Sometimes, I wasn’t attracted to them upon meeting. After a few months I realized I can’t tell at all from a picture. When meeting men in real life, I’ve been attracted to men I doubt I’d have been attracted to with just a picture of their face. I think men are more used to feeling attraction to pictures of…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 01:34 AM
–

This is long and I don’t feel like responding to all but your whole “average” argument is bugging me. Your argument is that most of these average guys are above average in at least one area and you list them. Average is a measure of central tendency. Most people have strengths and weaknesses. Being above average in one area doesn’t make you overall not average. Especially if it’s balanced out by being below average in another area. Think of it like an IQ test - measures things like verbal skills…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 01:25 AM
2

Women can also have horrible and toxic personalities but if they look like Barbie, men will still pay their way/wife them. This goes both ways. Should women, who don’t look like Barbie, collectively just refuse to be good people, work out, be educated, have a good job, etc.? Cause we will just been seen as “wife material” - an insult yes? (Cough husband material is not an insult, it’s a compliment. No one wants to marry a fuck boy cough).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 01:13 AM
2

Once again…We (women) are not the problem. Perfect example.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 01:09 AM
1

I’m sorry you’re so mistrustful. Maybe this will help. If a woman wants a future with you, to carry your children, to raise children with you (no easy task), take a vow for sickness and in health - she loves you. By and large, we don’t choose men we don’t love to do these things with. Sure there are some gold diggers here and there (but there are also men who are cheaters/abusers, etc.). If a woman wants a life with you, she loves you. It’s a huge commitment and one the requires EFFORT from both…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 01:08 AM
3

Your immaturity is showing. You have no respect for women or what we bring to the table.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 01:03 AM
2

Fart out babies? Wow, yes that’s what we do. OP is 100% right, the problem isn’t us.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 12:30 AM
1

Women do those things. We make families, we care for them, we primary parent, we cook/clean, provide - why is it unreasonable to want a partner who also contributes? We want you to meet us where we are at. This whole back n forth has been you stating that we shouldn’t expect anything from men - we should just love you for you. Anything less is not true love. It has never been that we don’t owe you effort and care back. The type of love you describe is selfish. When you love someone, you both wor…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 12:28 AM
1

We will have to agree to disagree here. It feels like an insecure form of love to women when men won’t do for us. What about when we get old? Get sick? We have children together? We need to keep the lights on? Women are caretakers. We expect men to be able to do this in return. If you can’t put effort into a future with us - are we worth it to you? Probably not.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 12:12 AM
1

No one said that’s ALL we are looking for - but we want someone who can do life with us. That has similar goals and desires. Who will be a partner in obtaining and maintaining that - not make us do it all. One way I show love is by doing for others. How can I trust your love if you won’t do for me? Acts of service is one way we show others we love and care.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 12:01 AM
2

There’s gotta be a balance. Even if that’s all you’re looking for in a partner and a future (I.e. not interested in family/kids/traveling together/etc.) - Women are often looking for more. We aren’t going to settle with a guy who can’t co-support a family/kids if that’s what we want. Doesn’t matter how amazing he is. I wasn’t going to compromise on that. But it’s also not so dire as I only want my husband for what he can provide us - I want him for him. I love him more because of the sacrifices …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 11:39 PM
3

Guys who don’t have a career, emotional stability, aren’t attractive to me (I want sex sorry), aren’t funny, who don’t want the same things as I do, who have drug/alcohol problems, etc. I don’t think anyone who has characteristics of above are worthless as individuals. But that doesn’t mean they provide enough as a partner for me to be interested in that. The OP is saying men need to step up and stop whining women’s standards are too high. Meet them. We already biologically do everything for mak…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 11:28 PM
3

I mean, let’s break this down a bit. The trust someone to love you if you can’t do something for them bit. But you expect them to do for you right? You want her to cook for you, clean your clothes, have your babies, raise your babies etc. but you don’t think it’s reasonable she wants you to be able to do things for her? I had a friend when I was teenager - unfortunately he died when I was 18 and he was 21. After high school, he didn’t get a job, dropped out of college, and became addicted to her…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 11:23 PM
-2

She didn’t say “worth nothing”. She said they have nothing desirable. I can think a person is valuable as a community member/family member/friend, but if they bring nothing to a romantic partnership or fatherhood - why would I want to escalate the relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 11:14 PM
6

There are literally multiple posts by men going on about how they don’t want to provide. I was told today that men go to college less now - so women will have to lower our standards and not expect men to provide…ha! No. Do better. Women provide nowadays, we are pregnant, we birth babies, we breastfeed babies, we are the primary parents, we cook, we clean, we do laundry - if men aren’t providing, what exactly are y’all doing? This sub is rampant with men complaining about paying child support, co…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 11:11 PM
1

I live in the US and haven’t dated in over a decade. Every guy asked when we were discussing relationships. If they just trying to get sex - they didn’t. Look all over this sub and askmen on Reddit - tons of men go on about wanting virgins or low body count women. Even if they have high body counts, they make the argument that men are different than women and can have their cake and eat it too in that regard. Women have less sex with less men because we are judged for it. We use our limited free…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 09:45 PM
1

Cause they will ask. And women judge other women for it too. Or men will brag.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 09:31 PM
1

Women are more stringent about sex because men judge us for body counts.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 09:24 PM
11

I love it when people bring data to the party.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 08:48 PM
1

I’m not saying women don’t value physical attraction but men value it more. It’s a hyper focus for them. I’d never marry a hot guy who couldn’t keep a job - but a man likely would marry such as long as she is a young, attractive woman. No average guy would reject a somewhat attractive woman for a date (sex). But wife them? No. And if they do, then they won’t want sex with them or have desire for them. Which is exactly what men complain about on here with women. Men are obsessed with physical att…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 08:46 PM
2

Men depend less on physical attraction than women do? Hard disagree. Isn’t that one of the main arguments on here? That men care about attraction while women care about success/money/stability. We keep getting accused of marrying beta bux for other benefits who we aren’t attracted to. So which is it? Men’s whole focus is on beauty - it’s why passport bros exist. They go buy pretty women. Men care less about our education, career, etc. They care about how pretty we are and our body count.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 08:14 PM
0

I always assumed I’d be lonely while dating. You’ve never dated men, I’m assuming other wise you’d know dating you guys is no picnic. I’m married but I’d never date again if anything changed. It’s not worth it. I’ve never met any woman looking for a man who has never had a gf or who was unsuccessful with women to catch a husband. My husband was more recently sexually active and in a prior relationship than I was when we met. I’d come off 2.5 years sexless and single.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 08:10 PM
-1

…this was a wild read and take. No comments right now as this just seems so out of touch, I wouldn’t even know where to start.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 07:23 PM
3

No - but men are still focused on that ideal. Men have a completely unrealistic view on how women should look from social media and porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 07:20 PM
1

You didn’t say that - but you don’t need to. That’s the true interpretation of what you said. Why should we date down? Why can’t men be men and step up? We already get pregnant, birth babies, breastfeeding babies, clean, cook, work and be providers - and what do you do if you don’t provide??? Why are men going to college less and less? That’s our problem that men wanna be NEET? No, thanks. I’m fine if a man isn’t college educated as long as he has a career - plumbers, auto mechanics, contractors…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 07:16 PM
-5

Exactly. Men are so jaded by porn and social media that they are only attracted to women who look like Victoria secret models who are young.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 03:54 PM
-2

Maybe be interested in women who don’t look like Victoria secret models. I know men can’t help being obsessed with porn and what they see in the media. These men with 100 women a year aren’t sleeping with only very attractive women. I know that people can’t help who they are attracted to - but social media and porn have truly given men unrealistic expectations of what women look like.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 03:51 PM
1

Firstly, we aren’t talking about one experience specifically (I.e. yours). If you truly aren’t targeting women who are uneducated/have less opportunities and are going to their country and assimilating into their culture - have at it. When I say 50/50 I don’t mean finances. I mean in decision making - but I also mean in freedoms. Including the freedom to leave and be able to support oneself if that person isn’t content in the relationship. I recognize many women want a traditional role - I don’t…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 01:44 PM
1

*I’d rather have a more attractive woman who I’m exploiting and who is trapped with me because she has no better options because it satisfies my sexual needs. Rather than a less attractive woman who is not being exploited. There I fixed it for you! Also most western women have their own money, I certainly add to my husband’s net worth not subtract. But you jump through whatever mental hoops you need to avoid the fact that you are exploiting women for sex. Edit: western men are just as fat. I cou…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 12:06 PM
1

Two things can be true. The guy isn’t truly loved or desired - he offers money and citizenship. He is being used for this. The woman has no education, no family, no friends, no citizenship, may not know the language, etc. She has accepted a position as a sex slave and maid in exchange for what the man offers. It’s exploitation - she would not be there if she had better options (I.e. proof? see why western women weren’t interested). I never said “dumb” or “helpless” that’s yourself. I said they l…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 10:23 PM
1

Yes, and they are letting people use them. You’re buying a wife. Especially if you have so little to offer, western women don’t want you. On top of that, you’re exploiting many of these women. Sure there are some who are educated and fluent in multiple languages - but most times these men are targeting women without opportunities. Women they can control. Women who, once in the US, will have no friends or family. Who won’t know the language or culture well. Who aren’t educated and can’t obtain go…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 02:07 PM
2

My husband isn’t a Chad and I didn’t settle. We want the men we fall in love with. Stop acting like women are just chasing looks and money. Men think that probably because all they are chasing is beauty and obedience.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 01:45 PM
2

I hope you meet the right partner soon. I do feel very lucky but remember feeling so defeated while dating. Guys who wanted casual, players/cheaters, drug/alcohol overuse, no career, no education, poor compatibility, etc. It was like finding a needle in a haystack for sure. Hang in there.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 02:26 AM
4

No, I’m not using any disingenuous script. I keep seeing from men on here that they fear being settled on by a woman and being seen as a wallet rather than someone she is wildly attracted to. I’m just pointing out the irony of being okay with that with non western women. Im not saying these women are untrustworthy. It seems like a pretty straightforward arrangement. You come from a more affluent country that most of the world would love to have citizenship in - and they agree to be your partner …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 02:22 AM
8

Agree with everything here. Why would we want to marry man children we have to support? Or marry men we don’t want to have sex with? Im married, but I went like 2.5 years without sex or a bf before I met my husband. It sucked, but staying single and looking for the right man was worth it rather than waste my time with either fuckboys who didn’t respect me or men below me in looks/education/employment. Happily married now and glad to be out of the dating scene. Honestly think I’d rather be alone …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 02:13 AM
1

Alright, as long as you are comfortable with the fact that they are settling for you as a walking wallet or green card and you’re good with that, then have at it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 02:04 AM
6

Because even if they are “average” in looks - they are more easily exploited. Thats the draw.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 02:00 AM
10

The “quality” - you talk like women are meat.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 01:58 AM
2

I’m just making my point. His whole argument is that all average and below men are “nice guys”. Because they can’t afford not to be. This a fallacy. I’ve met a lot of “nice guys” who have a ton of red flags but think they are nice because they can’t afford to not be nice. This guy sounds just like that. Plus he personally attacked me by saying “women arithmetic” - which is basically just saying that I and all women are stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 09:37 PM
2

Maybe I want him to leave if he’s only with me cause there’s no one else. Do you think my husband would feel good about himself if I told him I would leave him, but I have no better options so I’m staying? Of course not. Relationships are about love, connection, attraction - these things are all complicated. Neither gender should waste a partner’s time if they don’t genuinely value being with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 08:02 PM
2

This is a sad take on relationships and sounds emotionally stunted. So if I have other options of men - that means I can easily leave a partner? What if I love that partner? What if we built friends and memories together? What if he has qualities I’m not sure I’ll find again? What if he makes me laugh more than anyone else I’ve ever met? What if we built a family and a future together? What if I’ll miss his smell, his arms around me, his kisses - people who have other “options” can still value t…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 07:55 PM
2

💯
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 07:50 PM
1

It’s not “woman arithmetic”. People who aren’t happy in relationships do not treat their partners well. How is this not common sense? My whole point is not moot. Men who would cheat are not good partners. Selfish, morally loose men will be bad partners in many ways. It’s not about “affording”. Some people are crappy people and looks have nothing to do with it. I’m not assuming they are also low income. I’m describing ways men can be less attractive as partners. No, I told you I’m married to an a…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 05:54 PM
4

Idk my husband gets beers with, goes on ski trips, goes to bachelor parties, and to sporting events with his friends. No one packs the swords and bayonets to head out to the field in search of war.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 05:12 PM
3

No, their reasons are not more valid than mine. My money can be taken too (a NEET man could be in it for my income), dead bedroom, a porn addicted partner, a cheating partner, an emotionally abusive partner who is angry I’m the best they could get, and I’m being used for my vagina. They don’t want ME they want the status of having a partner AND they want an opportunity for sex. Why would they treat me “great” if I’m someone they didn’t choose? If they are unhappy with themselves or me as their c…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 05:04 PM
–

Yes, both men and women don’t want to be settled for. It’s understandable. No one is saying everyone should have a perfect life. No, I don’t agree with this fully. I don’t think we “compromise” on a partner if we truly want the person. For example I do not believe my husband settled or compromised by making me his wife. Would his first choice have been Megan Fox? Yup. But realistically we all want to be the first choice of the partner for individuals we meet in real life, are attracted to, and a…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 04:39 PM
–

No, men continually talk about not wanting to be settled on and being seen as a wallet. They don’t want to be 2nd, 3rd, etc option. It’s an idea as well. They want to be truly chosen and be attractive to their partner. We want the same. I want a man who wants me for me, is attracted to me, etc. Not a man who is only with me cause I’m the only vagina he can get.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 03:21 PM
–

I could say the same for men. They don’t wanna be “beta bux” who women settle on cause they are “safe”. They want women who want to claw their clothes off and fuck them into oblivion. Why is it bad when we also want that? We do care about being cheated on. We care about more than that tho - having a good partner. Ask yourself, if I were a Chad, would I cheat? If the answer is yes, then you don’t get points for being an average or below average looking dude who can’t cheat. You’re not a good part…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 03:06 PM
–

Read the post I made below.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 02:58 PM
–

No, the attractive man can choose to be a monogamous partner as can less attractive men. We want a partner who chooses us (I.e. is not with us because we are the best - or only - he can get). We want a man who chooses monogamy because he’s not a cheater and he wants us. Her argument it’s that many average or below average guys only don’t cheat because they can’t. They have no option to. That doesn’t mean they are good people. It also doesn’t mean that they don’t feel they’ve settled and won’t go…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 02:58 PM
–

Nailed it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 02:27 PM
–

Exactly. Most of the “nice guys” who I knew in real life who complained women didn’t want nice guys, were not actually nice guys. Sure they probably wouldn’t have been physically abusive or cheated - but they were controlling, not interested in me for me just for my having lady parts (settling), bitter/jealous, resentful of my having had past relationship/sexual experience, some weren’t catches in terms of education/employment (altho this one doesn’t play into the nice category but does play int…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 02:18 PM
3

Ideally to who? How is across bare minimum? You’re debating a definition. Hypergamy is both across and up. I’m not arguing women don’t participate in hypergamy, my argument is that it is mostly done across and not up. Look at all your couple friends, coworkers, and neighbors..can you honestly say the majority of women are with men who are above them in terms of looks, education, career? I cannot. Most people I know are coupled across. Oh you made this exact point in paragraph 3 so your first par…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 02:24 AM
1

Because it’s not a mathematical impossibility. That is directly my point. Society has always been hypergamous, it hasn’t been unsustainable, and will not be moving forward unless men move in droves towards being NEET. In which case, some women may settle for not being hypergamous. Many will opt to stay single though too. Personally, I don’t mind if a man makes less as long as he can meaningfully contribute in a financial and emotional sense. I don’t want to have to be the sole provider nor do I …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 01:57 AM
1

Hypergamy is wanting to marry across or up. Only men who are providers (gainfully employed at a level where they can contribute meaningfully to supporting a family) are potential partners. NEET men cannot participate with hypergamous women because they are neither across nor up. As long as men continue to become educated and are career-driven, our hypergamous society will be fine. Edited to add: educated here does not need to mean college. Plenty of careers, such as trades, don’t require a colle…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 01:49 AM
2

I just pointed out most women aren’t marrying “Chads”. I don’t agree that 80% of women want only 20% of men. Most people in America marry. Look around - how many couples do you see where the women are with average guys? Hypergamy has been supported throughout history. It’s only going to fail if men make it fail (not women) because they no longer decide to be providers. Because women will definitely not put up with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 01:42 AM
1

Sorry to butt in on your back and forth - but I don’t agree with your numbers on hypergamy. As the poster you’re debating with pointed out - hypergamy isn’t new. It’s always been that men are expected to provide and be able to support their wife/family. It’s not unsustainable. It’s only unsustainable if men decide they no longer wish to provide. Because women aren’t going to settle. I don’t agree with you debater friend that women would turn to polygamy - we’d just turn to sperm banks. I agree w…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 01:30 AM
2

I strawmanned nothing. Hypergamy is also across. Which is what most women look for and couple with. Most women aren’t marrying men who are rich. There just aren’t enough of them. Sure you can waste your time being mad the hottest women tend to go for those men - but that’s up to you. My husband and I have similar incomes. At times I have made more, and at times he has made more. Most of our friends are dating/married to partners with similar levels of education and income. We aren’t looking for …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/25 01:08 AM
1

No, there’s no success for women. We are constantly told we have to snap right back after babies and be hot for our husbands whereas men get patted on the back for their dad bods. Just because men fetish different body types on porn doesn’t mean they are happy when real life women don’t look like Barbie’s. Yeah? Where’d you get those numbers, your ass? Still seeing no examples…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 04:19 PM
1

K well then sounds like we are more on the same page than we originally both thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 02:26 PM
6

I didn’t say sexual attraction for dad bods was trending. I said body positivity for dad bods is a thing while women are shamed when they get stretch marks, gain weight, have saggy boobs after babies suck the life out of them, etc. Idk what AINEC is, but no. Body positivity skews towards men. Touch grass. Edit: you’ve provided no examples as to how men bring more to the table than women. You cant use “provider” because the whole argument is men shouldn’t have to be that. I gave many examples of …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 02:20 PM
2

Okay if you don’t like “entitled” to a provider fine. I refuse to accept a man who’s not a provider. Are you happier with this language? OP is not talking about men paying for first dates and neither am I. So stop with this argument. What lying and deceit if you are dating a NEET woman? Did you have an experience where a woman lied to you about having a career? If so, that’s shitty. But by and large YOU have a choice in who you date or whether you date and how much you spend on dates. Yes, stay …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 02:17 PM
5

Nope you have no valid points. The body positivity thing is wild. Have you heard of dad bods? It’s a trend. Y’all don’t even get pregnant or breastfeed. Women are shamed for how their bodies look after bringing literal life into this world but y’all get the dad bod trend. Fucking unreal you think body positivity skews towards women. Women offer men more than men offer women. Especially when you’re taking the “provider male” out of the equation. I swear this is another entitled and tone deaf post…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 02:06 PM
3

I am entitled to a provider. I am a provider. I didnt want a man who couldn’t provide and I would’ve rather stayed single if that was my only option. I have friends for emotional fulfillment and I’m attractive enough (not that this is hard as a woman) to find sex if I really wanted it. My argument that a NEET woman eventually brings more to the table than a NEET man still stands. If in the beginning it is uneven - well she brings you sex and it was your choice to date her anyway. My argument has…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 02:01 PM
6

You have no points friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 01:54 PM
4

Three counters: We don’t need to. Men are very focused on physical attributes. Many men I went out with online were relieved I looked like my picture. (One insisted on a video chat before the date to prove I looked like my picture - I said no and didn’t go out with him. Women risk our safety dating strangers, if he wasn’t willing to risk my being less attractive, he wasn’t worth my time. The date was planned for a bar, nothing expensive). The possibility of sex with an attractive woman is part o…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 01:53 PM
3

I always offered to split on dates, you’re preaching to the choir here. Sometimes men insisted and, if I liked them, I generally let them because I figured if they asked me out again I’d offer to cover the bill next time. If I didn’t like them and knew I wouldn’t see them again, I’d give a feminist speech about how I can pay my own way, thank you. That usually worked and I felt that helped them save money to take out another woman who may actually be interested. Admittedly tho most of my first a…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 01:41 PM
9

Right, my husband does split parenting responsibilities but he was still not the pregnant, birthing, or breastfeeding parent. With all he does, I’m still the primary parent. How are we supposed to trust that men who haven’t bothered to find careers or get an education are going to be “go-getters” as a husband or father? I’m sorry but if you haven’t been responsible enough with building your own life and supporting yourself - I’m not interested in supporting you nor do I believe you’ll truly step…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 01:31 PM
9

Bullshit women want more than we are offering. Your whole post is about it being unfair women expect providers. You’ve gotta be kidding me. Women create families, we work and provide, we are the primary parents and do most of the housework, etc. No, hypergamy is also across. If I’m educated and employed - I want similar in a partner, thanks. A woman shunning a man hurts him in his career - don’t agree. Also, not my responsibility. Anti male bias is directly a result of women being treated as you…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 12:41 PM
7

So men don’t want to be providers now? Honestly the amount of men on this subreddit who want to have their cake and eat it too in terms of sex, dating, financial abortion of unwanted children, and now being man children is baffling. Women get pregnant, birth babies, breastfeed, are generally the primary parents, are providers too in this day and age - what are men bringing to the table if you’re gonna be NEET? We are supposed to double down as homemakers and providers while y’all do what exactly…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 12:36 PM
1

Oh good. I’m so glad he reassured me he’s not just looking for hookups or to chase skirts while he looks for a wife. Men NEVER lie to get into ladies’ pants 🙄. Love on a first date? No. Sex is an intimate act that should be done when both parties are ready. Why does it not even need to be good? Your whole post is about wanting to check sexual chemistry because it’s important for long term health of a relationship. You want genuine passion as you say. But it doesn’t even need to be good? Why woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 09:53 PM
2

The engagement timeline thing - This is such as excellent point.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 07:39 PM
1

So I know you don’t want my response because I’ve never had sex the first time meeting/going on a date with someone - but I’m gonna give it anyway. No! Your statement about it being clear he isn’t just looking for hookups - isn’t a valid one. He literally is. Your explanation for why he wants immediate sex but also wants something long term, is bullshit. If he really enjoyed spending time with someone, then he could wait a few dates to a month or two to have sex. Sex is important in a relationsh…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 07:35 PM
–

Do you consider me a “starter” girlfriend who you intend to discard and lie to? Are you concerned you are using deceit to up my body count which makes me less desirable to men who might want me as a wife? Then yes you’d be using me as a hole (in my view, not all women desire as much connection as I do for sex BUT you wouldn’t have to lie to these women so moot point). Giving me an orgasm does not make up for this. I was bullied too in school. Maybe not as bad but I got made fun of for being too …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 04:54 PM
2

I hope you find whatever you need to heal.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 04:46 PM
–

The first sentence I was saying I’m not sure I believe you - not that I expect the world to be fair. Women can be monsters but so can men. And I call it imagined because, as I pointed out, sex isn’t pie. You aren’t entitled to women’s bodies on the same timeline as they provided it to someone else. If you told me you were lied to, cheated on, abused - I would’ve validated that. You haven’t shared anything other than angry statements that women should fuck all men equally to be fair and gone on a…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 04:43 PM
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Yes, but you are attempting to coerce them with your proposed approach. Hence controlling. I guess I see your point about multiple being better from the perspective of not feeling like you had that. But see it from my perspective for a second - plenty of men have wanted my body/me for sex. Like tons and I’m super average (cute face, killer legs, skinny, no boobs or butt). Men wanting to use me as a hole is not validating. Only one man wanting me as a partner is. I see - that’s interesting and fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 04:34 PM
2

You know, if my husband knew how many unsolicited blow jobs he gets because I come on Reddit and read shit like your comments from men like you - he’d owe you all thank you cards. All of Redpill/incel world just reminds me how lucky I am even when we have our issues. We aren’t perfect, either one of us - but God are there garbage people out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 04:29 PM
–

Something tells me that hourglass Stacy women have better options than a misogynist - but 🤷‍♀️. I wouldn’t touch someone like you with a ten foot pole. I don’t think you’ve healed from whatever imagined offense you’ve experienced from women. But that’s ok - not sure I’ve fully healed from men lying, using, and cheating - even tho my husband is amazing, I’ve been with him over a decade, and he makes me feel respected. So I guess - if you are fucking Stacy women - that hasn’t fully healed you eith…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 04:25 PM
–

That’s not an admirable or helpful solution.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 04:20 PM
1

I’m not crying - I’m pointing out to you that you view women as not human. This won’t help you in the dating world.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 04:19 PM
–

Read my other comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 04:17 PM
1

Make it worth living.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 04:16 PM
–

Your flair cuts off. I have no idea what it says fyi. And your whole second paragraph above sounds like a struggle. wtf else was I supposed to think?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 04:15 PM
–

Holy shit I just spent like 15 mins responding to you, hit the wrong button and it got deleted. Here we go again: You are not being empathetic or safe you are pretending to be. Hopefully you won’t actually do this to someone you care about. Feeling that women’s affection should be yours is entitled and controlling. If it wasn’t about bodies, you’d be happy to have one woman who desires you. This is an attempt to be equal to the men you’re jealous of and punish women you see as having punished yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 04:12 PM
–

Why is that your dating pool? Sounds like you go for toxic women. Also maybe you’re showing red flags and scaring women off. We aren’t required to give our bodies to anyone we don’t feel comfortable with. You are very entitled. Don’t have unprotected sex then if you’re with a woman you can’t trust or you don’t wanna risk babies with. Do not get me started on the topic of child support - because you will lose. It’s YOUR choice to protect yourself and if you forego that choice, well biology made s…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 03:35 PM
–

Sex and relationships aren’t about being fair. It’s not pie we are dividing. The idea that women have to adhere to what you consider “fair” with access to their bodies is extremely immature and frankly, irrelevant. I’m married to an average man (and I’m an average woman) and I would never treat him as if his needs didn’t matter. He loves and respect me and gets that (and lots of bjs and sex) in return. This how average women are treated in dating - used for our bodies with men lying and cheating…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 03:23 PM
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Please don’t listen to this poster encouraging death. He is not someone to take life advice from. Please seek help if this ever crosses your mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 03:20 PM
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You actually just encouraged someone that death is the answer. This doesn’t give you insight into what might be going wrong with your making relationships? You don’t talk about women or OP as humans.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 03:20 PM
–

Well at least you know you’re not a good person for it. I still think you’d have more luck working on actually being a worthwhile partner (not a lying cheating one) and learning how to see women as people. No, you’re not thinking about needs correctly. It’s not that women don’t care about your needs - it’s that we only care about the needs of men we know personally and connect with. Am I supposed to go sleeping with every virgin man or man who just wants sex to “care about his needs”? No. You’re…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 03:09 PM
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You sound like a sociopath. “I want what I want and lying with the purpose of getting what I want without care for others’ feelings or desires for their body is perfectly fine as long as I get what I want”.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 02:52 PM
–

So because you are unhappy and want something different, it’s perfectly fine to lie and manipulate women into using their bodies cause you THINK you need to fuck lots of women so you can have more sex than your friends? Women are people for fucks sake. Because you feel emasculated you get to make women feel used and discarded? Why are your needs more important than theirs? Our bodies do not belong to you. You are all about YOU and this is your primary problem in finding partners. Start seeing wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 02:48 PM
2

Loved reading this. Thank you for taking the time to write it out. No notes. Good luck in dating/relationships/marriage. I don’t know your current situation but don’t settle for being a placeholder - you have too much emotional intelligence to waste on that. Many women do value stable and emotionally intelligent men - and also want them physically. Everyone is different but I feel less inhibited and more excited about intimacy with a safe partner. I understand not wanting to be settled for but w…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 08:05 PM
1

Good luck with studying and thanks for the debate. The banter is what I come here for.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 05:12 PM
1

I have a very high libido but I was not having sex with someone on a first date (or even in the two years before meeting my husband). I agree couples should have to be compatible but expecting equal treatment like all relationships are the same, is immature. You’re not focused on whether this person is good for you and compatible - you’re comparing (imagining really cause you don’t know everything) to some other guy. Flip it around with just sex. Say you wait for Sally. You take her out for thre…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 04:54 PM
8

That’s a laughable take. I’m misandrist because I expect men to take accountability for their actions? Grow the fuck up bro. My position on abortion is vague - I am pro-choice. I am not pro men can force women to do anything with their bodies including taking a pregnancy to term or abortion. However, I do not think abortion is a positive thing to do and should be avoided in most cases. I do not judge, because I am privileged and many aren’t. Adults should take steps to prevent unwanted pregnancy…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 04:19 PM
1

Look at it this way. Let’s say we go out a few times - 3 dates. By your logic, I should expect that you spend the exact same amount of money on me as previous women you’ve been on 3 dates with. Sally got lobster date 2? Me too. You went to them instead of making them come to you? Well you better come to me. You sent Sally an uber to pick her up? Where’s my uber? You put effort and thoughtfulness into a fun and creative date with Sally for date 3? Well then you better do something fun and creativ…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 04:15 PM
1

It absolutely does. And it’s highly insulting to women that because we felt safe in one situation with one man, we now owe all men intimacy on that timeline in men’s view. You’re not all the same. We aren’t the same throughout our lives. Your refusal to see and acknowledge that is immature. Hard stop.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 03:39 PM
1

If a man isn’t comfortable with my sexual history, of course that’s fine. Just like I’m allowed to write a man off for his sexual history. What is not okay, which is what I took your earlier argument for, is men expecting sex on the same timeline or with the same type of relationship as previous men. All relationships are different and people want different things at different times. I wouldn’t be insulting a guy I dated for a month just cause my husband got it that fast. For me, yes. Not everyo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 03:32 PM
1

Fooled around as in didn’t have sex but made out, handjobs, fingering, etc. Why does it matter? Do I now owe all men the same “fooling around” he got? Since one guy got some uncommitted interaction from me, now all men should get it? Even if it’s not what I want? Ten years is an excessive example. What do you mean by “if she wanted to have fun first, and settle later, it’s no good for you”. I thought you wanted her to fuck you immediately instead of determining her interest in a future? Doesn’t …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 03:15 PM
13

Dude men have a choice. Reread my first paragraph. Yes, I as a taxpayer should not have support your child with my tax dollars cause you couldn’t be bothered to wear a condom. That child doesn’t deserve to grow up in poverty with less than because you wanted to have casual sex unprotected with some woman you don’t know. Men need to take accountability for their actions. Society is drained less by women having kids they can’t support by men providing financial support.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 03:07 PM
1

Okay, so puzzle me this. With your bs gaslight. I had sex with my husband after knowing him a month. We went on about 5-6 dates and we met online (therefore had no mutual connections and were strangers before meeting). I chose to have sex with him then because he was all green flags: told his family about me, talked about our future and goals, introduced me to his friends, met my friends, etc. He showed clear seriousness and agreed to exclusivity before sex. If I hadn’t married him and resumed d…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 03:03 PM
1

They are perfect for each other then. But if you want a partner in life and someone who isn’t hopping around other people’s beds (see red pill/incel and their arguments women should be low n count because of infidelity fears) then maybe don’t write women off who don’t drop panties 1-2 date.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 02:33 PM
28

This guy gets it! Also, it’s 2025 - half our assets are mine, I earned them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 02:29 PM
11

Men have choices in reproduction: condoms, vasectomies, pulling out, oral/anal, being choosy about who they fuck (maybe ensure you truly know and trust your partner that they are using appropriate birth control), etc. Men often choose not to act on those choices. As you point out, women are living in poverty with kids WITH mandatory child support in place. Imagine the drain on society and detriment to these children if all fathers could just opt out. Don’t tell me more women would have abortions…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 02:28 PM
1

Agreed. Everyone should date who they are compatible with. But these posts telling women that we need to do put out asap in order to prove our attraction and put the man’s needs first (see a similar post yesterday posted by a man) are extremely entitled. Comments about how men bring their wallets to dates, what do women bring? Comments acting like we owe you sex cause you paid for some cheap date at a bar otherwise we are using you don’t value your time/money - is all sick. Dating is not prostit…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 02:23 PM
1

I don’t know how to answer that because when I was younger, sometimes you “chilled” or “hung out” - not went on dates cause we were young and had no money. Or we went to a party together in college campus - or to the food hall together. Do these count as dates? I don’t even know. The best way i can answer this is the shortest amount of time I ever knew a man before having sex with him (like actual intercourse not make out/second base) was a month of knowing one another. That was with my husband,…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 02:15 PM
1

Never happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 02:10 PM
3

I’m not a liar and certainly wouldn’t lie to the man I’m spending my life with. I don’t think most people want to lie - and frankly women shouldn’t have to. We shouldn’t be shamed for it. But sleeping with some random hot guy would not be worth lying to my future husband over. And sleeping with some guy because it’s what he wants and he thinks what he wants is more important than what I want, is certainly not worth lying to my future husband either.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 05:10 AM
4

It’s not at all irrelevant. Fear of consequences controls behavior at times. When you get angry and want to beat a guy up - do you do it? Probably not. Because you’d get arrested, maybe fired, social implications, etc. Knowing there will be consequences for actions reels impulses in. Unless you have an impulse control disorder.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 05:08 AM
2

Disagree. Women get judged for having high n counts. Most men don’t see easy women as marriage material. We all know if you want a better selection of long term partners, you need to keep your n count down. Which is exactly why I didn’t sleep around - despite often wanting to - while single. I knew I’d have to look for a husband with that number.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 05:06 AM
4

Men who don’t care about me would be using me. Yes, that is dehumanizing - exactly. My desire to be cared for and respected is more important than a man’s interest in being laid. Hard stop. It’s not about value, why should I cheapen myself for your pleasure? Edit: you didn’t answer my question from my last post. But we all know the answer is yes. You would use me. You would not care about my wants/needs despite your complaint that women aren’t caring about men’s needs for instant intimacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 05:02 AM
2

Sounds like shitty advice. Tell guys they are shooting themselves in the foot by whining they are getting “used” for dates when women don’t hop into bed with them on the first date. The guy I wanted waited for me and now we are married. Glad I didn’t sleep with any of the other guys I met online. The advice we should give ladies in dating (if they want relationships) is to be discerning and not hopping into bed in hopes of locking a man down. That only helps men get laid and women get used.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 05:00 AM
2

I’m not saying women should make sex hard for men who they are already in a relationship with. But in the beginning, if a man really likes you and wants you for more than sex, he will wait. Especially if they have other options for sex and their ego can take the hit of not sleeping with you. The women who will bring you peace are the ones who aren’t hopping into bed with every hot guy who comes around. The woman who you truly connect with, who gets you, who you have more with than just physical …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 04:01 AM
7

Nope I don’t agree. Give men sex and they get bored and move on. A man who is truly into me will wait especially if he has other options for getting his rocks off. Look at King Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn. King Henry could have any mistress he wanted - he was king! Anne wouldn’t fuck him. She wanted to be queen. Granted he did want an heir which required a new queen but by your argument he would’ve chosen a mistress he was already fucking or was already pregnant. He wanted Anne. Why? She said No.…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 02:20 AM
2

I’m 0% surprised. Though it happened to me when I was young and dumb. I’m married now to a man who loves and respects me so I don’t need to get used to the fact that men lie for sex. If we ever divorced or I was widowed - I’m pretty sure I’d stick with my vibrator. I have a high sex drive but dating sucked and at my age I’m not interested in going back to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 02:15 AM
2

💯
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 02:13 AM
1

I read your first paragraph and started to get angry because it seemed to be an argument that women should be putting out early (despite their comfort) to prove to men our “enthusiasm” - but then I kept reading and feel you’ve actually nailed the whole thing. You get it. Both sides. Men have a right to feel wanted in their relationship and women have a right to feel safe and respected. Finding if attraction is present along with compatibility can take time. Problem I see here is men complain tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 02:11 AM
3

Nah high value men who truly are interested in you will wait. For the exact reason you stated. They can get sex easily from other women so they aren’t hung up on not getting it from you. If they believe you are what they want (especially if they value low n count for a relationship) they will wait.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 01:50 AM
1

Lying and manipulating to get access to a woman’s body is sick and disgusting behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 01:49 AM
3

I am far more likely to get used from casual sex than to find someone who I have a connection to, then who is willing to be exclusive with me and marry me. Why should women just allow themselves to be used repeatedly to make men happy? Would you turn me down for sex if you were very attracted to me physically but you didn’t think we are compatible long term while also knowing I was looking for marriage and commitment? Let me rephrase, would you turn me down for sex if 1)you were very physically …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 01:45 AM
3

How do you explain people married or in committed relationships? We don’t just go around fucking every person we are attracted to. We exercise self-control and single folks do this as well!
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 01:39 AM
3

This is literally not at all the same thing. Most people don’t regret eating some extra cookies or fast food even if it isn’t good for them. Having someone penetrate you who doesn’t care about you is a much bigger deal. I’m genetically skinny and don’t eat healthy. Itll catch up to me in the cholesterol dept if I don’t change but I’ve never felt less than for eating. Felt plenty less than when I’ve found out men were just using me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 01:37 AM
4

What?! No. I was celibate for two years before meeting my husband. I have a high sex drive but I wasn’t looking to sleep around and therefore made that choice. Totally worth it to keep jerks who wanted to use me as a hole out of my body.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 01:30 AM
3

💯
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 01:29 AM
2

Maybe I just don’t want no strings attached sex. Which I didn’t, been with my husband 11 years, no dead bedroom. Wanting only men who respect me/care for me inside me is absolutely more important to me than your “time” or what your body wants. Your desire for sex (some guy I just met) should be more important to me than what I’m comfortable with intimacy wise? No. How fucking entitled. We aren’t allowed to learn from mistakes we made while younger?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/25 01:27 AM
1

Honestly, your last paragraph is the only thing that truly makes sense in your whole rant. Men are jealous women have made progress in society and we have powers in society we never had in the patriarchy before. Men are mourning their loss of power over women. This isn’t admirable - you controlled us for generations and told us what our lives could be. Now you hate us that things have changed. We all have trouble in the dating market at times. I was single for a lot of time before meeting my hus…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 04:28 PM
1

I’m sorry can you clarify “redeemable”? And do men need to be “redeemed”?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 04:08 PM
–

My point tho is that most women do not look to continue having only casual sex for their entire life - most eventually want marriage/ltr. Therefore, promiscuous women are shamed. They are seen as not wife material and put in a “just for fun” category. This plays into OP’s question about why women don’t do “pity sex” - why would we up our n count and deal with the social fallout for a man we aren’t excited about? Men and women do not see n count the same, I’d agree. In my case though, I didn’t do…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 03:54 PM
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Yes but most of us want relationships eventually. Unlike men we need to watch our numbers (altho I didn’t like high n count men while dating, it’s still more socially acceptable). Of course men who want easy access to sex don’t care if a woman has a high count - in fact it’s better for them cause they are more likely to get it too and quickly/easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 03:35 PM
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Agree, women get judged more the higher their body count. Therefore, most of us would not be open to adding to the count with men we aren’t enthusiastic about having sex with. Hence, being a woman who has multiple partners that are “shy” just isn’t worth the social fallout. Men get high fived for the number of women they lay - regardless of the type of woman. The college guy you describe is likely “the man” to his friends as many women come to him and he gets sex with them. They probably think h…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/25 03:32 PM
1

Just because you don’t value my need for respect, doesn’t mean I don’t. You can’t possibly believe that investment of time and money for dating means we owe you sex. If you do, that is an entitled view point. Money/time lost is not an equal insult of a man using a woman’s body who doesn’t care for her or respect her.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 05:57 PM
1

Half of Gen Z is still underage. 1997-2012. So I’m right to be careful in what I share. Being respectful of one another’s wishes in a relationship is important but men are still not entitled to a woman’s body. We don’t have to provide sex because the man wishes it. Especially when there is no relationship to speak of, just dates and no exclusivity. Non - exclusivity also raises the risk of stds. While I semi-agree to a point that having vastly different expectations could make someone wary - the…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/25 01:02 AM
1

Ah does make it more difficult. Sometimes love is worth it though. Or she just figured she could have fun with you because of the distance and knew it wouldn’t be anything serious. You didn’t have the opportunity for more so she settled for sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 09:11 PM
1

Why didn’t you continue with her? Explain that. Certainly sounds like she was into you. Although admittedly someone like this would turn me off as they are clearly being deceitful. Again, you’ve admitted you do to women, what you complain women do to you. You sleep with women you aren’t actually attracted to or want because they make it available - yet you get mad when women you want string you along. Same deal different act. Those women are likely just trying to see if they like you - but to us…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 08:57 PM
1

No, it’s not my fault you made it out to sound like you were cheating without giving more information. Most of society is monogamous - you can’t act like your situation is default. I never said any of paragraph two but go off. Cool. Tell your buddies to love them too. Maybe one day society will change. Until then, women with high n counts have less opportunities for long term relationships with high quality men. 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 08:54 PM
1

That’s their right to feel however they want. Especially with online dating, you should have an idea of what they want. Granted men lied all the time about their intentions online - so I’m sure women too but women are more likely to want relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 08:52 PM
1

Don’t believe me then 🤷‍♀️. Pretend all relationships are the same and be bitter your partner had more sex, earlier sex, or wild sex with someone else. Free country. One example - I had sex with my husband after a month of dating, which is the least amount of time I ever knew a man before sex. If we didn’t marry and I continued dating - now I owe every guy I go out with sex by one month? No. My husband showed signs of being serious early on - he told his family about me, introduced me to his fri…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 07:17 PM
1

Dude re read all of this when you’re a bit older and you’ll fully understand why you’re single. Your views on women and dating are disrespectful. Everyone is valuable in a relationship and shouldn’t be treated as less than they treat their partner whether they are a former sex worker or high n count or whatever. I’m done peace. ✌️
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 07:11 PM
1

Your relationship isn’t a side topic if you bring it up - which you did. If you didn’t like the cheating comment - then you shouldn’t have phrased it as you are sleeping with a woman tonight who knows you have a gf. You should’ve included the info that this is an agreement between all parties, it’s not my fault I jumped to that given the info at hand. Is it an issue to not want my body used? That’s a negative trait for me? Okay agree to disagree here. The thread it about women being able to show…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 07:06 PM
1

I’m feisty - I don’t mind arguing lol. I hope everything goes well for you too.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 06:28 PM
2

Yeah I’m not teaching my son any of that bullshit. Your position is entirely entitled. I plan to teach him to be respectful of himself and others. That sex is an intimate act and you should respect yourself and who you are doing it with. I actually wrote out personal examples to make a point - but then deleted it realizing if you are gen Z, there’s a high likelihood you’re still underage or very young. Unless you’re older gen z like 25-26. I’m not comfortable talking directly to you about person…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 06:26 PM
2

Yes, agree the best debates are ones where common ground is reached. Arguing with anyone too far gone on one side is really just depressing. Like when I get into it with a man who just clearly hates women and has eaten up the whole manosphere script. Interesting our conversation began with you asking me if I was okay and is now ending with my concern for your well being. I am more or less who I present - just harsher about it. In real life I don’t have these types of conversations much. I also d…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 06:10 PM
1

Even if that’s true - it’s a lesser insult (and happens less frequently) than a man using a woman for her body.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 06:05 PM
1

And women see it as men using them for their bodies. I’m sorry but I will NEVER see men being “used” for their time and resources as akin to women being used for their bodies. One is a much greater and more personal insult. Women aren’t going to keep you around if they aren’t interested. There’s nothing wrong with taking it slow and getting to know one another - when you’re looking for relationships and not hookups as is OPs point and the center of this debate.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 06:00 PM
1

I hope I haven’t triggered you. I come to Reddit because debating is fun. I tend to get passionate about view points but I don’t mean to hurt. I’m generally a better person in real life than on Reddit. Maybe I should get off Reddit. Are you safe at present? You know how to get help if needed?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 05:58 PM
1

What do you mean by “you don’t want to live like this anymore”? First therapy sessions are generally about setting goals for what you want to accomplish in therapy, introducing yourself, and checking for safety.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 05:43 PM
1

Holy shit dude I’ve told you like ten times already. We bring the possibility of a partner. Which should be sufficient if that’s why you are dating and if it is not, then OPs point stands. The idea that we need to give you our bodies because you brought your wallet to a date is fucking sickening. Get a prostitute. Women who go out with you aren’t prostitutes. We are people. It’s honestly sick and this is the whole reason I rarely let men pay for dates. This absolute bullshit that I’m for sale an…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 05:39 PM
1

🤷‍♀️. It’s an entitled view. One that ignores various dynamics and allows for women to continually be used for men’s pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 05:34 PM
1

Hun you’re 21. We’ve clearly had different life experiences - but you can’t tell me the world doesn’t work the way I see it when I’m almost twice your age. Being a good person is subjective.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 05:32 PM
1

It’s not. That’s a view of entitlement. You are not entitled to a woman’s body because of how another man got it. At not point in my last comment, did I make your point.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 05:10 PM
1

Men ruin it for other men too. I have similar stories. Let’s just agree - some people are shitty.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 05:09 PM
1

I hope it ends better in the future. But maybe don’t write off women who don’t drop their panties on date one.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 04:04 PM
1

You did not share with me that the woman you love is being abused and cannot leave her situation. I agree that slut shaming is rooted in insecurity, doesn’t mean it’s not a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 03:59 PM
1

First paragraph - that should be my priority? A man’s feeling of sexual value over what I want for MY body? No. Why would I know what he spent financially and why would I care? Men do get used at times/not used but if they go out with a lot of women and are expected to pay, it can be a lot. Why would I judge a man who is choosing less expensive dates in the beginning maybe after being burned? Or realizing it isn’t financially responsible to be spending on first dates? I’m much more concerned wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 03:55 PM
1

Yeah but I’d argue more women would want to do that sort of behavior if society accepted women’s sexuality. Non abused women included. It’s ingrained into me that I shouldn’t allow my body to be used by men - but I’m very sexual and definitely feel it’s a shitty double standard men get to explore and are high fived but women are judged and have to curb that behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 03:49 PM
1

I don’t understand how this comment relates to what I’ve commented. If I, as a woman, had slept with even 1/3 of the people you have - I’d be an instant slut. Unless I was like 50 years old then maybe 1/3 of your number would be considered respectable.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 03:47 PM
1

How would you KNOW that is the nature of their relationship? And even if it was, people don’t have to do things the same every time. What if she realized men were using her when she did that and now wants to wait? What if she regrets it? What if she knew that attractive guy wasn’t worth a relationship or any of her time but she wanted him sexually? I just can’t wrap my head around the idea that sex should be fair like cookies. Every relationship is different.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 03:43 PM
2

Eh no there have been men I wanted for sex but not relationships (I rarely acted on this except in one case with a friend of 2+ years). These guys weren’t relationship material or were cheaters but were hot and would’ve been fun. Yes, agree on your last point.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 03:37 PM
1

Women do not have infinite options, you’re funny. We have almost infinite options of men who will use us for a fuck - but men who actually care for and respect us and are compatible - that’s a unicorn. Your friends envy your attractiveness and the ease at which you have female options - certainly sounds like you are living the Redpill/incel dream Mr. Chad. Figure out how you feel/what you want and don’t rest till you find that. Don’t settle. You don’t deserve to be a side dude if that’s not what…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 03:36 PM
2

Sometimes we think men care/respect us, but they are lying. 🤥
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 03:28 PM
2

Men don’t respect women they fuck right away by and large. Sure there are exceptions but this is generally the truth.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 03:18 PM
1

If you want to be the side dude, then that will continue. If you want to choose something different, then do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 03:17 PM
1

How am I hurting you? You are sleeping with at least two women right now, why do you care about my view? You’ve said you’ve enjoyed many women and they’ve been happy about it. If you are in a polyamorous relationship - or an open one - then our whole argument is pointless. I respect that. It’s your joint choice and you both have freedoms. It’s not the situation tho that was the focus of the whole debate. As long as your partners are content to have an open relationship, have at it. I made men wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 03:16 PM
1

Owning it is the first step.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 03:08 PM
1

We can agree on no one liking accountability. I’d extend that to responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 02:59 PM
1

You’re going to hurt me? Stand up man you are. I’m done going back and forth. I feel badly for your girlfriend unless she is also to go have sex with who she wants. You don’t value traditional relationships and your only focus is sex with women - and a lot of women. This is exactly what op means. You’re not looking for a wife/monogamy - you’re looking for easy sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 02:49 PM
2

You’re a cheater. You use women. You are exactly the type of man OP describes.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 01:50 PM
2

Im not putting words in your mouth, read your first sentence. I’m in an 11 year long committed relationship where I have sex with my husband every chance I get, yet I made him wait initially till I was sure he was serious about me. Women are more sexual in relationships where they feel safe. And women have been repeatedly used so we are naturally cautious about such a thing. It’s an extremely common problem (much more common than someone marrying someone they were never actually attracted to - c…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 01:48 PM
1

Yes, men have used women for all of time but now that the script is being flipped (I’d argue it’s not and that’s in your head but w/e), it’s unfair. We shouldn’t have to hide it if society accepted our sexuality. It doesn’t. You make my point by suggesting we need to make sure our partner doesn’t know about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:43 PM
1

I’m far from puritanical - ask my husband and other partners I’ve had before him. We absolutely do, and I’ve been upvoted so I’m not alone in this view. Look all around Redpill and incel territory. Virgins fetch the highest price, followed by low n count women. The more men you’ve slept with, the less men think you’re wife material.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:40 PM
3

Why would you want me to only want you for sex? I agree couples should want each other for sex - but not only. This whole comment proves mine and OPs point. You don’t want a relationship with someone you’re compatible with, you want a hookup. K well many women still want you to respect and care for them before they give you their bodies. I don’t see why men wanting sex first is more important than that. It’s always what men want - men should always be able to have their cake and eat it too.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:38 PM
2

And those relationships didn’t work out…Maybe the focus on finding a partner should be on other things. Plus I’m getting upvoted for my comments, so people agree. I’m not saying no one gets married off of a one night stand - but OP is still correct, you’re looking for hookups. Just say that. If you’re truly looking for someone long term, then you’re dumb to write off a woman who wants to wait.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:35 PM
5

I like debating and it’s a free country. Hence my presence in purplepill debate. Yes, married but haven’t forgotten how awful the dating market was and how disrespectful men are of women. How entitled they feel to us. I don’t like the trend in this country for my fellow women nor do I want my son to grow up and hear this Redpill incel nonsense. Women are people, and judging from many men on here, we aren’t viewed as such.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:32 PM
2

She’s letting men value her for her body - my point. She should just continue to let every man she ever sees use her? Once one guy had it easy, every guy should have it easy? I don’t understand men who think like this. It’s not pie we are dividing. Dating is about getting to know someone as a partner. If you are truly looking for a wife/relationship - you’re focus should be on a variety of things not how fast someone else got it. You are not entitled - EVER regardless of past behavior. OP is 100…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:29 PM
4

This has been disproven by studies. Men are more socially encouraged to display higher sex drives while women are shamed.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:25 PM
1

Bullshit - I have plenty of girlfriends and none of them wanted men who use them. Wed regularly remind each other not to fuck guys before commitment because they will likely just use us. Stop acting like just because a woman isn’t a virgin she should fuck everyone equally. OP is correct, you’re all looking for hookups and sexual validation. Not focused on looking for relationships/wife etc. Just be up front and say that’s what you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:24 PM
2

It’s not at all. People have different relationships with different people. Maybe you have more red flags than someone else and so they wait. You aren’t entitled to someone’s body at the same rate (or ever) just cause someone else got it. It’s not about “fairness” it’s about developing relationships. OP is correct, you don’t want an ltr, you want a hookup. Stop playing like you don’t. You want sex asap and don’t want the “investment” of dating to see if someone is compatible for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:21 PM
1

Gross. Everything about your view on women and dating is just gross. We are worthless if we’ve enjoyed our sexuality. Virgins fetch the highest price - again just gross. If you feel that the only thing a woman can bring to a date is her lady parts - you deserve to be alone. You don’t view woman as people. Just get a prostitute for fucks sake and leave us collectively alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:19 PM
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I didn’t put out on a third date ever. Including with my husband, who I was clearly very interested in. Men absolutely still judge on n counts. I know my husband wouldn’t have been with me if we didn’t have similar numbers. I don’t want a man who has been with dozens, so I can’t have those numbers.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 04:36 AM
2

You bring nothing to dates. Women don’t need your money. You want a prostitute not a date. You just prove OPs point over and over again.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 04:30 AM
2

Yes, then have to deal with the consequences - like not being wife material.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 03:35 AM
2

Girls are very sexual, I personally have a high libido. But society doesn’t allow us to be. I don’t need to text my partner - he’s in the same house. I like debating. Women can be sexual but not be jumping down a man’s pants right away.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 03:32 AM
3

Because you’re mad that you don’t get sex as easy as Chad. You pointed out that Chad wouldn’t even have to buy ice cream. That’s a pretty cheap date so you’re pretty bitter. Men are not more desired with high body counts. I wanted a man with experience but men with dozens of partners is gross. Ah yes the bullshit bio argument for why men should be able to have their cake and eat it too. If you want a guaranteed investment, get a prostitute. It’s not that money isn’t important - it’s that I’m not…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 03:30 AM
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💯
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 03:23 AM
1

Perfectly fine. Happily married. Like to debate. Hence purplepill.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 03:18 AM
1

Got it - so the women throwing themselves at you and blowing you on date 2, you just aren’t attracted to them. But you’re perfectly willing to let them blow you/fuck you even tho you aren’t interested in them? Sounds like you’re doing the same to them that the women you are interested in who “use” you for dates but don’t give sex, are doing to you!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 03:15 AM
2

I’m aware you’re not a Chad. Reread what I wrote. Men shouldn’t have body counts like that either - women and med should be able to be equal in this but they can’t because of how society views women. Men get to explore their sexuality, women are shamed. None of your comments sound mature. If you can’t afford $100-$300 for a date ($300?!? Really), then you shouldn’t spend that. I have friends who make half a million a year and they wouldn’t spend that on a date. Even if they did, it wouldn’t matt…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 03:13 AM
1

I’m sorry you aren’t a Chad. Can’t fix that for you. Why are you spending so much money on a date if you need to work 2-3 jobs to replace it?! Sounds like you are spending way above your means which is a whole other red flag. Yes, body count matters. Because it matters to society. Women are judged and considered not wife material if they have too much experience. Once a guy was added on my bedpost, there were less men who would think of me as wife material. Once I had 3, then men who wouldn’t to…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 02:31 AM
3

Actually your whole second paragraph makes a good point. Men expecting bjs on 2nd dates and sex right away probably aren’t worth the women who wait anyway - so it’s probably for both their benefit. It’s just the whole outlook of men who think they deserve access to women’s bodies right away so they don’t waste their time/money - is angering. You can’t buy me. Most prostitutes get more than what a few dates cost. Plus time/money isn’t the same investment as allowing a man to enter my body. How th…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 02:25 AM
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I’m not watching any videos. I talk to real people and women aren’t wasting their time with men they aren’t interested in. Women who genuinely like you would go out for ice cream. You can always work for more money. I cant get you off my bedpost once you are on there. Again, if you want to buy sex, get a prostitute. Women bring plenty to a relationship beyond sex - or they should and if they aren’t, you’re dating the wrong people. Plus people make videos to get followers and to rile ppl up.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 02:19 AM
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“Owe”? For a date? This is exactly why I always offered to pay my half, so men didn’t have this entitled view of me owing them anything. What I bring to the date is myself and the opportunity for a partner in life if we click. No, being used for money (which isn’t even what is happening, we are just dating) is not anywhere near the level of insult as being used for your body. Gender irrelevant. It’s disgusting you don’t see that. Correct I am saying that most women are not going out with you on …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 02:06 AM
3

Then why not marry them? Hasn’t worked out, my point.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 01:58 AM
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I’m ignoring all of the first part of your post because it’s not at all what we are discussing and there are similar points with men. Plus a lot of this is nonsense - I don’t dress like a teenager. We take all your money on dates so we owe you sex? Just get a prostitute. You are not justified to lie to women to get sex because you’ve spent money/time. Men getting “used” for dates is not the same insult as women getting used for their bodies. On any level. Plus women won’t continue seeing you if …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 01:53 AM
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I’m pointing out that he’s likely missing out on good partners because he’s writing off women who make him wait - assuming they have no interest. Yet he has a very high n count and hasn’t settled down because apparently he can’t find any he likes who like him. Maybe a different approach to dating is warranted. It makes me angry that men want to use women and have the nerve to be “insulted” they don’t get access to her body cause they’ve “invested” in a few dates. Get a prostitute. They even get …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 01:49 AM
1

K that was never my style for any guy. This has nothing to do with the argument I’m having with the other poster.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 01:46 AM
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How are they going to “find out”? Men don’t seem to understand how important it is for women to be valued for other aspects of us than our bodies. Sex isnt a reward. No one has a valid argument to be upset they didn’t get access to someone else’s body. Wow men have a warped view on intimacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 01:39 AM
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Because the investment of time and money is not equivalent to the investment of giving someone your body. This argument from men makes my blood boil. Unless you’re flying her to Greece date 1, sit down. You buying me an app in a bar and spending an hour is not the equivalent investment of sex. Who says other men got it easier?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 01:28 AM
2

I’m sorry, cheating is never good. Glad to see one redpiller not hung up on n count. My personal belief is that men and women should both care about who they get sexual with - but fairness between how genders are viewed is important to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 01:26 AM
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I agree with you here except we aren’t “sluts” if you are not also sluts. Women have high sex drives and are very sexual - which many men from redpill wont admit. Most think men have higher libidos by default. We want sex with men but society has ingrained in us that we are dirty for wanting that so generally we want ltrs where we can let loose. Society has a long way to go before women have the same sexual freedom as men.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 01:18 AM
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Dude you’re just bragging about your high n count because it’s cool for men to have that. If I claimed to be even at 10 - you’d call me a slut. You’re fooling yourself if you think most of these women didn’t “do you for the grins”.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 01:12 AM
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Yeah, that tells me all I need to know. Maybe stop expecting blow jobs on date 2 and throwing out all other women and you’ll find a wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 01:06 AM
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Nope! Most certainly does not.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 01:04 AM
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Glad we wouldn’t have wasted each others’ time!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 01:03 AM
4

Women get “emotionally attached” to men they have sex with. And it’s a much bigger hurt to be used for your body than to be “used” for a few dates. No, you will never convince me that your time and money are anywhere akin to the investment of access to someone’s body. Unless you’re flying her to Greece date 1, cut it with this nonsense. If you’re happy to wait for sex if it’s guaranteed - I’m slightly less annoyed but you specifically said if a woman wasn’t blowing you by date 2 you’d be out - s…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 01:02 AM
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We cannot handle the truth? This is gross. You’re saying you lie to us to get to use our bodies. We can handle the truth, we just don’t want the same things as you. So you justify lying and playing a “game” to get us into bed to use us for our bodies. Real standup man.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:57 AM
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No, sex is the only indicator YOU care about. I agree, I only gave sex to guys I really wanted but not until I had reason to believe they cared and respected me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:47 AM
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Rare? I doubt it. Where is this data that it is rare? I never had sex with men right away, regardless of attraction level. Also didn’t with many men I wanted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:45 AM
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Yes, I should allow someone who has no respect for me access to my body so you can determine if I’m good enough for a relationship and if I’m not, then you just leave me while patting yourself on the back for getting laid. Men are pigs.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:42 AM
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Take my upvote. Yes, not everyone has low standards for access to their body. Women get used all the time, judged for body counts, and told by redpill/incels that they are just pumped and dumped. While also telling other men that they are beta for being with women like that. But yet - they want us putting out early. Make it make sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:41 AM
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You’re not “the wait three months before sex guy, take it or leave it” - yeah I’m leaving that. I’m not a sex before relationships person and I’m not bending on that to make you happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:36 AM
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140 women wanted you in their life…or 134 not counting those 6? Wow you must be pretty special. I think you’re attracting more “total sluts” than you think. Especially the ones who wake up thinking you’re a mistake.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:34 AM
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I only agree with your first and last paragraphs. I’m commenting because it’s nice to see a man admit women can have high sex drives and be very sexual - like men. I see too many guys on here go on about how women don’t like sex and have lower sex drives than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:30 AM
–

Oh no?!!!?! That is SO much worse than a woman getting used for HER BODY. Let’s stop pretending men wasting time/money on dates who don’t work out is at all on the same level as that. Dating takes time and money. It’s called dating. OP is correct - you are looking for sex and if you don’t get it, then it’s a waste. You’re not seeing dating as a process to find someone special.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:26 AM
–

No, not all women. Many women want men to care and not use them. You claim to have a very high n count. Why haven’t you been able to find a single woman worth wifing out of them?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:24 AM
–

Okay but in those situations, what have you lost? Nothing really. Expecting women to be giving out to every guy they go out with just leads to women being used. You’re missing good opportunities with quality women by writing off all women who won’t fuck you by date 2.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:08 AM
–

If that’s the kinda women you like, then you do you. If you ever want something legit, than maybe rethink your game.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:06 AM
–

There are many women who would make you wait and still be attracted. These women are just trying to make sure you care for them and aren’t using them. It’s gross society is trying to force women into easy sex they will just get used for most of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/25 12:00 AM
–

I know and it’s so ingrained I would’ve felt dirty having sex with people I didn’t know.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 11:59 PM
4

Disagree. They may think that way, but it’s not the case. That’s an easy way to get used or pumped and dumped. If a man is truly interested in you as a person and respects you don’t want to sleep around - that’s the ideal. If you just hop in bed with a guy, he may keep you around for sex - but if he doesn’t see you as wife material, you aren’t getting much further. Better to not allow yourself to be used.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 11:51 PM
–

I had 5 when I met my husband at 25 (then became 6) - I don’t consider that to be high and I have a very high libido. Society judges women with high n counts so even those of us with high libidos, have to ignore our desires so we can attract a husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 11:48 PM
–

Full agree. Men are just looking for sex when they won’t continue seeing a woman they enjoy the company of if she isn’t putting out. They are probably missing out on some great women. Their loss 🤷‍♀️.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 11:44 PM
–

Gross. Who the fuck sucks your dick/fucks you on date 2? If you’re looking for a relationship, you need to put in effort. Why would women, who want you as a bf, give out that easily? We then get used because you decide we are easy or you didn’t like us and just decided to have your fun. But you write off women who make you wait until they get to know you? Makes no sense. I never slept with any guy I met online on date 1. Any guy who wrote me off for not sleeping with him before exclusivity, miss…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 11:40 PM
7

She doesn’t want children, perhaps those men decided they wanted children after all. People have different goals in life and aren’t always aligned.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 11:32 PM
13

Us older 30s ladies are still sexually attractive, she also said she doesn’t want kids. She isn’t suddenly looking for a long term partner, she had four long term relationships - she just happens to be single currently.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 11:29 PM
–

Agree. Woman here, but I got plenty of dates from online dating over a decade ago. Not 100-200+, but like 12-15 guys. Didn’t need more than that since I found my husband. Didn’t have sex with any except him tho, so my experience was different in that regard. I liked being able to screen guys for what their interests are, career, what their stated intentions were, level of education, etc. I rarely got asked on dates in real life in my time but yet got plenty of attention online and options. I wou…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/25 04:24 PM
1

Thanks for mansplaining. What would us women do without you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 12:48 PM
2

You’ve stumbled upon that most women want men that have some upside? Men too with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 03:28 AM
9

🙄, you don’t want to work - marry a provider. Yes you are so oppressed that you have options. S/
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 01:28 AM
9

So the goal is divorce? Emphasis on NEED to work - many of us WANT to work and have careers. Yes, there were certain fields women were allowed in. Many they were not. No, I have a career. Most women I know have careers. Yes teaching and nursing are careers. Am I supposed to be impressed by these numbers? Glad they are higher today. Stop spitting on the feminists who fought for women’s rights with this nonsense.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 01:18 AM
1

Absolutely magic! Forgot about those handy storks.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 11:23 PM
16

Women weren’t allowed to have careers, bank accounts, credit cards, couldnt be educated beyond a certain level, couldn’t vote, etc. Women were oppressed even if you don’t think Leave it to Beaver showed that. This is a dumb take. We have options now that women never had in the past because of brave women who fought for us to have more opportunities. Don’t insult those women and their sacrifices with a “we aren’t better off now” take.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 11:15 PM
3

Who decides if a woman has “overly high expectations”? When I was dating, I wanted a man I was attracted to, treated me well, compatible personality, had a good career/was getting educated, etc. I looked until I found this and did so successfully. I don’t think these were overly high expectations. Men on here seem to talk a lot about what they think women deserve and complain we aim too high. We get to aim for whatever we want. Not settling works out for many of us. Your last sentence, I agree w…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 08:25 PM
1

It’s not horse shit. I spent my early 20s working full time and going to college and then grad school in a major US city. I knew many many men that age through school, work, friends, etc. Sure there were a few who were reserved and didn’t do the party scene but even then, most had relationship experience. The majority wanted to party and not be tied down. A few had long term gfs. They weren’t all Chad level men. They weren’t all having wild casual sex to the level of a new partner every week - b…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/25 05:33 PM
2

I’ve also seen attractive women go for men that I would consider unattractive or at least below their level. I guess my opinion is that the redpill mindset is rarely about unattractive women. They want attractive women and while there are women who may be available, they don’t have interest in them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 05:42 PM
3

I see..so are unattractive men genuinely attracted to unattractive women? While “unattractive” is subjective - I’m going with it as you used it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 05:37 PM
6

Ah yes, men are never at fault. It’s always women.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 05:33 PM
3

Wouldn’t this also be the same for women lacking in the looks dept? Instead of being used as an atm, they’d either be used for sex or just have no options for sex/relationships. Or maybe as an ATM if they make lots of money.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 05:28 PM
10

There we go again. It’s the woman’s fault - never male accountability. Men can just have their cake and eat it too. No responsibility for them!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 05:19 PM
8

The nice guys are amazing? You date them then. The only guys ever telling me they were “nice guys” were assholes who genuinely thought they were nice but were actually controlling creeps.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 05:18 PM
2

“Weak sons” - so nice guys are weak? 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 05:17 PM
1

We are done intelligent scar, how many times do I need to tell you this? You are too far gone in your views and I refuse to engage. Stop responding to my comments. You’re miserable - we all get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 12:06 PM
1

The take it up with creator stuff is nonsense. You’re just giving yourself a free pass to something you don’t want women to have. You want it to be fine that men are promiscuous while women are not so you’re pretending it’s some hardwired nature fact like how women get pregnant.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 12:04 PM
1

Sexless? Most men are running around having casual in their early 20s and partying. Almost all the men I knew while dating had higher numbers than me. My husband and I were roughly equal. Both parties have experiences and then choose each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 12:00 PM
3

This is dumb. So by your logic if I had five partners before my husband, that makes him my 5th choice? I met him years after these partners. It’s not like he sat around waiting for me to fuck other guys, get dumped, and then pick up the pieces. He also had partners he met before me that he had sex with. Am I 6th? No, we chose to marry each other and we are each other’s number 1 choice in life. He didn’t stand at an altar and take a vow before friends and family with any of them, I didn’t bare an…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 01:19 AM
1

Nope. Men need to take a good hard look at where the “ick” comes from. Which is from societal standards for women versus men. Women are seen as lower value the more they sleep around. That’s the ick. Men fathering children with women who are clearly not pregnant when they mate has always taken away this fear. You want to make sure the kid is yours, make sure she’s not preggo before you bone her. Yes, your point about women liking masculine men holds true for me. Apples to oranges? We really aren…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 08:39 PM
1

Of course not. I don’t expect men to give birth. I don’t expect women to impregnate someone. This is not a standard that is fair. It’s just men getting to do whatever the they want while expecting women to behave how they would like. OP’s post IS about calling it out. That’s how this discussion arose.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 07:54 PM
1

They don’t but the fact that you can’t come up with one when your last argument was that it might not be a moral issue proves my point. We are viewed as property because before you even have us, we need to be planning for our future hubby. Making sure we are chaste enough to be wife material. You have fun, while we bide our time and wait till you’re done fucking around and want a wife. You want our lives to cater to yours before we’ve likely even met (or at least until you want us) not vice vers…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 07:50 PM
1

You’re just as biased as I am. I’m not saying to judge in either situation. I’m saying men who don’t hold themselves to X moral standard are just having their cake. We don’t hear women calling for men to be low n count or virginal around Redpill/purplepill anywhere near as much as men. In fact I’m regularly debating men who want women to put out on the first date who are also low n count - and for the life of these poor souls they can’t see the catch 22. Low n count women aren’t fucking you on a…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 07:40 PM
1

No, weight isn’t morality. Also - fat men prefer in shape women. Both genders do this id argue at equal levels. You need to get a better argument. Men are not held to promiscuity standards, women are. Your weight argument goes both ways and is therefore invalid whether you wanna argue whether it’s moral or not. I’m genuinely confused how you don’t see that men are holding unfair double standards. You do as you please, have your sexual exploration and fun time while you expect us hold chaste (and…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 06:46 PM
1

If you are promiscuous and do not want someone with the same behavior - it is a judgement. Come up with one non moral and non fair reason. My problem is men viewing women as property they can control. Also with men getting to whore around while women face consequences. Sure he faced “consequences” with me - but not really. Plenty of women were still sleeping with him. He just lost out on bedding one 6 when he was like a 8.5. If he regularly faced any criticism, he wouldn’t have shared as boldly …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 06:41 PM
1

No, I think everyone should date who they are happy with. I want promiscuous men to intellectually realize their desire for virginal women is holding someone to a higher morality than yourself (not true in your weight argument. It’s not morality). Recognize the hypocrisy and how it is controlling towards women. You want to be able to act how you wish but you want YOUR property untouched/barely grazed. Stop making excuses that it’s not controlling of women and a view of them as being of your owne…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 06:16 PM
1

What? That makes no sense. Femininity and masculinity aren’t moral standards. There’s nothing more to say here. I did refuse to date promiscuous men. I went out with one guy who slept with >80 women and had never had an std test. I literally laughed in his face and told him I’d never touch him. He was a little hurt but honestly, I don’t feel bad. If I were telling men that they’d be doing the same or worse. Men should get shit too. I’m married now to a man with a similar n count to mine who valu…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 05:57 PM
1

🤷‍♀️I’m not. Doesn’t seem like my problem nor my focus on this subject. Commenter below is just trying to steer the subject away from the matter at hand.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 05:51 PM
1

Firstly, you threw in that. You’re purposely trying to change the conversation from “men want to have their cake and eat it too” to “obese people are bad”. Stock to topic friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 05:51 PM
1

If he no longer wants that life and wants to settle down then, yes he should find a partner with a similar mindset. But if he has been promiscuous, then it’s a double standard to judge her for that past history. Men and women are more likely to cheat if they have past promiscuous behaviors. So your virginal bride should put up with that risk for you when she so carefully limited her sex life to be “wife material”? Think no. Promiscuous men make promiscuous women. You expect all those women - who…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 05:48 PM
1

Yes, those women also are often experienced themselves. Because behavior is controllable whereas physical attributes are not. They can’t be held to a moral standard as can behavior. That’s the logic. No, I disagree. Promiscuous men not wanting promiscuous women comes from a judgmental and controlling place. You can do whatever the fuck you want if it pleases you but your partner (who is an actual person with wants and desires) has to fit these virginal standards. It’s not at all similar to a phy…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 05:15 PM
1

No one mentioned femininity versus masculinity. Being feminine =/= virginal. It is controlling and hypocritical to judge your partner’s sexual past when you haven’t held yourself to the same standard. Yes, but it does socially inhibit our freedoms. We are shamed for it and the pool of men willing to marry us shrinks as our number grows. Yet this isn’t true for men. Double standard. We again have to fall on the proverbial sword while men get to do whatever the fuck they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 05:10 PM
1

Doesn’t make them not hypocritical and controlling partners in this instance. If men are allowed to express and explore sexuality - so should women. Besides who are you racking up your bedpost numbers with if not us? You sleeping with other men? Therefore, if men want low n count women, some women have to fall on the proverbial sword. There have to be women who have the casual sex (that men so desire) and are then willing to be judged/cast aside as not wife material by the majority of men. Not i…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 04:10 PM
0

No, this is a physical attribute preference. Many fit (and nonfit) men prefer thick ladies. If everyone is happy in the relationship, who cares. The problem is when behaviors are judged differently. Women are shamed for expressing and exploring their sexuality while men get a free pass.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 04:07 PM
15

They are adorable, they are low maintenance, they self-clean, they are affectionate, they are playful, they do not need to be walked in freezing temperatures (looking at dogs), they are warm, and they genuinely love you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 02:55 PM
0

It’s hypocritical. It’s a double standard. Men should be called on their bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 02:53 PM
6

Wow - this is a sick comment. Truly proves redpillers don’t see women as people. Just objects they should be able to control and regulate.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 02:21 PM
6

How so? You literally argue about 4s fucking 9s and then seeing a 6 as settling. I’m pointing out your numbers and how you view people’s appropriateness for one another is bs.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 02:14 PM
9

This
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 02:12 PM
4

Only your partner can determine your value, not others looking in. You might value her at a 4, but her partner who you see as 6+ might see her much differently. This whole the market decides your value shit is nonsense. People get into relationships with other individuals who make them happy. Everyone else has no right to get worked up when a 6 is with a 10. Edit to add: most men would value me at 5.5/6. Mostly cause I’m genetically skinny with no assets. But I’ve met guys who are crazy about sk…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 02:07 PM
15

I have no input. Just here to say, I love cats. If I hadn’t met my husband, I’d have definitely chosen the cat lady life.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 02:01 PM
3

We are horny too haha! Women like sex. Get better at it and you’ll see.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 01:44 PM
-1

Agreed I did not want a promiscuous man. But I do agree with OP - men who are promiscuous should not hold their partner to a different standard. If he can whore around without consequence, he can’t expect a low n count/virginal woman to want him. I don’t think OPs point was whether that type of man could get a virginal woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 01:42 PM
7

I think the best way to answer your question is the following: If I met a guy through friends, at school, or at work and didn’t feel instant attraction, I would still engage with them because the situation called for it. If something grew naturally then great! Online dating, I generally did not give more than 2 dates to see if I had attraction. Beyond that, it felt like I was leading him on. Plus women get flack for going on multiple dates with guys without putting out - using you. By date 3 mos…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 02:14 AM
1

I’ll add that RP men seem to think the only men who abuse women are Chad level attractive and that average men could not be abusers because they don’t have that kind of power with women. My abuser was average in looks and below average everything else. I’ll add abuse is also forcing sexual contact - both physically forcing and emotionally coercing (threatening breakups, cheating, refusing to speak, withholding physical affection - if they don’t get their 3rd bj of the day).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 01:58 AM
1

I didn’t see your response. I just googled reproductive coercion and according to Wikipedia it’s pretty equal amongst men and women trying to baby trap one another. The prevalence also isn’t high. In most cases, pregnancies from casual sex are unintentional. Both parties have the responsibility to prevent and if you trust one partner to do the preventing, that doesn’t eliminate your responsibility in the matter. Your story sounds like she was scattered and forgot to change out her bc. You chose …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 06:05 PM
1

There are plenty of men and women of all levels of attractiveness in happy marriages. You choose to believe every one of those is unhappy/unsexed/used because you are miserable and you’re projecting. I’m no longer going back and forth with you. I wish you to find peace for this hatred.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 01:45 PM
1

Cause you’re just making stuff up. Literally just twisting numbers to work with your warped misogyny. You hate women. No one is forcing you to be with us. Sounds like you believe we are evil and you’ve got us all figured out. So just leave us all be. It’ll be better for you and us.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 01:43 PM
1

Nah this wasn’t my experience. Men took no accountability. Dating is about getting to know one another and then deciding if you want to continue. I went out on 2-3 dates with some guys that seemed nice but then decided they weren’t for me. Why is this wrong? Was I supposed to know if I wanted to marry you date 1? That’s just dating, you put in time and effort and sometimes it doesn’t work out. It’s the way the cookie crumbles. Dude, idk maybe 8-10.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 12:17 PM
1

There we go with the made up numbers again. And no, what im saying is that both genders have varying sex drives depending on individual and that social views on sex play a factor as well. I went two years before my husband with only having sex once with an ex despite having a high sex drive. You think a man with any options would’ve chosen that? No. Because he wouldn’t have to worry about being slut shamed or deemed non wife material. People are individuals regardless of gender and many women do…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/25 04:06 AM
1

That’s a really sad outlook. I didn’t say that individuals preferences don’t change. We just look for others who want similar things to us. This changes throughout life.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 11:13 PM
1

Exactly, this wtf
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 10:58 PM
1

Yeah…I’m not going to be on board with sex with my husband as often if he isn’t putting in the effort to make me cum. He always does - and I fuck him every chance I get.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 10:40 PM
1

I agree subs of Reddit are a bit good representation of men. I literally don’t know any men in real life who think red pill/incel/misogyny crap. I am a feminist tho and like to discuss women’s issues and I also have a feistiness that lends towards debates, hence my presence. My concern tho is that young men are spending more of their lives online in these echo chambers. I have a son. He’s young and ideally I’d like all of these ideologies to disappear before he’s of age to be exposed. No, look a…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 09:59 PM
1

I do see what you’re saying and I’ll agree on all except that the men who are jealous we get sex with Chads when we should date at our level to get a relationship - these men see relationships as less than and settling. They are bitter about not being chads. They aren’t going to be my Prince Charming who cares for me and respects me just cause they view me as “on their level”. There was once a guy who came around our girls group. He liked my friend but she wasn’t interested and she introduced hi…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 09:37 PM
1

I said I was done talking to you intelligent_scar. You aren’t rooted in reality and it’s not worth it. I just posted an article looking at sex drives between genders. Read it. Be enlightened.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 05:59 PM
1

No, they were not above average. How many relationships? Like 3 long term (one was the abusive fwb one) and bunch of short term. Went out with about 15 online guys before meeting my husband. Met him at 25. We are equal in looks, income, education. You choose to view it as skewed based off of a dating app statistic. This is not real life. I couldn’t tell how attracted I was to guys from pictures unless they were like movie star hot. Mostly I went on dates with guys I considered normal to see if I…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 05:55 PM
1

I disagree. I also can’t explain it any clearer so I’m not going to try again. It’s pretty clear across this sub that women get bashed for not dating men seen as “on their level” - my point is only the partner who chose you gets to decide how valuable you are to them. Other people get my argument, because I’m getting upvoted.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 05:49 PM
1

Your last point - not at all true. See men’s subs where they talk about wife material versus casual. It is absolutely suggested that there is something wrong with us or that we’ve chosen to act in a way to make us less valuable if men want us for sex and not relationships. No one should be alone and I do have empathy for that. I see too many men tho on this sub going on about how being seen as “relationship material” is insulting and that relationships are settling. They say the woman doesn’t ac…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 05:45 PM
4

No, you’re not understanding. I date a guy. He makes me his girlfriend because HE sees my value and decides I’m on his level. He may think I’m a 8/10 whole package - looks, personality, humor, etc. His friends, think I’m 5/10 at best and he could do a lot better. Other men interested in dating me look at me and think, well I’m below him in level. I must be dating above my level and not giving guys on my level a chance. My point is only your PARTNER decides your value. Im tired of hearing women o…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 06:46 AM
1

No, you’re telling me that my situation of men attempting to/succeeding at (I have a low n count btw, not that it’s your business) using me is preferred to men who get no action. And people tell women regularly that they are or are not wife material - so just be wife material. At least when a woman is into the man, he can be relatively sure she’s not just in it for using him for his body (unless he’s a playboy Chad). I’m not unwilling to relate, I’m unwilling to accept your assertion that I shou…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 06:40 AM
1

We do experience self-doubt around desirability, it’s just a different measure. I felt incredibly insecure while dating that most men just saw me as hole they were hoping to get the chance to fuck and not as person worthy of a relationship. Your claim that we should be at least grateful and flattered that someone desires us for sex isn’t received well by women. It’s not flattering that a man wants to use me. It makes me feel less than. Like a goddamn sex doll. This is not the flex men think it i…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 06:21 AM
1

My comment makes perfect sense. You proved it in your last sentence. If you partner decided you were undeserving, then they wouldn’t be your partner. Your partner decides. It doesn’t matter if your partners friends or the general population think you are less attractive or below their level. Each individual gets to decide who is on their level. This is my point.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 05:57 AM
1

Where are you getting these numbers? I googled and got: The 80% thing is based on picture alone on dating apps. Women need more than a picture to determine attraction. While online dating, I often had no idea if I was attracted to the guy. As long as he wasn’t ugly and had other attractive factors on his profile (I.e. has a career, interests, etc.), then I gave him a try. I could not tell my attraction level based on pictures. All this stat proves is that men are more visual than women. It’s up …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/25 05:19 AM
2

I appreciate your interest in how to be a caring partner for a woman. Much better than most of the men I interact with on here.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 10:57 PM
1

🤦‍♀️- ::gestures to all of this post::
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 10:35 PM
1

No, I was never a party girl. I’m giving examples. Edited to add: I’m pointing out that people seek out individuals in similar places to them in life. Party sex focused people look for those people. Marriage interested individuals look for others like this. People who are fitness focused, look for others gym rats. I don’t agree with any of this. I’m very attracted to my husband. And sexual exploration happens with each new person. Neither of us were virgins and we wanted to be having sex so we w…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 10:33 PM
1

Seeing things that aren’t there is a sign of a mental health issue. Get help.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 10:09 PM
1

🙄. You are adding that - not me. That is true to a certain extent but it is also just as true for men. When men/women aren’t looking for marriage - then they arent looking for partners focused on marriage. Why would I date a man who wants a wife, if I just want to fuck around and party? Men do this way more than women. They want to sleep around while young and not be “tied down” and then they go looking for their wife when they’ve either been unsuccessful or are tired of it. This is just life, n…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 10:07 PM
2

No honey. You see no truth and are blinded by hate and insecurity. This is why you need help.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 09:53 PM
1

I disagree. Read all his comments. He states that women would rather be with an attractive man who is bad in bed and then claims he is one. It’s a weird flex. You don’t have to agree, but it would generally be considered as such.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 09:52 PM
1

I didn’t put my husband on the back burner ever and I don’t see women in my life who do this either. It’s amazing to me my post got downvoted. Men dont want to be the good man she loves and adores and spends her life with. They just wanna be the asshole hot guy who fucks all the pretty girls. So weird to me. Edited to add: nothing in my post suggests putting anyone on a back burner. Wtf. What you’re quoting suggests nothing relating to your “counter”. I see my husband as a prize and choose him e…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 09:29 PM
2

It is a flex cause he’s bragging about it. Why would you wanna advertise you aren’t good in bed? Even if you can get sex without being so - you don’t want your partners to enjoy themselves? You don’t want to feel skilled at sex? It’s a weird flex.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 09:27 PM
9

Yes, but only that partner can decide if you’re deserving. So much talk in here about individuals “levels” - and men (women too but less so) telling women our standards are too high and we should date them. The market as a whole doesn’t decide if you’re desirable for a specific person of any level. Only that person does.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 09:25 PM
2

Read minds? The amount of men here arguing with real women about what we think and telling us what we think, and you think we expect you to read minds! Most women are direct and clear - you just have selective listening skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 09:23 PM
–

You need help.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 09:22 PM
1

Take my upvote!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 07:40 PM
5

Sure women have never experienced heartbreak or rejection. We’ve never felt used by men for our bodies and never suffered the indignity of that. It’s just wonderful to be us! /s
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 07:37 PM
14

At the end of the day, your partner decides whether you are “deserving” of them. No one else can judge that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 07:33 PM
5

I mean, it would be sweet if my husband bought tampons and/or rubbed my back. But honestly, we get our periods every month for decades - this isn’t something I need special treatment for. I’m thankful he doesn’t whine we can’t have sex that week or demand oral (I often give it freely but it’s nice to know I’m not expected to). It’s nice when men are understanding but mostly it’s just life for us.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 07:29 PM
3

So you’re just straight up admitting you’re a selfish lover because you are attractive and don’t have to bed good in be to get women? Weird flex, but you do you.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 07:20 PM
1

We don’t choose our husbands that way! For fucks sake. Relationships are far more complicated than the hottest person and women are far less visual than men. We marry our best friends, the guys who make us cum, the good husbands, the good fathers, the non man child, etc. I’m not pining over some Chad looking dude. Women find good partners they don’t think like this. You sound Redpill, maybe rethink your moniker.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 06:57 PM
1

Her opinions are rooted in reality - woman married to a 5’10 guy who doesn’t make six figures.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 06:44 PM
1

Plenty of non attractive men abuse women. And vice versa. I know from firsthand experience. The guy I was in an abusive relationship with was average attractiveness, dropped out of hs, no job. Left him in 2008, heard he’s still single and has been since. Not a Chad. Is it my fault for staying? Yup, but it wasn’t a delusional fucking him cause he’s attractive. Also men do this too, how many men would be willing to be abused by a model to be fucking her?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 06:42 PM
1

Yes, I’m aware women can get sexual attention from men who don’t value us. Why is that a flex? Some guy wants to use me as a hole? Delightful. This isn’t the compliment men think it is. It’s degrading actually. Trust me, my experience in dating average men is that average men want better looking than average. Victoria secret model is probably a stretch but they see the likes of average women as good for casual and only want to settle down with women above their league in looks. Luckily there wer…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 06:35 PM
2

I agree with you. I’m not looking, I’m married. I also don’t have low self-esteem. I’m thinking objectively. You said you’re worried your attraction scale is skewed. I’m assuring you it’s not because it works for you. From your thinking your partner was a 9, most men wouldn’t based on how you described her - so you just have different things you focus on/are attracted to. That’s fine, don’t worry about your bros opinions. As long as you think she’s hot and she wants you, who cares if your friend…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 04:33 PM
1

Women are told we lack self-confidence and the smarts to pick the right guy. Agreed, we don’t nullify each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 04:28 PM
1

What’s your proof women do this? Men do this too. Plenty of women going nuts over basic average men. I saw it all the time. Me included. You’re literally just stating your argument as fact when it isn’t. Both men and women have recalibrated their standards based on availability in media.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 04:27 PM
2

Incel means involuntary celibate. I’m not celibate. So no. I’m also not misandrist. I’m making the argument that women find more than the top 80% of men online attractive, we just need more input. I’m not lying about anything. You know nothing about my life, how can you suggest I’m lying? Women don’t need a picture? I’m sorry what are we rating on then? No, most men on the apps were not more attractive than me. I am stating that I couldn’t tell if I was attracted to most men from picture alone. …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 04:24 PM
0

You have no evidence. I provide logic. We don’t need you, we want you. We like sex. Therefore we want relationships where we have sex. Women like sex, if the women you have sex with don’t, get better at it. I’m not going through this whole post of nonsense and Redpill/incel talking points with rebuttals. You won’t accept them anyway. You want to be bitter about women and your perceived status with them and continuing getting your information from man filled echo chambers online. I already gave y…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 04:17 PM
2

If you are one of the men who think boobs are irrelevant, then you likely focus on other aspects. You rate women higher because you aren’t getting hung up on DDs. Sounds like you have a more realistic outlook. “Group leader” - why does your friend group have a leader?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 04:11 PM
2

80% of guys unattractive from pictures alone on an app. Not in real life. There was just a post yesterday about this. We made the argument that women need more than a picture to determine their attraction. When I online dated, I was actually shocked by the number of men who I had no idea whether I found them attractive or not. Unless they were movie star hot, I generally couldn’t tell. They either looked unattractive, normal, or attractive. I mostly went out with men in the normal category and i…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 03:36 PM
2

😌 glad to find someone on the same page.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 03:33 PM
1

Is this sarcasm? Wasn’t I just talking to you in another sub?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 03:23 PM
1

Im expanding my original argument to the current society with porn and social media have set men’s standards too high because they can easily gain access (through porn/social media) their ideal choices. Men don’t have to “settle” for a cute girl who doesn’t look like their ideal woman because they can stick to watching porn and not having to deal with relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 03:20 PM
1

Just cause it’s boring, doesn’t make it untrue. Plenty of men like thick ladies. Trust me, a genetically skinny woman who was second rate to women with assets for almost all men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 03:17 PM
-4

Where am I getting this from? Real life. Women like sex. Myself (and all my gfs) have higher sex drives than our husbands. Divorces are often mutual fault. Even if the woman files. People also can become less attractive to their partner over time. Ever heard the phrase “show me the sexiest woman in the world and I’ll show you a man tired of fucking her”? Saying the majority of divorces are because women were never attracted to their partners is delusional. Dead bedrooms are complicated and not a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 03:13 PM
1

Don’t disagree. But I’m arguing with above poster about something we’ve already agreed on - that men have too high standards. I’m suggesting porn gives men options (nationality, body type, sex act, etc.) which contributes to this. My vibrator doesn’t give me higher standards for the men I’d date if single.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 03:03 PM
1

I’m done. You’re delusional. We haven’t established anything. It’s what we’ve debated. You say average men have no options, I say they do they just have too high standards and don’t like those options. Go reread what you wrote. You said she said she “doesn’t feel a connection” - not any of the things you wrote here. I was rejected by more than two men. You will have to dig deeper for sympathy. It’s his own fault he internalized some women not being interested as him being unworthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 02:59 PM
3

You deserve someone YOU are attracted to, even if others don’t agree. You may just put emphasis on other factors. For example, I have no boobs. The vast majority of men cared about this. Some really didn’t 🤷‍♀️. I’m like a 5.5/6 but with boobs I’d probably be a 7/7.5. Maybe even 8. Cause I have a cute face, killer legs, thin waist, dimples, etc. Guys who cared less about breast size would likely rate me much higher than typical men. I’m explaining all this just to say that you may value differen…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 02:56 PM
1

Yes, they should’ve been. Doesn’t make the women who did so good people. Also doesn’t make the men who claim they were taken to the cleaners accurate in their assessment. Women contribute by working full time nowadays and taking care of family - but men will complain she took half in divorce. Well yeah - that’s her half. My husband and I jointly bought our house. This is half my house. This is a whole other argument though. Generally I agree that partners should make smart decisions not be with …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 02:51 PM
2

Why is being picky a problem? I don’t deserve a partner who I’m attracted to who is also safe and caring? I’m not “too picky” cause I’m married. Apparently he was worth it. You also have access to online dating and social media. If you are of average attractiveness, have a career, offer safety in a relationship, etc. then you should absolutely take up dating again. You will get hurt and will get rejected, but we all did. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, know your value and invest the energy…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 02:48 PM
1

Why would we get into a relationship with a man we aren’t attracted to and resent? Unless we are mentally ill, this isn’t any woman’s goal. I repeat, not 1950, I don’t need you if I don’t want you. This level stuff is nonsense to a degree (not 100%). But you are suggesting just because you view a woman as below a man’s level, she should worship the ground he walks on. Some people just don’t have chemistry or attraction. I had a guy who objectively is as attractive as my husband (similar height, …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 02:43 PM
1

There are all types of looks in porn. My point is that there are so many options in porn, men can choose whatever they find most attractive. They can pick any body type, hair color, nationality, doing whatever act they find hottest. That’s the issue. Men have too high standards same as women because of porn/social media/etc. Just because there are women who do porn who you consider “average” that doesn’t take away from the fact that these give men options and they no longer have a realistic view…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 02:36 PM
2

No, plenty of men who are offered sex by their partners choose porn anyway. Because it’s more exciting and/or the women are more attractive. It’s not a last resort thing in many situations. Your whole second paragraph is just delusional and sad. What can even say to you? You won’t feel a connection with every person you go out with. It sounds like she was careful about his feelings and didn’t lead him on. I had guys not want me for relationships left and right. But I also had guys interested. St…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 02:32 PM
1

Agree it should not. I realize you didn’t explicitly say it but I do see a lot of blaming women alone for poor choices on this sub. There isn’t enough mention of how the men shouldn’t have been abusive just that the woman chose poorly and should be held accountable. That’s what I’m reacting to. I’ll never forgive myself for being in that situation, but that doesn’t make it all my fault.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 02:26 PM
2

Have you also seen men cheat? Men rape women? Men sexually abuse women? Men be controlling and possessive of their woman? Pure manipulation? Financial control/abuse? Oh you have?! Huh weird. I thought only women were bad. No, for the 1000th time, we are looking for safe men who we do find attractive. No one wants or needs men they aren’t attracted to unless you truly have gold to dig (most men don’t).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 02:23 PM
2

Well if you’ve never tried because you don’t view yourself as a chad, then how can you even be arguing with me? Men I know have options - they’ve dated a lot online and/or met women elsewhere. I don’t know where you live, but in larger cities - it’s a nonissue. They just aren’t matching with Victoria secret models. As a woman, I’ve never had a man come up to me in a bar or while out either. I’ve met men through school, work, and online. But never from a pickup. So I guess I didn’t have options e…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 02:20 PM
1

My husband and I value intimate sex which is why we are compatible. Neither of us wanted one night stands or casual sex. And no, even men with high counts want women with low counts for serious relationships. It’s a double standard. Yes, I said “men get to” and I stand by it. Men get to whore around without consequences while women still get slut shamed (despite your claims this isn’t the case).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 02:17 PM
1

Where did I say that? No, I said guys want casual sex and when they aren’t attractive enough to get it, they get bitter and shut down. It’s not that they don’t have any women attracted to them. They are shooting above their level for a type of interaction that isn’t fulfilling for many women. If they focused on non Victoria secret looking ladies who want relationships, they’d have more luck. Which is the exact thing you said to me “I shot above my level”. You can’t tell me these average guys I m…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 02:14 PM
1

Look around Reddit at women complaining their husbands watch porn or OF when they offer them sex. It’s a problem. I don’t have an issue with porn if it doesn’t impact a relationship. Watch away but don’t be surprised when it impacts your view of everyday normal women and sexual relationships. Doesn’t mean they don’t try for it. Never said they get it. They don’t want relationships because they want casual sex and see relationships as settling rather than finding a partner who loves you. So they …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 02:06 PM
1

There are examples of almost everything in the world. This doesn’t mean it’s the norm. Women like sex. I don’t need a man to support me, it’s not 1950. Why would I settle for some guy I don’t wanna fuck? Makes no sense. Go 70 years back and start this argument. You’ll see women settling left and right because they were viewed as less than without a husband and couldn’t support themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 02:03 PM
2

You’re the one saying they have no options and no women are attracted to them. I’m saying there are women, they are just as picky about it as women.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 02:01 PM
2

Nope most of the men I went out with were your average guys. I dated two Chads in my history. Every other of the 20+ guys I’ve been out on dates with have been average or below in looks, job, education, etc. I love my husband and he’s my first choice but he’s on the same level as me looks, education, job wise. You’d be surprised how many short busted looking guys only wanted casual sex. Edited to add: so nice of you to suggest I’m a lower level because I pointed out I don’t have a Victoria secre…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 01:59 PM
1

No porn addictions are rampant. Even with men in relationships. You are incorrect. When I was dating - your average Joes who weren’t even as attractive as myself were mostly looking to be in the casual sex scene. If they have no options and are dumpster diving, then why the focus on getting casual sex? Wouldn’t relationship be easier? But it’s not the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 01:57 PM
3

Date some men and then let’s talk.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 01:55 PM
2

I did not encounter this while dating in a major city in the US. Women who sleep around are still slut shamed. I didn’t have sex with quite a few men I wanted because I knew I’d have to divulge my number to a husband prospect someday and I’d be judged for it. Women have to restrict themselves to not be seen as less than while men get to fuck whoever they want without consequence. You can’t possibly not know this double standard. Women have to be untouched or rarely touched while men get a free p…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 01:54 PM
0

If you feel that way about your relationship - which I can only assume you do because I’ve seen many of your posts - then leave and find a woman who does value you as a partner. Most women do not do this. I don’t know any married woman who feels she settled and isn’t regularly having sex with her husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 01:51 PM
3

Guess I’m below average then. Either that or you are falling prey to my exact argument - men have too high standards for women nowadays due to social media/porn/OF.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 01:49 PM
-2

Of course women should be attracted to their partners. You do realize women like sex right? We aren’t looking to settle down with a guy we don’t wanna fuck. This isn’t the 1950s where women can’t work and need a man to support them so they will settle. Men should still aim to be good people and provide safety in relationships. If they don’t want to be a man treated poorly in a relationship they shouldn’t treat the woman poorly. That’s the topic of many posts on this debate sub. Men want to be th…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 01:43 PM
7

I’m referencing the second sentence in your comment and you know it. So can men. You’re not making any points.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 01:40 PM
7

Disagree. Have you dated men? They absolutely believe non models are below average and that they are “settling”. Look all over red pill and incel groups. Look how many men have a porn problem and choose porn when they have a partner. Because they are obsessed with that type of woman and see the rest of us average Jans as settling cause they aren’t a Chad who can get a model. Spend their time being bitter and angry those women won’t choose them while ignoring cute “girl next doors” who would marr…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 01:38 PM
4

Really?! Cause I’m about 20 years post high school and my mom still periodically makes fun of the idiot I dated in high school. We still get criticized, trust me.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 01:34 PM
3

I do look back and realize I made a bad choice. I should’ve left the situation and didnt before it had gone too far. But that doesn’t make what he did right nor mean I wasn’t victimized by him. Two things can be true.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 01:33 PM
4

This is the same with men. Due to social media, OF, and porn all men want women to look like Victoria secret models. Sorry but real women don’t generally look like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 01:30 PM
2

There are also men who delusional. What’s your point? I had trouble finding guys who wanted more than sex when I was dating because men are obsessed with boobs, and I don’t have them. Men want Victoria secret models - skinny with big boobs/butt - the rest of us are just good for hookups. There aren’t a lot of women with Victoria secret bodies and if you are naturally skinny like me, then they generally have assets to match their low bmi.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 01:27 PM
-3

K well good luck being alone because if you won’t provide safety in a relationship (which is what safe choice men do), then we aren’t going to want you long term and any relationships you do have will be unhealthy. Be the “risky” cheater/abuser/man who starts arguments and breeds insecurity in women - no skin off my nose. We do see our safe choice men as a prize. That’s precisely why we marry them and choose them everyday.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 01:21 PM
4

Yes, it is. But a lot of us did/do talk to guys we aren’t sure about. Honestly most of the profiles, I couldn’t get a read on if I was actually attracted. I did feel not attracted to some men and I didn’t respond to them. But ones I was unsure of, if their profile hit certain things I was looking for (same general area, employed, looking for long term), then I’d usually respond unless I had too much going on. Then I’d get a sense in person about other factors. It took a lot of dates to meet my h…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 11:17 PM
9

I have proven neither of your points. If visual is all you give us - then we need a very attractive man. Because we can’t judge our attraction based on that alone. Men can do so more easily.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 06:30 PM
5

Who says women have a lower sex drive? https://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-drive-how-do-men-women-compare
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 06:28 PM
8

No, it means we have a high bar for visual in the absence of other available factors. Men see women and it’s enough. Women see men and 🤷‍♀️ unless he’s an Adonis. We need your personality. I always said while online dating that I probably turned down a lot of men that could’ve been good for me (I found my husband so all good). Mostly because I couldn’t tell if I was attracted based on picture alone and (not to brag cause I’m very average) but I usually had other options messaging me that I felt …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 06:15 PM
7

I wholeheartedly agree with you here. In the absence of other attractive traits being available for evaluation - women will go for the most attractive men. We need those other traits to feel attracted to a partner. I do not think OP makes the point he thinks he makes with this.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 06:13 PM
7

Potentially offer platonic emotional support. First, I’m married - but even if I wasn’t, no I wouldn’t offer him sex. Sex to me was always about chemistry and believing (sometimes wrongly) that the man cared for and respected me. I don’t owe this man sex because he’s jealous other people get it more easily and/or he thinks sex will bring him peace. If we happened to have good chemistry and he had been a part of my life as a caring force for a period of time - perhaps I would, but as you explaine…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 06:05 PM
–

OP’s original post does not specifically argue the Justin Bieber case - which I am admittedly not following. He does not specify defamation cases or social media only reports - he threw in an article about it on a comment I responded to, but I’m responding to his message as a whole. We aren’t dehumanizing men. We just don’t want to get sexually assaulted or raped anymore. When it does happen, we don’t want to be blamed or sued. Essentially making it easier to punish women who accuse men is not r…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 05:13 PM
–

The difference is criminal vs civil cases. I don’t know if you are in US (I can’t speak to other countries). You can’t be “convicted” of a civil lawsuit. Just “liable”. Being held liable is a much lower bar than criminal. Criminal requires “beyond a reasonable doubt”. Yes, it is possible a person is not found criminally guilty. But they can then turn around and attempt to hold the person accusing them civilly liable. The burden of proof isn’t as great and if they can prove the allegation hurt th…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 04:59 PM
–

You’re arguing that she should be criminally liable not civilly which is not the focus of OP. He is arguing for civil suing. Criminal liability is “beyond a reasonable doubt” - I would agree if a man can prove a woman lied beyond a reasonable doubt - then punishment should follow. Civil liability is a much lower bar. Individuals are found not guilty of criminal cases all the time and later sued civilly and are found liable. So if I can’t prove a man raped me to the level of him being found crimi…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 04:54 PM
–

Exactly 🤡
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 04:51 PM
–

Echoing commenter below - an opinion isn’t being sacrificed to society. Women being raped at higher numbers and their attackers going free is a detriment to society. I’m really tired of all these arguments on Reddit claiming men get the crap end of the stick in society. You realize women had to fight for every right we have, yes? It’s still legal in many states to rape your wife. Or how men shouldn’t be on the hook for child support if they don’t wanna pay cause they can’t force abortions on wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 04:50 PM
–

Exactly
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 04:46 PM
–

Yes - if it can be proved beyond a reasonable doubt. Which is not the standard in civil suing cases. Edit: if a person is not found criminally guilty of a crime, he/she in some cases can still be held civilly liable. It’s a lower standard of “guilt”. Women should not be sued because they were SA/raped, filed a police report, but it couldn’t be held up in court (not because the man was innocent but because beyond a reasonable doubt is a high bar). Then the man decides to sue her for false accusat…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 04:42 PM
–

OP you make no mention of police reports in your initial argument. Nor specifically do I see mention of social media only claims. Maybe you should edit if it’s not your actual argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 04:41 PM
–

Bullshit. This is just an argument to let men get off with SA/rape at a higher rate. I can get a medical exam and file a police report but if he claims it was consensual.. how do I prove otherwise? Then I get sued on top of this? No women will ever come forward and men will have free rein to rape.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 03:11 PM
–

It’s not about that - and I believe you misunderstood my point. I’m not saying women are less likely to be believed because of false allegations - it’s just throughout history it’s been “boys will be boys”, “you shouldn’t have worn that”, “you shouldn’t have been intoxicated”, etc. Men need to face consequences for SA/rape. They already don’t on a large scale. Not facing consequences puts other women - and sometimes children - at risk. It benefits society for women to come forward because then w…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 03:09 PM
–

She’s pointing out the irony in your statement.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 03:02 PM
–

I’ll help - she’s pointing out that incels and red pillers reduce men to statistics all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 02:58 PM
–

🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 02:57 PM
–

Because it deters women who have been raped or assaulted from reporting. It’s already daunting, embarrassing - and hard to prove. But now if I can’t prove it happened I can be sued for defamation on top of that? So reporting a rape is unlikely to get the guy prosecuted AND I’m gonna wind up in financial ruin? No. I feel for men who are falsely accused but idk what the right answer is. This isn’t it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 02:56 PM
1

BS you can be both dominating and safe. No one wants cheaters who fight with you as per OP’s definition. Can’t believe I’m getting downvoted for saying women enjoy sex more with men they feel safe with. Like how is this news?!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 07:39 PM
1

Believe what you want. You can’t base what “most women” do on Reddit. I talk to my girlfriends regularly about sex with their husbands and - barring medical issues/babies - they are all having regular sex with their husbands.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/25 07:38 PM
1

How does he show me he’s safe? Here are some examples: been together 11 years and haven’t felt second to any other woman, never needed to be concerned he cheated, he’s never threatened me, he’s never forced me into doing anything I’m not comfortable with, he is an active husband (supports us, does his part with our home and life responsibilities), takes care of me when sick, active father, is there for me when I need it, etc. Having been in unsafe relationships in the past, it really is a stark …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 08:45 PM
1

Women have no problem with the right objectification in many other contexts. Being objectified by your trusted partner in the bedroom is hot. We like to feel attractive and like you lose your minds over us. There’s a balance between respecting us as your partner outside of the bedroom and lusting after us in it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/25 08:18 PM
0

Why would I be with a man who would view it that way? I certainly don’t view my husband that way and he is my safe place. It’s ok if he had partners he was more physically attracted to in the past as long as he is also attracted to me, sees me as a caretaker, good wife, good mother, someone he wants by his side at all times. It is saying the same thing but the meaning is completely different. I’m clearly more valuable to him than those past women. I don’t see him as the boring choice I’m not att…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 11:25 PM
-2

It does indeed make an environment for fulfilling, mutually enjoyable sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 11:19 PM
0

I disagree - go look at all the mom memes about their husbands being sexy because they’ve done the vacuuming or made dinner or done anything childcare related. I find guys who are caring and nurturing to be sexy more so than asshole Chads. Of course I do have to also be attracted to them, it’s not enough alone. But it’s an intersection between both.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 11:16 PM
-3

I disagree. My husband is my safe space and he was not a backup plan. I wanted a man to do life with and would be a good husband/father. I’d never have traded him for a risky choice. And I like to fuck him so that helps.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 11:04 PM
1

From a woman’s perspective - it was life changing to meet a guy who treats me well, wanted to do life with me, and shows up for me and our family everyday. Having guys desire me for sex (I’m average 5.5/6 out of 10) was pretty standard (not bragging, it’s not that hard). But finding a man who valued me for more than my body, that was amazing.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 11:01 PM
2

Agree - safe all the way. Far more attractive to me than some guy who would abuse me/cheat on me. My husband treating me as his equal partner is a huge part of my attraction to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 10:57 PM
2

Perfect answer - be my safe space but let’s have fun in the bedroom
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 10:53 PM
2

What? If I read erotica that’s also not cheating in our relationship because I’m not interacting with another person. I don’t know what you are debating with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 02:09 PM
5

I agree with this. My husband and I also have an agreement between what is and what isn’t cheating in terms of porn. Videos that he cannot interact with, are fine in my view. We have a good sex life and it’s never impacted us. Webcam/OF are considered cheating to me because the man is interacting with another person and/or following a specific person who takes requests. I had a friend whose bf cheated on her with webcam girls - paid their rent and everything behind her back. I have a strict vide…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 08:54 PM
8

I agree with this, no problem discussing trying new things in bed. But if the answer is no, it should be respected and left at no. Agree that when a partner forces you or coerces you, it’s more about their character than porn. My ex was a horrible person and did this type of thing. I don’t blame porn. I blame him.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 08:34 PM
0

What if they find out later in the pregnancy she’s pregnant? What if she doesn’t tell the man till farther along? What if the man knows but then changes his mind and lies and says he didn’t know? Too many options. 2 & 3 - why are abortions increasing a goal we should be seeking? If more men refuse to support the children they father - after, in most cases, refusing to use effective contraception - that will increase killing of babies in utero. We don’t have unfettered access to abortion in the U…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 08:05 PM
-1

No, I do not support this. For the following reasons: What about if men change their mind during the course of a pregnancy or a child’s life? Suddenly it’s all on the women. If it’s a single parent situation, it was already predominantly on the woman financially, physically, emotionally and the man was only on the hook for some financial support. Men already have the easy path to parenthood. Now you want it all on us. When does the man get to decide he wants out? Can my husband, who planned our …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 06:07 PM
2

Agree - neither me nor my husband wanted a virgin because we wanted to be having sex. At 25 and 27 (our age at meeting), if either of us were virgins, it would’ve been because we were waiting for marriage. But neither of us did one night stands or was looking for casual sex and had a similar number of past partners. We’re married now. People shouldn’t get so hung up on body counts and focus more on compatibility on a relational and sexual level.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 09:39 PM
2

I’m a 6/10 (maybe 5.5) objectively and no man was spending anywhere near that on dates or my lifestyle. I didn’t want him to either.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 09:20 PM
3

Yup - that was a scary stat for me while pregnant!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 01:01 AM
4

Is this comment in reference to maternal death in childbirth? Because if so, accurate in places/times without modern medicine.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 12:39 AM
2

I was probably more contentious than I needed be as well. I agree we had a good back and forth. We can agree to disagree on certain things, but also think we found some common ground we agreed on. I enjoy debating - hence being on purplepilldebate. It’s a good outlet for my natural feistiness 🤷‍♀️.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 10:21 PM
1

Sorry I wrote an essay…I didn’t mean to ramble. 🫣 if they aren’t keen on commitment, then be up front. If the woman is looking for commitment, they’re not compatible. It’s not moral to pretend otherwise for access to sex. I think dating non exclusively is a good thing until you find someone you want to be more serious about. I did that, just didn’t have sex. But agree on the men’s side if men are getting it elsewhere they may be more okay with waiting on a girl they like. I don’t understand why …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 08:36 PM
1

Many men also don’t know what they want. Look at all the “situationships” that pop up. Men don’t know what they want and drag their feet on commitment. Or maybe they know exactly what they want (not her) and they aren’t being transparent about that. Both genders don’t know what they want at times. I am rather surprised to learn you are married AND you waited with your wife considering your earlier comments. I believe you of course - but a lot of your comments are so sex focused and not relations…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 06:48 PM
2

Both equally. Also a bit of “I’m a modern woman and I don’t need you to support me - this is how I’m going to show you”… if that makes sense. Sometimes if I liked the guy and he insisted on paying, I’d let him but then say something like “alright you be the gentleman this time but I’ll treat you on date 2” - to let him know I wanted a second date in a playful way.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 05:34 PM
1

This comment is much clearer than your first and I agree with most of it. However, I still believe if you’re looking to have casual sex be a part of your interaction before being willing to make a commitment - then you’re still being disingenuous if you’re not clear about that. Maybe not on a first date but soon after.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 01:45 PM
1

You want a woman who fakes compatibility? Yeah, super smart for a long term relationship, that won’t fall apart s/. If that makes you laugh out loud - you’re not relationship material. I’m not allowing a man to penetrate me who I don’t believe has genuine interest/respect for me. Granted I definitely fell for guys pretending in my history when I was very young, but when I got older I was much more careful. I am not confusing comfort with desire. I very much desire my husband. Not to be vulgar bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 01:41 PM
2

The women who do this aren’t likely wasting time going out with you if they aren’t interested. They are trying to figure out if you are compatible. Why go out with you when they could be with friends or home with their dog? Ghosting is shitty behavior she should tell you she’s not interested. “Hoping a separate dude comes around to commit to them” - well if they want commitment and you want casual sex, then yeah they will choose the man offering that. Relationships are built on trust, compatibil…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 12:06 PM
1

Oh I understood it just fine. Your definition of honesty not being “well received” is that you don’t get sex then. So then hiding intentions is a-okay so that isn’t the outcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 11:58 AM
1

Well it wasn’t just once, we had it a few times in those two weeks- but yeah. I do think he had fun hanging out with me and going to second base in the meantime - so it wasn’t torture for him to wait. No, it’s not black and white but I still believe people should be clear in their wants/needs not be deceptive. Leads to less hurt feelings. I don’t feel like men wanting casual sex is more important than a woman feeling used at the end of the day.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 07:00 AM
1

That wasn’t the case here, but thanks for your spin on it. I’m not talking about women who ignores a man’s stated intentions - common sense says that isn’t abuse. That’s a choice she made to be in situationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 06:49 AM
1

Agree. Or something similar. I am specifically talking about women who are clear on wanting a relationship - man pretends till he gets sex, then dumps her. I had this happen. Dated me for 3 months, I slept with him, he dumped me two weeks later. We didn’t fight or anything he just decided he didn’t want a gf but then had a gf another gf a month later. And before you say I suck at sex and he decided to leave, I don’t. He kept coming back trying for sex. Edited cause I saw your edit: it’s still ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 06:39 AM
1

https://www.britannica.com/topic/sexual-abuse “sexual abuse, in criminal law, any act of sexual contact that a person suffers, submits to, participates in, or performs as a result of force or violence, threats, fear, or deception or without having legally consented to the act.“ What im describing is deception. It is unlikely prosecutable, personally I would never seek legal support for such a situation, but it is abusive behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 06:37 AM
1

See my comment above.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 06:08 AM
1

It is entitlement. How do you not see this? You poor thing investing time/money in a woman you might be interested in an ltr with. That’s dating. You know what is a thousand times worse than that? Allowing a man to use you for your body when they aren’t actually interested in more from you. Allowing a man - who doesn’t care for or respect you - to use you for his pleasure is a million times worse than you wasting some time and money on dates. I never gave a man my body on a first date. I wasn’t …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 06:06 AM
1

Sometimes casual sex can lead to a long term partner - but still it is moral to be up front that you want to be casual and see how it goes No, of course not every married couple started with the intention of spending their life together. If both partners are comfortable with having sex outside of commitment, no problem. The problem is when men pretend to care or give the appearance of a relationship situation when they are being purposely misleading.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 05:54 AM
2

I agree with most of this but have to point out that a man spending time/money on dates with a woman who then decides she isn’t interested in him long term and doesn’t want to have sex (what you call a scam) is in no way comparable to a woman who gets used for sex because a guy feigns caring. Violating someone’s body is way more serious than spending some time and money on someone. This is my big problem with red pill. They equate getting used for dates (most of us are just trying to see if we l…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 05:47 AM
1

Why would we go out with you again if we had no interest in sex with you? We aren’t trying to get into an ltr where we aren’t attracted. Women like sex too. This isn’t 50 years ago - most women can support themselves and buy their own food. We don’t need you. Unless you have gold to dig you don’t need to worry about this. Redpill wants women with low n counts but want easy access to sex - catch 22 for us. You want a hookup or you want to hookup while deciding if you like her for an ltr (situatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 05:33 AM
3

If she doesn’t like that, you aren’t on the same page. Can we all stop pretending that feigning interest and care for a woman to get access to her body isn’t sexual abuse? You’re a shit person if you do this. Being honest “doesn’t work”? If the definition of “work” is getting access to her body under false pretenses, then kindly rethink your approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 05:28 AM
3

Exactly why don’t men get this? I’m not pursuing an ltr with you if I don’t have an attraction. Women like sex too. Sorry I want proof you’re interested in more and aren’t going to violate me and leave. Such a tragedy that they have to wait to get the most intimate act 🙄. These men aren’t worth relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 05:22 AM
3

Because she doesn’t want to end up used by a man pretending to be interested in her long term or pretending to care about her. If you want a hookup or you want to hookup while deciding if you like her enough for an ltr, then be up front about it. A woman making you wait is only trying to protect herself from feeling violated or letting a man use her body. I made guys wait before I got married and turned down men who wanted sex before exclusivity. I went two years without sex (with the exception …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 05:16 AM
2

I very much agree that being up front is the way to go. Even if it leads to some getting the “ick” and your losing out on a casual partner. Pretending to be interested in more or making a woman think you care about her when you’re just looking to get access to her body is sexual abuse. It leaves us violated. At least if we choose a hookup, we know what it is and choose it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 05:06 AM
2

Let’s stop pretending that men feigning relationship interest and care for a woman to get sex isn’t sexual abuse. It leaves her feeling used, emotionally hurt, stupid, and physically violated. At least when she looks for hookups/understands what is up with the interaction (I.e. a hookup) then she participates willingly with that understanding. Men who pretend to respect/care for a woman to get access to her body aren’t excusable. I don’t care if you can’t get easy access to sex while other men d…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 05:02 AM
0

I disagree, men are the gatekeepers of relationships. Women are often looking for commitment instead of sleeping around. Finding a relationship should be easier than going through the steps to have multiple casual sex opportunities. When I was dating, <25 years old, a lot of the guys I met online were only looking for casual sex. No interest in any commitment even though I put no hookups on my profile so I have no idea why they wasted their time/money. I had sex once (with an ex I’d already had …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/25 04:44 AM
1

Alright fair enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 10:56 PM
2

I’m sorry that has been your experience. My husband and I took turns paying while dating or split. I’ve given him lots of thoughtful gifts and even some “just because” ones like a candy bar or chips he likes while I’m at the store just cause I know it’ll make him happy. He does the same for me like grabbing my fav soda or ice cream without my asking. We were pretty equal in planning dates while dating, admittedly I am now the planner in the relationship. I should probably tell him it’s his turn …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 10:54 PM
–

I could throw your argument back at you in reverse. Women aren’t slaves to rigid standards either. Plenty of men lose sexual interest in their female partners if they gain weight, get old, have stretch marks after babies, have saggy boobs after breastfeeding, etc. Men lose sexual interest in the women they marry too which leads to dead bedrooms. You should see how many posts there are on mom subreddits of how they don’t feel as attractive anymore after kids and as they age and their husbands don…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 08:27 PM
1

No, he wasn’t an incel. He had sex with me and had prior relationships where he had sex. He was just an awful human. Not misogynist (entitled yes) just a user. And he was like 5’5/5’6 and average in appearance. No Chad for sure. Not socially anxious.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 06:23 PM
1

Not all men want hairless women. We aren’t required to get anything done for you. Not all men like long full hair and no, it’s not that hard to have long hair. Hair grows. Just don’t cut it. The only woman I know with hair extensions has them cause she bleached the hell out of her hair and had to cut a lot off. Everyone else just lets it grow if they want long hair. Mine is super long and super full. Yes, some women have finer hair or lose hair, there’s always exceptions. Hair extensions are als…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 02:27 PM
2

Relationships break down for a variety of factors. And no, I don’t agree with your statement. People usually marry another person of similar attractiveness and status. Sure there are exceptions but by and large what I said is true. Just look around.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 02:13 PM
2

……🤦‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 02:10 PM
5

Okay, if hypergamy is also across - why is this bad? If I’m average in looks, employment, intelligence, and education - why is it wrong to want similar in a partner? I get women being gold diggers, trading looks for being a kept woman is controversial. If your argument isn’t that hypergamy is wrong, but rather that it’s real - okay. But I’m not worthy of less than what I offer a man because I’m not super model hot. Men are more likely to date a woman with good looks who isn’t as successful as th…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 02:08 PM
3

I agree people from both genders are with assholes. But incels and assholes are different. Women hating and feeling entitled to us/our bodies are scary concepts. People are with partners not good for them for a variety of reasons. For example, the worst partner I was with was of average looks and below average in education and employment. He was downright abusive. I was with him out of low self esteem, prior relationship trauma, and grief (lost a friend fell into an asshole). Being shy or unattr…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 02:04 PM
3

Exactly…Or that we settled for them and they are simps. Sometimes Reddit drives me nuts but then I remember my interactions with real humans and remember that Reddit isn’t reflective of real humans/relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 03:07 AM
1

Yes, I deserve those things as an average woman because I also buy birthday/valentines presents, pay for dates, show my appreciation so I expect equal effort. A woman’s worth is not based on looks alone. Your whole second paragraph makes me think you like men because you go on about how they are more attractive than women. Which is fine if you are, but maybe stop spending so much time worrying about heterosexual dating patterns if your primary attraction is men. Also, many men don’t like all the…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 03:02 AM
2

This is delusional. Men in relationships with women they love and are attracted to (whether average or above) aren’t going to leave just because they have to spend a dime. Finances ebb and flow in life - sometimes one partner pulls more weight. You don’t get to decide where average women stand or our value. Most stable employed men are married and have sex with their wives. But employed men do not “deserve” anything other than their paycheck. Relationships are deeper than that. What about employ…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 01:54 AM
2

Yes, I keep hearing this from men on Reddit. All the divorces ive seen, it has not been the case that the man was financially ruined. More often the woman was (one of my coworkers divorced her much older husband and he got 2 houses and she wound up in a small apartment with primary custody of their three kids. Another still lives with her mom with sole custody of their kid while he drags out the divorce for 5 years living in their house). Most though were fairly equal. I’m sure there’s some trut…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 01:13 AM
2

“Large minority”….interesting word choice. You do realize women like sex right? Or do when the man isn’t selfish and is a good communicator for what the woman wants in bed. Dead bedrooms are complicated and it’s not always because the woman doesn’t want sex. There are often disabilities involved, like one partner can’t physically have sex in the normal way. Women aren’t going into marriage with the hopes they will stop being sexually satisfied. My friends and I are all having sex with (and blowi…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 01:06 AM
3

Maybe make a post? You could take a poll. Since you don’t trust my word, ThatBitchA, or the house on Mars one.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 12:57 AM
2

I agree that by date 3-5, a woman who is interested sexually is probably doing something with you even if it isn’t oral or sex. My husband and I kissed on date 2..on subsequent dates we hit 2nd base. I’d also hold his hand or arm while we were out and give him compliments on his smell and arms. I did similarly with other guys I met online, I just didn’t sleep with them because they either made it clear that’s all they wanted, we weren’t compatible, or they ghosted because I was taking too long I…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 12:46 AM
4

Were you born in 1988? Cause if so, Hi! We are the same age. I am just as modern as you. If you aren’t having luck with gen z…maybe date a fellow millennial.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 12:33 AM
4

Agree to disagree then. You’re only hurting yourself if you don’t accept the incel mindset will repel women. It’ll just be a self-fulfilling prophecy.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 12:31 AM
1

This whole comment is immature. Women want a partner who can contribute more or less equally to a relationship. Not just financially, but someone who is an active father, does housework, fixes things, steps up when their sick - in general is a partner. I don’t want a man who isn’t stable/employed/educated/etc. because I’m not your mommy. I want a partner I can raise children with, not be the sole provider, caretaker of our children, and caretaker of my man. I’d be on board with a stay at home da…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 12:29 AM
1

You literally responded to my initial post saying that what I was describing IS hypergamy and then wrote another comment saying if I’m average looking than I can’t participate in hypergamy…so which is it? Am I participating or not? Also if average women can’t participate in hypergamy, than it’s not a wide spread problem and negates the original topic. Statistically speaking below average women and average women make up 75% of women. You sound more red pill than blue pill with this comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 11:46 PM
2

Because men like that only care about looks. There are women like that too. My comment is that this isn’t a problem in most situations…women arent hell bent on dating “up”. We want a stable guy who can support a family with us that we don’t have to support and raise as a man child. Hard stop. Guys should aim to be that guy. So because I’m average looking I have to have a job instead of being a pretty sex slave to some old dude with money?! Oh no….
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 11:32 PM
5

This is ridiculous. I made my husband wait a month (and would’ve been longer had our relationship progressed slower) and 11 years later I can’t keep my hands off him. People have more self control for their base desires and want to hold off to find out if you’re a person worth giving their body to or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 11:26 PM
1

Spot on, no notes
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 11:14 PM
4

Sharing a body IS a major deal. You got that part correct - and when I was dating, if I was going to give access to my body (oral/piv) the guy needed to show that they were serious about me, cared for me, wanted the same thing as me, was attractive to me, etc….Sex isn’t always just about how attracted you are to someone. I didn’t have sex with a bunch of guys I was attracted to because they were red flags.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 11:09 PM
6

I mean I haven’t dated in over a decade but I did online dating when I did. I went out with guys I thought I might like, but I didn’t always like. I went out with lots of guys it turned out I didn’t like. That’s the whole point of dating…to see if you like someone. Not drop panties on the first date. Edited to add: I was looking for a relationship and only wanted to have sex with a man who cared for me. I had only had sex once (meet up with an ex) in the last two years before I met my husband. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 10:56 PM
2

I applaud you for identifying as a recovering incel. Being rejected certainly is not a good feeling and I’m sorry you are hurt by it. But the argument I was responding to from another user was asserting that being an incel isn’t a turn off for women - it has all to do with looks. This is not true. Women value safety from men - I can tell you that incel thinking does not make us feel safe or valued. Good luck in recovery, it can only increase your luck with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 10:49 PM
10

Just another woman voting that being an incel is absolutely a woman repellent. Plenty of unattractive men are married and are having sex - I know several! - they just aren’t married to a hot Stacy. Edited to add: you can’t tell women that we are delusional about what we go for. We kinda have a better grasp on that especially if you haven’t had many relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 10:36 PM
12

Just here to point out that many of the average looking “nice guys” - are not in fact nice guys. They just think they are. They tend to be controlling, misogynistic, etc. We don’t all pick the hot guy who abuses us. Most of us pick the perfectly average guy who abuses us who pretends to love or care for us. Men fall for women who treat them poorly as well. Luckily I did eventually find a truly nice guy, my husband. He’s not a simp I settled for and we def don’t have a dead bedroom.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 10:32 PM
8

Exactly, my husband and I make roughly the same. We have similar assets and level of education. We’d probably be rated the same attractiveness wise on a scale 1-10…most of my friends are the same with their spouses.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 10:19 PM
1

I did have that experience too. But my offer wasn’t fake. Especially if I wasn’t into the guy and knew I wouldn’t go out with him. I was pretty adamant I be allowed to pay my share if I knew I wouldn’t go out with him again. I figured then he’d have more money to take out another woman who may be interested. If I liked him, and he insisted, I let him pay but I still worried he’d feel I’d owe him.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 02:47 PM
1

Because it felt like they thought the time spent with me was worth it. It’s not logical, but it’s the truth. However, I didn’t want them to feel as if I owed them anything physical for paying - which is how I felt at times.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/25 04:45 AM
2

Before I got married I was pretty adamant about all partners using condoms at all times. I had one partner who downright refused to but he’d been tested and I made sure to take the pill regularly. My husband and agreed to give up condoms after our wedding (we were using pill + condoms to prevent pregnancy but we were exclusive obvi) but we stopped three months before our wedding because we ran out. Figured it was close enough 🤣.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 10:17 PM
–

For the record, your date examples don’t sound low effort at all. Museum date, planetarium…please give these “appetizers in a bar men” some ideas. Low cost doesn’t equal low effort. Some of my fav dates with my husband were surprise ice skating night, going pumpkin picking, going to outdoor festival/fireworks, etc. Heck he even proposed while apple picking. I loved that the dates were unique and felt special to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 06:48 PM
–

Sure they are, look in the mirror.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 06:30 PM
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Then we are more on the same page than I originally thought - but id like to point out that the OP of this post did include a section about “women who don’t have sex on a first date” and has been arguing through the comments that a woman giving men sex on a first date is the only way to be sure she’s genuinely attracted and is the best sign for a successful relationship. It’s not, and I don’t even agree that’s what men who are focused on immediate sex are worried about. It’s not about the succes…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 06:15 PM
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If she has a 30-60 day rules she probably doesn’t have sex on a first date. I never had sex on a first date. Even if a woman used to have sex on a first date, if that made her feel used or ashamed - she may change that behavior. Doesn’t make her uninterested or not attracted to you. Let’s say I did make a habit of sex on a first date - then yes, it is possible a man that I had sex with on a first date might be excluded from those other shows of affection. Because if I’m not concerned with him pu…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 05:36 PM
1

Those weren’t my only options. I didn’t talk to or go out with those options. Speaking about online dates alone, I probably went out with 15 guys before I found my husband (maybe a few less or a few more). I didn’t have sex with any of them except my husband. Before online dating, I didn’t date guys without established careers who lived at home but it was cause we were under 21 - so that was normal. Women do not want run through men. We value men who want emotionality in sex. And won’t be runnin…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 05:22 PM
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Who said “unrequited effort”?! Of course you should expect effort in return from a woman you’re seeing! I didn’t mean to suggest otherwise - however, the ONLY “effort” you’re interested in is her body. You pay for/plan dates and then expect sex right away. What if a woman doesn’t want to have sex on the first date (or for the first 30-60 days) but she offers to treat you on the second date, or she plans something fun for you two, or she texts/calls often and asks how your day was, or she holds y…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 04:52 PM
1

It’s hypocritical to want something like virginity from us but not expect to provide that yourself. It’s true I want a provider, but I’m also a provider. I didn’t want a man who was having casual sex for a ltr. I wasn’t looking for a virgin because I wanted to have sex. My husband wasn’t looking for a virgin either because he wanted to be having sex. Mid-20s age virgins are probably waiting for marriage or are not attractive. My husband didn’t want either of those options. Many men arent capable…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 04:45 PM
1

Men need to be LTR material too. Have a career and be able to provide. Be respectful and put in effort. Be husband material and present father vibes. You want a virgin? Be a virgin yourself (virgin by choice because you value that, not because you can’t get 🐱 - because if a woman is a virgin it’s likely she had options but chose to abstain so we expect the same of you).
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 03:24 PM
1

Says something about me? The vast majority did not get the sex they were after and the ones that did put in lots of time/effort. And I only wound up around 1 guy with that many bodies. See there you go with the Catch 22 and blaming women when men are obsessed with the casual sex scene and see relationships as a consolation prize. The vast majority of men aren’t LTR material. They don’t value relationships (based on Reddit they are resentful if they participate at all), don’t see women as people,…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 02:17 PM
1

I think you need to look harder at men’s comments in this sub. Lots of talk about how they want women to drop panties asap and they won’t believe in their interest if they are not fucking first date. You can’t simultaneously have women who are virginal/very low body count and also have women who are providing easy sex. It’s a catch 22. Stop pretending it isn’t. We aren’t falling on the sword so you can use us as a hole. Also, most men would not prefer an ltr. Again look across this sub and redpi…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 02:04 PM
3

Yes, but in the meantime they are still contagious. You could come out clean on a test but still be a risk to someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 05:10 AM
1

I asked him often if he did hookup with anyone else from work. I very much did not want him to, would’ve felt very worthless if he showed interest in all of us. He always told me he didn’t and to be honest, I probably would’ve been able to figure out if he had as there weren’t a lot of employees. But who knows for sure - he lied to me a lot. He knew I was against hooking up/having sex while he was in a relationship. So he’d lie to me about being single or breaking up with his partner so I’d do s…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 05:06 AM
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I don’t believe that you are not angry or jealous. You do have inherent worth, we all do, but you can’t expect love and intimacy with how you view women/partners. Of course you should choose a woman who likes you but you’re going about it poorly. I honestly don’t understand how any woman would want to interact with you in anyway based on your posts I’ve read. Again, I’m not trying to be mean - I hope you grow as a person in social relationships and find value and meaning in relationships outside…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 04:18 AM
5

Yes - but slut shaming also makes an impact on casual sex. Men want long term partners with low body counts. Men also want casual sex from lots of women. This is a catch 22! Are some of us supposed to fall on the sword of having casual sex with many men to then accept we will never be wife material? If men slut shamed less than more casual sex would be available because women would just have sex when they wanted and with who they wanted - just like men! But instead we tamp down our desires so th…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 04:13 AM
6

Slut shaming is not irrelevant. More men (Chads and otherwise) would get casual sex if slut shaming wasn’t a thing. I offer myself as an example. I had a low number of sexual partners before I met my husband - but a very high sex drive. I went years without sex despite very much wanting it. I knew if I had casual sex with lots of partners, it would limit my options for an ltr as men would consider me used and easy (not wife material). Therefore, I limited myself. Chads getting hookups and averag…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 04:09 AM
3

I know you are joking but just fyi - some STIs can be undetectable for a time before they become detectable. I think this is what the commenter meant.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 03:56 AM
1

Sure he was 11 years older than me. No, I mean a general Chad. He was successful at getting hookups and many females at work crushed on him hard. I don’t mind sharing about my life tho I’m not sure what point you’re trying to make from it. We’ve gotten somewhat off topic of what I responded to initially. I have a question - as a redpillman - would you agree that whether or not you pay for a date is reflective of your level of attraction to the woman? Is the cost of the date (I.e nice restaurant …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 03:41 AM
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Looks threshold for Fwb? The average abusive fwb - he was in my friend group for years. He supported me through the my ex bf who took my vCard cheating on me and through our mutual friend passing away. He was less physically attractive than my husband but I was attracted to him and mistakenly believed he loved/cared for me though he never wanted to be official. This was a very complicated emotional mess and not at all based on a looks threshold. There were feelings here, low self worth, and grie…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 03:27 AM
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Never said they were! Glad we are on the same page!
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 03:06 AM
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You are of course within your rights to decide who would be good/bad for a relationship for you. I’ve just read many of your posts and you are either a troll - or delusional. I don’t believe that you’ve had any of the experiences with women that you claim. You don’t sound as if you’ve ever even met a woman nor do you view us as human. I recognize this sounds mean - but I honestly don’t mean it to. I think you’re in a very sad place (if not a troll) and are angry at women and more attractive men …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 03:04 AM
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I’m open to answering your two follow- up questions but I’m not sure I can give you the answers you’re looking for as my sexual history doesn’t line up well with your questions. Define quickly? The quickest (guy I knew for the least amount of time before sex) was my husband. I had sex with him after dating for one month (not sure number of dates, this was over a decade ago). I had sex with him before knowing him an extended time because he was all green flags and I hadn’t had sex in over a year …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 02:55 AM
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I haven’t had sex with a lot of guys that were available to me who I wanted to have sex with. My reasons had to do with a mix of them, me, and society (viewing women as sluts). It was never physical attraction alone. It was an intersection of different points and the guys didn’t always do something wrong or have the wrong look.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 02:22 AM
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You’re clearly dating for sex alone and not to get to know a woman as a person to find a partner. You had to put time and effort in? Oh the humanity! Seriously though, you’ll be a crappy husband and father if you expect to get by with low effort in relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 02:19 AM
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I’m going to try and reframe this one. People have sex with one another for more complicated reasons than looks alone. Personally, I never had sex on a first date - but let’s pretend I did engage in first date sex on occasion. Now, I meet Sal and Sal is extremely physically attractive to me. But maybe he says something on the date that makes me self-conscious or he comes off aggressive and I don’t feel fully safe with him. These things may not be deal breakers and I may want to keep seeing him (…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 02:12 AM
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Just weighing in here to say I find the pay for date assumption very illogical. I always offered to split. I didn’t think a guy was uninterested if he took me up on it unless there were other accompanying behaviors. It also never crossed my mind to wonder if he paid for other women but not for me. Dating is expensive, some men may have gotten used in the past and be wary, etc. Men paying for dates also makes them think they are entitled to getting physical cause they bought me an appetizer in a …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 01:54 AM
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Hottest answer on here. Agree fully. No notes. Waited with my husband - I fuck him every chance I get 11 years later.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 01:43 AM
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“This isn’t about entitlement” - yes it is. I don’t think you know the meaning of the word. Women aren’t required to offer all men equality with access to their bodies. We aren’t even required to offer all guys we like the same treatment. Relationships and intimacy are way more complicated than this hyper focus on looks/access to sex/past partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/24 01:40 AM
1

You said you found being relationship material to be an insult in your first post I responded too. I’m done, you have your warped view. I’m not kidding you - I’ve legit been on online dates with short busted looking guys who made it clear they wanted hookups not relationships. Again, more average guys get casual sex than you think AND I’m not saying they were successful - they were trying for it. I’m very attracted to my husband and fuck him every chance I get. He didn’t need to compensate for a…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 05:19 PM
1

I’m sorry but do you date men? I’m assuming not and I did (before marriage) therefore I think you should respect my experience. Plenty of truly average guys just wanted hookups because it seems fun, they want to try at being Chads, because it’s what they really wanted. Your statement about no average guy would do that was fundamentally untrue in my experience with both myself and friends hotter than me. I’m definitely not below average. In looks, personality, or wife material. No, it’s not only …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 04:17 PM
1

Women point 2 - I disagree that it was my experience that it was easy to find relationships as a woman. I’m an average woman, not unattractive, not Victoria secret model. Mostly men wanted sex (most did not get it) from me, not relationships. Men are the gatekeeper of relationships. Men I went out with/met (from average to Chads) were mostly focused on trying to play the hookup game. Maybe if you’re a female Chad - finding a relationship would be easy. But, to quote the Glass Menagerie (play), i…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 03:07 PM
7

Did you even read beyond that? I made counterpoints. I’m not having a mental breakdown. The only mental breakdown is men thinking they shouldn’t be required to pay child support for children they father when they didn’t wanna wear a condom or get snipped.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 06:35 AM
6

Yes, women can keep their legs closed. I’m not saying that women shouldn’t own responsibility. They do by nature of having and raising the child. I even said in my earlier post that a woman should have to pay child support if the man has custody. I should add that men don’t want women to keep their legs closed. Pregnancy isn’t an “opt out” situation. It requires a traumatic medical procedure. One that isn’t even available is many states anymore. Both parties do have the ability to prevent. The d…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 06:25 AM
7

I don’t understand the point you are making because you’re not making the point you think you are. Yes, abortion is okay if the woman wants it. A man cannot prevent it from happening because it’s not their body. If pregnancy happens and the man and woman agree on abortion, abortion is okay. If pregnancy happens, woman does not want an abortion but man does - man cannot force abortion. Not his body, not his choice. This is just biology, men don’t get pregnant (take it up with God or nature). Yes,…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 06:04 AM
6

No, she should not. I don’t think you intended to respond to me as this was not the topic of conversation. Pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum are extremely physically and emotionally challenging times in women’s lives. If you haven’t lived it, you can’t understand it. It can also be a significant risk to the health of the woman. A man should not be able to force a woman to carry to term. Plus if a woman doesn’t want the child, is the father prepared to take full custody at birth (with mother …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 05:40 AM
3

Yes, this was a big part of my reasoning too. In fact I just said this in another subreddit about dating. I always offered to pay my half so that the guy didn’t feel I owed him sex for buying me an appetizer at a bar. My husband and I were also not one night stand/casual sex people.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 05:36 AM
1

I’m all on board with Canada paying for paternity tests! (I’m also on board with Canada annexing the US).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 04:32 AM
2

This is so weird to me “bro you aren’t good enough for a hookup but are good enough for a relationship”. This does seem to truly be an insult to men. Did you know that for women, it’s actually the opposite? Do you know how insulting it is to be viewed as a woman “good enough to have sex with” but not good enough for a relationship? I’d much rather someone wanted me for a relationship because then they are genuinely attracted to me sexually and as a person. Why would men prefer to be meat?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 04:29 AM
2

Yeah…sorry your point makes no sense. It’s a catch 22. There is no woman who has sex with you on date 1 and is also either a virgin or has a very low body count (1-3 say). If a woman has sex with you on a first date, she’s likely had sex with (and will go on to have sex with ) many guys on first dates. You cannot expect a woman to have casual sex immediately with you but also be a low body count/virginal individual. Women who are more conservative with who they have sex with, are not fucking you…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 04:14 AM
3

Same my husband and I discussed our pasts early on, but not in detail. We gave a number and described our general approach to sex (i.e. neither of us had ever had a one night stand and preferred sex to occur within committed relationships). Other than that, we don’t discuss.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 04:04 AM
4

I mean - idk if I agree with that. I had no issue splitting bills when dating though it did feel good when men insisted. My husband did, but I paid for our third date. I’d be open to going 50/50 with a guy who previously paid for another woman. Mostly because I know men get used financially at times. I would want them to feel like they don’t have to support me while getting to know me. Just my two cents.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 04:00 AM
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I’d change your title to “men of all ages enjoy interacting with/looking at women between 18-30 because they are in their physical prime”. There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging the attractiveness of women in a certain age range. But power dynamics are absolutely a thing. Older men (and women) do groom younger individuals who have not yet secured themselves financially or educationally.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 03:40 AM
5

K come talk to me when NICU bills are covered. When our veterans aren’t homeless and receiving second rate healthcare. Until then men can pay for their own paternity tests.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 03:37 AM
6

Yes, in general, this is the US approach to taxes. But I maintain that in the US - paternity test coverage is not the priority. We are charged for pregnancy appointments, hospital bills, NICU etc. There is no paid leave. I’m sorry but we have so many better priorities for tax dollars in terms of reproduction. From contraception to supporting new births. This paternity thing really should be taken care of by the participating parties in the US.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 03:29 AM
10

Tax dollars will benefit far more by providing contraception. If you haven’t spent much time in the US - we don’t take lightly to how our tax dollars are spent, see our failing health system and how it bankrupts us! We held a whole revolution against Britain as colonies due to taxation. We have a lot of priorities in the US for taxes being cut and how our tax dollars are spent. This isn’t the hill to be fighting for.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 03:22 AM
7

Just checking for clarity. Men should not have to pay child support for children that are not biologically theirs - with the exception of situations where they adopted a non-biological child. However, men should have to financially support children that they sired (outside of a sperm donation situation) if they are biologically theirs. They don’t get to just decide they don’t want to - which is a constant argument on Reddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 03:19 AM
10

Well because in the US, the govt does not pay for birth control or condoms or anything. I’d rather see tax dollars go towards that than paternity tests. Nothing against paternity tests but the parties wanting them should pay. They engaged in the deed and are looking for a specific outcome. My tax dollars can go elsewhere thanks.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 03:10 AM
6

Did you mean to say that “even when paternity is disproven, men still have to pay child support”? Because what you wrote sounds like you’re saying that a man, who is found to be the biological father by a court provided test, is required to pay child support. Of course he is, that’s his kid.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/24 03:05 AM
1

You’re not giving anyone a taste of their own medicine. You’re just going to wind up sexless and alone with this outlook. Individuals of both genders are attracted to certain individuals and not to others. Sexual attraction is complicated and based on many factors. People can’t help who they are attracted to. Before I met my husband, there was a guy who was into me. Objectively, he’s as good looking as my husband. Like if random people rated them both - they’d probably be rated about the same. H…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 09:18 PM
1

Sexual chemistry is definitely more than looks. You have to want a similar frequency and enjoy similar acts. Wanting to enjoy sexual chemistry early on with someone is not compatible with the virgin girl ideal…I see that as an impossible catch 22 for women. Especially when men want sex to check compatibility for relationships. One note - think about changing “she is not suitable for a relationship” to something along the lines of “we are not compatible”. The red pill language is triggering at ti…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 03:21 PM
2

You can have conversations about sex - including preferences, desires, frequency, kinks, etc. without allowing a man who doesn’t care about you to penetrate your body. Sure it’s not the same as whether you’re good together in bed but communication between two caring partners can cure most problems. But your concern about getting head can be hashed out with a convo.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 04:15 AM
1

Do you read your own comments? You clearly judge women for their body count but also think they should add you to their body count asap. Like that won’t hurt their chances of finding a husband?! You just assume all women sleep with other men right away? What if she doesn’t? I’m a woman, and I know a lot of women. With the exception of one friend who has mental health stuff - we are all solidly around the 5-6 body count range at late 30s-40. We are also married. Most of us have never had one nigh…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 04:07 AM
2

You won’t end up alone most likely. I also decided I was looking for someone up to my standards and wouldn’t settle for less. It took many dates and years but I met my husband and it was absolutely worth it to not get distracted. Nothing you listed is what I typically see from other “red pill men” and doesn’t seem unreasonable. Good luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 03:45 AM
2

“Nothing and nobody makes men hate women more than their experience with women.” “I’ve earned my stripes.” Let me recap my relationship experience with men. ⁠High school boyfriend of one month. Began hitting me, in public. ⁠High school boyfriend of a year and three months. Took my vCard after one year of dating to find out he’d been cheating on me the whole freaking time with 3 different girls. ⁠Wound up in a friends with benefits situation on and off for the next three years. By the end of this…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 03:39 AM
6

This is all sad. You need some counseling to understand why you don’t see women as people. But rather as sex parts of varying levels of attractiveness. No one is gonna want a part of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/24 03:21 AM
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Sounds like a cop out to excuse hiding your intentions to get more sex. But you do you.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 01:31 PM
1

Disagree - go hang out in “waiting to wed”. Men don’t want to share but they also don’t always take steps to “lock her down”.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 05:14 AM
1

“Have sex with them while pretending to be interested in commitment” - can we please acknowledge this is sexual abuse? You’re lying/manipulating to use someone’s body. You’d think it is financial abuse if a woman strung a man along using him for his money, wouldn’t you? Of course! When males/females want commitment is different from person to person. Personally I always wanted commitment when younger but found most males did not. Too busy sowing wild oats and racking up bedpost numbers.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 05:12 AM
1

This isn’t as groundbreaking as you’re making it out to be. Men have always been the gatekeepers of relationships. They don’t put effort or commitment into women they just want hookups with and when they do, it’s to be intentionally manipulative to get the outcome they desire (sex). For the record, we don’t want to be the mid-Betty you’re getting your body count up with. Be up front that that’s who we are to you so we can make informed decisions. I often hear that being the stable guy women “set…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 04:53 AM
1

I very much appreciate (and agree with) your flair.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 04:28 AM
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Effective for what outcome? My earlier point stands. If by “effective” you mean more women will sleep with you even if some may be misled - then yup. If by “effective” you mean finding a woman on the same page as you without using/misleading anyone - then no.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 04:17 AM
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I still dont think you’d turn off women who are open to casual by stating that is your intention. And the term “better approach” - is open to interpretation based on hoped for outcomes. If not being upfront is the “better approach” because some women will think you’re genuinely interested when you aren’t and sleep with you, then I guess it is. But if “better approach” is treating others respectfully - then your honesty is your path.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 04:00 AM
1

Ha! Clearly you’ve never satisfied a woman. It’s very normal for women to enjoy sex. You’ve gotta be a troll.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 03:44 AM
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Correct, honesty isn’t the issue. You should be honest about what you’re looking for. What your friends are saying doesn’t even make sense…women open to casual would be turned off by your stating that you want casual? That’s like saying if I want spaghetti tonight and you tell me you’re making spaghetti I would then be turned off by you making me spaghetti?! It sounds like what your friends are actually advising is to not be up front about your lack of interest in any kind of commitment in order…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/24 03:22 AM
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