MtnRnrTCK Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
5	Discussion : Let’s have some positivity :-) How many times have you shown your woman emotions and been vulnerable and it’s made her more attracted to you? Ahhh! This is so sad! And frustrating. I'm appreciative there was a post a few days back that acknowledged that unhealthy/unhealed women are usually the ones unable to handle a male partner's emotions. I'm also noticing there's a lot of need for validation in this sub (understandable), but that probably means tendencies that are going to attract unhealthy partners (narcissistic leaning), which I think highlights some reasons it hasn't gone down so well for so many here, especially in addition to…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/23 04:57 PM
0	Men shouldn't show their emotions to women This conversation is the best part of this thread. Thank you! The only thing I'd add is that in addition to the societal expectations regarding gender and emotional expression and how that impacts how different people's emotions are received and that healthy relationships require emotional vulnerability on both sides, I'm beginning to think a lot of folks here have some tendencies that might be considered co-dependent (inability to be authentic/show emotion for fear of abandonment/putting the re…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/07/23 04:19 PM
0	Outside of dating apps, how are you supposed to start a relationship? I get someone, societally almost always the guy, has to initiate the interaction. And totally, my husband did. I absolutely acknowledge that and give him credit for that. That's why I wrote what I did. You don't have to emulate me... there was another perspective. His. But if he hadn't been running in the first place, he would not have had the same opening. I was comfortable smiling/nodding at him, because it was clear we had something in common (running a rough trail everyday and we were the on…	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/07/23 02:45 PM
9	Outside of dating apps, how are you supposed to start a relationship? I never lasted more than an hour on a dating app. It felt so weird and there was just too much anxiety. Do things that you enjoy outside. You'll meet other people who enjoy the same things, friends and potential partners. I run. I saw the same guy heading the opposite direction as me almost every morning on my route also running. Eventually, we started smiling and nodding at each other. After a month of this, he flagged me down and asked for local trail beta. We ultimately exchanged contact info…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/07/23 09:23 PM
1	Do women typically not like the guys in her social circles? At best, I guess I've noticed at best that certain male friends are attractive, but I'm not attracted to them. For example, I have a friend who I recognize is ridiculously conventionally attractive, but while I can empathize with him as a friend and enjoy his company and personality, I knew immediately he wouldn't be a good match for me, so even on a physiological level, I unconsciously ruled him out. I'm literally not attracted to him and never have been. Noticing that he's attractive is like n…	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/06/23 07:42 PM
4	CMV : I feel a lot of posters still envision the “average” couple as some weird “wall mart” 35 year old man and woman who walked out of a 90’s time capsule Similar observations, with some differences, in a different context... I often wonder where the folks who make most of the observations about averages and about dating live. Sometimes, because of the dating dynamics, I think cities. But because of the "average schlub" stuff, I think the midwestern US sometimes. It's probably a mix, but it definitely seems different from my real life observations too. But I've lived mostly in super active American mountain towns, so 40 and even 50-year-olds where…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/06/23 09:58 PM
1	CMV : I feel a lot of posters still envision the “average” couple as some weird “wall mart” 35 year old man and woman who walked out of a 90’s time capsule I often wonder where the folks who make most of the observations about averages and about dating live. Sometimes, because of the dating dynamics, I think cities. But because of the "average schlub" stuff, I think the midwestern US sometimes. It's probably a mix, but it definitely seems different from my real life observations too. But I've lived mostly in super active American mountain towns, so 40 and even 50-year-olds where I live are physically fitter (and often look it) than 25-year-olds in …	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/06/23 09:53 PM
3	Why do you think there is so much anger towards promiscuous women? I get the “cheapen” thing, but I only half agree. Sex with a partner you’re married to or are pretty sure you’re spending the rest of your life with is… different. The trust, knowing, and connection definitely changes things. The difference between “having sex” and “making love,” perhaps. In that case, making love is definitely one of the most beautiful and intimate things we can experience. 100%. But regular ‘ol sex is pretty fun, and I don’t have a problem with people who want more of that. I’…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/06/23 11:41 PM
1	Should people protest this issue, if they believe in it? It's definitely individual and varied, but wasn't there that old school "rule" that the youngest person you could date was half your age plus 7, meaning the age gap could increase with age? So a (despite age of consent) a 20yo could date a 17+yo (max 3 years), but a 50yo could date a 32+yo (max 18 years). Obviously, couples age together, so I always assumed it referred to new relationships. And it's an artificial metric that obviously doesn't take into account nuance and the individuals in quest…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/06/23 08:05 PM
1	Do older woman really think older men date younger woman cause they are easier? A. The OP’s question was around why older women get protective of younger women who date older men. I answered that it is because we remember how naive we were and how much we’ve learned via life experience since then. We know more than we know now. Plus, many of us experienced interactions with older men in which it was clear they didn’t want partners, but something a little more controllable. I acknowledge this is not a universal experience, just a common one. B. I never said younger women sho…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/06/23 03:48 AM
3	Question for Purple/BP-ish: What are your Purple views? There’s a lot in this topic, and it’s near and dear to me, but I 100% agree. I don’t think it’s a new issue by any stretch, but you sure are receiving a lot of mixed messages right now as we go through the complex societal changes we’re observing right now. As you pointed to, I’ve felt the repercussions of that confusion, hurt, anger, and even trauma, in my romantic relationships and friendships with men. I definitely feel for you and want to do what I can to help build those bridges of understa…	/r/PurplePillDebate	23/06/23 01:21 AM
4	Question for Purple/BP-ish: What are your Purple views? I could write a lot, but I think I can sum it up as that I see a lot of people suffering. A lot of those people are men. I think men’s mental (and especially emotional and spiritual) health is overlooked. And it makes me sad. Healthy people of all kinds make for a better society. So, I want to learn about the issues men face and create space for them in my conversations and work towards mutual support and understanding in general so we can build a healthier society for all.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/06/23 09:03 PM
–	Do older woman really think older men date younger woman cause they are easier? I hear you, and maybe there is a generational component. Quality parenting is slipping? Millennials with our participation trophies? Who knows? Different topic, regardless. But to attempt to answer your questions, at 21, I was dating my college bf, who had 2 years on me. I “dated” the 47yo at 26, a 21 year age gap. But sure, I might’ve been impressed by a 27yo at 21, depending on his life experience. The 47yo seemed knowledgeable, sophisticated, and well-traveled. Cool for a couple dates, but no…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/06/23 08:15 PM
–	Do older woman really think older men date younger woman cause they are easier? I can understand that perspective, however, I don’t really believe that that 47-year-old, however well- intentioned, could’ve “taught” me about life. He told me about it, but I learned through living (and not a very hedonistic or corporate-oriented life, with 3 LTRs, including my marriage, no ONSs, and being primarily in science. Relatively sheltered, but with enough freedom to learn. I really don’t think I would’ve gotten that with the older guy). I really value the lived knowledge I obtained, …	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/06/23 06:30 PM
26	Do older woman really think older men date younger woman cause they are easier? At 32, I don’t know if I qualify as older, except on this sub. I’m married anyways, so I’m not looking to impress, just share how I conceptualize this without strong emotions based on personal experience, though I’m sure someone won’t believe me. I’m a competitive distance runner and had a “baby face” in my teens/early 20s. So basically, until the end of college+, I kind of had the body of a 12-year-old boy and looked like a child. Outside of other science majors, like myself, I didn’t really ge…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/06/23 02:22 PM
3	What is exactly emotional labour which women do? I like the “knight in shining armor” analogy better, so I get it. You are probably “fathering” but it feels so much cringier to say that. So yeah… I get that. But, regardless, parenting a partner is unhealthy no matter what.	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/06/23 12:19 AM
1	What is exactly emotional labour which women do? I’m not say men don’t do emotional labor. I’m not say women do more. In healthy relationships, the burden of emotional labor is EQUAL. If it’s not, the relationship is unhealthy, because at least one person in it is unhealthy. Probably both, if one needs boundaries (which, to be fair, are flexible in a relationship, but not nonexistent) and the other disregards them. They need to talk about what’s okay for them. Probably figure out individual attachment issues, etc. and learn to show love in a w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	21/06/23 12:02 AM
2	What is exactly emotional labour which women do? Hahaha… I could have written this about my experience with men. So could a lot of my female friends and, yes, some of my male friends about women. I guess here I’ll just point out again women are often expected to naturally “mother” unhealed men, and men are often asked to “stay strong” for unhealed women. Neither expectation is fair. We’re all just human with our own baggage. And we all just need love, including self-love. It’s hard to see what’s average outside of our own experiences, but I gu…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/06/23 09:39 PM
1	What is exactly emotional labour which women do? Yeah. Not in mine, but until I healed my codependency (MY responsibility), I tended to attract traumatized men or men that needed something they thought they could get from me, even though they could only get it from themselves. So I’m just going with it depends on the health of the individual and whether they’ve had to learn to be responsible for their own emotions or set them aside, regardless, for others. It’s taxing on anyone to be responsible for anyone else’s baggage.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/06/23 09:08 PM
9	What is exactly emotional labour which women do? Women are fine with vulnerability, but they do not want to be emotional regulators for their partner. They aren't therapists and a lot of men think "emotional vulnerability" means trauma dumping or that they don't have to be in control of their emotions any longer, which isn't the case. Yeah, I’m beginning to think we need to better define trauma dumping and not acting as a therapist means. Telling women about trauma, even deep trauma, is fine as long as you aren’t expecting a certain response o…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/06/23 08:54 PM
1	Your view on the opposite sex and how you think it affects your sex and dating life For sure. But I’m going to add that I’m only including people I actually know/have met. Same goes for members of the same sex. I’ll add, however, I assume I’ll like members of the opposite sex in higher number than members of the same sex before getting to know them, mostly because have personal issues around feelings of belonging. But I ultimately end up liking/seeing the good in most people after spending time with them. They kind of have to prove they’re awful for me to dislike them.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/06/23 06:19 PM