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Mud_Blossom Archive

View 1 post and 170 comments by Mud_Blossom on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

This thread is more proof that nobody hates women more than women and their too-online allies. If I didn't know women with actual strength and conviction in real life and just read this thread, I'd be fooled into thinking women were fragile, weak, and without agency.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 12:20 AM
–

No, this is your perspective, and I think it has a lot in common with the perspective of those who feel entitled to men's (people's, most likely) inner thoughts and feelings. Men are generally not "emotionally shut down" for every woman. They might be emotionally cautious around women (or people in general, really) who are cruel, emotionally abusive, or simply unsafe. You have to know that, right? In the case of the young woman posting here, she thinks she's entitled to men emotionally opening u…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 06:00 PM
–

No, this is normal for people, not just men. Much as most people don't allow someone they barely know into their beds, most people don't allow someone they barely know into their hearts. This idea is only bizarre to people without matured emotional self-regulation or who don't understand basic social interaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 05:49 PM
2

Is this another thread in which women don't have agency or will and cannot make a choice for themselves, so they just give in to whatever men are demanding? Some of the women here hate women almost as much as the right-wingers on Twitter do.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 05:38 PM
–

No, people do not benefit from being emotionally available to everyone. Why would anyone expect someone who went out on two dates with them to be fully emotionally available? That is earned. Be a safe person over enough time to engender trust and more people will open up emotionally to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 05:30 PM
1

These threads always frame all violence as physical. Women are as violent as men. They just tend to choose emotional violence over physical violence when they commit violence upon others, which is wise in a diabolical way. It leaves no marks and doesn't show up on a stat sheet.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 05:28 PM
1

Maybe she should be worth being emotionally available for. Many women simply aren't. I'm sure many men and NBs aren't either, but I never had relationships with any of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 10:42 PM
1

And "not over my ex" is a nice way of saying "I'm not attracted to you." Some people take everything at face value, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 10:40 PM
1

This always worked for me. If, rather than just being friendly, they really like you, they will step outside of gendered norms and be more direct. I would just focus my attention on those women if I was interested back.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 04:13 PM
–

Nah, I want these conservatives as marginalized as they want me marginalized.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 12:24 AM
10

There is no issue. She isn't entitled to deeper commitment. Maybe she (and people like her) should get a kick out of clarifying what they want earlier.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 12:23 AM
5

Great, she exercises her agency. Next time, she should take the lead on this conversation since it may be more important to her than it is to her partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 12:22 AM
1

Yup. Young women and girls are struggling on our area. Too online, not resilient, struggling more with meeting outcomes in school. The pandemic did a number on everyone, I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 10:08 PM
1

Great, precedent for the next Dem president not wasting my tax money on Kansans or Nebraskans or whomever until they prove that they can stay solvent on their own instead of needing to wealth beg from prosperous blue states.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 10:05 PM
3

But there is no evidence he did She let herself think otherwise and didn't use her big girl words. Did you know that women have agency or do you believe in sexist tropes that men need to read their minds and do all the emotional work for them?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 10:03 PM
5

No, I would say the same thing to the dude. Why are you out here spending money on a woman who isn't meeting your needs? Bad assumption on your part. Unless the woman in question told the guy she wanted a relationship while knowingly not wanting one, it's not her issue. Or do you think that his spending money on her means he is owed sex/a relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 10:02 PM
0

True. The men here make that claim, but men who are at least somewhat attractive aren't going to invest in unattractive women. You have to suffer a lot of nice but blandly average women (and a few losers) before you find a woman worth committing to IME.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 09:59 PM
2

No one was being used based on this story. Why do some of you think that if a woman isn't getting one hundred percent of what she wants out of a relationship, regardless of if it romantic or platonic, she is being used?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 07:19 PM
26

No, but women have agency and should speak up or leave if the relationship isn't to their liking. She isn't entitled to marriage, a ring, a ceremony, or commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 06:37 PM
6

True. Someone needs to tell the too-online women that dominate the dating subs about this so they can stop talking about the degree, career, and/or house they acquired while lamenting that no one will commit to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 05:36 PM
8

It is for some women, at least based on my experiences. There are even women here who would probably disagree. Personally, I never found casual sex with a woman worth it. Women are terrible in bed unless they actually deeply like you and want to make an effort. Risking disease or eighteen years of child support ain't worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 04:41 PM
6

"Don't listen to what they say, watch what they do" is great advice in general. Humans lie, dissemble, and espouse beliefs that they don't follow all the time. Yes, this includes women in relationships. Shocking, I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 04:36 PM
6

This is the same for men. Lots of "give her a chance, why are you so shallow," particularly from female friends, but also from some male friends. You've just made up this discrepancy in your head and decided that it was true. You need to go outside and spend time with actual humans who feel this sort of pressure when rejecting someone who they don't find attractive. I have had to dodge the "but why don't you like her, she's such a sweet girl" question back in my dating days more than a few times…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 11:54 PM
8

Women finding hot men hot is seen as normal. Your argument doesn't hold any water.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 11:46 PM
5

Nah, I do all the cooking and we split the chores. I don't know who you are, so I can't be following you around. Maybe instead of getting frustrated at random internet commenters, you redirect that energy positively. You could always stop getting mad that you can't attract the daddy therapist with a wallet that you think you deserve and figure out how to be a whole person instead. Therapy is great for this sort of thing. You won't find answers by getting mad at online randoms.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 11:45 PM
7

Most women can't cook and don't do much maintenance, so no. This is 2026, not 1926. A surprising amount of women want a dad/therapist who listens to their incessant complaints and kills bugs for them. Some accusations are confessions, I find.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 10:48 PM
10

Nope. Men's sexuality is demonized in Western culture. Then again, most people's sexuality is demonized, the odd pop singer or movie star aside. This is pretty much a genders-wide experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 10:46 PM
1

Women are still very conservative. A large minority of women voted for Trump. We could discuss this more fully, but the mods here insist that issues of gender don't intersect with other issues, so alas.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 10:31 PM
1

I work out every day, so no worries there. Your fattie fantasy that the men who reject you are also fat is pathetic. Put down the fork and pick up a barbell.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 10:30 PM
3

Bodybuilder =/= works out and builds muscle. What a silly false equivalence you tried to slip into this conversation. No, the U.S. suddenly isn't a nation of bodybuilders. Yes, considerably more men weight train than women and will be overweight by BMI while being perfectly fit.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 10:21 PM
1

Sure, the dregs and losers struggle with those messages. Normies really don't, at least the educated ones. People on this very sub say that women generally don't worry about these myths, are happy single, are finding men after thirty, etc., and those statements are largely true!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 10:19 PM
3

Not really. There's no need to do any social engineering to make miserable single people be miserable coupled-up people.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 06:06 PM
2

No, people who are mentally healthy don't pay attention to this stuff. There is plenty of cultural pressure on women to put careers first, delay marriage, etc., in urban areas, but the women who do these things do them because they want to. They aren't weak-minded slaves to messaging. And the ones who don't...just don't. They get married and stop working so much outside of the home or have kids. This is true for most people. They generally do what they want, at least among the college-educated u…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 06:05 PM
0

Because it's true.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 06:01 PM
2

That's by BMI. Men do more weightlifting than women. More men are overweight by BMI because they are muscular, more than enough to close that gap.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 06:00 PM
1

"Better" doesn't mean "good."
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 05:58 PM
7

How weak-minded do you think women are? The women I know aren't this pathetic. They want relationships because they prefer them not because they believe this stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 05:26 PM
1

Like most things in a relationship, cleaning either needs to be negotiated or you need to find someone who is happy with your level of cleaning. Pew Research shows that women spend about an extra half-hour cleaning. Even when self-reported, it's 35 more minutes. That's it. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/feature/how-do-u-s-men-and-women-spend-their-time/ Women also sleep slightly more and do less paid labor, so the gap evens out, generally. You have to remember that online in places li…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 05:25 PM
1

I don't know, but a surprising amount of women who are like this complain about not being able to get the partner they think they deserve. You should ask them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 05:18 PM
1

Exactly right. And the same with cleaning. Men are not responsible for any woman's neurosis over a clean house still not being clean enough. If women want a cleaner house, they can do it themselves or pay someone to do it, but whining about it is so unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 05:15 PM
-2

"If a couple loves each other, they accommodate to the person with a higher sex drive instead of being frigid and throwing a tantrum."
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 05:14 PM
-1

You should have whatever standard you want. Most men will not care if you don't date them because your concept of cleanliness might be neurotic.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 05:13 PM
11

Women can be great friends, but they tend to expect a level of emotional entanglement that I have never been interested in. Not always, of course, but often. Dudes just need to set and maintain firm sharing boundaries with female friends. Many women for whatever reason love the idea of having platonic male friends, so men should know that if one is a boundary pusher, there is always a better female friend out there for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 03:27 AM
5

This is untrue. Women wouldn't push for (and in my experience, sometimes even weirdly fixate on) being friends with men if they felt they were taking on any risk. Yet they do this all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 03:24 AM
2

You are wrong, and repeating this nonsense won't make it so.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 02:18 PM
7

The drives of all my partners past and current were lower than mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 02:16 PM
7

Men aren't competing with anything. They aren't a product competing for shelf space. This also goes for women and NB people.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 06:16 PM
1

Disagree. I just don't think this stuff is super-valuable to many men. We have our own careers and money and are expected to take care of ourselves, so when pairing for mating, we generally focus on looks + personality. Not all men, exceptions certainly apply, etc. I think some portion of women find refuge in this thinking because they value career/earnings and assume that what they find valuable should be valued by men in turn.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 06:06 PM
1

Nah. Elon is ugly. Trump is ugly. Money comes first. Meanwhile, being able to always be in a relationship didn't suddenly make me rich even if I apparently was desirable to a surprising (to me at the time) amount of conventionally attractive women.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 06:11 PM
1

Not really. If you want privilege, go make money.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 06:08 PM
2

Sure. But why would you care unless your life goals were so small and useless that "be desirable to a lot of people" was at the top of that list?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 06:04 PM
2

Because the complaints men and women have about one another live at those poles, at least online. There are certainly people who are healthily living within the spectrum of sharing, but "men under share/share wrong" and "women consistently over share" seem to be oft-complained about issues, and not only in this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 06:02 PM
–

I think this is true broadly in that you can't surveil your partner. You have to trust them until you are given evidence otherwise to have a healthy relationship, and once you can't, you leave. But IDK about the text of the OP's post.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 05:57 PM
1

I can't speak to the men you know or date, so I can't answer that. But any human who complains and dumps how they feel on others is going to be an emotional burden. People who do that should maybe get a therapist or, if that's too expensive, not spend large chunks of their relationship complaining about their lives to their partners? If I have an issue, I fix it instead of making my wife also feel bad about it. That doesn't mean I don't ever open up. That means that I consider how she is feeling…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 05:55 PM
1

No, you don't. I was selective about relationships when I was single. I must have been desirable because I was a broke, underweight dude and had plenty of options. Didn't have to actually sleep with women who wanted to do so without asking for commitment to know as much. Even so, if the big question in anyone's life that they need to answer is " How desirable am I to the opposite sex," they should consider how small and pathetic that question is.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 05:47 PM
2

Opening up whenever you feel you need to - trauma-dumping or consistently complaining - might be healthy for you, but certainly not to the person whom you are dumping on.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 05:43 PM
3

Trying to improve oneself to sleep with women would be the saddest shit ever. Women should be incidental to whatever you are doing for yourself. Men hit their thirties and forties and finally start to figure this out. We need to get this message established for young men and teens.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 05:42 PM
2

Nah, I want to fly. Even if I was into mind control sex - which I am not, gross - most women aren't particularly attractive and are bad in bed, so it'd be a little-used power. But flying? Hell yeah. Maybe teleportation over flying, actually.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 02:40 PM
6

Why don't women open up less instead? Can they not internally deal with their own problems? What if they kept a lot of the daily complaining about their jobs or friendships for their therapist? Why do some too-online women think that their partner is another free therapist to vent at while also demanding strict parameters for what men open up about and how they go about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 02:39 PM
2

No, I am complaining about not being able to wear a hoodie without being harassed or followed in certain places. Thankfully, I have not yet been shot for wearing a hoodie and looking 'suspicious." And again, Atlas and McFadden existed well before modern feminism. Steroid culture has existed since the 1970s. Harmful dieting and supplement use for men has been a thing without any influence from feminism. Hell, so have lifts for men's shoes.Men have always been pressured to uphold their own beauty …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 02:35 PM
5

This sounds nonsensical. Men have always operated under beauty standards, and specifically as a non-white male, I have had to fit a beauty standard to defuse racial stereotypes that might harm me were I to dress more casually or style my hair in ways that were outside of acceptable norms. Like, Charles Atlas and Bernarr McFadden existed a long time ago! Men have always been held to beauty standards by other men as well as women! That podcast seems ignorant of history.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 05:47 AM
3

Sure, but that also works in reverse. Why go on a date with a broke bitch when there are women who actually are competent enough to hold down a job and pay their own way? Before I got married, there were plenty of available women who were up for splitting a date, and a couple of them bought me drinks (and I definitely got them back because I don't freeload). I can't imagine paying for some brokie's meal. Then again, I always dated people who I got to know first and who weren't just begging for f…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 01:48 AM
1

I think your argument is for the birds.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 01:43 AM
–

Statistics actually show that women are more likely to marry healthy, financially secure men in the first place. The women themselves are incidental to the health and financial success of these men. They would be healthy and wealthy with or without their partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 09:57 PM
–

You are wrong. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2025/01/16/men-women-and-social-connections/ https://www.campaigntoendloneliness.org/press-release/half-a-million-more-people-are-lonely-all-or-most-of-the-time/
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 12:13 AM
–

No they aren't. Women are exactly as lonely as men by the numbers. This post is sad-sack shit. It's a pathetic post whining about women not being the right type of lonely for your tastes.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 06:35 PM
0

Women are as lonely, and in some cases lonelier than men: https://www.campaigntoendloneliness.org/press-release/half-a-million-more-people-are-lonely-all-or-most-of-the-time/ If Reddit's dating subthreads are any indication, it's mostly a bunch of women who feel entitled to commitment and partners who fit the tiring and tiresome role of benevolent, patient fathers who play after-work therapist for them. They are constantly whining about how their jobs or degrees haven't landed them the men they …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 06:44 AM
–

I was civil.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 06:34 AM
3

No, you made it about race when you said MEN because you lied. Not every demographic of men did this to the country...but every gender of white people did. And now you want to cry "you made it about race" when I called you out for trying to be slick and tar black men as voting for this when your sisters are the real reason this country is in the state it is in. And don't try to hide behind black women, either. It's disgusting. Every day, Audre Lorde is proven more right.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 07:52 PM
2

Yeah, so WHITE PEOPLE, which includes white WOMEN. So not MEN, which incorrectly includes BLACK men. Get it right, please.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 07:48 PM
–

No, it's just an appropriately flippant response to an equally flippant post, which is obvious if you can comprehend what you read.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 07:46 PM
–

I'm not your bro, first of all. Anyway, because women are people too, they are just as susceptible to mainlining sexist garbage online and internalizing it as men. https://youtu.be/dQRKL4BxrEM?si=EEZ6ILR5iZ7c6JzF https://www.newstatesman.com/cover-story/2026/04/meet-the-angry-young-women-why-young-women-dont-want-to-date-me https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/dec/29/welcome-to-the-femosphere-the-latest-dark-toxic-corner-of-the-internet-for-women Where have you been? News media has finally fig…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 07:45 PM
0

Yeah, real mental and emotional strength is having to drug yourself into a stupor and pay someone to describe your seemingly unending list of failures to so that you can function another day on this earth. Fantastic point.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 07:39 PM
1

Again, white women voted for Trump in the majority, just like white men. Black men didn't come close to doing that. Be accurate: More WHITE FOLKS voted for Donald Trump.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 07:34 PM
2

No, massively elected by white people. This slick shit where white women ignore the problems in their own house is tired.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 07:32 PM
2

Men already are, bruh. They're called Republicans here in the U.S. I'm not interested in any of that shit. Why would I want to make life harder for women?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 07:29 PM
–

Women are trusting men less because they are increasingly a bunch of too-online weirdos inhabiting the femosphere. That is the only reason that is relevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 07:27 PM
–

They are work. They should not be HARD WORK, or at least not regularly outside of life crises. If you're making a relationship HARD WORK all the time, then you want drama to obsess over and not a real relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 07:25 PM
-1

I don't accept the premise that women don't need men in 2026, nor the reverse of that premise.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 07:16 PM
1

So you're saying Ira Levin had a point? (Levin did have half of a point; you could gender flip a story like Stepford and it would read roughly the same.)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 07:14 PM
1

Men really don't rely on women for this. I think the bigger issue for men is that the dominant authority figures in their lives from a young age are mostly women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 07:12 PM
3

I think this switch is only among younger men, particularly those who are too online. Men over thirty mostly seem to value their bachelorhood
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 06:58 PM
-2

Men probably can't benefit from being on SSRI cocktails.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 06:55 PM
0

This refers to a set of younger single men. Men over thirty are not having these issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 05:57 PM
-2

No, what's manipulative is to imply that physical abuse is the only possible reason that a man could complain about being abused, then getting called on it and trying to pretend that you did it on purpose because the men here are bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 07:50 PM
3

Does it not? "Don't have sex with him early so he values you" is presented as a legitimate dating strategy by men AND women.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 07:36 PM
2

This is a silly idea. They compromise to have sex with someone who has made their own decision to have sex with them. I believe that women have agency. Why don't you? Your post is extremely misogynistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 07:12 PM
1

This is an interesting idea. I don't entirely disagree, and I get your reasoning, but I think the more jaded you are about dating, you're just as likely to accept a relationship that isn't the one you've envisioned. It is just as likely that you accept a situationship that you'd prefer was an LTR or revise your relationship requirements to be less picky. Alas, I only have anecdotal evidence of this (though in preponderance). And I think considering the loneliness epidemic that all genders are fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 07:06 PM
3

Maybe. Again, men have higher standards for sex partners than most people seem to think on this sub. I have turned down casual sex with a couple of women because I wasn't attracted to them (and if I were, I would have tried to get an LTR instead). I have had male friends do the same and female friend express frustration that they couldn't even get laid sans commitment by the guy they liked. Which of course goes back to being picky and then having the gall to complain about the results.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 06:47 PM
4

You are right. You only need one. A large amount of women can't even get the one, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 06:38 PM
1

Most guys into casual sex don't think about it that way, IME. They think about it in terms of what they are willing to do to maintain the casual sex arrangement. Less attractive woman? Less likely to give them even a small hint of the boyfriend experience, drive miles to their place for sex, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 06:37 PM
0

No, you explicitly only noted "batter[ing]' as abuse worth considering, which is in fact disgusting.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 06:32 PM
2

I disagree with you somewhat. I think men are FAR pickier about sex partners than you seem to think. You actually kind of say this when you say men aren't DTF for every woman who is DTF with them, but then you note that men are "really only picky for dating," so maybe we do agree? I would say that women somewhat are pickier than men for sex partners and men are somewhat pickier than women for LTR/marriage partners, with enough outliers in both areas to muddy the waters, but also that men are pic…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 06:15 PM
-2

Wow, you are heavily implying that no other form of abuse besides physical abuse exists. Disgusting.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 06:11 PM
5

Nah. This idea that most men bring video game strat tactics to dating only applies to a minority of men who are more interested in having any relationship than in having the relationships that they specifically want.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 06:01 PM
3

Some will, some won't. I think as people get older and more established, they often (not always) get more ruthless about moving on from people who don't fit their mold. I do think there are mostly younger men here who haven't had enough initial experience to realize that wasting time on mediocre matches isn't worth it, though. That's why I see the perplexing "men HAVE TO ACCEPT what they can get" comment. No the fuck we don't! That applies to young and inexperienced men, and then not all of them…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 05:56 PM
15

That's more than fair. Look, it's human nature to discount people you aren't interested in as options. I've done it myself. The difference is that I didn't incessantly whine about it to my friends or spend time on subs asking where all the good women went. I think people need to own being picky more often, accept that they may not be what their narrower target group wants, be willing to reevaluate their requirements for a partner, and stop blaming the people they want to date for not dating them…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 05:52 PM
2

Plenty of conservative dudes are married, so this is only half-true at best.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 05:47 PM
0

This is a huge whine. Get offline. This is mush-brained talk and you need some recovery time from the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 05:46 PM
51

Being picky is fine. Whining about your lowered odds of partnering because you are picky sucks, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 05:35 PM
-2

I'm sure this guy who totally exists absolutely feels that way, but he wouldn't be nearly like the majority of men. Most 33-year-old men are not checking for 47-year-old women at all, and maybe a small minority are for sex or casual relationships. We have numbers that prove your fantasy/anecdote to be exceedingly rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 05:32 PM
1

I think probably you are not entirely wrong in that love was a factor in most marriages. It's not like everyone was making monarchy-style arrangements to strengthen political ties or whatever. But I think your instinct that this is just conservative FUD isn't right. Historically, more marriages were arranged than they are now including the West, and when you look at laws like primogeniture in the UK that forced families to find wealthy suitors for daughters who couldn't inherit Dad's stuff (as o…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 05:29 PM
–

If I were dating, I'd have my own money and career, and those are the two biggest things that are well established by one's late thirties and forties. The other biggest thing is intellectual development, but if you're a social media-cooke, true crime doc-cooked, reality show-cooked type of person, your peak is low. And then there are looks, where almost everyone is post-peak. I tend to think that most people peak collectively between about 28 and 34, where they still might be on the downside pea…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 05:14 PM
–

In what ways? Looks-wise, most people peak in their twenties, some in their thirties. Intellectually? Absolutely not. Most people peak in their thirties and forties in that regard. Most people are neutral in looks in their twenties and some are noticeably unattractive, but that doesn't mean that they didn't peak.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 05:08 PM
-1

Sis, I'm sure there are. I don't know what a younger man willing to DATE older women has to do with there being not enough men willing to marry 45+ women, though. Most marriages are between people within 3.5 years of age, and the older person in those marriages is usually male. So your post is useless and vague in the context of the conversation, but if imagining a fleet of younger men desiring you makes you feel better, go for it. Dudes have that same fantasy about younger women (and again by t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 05:06 PM
6

Right, that's misogynistic behavior, treating women as a protected, fragile object. You can't have sexism without misogyny.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 04:11 PM
2

You certainly can! There's nothing wrong with that if it works for you! That is a new phenomenon, culturally speaking. My read is that a lot of guys out there don't think love is enough of a reason to legally tie yourself to someone else, though, and in truth, love =/= making what is ultimately a trade agreement with your partner. I married for love, but I also had really good health care, and one motivator was that I wanted her covered. We had been together for years and were happy, but that ec…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 04:09 PM
6

Misogynists do just as well with women as ever. That's because women broadly like the elements of patriarchy that benefit them: https://theconversation.com/why-women-including-feminists-are-still-attracted-to-benevolently-sexist-men-101067
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 03:54 PM
2

Men can avoid combining households in Common Law states. The only reasons that a man should get married is to have kids or if she's got wealth/resources that she will share with him through marriage (a house, excellent health care, etc). Otherwise, no need to combine households...and you can still have an LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 03:41 PM
-4

Because there are fewer older men than older women and therefore not enough men to go around. The idea that older women don't want to get married once they can't have kids is fantasy.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 03:36 PM
1

No, they're struggling because they aren't attractive and haven't worked on being attractive partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 02:05 AM
1

Right, unattractive women whining about how men won't commit to them and blaming that on men instead of looking inward. Same shit, in other words.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 02:04 AM
3

Those men have a lot of overlap with the same men that women complain won't commit to them or bail when things get serious. I guess they found a way not to care that works for them after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 11:46 PM
6

Men aren't - or shouldn't - be competing against anything. They should be living meaningful lives, and if someone wants to join them and be a positive in their lives upon that journey, great. If not, great. This "competing against [x]" rhetoric that is popular online (where [x] is "other prospects," "my peace," etc.) is not how normal people approach dating or relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 08:36 PM
–

Let me check and see what I typed. Ah, I typed that 4B is only good for isolating yourself, so apparently we agree on what it accomplishes. What is not clicking here?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 08:28 PM
2

I don't think it helps that men have vacated the jobs in the spaces where boys spend time growing up (particularly school), and I don't think the pre-Millennial approach to fatherhood (i.e., often distant) helped either. Nor do the emotionally abusive mothers who treat their sons like surrogate husbands. It is hard to quantify the negative effects from the amount of their early lives that boys spend trying to please female authority figures. That is a huge part of the issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 07:56 PM
1

I don't think a specifically male loneliness exists and looking for a larger societal fix for loneliness goes far, far beyond dating prospects. As for your other points, yes, simple math is that the fewer barriers you have on your partner preferences, the more partner possibilities you will have. I am not sure, since the other half of that equation has to be interested themselves, that it will be more than a negligible increase.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 05:41 PM
3

There's another half of the equation to your Medium article...women. The average age gap in hetero couples a decade ago was males +3.5 years. Correct me if I am wrong, but I don't think that number has moved much. Women seem to prefer dating slightly older as opposed to same age or younger. Can't force older women to choose to date younger men en masse, exceptions to this general sociological rule aside.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 05:32 PM
7

I would guess this is because you are attractive enough as a partner that "these men other women complain about" aren't in your pool. I think of the women I dated, including my wife, only one was genuinely not a good person full of red flags that I shouldn't have ignored. The others were normal, generally attractive people, as an analogous experience. I suspect that most of the complainers about their dating pool online are also from the Isle of Misfit Toys, so to speak, and are struggling with …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 05:21 PM
1

Who are you, the new head of Xbox at Microsoft? /s
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 05:15 PM
3

Men are moving toward that parity looking at the most recent Pew numbers, but not for any of the reasons that you mention here. (If you take stock in these self-reported numbers, that is. I'm skeptical.)
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 05:13 PM
23

I love that the third point was "intellectual laziness" when this main post is the most intellectually lazy rehashed talking point bullshit regurgitated once more with zero polemical development beyond "I don't like my whiny sister."
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 05:10 PM
1

I mean, yeah. The people whining about dating the most on social media are usually in the same category as the dating populations they denigrate. They're just raging against that fact.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 05:07 PM
1

If I were single and dating right now, here's my philosophy: As a financially independent man, I'd expect the same in a partner. If she's too broke for a coach seat, she's too broke to date me.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 05:03 PM
–

MGTOW and 4B are silly strategies for doing anything but other than isolating yourself. If that's what you want, great. Men en masse are not going to join you in isolation, however. Flip the gender for 4B. Your relationship value is yours alone to build and maintain. Maybe it'll get you the partner you want. Maybe not. But me deciding to follow you down that path and choosing not to date for marriage would never have helped you because what dating comes down to in the end is you.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 05:01 PM
6

I think this is probably true, but for a multitude of reasons, women mask better than men and therefore have an easier time passing relationship or sex barriers. But women who don't mask well AND are physically unattractive are in much the same boat, yeah. I don't think gender gives THAT much of an advantage to physically plain or unattractive women on the spectrum who also cannot successfully socially mask.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 04:56 PM
1

Oddly, none of the women I've dated have ever acted like I inherently brought nothing to the table. My wife seems to like a lot about me personally. These "bring to the table" convos are always full of people keeping score who think they have scored enough life points to earn the partner the think they deserve, and those people are usually miserable (and often miserably single in my experience).
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 04:52 PM
2

I think when men are younger, this is more likely to be true, and usually because it comes from a place of inexperience ("I can change her," "I guess this is what relationships are," etc.). IME, older men aren't having that and are happier single than in relationships, or at least the ones who are doing well in other parts of their lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 04:49 PM
1

This already happens. Men just don't report it. I've been sexually assaulted by women multiple times, and I'm far from the only guy I've met who has had that happen to him. You just gotta get on with it and deal with it if you're a man, you know?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 12:33 AM
2

Whatever one wants to matter when choosing a partner matters. Dating is unfair and people need to get over being ruled out as someone's potential partner for whatever reason they might be.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 12:32 AM
1

I mean yes, but only if you are dating in-person with friends and colleagues. Anyone who likes anyone else is way more likely to invest themselves up front. With this Amazon off-the-shelf style of dating many folks do now, this doesn't work because the other person doesn't know you enough to want to invest.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 12:24 AM
1

What kind of emotionally underdeveloped adult needs guardrails for being asked a question? Embarrassing stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 12:21 AM
1

From Pew, bud. Your data is old: https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/02/08/for-valentines-day-facts-about-marriage-and-dating-in-the-us/
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 12:18 AM
9

Nor does this apply to women at those ages. These women are still dating. About three in every five of them report being in relationships. I do note as a non-scientific observation that the 40s and 50s dating subs are absolutely dominated by women, however. My hunch is that men above 40 are dropping out of seeking LTRs (though not necessarily FWB or casual sex).
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 11:06 PM
14

Look at the dating subs here (especially the age-specific ones) or TikTok. Many women are definitely desperate for a relationship. Pew noted in 2023 that the number of single men looking for a relationship dropped at a higher rate than for women. Men seem to be adjusting to the lack of dateable women just fine and will probably continue to do so by finding other things to do. We're in the second half of the shift toward intentional singleness that women began, and men are finally catching up.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 10:52 PM
–

They could also just lower their standards. There are a lot of women who don't get much interest out there, and I'm not sure why people on this sub pretend that undesirable women don't exist. Dudes could always shoot lower, but then again dudes in this sub keep up the (frankly pathetic) pretense that most men have to take whatever they can get and that even unattractive women are seen as desirable by many men.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 10:46 PM
1

I love how you lied again. I said that immature women shouldn't expect men to see their offer of a relationship as anything other than a life obstacle. I didn't say anything about you. Why do you continue to lie about what I have typed? Can you explain your continued lies, please?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 10:44 PM
1

Nah, definitely boring and without game. If they were uninterested, there wouldn't be so many of them whining about not being able to get the partner that they mistakenly think they deserve (including dominating the dating and romance subs on this very site).
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 10:42 PM
8

Funny enough, those women are whining about being sexless and single on social media: "the bar is in hell," etc. This idea that men are primarily the ones online whining about their inability to get the partner that they want is strange. Anyway, the point is that just like whiny men need to shut the fuck up and improve themselves or get used to the single life, so do these women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 10:41 PM
7

Do you have this study at hand, out of curiosity?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 12:56 PM
1

Nah, it just proves that many women are some combo of 1) boring, 2) awkward, and 3) without one iota of game.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 12:47 PM
1

...so in other words, women will pursue in real life. I guess you ARE seeing what I'm seeing, then.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 12:44 PM
0

Wrong. You are still lying. On top of that, you changed your claim, so at least you admit that you lied with your first strawman. You're blaming men that immature women make their relationships so untenable that men see those relationships as something to navigate Immature women should stop being immature if they want to attract healthy partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 12:42 PM
3

No, it doesn't. Trust me, women will initiate if they like you. Most people don't get fluttery eyes at an online profile, is my guess. What you learn offline and in real spaces where women might pursue is that almost none of them have even a thimbleful of game, but they can get away with it unless they go full-on creepy in their behavior. Online, though, I'd bet that you won't see the same behavior often, and it makes sense why not.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 11:24 PM
-1

I didn't say or imply that. Stop lying and creating strawmen. Lying is the type of thing that immature women not ready for real human relationships do.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 11:18 PM
3

I think if more women were ready, mature partners, these men would be less likely to see relationships as things to navigate to get sex. Then again, these men should be mature enough to recognize that access to sex isn't worth having to mollify an emotionally immature partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 02:25 AM
1

Men do this all the time. Just not most of these men. For obvious reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 02:23 AM
0

No, it's true. I think what men here miss is that even if you are good-looking or attractive, if a woman wants an LTR, she often will try to hold back sexually to get you to commit. Not all women! But not a small few, either. There are fun, handsome, charismatic fellas who experience the same thing as the mid dudes. The difference is that the fun, handsome dude has options and doesn't have to play that game. And it is a turnoff, IMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 02:13 AM
11

I think men are increasingly not thinking about it at all considering that the number of men not interested in active dating has increased.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/26 02:07 AM
9

It's exactly your argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 05:13 AM
1

[ Removed by Reddit ]
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 05:12 AM
16

I swear that some of you fellas try to make these dogshit arguments on purpose. "Most men are terrible so therefore women are dating above their league." This could be the worst argument I have ever seen, and I work in a field where polemics are a part of the culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 03:35 AM
2

Probably biological differences, along with constructs such as white supremacy that harms black male populations especially and perpetuates male violence. Good thing that the vast majority of men aren't murderers, not that I'm not gullible enough to be fooled into thinking so by the nine o' clock news! Just like white supremacy probably explains why multiple white women have physically or sexually assaulted me, but those assaults are not expressed in any data. And yet, I manage not to live in fe…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 03:30 AM
5

Women assaulting men is underreported because of social stigma and studies from multiple countries show that police take male claims of female spouse DV less seriously, so congrats on being the gender where you can assault 50% of the population with impunity.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/26 03:02 AM
5

Also true. Men do not have to want the same thing from a given woman that she thinks he should. If he only sees a woman as someone he'd like to bang, he isn't wrong for feeling that way. He'd be wrong for attacking, pressuring, baiting her with the promise of a job, etc. People need to let go the idea that others must value them in the way they want to be valued. You have not been greivously harmed if someone is only interested in you for sex (or is only interested in sex with you if you enter a…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 10:58 PM
1

Right. The original quote is meant to encourage people to enforce healthy boundaries, not to absolve others of guilt for their actions. It's a quote aimed at empowering the woman in question, but it does not hold that in focusing on empowerment of the woman, it must logically absolve the man of guilt or shame or consequences. The main post illogically makes the former argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 10:53 PM
4

So is "looks," "power," "prestige," etc. All subjective...but we know that like fun and charisma, we can observe a broad baseline for what most people would consider conventionally attractive, a powerful member of the community, a job that is respected, and yes, a charismatic or fun person. Your argument that this concept of being fun is simply too subjective to consider as useful to improve upon holds as much water as arguing that looks are so subjective that working out is useless for improvin…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 10:48 PM
7

Nah, it's pretty high up. If you are average in looks, you'd better have something going for you. And women love fun guys. If you are fun and she feels light and happy around you, she is coming back for more of that feeling. Women also typically love it when you ask them questions about themselves, especially when you are interested in their answers. The problem with a lot of the fellas who post here is that they have no interest in how to make women feel good by being around them. I feel like t…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 09:32 PM
–

The women in this sub say that first thing. Women IRL are not saying similar at all IME.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 09:25 PM
3

No, you missed the whole point. It is if you're fun and curious. It isn't if you're not. The average guy can definitely be fun and curious.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 09:17 PM
11

Yup. This is a critique of women who are too online more than it is a critique of women generally.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 07:33 PM
5

I do disagree. If you actually go to regular hobbies and events, you expand your circle. Even in our increasingly digital world, people still go to book clubs and bowling leagues and flag football and dancing classes and whatever. The key is that the average guy who struggles in these places has two issues that supersede even looks/height: They are clearly using the activity as a way to trawl for dates. You can't go in and just start asking women out or ask multiple women in the same group out. …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 07:32 PM
–

I'd say this regarding true crime shows and podcasts. Those are cortisol-triggering uses of real-life tragedy as macabre entertainment. I get the idea of watching reality TV dating shows as entertainment, but I do wonder about the psyche of someone who indulges in a lot of true crime, fair or not. I'd blame Capote for this exploitative-ass subgenre, but if he didn't popularize it, someone else would have.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:27 PM
6

As an aside, sensationalized news and the rise of true crime as entertainment has really addled some folks' brains. I sure hope that I wouldn't be silly enough to let the "if it bleeds, it leads" strategy of my local news outlets to scare me off of interacting with the opposite gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 05:14 PM
2

Men in general don't try to cast a wider net to appease as many women as they can. Unsuccessful and desperate men do. Men who are looking for casual sexual encounters might do this, too. But most men are much pickier than the men in this sub (or on Reddit in general) would have you believe.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 04:28 PM
4

A lot of men would like this app. As silly as I'd think interest in my job is - I have it because the stuff I like to do on my own time fed me into that line of work, and because it pays me well enough to also pursue my personal interests outside of work - I'd roll my eyes and share my job title. The "she keeps making you take her on dates" issue would be a non-issue because there would be so much competition on this theoretical app that men would be able to get women to pay for all the dates. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/26 04:23 PM
1

Do you believe that any men are oppressed or that any women are oppressors, out of curiosity?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 10:30 PM
1

Women who desperately want to get married lie about being interested in sex because they are selfish.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 02:01 AM
4

It's a strategy, nothing more. I never did it because I didn't have to and because most women aren't physically attractive enough to bother cold approaching even if I were interested in doing so. Being cold approached is nice. I like talking to people. I am a dude, so it only ever happened to me twice, but why wouldn't I chat with someone who was interested in me? I'm not one of those earbuds-in terrified teens or twentysomethings that my generation helicopter parented into social ineptitude.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 01:44 AM
2

Brotha, right-wing arch-conservatives are the ones trying to ban books with ideas in them that make them feel the ick. I wouldn't attribute the inability to effectively and logically attack a position to liberal politics.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 12:47 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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