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MummyCroc Archive

View 4 posts and 127 comments by MummyCroc on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

I also grew up Catholic, and what makes me sad is in my country, the Catholic church is considered to be extremely lax in Christian views. So you can calculate the level of misogyny that happens on a daily, because the Catholics who are viewed as Christian-Lite have such awful views, then what about all the other, stricter denominations. It makes me sad, tbh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/22 02:09 PM
34

I have always had high grades and scored extremely highly in our national school leaving exams. I was job hunting, and a guy I was dating at the time saw my resume with my grades and he lost interest immediately. At first I was bummed, but then realised its a good way to vet, and see if men would harbour resentment against me for being highly intelligent. And it worked. All the shitty guys I dated at some point revealed how threatened they were by my intelligence. Then I met my husband. Even tho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/21 06:02 AM
28

I would say no. My father and FIL are both military and have LV behaviour. My FIL is an alcoholic who wasted his money on booze and cheated on my MIL. My father was a serial cheater and has several kids by several women. And he used to demean my mum in front of me, and I hate to say I took advantage of their animosity as a teenager to play them against each other for my benefit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 07:41 AM
146

I had a friend in uni who was Muslim and of Arab descent. He was as gay as they come, and he was out at school. At home, he was still in the closet. Another one of our friends was a Muslim girl of Arab descent, She told him it wasn't fair how he was still in the closet as he would have a marriage arranged for him with an unsuspecting girl (they were from the same area and had similar backgrounds). He took this to heart and isn't married as yet, and i think he did good by not giving into parental…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 08:21 AM
16

To add to this, girls are called women when they are teenagers, and men are considered kids even in their late 20s. We are " adultified" from an early age because "girls mature faster", then we are infantilised as adults because we are "too emotional". I really hate it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 07:38 AM
22

This made me look at my Twitter profile, and I heaved a sigh of relief at mine. I felt attacked lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 07:18 AM
5

I was first friends with my now husband before we started dating. I knew he was interested in me, but I preferred to start with friendship to see what kind of a person he was and if our personalities went well together. When I knew the kind of person he was, that's when we started dating, and we got exclusive pretty fast because I had vetted him extensively during the friendship phase. I had seen that he was considerate, willing to help out a friend, and was generous, and decided that if he was …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 06:32 AM
13

HV mums are top tier. They do not tolerate any BS and push you to become a better person all the time. When I was still dating, I didn't tell my mum about most of the guys because she would have disapprove of them (rightly so, most of my exes lacked ambition and direction, and were misogynists with bad habits). She's a lawyer by profession and a good judge of people's characters. But when my husband and I got serious, I didn't hesitate to introduce him to her because I knew he would meet all the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 05:58 AM
26

Heck, I am actually clumsy. There's a time I fell when jumping a ditch and destroyed my brand new phone screen. But do you know what my then boyfriend, now husband did? He helped me up, made sure I was OK and gave me his nice phone to use and used his older one, until he bought me a new phone. No verbal abuse, just concern and the actual help I needed. That is how every woman deserves to be treated
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 05:44 AM
2

I have always loved my dad, but he is an LVM. He is a polygamist, who has several kids with several different women. My half brother and I were born 2 months apart. He also disowned me when I made a mistake in my late teens. We only reconciled when I got married, and he has been a doting dad and grandfather ever since, maybe because he realised the error of his ways. I peg him as a LVM because he slept around, but on the plus side, he took care of us and didn't shirk his responsibilities to us. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 08:59 AM
16

"Not like other girls"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 03:12 AM
13

We met at work. We were friends at first and then started dating. Jealousy: I always tell myself that even though I am not conventionally attractive, I have a lot of other things going for me. This helps to build up my confidence, and reminds me that I do not need to settle for BS if my husband ever decides to do something stupid. It also doesn't hurt that my husband affirms me a lot and tells me I am attractive Porn addicted men: my husband isn't big on social media and I haven't seen anything …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 06:53 PM
21

What would you like to hear? I am not conventionally attractive but I am married to a HVM
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 05:57 PM
9

Love the slut people reference
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 07:52 PM
2

I agree with u/creamtart_. The sub advocates for us to be in a healthy headspace first before dating. So if possible get into therapy, journal, do everything you can to get your mental health on point, then start dating. I used to have issues with accepting less than I deserved in relationships, because I had a very unhealthy relationship with my father growing up. I worked on this a lot, with occasional lapses on the way (I started working on this in my senior year in university) and this work …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 09:15 AM
7

We are in winter here, so my example of how a HVM will handle things is a bit different. My husband bought a gas heater when he saw that I have been really cold in our new house. When he brought it home, He gave me the instruction booklet to read through while he setup everything we needed to make it work outside. He took note of everything I said, and we did the setup together. When we realised our gas tank was empty, he gave me the money to buy the gas the following day. He wasn't too proud to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 07:28 AM
9

My husband is very high value although we met before FDS. Major green flags for me were: He enjoys his work, and puts a lot of effort in levelling up academically and professionally One night before we dated, we fooled around but I withdrew consent for sex. He accepted that I wasn't interested in sex, didn't try to convince, coerce or force me iinto having sex He is financially responsible When I got pregnant while we were dating, he took me to the doctor (I had HG), got me whatever I could eat,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 08:27 AM
10

This. I get 30 days annual leave, 98 days maternity leave and 90 days sick leave per year. And I live in a developing country. The USA is not conducive at all to a work-life balance to me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 08:30 AM
5

To add to this list: Hyperemesis gravidurum - basically morning sickness on steroids. You end up dehydrated and may even die if not treated (I was hospitalised 5 times in my first trimester of second pregnancy with this, and lost 10kg. Also had it during pregnancy 1 and lost 15kg) Post partum hemorrhage - (had this twice after my second CS. Almost died, and I vowed I wasn't having any more kids after this) Pooping after childbirth is an extreme sport And pain in your CS scars even years after ch…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 12:16 PM
3

No problem at all. This is just basic respect. I do not snap at my toddlers, and I wouldn't expect to be treated as lesser than them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 10:29 AM
8

No, never. We have been together for 6 years, and he has never belittled me accidentally or intentionally, or even snapped at me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 09:03 AM
7

I'll jump in on this one. My so far HV husband, when we disagree, will state his side in a matter of fact manner, no personal attacks etc, and listens to my response. If we still haven't found common ground, we take a break to think and usually after this, we find a solution, or realise that the disagreement was pointless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 08:42 AM
3

This is how my husband and I work too. When we are at home with no help, I cook, and he cleans. We both wrangle the kids and pets. We both do school pickups and drop offs. We are a team, and that's how it should be. We both saw dysfunctional relationships growing up, so our aim has always to do better for our kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 02:43 PM
4

Wherever I am, I dress how I want to. As long as it is weather appropriate, and looks good on me, I will wear it. Since we are in winter here, I wear warm joggers and a hoodie at home. In summer, I can cycle through leggings, dresses, skirts and shorts, depending on my mood. My SO, like the wise man he is, just tells me I look great and shuts up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 02:31 PM
9

Married. We each have our own bank accounts (from before marriage) where our salaries are deposited. Then we both have our responsibilities. I do groceries, pay council bill, tuition for our son, while he buys furniture and pays for construction costs, and transfer of the property into both our names (we are still finishing the construction of our house). I am an authorised signatory to his account and have my own debit card to it, he has no access to my account (no credit cards here). I also ho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 09:09 AM
3

Lavender. I went off the scent while I was pregnant, and the smell of it still causes nausea now
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 08:52 AM
4

I am married to a so far HVM and I am here. I love FDS because: women are just awesome to hang out with and learn from. And a truly all-female space where we are number 1 is a refreshing place to be I am learning a lot about feminism here. FDS helps me to take up space instead of shrinking myself to fit a certain mold just because I'm female I have learnt a lot from the women here about several issues e.g. investment, education, etc. And the recommended reading is something I enjoy, and spread t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 10:54 AM
3

I would say, marriage has been great for me so far. In the past 4 years, we have managed to fully own our house together, and I can afford to start my Masters degree, which I wasn't able to before marriage because I simply didn't have enough income. As a team, my husband and I have accomplished goals that other people our age in our country are still hoping to achieve simply by joining our income and working together. I definitely wouldn't have managed this, if my husband wasn't a generous man w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 02:42 PM
2

No, he ran away when she was pregnant
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 01:26 PM
9

I also had HG with both my pregnancies, and I must admit my body did a great job to test my husband. If he did not step up, and take care of me (and a toddler the second time round) I would definitely not be married to him. Like someone said in a previous post, when you are sick and vulnerable is when someone shows who they really are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 04:03 AM
27

I was always team Anfisa when I watched their season. She was always honest and upfront unlike Jorge. 90DF has a horrifying selection of LVM, ZVM and NVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 09:18 AM
12

This wasn't a date, per se, since we were just friends at the time. One of my uni friends was pregnant, and I wanted to go across the border to buy baby stuff for her. So my now husband offered to drive me there since I was scared af to use public transport to go there (there's a point where people get mugged/murdered). So we drove over, got to the mall, he took me to all the best baby shops, bought lunch and dinner for us, and he even bought me something I wanted but couldn't afford at the time…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/21 08:20 AM
17

Let them do most of the talking, don't say much about your personal life. Also, a man is married until proven he is not (they will try to date you, but don't be fooled by their statements). This is what worked for me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 11:46 AM
54

I was in this situation. I couldn't face having an abortion and he supported me when I decided to keep the baby. He was there for me 100% throughout the pregnancy like a responsible parent should. I had HG in the first trimester and he paid for all the doctors visits and medication not covered by my medical aid. He bought my prenatal vitamins, and any random food I craved. When I got admitted into hospital at 33 weeks, he travelled 600km to be with me and find out what was wrong. The morning I w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 01:55 PM
4

We got "engaged" about 8 months into our relationship. We had been friends for about 3 months before we started dating. Got married traditionally 2 months after the engagement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 12:15 PM
3

When I met my husband, I was a typical libfem. I paid my own way, but when I settled into our relationship, I let him handle all the bills from the dates. How we split our current bills is , I buy groceries, our son's (public school) tuition, water bills and gas bills. He uses his salary to buy finishings for our house (jointly owned, and still in process of finishing up the minor touches), vet bills, any out of pocket medical expenses and my wife allowance. He also bought my other car, and paid…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 02:21 PM
29

Same here. My husband does foreplay until I'm dripping. He goes down on me until I orgasm then we have PIV sex. Its a point of pride to him to make me orgasm every time we have sex. When I do not feel like having sex, he doesn't pout or anything. We hyst go to sleep, then we have sex at a time when both of us want to. When we are done, he cleans me up, covers me up (because I get cold easily) then we cuddle and talk until we sleep. I love that man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 12:47 PM
40

This. I lurked on her IG, and it's frightening. She had a lot of self esteem issues from being rejected by her father, and now with her husband cheating, her mental health must be absolutely trash. I also hate how some women are blaming the husband's cheating on her because she doesn't look "cute". She needs therapy not people blaming her for her husband's cheating, because she already blames herself so much. I wish I could help her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 09:22 AM
1

I got one, thanks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 05:58 PM
13

May I also get a code please?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 04:25 AM
9

I have been having prolonged periods since Christmas. I went to my GP the first time and got pills to stop the period. My period was prolonged in January and February again, so I popped the leftover pills to stop bleeding and kept moving because going to the doctor is expensive. This month, my body takes it up a notch. I have been bleeding for 11 days. Went back to the GP and she sent me for an ultrasound scan in case it was an ectopic pregnancy. The guy there does the scan and insists on writin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 08:38 PM
13

When we started dating, I told him the things that were important to me in a relationship and he has kept his promise to be all that Whenever I am sick, he makes sure I am fed, hydrated and kept safe from marauding toddlers He works out with me when I ask him to He entertains the toddlers while I sleep in every morning He gets me hot water bottles and tea when I'm having horrible cramps He has complete faith in my judgement He has encouraged me to study, gave me study material, made sure I had s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 07:57 PM
20

This is a bit like the arrangement my husband and I have. I have access to his bank account but he doesn't have access to mine. All his idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 07:34 PM
12

I didnt mind or care. My husband rarely drinks, and he doesn't drink to intoxication, and is still the caring guy I love, and is not obnoxious when he drinks. I also could barely keep any food down, so I had no energy to care about what he did. All I really cared about was is he taking good care of me (and the toddler during pregnancy # 2). And he did it well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 04:05 PM
46

This thing of mothers being pickmes and making sons their golden children happens a lot. And those sons are very misogynistic, and expect women to pamper them as much as their mommies. For example Colt and his wife/mum Debbie from 90 day fiance. A child is a child and the genitals between their legs shouldn't determine their treatment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 09:25 AM
3

Maybe its cultural context idk. Most men in Africa say housework and childcare is women's work. And because they paid dowry, they expect to see their employee to do all the work to perfection. However, when they were made to do "women's" work, they saw how hard it is for their wives to keep up with everything. The ones with higher EQ stopped abusing their wives because they saw how tradition made their wives lives worse, while those with low to no EQ kept abusing their wives. Thats how I viewed …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 05:24 AM
23

I am proud of the steps you are taking to make your life and your child's life better. You are a strong woman for overcoming so much, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. And I know you'll be a great role model and mom to your child. PM me if you need any big sister advice, encouragement or support. You've got this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 09:40 AM
2

This is my worst nightmare. I have 2 sons, and I do not want to be "momma bear"who thinks her "cubs"are adorable and do no wrong. My hope is that my sons grow up to be respectful, kind and accountable people who can look after themselves and not need someone else's child to be their maid, personal chef and PA. My husband and I have a lot of work to do to make sure our sons don't turn out to be entitled and useless
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 11:11 AM
55

She is a HVW. I will do a post on her one of these days. Almost everything on FDS is something she has taught me. Only I spent a bit of my early years thinking she was a clown, while I was the real clown for not listening to her wisdom
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 10:58 AM
101

My mum dated a guy for a while before she introduced him to us. First met him when I was 12. They had been dating then for about a year. And apparently had a daughter who we never met, so he was likely a deadbeat He just gave me an uncomfortable vibe even when he tried to be nice to me, so when he proposed to my mum and she told me, I cried and told her I wasn't happy about having this guy live with us.. My mum broke up with him when I said that. I felt bad about it afterward that I made my mum …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 07:30 AM
1

This is typical in my culture. I remember when I got married how the aunties emphasised I had to do all this and more to keep my husband happy. My husband is a hvm so I just have to be myself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 06:11 AM
2

Your culture knows whats up!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 04:42 PM
16

Honestly most men in my context do not parent their kids. They are just used by the mothers to scare the kids into good behaviour. I remember some friends being shocked when I used to leave my oldest kid with his father when I went to work (my husband worked in a different town and would spend 21 days at work and 7 at home) without the nanny. Their husbands have never changed a diaper or fed their kids and they have 3+ kids. The most they do is watch tv with the kids or go for a drive. Its so fu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 03:34 PM
14

Thats true. Im happy you found love even if its not "acceptable" to our community.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 03:20 PM
66

Do not give in to the pressure. I know at 25 they tell you you are about to expire to get you to settle. Dont settle sis, and vet these men. And have a beautiful ife, and be the rich auntie they love to hate
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 01:02 PM
30

I know how you feel. The person who brought this to my attention is a guy I went to uni with, a certain private secular university in Nairobi, but he still agreed with this and I thought wtf. As a continent, we definitely will not progress if our thinking is still in the Iron Age
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 11:08 AM
97

Sis knows her man is cheating. But she doesn't care because she is the wife and no one will take that title from her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 11:05 AM
34

I agree. I am glad that younger women realise this and that we deserve better. We need to break these generational shackles that stop us from achieving greatness
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 10:51 AM
38

Its so disconcerting to me because I did my undergraduate degree in Kenya and I never saw such backwardness. Or maybe the uni I attended shielded me from all this. But she was also claiming that the lessons are not meant for millenials. Probably because she knows we don't tolerate such bs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 10:36 AM
83

I actually heard she was on national TV preaching this hot mess. She was also doubling down on twitter saying her tips were not meant for millenials and gen z because they were giving her a lot of push back on this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 10:33 AM
313

I saw this post on twitter. I am an African woman like her, married to an African man but thats where the similarities end. I was exhausted reading her list. And what I got from it is that even with the sexual gymnastics and all the twirling, the husband still steps out on her. And she's ok with it because he will always come back home to her. If there are any young African women in this subreddit. Please, don't break yourself and your spirit for men like this. I know we are said to gain respect…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 10:16 AM
49

Sadly this is the reality for most African women. Especially if the man paid for her higher education, he feels entitled to all her earnings because "if it wasn't for me, where would you be". I am lucky because my mum is a feminist and told me to hold out until i find a HVM. But thank you for putting more exposure on how culture and religion just traps women. This woman was exposed to HIV because he couldn't keep his Penistone in his pants. I hope more women escape from this trap, and live disea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 02:46 PM
144

Everything about this story is triggering because its so common in my context. And I hate how his family went ahead and decided how the wife should become a SAHM without consulting the wife and her family. I am glad she's leaving and also that all assets are in the kids' names. In my country, mothers are always granted with custody so at least she has control over the houses and won't be forced to share the property with the husband in a divorce
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 10:24 AM
9

I advocate for marriage if you meet a HVM. I married a HVM (still vetting though). By combining our incomes we have managed to build a house, something that very few people of our age in my country have managed. He has supported my education, and ensured I had safe and reliable transportation whenever I would be studying late for my final work exams. He has bought me a car in my name. He also takes over so many expenses so I have managed to save and invest my fuck off money if anything ever happ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 12:05 PM
10

I am glad you left. He was a steaming mess
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 10:33 AM
3

If I cook, my husband automatically cleans up. We thank each other for doing this, because it is just basic politeness ingrained in us by our mothers to thank someone who has done something nice for us. This morning, I asked him to put reflective stickers on my car and he did it. And opened the gate for me when I went to work (it was raining and if I get cold, I get sick). He didn't expect a thank you parade over this either, and didn't throw a hissy fit because I forgot to say thank you. Added …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 10:26 AM
1

Lol in that case, do you sis. Wear what makes you confident and happy, and anyone who doesn't like it should go kick rocks barefoot
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 11:01 AM
15

I was her. But my SO bathed me, tried to feed me (failed because of hyperemesis) and took me to the doctor when I was too sick to do anything. He also looked after our then 18 month old. If my husband had treated me the way hers is, I would have had an abortion and divorce in that order
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 10:18 AM
10

Sadly, the Kibbe body type thing doesn't work for me. I fit into so many categories, maybe it wasn't really meant for PoC. Anyway, you do you. Wear clothes that make you look and feel good. Life is too short to try to pander to other people's opinions. Radiate that confident Queen energy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 10:49 AM
2

I read, watch trash reality TV, get some kisses from my kids, call my mom, take a long bath with bath salts and some wine, get a cuddle from my SO, vent on Twitter, nap, pet our dogs, deep clean my room and bathroom, work out, garden, cook or bake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 09:43 AM
2

Not American so you won't know my stocks. But I have stocks in a bank, a supermarket chain, a dairy company, a clothing retailer, and a FMCG manufacturer. When my salary for this month comes in, I am planning to buy ETFs. I started investing at the end of last year, and my portfolio is steadily increasing with each paycheck. My strategy is more of a medium to long term holding, so I am trying to increase my shareholdings by a lot so I can get healthy dividends that can be a boost to my usual inc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 08:48 AM
18

Amen sis. When I started dating my husband, he said he wasn't big on Valentine's day and birthdays. But he took me on a nice date and got me gifts, despite not being a fan of the day. Why? Because he knows it's important to show appreciation. Even some years when I forget to get him something (like last year) he still got me a gift I would appreciate. Even if he doesn't have much spare cash, he will look for something you will like that is inexpensive just to show his love and appreciation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 08:39 AM
7

We can storm the Limpopo instead. Love from North Limpopo aka Zim
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 09:49 AM
11

Non-US here... We get OK maternity leave, 98 paid days and 6 months of breastfeeding (you can take an hour in your work day to breastfeed your child). My job is better than most because the 6 months of breastfeeding start when you come back to work, which was when my kids were 3 months old, so I knocked off 2 hours early (by combining lunchtime and breastfeeding) until my kids were 9 months old. Childcare is a bit expensive (you have to hire a nanny and good nannies deserve decent salaries), but…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 09:28 AM
2

I was searching for this comment. Money is generally so dirty... I wouldn't want it touching anything I'm going to eat
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 10:54 AM
27

My favourite doctor so far is a young (early to mid 30s) female doctor. She takes my concerns seriously. Like I had unexplained bleeding when my period ended. I told her my cycles have been regular since I started menstruating, and she said I'll prescribe you this, and if it doesn't work we may have to change your birth control. With older male docs, I know I would have been told a lot of different things. Thank you for what you do Doctor u/Quebeks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 09:55 AM
5

My husband had a female friend (that I met and interacted with, and eventually became friends with) whom he respected a lot, and also got along with her SO. He was even supposed to be her "man of honour" at her wedding. That was a big green flag for me. He also had respect for several women in our line of work whom he looked up to as his mentors, again another green flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 09:55 AM
12

My husband says he knew he was attracted to me immediately when we first met, but I wouldn't give him the time of day. I am not surprised about this because 1. men who work at my job are mostly LV/NV and we get warned about this when we start working there 2. I was new at that office so I was concentrating on learning the ropes Then as we worked together, we first became friends, then we started dating. He said he could see a future with me a few months in, but didn't rush to say the "L" word fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 09:29 AM
5

This is one thing my culture is great about. When you have your first baby, you live with your mum for at least 6 weeks so you can recover from childbirth, learn how to care for the baby and just rest until you are used to having a small person who relies on you for everything around. Then for 2nd babies going forward, she takes the older kids and stays with them, mothering and loving them while you adjust to having a baby again and recover.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 04:55 AM
14

Oooof, this sounds so familiar. Im from a similar culture too. Luckily my mum isn't one for such bs. Eg I have a second cousin whose family does this He came over to stay at our house and expected that I would be his maid and pander to him because he's a university student. My mum shut that shit down so fast. Told him all her kids went to uni and graduate with magna cum laudes and also did their chores whether male or female. He ended up going to another relatives place who believed in that nons…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 04:42 AM
14

My mum is 61 and she looks like she's my older sister. In fact, most people assume she's my sister until I correct them. She gets a kick out of it. When she broke up with my dad, she barely aged and she takes good care of herself. I obviously want to be like her when I grow up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 04:35 AM
21

This take is still sadly very common in my country. Most girls try to dumb themselves down so they seem more dateable/marriageable. And the men encourage this because they know a wife who is lower than them education-wise will also have less income, making her very submissive. This view is still common because very few of our mothers went to university thanks to colonisation and the bottle neck education system. Women's education was always sacrificed in favour of educating men. My mother left m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 03:34 AM
28

I watch a lot of true crime and I haven't ever fantasised about killing my husband. Sis has to leave asap
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 07:19 AM
22

I went up to a 38D while breastfeeding and I'm now back to a 34D. They are no longer as perky though :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 12:08 PM
5

Well he seems OK so far so keep vetting and see if it's worthwhile. My husband is the same height as me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 05:56 PM
17

About guy 3, if height isn't a deal breaker for you I would say continue vetting him. If he acts weird because you are taller than him, especially in heels, then drop him. Im also 5'10 and height wasn't a deal breaker for me because I rarely wear heels. But when I do, my husband dgaf that he's shorter, in fact he wants me to wear heels more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 04:37 PM
72

God yes. A girl on twitter was talking about how she cooks for her boyfriend and does cute things for him while she waits for him to marry her and defined this as feminism. Luckily several women tried to esucate her, but of course men were gassing her up and telling her her brand of feminism was the best. The best thing about the shitstorm is I found so many great women, and I blocked so many patriarchy apologists
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 05:24 PM
18

I wanted to have daughters and ended up having 2 boys. I took it as my sign that I have to make any future daughter in laws life (if I have one) easier in the future. I do not find raising boys to be easy. With my oldest, I have to teach him to be less rambunctious and more respectful of other people's belongings. The younger one is more chill and is learning from his older brother's example, so I put a lot of effort in having the older kid model positive behaviour for him. Since both are still …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 06:18 AM
6

He sounds like a hobosexual
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 05:36 PM
5

I would say my dad is LV. He cheated on his wives, and he abandoned me at a time when i really needed family support. He's now trying to make up for it but I cant forgive the 11 years when he ignored my existence. My mum on the other hand has been teaching me fds principles and she's my role model for Queen energy from the day she left my dad for cheating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:48 PM
12

One thing I am thankful for, is that my mama never allowed my brother to get out of doing housework because he was male. And for African families, this is a huge deal because a 7 year old girl in some families is made to cook for adult males if there are no older women around. My mother in law also had a similar policy, so my husband cleans ,cooks and parents our kids when he is off work while I am at work. And he doesn't whine about it because he knows being an adult means doing adult shit. I h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 01:11 PM
2

Yesterday, this topic was a hot debate on Twitter in my country. Unfortunately, most of the younger women took it as "These older feminists just don't want us to date" and the men supported them because obviously it benefits them in the end. They get a naive young women who will do everything to keep them happy while they do minimum to no effort things for the relationship. I felt burnt out yesterday by that discussion, but your response has helped me get energised again. I'll keep trying to edu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:46 PM
21

Maybe its because I'm from a different culture thats not Western, so a proposal wasn't a big deal to me. In my culture, when your boyfriend meets your aunt (father's sister/cousin to be specific) that is when he is considered to have serious intentions towards you. And usually a month or 2 after that, the traditional marriage is done. So any man who is serious about marriage will have his ducks in a row once you introduce him to your aunt, because brideprice is expected soon after. In my culture…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 08:32 PM
4

It means... ​ "LEAVE THAT CHEATER!!!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 12:09 PM
11

He's a gem. Type 4 hair is not for the faint hearted, and as a fellow type 4 I feel you. You got a keeper
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 06:43 AM
103

And extremely misogynistic. Those are the worst men to try to even be in a relationship with
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 12:09 PM
130

Yep, we all know this so well. And then they say you modern women will die single with this feminism of yours. I always think ,"Why would I want to be your slave?" And ignore them while warning the younger ladies
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 12:07 PM
117

In Africa, a traditional man expects : His wife to do his laundry by hand His wife to do all the cooking for him, he doesn't eat reheated food or leftovers. If he comes home at 2am, you better wake up and cook babes His wife to be very submissive and take his word as the law of the household His wife to remember that they are his kids when they do well, and her kids if they do badly or bring dishonour to the family His wife has to do all the chores when they visit his family for holidays. This i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 12:05 PM
19

I got sexualised in university because I started wearing green contact lenses. Im a black woman, and was just having fun experimenting with my style and what not in university, and I got called a freak. For green contact lenses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 06:49 AM
7

Most Christian men are hypocrites, and are the type of people Jesus was not a fan of. I was raised Catholic but am now agnostic after seeing how religion is being used to oppress girls and women. I live by the rule Jesus gave, "Love your neighbour as you love yourself", and thats the rule I use to vet everyone I have in my life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 06:44 AM
19

I agree. My husband was awesome during my pregnancies. I get hyperemesis gravidarum which basically means I throw up so much that I cant keep anything down during the first trimester. He cared for me like I was one of our kids, bought me the stuff that I craved (pregnancy 1 fruit and fruit juice, pregnancy 2 slushies and ice). He took me to my ob-gyn, came to visit me at every visit in hospital, and basically treated me like a goddess while I was gestating. He also didn't want to risk my life wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 08:25 PM
15

I was on the pill since I was 19. Then one day I got h.pylori, got on antibiotics and omeprazole, and a month later I found out that i was pregnant. My husband and I were planning to get married in December so we moved forward our date to September and got married. By december, our son was born. Since I have realised I easily get infections that require antibiotics, I learnt my lesson and have opted for BC that isn't affected by them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/20 02:25 PM
7

I have a fun story that happened when I was 18. I was dating this guy and we were exclusive it seemed. We had mutual friends who introduced us, and we hit it off. One Saturday, the guy calls me asking for money. As a broke, unemployed 18 year old I obviously had no money to lend or give to anyone. I told him that, and he left me alone. On the Monday or Tuesday, I met our mutual friends. Turns out that he was paying brideprice for his baby mama and didn't have enough money, so he decided to ask m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 12:15 PM
6

And the probability that he does the same is a 1.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 12:04 PM
6

Also went to an excellent Catholic all girls school for high school. They showed us videos of abortions to strengthen the pro life stance. What I do appreciate is that they also showed videos on stds, and the biology class which covered reproduction was thorough on contraception use
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/20 12:02 PM
15

In my marriage we earn more or less the same salary. My husband has side hustles that earn him a bit more money. I manage most of our finances, and pay our regular bills as well as handle shopping. My husband project manages the house we are building, handles car maintenance for both of our cars. We have separate bank accounts, however I am a signatory to his account and therefore have access to it. He has no access to my account. I also handle our investments in the stock market. Expense split:…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 06:06 PM
14

As well as Elinor from Sense and Sensibility. She is gracious even when pickmeishas bother her, tries to teach her sister fds principles, independent, constantly vets men for hv behaviour and saw Willoughby as a lvm. Jane Austen really had some great heroines
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 05:47 PM
12

This explains why my mum insisted on sending to a single sex school for high school
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 07:42 AM
9

My brother - cooked and looked after me when I was 11. He also scared the guys who broke my heart shirtless My dad - always bought me pads/tampons and wasn't embarrassed about it My husband - bought me an umbrella when we were just friends and didn't expect to be reimbursed. One time he wanted to have sex and i didnt, I told him no and he respected my decision. I wrecked my phone and he gave me his spare one to use. When i was pregnant he did all our laundry (we do not typically use washing mach…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 04:59 PM
56

I have a HV husband. I did not use FDS tactics because I didn't know of FDS back then. I knew he had potential when one day I went over to his house to watch movies (we were living and working in a small town with NO activities except drinking and working). Then we started making out. At one point, I knew he wanted to have sex but I wasn't ready for that. I told him no, and he backed off. Didn't try to persuade me to change my mind or just force me into it. He also won me over by how he just tre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/11/20 04:46 PM
9

Yes, black African living in Africa
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 08:14 AM
28

This is so common in my country. Men marry the "pure" churchgoing girls, and have the girls who love to drink alcohol and party as their mistresses. They complain about how the wife watches "dumb" soapies and doesn't have interesting hobbies, but also do not want their wives to go to their hangouts because the only women found there are "whores" otherwise known as slay queens. If a HVM talks about how he does all these "manly" activities and goes to all these "manly" places with his partner, the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 01:57 PM
4

He respects and is generous with the women in his life especially his mother and sisters. This was a big one for me while we were dating. He regularly took his sisters out for sibling "dates" and spoiled them He encourages me to be the best I can be. When I was in school, he helped me study, gave me his old notes He celebrates my successes. He was so excited when I got straight As at school, he got me lots of gifts He treats everyone with respect but also doesn't take bullshit from people who tr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/20 02:27 PM
11

You are right. I had a traumatic incident happen in my late teens. My mum told me when I got married not to tell my husband (then boyfriend/fiance) about this incident. I still haven't told him about it because it doesn't affect our married life in any shape or form
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 10:21 AM
1

Ding, Ding DING!!! The moment I read that he didn't enjoy seeing her independent and hanging out with other people set my LVM sensors off. Actions are the clincher in being a high value person
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 01:26 PM
2

I just saw that one. And upvoted everyone telling her it's abuse and she needs to leave
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/20 09:36 AM
12

Yup, this is the one. I think he senses that his wife is up-skilling so she can have a way out if he continues being useless and he's not happy about that. He prefers that she stays home barefoot, pregnant and doing household chores because that's all women are good for. Also, the baby's need to be fed is probably interfering with his video game playing (a popular theme on r/marriage and r/marriageadvice)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 07:46 AM
12

Your list is very comprehensive, and I agree with every item. Number 13 is a key one for me. A person who is considerate and generous (within reasonable limits of course) is a high value person, and is worth one's time. I knew my now husband was a keeper when he bought me an umbrella and brought it to my apartment for me because it was raining, and I didn't have my car yet. He didn't even bother me about paying him back the money (although I did try to give him the money, and he refused.) Four y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 09:34 AM
12

In South African media, a celebrity's wife got HPV and now has cancer and is infertile all because her husband cheated on her. The number of women defending his actions is astonishing me rn
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 08:28 AM
13

Exactly. This is just a setup for later excuses for times when you can't have sex with them, and they cheat on you because you were not available. A typical LVM excuse
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 08:19 AM
10

Don't even worry sis. LVM and NVM will try to use this against you, to get you to settle for their BS citing your age. It's a trap I have seen several successful women fall into, and it destroys their lives. Stick to your guns, and remember getting an HVM is your basic right
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 07:06 AM
7

This is what any person should do for someone they love. ​ My husband has been there for me whenever I have been sick/had major surgery. During my pregnancies, I had HG, and he was there, holding my hand, taking me to hospital, trying to find something I could keep down. When I got admitted into hospital at 33 weeks, he left work (600km away) and drove to the town where I was, even though I told him to stay at work. When I had a miscarriage, he drove with me to the hospital, even though it was a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 07:52 AM
4

Unfortunately it is. I heard its very common on the dark web
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 12:02 PM
3

I might be married but I agree with all this. In fact, I do encourage single women to focus on themselves first, and never settle for a LVM or NVM just to get the Mrs. title. I may have a great husband, but I have my own career that fulfils me, and if we do break up, I know I won't have an unfulfilled life because I'm single. We need to change the narrative that marriage is the be all and end all for women. Luckily, in first world countries you have a leg up, but where I am from, early marriages…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 07:28 AM
2

The number of times I’ve had ‘aww aren’t you lucky!’ because my husband ‘helps me’ so much. Or someone asks if he’s babysitting cos I’m out without the baby. NO 🙅🏻‍♀️ stop this talk! Nobody is lucky that my son’s biological parent cares for him fantastically. I do too and nobody ever tells my husband he’s lucky I’m so good with the baby or that mum must be babysitting. This language is so toxic! ​ Exactly. My husband works shifts were he spends 21 days at work and 7 days at home. I work full tim…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 07:03 AM
3

I have 2 toddler boys and they do not do this to the little girls they like and play with. In fact, they are gentler and play better with the girls than they do when they play together. We need to teach our sons to act right from a young age
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 06:26 AM
2

That's the post that made me join this sub!! I just had to see what was going on, and loved it. So here I am applying these principles to my marriage, so my HVM won't copy all the LVM around us
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 02:09 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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