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Mundane-Surround-325 Archive

View 0 posts and 49 comments by Mundane-Surround-325 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

I didn't see the any of all the red flags indicating she was gay.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 04:56 AM
10

Oh, your description of thoughts were so to the point, so exact, so full of the pain, and by that so many of us can relate and realise: I am, after all not being alone! Thank you, thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/24 03:44 AM
14

During 45 years of marriage ! she found no reason ever, to apologize for anything, not once. Guess she was flawless. All bad, and i mean all, were my faults, all. But vis a vis others, a Mother Theresa.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 07:36 PM
8

Not being enough aware of red flags that told me she is a lesbian in denial.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 03:51 AM
2

When a (bad) woman eventually gets her man to be as she wants him, she does not want him.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/24 05:26 AM
5

Do not fall into the shit-throwing pit. It only makes your own hands stink for a long time. Let go of resentment and concentrate on building your own life.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/24 06:50 PM
4

Whatsoever, don't move far away from your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 06:26 AM
1

I thought that, and was in for a disappointment.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 08:12 PM
1

I say again: When a woman made her man to be as she wants him, she no longer wants him.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 07:42 PM
1

Oh yes, as if afraid I would start to be aware of all the red flags, those I now realise were there all the way.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 07:33 PM
1

Her parents never showing any sign of affection to each other. What role models would that be. , never even a hug.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 07:30 PM
3

I think you ex is trying what is called "inmeshment"
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 07:13 AM
3

Ohh. Warm friendly shoulders here to lean on. Those tears of yours, they are severe pain, formed as silvery drops, dripping out and away from you, one by one. And each one falling, leaves a vacant, ready minute room in your inner soul, where shining diamonds of acceptance and even joy, also step by step will nest when time comes and enough silverdrops have left you. Let them float. They bring relief. And please seek support.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 01:33 PM
3

I just wonder still why so many give advice that will attract women who are so shallow that they focus only on "the wrapping" of this mechanic. The best individuals out there will fall for personality whatsoever. Then, after that, comes the health and wellbeing benefits of a healthy lifestyle. Being a good person, funny and easygoing, will pay him more if longterm is the aim. But he should defenitely not in this process try to be a woman pleaser or being needy. Just have his own (good) standards…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 11:26 AM
3

Major life changes can often naturally trigger some sort of feeling shocked as to what happened. It is natural, but not dangerous.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 07:29 AM
8

Time to start fighting the alimony laws, they seem so unfair, and really they look like something from the stone age, when the men only were out there bringing home mammuths.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 09:31 AM
5

Ohhh, that must hurt a lot. Here are lots of guys to lean on during that dark valley for you. Oh yes. Life is risky, human behavior is often causing extreme pain. One pit you could risk falling into is the dungeon of bitterness combined with alchoholconsumption. Don't let her succeed to put you in there! Act opposite, build up yourself and your friends and your economy. It takes work and times and willpower, but it is worth it because you deserve a good life when this storm has passed. There are…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 08:56 AM
6

On the really "deep valley days" I try to: 1.Identify that it is "a rainy day." 2.Write an hour to hour program for the activities of that day. (Included the 15 minutes of grieving what is lost) 3.Follow the program meticulously. (included "reward" to be collected just before bedtime. For me that may be like (full throttle) favourite music, a nonalcoholic drink and a crossword, one more chapter reading with peaceful saxophone jazz music in the background. Then saying to myself: Mission completed…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 06:36 AM
21

I once saw two rings representing two individuals married to each others. The rings covered each other's almost 100 per cent. This was said to be a marriage where at least one of the spouses was almost rejecting his or her own life and purpose on this planet. Then I was shown two other rings, where shared area was around 25 per cent. And that was said to be a healthy relationship where the individuals recognised their own sole value and purpose on the planet. Dear friend, yes it hurts. But you a…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/24 07:28 PM
3

Please understand I don't try to be too blunt. But it seems you are not at all interested in anything about the people around you, their life history, their hobbies and interests, what they like to do and where they met challenges. There is so much interesting to hear about people's lives, and doing that is building connection. Without being genuinely interested in their life so far, anybody trying, will probably fail to connect.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 08:22 PM
5

Visiting a hospital, cancer treatment department shows us that so many among us, even the youngest, happened to pull the shorter straw. To get perspective, seeing what some people have to go through, helps to sort out the most bitter pills, and to do some constructive thinking in the midst of chaos.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 06:17 PM
2

I so agree about your priority: Your daughter. Guys with some of the same experience are here to lean on.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 07:33 AM
2

I am sure you, as a man, are able to penetrate through this fog , and start thinking clearly. Attorney immediately is good to help see the possible roads forward. For the emotions: Know that here are shoulders to lean on, and use all resources available for emotional support. We have been through it, and we have come through it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 07:24 AM
1

Sorry about your situation. It goes up and down, but somehow still future is brighter. To realise that she never loved, is a tough truth to take in. I also sit back at family occasions, looking at her when she does not notice, and I wonder: How is it really possible for a human being to be that cold, after all those years together in our marriage? How? Cannot understand it!
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 08:35 PM
-3

For the kids. Only for the kids. This is where the going gets tough to stand firm during heavy fire for the kids, as her shells are falling around you. To act like an adult. A man. A dad of standards. Perhaps cards delivered by mail next time not to give her a chance to use her work as an excuse for her loading the machine gun against you all. Still: It is all about the kids. Not her. ZLet them see that Dad shows them how decent people should behave. Don't stoop to her level. Even if you get not…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 04:06 AM
4

So many in comments are willing to use the kids as knife to stab her. Never use kids as weapon! Fokus on the kids and their situation. They will see that you are a proper dad to them, helping them even with this present or card or flowers, and they will remember that Dad got nothing from her through us. They will remember. They will.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 06:41 AM
1

I think I disagree with you. For the kids, she is mom whatsoever. So, teach them to be kind even to a failing mom. They will remember that later, and you will have helped them do what is right. Dont ever use the kids as weapon to hurt the ex.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 06:37 AM
2

Yes, others here also say: It is all about the kids. Teach them how civilized people behave civilized. They will remember later, even if she never helps them get anything for you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 06:34 AM
14

It is strange, but to me it seems: If a woman gets her man to be as she wants him, she no longer wants him.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 04:22 AM
5

Sat looking at my ex at a family event. Exterior almost the same. - - But inside that scaffold, I thought, is another, not likable creature, capable of hurting me, if I try to come close. If I let go of the one she once was, I am more free to be dad and to take care of my own life.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 06:46 PM
5

I'm sorry you feel like this. Know that you are not alone here. Other guys here to lean on, who went through same. Find supportive people who can understand. And, you have to exchange your perception of her with a new, realistic one: She is not the sweet one you had, but the bitter tasting one she changed herself to be now, even if her exterior seems the same one. The one you had is nowhere to be found now. Now be best dad you can be, and be ours and your own most supportive friend.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 06:38 PM
8

Words of wisdom. Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 05:49 PM
4

Even for women without mental challenges, so many men experience this willingness from ex to destroy as much as possible, and even if obvious that kids will suffer from those attemts. Are there any statistics to support this claim? I think it is proven statistically that higher percent of women initiate divorce, compared to males.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 04:11 PM
3

No wonder you are exhausted. I have heard it said that only death of a child is more painful than divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 02:45 AM
7

Lonelyness occurs if you relied on her, leaned on her for feeling you had a life. Now, she is not around, and you have a life to live, doing for yourself what you should have been doing when you were a couple.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/24 04:21 AM
7

Only death of a child is worse than divorce, so it is not about being soft or not. We are humans, not granite. Together we shoulder each other's here, as good soldiers do when on a mission. We are here and we are here also for debriefing. Keep keeping away from alcohol. That is a manlike decision. And vent.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 02:32 AM
2

No! Big mistake you will regret if you "walk away from everything." When things are still smoking, do not make huge decisions. Store them and come bak to them when you hurt less and can be more rational.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/24 10:03 AM
7

M 68 divorced from F 66, two adult kids. She was probably lesbian in denial. Red flags were: No sweet words, no random touch ever, no cuddling, no initiative for intimacy, brisk business, anger if she was touched during sleep, never any expression of lust or pleasure during act, (it was like doing a stiff mannequin) lots of blaming for my shortcomings, hers were anything to be decided, never opened up, never apologised, no interest in fashion or makeup, nails cut short, short hair, deep voice, m…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/24 03:11 AM
1

Are they lesb in denial, using all this Mother Theresa activity to keep spouse away from her. Not even on psychological level any bonding whatsoever, and absolutely no romantic sunsets or candle-evenings.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 03:56 PM
4

I understand it hurts. On the other hand, you were given the privilige to experience all this good, open, best-of-friends atmosphere for a long time. So it feels devastating when it is gone. I (70 + M) experienced only a distant wife who made herself busy with others, never "on my side", but always warmly supporting the others, never a loving word, from her criticism or silence, never cuddling and closeness, never a touch with a warm hand but lots of anger and blaming in an atmosphere of only br…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 03:54 AM
3

What makes us hurt THAT much is partly because our view of wife was simply too positive. Our feelings ran away with us, and when reality kicks in, and we are forced to adjust our perception of women in general and of her particularly, we suffer more than needed. Had we started out with a more balanced perception about marriage being a covenant between two free individuals, we would more be able to cope. When two, too much become as if one and only one unit, and we are unable to see us as two ind…
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 04:26 PM
1

What were the flags that told you there was no love? I ask because of similar feeling through centuries.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 12:23 PM
2

is this some sort of a joke? Or does it really refer to something from reality?
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 08:04 PM
1

Sadness creeps inn more, if we keep playing a "script" in our thoughts, saying: "She is right! Not all I did was 100 % good." As if it is required that we be totally blameless, in order to have a reasonably peaceful, loving marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 03:21 PM
1

We are here and we hear you. Sorry you hurt like this. This is like in the army: When there is a war raging, each of us want to shoulder the others, because that is how the team survives. Be a soldier, stay committed to find peace again, friend!
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 08:45 AM
1

There is also the knowledge that oneself is reason to stay single.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 05:24 PM
3

One piece of advice I think benefits you in this phase of grief and shock: Not to make major decisions now, but to store options for days to come when you are more balanced than what the current situation allows you to be. We are here, we other guys, like in times of warfare, when the whole platoon of fighters rely on the others. So you know you are surrounded by others "in same uniform" giving each other coverfire.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 12:23 PM
1

First: Pain becomes less if you are able, with all us others in similar situations, to realise and also accept, that your perception of humans and females in particular, was too hopeful. It is a pill to swallow, but realising it, gives relief. It is not about you, specifically.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 08:18 AM
1

Is there no quality novel writer around, to make good litterature of these stories where women seem to be permitted to get away with horrible acts against males and their own kids' fathers. Litterature cared to lift into public light less important human evil behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 08:06 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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