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Mysterious-Phase Archive

View 4 posts and 32 comments by Mysterious-Phase on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Since the beginning of my marriage I have always been unsure if I actually love my wife, to this day I’m not really sure if I even know what it’s like to be in love with someone. I always thought it was just something I would understand more when I’m older. The only thing I have learned about love is that I love my kids undeniably and I would die for them in a heartbeat, mostly everything I do has been for their benefit, including staying in this marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 07:35 PM
1

I was never Johnny handsome, but I’m in decent shape. I weight 20lbs more than I did in highschool. 6ft 225 always had a muscular build. Been running half marathons yearly and 4-6 miles a couple times a week for 20 years. I also drag the wife on 3-4 walks a week of a 5k, we even upped that to 4 miles a few times recently.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 07:22 PM
1

For the last 10 years I have been trying to fix it. It hasn’t worked and I am at the stage of “is it time to give up?”
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 07:19 PM
1

This is what I’ve been doing for the last 10 years at least.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 07:17 PM
1

This is what gives me pause on the whole divorce thing. I always try to do the right thing. Society has programmed me to believe that the right thing to do is stay in the relationship for the kids and spend the rest of my life trying to fix my wife.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 07:16 PM
1

She has zero confidence and spends hours getting ready to go out, only to complete change her mind last minute because her shirt is too tight and you can see everything. I have been trying to get her to do something about her weight for 20 years and she is finally doing something, but the underlying issues of laziness and complacency are still there and still a huge problem. People tell me, you just need to tell her she’s beautiful all the time and she will have more confidence. And they tell me…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 07:14 PM
1

Maybe so, but she was hot back then. But she basically gained 5 lbs a year for the last 20 years.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 07:09 PM
1

A thousand times. It is extremely difficult to talk about this kind of stuff though. I have to basically sugar coat everything until she gets the hints. Then she will vow to lose weight and get a job and do better in life until it’s months later and she did nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 07:08 PM
1

That’s the thing, I want to stay monogamous and I would never cheat. Therefore I’m pushing 40 and my sex life is dead to me. Yes I have sex with my wife sometimes, but it’s terrible because I’m not attracted to her like I used to be and she has zero confidence about her body. We haven’t done it with the lights on in many years. I can’t stop thinking about women I am attracted to and it drives me insane. What are you to do when you would rather jerk off than fuck your wife?
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 07:05 PM
1

I haven’t cheated and I have always told myself and her I would never do that. Now that I’m pushing 40 I don’t know if I would ever want to get married again. Maybe sex once in a while would be nice, especially if I’m physically attracted to the person instead of being repulsed by them.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 07:01 PM
1

Kids are school age, but it is definitely difficult to find a job that would work for our schedules. I wouldn’t say it’s impossible though.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 06:56 PM
1

I don’t even care about getting pussy anymore. At this point in my life I just want freedom, a clean house, less nagging, bitching, and complaining. Sex once in a blue moon with someone I’m attracted to would be better than sex a few times a month with my wife. If I never had sex again I’d probably be ok with that too.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 06:55 PM
1

We walk a 5k together 3-4 times a week and I watch the kids while she goes to the gym 2-3 times a week. The meal prep portion of the program is sorely lacking. With that being said I work, a lot, and she’s a SAHM. She barely grocery shops or cooks meals. When we do cook it’s usually me cooking because she procrastinated all day and I just took over. How much more of the responsibilities of a marriage should I take over? Everything? Or should I just say fk it and get a divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 06:52 PM
1

She’s on a GLP1, zepbound. She’s been on it a year with only 20lbs of weight loss.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 06:48 PM
1

Depends on what you consider ideal weight for a 6ft male. I have been muscular my whole life and I weigh 225, which is 20lbs more than i weighed in highschool. I run a half marathon yearly and I run a 4-6 miles consistently for the last 20 years. I was in the military and running became a pretty solid hobby of mine.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 06:45 PM
1

When you say you recommend therapy, you talking about individual therapy or couples therapy? I want to start therapy anyway because I have some issues I need to deal with from my military service and firefighting service. Couples therapy to me sounds like it would be horrible.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 06:42 PM
1

That’s insane, I read your other comments, wow. 1/3 forever. This is why I never pull the trigger, I am doing very well financially, I finally reached 7 figures invested and I have 2 pensions I will get in retirement. I don’t want all of my life’s work to go to her. If it stays with me, my kids will never have to worry about money, but she would piss it all away at target and kohls.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 06:39 PM
1

She is trying, in my defense I have been very supportive of the effort. I go on long walks with her 3-4 days a week, let her go to the gym while I watch the kids, and I pay for her GLP1. She keeps telling me she’s frustrated about it and I keep giving her advice that she doesn’t follow, such as, stop drinking pop/soda. One can of coke has 12tsp of sugar in it and she drinks a few every day. It’s also super important to get enough protein while taking a GLP1 but she won’t listen to my advice ther…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 06:36 PM
1

That’s wild, my wife weighed about the same as me at her peak, 225. I am 6ft and she’s 5’3”, but I have been very muscular my whole life, I don’t have a gut or anything. Her gut is the biggest problem, she carries all her weight in her stomach area. Her face and legs are fine, it’s all in the gut. Her physical appearance is only part of the reason I am no longer attracted to her. Her laziness, meanness towards me and my kids, and other issues are what make me not look at her sexually any more.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 06:31 PM
1

She’s definitely a leech as far as financial dependence goes. She makes up for it a bit by doing way more of the housework than me but she’s not particularly good at it or at being a stay at home mom. She doesn’t even make dinner nightly. I end up cooking more than her, which I would gladly do if she would at least plan the meals and buy the groceries. She complains to me about grocery shopping because she has to take our son with her. To make matters worse in the whole financial space, her pare…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 06:27 PM
1

The weight is not the only issue. It’s just the one I feel bad about. I feel like an asshole for not being attracted to my wife. There are a few other reasons I am considering divorce, she doesn’t work and has only been marginally employed at best our whole 20 year relationship. She keeps me on a short leash and doesn’t let me hang out with friends without making me feel bad about it through verbal statements, nagging, and complaining. She has borderline hoarder issues. We spent weeks cleaning o…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 06:21 PM
1

I am concerned with the weight because later in life comes major health problems. I work in healthcare so I see obesity killing people everyday. I have her out on walks 3-4 days a week with me and I gave up my gym time to watch the kids so she can go to the gym instead. The biggest reason for her weight issues are her complete satisfaction with sitting around doing absolutely nothing for 8-10 hours straight. She will wake up on weekends and lay in bed for 3 extra hours because she’s “relaxing.” …
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 06:14 PM
1

We walk a 5k 3-4 days a week, that is what got her to the 20lb weight loss. We really don’t have time to add any more walking than we already do since it’s about 4 hours a week on average. Last week we did 4 miles a couple times instead of a 5k. I also watch our 5 year old while she takes our older kid to the Y, which gives her another 2-3 opportunities a week to workout. That used to be split between us so we could both go to the gym, but now I just let her go every time and work out, I think s…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 06:07 PM
1

At this point I start to wonder if anyone ever leaves their wife without someone cheating. Seems like either the wife cheated or the wife initiated the divorce in most of these cases. In my case I want to leave, but idk if I can bring myself to do it since she never cheated.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/25 06:42 PM
1

How old are you? I ask because I feel like at 38 the “hotter, more fit, healthy g/f who is genuinely attracted to me and actually wants to spend time together” would be impossible to find. My wife has gained 100 pounds since we got together and I have zero attraction to her at this point. We have nothing in common and I feel like I am not myself when I am around her. To complicate things though we have 2 kids together and I know I would get financially destroyed by divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 11:43 PM
1

After thinking about it for several days and reading through these comments I think seeing a therapist for myself is the next step. Although I admit that I don’t even know where to begin in finding a therapist.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/24 11:59 PM
2

I don’t know that I want to go to a counselor and say “my wife is getting so fat I don’t want to sleep with her anymore” or maybe that is exactly what I need to do to end the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 12:21 AM
1

I have been telling her for over 5 years that the weight is making me lose attraction to her. She still keeps creeping up in weight. As I get older I worry I am wasting my prime years of my life in a sexless marriage (for the most part) when I could be much happier on my own or with someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/24 12:20 AM
2

The biggest thing holding me back from leaving the wife is the negative impact it could have on the kids and also the fact that she will be devastated.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 01:20 PM
1

I will always be there for my kids and their mother. The only reason I want to leave is because for once in my life I feel like I need to focus on my own happiness a bit. I am unhappy in the relationship, but I still get along with my wife and I still do everything I can to help her, she won’t help herself. Maybe I’m being selfish and I should just roll over and die an unhappy man. I have so many friends and also siblings who need a divorce but they just suck it up and say maybe when the kids ar…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 12:57 PM
1

I would assume I have no chance with fit 20 year olds and honestly I don’t have anything in common with women in their 20s. I don’t want to be single to hook up. I want to be single to be happy and then it would be nice to hook up with someone who I am attracted to and have a connection with every so often, probably women my own age. The way things are I would rather have a fling once every couple years and never get into a serious relationship again unless I am proven wrong and love actually do…
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 12:53 PM
1

Do you still have a relationship with friends that you shared mutually with the ex wife? I know you said you never had kids so I assume you pretty much stopped talking to the ex all together?
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 12:48 PM
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