TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

NamelessOneHere Archive

View 0 posts and 55 comments by NamelessOneHere on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

It is hard caring for a special needs kid - especially as the mom, because you feel so responsible at every moment! I am guessing you would have wanted more recognition of that from your husband? It would've been nice if he'd said, "honey, I see how hard you're working and I want to make sure you get some time to yourself". Sadly, even great men do not always think that way. If anything, they are so driven that they can't understand why we need breaks. Anyway,none of that helps you now:) in your…
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/23 11:35 PM
13

It seems like common sense that if you're at home, you take charge of most of the housework. Housekeeping is also a nice way to keep yourself from obsessing over the baby. I mean, obviously play with the baby, feed the baby, talk to the baby, but also let the baby play on a blanket while you dust the furniture, or let him play on the kitchen floor while you wash dishes. As he gets older, he can help. Kids benefit by seeing/ helping with real work around the house. I think husbands should have a …
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/22 07:50 PM
5

I think I understand...you feel like you're quashing yourself, maybe? I've had that feeling too and it's awful. I don't know what your circles are like. I think in MOST circles, you can find a way to politely express your difference. Even if you just quickly say, "that's not how I see it." Or make it into a joke, like, "you know my rabid right-wing views." It takes some practice but you can develop a way to feel more like yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/22 07:15 PM
11

I see. Your post said that your livelihood was on the line, so that's what confused me. I guess in your place, I would still frame it as "I work freelance, but I don't take on a lot of work at one time." It's not really their business whether you also wash the floors and do laundry, is it? I also live in an ultra-liberal city. My friends are mostly atheists; they think it is quaint that I go to church. I focus on finding common ground. If someone starts ranting about a subject that we disagree o…
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/22 06:48 PM
10

Why do you call yourself a housewife if you're earning a livelihood as a performer?
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/22 06:21 PM
2

OP is in a tough position, but not an impossible position. Being a single parent is hard, yes. That's why she needs to build a support network and do her best to make sure her baby's father is in the child's life, in whatever capacity possible. It's also why she should be looking into job training / education to increase her income. None of these challenges are insurmountable and saying that she should abort her baby because of these challenges seems extreme and bizarre. She already has a home a…
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/22 06:08 PM
9

Just taking a guess here, it sounds like you were already in a tough spot and you thought that getting pregnant might make things better? Maybe you thought that once you were pregnant, your man would get inspired, step up, and become a stronger provider? Now, that hasn't happened and you're also being hit with first-trimester hormones and everything feels awful. Things could still turn around. It's possible that your guy needs some time to adjust to the situation. In the meantime...if I were you…
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/22 03:19 PM
5

When you're lonely and struggling, every decision becomes monumental. It sounds like you're overthinking this. Getting your degree is a great idea. Maybe start with your required classes and once you get comfortable, start planning which major you want. Try to pick a major that will lead to a job. Good luck to you!
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/22 03:03 PM
1

Yes, it is hard when our best doesn't feel good enough. But that's how it is sometimes... As a stranger, I really have no insight BUT I do suggest you spend less time researching things like sexual psychology. If you are already suffering from poor mental health, it's probably not a good idea to delve too deep into theory.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/22 09:24 PM
1

I see. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/22 09:15 PM
2

Great answer- I'm glad we had this exchange!
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/22 08:58 PM
1

Sorry for calling you a lady! I understand why people stay in unhappy marriages. It was the idea that the man would "walk through hell" for his wife that I didn't understand. But maybe I am getting hung up on a phrase.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/22 08:52 PM
2

Like others have said, focus on taking care of yourself first. You aren't healthy enough for kids yet. Our mothers will probably always annoy us. And on some level we are bound to annoy our own kids (that's why there's a natural allegiance between grandparents and grandkids! I see my kids exchanging conspiratorial glances with my mom all the time). The idea isn't to become perfect. It's to keep on working to do our best. Try to be forgiving of yourself and your parents, even while you keep seeki…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/22 08:11 PM
2

I agree that we can only change ourselves. And I am finding your thoughts really interesting. But I don't think it is useful to look at a complex situation and just isolate one negative behavior (the nagging). Nagging clearly has a function in the relationship. Is the man avoidant / unwilling to lead / getting something out of leaning on his wife? If so, what can the wife do instead of nagging? If she is angry / resentful, what other options are open to her? I think OP's post ignored the functio…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/22 07:57 PM
1

Okay. I am obviously missing something, because I don't know any men who are mistreated and miserable in their marriages but who would also walk through hell for their wives. What do you ladies mean exactly? In what sense would these men walk through hell?
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/22 06:55 PM
1

Interesting. I guess it is hard for me to imagine a man who would be devoted to a woman who really makes him miserable. OP's post made me think there must be something more to the marriage. I'm not advocating for nagging, but I guess I don't think it is always a pure negative. It is one part of a much larger picture; it is also a dynamic which the husband and wife played a part in creating. Where OP sees the husband pulling back as a response to nagging, someone else could see a wife using concr…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/22 06:45 PM
3

I was unclear, I see. To me, the top measure of success is that OP's mother has a loving and enduring marriage; according to OP they've been married 30 years and OP's dad would walk through hell for his wife. How many women can say that? (That's why I listed the "long marriage " as the top indicator of success.) I think OP's mother must be doing something right. I assume OP is right that there are problems in the marriage, but it's clearly not all bad. I think...maybe sometimes nagging is cheerl…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/22 05:40 PM
3

I think RPW can be a little simplistic on the subject of nagging women. Or maybe I just haven't read the right things. Look at where your mom's nagging got her: she has a long marriage, a home big enough to welcome long-term guests, and a daughter who's married and owns a home. These are all measures of success, no? Is it possible that your mother's "nagging" has two sides: one, the annoying side, and two, a more positive, driving side that kept your family moving forward? I know plenty of men w…
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/22 01:19 PM
50

I don't want to be rude, but this sounds like grass-is-greener thinking. The life you're imagining, full of long, slow mornings and lots of time for fulfilling hobbies, is pretty unrealistic. Most women do not get to be stay at home wives; most of us are just thrilled if we can stay home with our kids. And I'm sure you know that being a SAHM is hard work. Every life has its upsides. If you left your field, you might miss the stimulation and the camaraderie. Making friends at work or school is ea…
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/22 12:04 AM
2

De-escalate whenever possible. It sounds like you are both stressed out and getting pointlessly snappish. I wouldn't waste too much energy analyzing the situation- just accept that this is where you're at, and work with it. Try to do fun, or at least relaxing things together. Watch a movie, eat something tasty, take a hike. When the conversation starts getting pointlessly unpleasant, change the subject. Break the cycle of crankiness!
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/22 08:25 PM
1

I see. In that case I would probably ask him to do around the house. If that's not a possibility, maybe you could hire help? I know you posted asking for ways to help HIM, but it sounds like you're pretty overworked yourself, and it's hard to be a good wife when you're exhausted.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/22 10:50 PM
16

I am confused about why housework is taking so much time and energy, in a home with no kids. How dirty can your home get with only one adult home all day? You should not be running yourself ragged! and there's no call to make yourself into a housemaid. I suggest cooking simpler meals, which also means less clean-up. Give yourself a break. Try to do something FUN most days, whether that means calling a friend, taking yourself out for a coffee, going to the park, whatever it is that makes you feel…
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/22 01:42 AM
1

I think Laura Doyle is addressing women who really want to stay with their husbands. Those ladies are likely looking for someone to tell them yes, it's ok to stay, and your marriage can improve. I agree that this can feel...uncomfortable in some cases. I like reading Laura Doyle and I find her very charming but her strategies haven't really done much for my marriage. When I try saying things like "whatever you think is right" or "I trust you," my husband wonders why I'm failing to engage with hi…
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/22 05:52 PM
1

We spent a few months church-hopping to find one that suited us. Nobody seemed to mind - we just attended a few services of each church, sitting in the back. It was a nice process.
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/22 01:29 AM
5

I'm not in your situation, but I definitely struggle with consistency. What helps me and steadies my mood: ​ -Like Teacup said, prayer. These days I am trying to take a few minutes in the middle of the day to pray, whenever I feel myself getting overwhelmed. Prayer reminds me of what's important and eternal. But it also gives me the chance to open myself up and admit to my darker feelings. -Lowering my expectations. I am trying to accept that sometimes I'm going to lose my temper; sometimes I'm …
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/22 09:38 PM
2

I had a lot of those "you vs the problem vs me" situations in the first few years of marriage! Dealing with in-laws was a big one for that; also dealing with our own kids when they were very small. It wouldn't have worked to frame things in terms of "you and me vs the problem" because we didn't always see the problem in the same way.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/22 10:37 PM
2

I don't know if you'd call it stoicism, but I think women can be very good at finding the good in people and seeing them with love, even when they are not at their best. For example, if your husband is struggling and acting a little unreasonable, it would be a kindness to look past his flaws (even while acknowledging them to yourself in a non-judgemental way). Of course, it is HARD to be strong and forbearing even at the best of times. And you are going through a hard time. Try to be gentle with…
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/22 08:33 PM
3

What do you mean by "first stage," "second stage," etc? Are you envisioning this as a series of stages which men pass through? Or do you see it more as a hierarchy? Curious what drove you to create this system and post it here. Do you see it as helping women understand their husbands better?
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/22 10:52 PM
28

It isn't "bad" to be alone, but it can turn into a bit of a trap. Speaking as a loner myseld, with a workaholic husband, it is very important not to let yourself get too comfortable being alone. Because then it gets harder and harder to get out of your comfort zone. So, I'd look for small ways to be more sociable. Maybe find a weekly activity to join. Hang out with your friends more often. Or even just chat with people when you're out and about. Pretty soon you'll start to feel more energized an…
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/22 02:36 AM
4

I don't think it's always a bad sign when there's conflict in a relationship. As long as you're not calling names or fighting dirty, there is no harm in an occasional fight to let loose and clear the air. My grandparents were happily married 60 years and had regular fights. Anyhow I think what OP is describing is a variation of "bring your husband your problem," which is solid advice.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/22 07:13 PM
3

To be honest, I wasn't trying to help so much as trying to understand. Your husband brings home a decent income; you also have a job which pays well and which you love. It sounds like your husband is helping with childcare so you're not having to carry that whole load. Rationally, you're in a good position. But you keep talking about "stress" and "pressure." So I was confused about where that's coming from. I can see that's really unhelpful though, so I'll bow out of this discussion :)
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/22 02:04 PM
5

I see. Question - if your household only needs to bring in 20 percent more than your husband's current salary, then why are you stressing out about keeping a job that brings in almost three times his salary? Why can't you just quit your high-pressure job and get a part time job to bring in that 20 percent? That way you'd also get more time at home with your daughter. I know it's not easy to find the right part time job - but it's worth looking, no?
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/22 01:50 PM
2

OP, you seem like you want your husband to take more responsibility and I think we can all understand that feeling. It is hard to tell whether you're being realistic, because you also seem highly emotional. Do you have a sense of how much he needs to earn for you to feel secure? Are you willing to contribute anything to this effort - either income or childcare? Or are you so burned out that you just want a break from responsibility?
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/22 01:03 PM
11

Many, many families raise kids on a smaller income than a tenured professor brings home. Of course it is fine to want more. But it seems like you have a high degree of anxiety around this. Maybe it would help if you put a price on it? Exactly how much more do you need to feel secure? It feels you are sort of feeling resentful of your husband for not earning more, when he is already a good earner.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/22 11:44 PM
24

I don't understand. You don't want to stop working. But you want your husband to take a second job and spend less time with your daughter, so that you can live on just his income? I don't know what he earns, but I know several families where the husband is a tenured professor and the wife is a SAHM. They have a very nice lifestyle.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/22 09:06 PM
8

The way I see this, OP is probably very angry and frightened. Her husband promised her to start trying for a baby years ago, and then changed his mind without giving her a new date. Since then, she has tried all kinds of ways to be patient and sweet. But I imagine that it's getting harder and harder not to feel furious at him. It sounds like this ultimatum (or boundary, whatever) is really her way of trying to save the relationship. She can either get angrier and angrier, or she can calmly say, …
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/22 09:48 PM
10

I dont know how to say this right but...it sounds like the resentment is just a distraction from your real problems, which are the logistics of getting everyone around. I know sometimes when I'm stressed out I pour energy into resenting my husband. Not because he is a bad guy, but just because I need a scapegoat. It's sort of the way my kids will sometimes act like everything that goes wrong is my fault. So, my advice is to stop fretting about resentment and focus on fixing the problem. Get some…
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/22 09:37 PM
11

I feel like you are making RPW into a strawman here. RP isnt about wealth and good looks. It's about understanding the differences between men and women. Obviously abuse is never justified. Maybe you need to work at finding out the signs of abuse earlier on...it is a little worrying that you did not spot the signs at all.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/22 04:39 PM
2

I mean, your post is very focused on how he makes you feel and whether he is good for you. Relationships go two ways. How do you make him feel? Are you good for him?
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/22 04:25 PM
3

As others have said, it sounds like you are choosing the wrong men. Maybe you are mistaking "abusive" for "dominant" ? I dont see anything wrong in choosing a more mellow, relaxed man. However I would be concerned that you haven't said anything about what you can do to make HIS life better. So far you've only talked about what he is doing for you and how he makes you feel.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/22 03:12 PM
25

Thanks for this post!! I feel like I am finally understanding what you ladies mean by submission. I especially appreciate "Submission is the word we use to describe acting like you love, respect and trust your man."
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/22 09:50 PM
1

Thanks - this is so clear. And a post on this would be amazing.
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/22 09:29 PM
2

I think this comment could be, ahem, phrased better. But also, I know where you're coming from. I am often confused when people talk about submission and dominance....what does it mean in practical terms? In my house, my husband pretty much has the final say on big decisions. But most of the time, we are not making big decisions. Really, most of the time we are each in our own lane, working on what we do best and supporting each other. I am generally more of a follower and he is more of a leader…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/22 06:41 PM
2

I think you sound very happy and content! However, I do think you could start to slowly work on making some new friends. And I think that as your baby turns into a toddler, your family will benefit from a bit of a bigger social circle. I'm saying this as a super shy person myself. I homeschool my kids, which means I really needed to build a community for them. But even if your kids go to daycare and school, they'll benefit from having a sense of shared community. Having hobbies does make it easi…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/22 06:09 PM
6

I love this series. Thanks for posting it! The focus on what we can do, as women, is just really inspiring. I actually recently issued a challenge to my husband and it has gone so well that I can hardly believe it. I was very honest with him - I told him that handling X project was making me feel overstretched and resentful, and that I'd like to either hand it over to him, or drop it completely. He took charge of it and has been amazing. Also he seems very happy and confident all of a sudden. So…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/22 05:58 PM
24

If you have a degree in public relations, can you look for a job doing PR for a worthwhile cause? Lots of nonprofits and foundations need PR people to raise awareness and help fundraise. Your day to day work might not be super exciting, but you'd be able to take pride in helping out a good cause. Plus you'd probably meet interesting people.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/22 03:46 AM
2

I am confused about what dominant means. Does it mean taking charge of everything? Or is it more a general style and energy? How would a highly-dominant man act in the home? My husband and I have very different spheres of power. He works hard all day. I stay home with the kids, and homeschool them, which means that I make the day to day decisions about their education, activities, etc. I do run everything by him and get his opinion, but he puts a ton of trust in me. I don't know where this puts …
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/22 10:42 PM
5

I agree with everyone about looking for ways to have fun. But also...it is ok for your life to get smaller, for a while. Right now you are focused on raising small children. Focusing tends to mean going small and deep, rather than big and broad. We all tend to glorify the expansive moments in life, but focus is just valuable. Just make sure that you allow yourself room for joy.
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/22 05:17 PM
3

Maybe you can think in terms of letting go of your old expectations. You were hoping that your careers would progress along a certain path, at a certain pacem that didn't happen. Your life - your shared life with your husband- has something else in store for you. Focus on discovering what's in your future.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/22 02:38 AM
5

We have a lot of assemble-it-yourself kinds of meals. I'll make beans, roast vegetables, and either fish or chicken, and then serve it with tortillas or rice. I sometimes make extra of everything and then serve some of the components later in the week, in different combinations.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/22 08:47 PM
1

I am like this when I'm stressed too: "I feel like I cannot breath for panic, honestly. It’s like I cannot look more than 10 minutes ahead in my schedule before I just can’t handle the thought of it." It helps me to break things down into tiny steps and come up with a really detailed to-do list. That way I don't have to think about the big picture, but things still get done. If you can afford to take a week off from work, especially as homeschooling gears up, that might help. Or if you can get t…
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/22 08:36 PM
2

I agree completely on the benefits of a male-led relationship. It is blissful:) I just don't follow the logic about men and committment. The post seems to be arguing that men take commitment more seriously than women do, and therefore men are reliable leaders who always work for the shared interest. I think it's worth pointing out that: Women sometimes jump the gun and accept male leadership too early. Sometimes women THINK a man is leading the way to marriage when he is not. Commitment does not…
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/22 05:04 PM
12

I have a male-led relationship and it makes me very happy. But I don't necessarily think all men are fit to lead. Not all men are capable of real commitment. Studies have shown that men are 6 times likelier than women to leave a partner who's been diagnosed with cancer. Of course, that's still not most men - but it's a sobering statistic. There are also lots of posts here from women who've been waiting and waiting for men to commit to them. Good men are wonderful but nobody should assume that ev…
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/22 01:05 AM
2

What do you appreciate in this relationship? What kinds of things do you like about this man? Everything you've described here sounds exhausting and overwhelming. It is worrying that he seems so unable to control his behavior. I would be very cautious about continuing with him. If you really want a relationship with him, then I don't know if a red pill approach will work. Seems to me that with this level of mental illness, you'd need to take an active role in directing the relationship, at least…
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/22 01:38 PM
6

That sounds rough! Does your husband ever go visit his mom alone, without you? Maybe she misses having that mother-son time once in a while? Obviously that doesn't make it ok for her to treat you badly. But it might help if you bowed out of a visit now and then?
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/22 03:11 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter