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Nastrosme Archive

View 0 posts and 211 comments by Nastrosme on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Exactly, but what really bothers me is the lack of grace. In earlier generations, dating involved a bit more patience and curiosity. You got to know someone slowly, and assumed there was something worth discovering. Now you have to present immediate superficial value otherwise you are quickly discarded. There is little room or margin for error. Westerners have no idea of how superficial and judgemental they really are. They hide it behind cliches ('It's just a preference', 'People like different…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 02:08 PM
1

Only after visual baseline has been met, and even then it gets traded quickly for a more attractive option.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 07:00 AM
1

What attracted you to these men?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 11:17 PM
1

Why do you assume that?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 12:47 AM
–

The problem Chinese men have is meeting women's financial expectations. If you've been to China, you would see men, even young men, holding hands with women their looks equivalent would probably never get in the west.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 10:27 PM
–

I don't agree with point 2. The difference is the cultures produce a more relational understanding of attractiveness that is somewhat similar to the way the west used to be decades ago. Women in most of those countries do not prioritise physical attractiveness in mates to the same extent as western women. Money has nothing to do with it. The same pattern is observable in the mate selection of affluent women. The difficulty of western dating is not just due to women's revealed preferences when th…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 12:37 PM
1

The girth variance is narrower too. When you get up to around 6 inches, you are near the top.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 12:06 PM
–

That is a myth. They don't see us as ideal. We are simply an alternative. My face is decent and I have personal qualities that appeal to them. It is what it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 11:40 AM
–

This is a western woman problem. In most of the east, men are appreciated more holistically. When I worked for a Chinese company, the number of attractive women who found me attractive physically utterly dwarfed the number of white women who felt the same way. Because I'm short and balding, I'm 'ugly' or 'not good enough' for most white women, but for many cute Asian women, mostly with high level degrees and good jobs, sometimes even from families much wealthier than mine, I'm a catch. Western w…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 11:36 AM
1

A woman 'settling' would be a female 5 going for a male 5. A man settling is a male 5 going for a female 3.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 11:16 AM
1

Girth also isn't talked about as much because there is less variation among men than length. The range is narrower. Technically speaking, more girth equals more friction which means more pleasure, but it really depends on the woman. Everyone's threshold/limit is different. On average, a bigger girth would be preferred, but the preference is only slightly above the average, not monster can size.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 11:09 AM
1

That is pure projection. Women in many of these countries view attraction in relation terms as a result of living in real communities. I know plenty of affluent Chinese women in their 40's who aren't married, and they have completely different standards for partners than white women.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 03:17 PM
2

I rejected a woman last year who told me that she probably wouldn't have picked me when she was in her 20's and 30's. Flat out said I'm done and stopped returning her messages and calls.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 03:12 PM
–

Fine, but my point was more general in nature. I don't assume that a woman making a compromise in attraction is not attracted to her partner. She may very well be, but if he does not meet the standard she prefers, it's only a matter of time before she moves on to her preferred type _unless_ there is a financial motivation, she is emotionally unstable or has very specific emotional/bonding needs. The first two groups of women (financially motivated and emotionally unstable ones) are far more comm…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 09:16 AM
–

It is the reversal that bothers me. The strict judging of our looks that is far more critical than we are of theirs while at the same time shaming us for having any physical standards at all. It is both psychological warfare and a form of abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 10:47 PM
–

It is important for women to at least consider that things may have not worked out with the short or bald man they dated because of buyer's remorse over compromising on physical attraction though. This is why men laugh at the whole 'Yeah I've dated bald guys, but my husband has hair' stories. Same with height, money etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 10:38 PM
–

So is a 6.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 10:28 PM
1

Flash gets rewarded in both cases. It isn't like the warm, kind hearted but unremarkable looking bookworm woman has men falling at her feet 24/7. And if many of us men are honest with ourselves, we have ignored those women in favour of more exciting and attractive women. As for ego, it is difficult for relationships to be authentic when social status is the main driver. i.e. assortative mating. And the obsession with optics is largely why many women ignore most men and chase 'Chads' and it is th…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 09:59 PM
1

It is about status, not because they want to pick his brain.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 09:48 PM
1

Those women are bums. I'm talking about educated, well put together, decent looking women from first or second tier cities. They care more about money and/or personal connection than conventional good looks when they are ready to settle down. Naturally they have to find a man attractive, but they assess a man's looks more holistically, which western women claim to do in theory only. Korea has kind of set the tone for the rest of Asia though in terms of beauty standards, cosmetic surgery etc, so …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 04:29 AM
1

Things are changing of course, but I think Korean women are more focused on conventional good looks. I find Chinese women are more flexible. The younger generations are pickier for sure, but even then, when I used to work in adult education, I was surprised at the types of women that found me 'handsome' (their words, not mine), and not just in a nice-to-say kind of way. It was often accompanied by touching, flirting or random comments to others. My look is unconventional. I'm short and heavily b…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 04:05 AM
1

South Korea is a lot like the west in terms of dating. It's different from most other eastern cultures.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 01:19 AM
1

It very rarely happens, and chances are the male 6 is just a friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 02:11 PM
–

Where are you from?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 12:50 PM
1

This exactly. Why should I share accumulated knowledge, wisdom and resources acquired over decades with a woman that conveniently course corrected in midlife? She is literally decades behind me in terms of development. I also rejected 'performative' women in my youth too, but it is insulting when women like that pretend they are on the same level as me. They are not.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 03:42 AM
1

And strong willed often means controlling.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 03:29 AM
1

I've rejected 3 women in the last 1.5 years for that reason. It isn't a fantasy for many of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 03:18 AM
1

They are ugly. All of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 01:34 AM
1

Standards for women's beauty have declined while men's have increased in countries like America and Australia. Add shaming language to the mix and a 'never settle for less than the best' mentality and yes you have a very distorted market. The fact that you mention starving or poor women tells me you are neither honestly engaging with this topic or understand it with any degree of depth or insight. Those of us who have lived in different cultures know the difference and have experienced it first …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 01:10 AM
2

Women should be glad when men are openly mad because it means they are still invested. Indifference is the real problem. When more men start giving up, that is when they will worry. Until then, they don't care.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 01:07 AM
2

Even a female psych I saw went through these stages during our sessions! 😆
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 12:38 AM
1

You have no empathy. That's the issue. Some men have it significantly harder.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 12:33 AM
1

The question is why it is so distorted and why this distortion isn't universal. Either way, we go where we have more viable options.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 12:25 AM
1

Only in countries like the US where the market is distorted.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 12:03 AM
1

In the west yes, but not elsewhere. Slim is the norm.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 11:58 PM
4

That's all it is. Deflection. Nothing more.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 11:44 PM
1

They know what it means, but they don't present it that way. It is presented as man 6 with the better personality wins over man 7 and man 8 with a worse personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 11:27 PM
1

Because it would shift the priorities and life focus of many men. We don't exist to serve you.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 11:16 PM
1

I remember saying this to my last psychologist, and she paused and then said 'Yes but you are assuming we are all attracted to the same things'. At that moment I realised she had nothing of value to contribute.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 10:58 PM
3

Very few women are into bald men or men that are losing their hair, and when they do, the man fits a narrow masculine stereotype. i.e. tall, muscly etc. Men who aren't that with hair loss are damn near invisible. I know because I'm one of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 10:18 PM
1

Semantics. Preferences drive selection.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 10:04 PM
3

Yes. They are being greedy, that's the issue. Also, the everyone-likes-different-things is a way to absolve some women of the guilt they feel for rejecting a man for being short or bald etc. 'Not for me, but other women will surely like him'.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 03:31 PM
3

It is the disqualifiers that are similar. Abscence is more important than presence. Abscence of height, hair etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 03:15 PM
4

And they have to be attracted to your face as well, which really narrows it down.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 03:14 PM
2

Eastern women also care about status, but there is a subtle elitism in many of those cultures that works in favour of intelligent men in my experience, provided the man isn't too geeky looking. I know several Chinese women with PhD's whose husbands are at least 3 points below them in SMV and don't make much more money than them either.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 07:24 AM
1

It is dramatic. A man would have to look pretty bad for that outcome to eventuate. More likely, men just don't like the few options they have. Even as a short guy, I didn't have major problems attracting decent looking women in my youth. Now in midlife and heavily balding, I still have the occasional opportunity. Would I have more chances if I lowered my attraction floor? Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 11:25 PM
7

Investment is different from labour. The former is about connection whereas the latter is managing the other person's emotions. It's a one sided deal for a man where a woman expects him to 'compensate' for physical flaws (usually) by essentially being a slave to her. In short, she treats him like a disposable 'nice guy', although a man like me isn't a 'nice guy' because my emotions are grounded and my kindness is not performative. I'm also not a bad looking guy, just not 'ideal'. I'm only intere…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 03:10 AM
0

Just world BS used to deflect the conversation away from women's harsh looks based filtering systems. When will you ladies finally admit this is what you are doing and/or actually engage in real self reflection? Same goes with all of that entitlement BS. It's just a cover for women's strict physical preferences and the brutality of the current mate market that they had a huge hand in creating.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 07:35 AM
1

They can cheat with less attractive men than their partners, that is true, but only in particular situations. e.g. a lonely middle aged married woman with unmet emotional needs etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 07:34 AM
1

It is bigger. Do people really believe that women don't feel attraction for even average or slightly below average men in the right context? It's all about status nowadays.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 07:31 AM
13

Of course she misses the point. They almost always do. And they don't get that many men suffer in silence during that period and have become cynical. The other problem is that many women who were shallow in their youth have 'performative depth' from 30-35+ onward which is just strategic positioning. Men who have lived lives of relative depth are often not interested in accepting those women later in life. I recently had a fairly good looking woman interested in me, and I turned her down because …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 06:57 AM
1

If the woman is less attractive than me, her advice is usually to date a less attractive woman. If she is at a similar level or higher, her advice is usually keep looking and don't 'settle'.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 04:16 AM
15

This is true of western women definitely. A female PhD in the Anglosphere wants the same thing in a man as the bimbo in the club. The only difference is that she requires the man to have a higher degree, not for 'intellectual conversation' but for ego and status.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 04:13 AM
1

Attraction doesn't really work like that, at least not in emotionally healthy people.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/25 02:30 AM
1

Perhaps I'm an unusual man, because I think most women are pretty shallow emotionally. I rarely feel they are 'on my level', so to speak, at least in the west. Just self absorbed and egocentric. In a way I'm glad because it forced me to seek alignment elsewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 11:33 PM
3

I disagree, although I appreciate the extended response. They don't value it because they don't have it themselves, and even if they do, there is a lot of pressures working against them selecting for it, both biological and social. They seem to only value it when they are tired of being kicked around, and it is usually less intelligent women that notice imo, and even then it is not an integrated form of attraction, it is a trade off/compensation, which is the exact opposite of my experience with…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 11:04 PM
3

The problem is the baseline is too high, and men are often resentful of this, especially if they spent time developing other qualities. It feels like betrayal. I only date well educated Asian women now because as a short balding man, I end up with scraps in the west and very rarely with women of comparable facial attractiveness. Western women have no appreciation for polarity and emotional depth in men.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 10:09 PM
6

Their looks filter is too harsh, that is the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 10:04 PM
1

Fairness talk is mostly BS and basically translates to 'I want what this person has that I don't'. It is even worse when the privilege is perceived rather than real and significant resources are directed toward achieving the dubious goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 09:03 AM
–

We mature, you don't. That is my point. Women are the same at 50 as they are at 30.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 12:02 AM
–

Nice editing. My point is that they don't change or mature, they just visibly age. As for confidence, it doesn't appear magically. That's not how it works. It is a negotiation between internal and external feedback/supports.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 11:58 PM
–

Confidence is based on positive feedback. Also, I was approached more which has nothing to do with confidence. I'm also in my 40's. Women don't change. They just get old, but the same preferences remain. And yeah, fat bald men can date. There are plenty of undesirable women out there for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 11:52 PM
–

Men care about reality, not just world BS. When I was fat I barely got any women. When I became trim, I got a lot more interest. Same as when I had a full head of hair. Personality is the last thing women care about unless they are physically undesirable or extremely exploitative.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 11:39 PM
1

The shallow accusation is nonsense. Assortative mating is the norm which suggests that most people are as shallow as they can afford to be. When the word shallow is thrown around in any discussion about dating and romance, you are almost always dealing with a mental midget.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 11:30 PM
1

It's the default position. Appreciating finer points takes time and a certain level of mental maturity that society doesn't encourage or cultivate, but even if it did, the end result would likely be the same. i.e. assortative mating.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 11:26 PM
–

Nonsense. Women select on looks alone until they settle down, and even then personality is 20% of the overall equation max.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 11:07 PM
1

If we had more rational free thinking women, we wouldn't be in this mess, or at least not this deep in it. As for relationships in general, most men I know are in bad marriages or long term relationships where they are basically controlled by their spouses/girlfriends, with few exceptions. Maybe 1 is happy because he chose reasonably well or got lucky. I suspect the latter.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 03:05 PM
1

I find it very hard to believe that many women don't know what they are doing in this regard. That they don't realise how much things are tilted in their favour in many social/cultural/political spheres. Even my previous female psychologist admitted that the discourse has probably gone too far in the other direction, but when I mentioned that women benefit from it so why would they challenge it, she just stared at me like I had 3 heads.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 01:40 PM
1

Nope. My point is simply that the difference is one of value. A woman who values money more than looks will usually trade off _some_ looks for financial security, but that doesn't mean she dislikes the man she selects or doesn't feel attraction. The average woman who selects a man based on looks and income is generally using her own appearance and social standing as a barometer.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 10:01 AM
1

Female therapists are especially bad if your problems relate to women. They can become very condescending, even hostile. I know. I've experienced it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/25 12:46 PM
1

I couldn't even get my female psychologist to admit any of these things last year when it came up. I basically said women lie about looks, their sexual desires etc, and society goes along with it, and she was often looked annoyed when it came up and accused me of generalising, having black and white thinking etc. The lie benefits women because if enough suckers believe it, it's easier for them to switch lanes if necessary. Their first preference/filter is looks, but if things get tough for them,…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/25 11:22 AM
2

Don't waste your time. This person is unwilling to engage with the purpose/function of the lie and why it's so prevalent in society. If everyone really knows that it's all nonsense, it wouldn't continue to circulate.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/25 10:58 AM
1

The question is what function does this lie serve, and why is it so widespread? Sure we can blame men for 'believing' it, but what do they believe it? Why was it necessary for them to do so?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/25 10:51 AM
1

Those relationships are also transactional as 'equal values' are being exchanged. We only tend to use that word to describe relationships with obvious asymmetries, but this is just a way for us to avoid the uncomfortable truth about ourselves. i.e. that are are superficial, classist, unaccepting of difference etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/25 10:45 AM
1

Most of them are just bitches. That's it. Everything they say is projection, including this 'entitlement' nonsense. Gender politics is nothing more than a power play. Equality doesn't exist. Power does, and now that they have more power in certain areas, why would they want it to change?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/25 10:35 AM
1

It's better for a man in that situation to remain single than date a low value woman and confirm his status.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/25 10:30 AM
1

Agree that women would be horrified/shocked etc. My last therapist did not appreciate when I was even mildly critical of women's behaviour in society, particularly their shallowness, and she would often get defensive about it and take on a mocking/condescending tone.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/25 10:27 AM
3

He said over evaluation. There is a difference between that and wanting to be attracted to your partner. The fact that you don't understand that difference is telling.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/25 09:40 AM
1

Where are you from? Some eastern countries are somewhat similar. Although many women have height preferences there too, especially in China, the 'a nice face is a nice face' attitude is more common, so being short or balding or both (in my case), is not the death sentence that it is in the west, at least if a man wants to date reasonably attractive women.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 12:16 PM
8

They are only interested in the surface level appearance of things, including feelings, emotions, romance, commitment etc. That's why they get over relationships quicker as well. Their attachment style is shallow.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 10:56 AM
1

Yes, but the bigger problem isn't women's attraction preferences. If a woman doesn't want to fuck me because I'm short, what can I do about it? The real problem is social aggression often directed towards short men by them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 10:33 AM
3

Educated women from the upper middle class are the most superficial women because they aspire to live a typical bourgeois life, which involves all the trappings of wealth and success. Having a conventionally attractive partner is part of the success requirement. Asian women are more likely to prioritize financial security and/or emotional safety than white women. Their societies are low trust, which leads them to make very different mate choices. This is why white men with obvious beauty flaws (…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/25 05:23 AM
1

What does it mean to go for a person who isn't your usual type but still your looks match? A guy with long hair when your preference is short? A bald or short man with a decent face?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/25 04:23 AM
1

Yep. This is what I experience more now as an older man, only some of these women feel attraction either instantly or in the early stages of the interaction. 2 have even told me outright that I'm not the man they would have been interested in 5 or 10 years ago let alone 20. i.e. short and balding.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 06:22 PM
1

Nobody drops from a 10 to a 4 because of hair loss. That is completely ridiculous. 2 points maximum loss. Maybe 3 if the head shape is bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 05:30 PM
4

Any man that is physically lacking in some way is emotionally vulnerable when it comes women, even if he has had some success. He is rarely, if ever, in a state of comfort and security because he knows his position is tenuous. Are there differences in how well educated and 'ghetto' type women date? Definitely, but I'd say less so than there were at least two generations ago. If anything, I think educated women can be more shallow in their mate choices, especially western ones. Some red pillers c…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 09:03 AM
1

We are talking past each other. I'm referring more to the problem of having a very limited selection pool. I personally would not be content with just having occasional interest from a mediocre looking woman. Most men wouldn't either. Some, of course, have no choice, but I really don't like the whole 'there is a woman out there for you' message.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 08:12 AM
1

Yes, your chances are definitely higher, but your post made it sound like the important thing is to attract 'a woman', not women in general. Perhaps I'm interpreting too literally, but if your appeal is that limited, chances are the woman in question won't be particularly appealing (physically).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 04:31 AM
1

Nah. Most men are too poorly endowed (i.e. girth) to create the necessary tension/friction to help women along.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 07:37 PM
1

The point is to find a sufficiently attractive woman, not just a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 07:15 PM
1

Nah. Even the western average is smaller than once suspected.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 07:02 PM
1

The main issue for men is sexual imprinting. If a man is average and his partner's ex was quite big and she responded positively, resulting in unprecedented levels of pleasure, there is always a possibility that she will withdraw sex at some point, seek it elsewhere or start causing problems in the relationship (i.e. arguments etc) due to sexual dissatisfaction that is not consciously acknowledged. The pressure men feel around sex is to a large extent due to the knowledge that women have higher …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 07:00 PM
1

That's the reason it's the best sex. When skill is accounted for, it's the size that makes all the difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 06:46 PM
1

Because those women are undesirable. We want desirable women.
/r/ExRedPill20/04/25 01:28 PM
1

Because men's idea of attraction is more flexible. Men only get a lot of attention if they fit the ideal. Women get attention if they are above a certain threshold.
/r/ExRedPill20/04/25 01:23 PM
0

It isn't that nobody believes that women can't be genuinely attracted to men because of their personalities but more that personality isn't what causes the actual attraction and is merely a justification for the attraction that is occurring on a much deeper unconscious level. Personality is generally not the first filter. It's the second or third filter. The first filter is almost always external.
/r/ExRedPill02/04/25 09:56 AM
1

It's basically an exaggerated view of assortative mating. If we accept this as true, and the research certainly supports it, then you have to just admit that people are largely superficial. In this context, the effect of personality is not really measurable or quantifiable, which then places the emphasis on external factors. Women get the most criticism because of the common perception that their superficiality is downplayed and in a way 'hidden' whereas men's is more transparent. An 'exception'…
/r/ExRedPill02/04/25 09:41 AM
2

Sure, but dating and romance are all about probabilities. A man with an obvious beauty flaw has to effectively ignore it to have success, but he can't do that unless he effectively calibrates, lowers his expectations, meets tons of women and faces countless rejections. It can be exhausting.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 10:55 PM
1

Women find different men attractive but have similar disqualifiers. e.g. lack of height, hair etc. There is definitely variation among women in terms of taste, but it is within very narrow and specific boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 10:51 PM
1

Going bald can fracture a man's self image. It is well understood in psych literature, but it is downplayed by most therapists as well as society. Part of the problem is that no one cares about men's problems and it is assumed that women are more accepting than they actually are, but it is really people's reluctance to admit how important looks are on a deeper fundamental level, even to themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 10:48 PM
1

But you said it yourself, it is contingent on many factors such as head shape, face shape etc. Overall it is true that a person's face is their most attractive feature, but balding and baldness generally decrease attractiveness. As a heavily balding man myself, my options have definitely narrowed, although I can't say the women I attract are necessarily less attractive than before.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 10:44 PM
1

It's important to reflect on why you are attracted to some things rather than others, whether it's height, a full head of hair etc. The concept of genetic 'fitness' may not be conscious, but it's baked in.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 11:03 AM
1

Probably not much to look at themselves if that's the case.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 09:29 AM
2

Like how women supposedly want a lot of foreplay whereas men with actual experience know that they rush right to PIV unless the man has a third arm.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 07:31 AM
1

It matters more for looks matched people, not to make a woman want a man who is less attractive than her usual type.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 07:13 AM
1

These values and snap judgements apply across the board in a variety of different social contexts.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 06:56 AM
1

It is more common in Asian and SA cultures.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 06:49 AM
1

The fact that most couples are looksmatched is key to understanding what it is really about.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/25 10:02 PM
1

So you are more inclined to believe that men today are more likely to be single if their financial situation is mediocre to poor above all else? No doubt women do try to date up. Whether they are successful or not is a whole different matter. The more financially successful they are the harder it is, and there just aren't enough rich men to go around!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 09:31 AM
1

It is deception because it often delivered in a moralistic way. If they want to be picky about looks that is fine, but don't pretend that personality compensates for weak attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/25 10:22 PM
1

What they are less forthcoming about is how picky they are about looks, and this annoys men because we are shamed for our preferences and made to feel guilty about them. Women also get on their high horse. It is more than sugar coating. It is gaining social advantage by deception.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 09:49 PM
1

This is the reason I stopped seeing a female psych about hair loss. It was a waste of time. She just told me I was generalising women and suffered from low self esteem. The only admission she ever made is that 'some' women care. lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 02:11 PM
1

We are told women grow out of this phase and start to value other things. Perhaps they did in a time when they were financially dependent.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 02:04 PM
1

But the point is women make a big deal about how personality is more attractive than looks when it isn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 01:38 PM
3

Then they need to stop the BS about how so and so desirable traits can make up for physical flaws.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 01:16 PM
1

Why don't you focus on finding the right person rather than gloat about 'dating up'? Most women are not dating up anyway, at least not seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/25 12:59 PM
1

I don't see the point of claiming that women have a wide variety of aesthetic preferences if average to above average looking women generally don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 03:10 PM
1

That's only true if the man is above her in looks. It isn't true for women on his level.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 03:05 PM
1

Options matter because they increase the odds of finding suitable partners with less compromise.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 02:45 PM
1

As a short man, I've found that women always find a way to bring it up, even when they supposedly like you. Usually in a passive aggressive way too. Perhaps it's a reminder that she 'settled'. i.e. accepted rather than forgave.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 02:32 PM
2

It's nonsense. Pure hubris.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 02:02 PM
1

It's delusion. Painting the nice guy as the desperate alternative who isn't genuine.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 01:59 PM
2

That proves nothing. What matters is optionality and quality of mates. Of course short men, bald men etc can get mates, but they are low value ones in most cases, whether in looks and/or personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 01:34 PM
1

Women who are less attractive are more open minded, but women who are at least average or better are not. They tend towards convention.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 01:32 PM
2

You are incredibly naive if you believe this. It's an excuse used to justify an aesthetic preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 01:15 PM
2

I get this reaction even from my female psychologist. No empathy or sympathy at all. She just accuses me of generalising women and reminding me that not all women have the same standards etc. Then she tells me I've had some success so I have nothing to worry about, so again, refuses to address any of the real problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 01:09 PM
1

It's biology and social conformity, but it's primarily biology. Women are also 'punished', that's true, but men are viewed as ugly for minor deviations whereas women are not.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 01:07 PM
1

To state that other things are also considered is also an attempt at obfuscation. What matters is the first filter, and that first filter is looks. They consider other things _after_ attraction has been established, not before, and personality is of secondary importance.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 12:57 PM
1

Because research supports this view. Nobody is claiming that bald men can't find romantic partners. They just have less options overall. The further a man deviates from convention, the more he is 'discounted' in the SMP. It doesn't take much to deviate either. Even a minor looks deviation is 'punished', generally speaking.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 12:53 PM
1

Both are fantasies for men and women respectively, not representations of real wants.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 07:42 AM
1

This is one of the strangest complaints. Many about looks are valid, but the idea that women are delaying sex because they are not attracted enough is a dangerous mental path to go down for a man. And even if it is true, which I'm sure it is in some cases, is it really a big deal that she may feel less desire for her current man than one she had a short term fling with, especially if she has long term plans? I'm in my mid 40's and have zero problems waiting for sex. If the woman is worth it, it …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/25 06:57 AM
1

Most women reject short men, so height is clearly a major factor. Women also tend to reject bald or balding men, especially online. People are generally quite superficial. The main difference between the genders is that men tend to be more honest about it and women sometimes trade off looks for money.
/r/ExRedPill30/12/24 11:00 AM
1

Women are pickier because they are the selectors and have more options. They are both rigid and more 'flexible', depending on their aims/goals at any given point in time and the life stage they are at. I'm not 'projecting' as I don't follow this dating pattern myself. My views are based on direct experience as well as observation and some attraction studies.
/r/ExRedPill28/12/24 09:40 AM
1

That is your problem right there. You can't differentiate between levels. My point is simply this: if you attract people in the range of 5 to 7, for example, ignoring everyone that isn't at least a 6.5 is a very bad strategy.
/r/ExRedPill28/12/24 01:53 AM
1

A 'fat' (not obese) woman with an attractive face is not a person I would immediately reject.
/r/ExRedPill25/12/24 08:52 AM
1

Everyone wants an attractive partner, and expecting a mildly attractive one isn't a huge ask.
/r/ExRedPill25/12/24 07:47 AM
1

Stop going for the best looking men available to you. Problem solved.
/r/ExRedPill25/12/24 07:37 AM
1

Having sex with a 6 or 7 is better than with a 4. Social validation is secondary.
/r/ExRedPill25/12/24 06:59 AM
0

Dating the most attractive people you can get is a very poor long term strategy. The aim is to find the most compatible partner with decent looks, not the hottest one.
/r/ExRedPill25/12/24 06:23 AM
0

In today's world, looks are no.1 for men and women, so they aren't necessarily wrong.
/r/ExRedPill25/12/24 06:17 AM
1

Attitude doesn't create attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 11:43 PM
1

Only for good looking men.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 11:24 PM
1

Rubbish.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 11:13 PM
1

Not the same thing at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 10:37 PM
1

The point isn't that every single short or bald man will be discriminated against. They just face much higher levels of rejection and find it harder to find mates than men of similar facial attractiveness who lack these traits, and sometimes men with lower levels of facial attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 12:03 PM
1

So short men and bald men have equal chances with women? You are ignoring the real studies on female attraction. These are FACTS about female mate selection.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 11:57 AM
1

Research supports me, not you. So does a life of experience. Just because you think women all have different preferences, it doesn't mean that broad trends/patterns in selection don't exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 06:06 AM
1

They want all of those things in addition to superficial characteristics and refuse to budge on the external factors.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 04:50 AM
1

Why are you so desperate to refute what is obvious? Women generally have the same disqualifiers. Short, bald etc. The choices are only 'subjective' within a narrow range of acceptability.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 04:48 AM
–

What responsibility do men have in this context?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/24 06:40 AM
1

Feral in terms of chasing sexual desire. Yes real intimacy and connection are rare, but women talk like it's a big priority for them yet generally choose men that can't offer that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 11:50 AM
1

Women are the same. People are superficial.
/r/ExRedPill23/03/24 08:48 AM
1

Of course those pressure are increasing on men and boys as well now but perhaps that just serves to give you a taste of what women experience. So we have to do the work, so to speak, and look really good? And this is somehow getting a 'taste' of what women experience despite the fact that women put in much less work overall? Okay.
/r/ExRedPill23/03/24 08:45 AM
1

Who isn't attracted? The men or the women? I'm not following. All I'm saying is that women overestimate their desire for real intimacy and connection, and there is a strong conditioning aspect to this. Women are no more enlightened than men. The average woman is completely feral.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/24 07:49 AM
1

To me this misinformation given to men about women is pretty much a form of abuse that has dire social consequences. The real question is why does it persist? You don't seem interested in that question.
/r/ExRedPill23/03/24 07:36 AM
1

It still mostly results in man hating for the same reason that Marxists end up hating rich people despite claiming to engage in quasi-objective 'systemic analysis'.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 05:11 PM
1

If it took women thousands of years to break their chains, they are dumb as hell. The reality is that history isn't that simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 05:02 PM
1

No. They don't care that much about intimacy and connection, that's why they just chase the hottest men available. At least in the west anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 05:01 PM
1

They overestimate their desire for real intimacy and connection and underrate how much they value sex, looks etc? It's just projection.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 04:05 PM
1

No. Men tend to judge based on the mid tier level women they can attract. It makes no sense for us to judge on the 'top level women', because we don't attract them nearly as often. Of course, for an LTR we could hold up, but that is a bad strategy because in most cases you would be sacrificing a quality connection for looks, which ultimately fade.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 10:10 AM
3

What is an 'unconventionally attractive' woman though? I agree with you that less attractive women need charm, but only to lock down men higher up the ladder.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 09:51 AM
1

We do offer partnership. It just isn't valued until women get old enough to settle down.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 09:39 AM
1

So basically contemporary women's approach to dating, at least in the west, is based on a shallow kind of cynicism and ultimately reflects their complete inability to connect with men on a meaningful level.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 10:26 AM
1

I'm in my mid 40's. I get more interest now than in my mid 20's, but ultimately you don't care as much about women as you get older. Getting validation becomes less of a 'thing'.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 07:32 AM
1

Because personality is overstated in terms of value. Women primarily go for looks and/or social status. The man you are, deep down inside, doesn't matter or just a bonus.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 10:25 PM
1

Sex is not the only goal. Women who think this way are idiots.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 03:01 PM
2

Women care more about looks than men. Stop the cap. Your 'less than average' is average and your average is above average.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 02:42 PM
1

Who doesn't if they can?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 02:18 PM
2

Nah. In middle age, the rules change. Options widen for many men, and nobody looks as good as they used to.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/24 01:43 PM
1

Nonsense. Average looking women have far more options.
/r/seduction06/03/24 09:55 AM
4

The big problem with red pillers is the assumption that female desire is a one way street. In their eyes, if a woman 'desires you' (i.e. sleeps with you immediately or shortly upon meeting), somehow that is legitimate and every other reason given for dating or attraction is just a 'rationalisation'. If a woman doesn't feel 'burning desire', any engagement is inferior and of much lesser quality. Yet most of us who have some experience with women know the reality is far more complex. The women who…
/r/ExRedPill03/02/24 12:45 PM
1

Many men are lazy I've noticed. Yes it's hard to attract pretty women, but why would anyone expect it to be easy, especially if they are average themselves? I've occasionally attracted women above my league, but that was because I grew on them and I 'charmed' them somehow. You have to put in the work in real life. Sending messages online often isn't enough.
/r/ExRedPill17/01/24 10:17 AM
-1

You have it arse backwards. The men in these situations are usually abused and are trying their best to understand what happened to them.
/r/ExRedPill17/01/24 08:45 AM
2

To an extent, but I think men attracted to RP have a specific psychological 'architecture', so to speak, that makes them vulnerable to all sorts of abuse and charlatan behaviour.
/r/ExRedPill17/01/24 08:40 AM
1

'Entangled' is a better word than dated. I think many women are on the BPD spectrum, but it's not severe enough to be classified as a disorder. However, they can do just as much damage as full blown cases because the problems generally show up in romantic relationships where feelings are involved. Avoid them like the plague if you are the sensitive type. I met a very pretty woman from Asia last year who was diagnosed with BPD. She is a little above my looks range, but the BPD diagnosis put me of…
/r/ExRedPill17/01/24 08:38 AM
1

Where did I say that I wasn't successful with women? Please direct me to that comment. Looks have a big impact on dating. Most couples are quite evenly matched in looks. If personality was so important, why is this a consistent observation confirmed by actual research? The reason people _assume_ that there is something else going on (e.g. money, mental illness etc) is because couples that are not evenly matched in looks aren't that common, comparatively speaking, so it's the 'gap' that creates '…
/r/ExRedPill27/12/23 04:17 PM
1

I'm willing to agree with some of those points, but not with the accusations of entitlement. I didn't say that women should be attracted to me. I just wish I didn't have some undesirable physical traits, that's all. In fact, I understand why they are not attracted to these traits as a general rule. My view of life is more tragic rather than entitled. I'm a pessimist at heart.
/r/ExRedPill26/12/23 07:56 AM
2

I've noticed this in regards to many Cluster B personality disorders. For example, you aren't diagnosed with one if it doesn't cause you personal distress. In other words, if it doesn't interfere with your ability to earn a living and 'function' in a conventional sense. If it causes problems to other people, it's of far less significance. Thanks for the tip.
/r/ExRedPill26/12/23 03:43 AM
1

If you are a sensitive man, your girlfriend is probably going to know anyway and it could be one of the main reasons she was attracted to you in the first place. I tried to play the 'hiding game' back in my 20s, but the women always knew because it comes out in other ways. i.e. how you talk to her, kiss, touch or hold her, even sex etc. The other thing worth considering is that sometimes this 'fear' that we project onto women (or women project onto men) is a more deeply rooted fear within oursel…
/r/ExRedPill26/12/23 02:36 AM
1

And psychology has no social goals. It's really about improving the individual to make him/her more functional and productive in a dog-eat-dog world.
/r/ExRedPill26/12/23 02:08 AM
1

I don't need to stop and think about that because it's a study that obviously took that fact into account. These researchers aren't dumb. It isn't about getting a woman. It's about getting women that you find sufficiently attractive. Baldness can definitely get in the way of that for some men. Regarding not saying it is a factor: I have read that middle aged women are more likely to be 'neutral' towards it, but neutral is not necessarily good. Are you drawn to things that you find neutral? Do yo…
/r/ExRedPill23/12/23 06:18 PM
1

They don't 'overlook' looks. A lot of women just have a high opinion of their own looks that does not accord with reality. Most men who say things like that underestimate their own appeal to the opposite sex because we have been conditioned by contemporary culture to do so. If a woman is sleeping with you, she likes how you look, regardless of what she says. You may not be the best looking man she has ever been with, but that should not be the sole measure of whether you are appealing to her or …
/r/ExRedPill20/12/23 08:05 AM
1

Oh yes, classic 'male entitlement'. I never said anything about obligation. And I disagree with you about the shallow part. Humans are shallow. That is life. I'm not completely bald, but that is a nonsense statistic. Baldness is universally viewed as an unattractive or less attractive trait. Women are 4-5 times more likely to date men with hair. That is based on real research, not internet stuff. Some online surveys say otherwise, but they are not reliable, and when women say they like bald men,…
/r/ExRedPill20/12/23 08:03 AM
0

We are in uncharted territory insofar as courtship is pretty much dead and people don't date in the way they used to, which means emphasis is placed 'elsewhere.' You recognise this more if you have ever lived in a traditional culture or community with more traditional values. Women are pickier with more looks and have more non-negotiables/disqualifiers. The studies that say otherwise are generally based on self reporting. If you want to know how picky women really are, just look at speed dating …
/r/ExRedPill20/12/23 07:56 AM
1

This is all full of baseless assumptions. I never said anything about not being able to attract women, and I'm extremely picky about personality, otherwise I would date more. Most women I've dated in my life have been cute next door types with a few sexy ones here and there. I suggested that female superficiality is vastly underestimated, and I would go a step further and say that women are not honest about it at all, not even to themselves. Many women also don't want committed relationships unt…
/r/ExRedPill18/12/23 05:59 AM
-2

Personality is a distant third. When I was overweight, I barely got any attention from women. When I lost weight, I had a lot more attention. Same goes for when I had a full head of hair. Women have eyes too, and they screen men accordingly. Yes you can still enter a relationship, but there is a noticeable drop in both quantity and the looks of the women that take interest, generally speaking.
/r/ExRedPill18/12/23 03:10 AM
1

Regarding divorce and the division of marital assets, for example. Do you think if women were the ones that were mostly disadvantaged that these laws remain the same? I seriously doubt it.
/r/ExRedPill18/12/23 02:50 AM
-2

Stop the cap. Women often justify their selections based on personality, but that doesn't mean that's really the motivation.
/r/ExRedPill18/12/23 02:49 AM
-1

Really? So short and/or bald men are extremely popular with women? That's news to me.
/r/ExRedPill18/12/23 02:48 AM
1

Attractive men are not short of dates. Men with status are also usually in the same position. The absence of these things means less attention/dates.
/r/ExRedPill18/12/23 02:47 AM
1

That is a flawed hypothetical as most women have more than two choices. Most women would pick Jason anyway. He would get dates at the very least.
/r/ExRedPill18/12/23 02:46 AM
1

No they don't. They actually show that it's better for the woman to be more attractive. 4's are not getting 6's for long term relationships. I do agree with you that women are aspirational though, but they usually fail.
/r/ExRedPill17/12/23 02:43 PM
1

Do you think these laws would be the same if they didn't benefit women though? I wonder.
/r/ExRedPill17/12/23 02:42 PM
1

I don't believe that is true. These types didn't exist prior to feminism. What they are responding to is a new kind of 'social order' where men no longer have as much value as they once did, and they see women going along with the male bashing and supporting their 'downfall' and get resentful about it. Is their anger often misplaced? Yes, but the rot cannot be simply blamed on 'patriarchy'. It's a deeper social issue.
/r/ExRedPill17/12/23 02:41 PM
2

The biggest problem with the lack of men in psychology is that men who vent about their problems to female therapists often get bad reactions. I know I have.
/r/ExRedPill17/12/23 02:35 PM
2

I'm glad you mentioned the trauma factor. I sometimes deep dive into red pill world, but I do recognise that most of it is BS. My experience with women has been largely negative due to my lack of height and having very manipulative women around me in the family. Most of the women I've dated or been involved with (usually temporarily) are 'all over the place emotionally'. The most recent one was on the BPD spectrum I think. I really have no idea what it's like to have a healthy relationship with …
/r/ExRedPill17/12/23 02:23 PM
2

What about a below average looking man? How does he fare? Regarding women having more flexible definitions of attractiveness, if that's true, why do so many men struggle to date? I think it's only true in specific contexts/environments where there is a repeated exposure effect.
/r/ExRedPill17/12/23 02:18 PM
1

I agree with you more broadly, but we are definitely in quite uncharted territory at the moment. Part of what the Manosphere gets wrong is assuming that because women place more emphasis on physical attraction for hook ups, that means they only desire men of that caliber and anything else is settling. Any man that claims that men don't distinguish between sexual partners based on looks has never been with a decent looking woman. There is a big difference between sleeping with a sexy woman and sl…
/r/ExRedPill17/12/23 02:09 PM
1

Unfortunately, this is a very weak rebuttal that just glues a bunch of random questionable quotes together and doesn't really debunk anything. Is there evidence for a dual mating strategy in women? If so, how are men supposed to respond to it?
/r/ExRedPill17/12/23 02:01 PM
2

It's a risk. It means they could have commitment problems or that they can easily separate sex from commitment, which means they make decisions on whatever is most convenient for them at any given life stage.
/r/ExRedPill17/12/23 01:49 PM
1

Beauty is not subjective, and women tend to agree on disqualifiers more than men. For example, short men are generally unappealing to women and so are bald men. That doesn't mean these men don't have options, but women generally agree that they are not attractive, or at least less attractive, which is really the same thing when it comes to dating. To some extent culture matters here as well. I'm a short balding man, and while white women often look down on me, I don't have major problems dating …
/r/ExRedPill17/12/23 01:46 PM
1

Women don't like dad bods in real life. It's just a meme that caught on.
/r/ExRedPill17/12/23 01:44 PM
1

It's true, but whether they have many options or not is an entirely different matter. In terms of opportunity, looks are more objective.
/r/ExRedPill17/12/23 01:43 PM
1

A woman that is 10 years older than me is a friend at best. I've had women 6-7 years older pursue me and for me that is too old. Each to their own of course.
/r/ExRedPill17/12/23 01:36 PM
1

That's the wall in a nutshell. You lose the ability to get what you want. In this case, a good looking financially well off man.
/r/ExRedPill17/12/23 01:34 PM
1

6 inches is not average, at least not according to actual research.
/r/ExRedPill17/12/23 01:29 PM
2

Because it's obvious. It's the concrete common denominator. Men with those advantages in life are not short of dates.
/r/ExRedPill17/12/23 01:23 PM
1

Australian women are into looks at that age, that's it. Men that don't make the cut for whatever reason are forced to look elsewhere.
/r/ExRedPill17/12/23 01:15 PM
1

Men want attractive women, not just any woman. Honestly, the main reason I worry about losing my hair is because I worry about not being able to attract women that look good to me.
/r/ExRedPill17/12/23 01:14 PM
-2

It was more common a while ago. Now it's the opposite. More men are settling for mediocre looking women. And most of the men you see around probably have more money than their girlfriends/wives.
/r/ExRedPill17/12/23 01:07 PM
3

What nonsense. Looks are the first filter for women as well as men.
/r/ExRedPill17/12/23 01:04 PM
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