NawfSideNative Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
56	Why is misandry being normalised on social media under the disguise of "it's just a reaction to misogyny"? If you’ve ever been a part of the more public subs and seen gender discourse on those, you’ll notice that a lot of the so-called “progressive” stances are really just Andrew Tate type bullshit spray-painted pink.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	26/06/26 02:25 PM
33	What do you wish women would understand about dating women? A lot of women (not all, but enough for it to be a common experience) tell the men they’re dating that they want them to be open and emotionally vulnerable, but they don’t actually. They only want to see the emotions they know how to handle. Or they simply want the idealized, fantasy version of an “emotionally vulnerable man” that they have curated in their heads You may have seen your man cry or be scared, but I’d be willing to bet even in those instances, you have seen a very subdued version o…	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/01/26 02:23 PM
20	What do you wish women would understand about dating women? This is exactly the gripe I had with one of my previous relationships. She would tell me constantly that she wanted me to be open and honest about my feelings while knowing everything I said was going to be judged by a panel of her friends who are almost always going to take her side.	/r/PurplePillDebate	30/01/26 02:14 PM
20	A lot of women genuinely don't recognize when they're being abusive toward men And thats the thing, it oftentimes does hurt. Badly. People just assume it doesn’t because a man, on average, could do way more damage. But there’s a widespread belief that a woman is literally incapable of inflicting serious harm on a man if she wants to and abusive, violent women don’t pose an actual physical danger. They literally do.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/11/25 04:06 AM
12	Toxic masculinity and patriarchy being only enforced by men is a myth. It is ingrained in our psyche, we need to collectively oppose it. Yeah it’s the just world fallacy and it’s rampant in most public subs on this app like r/self We have a lot of cultural narratives that women are the more emotionally evolved gender and their attraction to men is sophisticated and profound compared to men’s attraction to women. Therefore, when a man has no success in dating, the assumption is he’s a scathing misogynist. Otherwise, it pokes holes in the idea that they are not prone to shallowness or whatever else when it comes to selecting a part…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	08/11/25 12:07 PM
18	Toxic masculinity and patriarchy being only enforced by men is a myth. It is ingrained in our psyche, we need to collectively oppose it. And another fallacy: circular reasoning Good men have partners because women like good men, and these men are good men because women like them	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	08/11/25 12:05 PM
5	Women have different rules for guys they're actually attracted to. my mom told me that attraction doesn’t matter as long as I’m not repulsed by him. I’m glad you’re actually confirming this because often when men say that yes, many of us were told in our youth that looks didn’t matter and that it was about what’s on the inside or whatever, we are told that it never happened. That we just made that up or simply “misunderstood” what was actually being said. Hell, dating was never really an issue for me and even I wasn’t spared that feel-good social messaging.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/08/25 04:26 PM
6	Why are you in this sub ? And what make you stay there ? This is a similar reason I joined. Perspective. I was chronically single at the time that I joined, and felt like on Reddit, and even in real life, I was being fed a steady diet of the “Just take a shower and be normal bro” feel-good social messaging. I don’t remember how I came across this sub exactly, but I remember it being quite validating because in nearly every other community, if you even suggest that things are much more complicated than “just don’t be a weirdo”, people immediately shut …	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/08/25 09:31 PM
7	The Red Pill have got the 80/20 Rule Wrong It wasn’t on this sub but I remember seeing another thread that said nobody actually care’s about a man’s height and short guys aren’t at a disadvantage. They went on to use Kevin Hart as an example. Celebrities are playing a different game with a different set of rules. Emulating what they do isn’t exactly going to get the results they have.	/r/PurplePillDebate	01/08/25 12:22 PM
1	Does the Titanic Movie actually promote male disposability? In fairness to Rose, the “We are women, our choices are never easy,” line was said to her by her mother and it was said within the context of Rose being forced into a marriage with a man she did not love and who was later revealed to be outwardly abusive. At that point in time in which the scene takes place, nobody knew the horror that awaited Titanic, and this was 1912. The idea that life was really hard for women was generally an astute perception. Of course, we as the audience know what would…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	21/06/25 08:49 PM
4	Does the Titanic Movie actually promote male disposability? Also, Jack dying needed to happen in my opinion. A movie where Jack and Rose ride off into the sunset would absolutely not have brought audiences as close to the tragedy as his death did, and a happy ending would’ve arguably been disrespectful to the actual victims. The story is from Rose’s perspective and even though she survived, the film illustrates how absolutely nobody, not even the people on the lifeboats, left Titanic without losing a huge part of themselves. I realize this is only tangen…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	21/06/25 08:44 PM
32	Do men and women express emotions differently? If so, why is the female way of expressing emotions seen as the default? This is essentially what bell hooks wrote in her book The Will to Change She admitted that her partner at the time made it clear for her to see. That she would ask him to express him emotions then chastise him when he did. She admitted he was right and it was hard for her to accept that she actually did NOT want to hear about his feelings if they were negative or painful because she, unknowingly, did not want her image of the strong, stoic man to really be challenged. I have definitely lived thi…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/06/25 11:12 AM
3	Society did not “lie” to you about what was and wasn’t attractive to women. You are not a “victim”. Several men were raised on the maxim that their looks didn’t matter and that what women valued more than anything was kindness, honesty, empathy, etc. OP is saying that never happened and nobody ever told men that. Thats what the comments are a refutation of	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/06/25 11:04 PM
2	Society did not “lie” to you about what was and wasn’t attractive to women. You are not a “victim”. It’s still relevant. Can a woman find you attractive even if you aren’t conventionally attractive? Sure. But that’s not really what’s being discussed. It’s about how whenever the topic of how much looks matter for men in the dating game gets brought up, the goalposts get moved or the entire narrative gets changed depending on whatever makes men look like the stupid ones. On posts like this one, OP is implying men are idiots for ever believing looks don’t matter, or that women wanna date ugly guy…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/06/25 11:02 PM
16	Society did not “lie” to you about what was and wasn’t attractive to women. You are not a “victim”. Bingo. I was told verbatim by my mother “All a guy has to do is be there for a girl and he will have her hook, line, and sinker.” Of course I believed her. I was 15-years-old with no life experience. Seems like OP is implying men are stupid when they didn’t see through the bull shit fed to them when they were literally adolescents. Yes, it’s your responsibility to grow up and see what the truth is. That does not mean no gaslighting happened.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/06/25 06:08 PM
11	Society did not “lie” to you about what was and wasn’t attractive to women. You are not a “victim”. Same. I’ve honestly never really had an issue getting dates in my life. I’m no Brad Pitt but I think I’m decently handsome so I’ve always been able to sustain a somewhat regular stream of dates when I was still on the market. Even I was not spared the feel-good “It’s what’s on the inside that matters,” social messaging. I distinctly remember being told verbatim by my mother that “All a guy has to do is be there for a girl and he will have her. Hook, line, and sinker.” Of course I believed her, w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/06/25 03:00 PM
69	Society did not “lie” to you about what was and wasn’t attractive to women. You are not a “victim”. You made this same post a month ago Regardless, just because it’s obvious, does not mean there was no gaslighting going on. Men will often vocalize the very “obvious” observations you describe and get shouted down by being told that they’re being sexist, close-minded, and don’t listen to women. Go on any of the more public subs like r/self and make the affirmative claim that personality only matters for a guy once he has crossed the looks threshold, and there’s a good chance you’ll be inundated …	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/06/25 02:31 PM
33	What Makes a Man Creepy? Your first point is insanely true but so many people will resist to the death making the admission lmao The Halo Effect is a real thing and your behavior can be perceived much differently based on how you look. It’s often used to illustrate misogynistic talking points, but there’s a nugget of truth to that “HELLO HUMAN RESOURCES?!!????” meme I just often see discussions about dating that will say something along the lines of “It’s not your looks, it’s your poor social skills.” Well, it’s both. P…	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/02/25 11:15 PM
3	Being likable does not mean being sexually attractive. I agree that at a certain age if you still believe that as a man, you’re willingly ignorant, but I think it’s important to note at what stage in life most men are told this. Men are often told this in very formative years by their mothers, sisters, etc. So of course as they grow up and start trying to date for the first time, they believe them. Why wouldn’t they? It’s not until they get older, realize that being the “genuinely kind man” is not doing the trick in the dating world, and eventually …	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/02/25 12:19 PM
4	Being likable does not mean being sexually attractive. You should be more concerned about your own understanding. Thus opinion that kindness is useless to young men is very strange. That is absolutely not what I am saying and is a complete strawman. I am not saying kindness is useless to young men. At all. Did not even imply that. I am saying that kindness is not all that is needed to be attractive to women, or men for that matter. I am in agreement with OP there. Where I disagree with OP is “Nobody has ever told men that kindness is what makes them…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/02/25 04:48 AM
9	Being likable does not mean being sexually attractive. I think there may be a miscommunication here. I was not saying that people never equate kindness to sexiness. I’m actually saying the opposite. The original argument of “People never equate kindness to sexiness” is untrue. People absolutely do that, and I agree with you that they shouldn’t. The discussion (at least on this particular comment chain) is not really if men are upset that kindness isn’t getting them laid, but whether or not they’re being told that kindness will make women attracted t…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/02/25 04:33 AM
9	Being likable does not mean being sexually attractive. Fair, but I would still push back on the statement that people in general literally never equate kindness to sexiness. Just as an example: “Looks don’t matter” is something that gets said pretty often in regards to dating (usually followed by an emphasis on personality), and while thankfully, the general perception of it is rightfully becoming more critical, it’s still circulated enough for people to actually discuss it. The message there being that it’s not a matter of physical attraction, but …	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/02/25 04:14 AM
6	Being likable does not mean being sexually attractive. Yes, I agree, but the argument posed was that no woman in human history has ever told men that being kind is the same as being sexy. I’m only saying that’s not true, women do tell men this, and I cited examples. The two examples I provided are women literally equating “sexy” with “all the nice things men do.” That’s entirely different than women simply stating “I like men who are nice” and men just making the assumption that they’re saying all a man has to do is be nice to be sexy.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/02/25 04:00 AM
22	Being likable does not mean being sexually attractive. I’d be careful going as far as saying “no woman in the history of mankind” has ever said this. this post and the amount of reposts it got is just one of many examples. There’s another one here You could try to make the argument that it’s not common, but to say that women never tell men these things is just not true.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/02/25 03:49 AM
8	Being likable does not mean being sexually attractive. I saw one recently on r/GenZ that has since been deleted (it appears) I’ve seen more than a handful on r/dating and r/dating_advice. Even more comments to the exact same effect.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/02/25 03:45 AM
10	Being likable does not mean being sexually attractive. How else are people supposed to digest messages such as “Looks don’t matter” or “Dating has nothing to do with your looks.” Because those statements don’t really leave any room for interpretation at all. They’re about as direct as you can get. Now you could say that looks aren’t everything and while more honest, it conveys a completely different message than “Looks don’t matter,” and this is exactly what many men like myself grew up hearing. There are plenty of posts on this website alone that d…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/02/25 03:29 AM
22	Being likable does not mean being sexually attractive. While I do agree with your overall point, I will push back a little on the part where you say “Wanting a man who is attractive will always be implied.” If you’re like me, you grew up being directly told that looks did not matter and that “All a guy has to do is be there for her, and he’ll have her. Hook, line, and sinker.” (I was told this verbatim by a woman in my adolescence). I’ll often see posts float across subs that discuss dating that’ll echo the same sentiment. “Guys it has nothing to do…	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/02/25 01:41 AM
3	UNPOPULAR OPINION: MEN REACH THEIR PEAK BETWEEN LATE TEENS TO EARLY 20S, JUST LIKE WOMEN Agreed. I’m 26 now. I’m much more confident in my appearance now than I was when I was 18-19. I had a skinny frame with fat in all the wrong places and had skin problems. I was getting absolutely zero attention from any girls on campus at my college. Late teens is maybe the peak for guys who were the star QB of their high school and thought they could coast on that forever. Then their lack of intellect kicked in when they had to find a real job, genetics caused them to lose their hair, started g…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/01/25 05:29 PM
4	CMV: Confident, smart women intimidate males Pretty much yeah. The fact that there are plenty of celebrities, both male and female, who are verifiable pieces of shit yet will never struggle to find love or sex is proof of this concept. If you’re hot, rich, or high enough status you simply get the play the game by a different set of rules. Simple as. Chris Brown is a known abuser, but he will never struggle to find love or sex if he wanted it. I can’t think of any outwardly abusive female celebrities off the top of my head but you could nam…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/01/25 02:52 AM
14	The true RP position is that male friendships, not romantic relationships, are the answer to the male loneliness epidemic Yep. No matter what mental gymnastics we do, there’s really no type of love that will scratch the same itch as romantic love. There’s no sufficient substitute for it. You either find it or you learn to live without it. I’ve always had very genuine close male friends in my life. I’m fortunate to have them. But when I was chronically single, the idea that all my bros genuinely cared for me was a very cold comfort when I was going home to my empty apartment while they were going home to women who a…	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/01/25 02:47 AM
19	Women On Reddit Chase Validation and Attention By Stating an Exception to an Obvious Truth This reminds me of a post I saw elsewhere on Reddit where the title was like “Men only make friends with pretty women. Prove me wrong.” Like what the hell do you want us to tell you here?? “Nuh uh!! All my female friends are UGLY” It’s like the declarative version of a loaded question where there’s no way to respond to it without admitting guilt or looking like the bad guy.	/r/PurplePillDebate	25/01/25 02:42 AM
6	"The bar is in hell" and other such sayings... Basically people are going to act right for their best perceived option, and that’s usually someone they don’t think is easily replaced. My current girlfriend is beautiful, funny, genuine and literally a surgeon. You bet your ass I wasn’t playing any games when we were still in the “just getting to know each other” phase.	/r/PurplePillDebate	24/01/25 08:41 PM
6	Friendzone complaints mainly come from guys who dont value friendships. Yes but why is a relationship ending painful? Because it’s hard being around your ex when you still have romantic feelings for them, while they don’t. Just like being around someone you have developed feelings for is painful when their feelings did not progress the way yours did. It’s a lesser magnitude, but a similar concept. In both situations, it’s hard to move on from those feelings when you’re still spending significant time together.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/01/25 04:04 PM
10	Friendzone complaints mainly come from guys who dont value friendships. Being an adult requires respecting the autonomy of others, and that includes respecting a lack of romantic and sexual interest and getting over it. This is precisely what people are doing by distancing themselves. They’re moving on and respecting one’s wishes to not be with them romantically. Not everyone can do that while spending significant time with the one they want. The “autonomy and boundaries” argument can also be made to someone who thinks their friend who has feelings is obligated to b…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/01/25 04:02 PM
6	Friendzone complaints mainly come from guys who dont value friendships. An unreciprocated crush that had almost no foundation then sure, I agree. If you ask out the girl from class you talked to once then yeah you shouldn’t be attached. I don’t think that’s really what’s being described though. People are mainly talking about situations where two people are spending significant amounts of time together, one develops feelings, and continues to develop them further as you spend more time and continue getting to know somebody. It’s rare to just “switch off” feelings, w…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/01/25 03:57 PM
6	Friendzone complaints mainly come from guys who dont value friendships. Because you can want your friend to be happy and still be sad that they don’t reciprocate your feelings. I don’t want to sound hostile but your responses in this thread and others like it seem pretty obtuse and disingenuous. Human feelings are complicated and not nearly as black-and-white as you’re making them out to be. If you don’t experience that pain as acutely as others, that’s great, but not everyone is like that. If someone is unable to move on while still being around their friend their …	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/01/25 03:49 PM
7	Friendzone complaints mainly come from guys who dont value friendships. Exactly. People can’t help how they feel, but there seems to be so much angst in this thread that many people are incapable of moving on while still spending significant time around the person they want. If you can, great. If not then your options are either to stay and be miserable and distance yourself and move on. I value all my friendships, but I don’t value any of them over my own mental health.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/01/25 03:45 PM
24	Friendzone complaints mainly come from guys who dont value friendships. It’s refreshing to see a woman acknowledge this. It’s almost always about the realization that being around the object of your unrequited affection only brings pain. I always see this get reduced to “He’s mad he can’t sleep with her.” It’s like people making a conscious effort to give it the least charitable framing possible. Guys who lament about the friend zone typically want all the aspects of a relationship outside the bedroom just as much. Unless you just see relationships as “best friends …	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/01/25 01:57 PM
40	What do you mean you can’t be vulnerable?? This may be one of the best comments I’ve read. Not just on this thread, but on this entire sub I said in a separate comment that what many women don’t realize is that when they say they want men to be emotionally vulnerable, they’re unaware that they’re referring to the idealized version of “vulnerable” they have in their heads. Many women are unaware of this, whereas men are keenly aware because they’ve learned the hard way. Being emotionally vulnerable is not always a man crying because he lo…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/01/25 01:23 AM
19	What do you mean you can’t be vulnerable?? Because when many women say they want their men to be emotionally vulnerable, many of them mean the idealized fantasy version of “vulnerable” they’ve curated in their heads. It’s not usually intentional. You’ll hear a lot of “If you open up to a woman she will use it against you later.” I’m thankful I’ve never experienced that specifically, but I’ve definitely dated women in the past who would walk one way then talk another when it came to wanting me to show my emotions. She wanted me to be open…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/01/25 12:57 AM
10	Why is it that if a man fell in love with his female friend, then it is believed that he just “wanted to get into her pants”? TLDR: Most people do not share the same level of intimacy or affection with platonic friends as they do with their partners. This is especially true for men. Well for men, even with their closest friends, it’s rare for them to have as deep a connection with each other as they do with their romantic partners. I can definitely vouch for that. My best buddy has been in my life for 15 years and I have never experienced the same closeness, warmth or (even platonic) intimacy with him or my closest fem…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/01/25 06:13 PM
12	Why is it that if a man fell in love with his female friend, then it is believed that he just “wanted to get into her pants”? Well put. I have seen so many people say some version of “He cut off friendship because he’s upset he cannot sleep with me.” It’s like the least charitable framing you could come up with. It has way more to do with the realization that being around the object of your unrequited affection only brings pain. That can feel like torment, especially when she inevitably starts seeing someone else. This discourse can often be frustrating to read because people tend to acknowledge that neither side of th…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/01/25 06:05 PM
15	Why is it that if a man fell in love with his female friend, then it is believed that he just “wanted to get into her pants”? That’s not so much about not getting sex as it is about the realization that being around the object of your unrequited affection rarely brings anything but pain. Especially when she starts dating someone else. Men who fall for their female friends typically want all the aspects of a relationship outside the bedroom as much as they want the sex. Unless you (not “you” specifically) only view relationships as “best friends that have sex,” being in a relationship is wayyyyy more intimate and emotio…	/r/PurplePillDebate	12/01/25 05:56 PM
–	The problem with standards Pretty much. Your standards can be as outlandish as you want. That doesn’t mean the universe is obligated to give you a partner that meets them. If you are routinely not getting picked by people who meet your standards then perhaps they need to be reassessed	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/01/25 05:31 PM
55	Q4M: Ever cry because a friend confessed her love to you? Cried? No. But I have been on the receiving end of a couple confessions like that before and it’s not a fun conversation to have. I never felt the girl in question was faking her friendship though. I never understood why that is always the default assumption when a man has feelings for his female friend. Why do we always have to assume the worst in people? “He just wanted be friends so he could eventually date me and sleep with me,” is like the least charitable framing you could come up with. A …	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/01/25 10:20 PM
22	It’s unhealthy for someone to never having someone else be romantically interested in them. I think this is why people tend to lean into the Just World Fallacy. We see how unfair and emotionally devastating that living a life doomed to unsatisfied yearning for romance can be, but there’s nothing we can really do about it. So our options are either to watch it happen or pretend that reality is different and that people who fail just aren’t doing something right.	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/12/24 09:11 PM
5	A lot of your problems in dating are simply your fault Yep. Easier to believe everyone is in complete control of their own destiny than it is to believe you are largely at the mercy of your circumstances. Just World Fallacy is also a convenient way to protect your ego so you can continue believing that good things happen to you because you deserve it.	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/12/24 02:46 PM
–	Women who engaged in hookup culture, how do you expect a man to ever take you serious? Yeah I honestly assume somebody who is moderately attractive at least engaged in some form of “casual fun” in their youth, especially if they went to college, and I don’t think less of them for it. My early 20’s was the first time I could enjoy engaging with women I was attracted to without having to worry about my parents walking in. I damn sure took advantage of it. I wouldn’t fault a woman for doing the same thing.	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/24 02:36 AM
–	Women who engaged in hookup culture, how do you expect a man to ever take you serious? Yep. Speaking from a guy’s perspective, it generally seems to be the same for men. Pretty much every guy I know who spent their 20’s, and maybe even the early parts of their 30’s, having casual no-strings-attached fun eventually met wonderful women, promptly exited the dating pool, and settle down. Nobody saw them as washed up or anything for it. They got to have their fun, and settle down when it no longer suited them. I don’t want to dunk on people who struggle to find love or sex, but I reall…	/r/PurplePillDebate	16/12/24 02:32 AM
5	Why do men have this perception that going after financial stability = women finding a man ugly? Yeah I think both this comment and the top comment on this thread really nail it down. There’s a stark difference in how you’re treated when your partner genuinely loves and adores you as a person and them being with you because you happen to have some characteristic that ticks one of their boxes. I’m sure any woman who’s only ever been treated as some late night booty call by a guy they really liked can relate to this feeling.	/r/PurplePillDebate	08/12/24 03:37 AM
10	"Bar for men is on the floor" - Is this a real statement or just a tongue in cheek phrase meant to aggravate men? So in essence, the bar is low for men who have already been picked. It’s still fairly high and difficult to reach for men who haven’t. This can be why it’s frustrating for single men to hear. They get told that the bar is low for men yet they’re putting a lot of effort into being a good prospect and still aren’t seeing results. My dating life has greatly improved since my early 20’s but heading “The bar for men is so low” always hit a sore spot for me at the time because the follow up was usuall…	/r/PurplePillDebate	07/12/24 06:30 PM
35	Men should generally never take dating advice from women. I grew up with all girls and learned pretty early on in my teenage years that they were really playing a different game with a completely different set of rules. Like you said, when I received advice it was pretty much always predicated in the assumption that I was already getting dates. I told either my mom or sister one time when they started giving me advice that they were already assuming I was way more successful than I actually was when they prefaced their wisdom with “Okay so when you’re …	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/12/24 04:23 AM
69	What screams wife material to you? Emotionally stable, puts effort into relationship maintenance, and gives me a space to be vulnerable without feeling like it’s a chore. One of my biggest green flags is when a woman can acknowledge that she was wrong, apologize, and move on from something. I have absolutely never thought that “I’m a woman. I’m always right and don’t apologize,” shit was cute.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/12/24 03:15 AM
1	CMV: Starting out as platonic friends is a good strategy for a romantic relationship I get it, I was just responding to your original statement that nobody was saying you had to be close friends with women to date them. OP is basically saying exactly that. I think most people concur with your position in that it’s best to date people you know but not in the “You’re like a brother to me” way.	/r/PurplePillDebate	04/12/24 03:12 AM
1	CMV: Starting out as platonic friends is a good strategy for a romantic relationship It can work in the same way that buying lottery tickets can help you purchase a home.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/12/24 09:11 PM
7	CMV: Starting out as platonic friends is a good strategy for a romantic relationship “You’re like a brother to me” generally implies a close friendship if it’s so strong that she’s equating it to a familial relationship/bond. I also don’t really know how someone can demonstrate they’re safe and trustworthy without being close.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/12/24 07:00 PM
4	CMV: Starting out as platonic friends is a good strategy for a romantic relationship Yeah I was under the impression that the consensus was always that it’s creepy and hurtful to be friends with a woman with the hope of dating her down the road and this post explicitly says men should do exactly that. I can understand being casual acquaintances or something but platonic friends usually implies you’re spending fairly significant amounts of time together with zero romantic energy. I’ve heard so many stories from women who absolutely dread the day their male friend tries to escalat…	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/12/24 06:46 PM
2	CMV: Starting out as platonic friends is a good strategy for a romantic relationship Right. I thought the consensus has always been that women hate when their platonic male friends try to make a move. There are tons of memes, jokes, and debates that have been shared around this very topic. It “ruins the friendship.” It makes him look like he was faking his feelings. It makes them feel objectified. The reasons vary but the consensus was the same. If you are her platonic friend, telling her you want to date her is a huge annoyance if not complete devastation.	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/12/24 06:43 PM
10	CMV: Starting out as platonic friends is a good strategy for a romantic relationship I feel like what people almost always mean as “We started off as friends” was they met in a low stakes social setting where there had already been some established interest from the beginning. It’s extremely rare for a relationship with a woman to go from platonic to romantic and usually she was already on the fence about dating you if it does. I think having women as friends can be great for dating in that they can introduce you to their friends. But I think it’s a fool’s errand for any guy to …	/r/PurplePillDebate	03/12/24 06:35 PM
9	If your husband/partner suddenly became disabled and required care, would you keep the relationship the way it is or make compromises/leave? This post reminds me of a Reddit post I saw a few years back where a woman’s husband suffered severe burns on his face to the point he was unrecognizable. He wanted to start getting intimate again and she wasn’t sure how to go about it. It’s really just one of those life events that will show you what your marriage is worth. You made a commitment to each other for life and as such agreed to endure whatever problems arise together so long as you are both alive and faithful.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/11/24 04:05 AM
1	What do you think about the idea that women may put men into two groups- those who are “hookup/ONS” material and those who are “relationship/husband” material? Not insinuating it’s just looks. I’m just saying that there are some guys out there that women will sleep with without having to jump through a bunch of hoops because she just excited him that much for any number of reasons There are so many guys who have never experienced that before despite years of trying and they don’t like feeling as if they get intimacy because they “earned” it. They want intimacy because the woman they’re doing it with was attracted enough to do it for its own sake.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/11/24 02:07 AM
15	Would you be opposed to a public "Cheaters List"? This was my take as well. Cheating is bad. People who cheat are bad people. But at the end of the day my hurt feelings are not a crime and it is not the public’s responsibility to make sure I do not get my feelings hurt again This really just seems like overkill and the existence of a “Cheater Registry” would vastly overestimate the integrity of the public to not abuse it beyond repair.	/r/PurplePillDebate	29/11/24 12:45 AM
11	Would you be opposed to a public "Cheaters List"? No. Because “cheating” is a subjective term that will have a different definition depending on who you ask. Some people think watching porn is cheating. A guy who got caught on the hub shouldn’t be lumped in with a guy who has had multiple affairs. Also I’m willing to accept the fact that I may just be an asshole but I really think having a smear campaign for cheaters is just overkill. Cheaters suck. How they treat people sucks. But there’s no mandate for someone to be a faithful partner unless …	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/11/24 11:14 PM
4	Why does therapy fail men on a large scale and what alternatives are there? I don’t think it was a complete waste of time. It was validating talking to someone about my loneliness with hearing the trite platitudes like “It’ll happen when you least expect it” But at a certain point I felt like it just was no longer worth the investment. I was continually having bouts of depression that stemmed from my chronic singlehood and all a therapist could really do was tell me “Yeah it sucks. Keep working out and engaging in your hobbies and hopefully it’ll happen eventually.”	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/11/24 07:33 PM
13	Why does therapy fail men on a large scale and what alternatives are there? Regardless, paying someone to listen me to talk about tangible problems that have no tangible solutions is not an attractive prospect to me. This is it for me. I actually did try out therapy. I’m the “chronically single” friend of my social circle and while I have a very healthy lifestyle outside of dating, I naturally have moments of insecurity and loneliness due to my evergreen singlehood. I just don’t see the benefit of me paying a licensed therapist to tell me it’s natural to sometimes feel …	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/11/24 05:36 PM
5	What do you think about the idea that women may put men into two groups- those who are “hookup/ONS” material and those who are “relationship/husband” material? Not so much to do with the sex itself as it is the validation of a woman being so attracted to you that she’s willing to forgo all the responsible requirements and sleep with you. So many men have never experienced someone being attracted to them like that and can be only hope to earn it through other means. Even if they want something serious, they still want to be the guy who excites you enough to at least want to jump into bed from the start.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/11/24 03:08 PM
2	What do you think about the idea that women may put men into two groups- those who are “hookup/ONS” material and those who are “relationship/husband” material? This is pretty much it. Nobody likes to feel like they have to negotiate someone else’s attraction to them. If you’re a guy in his 30’s who’s with a woman that would not have even looked your direction in her 20’s, you really do start to wonder if she feels like she’s settled and if she would have rather had that relationship with one of those guys she was chasing in her 20’s that just wouldn’t commit.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/11/24 03:03 PM
13	What do you think about the idea that women may put men into two groups- those who are “hookup/ONS” material and those who are “relationship/husband” material? This is why there was so much controversy around that Reddit post from a few months back “You aren’t a guy I would hook up with but would marry” directed at a woman’s fiance. The way it’s presented can often sound like “I wouldn’t have been attracted to you enough to have sex for its own sake so this only works if there’s some level of commitment and security involved” It’s like a few years back a guy made a post about his bride on Facebook to the effect of “she was never the most beautiful but …	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/11/24 12:56 PM
38	Why do women reject a guy but act jealous and try to cockblock him when he tries to date other women? This is it. She doesn’t like you but she absolutely loves the validation she gets from you liking her. Who doesn’t like to feel wanted? Knowing somebody lines you is a great feeling whether you reciprocate those feelings or not. I fell for that game a lot when I was late teens/early 20’s. Girls wanted me to warm the boyfriend seat while they waited for a guy they deemed worthy of her exclusivity.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/11/24 12:51 PM
9	What are your thoughts on why men aren’t attending singles events? I believe it’s the latter. It reminds me of when women say most men dont want genuine relationships anymore. Tons and tons of men are looking for that. They just aren’t the ones you want.	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/11/24 12:36 PM
5	What are your thoughts on why men aren’t attending singles events? I don’t think it’s entirely inaccurate but the terminology unfortunately leaves room for people to be offended which of course makes them believe they’re right	/r/PurplePillDebate	28/11/24 11:34 AM
50	What are your thoughts on why men aren’t attending singles events? I grew up with all women and as such naturally became comfortable with having women as platonic friends in adulthood. I do value their insight on many things but I can absolutely confirm most of them have almost no clue just how uninvolved they can afford to be in the entire process. They’ll often recount the nights they met their significant others as a series of things that all “just happened,” when in reality it was likely a series of very calculated moves and minor escalations by their partn…	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/11/24 11:13 PM
19	What are your thoughts on why men aren’t attending singles events? All the “likes” so to speak tend to drift to the same few guys in a similar manner to OLD, but the difference is at these events guys who aren’t immediately captivating based off their looks have more of a chance to showcase their other good qualities. It’s better. Perhaps only marginally, but I’d still say better	/r/PurplePillDebate	27/11/24 11:08 PM
2	“Women give men bad dating advice” is a lie. The manosphere will discredit anything women say if it doesn’t fit their narrative. I’m surprised I had to scroll so far to find this. I also agree that a lot of the manosphere stuff BS but guys don’t just disregard women’s dating advice for no reason. Most of them do it because they have literally tried it out and seen that it gets no results When I was an adolescent, I distinctly remember my mom telling me that “All a guy has to do for a girl is be there for her and he’ll have her. Hook, line and sinker.” Being the naive teenager I was, I believed her. Why wouldn’t I? She was…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/11/24 07:26 PM
11	A bunch of questions for women Also a lot of things that men look for are basically tied to romantic relationships with women. Social support systems, consistent sex, etc. Men hope to fulfill these needs via relationships with women whereas women generally have access to those things outside the context of a committed relationship.	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/11/24 04:06 PM
11	Do Red Pill men get desensitized to female beauty? I saw a tweet that encapsulates this concept pretty well “You can scroll through Instagram and see more baddies in 10 minutes than your grandfather has ever seen in his lifetime”	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/11/24 07:12 PM
3	CMV: it is ok to virgin shame males The issue here is when you use it as an insult, you’re saying through implication that it’s bad, laughable, and something one should be ashamed of. It’s like using “gay” as an insult. Replace the word “virgin” with “gay” and your argument comes off as extremely homophobic.	/r/PurplePillDebate	13/11/24 09:15 PM
8	What dating standards are fair for women to hold? Yep. You can have standards but if you’re routinely not getting picked by the people who embody those standards, then perhaps they need to be reassessed.	/r/PurplePillDebate	06/11/24 04:33 PM
3	Do most men on dating apps just try to match with virtually every woman? Yeah I agree. Bots are usually pretty easy to spot based on the criteria you describe but some are definitely becoming more sophisticated. The only time I’ll ever match with one is if I was looking to quickly and it happened to slip through the cracks. It’s easy to realize it’s a scammer when the first thing they message you is their Snapchat and say to add them. Most of them are insanely easy. It’s a bunch of grainy pictures of an insanely attractive woman that were definitely just screenshotte…	/r/PurplePillDebate	26/10/24 03:43 PM
4	A vast majority of behaviours that give women the ick are things men would’t be doing if they did the basic work on themselves I’ve always pretty much thought that’s what an “ick” was. I always see posts that are like “I got the ick because he was overly angry at the waiter for bringing the wrong drink.” Like that’s not an ick that’s just a straight up red flag. My understanding of “the ick” was basically what you described. Something that’s not inherently harmful but for some reason causes you to lose a bit of attraction. Yes, I understand I’m really just debating semantics here lol	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/10/24 01:55 PM
4	The best thing any man can do is to stop chasing women. I don’t entirely disagree with your original point but I think your 2nd paragraph here is a pretty blatant false equivalence. Comparing something bad to something substantially worse is intentionally reductive, invalidating, and almost always used as a way to pivot from acknowledging the genuine hardships and struggles that can come from the former. My hometown literally just got ravaged by a hurricane. Based on this logic, instead of being upset about, I should be thanking my lucky stars that I…	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/10/24 08:52 PM
6	The best thing any man can do is to stop chasing women. Don’t think I agree with this. I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 20, and had a very active sex life after the matter. I had a bunch of female friends who would introduce me to their single friends. So on and so forth. Maybe I’m an anecdote but still. I will agree that after college, you are probably never going to experience a density of single people your age again, but it’s not that hopeless.	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/10/24 08:39 PM
11	People who move on immediately after a breakup aren’t “filling a void due to your absence” they simply just don’t care, especially about you. Even outside of marriages, it’s pretty common. I’ve definitely been in a relationship that just ran long past its expiration date. By the time we officially ended it, I didn’t necessarily need this journey of introspection and mourning to move on. I was ready to get back out there lmao	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/10/24 09:00 PM
5	People who move on immediately after a breakup aren’t “filling a void due to your absence” they simply just don’t care, especially about you. I’ve had this experience before as a man and it’s honestly quite staggering. I’m not in any way condoning cheating but having that experience made it easier to see one reason why it can happen. A lot of the women a man cheats with may not have even been available to him when he was single. Combine that circumstance with a selfish, immature man with zero impulse control and it’s a recipe for disaster.	/r/PurplePillDebate	02/10/24 08:58 PM
47	Truth being friends with lots of girls may also be a negative. Especially if none of them are attracted to you. Fully agreed. It’s kind of short-sighted to assume that having female friends who don’t want to date you does nothing for your dating life. They can help you get your foot in the door with so many potentials dates. A few months ago, I went out with one of my female friends to a bar. While we were there, we ran into her (very cute) gym friend. Our mutual friend introduced us, we exchanged numbers, and started going on dates together as early as the next week. If I hadn’t been with my mutual frien…	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/09/24 05:12 PM
31	The Myth Of Confidence I think you can add on to the online dating point that you can be rejected much more frequently in a single day, by saying it’s also increased the volume of competition for most men, so even in isolated instances, you’re more likely to get rejected. Once upon a time, you only really had to be a woman’s best available option out of the few guys in the office or the coffee shop or the library or wherever. Now, there are additionally 4 guys swiping up on her snap story, 5 in her Instagram DM’s, and…	/r/PurplePillDebate	10/09/24 10:12 PM
25	The "nice guy" trope is a defense mechanism which women deploy to divert attention from the fact that they are rejecting a guy based on a lack of physical attraction This was me when I was younger. My mother told me verbatim “All a guy has to do for a girl is be there for her and he will have her. Hook, line, and sinker.” Being the naive teenager that I was, I believed her. I was so confused and hurt why I was having so many crushes that just didn’t work out. I was the guy who was there for them. I was nice. I was the guy she joked with. The one she was vulnerable with. The shoulder to cry on. Why didn’t they want me, the 5’5, brace-faced, kid who had acne, …	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/08/24 10:02 PM
5	CMV: more matches don't mean anything if they're all poor options On another sub there was a woman who told me, in earnest, that OLD is much harder for women because they have the added chore of sifting through a bunch of matches and it’s exhausting. Like imagine telling a starving person that your life is actually harder because you have more food in your pantry than you know what to do with.	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/08/24 06:15 PM
15	CMV: more matches don't mean anything if they're all poor options This would only make sense if you just assume men on average are horrible compared to women This is honestly why I hate the commonly used analogy “Looking for clean water in a swamp vs. looking for clean water in a desert.” It kind of has the built-in suggestion that men are mostly bad and disgusting and women are mostly clean and pure. Of course shitty dudes exist on those apps, and there are many, but I’d wager a lot of guys on those apps are just regular men looking for love (in whatever form…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/08/24 02:13 PM
8	CMV: more matches don't mean anything if they're all poor options Yeah I don’t think it’s lost on most men that there are generally a lot of “bad” options on those apps. These subs tend to focus so much on getting matches yet that’s still only one small part of the battle. You have to get a match (which is already insanely hard), you have to hope she replies, and you have to hope she’s taking the app seriously enough to at least be willing to have a substantive conversation with you. There are literally so many barriers you have to cross just to even land a fi…	/r/PurplePillDebate	18/08/24 02:08 PM
4	Parents hardly ever gave dating advice. If youre mad at your parents for not teaching you how to date, you’re flat out wrong. This reminds me of every time there’s a viral social media video of some sort of life pro tip, there are hundreds of comments/replies asking why they didn’t learn that in school. Look, I get it. Public schooling could do a better job at teaching practical life skills. But you’re an adult now. The whole “Nobody taught me this growing up” schtick is starting to run out of mileage. Especially when we live in a day and age where literally any information you could want is at your fingertips.	/r/PurplePillDebate	20/07/24 02:20 AM
6	Women simultaneously dislike men approaching because they feel treated as "romantic prospects" instead of "regular people" yet dread the moment a male friend would suggests something more Yeah I’ll agree to this. I am completely new to this sub and genuinely have no idea why this was force fed to me on my page but I was intrigued by the topic and scrolled through the comments. Women will often say they started out as friends with their partner but rarely mean “friend” in the same way men are thinking when they refer strictly to the platonic, aromantic, buddy-buddy dynamic between them and their guy friends. Zero sexual tension, flirting, or chemistry. What they tend to mean is th…	/r/PurplePillDebate	19/07/24 02:09 AM