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Nearby-Car4777 Archive

View 2 posts and 53 comments by Nearby-Car4777 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Divorce fucking sucks. You will have a period of time you are miserable. Some men can't get over this. This post was meant to be encouraging. But I can say, if your wife is a decent person, and you still love her, get couples counseling, put in a bit of extra effort, treat her like you would a new girlfriend, see if you can still connect. But if your wife is emotionally abusing you, beating you down, attacking your most vulnerable parts, you will be happier when you come out the other side. But …
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/26 03:10 AM
2

Ok man, just be fucking miserable then. I can't force you to do anything.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/26 02:34 PM
4

Step 1. Fuck your ex. Quit giving them control over you. Step 2. Meet people, and realize you aint all that. Connect with other imperfect people. Step 3 Divorce mother fucking sucks. But it happened to all of us, we all lost tons of money, time with our children and everything we thought we were building. But it is over now. You old life if fucking gone. You have to rebuild. But you have the freedom now to do whatever you want, But if you can't let go of you your old life you are going to be mis…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 11:02 PM
1

Fucking hell dude. Of course they don't want to be with your sad sack. Get some therapy, you are the definition of a self fulfilling prophecy. You need to manifest positive energy. I'm a bald dude in his 40's. I don't blow up the apps, but I've met a lot of people.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 12:51 PM
1

You literally are alive right now, you have a shot now. Fuck your ex.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 12:22 PM
2

I just sold my house for 100k less than it was worth. Fuck money, you only have one life.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 12:22 PM
1

Quit giving your ex so much power over you. Why do you fucking care about her anymore. You need to remember it is about you now. I know this is hard, but focus on yourself, not the past.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 11:49 AM
4

Your ex has no control over you. It doesn't matter what she thinks. I'm telling you it can be better, but not if you just wallow. I can't force you to do anything, but fuck your ex. You deserve to be happy, get out there, meet people, do fun shit. Quit feeling sorry for yourself. I believe in you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 11:45 AM
2

Exactly. It takes time. But we can all get there. I'm closer with my kids, I have friends now that lift me up. It gets so much better.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/26 11:39 AM
3

Love you my brother. It will get better, but I don't want to discount your feelings right now. We've all stood where you stand. It fucking sucks, but it will get better.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/26 08:18 PM
3

It absolutely fucking sucks. If you haven't yet find a therapist, mine helped me to focus on things outside the debilitating pain, and this really helped me out of the well of darkness that I was in.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 09:46 PM
3

You will be. Keep working on yourself. I never thought I would get here either at one point.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 09:44 PM
10

It was the best way I could describe the mind-fuck of being divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/26 08:18 AM
3

Hey man. You can buy yourself flowers, candles, and make your space yours. I buy myself flowers and scented candles all the time. In fact, I would recommend all divorced guys buy themselves flowers, you deserve it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 02:09 PM
3

If you were impressed by that, a third reply from me!
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 02:10 AM
4

You said nurse he can bang, not him. I don't think you understand how little I care about your take on this. You obviously have the popular opinion, enjoy those upvotes!
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 01:46 AM
2

He literally said the opposite, he was the maid in this relationship. One of the reasons people are in relationships is to lift each other up when needed. Who upvoted this?
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 01:01 AM
1

I don't know your dynamic. But I've read this so much here. We as men just accept a story that we were told. "You were emotionally abusive." creates so much guilt. Chances are it was closer to 50/50. Not that either of you were great, but things were good in the good times, and bad in the bad times, and neither of you were meeting each others needs. My ex used to write down everything "mean" I would say, and then attack me back. Only at the end did I start doing the same and realized I was being…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 05:19 AM
2

I feel bad for you man. Have you ever loved a woman? Do you not understand how it feels to see perfection in an imperfect body? I can promise you will not care about tit size. Big, small, mastectomy. But not fake.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/26 06:22 PM
1

Write down anything that helps you regulate in times of panic. Keep it readily available. When you are in a bad moment, re-read it. Staying grounded is hard, but you got this.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 06:37 PM
27

But, who wants fake tits? Who wants fake anything?
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 02:41 AM
2

I'm a big fan of fighting for family, and this is my normal advice. If your wife is struggling with a mental health, or physical problem that could be fixed with therapy. Try this first. But if it is truly toxic. Leaving is better. I have a 15 year old daughter and a 19 year old son. My relationships with them are different. What I can say is that in the months since my wife and I separated, my daughter and I have actually grown much closer. So I think a non-toxic relationship is important, but …
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 08:19 PM
1

Thanks man. Glad to hear it was helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 06:03 PM
2

It's a struggle. I've been going through this too. I have a great therapist, and I just try and share the things I've learned that helped me. Good luck my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 05:12 PM
8

You're definitely not the only one. It's more common than people admit, especially during this time. One thing that helped me was reducing things that made those thoughts louder, alcohol in particular. Don't expect compassion from your ex. This was a big trigger of mine. In my worst moments of struggle she said some of the most uncaring things, which just amplified the feelings. Focus on making your environment safer. I got rid of anything that could be used in the result of an impulsive decisio…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/26 05:06 PM
3

I may be out of line, and I will admit it if I am. But some people just suck. Men or women. You may have just married a sucky person. Or it may be that the stimulation she needs isn't being met. When you say dead bedroom, do you take care of her? Sex is a two way street. Is she having a good time? Watch some videos on how to please a woman and give that a try. But it could be she is not a sexual person, both of those things exist. She may just be a mean person, but until you actually figure out …
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 07:27 AM
1

Everything will be clear to him eventually. Play the long game. When they need your advice and are facing the same thing they will see how you acted vs. your ex. I know you are in a heightened emotional state (as we all are/were), but you have your chance now to show your kids through actions.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 06:52 AM
4

Guys. I'm the most supportive of our struggles. But love your kids. Your struggles in a relationship are separate from your children. They still love and need their mom. Seeing the downvotes in this thread are really disheartening. Edit: Just want to say. As men, we can't win this battle. Everything is against us. But we can win the war for our children. We can show up everyday even if we don't get immediate credit for it. As you children grow they will see and learn what we do. We aren't fighti…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 09:04 PM
-6

Bro. It's because it is your kids. Moms are special and important. They will figure it out eventually. They need stability now. I'm going to bite my tongue now. But just from your absolute immaturity with this post I suspect your wife probably wasn't 100% the issue.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 05:06 PM
1

Exactly. This isn't a battle you want to be in. Your kids will figure it out on their own when they are ready.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 05:01 PM
6

I'm with you. My spouse filed for divorce and the kids ended up living primarily with her before I fully understood what was happening legally and emotionally. It's only been a few months for me, but staying consistent and showing up as a steady, present parent has mattered more than anything else. Even in that short time, my son spent weeks with me over Christmas break, after initially saying he would stay with his mom exclusively. My daughter has opened up and shared very personal parts of her…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 04:29 AM
7

A lot of us think there’s a perfect reply that will suddenly make them realize the impact of what they did. It will never come. They're already emotionally somewhere else.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 12:41 AM
3

It is the hardest time. I feel what you are going through. We all do.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 11:46 PM
6

I would say almost all of us have felt this. It is completely normal. The emotions don't come in a straight line, or in any consistent way, they come in waves, sometimes hour by hour, sometimes, second by second. It does stabilize, eventually. The fog lifts, you calm down, and the emotion becomes manageable. You won’t always feel like this. All of us have stood exactly where you are, and we made it through. Keep the faith my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 11:38 PM
4

Not to make light of it, but I lost a bunch of weight early on too. I think it’s pretty common for us men. Apparently heartbreak has a very aggressive fitness program. It does get better, though. Hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 11:32 PM
1

Thanks my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 07:05 PM
1

Right now she is in a rental, so she will be ok. Her parents swooped in to pay for everything (she is a 47F with a masters, but doesn't want to work in her field, a completely different story). Every man reading this knows this is a situation that isn't as secure as she thinks. I'm just here being present for my kids, and being ready for when this entire situation inevitably implodes.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 07:00 PM
2

That's the goal. Take what I have an rebuild stronger. Some days are better than others, but one thing I know is everything eventually "comes out in the wash" if you will. It is rough, but I know in a year when I still have the respect of my children, all of the people that have abandoned me are no longer a big part of my life it will be better. But this transition SUUCCKKKS lol.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 07:19 PM
8

That one really stuck with me. I remember thinking about all the everyday things I handled, when the dryer stopped heating, the car needed brakes, or the hundred other small issues that come up in a household. To me, those things were part of what a partnership looked like. She said, very coldly, "I know how to use the phone. I can call someone to do anything you can." And she's not wrong on the surface, but it felt like it missed the deeper point of what we were supposed to be to each other. Ac…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 07:00 PM
1

Keep the faith my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 02:15 AM
2

You are still controlled by your ex. I'm not judging you, I'm the same, but reading your story gives me strength to not fall into this trap when I plan a vacation next year. Keep the faith my brother.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 11:03 PM
3

Enjoy the peace my friend.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 10:59 PM
2

I feel that. My wife had two major surgeries. I literally had to wipe her ass for weeks. I loved her, I wanted to take care of her. As soon as I struggled...she was out.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 04:44 PM
4

I think we need to discuss this more as divorced men. We are always the bad guys, but when our wife leaves us, god damn it feels soooo good. We can still be bad-ass fathers, but don't have to put up with the bullshit. It is why we generally have better relationships with out children after divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 09:46 PM
5

My wife told me the couples counselor was giving her advice because "he knows you had borderline personality disorder" She was toxic. Tried to gaslight me into thinking I had a mental disorder bc the couples counselor was calling out her shit. I can't believe I survived this realtionship. For the record. I see a therapist, and a psychiatrist, I work with professionals. I don't have borderline personality disorder.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 08:37 PM
5

This is my first Christmas alone. I feel so relieved. I feel so relaxed. We decided to separate in October, and got separate apartments about 3 weeks ago. I had lunch with my daughter, my son was staying with me until today, I just feel like I can be myself again. It isn't a flex. Some relationships are just toxic.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 08:33 PM
5

You're not alone, and can get through this.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 04:19 AM
4

It's okay to struggle, that means you cared about the relationship. Better days are ahead! Keep working on yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 12:13 PM
4

I'm 46M and losing it all. You have time man. I'm about a month into it and already feeling better. You need to refocus your mind on your parenting and take care of you first now. Your kids need you to be consistent with them in this weird time. It sucks but you also have a time to grow a much stronger relationship with them w/o your spouse around. Be the person you and your kids will be proud of today. You want to look back a year from now and be proud of the way you acted/reacted. Get some the…
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/25 07:54 PM
1

In a week down nearly 15. I love cooking, but this is hitting harder than I imagined.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 07:27 PM
5

Phone password changed in February. Told it was my fault, she couldn't "trust" me. Divorce in September. I feel this.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 03:27 PM
6

I feel this. I was going through a bad depression starting in 2023. My wife changed from my partner to my manager. I've been going to counseling, taking anti-depressants, anything she wanted me to. Completely fucked up my brain, my sex drive, my personality. She filed for divorce and got an apartment. She quickly got her story out, and made sure our mutual friends took her side. Thankfully, I'm still very close with my kids, b/c they lived with me and know the real me, but it hurts like hell man…
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 09:33 PM
3

That is not acceptable behavor OP. I'm sorry, but you are a victim of DV, from your wife. As someone who has also been close to suicide due to my STBXW behavior, I can tell you it gets better. Take one day at a time.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 05:00 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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