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NewPerformance7662 Archive

View 20 posts and 182 comments by NewPerformance7662 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
214

RantNewPerformance7662/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 01:41 AM
182

RantNewPerformance7662/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 12:47 AM
176

RantNewPerformance7662/r/Divorce_Men15/03/26 11:14 PM
168

Getting StartedNewPerformance7662/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 12:59 AM
83

RantNewPerformance7662/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 06:16 PM
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RantNewPerformance7662/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 12:54 AM
46

Success StoriesNewPerformance7662/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 11:25 PM
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RantNewPerformance7662/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 09:34 PM
33

RantNewPerformance7662/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 11:43 AM
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RantNewPerformance7662/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 01:22 AM
28

RantNewPerformance7662/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 06:41 PM
28

RantNewPerformance7662/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 10:31 PM
28

RantNewPerformance7662/r/Divorce_Men22/04/25 10:26 AM
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RantNewPerformance7662/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 01:15 PM
21

Need SupportNewPerformance7662/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 08:41 PM
19

RantNewPerformance7662/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 09:48 PM
12

RantNewPerformance7662/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 12:52 PM
9

RantNewPerformance7662/r/Divorce_Men06/05/25 08:04 PM
8

Dating After DivorceNewPerformance7662/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 02:07 PM
8

RantNewPerformance7662/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 06:15 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Wait they made it about themselves?!? Nooooo lol sorry you had to deal with that brother
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 09:50 PM
6

Dude, I absolutely fucking love this. All of our stories in this group may not be exactly the same, but there are so many similarities when it comes to the pain, confusion, grief, and rebuilding process. And honestly it sounds like you’re moving in such a positive direction now. Therapy, gym, social life, sitting with the grief instead of running from it… that’s the hard shit most people don’t wanna do. The biggest thing is you’re taking your life back and creating something new and beautiful fo…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 08:56 PM
3

I hear you brother. You’re trying to escape. You’re trying to numb the pain. And trust me, I’m not sitting here acting like I didn’t do the same thing because I did. I drank, did other substances, distracted myself however I could because that pain is brutal and I didn’t wanna feel it either. What you’re feeling is more normal than you probably realize. Your world got flipped upside down and your brain is looking for anything that gives temporary relief or dopamine. The biggest thing though is e…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 08:45 PM
5

Dude it’s just a million Karen’s 😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 08:13 PM
13

This is what I posted: Reddit Told Me To Divorce You 🤷‍♀️ Reading this group long enough will make you question what the point of marriage even is anymore. Half the posts are people quietly emotionally checking out of their spouse while the other person is still home loving their family, paying bills, raising kids, and thinking they’re just going through a rough season. “We feel like coworkers.” “The spark is gone.” “I want to feel alive again.” Same script. Different names. Did anybody stop and…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 10:46 AM
3

Dude love the tactical approach!
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 01:03 AM
1

Always!
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 12:54 AM
2

😂😂 figured everyone would get a little laugh out of it
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 12:51 AM
6

Appreciate your feedback man! Definitely treading lightly right now. Going to have a conversation with her later about this and see what happens. If she can’t respect my family dynamic then the right then is to let her go
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 04:01 PM
6

Social media has created this fantasy of the perfect marriage, perfect spouse, perfect parents, and perfect life, while people compare their real everyday struggles to someone else’s highlight reel. Add in unlimited access to people, attention, and validation at your fingertips 24/7, and it becomes way too easy to avoid conflict, seek outside validation, or convince yourself the grass is greener somewhere else. That recipe sounds like an absolute disaster waiting to happen. Unrealistic expectati…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 04:47 PM
1

Isn’t it crazy how much similarities we have in our stories. Hmmm….. maybe we’re the problem lol
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 01:23 AM
1

I’ve said it to a couple other guys in this group already, but in my opinion, when a woman asks for a separation, she’s already halfway out the door. I’d be making an appointment with an attorney and getting my affairs in order. You have to protect yourself too. And the stuff about “safety” and wanting space to figure things out? Man, you’ve gotta have some self-respect for yourself too. There’s no way I’d want to stay married to someone who wants to see what life looks like without me. I hate a…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 12:09 AM
1

Dude, if someone says they want a “trial separation,” their mind is usually already halfway out the door. I know that’s hard to hear when you’re in the middle of it, but you also have to have some respect for yourself and the man you are. My EXW dragged her feet too and eventually I got so mentally exhausted dealing with it that I hired an attorney and honestly made out way better than I expected once everything was finalized. Looking back, I think she just wanted it done quickly so she could mo…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 11:56 PM
4

You’re dam right I did!!! Got a 23’ CBR 1000RR and man it’s been so much fun! Ride safe dude 🙌
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 11:43 PM
3

Brother, I completely understand where you’re coming from. I used to beat myself up over the same thoughts about my daughter growing up in two homes because I didn’t. But eventually I realized kids would rather come from two peaceful homes than one toxic one. And honestly, when the kids are at their mom’s, that becomes your time. That’s the time to rebuild yourself, hit the gym, find hobbies again, relax, travel, or honestly just enjoy some peace and quiet. Little by little you start getting bet…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 11:41 PM
2

That’s honestly the biggest thing right there, being present. Kids don’t remember perfection, they remember who showed up for them consistently. And trust me, I get it. Everybody starts hitting you with the “you should get back out there” speeches. Meanwhile we’re over here just trying to enjoy a little peace for once 😂 The apps were an absolute dumpster fire for me too. But I’ve actually been seeing someone for almost 5 months now and it’s honestly been a breath of fresh air. I think part of it…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 11:31 PM
1

Brother, I know that pain all too well. The beginning of this process is pure survival mode and there’s really no way to explain it to someone unless they’ve lived it. Just focus on making it through one day at a time right now. Your daughters need their dad healthy, grounded, and present more than anything else. Don’t lose yourself trying to save something that both people have to want. I know it feels like your entire world is collapsing, but I promise you this won’t always feel the way it doe…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 11:25 PM
6

My EXW and I only communicate through TalkingParents. Last weekend, while my daughter was with me, I took her to pick out a card and a few things for her mom. I wrote “Happy Mother’s Day” in the card and left it at that. I don’t really see a need to message her today since it doesn’t involve our daughter or any logistics. Also, I’m closed on Sunday lol
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 10:38 PM
7

Be patient and don’t beat yourself up over this. I know I wasn’t the best husband but I never gave up on my family because they were my whole world. At some point I told myself that I can’t keep doing this. it consumed my life for a while but then it hit me. Why do I keep glorifying this woman who could care less about your feelings and pain that was caused.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 01:43 AM
3

Amen brother! You deserve it and your boys deserve it too!
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 01:35 AM
5

Anytime man! I know how much the fresh grief and pain feel Like it’s never going to end. I’m here to tell you that it does go away. I see some people on here who are years post divorce and they still think their former spouse is the greatest thing since sliced bread. You have to commit to yourself and create some goals you want to achieve in your new life. Not every day is rainbows and unicorns, but every day is a new beginning to create something special.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 01:26 AM
2

Man it would take Will Smith pulling up with that Neuralyzer and wiping my whole memory… and even then I’d probably still say nah 😅
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 11:13 PM
1

As hard as this is, the fact you’re openly owning your faults is huge. That alone means you’re moving in the right direction. That pain, the fear of the unknown, the ‘this is it’ feeling… it sucks man, no way around it. But it does get better. Not overnight, but little by little if you keep working on yourself. Also—no one’s perfect. You made mistakes, but a healthy relationship isn’t built on past resentment. That type of behavior is beyond toxic. I’m about 18 months out, and life is good now. …
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 11:04 PM
2

Honestly dude, you don’t ‘stop’ the pain right away. It hits because your brain turns it into ‘I got replaced’ or ‘they’re happier without me.’ That’s the part that hurts, not just seeing them. Best thing you can do—stop checking their life completely. No socials, no updates. Every time you look, you reset the clock. Also remind yourself: you’re comparing your worst moment to their highlight reel. You have no idea what it’s actually like behind the scenes. It sucks for a while. No way around tha…
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 10:45 PM
1

When everything fell apart, I made one promise, my daughter comes first. Always! Grateful for the new life that I've created for us.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/26 11:55 AM
2

Appreciate it dude 🤘
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 08:37 PM
1

Oh dude, no shame here! I just word vomit into chat here and there
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 10:12 AM
2

Yea I guess I should have started with ‘for the dudes who were left behind in the dust’ lol Appreciate you sharing your experience and perspective. Routines, goals, priorities, and of course being the father I want to be and to build an even stronger relationship with my little girl. It’s been a long, hard, and eye opening journey. The life I created and the accomplishments along the way has truly been a blessing and I continue to try and get better every single day 🙌
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/26 01:37 AM
1

It doesn’t magically get better that’s not how this works dude. You want to be BETTER!
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 10:50 PM
2

Everyone’s journey and experience is different so I hear you on the ‘best thing’ aspect. My daughter is thriving and I’m happy to see your relationship with your kids is awesome. At the end of the day that’s what really matters. Keep working hard! You’re doing great bro!
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 06:14 PM
2

Amen to that brother. Life’s too short to waste time on someone who couldn’t care less about you. It was a rough journey for sure and that doesn’t mean I don’t have my days but I could t be happier with my current life and the life I continue to build for my daughter and I
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 06:12 PM
1

Anytime my dude 🙌
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 06:07 PM
6

Everyone’s healing journey is different man. I’m going to agree with a lot of people on here, you are way too focused on your EXW’s life. Who cares what she’s doing or who she’s doing it with. The person you once knew is dead. Your divorce was finalized for 3yrs and that person has moved on. These type of things deserve zero attention because you have zero control and again why the hell should you care? Have some respect for yourself brotha. Her being gone is truly a blessing and you don’t even …
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/26 06:06 PM
1

Amen to the dudes deserving happiness 🙏🙏 I just started dating about 6 months ago (I thought I was ready before but that’s a lie) and I’ve really been enjoying it! I’ve had a few fun dates/nights, got ghosted a few times, and met someone last month and just taking it slow and seeing how it unfolds. I’m in no rush to get married again, but at times it feels nice to enjoy what I’ve built over these last few years with someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 11:45 PM
21

Bro to bro, life’s too short to sit around feeling sorry for ourselves. I know the pain is real and the early days can feel brutal. But whether we like it or not, here we are with a blank canvas. At some point I realized I had two choices: stay stuck in the past, or start building something new. I started focusing on my health, my mindset, being a good dad, and putting one foot in front of the other. It doesn’t all fix itself overnight. But little by little life starts to come back. Stay strong …
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 01:55 AM
7

Amen brother 🙏 Keep up the hard work! You will be so much stronger and you’ll realize how much you have been held back and you will be able to see your true self and the man that you truly love and want to be. Stay positive and never stop 🙌
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 01:02 AM
9

Dude what are we doing here! My EXW and I are business partners and our daughter is the business. We are not friends and we have no plans to become friends with her. You have to have a little bit more self respect for yourself. This isn’t healthy and there is no way any good comes from this
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 12:57 AM
7

I find that very hard to believe. I wish you the best. Find something to live for and work hard everyday to make yourself and that something grow and thrive for you and your kids
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 12:48 AM
11

I feel your pain brother. Getting replaced like you were absolutely nothing is the worse part. The loneliness sucks big time in the beginning but learning how to be alone is huge. Yea cool you can start dating now but you worked on absolutely nothing. Shoot me a message if you need to vent. You got this dude 🤘
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 12:46 AM
11

Hey man we all believe in you. Unfortunately it seems like you are your own worst enemy. Very negative attitude towards the whole situation. Dude you’re a dad!!!! Your kids are looking up to you. Maybe you don’t want to get better, but your kids deserve a happy and present father. Get the help you need man, this is very unhealthy behavior and you need to get the help and support you need. Dig deep!
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 12:40 AM
7

I’m sorry you feel that way and I truly do hope that it gets better for you. I don’t know The situation but 5yrs is a long time man. What’s not getting better? What’s your routine? I want to help
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/26 11:54 PM
12

Totally get that. Everyone’s timeline is different. I’m not saying it magically gets better for everyone overnight. I made a choice that I was going to create something beautiful for my daughter and I. The people who ‘don’t get better’ make a decision too live with that pain, not letting go of the past, and don’t want to create something amazing. I was just sharing that for me, almost two years later, life turned out better than I ever expected. When I was in the middle of it, I needed to hear s…
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/26 11:50 PM
2

I personally wouldn’t trust her. The thought already crossed her mind. She is making a choice and she has to live with it. You deserve someone who chooses you each and every day. Show some self respect for yourself man.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/26 11:27 PM
1

Like? No Love? Man, Hell no! I have way more self respect for myself than to stay hung up on someone who showed their true colors on the way out.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 11:32 PM
2

Don’t say that man! The only person that’s holding you back is you! Continue to wake up a little bit better than yesterday. You will learn so much about yourself, your strength, and how much crap you actually dealt with. Keep grinding dude!
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 09:55 PM
2

Sorry if I came off as an a hole! What DJ?! Huge EDM fan! I started going to shows again and it’s been a blast. Dating is definitely an overloaded term. I think it’s awesome that you’re going out and having fun. That HUGE. Continue to grow, build, and create the life you deserve!
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 11:47 PM
1

Amen brother! When I was going through my divorce, I thought the pain was never going to end. I questioned myself so many times and blamed myself for everything. But once those rose colored glasses come off you will see that person for who they really are. That’s not the person you said ‘I Do’ to, this person now is a complete stranger. They are the person who has been planning to leave. The person who was distancing themselves from you both physically and emotionally. No man deserves that. Stay…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 09:40 PM
3

I’m 36. Was with my ex for almost 10 years before she pulled the plug — so shorter marriage and a little younger than you. I tried dating about six months after my divorce finalized and it was an absolute dumpster fire. Unrealistic expectations. Women saying they understood co-parenting, then clearly not liking that I have a 9-year-old. One asked to move in after the second date. A few asked for money for bills within days. It was ridiculous. Fast forward 18 months — I’m seeing someone now. We m…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/26 09:07 PM
2

I’ll take Absolutely Not for a $1000
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 02:21 PM
2

This might be too honest and maybe I can work on my approach but DUDE F her and her religion. Get a lawyer and serve her ass. She filed to separate from you? Yea I’m good on that. She can live with her decision and you have to look out for yourself. You moved on and started a new life. Put this chapter to bed and have some self respect for yourself. Sorry for being harsh but you need to stick up for yourself. Ohh did I say F her? lol
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 04:10 AM
2

Say it louder for the people in the back brother! My little girl will always be priority number one. She knows her dad is and will always be there for her 🥰🙏
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 04:01 AM
1

Also the back and forth between houses is a lot for kids. So establishing a new normal is very important. You have to remember that you don’t owe her shit. She is not your friend, buddy, or anything. She is simply your kids mom and your business partner. You have to laugh at the fact that she said she’s stressed out 😂😂😂 My exw said something the other day and all I could do was laugh at her and say that sounds like a personal problem not a business problem. You don’t owe her shit and it’s time f…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 03:38 AM
1

So my EXW and I started with the 2/2/3 schedule and it was kind of a mess because the schedule was different every week. Now we do the 2/2/5 schedule and it’s worked out great for us. I have my daughter every Monday and Tuesday and she’s with her Mom every Wednesday and Thursday. Then we rotate the weekends. It has provided consistency for our daughter and I can actually plan things. I get my daughter for extended periods and I love it but when it’s time to go to moms for 5 days, don’t let the d…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 03:31 AM
2

I appreciate it man! I wouldn’t have believed that I would be where I’m at today if you told me 18 months ago. Not every day is perfect but the peace and joy that I didn’t have for years is the best feeling in the world and I am so grateful to prioritize my little girl and continue to grow each and every day.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 03:19 AM
2

1000%! Just about to finish up. I had to prop myself up to lock in lol. Thanks for sharing brother!
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 03:02 AM
1

Hey man, I hit the high points of your post and you have no business dating. If you’re looking to get laid then you should look for other alternatives that don’t involve dating someone. To be honest, it’s not fair to the other person. You’re filling a void and not addressing your own issues man. Everything that you said in your post clearly shows that you’re not ready. Focus on you and think with your head on your shoulders, not the one downstairs
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 02:59 AM
2

I read about half of the post and you couldn’t of said it any better
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 02:50 AM
1

You met 2 strangers during your walk and you kept it moving brother!
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 02:36 AM
2

What does taking a shit have to do with anything. Also, I’m no expert but a 99 temp is not a fever. You don’t control what goes on there and they don’t control what happens in your home. Ain’t nobody got time for drama. Documenting everything will save you in the long run. If the discussion doesn’t have anything to do with children then there’s nothing to discuss. You pay way too much attention to her and her antics. She wants a reaction and she’s getting one 😐
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 02:07 AM
1

It takes two to tango, but only one to file for divorce. I know it’s easier said than done, but when she says something like “we have nothing in common,” that’s usually her justifying the decision in her own mind. It helps her feel certain about a choice she’s likely been sitting on for a while. These things don’t usually come out of nowhere. Most of the time, it’s been thought through long before it’s said out loud — sometimes just waiting for the right moment. Now it’s time to get to work. Foc…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 12:45 AM
3

This, my dude, is a horrible idea! I know the pain you’re in. When you’re hurting, any small glimmer of hope feels worth chasing. But right now you need to focus on you and have some self-respect. Writing her a letter won’t change anything. It won’t fix what’s broken. What it does is show her you’re still chasing while she’s already made her decision. That only validates her and keeps you stuck. I’m saying this because I didn’t listen when people told me the same thing. I gave the letter. I regr…
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 12:02 AM
1

I’m sure others have already mentioned this but unfortunately dude she checked out long before she told you she wants a divorce. Prioritize your two children and never give up on them. The whole process is rough and you think it’s never going to end. I’m here to tell you it does brother. You deserve more than her. This is a woman who has been planning to leave for a while and this may sound harsh, but I have zero respect for anyone that can look at you and tell you that they love you knowing dam…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/26 01:05 AM
11

Been divorced for almost two years. It took me about 18 months to realize I was letting this woman live in my head rent-free. The funny thing is, I didn’t actually miss her. Of course I still have my days, but they’re few and far between now. I have an amazing relationship with my daughter, and I’ve started dating someone who’s truly a breath of fresh air. All you can do is keep working hard every day. At some point you have to ask yourself: why waste time missing someone who cheated on me? Some…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/26 03:41 AM
2

Bought a CBR1000RR when my divorce was finalized and haven’t looked back
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/25 09:28 PM
4

Dude, I couldn’t agree more. The way everything went down on my end still blows my mind. Wild how someone can look you dead in the eyes and say they love you, not knowing they’d already been planning their exit. That kind of betrayal hits different, it changes you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/25 10:50 AM
1

It’s more than that, there are things that need to be added or modified to our parenting plan so that it’s in black and white.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 12:40 AM
1

Unfortunately, I’m going to have to disagree with you. I’m not holding onto anything. Trust me I don’t want the drama either. I just try to be a good father to my daughter and continue to do the right thing.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 12:37 AM
3

I hate every single part of it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 11:44 PM
1

I’ll have to look into the whole parenting coordinator. What’s sad is I want what’s best for my daughter and she wants war.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 11:43 PM
1

I’m just up in arms at this point. When is enough, enough? There is no way that is going to happen. I have a very good attorney and he’s had my back from the very beginning.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 11:42 PM
6

Dude it’s just so frustrating when all you do is try as a man and as a father. To answer your question, I’ve my attorney the whole time through the divorce proceedings and payed for the whole divorce. I requested that we talk like adults so that we’re on the same page and we can move forward in a positive direction. Now she has lawyered up and said our lawyers can handle this or it can be handled in mediation. It’s just exhausting.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 10:43 PM
1

Amen to that brother. I’m going to keep doing what I’m doing because everything gets done properly and in a timely manner.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 10:31 PM
2

That’s what I’m realizing
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 10:31 PM
1

Nothing is ever enough it seems like
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 10:31 PM
2

And the answer is?! YES!
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 10:30 PM
2

I’m glad I’m not the only one. Shit is just annoying 🤬
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 10:30 PM
1

lol Oh I communicate everything loud and clear
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 06:53 PM
4

Amen to that 🙏
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/25 11:53 AM
6

First off, I just want to thank you for your service man. I did just under 11 years myself, and I know firsthand how much that lifestyle can take a toll—physically, mentally, emotionally. That last part of what you said really hit home for me. My focus now is just trying to be a good dude, a good dad, and co-parent the best I can. But yeah, it freakin sucks. You never imagine that after building a life with someone for so long, you’d end up here—restarting, trying to piece it all back together. …
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/25 11:39 AM
6

I actually went through the BDD claim process and just got my decision letter last week. It definitely played in my favor, and I feel beyond blessed knowing my daughter and I have that sense of security now. But even with that, I’m still searching for who I am. To be honest, I feel like I lost touch with myself over the last decade. I took so much pride in being a husband, a father, a family man. That was my identity. And now that part of my life is gone, I’m having to rediscover who I am outsid…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/25 10:42 AM
1

Thanks man! It’s tough but I look at my situation as a marathon. All the hard work, reflection, and most importantly being present for my little girl is going to pay off in the long run.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 12:34 PM
2

Appreciate it man! I will always and forever show up for my little girl!
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 07:09 PM
1

100%
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 05:35 PM
2

Thanks man 🙏
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 05:35 PM
2

Trust me man, I know that feeling and it’s the absolute worst. I just try and get a little better each and every day and keep showing up for my girl.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 03:55 PM
5

Thanks man! I appreciate the comment. It 100% killed me on the inside watching everything unfold. Seeing my daughter happy is all that matters
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 03:53 PM
4

Definitely not happy but I’m getting better. Unfortunately he and his family are very involved in her life. I just want my daughter to be happy.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 03:49 PM
2

Appreciate your input man! It was tough but I’ll never not show up for my little girl. She’s my whole world. Unfortunately, my EXW does not take stuff like this into consideration.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 03:47 PM
12

Geeze man glad you made them take care of their bill
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 03:42 PM
2

I appreciate your comment brother. Seeing those pictures yesterday just really struck a nerve. Like I mentioned in my post, we had a beautiful boat, trucks, vacations, you name it but all of that is gone now and it freakin sucks. I know she was trying to get a reaction and the dummy in me gave it to her. I’m continuing to get better everyday but yesterday was just one of those days.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 12:20 PM
2

Thank you for this 🙏
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 12:13 PM
1

I was by no means perfect, but I gave it my all day in and day out and then BOOM she was done. I continue to work hard each and every day, but unfortunately yesterday was just one of those days.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 12:13 PM
1

Yea I feel like a total idiot. I don’t know why I let this crap get to me but I need to stay on a positive path moving forward. Amen to that brother, actually just getting home from a morning workout. I get my daughter back today and we’re going on a cruise all next week so I am super excited for that!
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 12:12 PM
2

It’s so crazy how we all have similar stories of how everything went down. I never thought I would ever be in this position but I think in the long run it’ll be a blessing. I never want to be with someone who just sabotages their marriage in the matter of months.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 01:15 PM
6

It’s spiraled out of control so fast. She said she was going out to meet friends for drinks and would come home at 5am. Trust me I got gaslit multiple times regarding our past and resentment held against me from things that happened 9+yrs ago. I could never win and was told there was nothing I could do to fix the situation and her words “we are done”.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 12:21 AM
8

Oh she definitely had toxic friends that influenced the separation/divorce. Because they are all single moms that have dead beat BD.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 11:18 PM
8

I appreciate your response. She actually started dating less than a month after she moved out and is still till this day in a committed relationship with him. He’s 5yrs younger than her and is a cop. He and his family are heavily involved in my daughter life, but I try to remain positive and keep being present for my little girl and trying to be the best dad possible but it still stings at times.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 11:17 PM
4

Dude thank you for sharing! I really needed this. I absolutely don’t miss being unloved and constantly walking on eggshells but damn! I know as time progresses it will get better. Thanks again man 🤘
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 10:37 PM
4

You’re crushing it brother! All your point in each section are so valid 💯
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 11:27 PM
6

You start the next chapter of your life brother. I tried the whole dating thing when my divorce was finalized and trust me you’re not missing out on much. That’s great you have your pets. Super thankful for my two dogs. They keep me busy when my daughter is at her mom’s. Keep hitting the gym hard, sounds like you have something going on with your video game streaming, which is awesome. Obviously when we got married we never expected to be in the position, but the freedom you have is such a relie…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 09:32 PM
1

Excuse me?
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 06:15 PM
3

You need to lawyer up and file so the ball is in your court. Fight for 50/50 because that is what every father deserves. Get a solid parenting plan in place. The best thing for us was when my EXW moved out, it was complete torture living under the same roof during the early stages. Like it or not your EXW is going to have a get a dam job. Remember this is what she wants. Best of luck on your journey.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/25 05:19 PM
2

Appreciate it!
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/25 05:13 PM
1

I appreciate the insight. I decided to take a break from the apps and deleted them. I have a lot going on now personally and professionally. I don’t need to keep up with what my EXW relationship. I’m prioritizing me and my little girl. Hoping to buy a house here in the next couple of months and begin the next chapter.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/25 12:56 PM
6

What’s up my dude! You taking all the right steps and doing all the right things. I’m 6 months divorced and sometimes I still have my days but I’m in a way better position both mentally and emotionally. My EXW moved on not even a month after she moved out. It sucked when I first found out but she’s his problem now. I protect my peace, continue to grow each and every day, and I prioritize my little girl. I’m a firm believer in “what goes around, comes around” and it will all catch up with her eve…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 03:38 PM
1

Our daughter is 8. Yea at first I was annoyed about this “gift” but I settled down and laughed because it is kinda weird and feels so forced. She’s his problem now. At this point, I try and protect my peace and keep moving forward.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 11:23 AM
3

Absolutely, I wish my EXW nothing but the best and we are very cordial and we co parent well. But the situation is definitely weird and putting our daughter smack dab in the middle or her relationship
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 11:46 PM
1

Amen to that! Small world, I’m a PM
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 08:53 PM
1

Yea the relationship is still somewhat new and my daughter met him and his family a week before thanksgiving.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 08:53 PM
1

This is a great take. Thank you for sharing!
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 08:52 PM
1

God I would hope not
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 08:52 PM
2

Thanks brother. That’s exactly what I’m doing. It’s not a sprint it’s a marathon.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 08:51 PM
3

Yea I even said I hope it works out not for my EXW sake but for my daughters because she has been introduced to the BFs family, they did the holidays with the family. It just seems to be moving way too fast. Now the poster board with pictures of my daughter and the Bf together. I know her mom brought up the idea to make this surprise. Just feels very forced and a little much.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 08:50 PM
3

Yea it annoyed me big time when my daughter told me but I just took a deep breath when I got a second to myself and actually laughed and said “that’s just fukn weird” lol
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 08:47 PM
2

Dude the last sentence has me rolling lol I think organic is the way to go. I’m a very active person when I don’t have the little one. Just continuing to focus on being the best dad possible, being a good dude, and working hard. In time I hope it all plays out. Thanks man 🤘
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 08:46 PM
3

Thanks brother I appreciate the comment. A few months ago I would let something like this ruin my weekend and I told myself let that shit go and keep doing you. I will always be there for my little girl and I continue to focus on my physical, mental, and emotional health, as well as my career.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 05:51 PM
2

So freakin weird! It’s a poster of pictures of our daughter with the boyfriend. It just feels so forced as well.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 02:24 PM
3

It really is BS! Glad I’m not the only one who thinks it is. Oh I know, towards the end the marriage was completely sabotaged. She would go out some nights with “friends” and not come home until 5-6 in the morning. Constant lies, rants to justify her actions, were not compatible nonsense, blah blah blah
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 02:23 PM
2

Correct no kids on his side and my EXW and I have an 8yr old daughter. That’s what I do protect her heart, always show up for her, and will always be there for her. I try not to worry about things that are out of my control but this scenario is just so weird and seems so forced to me. Hey, she’s his problem now!
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 02:14 PM
2

Oh when she first told me I was stewing inside but took a couple deep breaths and then I laughed and said to myself, “that’s just freakin weird” lol
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 02:13 PM
4

I appreciate the comment but I gave it my all each and every day over the last nine years. Yea we had some bumps in the road just like any relationship/marriage but I never gave up until I had to realize it was finally over. So no, my marriage didn’t fail because I didn’t want to put in the work. And no I’m not looking for a maid
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 02:22 PM
1

I think that’s where I’m at now man. It’s just too much and like you said, I really don’t have time.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 12:27 AM
1

Oh they absolutely take work but right now I don’t think I’m ready to put in that work.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 12:25 AM
2

Amen to that brother. I think this is an amazing mindset. Appreciate you sharing
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 12:24 AM
1

Thanks man I really appreciate this. I think after doing the apps for a little bit and having a small fling I told myself that I’m not ready for this nor do I want this because it was just so much work that I was not willing to do. Have been enjoying life, working out, riding my motorcycle, working hard, and enjoying my little girl.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 11:59 PM
2

That’s awesome man! Good for you! Just started riding motorcycles not to long ago so I’m hoping to build my social group as well but I have enjoyed my peace and not dealing with the BS minus some co-parenting BS
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 11:57 PM
2

Oh I don’t need a woman badly, I’m just saying dating is a pain in the ass. I completely agree with you and after a 9yr marriage I am by no means in a rush to get into anything.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 03:57 PM
2

Yea I think I’m going to take some time off and I have since December. Focusing on myself, my daughter, and my career.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 03:56 PM
6

This is definitely and option
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 02:13 PM
1

Yea I could give a shit less at this point. I have to many good things going on in my life right now
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 02:13 PM
1

Yea they definitely suck. Have been hitting the gym hard, probably in the best shape of my life. Focusing on myself, my daughter, and my new professional career.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 02:12 PM
1

Couldn’t have said it any better! Thank you for this.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 02:10 PM
2

Sure did! I’m 6’3, 200 pounds, have big arms and a six pack 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 02:09 PM
1

😂😂😂 yea I noticed that. I’m not wasting my money on that crap
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 02:08 PM
2

Couldn’t agree more. I’m completely fine on my own right now and I have a lot to be grateful for. One day at a time and keep trucking along.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 02:07 PM
1

Amen to that. I stopped looking a couple months ago and have been putting my focus on other things ie. My new career, my physical mental and emotional health, and my daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 02:06 PM
3

That second paragraph is spot on man. Definitely still in the healing process and from 10 months ago to now it is a night and day difference because I was in a very dark place.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 02:05 PM
3

Yea it’s just exhausting man and I’m not really for it right now to be honest. I’d definitely get out and about, go to the gym, church, beach, just got into riding motorcycles and it’s a freakin blast. Focusing on myself, my daughter, and my new career.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 02:04 PM
2

I’ll have to check it out one day! Thanks man
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 01:38 PM
4

While I did have so good luck on the apps they just rubbed me the wrong way. It’s definitely hard work and I ask myself “do I really want to be in a relationship after a 9yr marriage?” My response right now is, Hell no! Just focusing on myself and my little girl.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 01:37 PM
2

Yea dude they’re terrible. I started riding motorcycles not to long ago and hoping to join a riding group in the future to meet some people.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 01:36 PM
2

I love this! Thanks brother
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 11:46 PM
3

Oh yes too much control.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 12:00 PM
1

Oh man you hit the nail on the head with this comment!
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 11:59 AM
4

Thanks man I needed this
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 04:27 PM
4

Which I freakin hate that it’s a test. But you are 100% right and I’ll all about keeping the peace. I’m respectful I say hello and that’s pretty much it
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 03:02 PM
2

Thank you for the insight and breaking this down. I really appreciate it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 02:17 PM
2

No no I say that her mom and I love YOU (My Daughter) very much. I think I messed up my initial response to that
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 02:11 PM
1

She’s almost 9
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 02:06 PM
6

I just want to keep the peace and have a good co parenting relationship but when things like this happen it makes it difficult
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 02:02 PM
4

My thoughts exactly
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 02:00 PM
8

Yea I’ve taken note of it if she tries to pull some shit in the future. It’s just annoying man. I say Hi and Bye, I’m not there to be your friend. I go to the sporting events to support my daughter. Play your mind game with you boyfriend and let me protect my peace
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 01:58 PM
1

Thanks man! I try my very best to give my little girl she deserves. I’m by no means perfect but I try to improve each and every day. Yea I don’t bad mouth her mom I tell her that her mom and I love her very much and that’s about it. 10 months into this journey and it has definitely has had its ups and downs but I’m doing it man!
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 01:56 PM
3

Yea I need to start being the punching bag and putting up with this crap. Her problems are no longer my problems. Appreciate the comment man
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 01:46 PM
6

Thanks man I needed to hear this. When we started this journey I just wanted to be a good dude, a good dad, and a good co-parent. It just makes it difficult when you have to deal with BS like this
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 01:38 PM
2

Can you elaborate
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 01:26 PM
6

I totally understand that I have to deal with her when it comes to raising our little girl but I’m done with her petty bullshit games she try’s to play. That I will not put up with. Like the message yesterday, I didn’t even respond because I know that’s what she wanted.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 01:11 PM
8

I met the BF before he was introduced to our daughter. Besides that they all attend my daughters sporting events, I say hi and that’s about it and I guess that is extremely rude 🤷‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 01:09 PM
3

Yes extremely triggered! Definitely going to be something I discuss with my therapist this week. I chose not to respond to the mess because I was pissed off and I figured no response is a response. I’m done playing her game. I just want to love and support my daughter
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 01:07 PM
7

Oh I’m definitely not playing her game. I’m over it
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 01:05 PM
3

Oh I could never win when we were married. Thank god I’m not married to her anymore but not I have to deal with this petty bullshit and it really messes with my head
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 01:03 PM
5

Yea I just don’t get it man. Haven’t started dating or anything yet but by thing is I don’t have anything to say to the BF, the BFs mom, and my EXW. I go to my daughters events to support her
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 01:02 PM
7

I feel your pain man. Mine started dating 2 weeks after she moved out. At this point I could really care less. Some people can’t be alone, but my EXW checked out long before she asked for a divorce. Now I just focus 100% of my effort of my physical and mental health as well as being the best father I can possibly be. I don’t have to worry about waking up everyday and wondering which version of my EXW I was going to get. Figure out what your priorities are and get after it man. That person you ma…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/25 01:04 PM
1

Amen to that brother. I’m continuing on my personal growth journey. Currently in the process of transitioning out of the military after 10+ yrs and establishing my new professional career. Couldn’t be more grateful for the opportunities that I have in front of me and excited for what the future has in store for my daughter and I
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 03:12 PM
21

The person you married and the person you divorced are two completely different people. You took the high road and said congrats. You have 50/50 and that’s all that matters. Keep being the best dad possible and continue to work on yourself 🤘
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 09:34 PM
6

I have done a lot of reflection on my marriage and I know I wasn’t perfect and I had my flaws. I just don’t know how it spiraled out of control so fast. That is what I don’t understand and to be honest I’m at the point where it doesn’t matter because it’s done and I am moving forward with my life. I’m not interested in dating right now. I went on a couple dates and they were fun but after a 10yr relationship I’m not looking to jump into something. I’m focused on my career, my mental health, and …
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/25 12:44 PM
3

Of course man! None of us want to be in this situation. I know you love your kids but you need to focus on your mental health through this process because if your not good upstairs your not good for your little ones. DM me if you need someone to vent too.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/25 01:56 AM
4

First off you haven’t failed as a father! I know you guys are working through things right now and I hope it all works out because I never wish the pain that I went through on anyone. Unfortunately you have to prepare for the worst brother. When my EXW told me she was done I’ll never forget her facial expression. It was so cold and she showed zero emotion. I was devastated. I begged, I cried, I tried to do everything under the sun and guess what? She still left. You have to focus on yourself, yo…
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/25 12:35 AM
6

Thanks man I appreciate it 🙏
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 10:18 PM
9

Hey and I wish her nothing but the best and we will continue to co parent together but I have a lot going for me and my own life to live now
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 09:06 PM
4

Who knows at this point. She jumped into a relationship a few weeks after she moved out and have been in one since then. I was by no means perfect but everything spiraled out of control so fast I had no chance
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 08:46 PM
5

Not that I know of I guess relationship started after she asked for divorce and moved out
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 08:44 PM
6

It really is! I’m not expecting anything. She jumped into a new relationship a couple weeks after she moved out and has been in it since.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 08:13 PM
4

Yes sir! I protect my peace and do what’s best for me and my little one
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 07:42 PM
4

You said it man!
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 07:40 PM
3

Appreciate it man. It definitely sucks but hey, what can you do? I still have my days but I try to look at all the good things I have going for me and continue to work hard to build a new life for my daughter and I
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 07:35 PM
3

You make a very good point man. I think as I’ve been going through this journey my mindset is exactly the same. To be honest, I don’t understand nor do I want to understand. I protect my peace, always present for my daughter, and establishing myself in my new professional career.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 07:24 PM
6

Yes it was an amicable divorce. To be honest I came out of it pretty good, no child support, she didn’t want alimony, and I got to stay in the house. She just wanted out and said we grew apart. It definitely took a huge toll on me and I’ve done a shit ton of work to get to where I’m at today but it’s just wild what divorce does to people.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 06:54 PM
9

Dude I know it’s the last thing you want to hear but as someone has said before me, your marriage is over. It’s a tough pill to swallow trust me I was in your shoes 10 months ago. As men we want to fix but it pushes them further away. You need to focus on you now. Become the best version of yourself. Not every day is going to be perfect and some days the pain will be unbearable. I know others will agree it does get better with time. Don’t worry about things that are out of your control. If she w…
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/25 05:24 PM
8

Love this! Thanks bro 🤘
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 09:16 PM
8

My now XW didn’t request alimony. Since our salaries were close to the same my attorney also filed for no child support as well. Divorced was finalized a week ago and I get to keep the house until June 2027, no child support, 50/50 custody , no alimony. I call that a W in my book
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/24 08:56 PM
1

34 turn 35 tomorrow. Married for 8.5yrs together for almost 10. Does it suck? Absolutely! Only about 3.5 months into the process, paperwork is filed just waiting for a court date. Currently have a healthy co-parenting relationship with my daughter’s mother. During this time I’ve been focusing on myself, and being the best version of myself for my daughter.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 07:01 PM
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