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Ni_koli Archive

View 1 posts and 102 comments by Ni_koli on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Going out and enjoying life has been the saving grace, walking, picking up golfing and just making new friends, the most conflicting feeling remains is whether I want to stay in the house or move, and whether I can sacrifice more time here for the kids sake or get a fresh start and make it up to them by being largely conflict free and giving them a better life still, by being better myself. Took me a while to find the peace inside, didn't come in the first year but damn this 2nd year has been gr…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 07:51 AM
3

This is what runs through my head, I feel anchored to the past here, time feels like it goes nowhere and it's groundhog day sensations, I just don't want to lose years to it and regret I didn't take the bandaid off sooner, but it'll disrupt the kids and they been through a lot with it all.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 11:50 PM
3

I'm in Australia, and we have variable rates here, so basically would be the same %, just have to cop what we call stamp duty tax for a new purchase. Would be worse of financially for little bit, so it depends on what I end up perceiving the value of a fresh start would be.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 11:47 PM
7

Working out and getting into a workout routine can be hard, but it really is the best thing you can do. Sometimes I dont work out for a while, get depressed, unmotivated, but I sometimes squeeze in a set of squats and a day later I'm feeling back on top of the world. Really is crazy how beneficial working out is, I'm just in a position where my personal situation doesn't allow it consistently ( have auto immune disease and my body just struggles sometimes). But walking, especially in nice nature…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 12:58 AM
1

Best thing you can do in your own capacity on your days right after hers is just wear them out a little, take them for a walk, bike ride, park etc. Mine are generally hyperactive the day or two after they come back from their mother's, so I end up battling them on my bed, wrestling, throwing them around, making them work to get out of holds, (I call it anaconda hugs as my eldest loves snakes). Burns them out of energy and they also love the bonding time, so it's a win win
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 06:50 AM
2

Fucking golf chicks man, not wrong there
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 06:37 AM
7

Holy shit it's a fucking wasteland in there lol.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 03:12 AM
4

Touching on so much truth here, it's when I started to set boundaries first with my parents, then with her, was when she lost control of me, think she realised the gig was up. She also had all the usual features, never apologised for anything she did to hurt me, always moved the goalposts, always diverted required change into the future then never actioned it. Looking back I can't help but see how weak I was in some regards, she must of seen and smelt that a mile away, much to my dismay.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 02:57 AM
1

Lols Nose piercing - check Tattoos over arms - check Dyed hair blue and got it cut - check Now going through an ADHD diagnosis - check. Holy shit they really do just all run on the same programming sometimes don't they
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 03:57 AM
2

you must wonder why his curious why your hanging around in a divorced men's subreddit, generally people in happy marriages don't hang around in forums dedicated to discussions of divorce...
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 05:35 AM
1

That's the beauty of my ex wife, never went on top in like a decade of being together (aside from the first few years) I like to think I was her heroin, even though she asked for seperation from me which I immediately agreed to, I feel like the dealer who cut off her supply, I feel good about it about. Whilst we were seperated but living together she went and fucked her coworker, but he was obviously a lame duck, because she was soloing herself the next night and I saw many times very frustrated…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 12:30 PM
1

This is good to know and fits my situation completely
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 07:02 AM
3

I'm 14-15 months since seperated date and whilst the first 6 months were brutal, the next 3 months after that I could feel the strangle of depression lifting, the last 6 months have been a night and day improvement compared to first 6-9 months, just give it time, it gets better, you have more days where you feel alive again, you have less days in which you don't feel numb, it comes in waves, whilst the progression is noted in hindsight, you will feel more days where you feel alive and free again
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 01:26 PM
5

Your acting like s dumb bastard, and judging how your acting you'll probably blow the money in a short order of time doing other stupid things. You got to keep the house, sounds like no extra payments to her, sounds like your just mad she's enjoying her life, the best revenge is to live your best life, seems like she's doing it whilst you want to gloat. Money doesn't bring happiness, you'll get 30 seconds of enjoyment by bragging about it, and then your life will go back to being the same it is …
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 06:39 AM
5

The tunnel is cold dark and long, and seemingly never ending, then you start to see the light and it's so far away, and then suddenly your close to the end, and the warmth of sun hits your face, and you know your going to be alright, but times the only thing you can't cheat, just enjoy the rare days where it's not all bad, and know you'll have more of them in the future
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 10:36 AM
1

I had the same issue, I wasn't happy unless my ex was happy, absolutely one of the biggest mistakes anyone can make in life is doing this, as my ex found a reason to be unhappy every day, me, or her friends, or work, or other random shit, always an excuse, never a solution. I cut out a lot of things from my life that I thought were making me unhappy, and then she was the only one left. Turns out I could of sped up the process if I started with her, now I'm happy to have lots in my life that make…
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 07:17 AM
3

Solitude is absolutely amazing and I love myself now more than when I was married, I didn't even miss the idea of being married, and when I realised it it made me feel even better. Time is brutal at the start, but your friend in the long run
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 07:11 AM
8

I eventually asked my wife that we put a hard date in time in which we don't go back to the past and recycle shit in arguments because we were still here for each other in the today. Man she absolutely fucking hated not having a bag of tricks to pull shit from, I think it probably accelerated my divorce because it took power away from her to bring up shit from the past to use in current arguments to avoid responsibility for things she did in the present. Feels good now not hearing about menial s…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 07:00 AM
5

Read the book and not the cover....
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 06:40 AM
1

This is the way to think about it, grieve the death of your wife and then just don't really acknowledge the ghost driving their body, makes it much easier to be honest, I just see my ex as a stranger now, so when she tries to tell me about her her I just imagine it's a random person at the train station or bus stop and not acknowledge it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 06:30 AM
2

Her supposed behaviour is just a reflection of how she sees herself on the inside, you should take comfort in knowing she's miserable on the inside because it leaks out in shitty behaviour, she's truely not happy if she does this. Just be glad you escaped an immature teenager, and don't let shitty unhappy get in your head, gotta move beyond that mate.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 06:03 AM
5

It's crazy how often we do it ourselves. What are the mantras of this sub, stuff like: Lift weights Stop drinking or doing drugs etc Eat better Lose weight. Get into hobbies. Get more socially active Lean on friends Etc It's human to want to stop feeling the pain of going through a divorce, works for both genders though, many people put their own life on hold for love, because we believe we've met someone that doesn't require us to change or for kids, as key take up a lot of time. or life create…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 05:56 AM
1

I got 65%/35% split and my dad also got like 70/30 his favour, we used same lawyer, helped soften the pain but the overwhelming inbalance in actual financial contributions to the respective partnership meant my ex still turned basically a nil investment to a 70x return in 7 years. But....I got to keep the house though, and all the memories of the kids firsts, and the next 2-3 decades of them growing up in the house they were born in, I get to be the stability and rock they deserve. Absolutely wo…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 12:56 PM
4

Yeah same here, she really sped up the process of me getting over her after being a cold lying snake in the grass
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 10:23 PM
1

I also took advantage of my wife's affair fog and wanting to be in a hurry, got good terms and kept the house whilst she was busy screwing her co-worker, gotta thank her for her continued lack of judgement as really helped me out
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 08:18 PM
5

Thats the way I look at it too, I don't even think I would of been friends with her if we seperated before the marriage ended, but after she decided to seperate with no adult conversation at all, and became literally the worst person she could be after numerous selfish actions, and just lying to my face over and over, I despise even being in the same room as her with kids activities and things. Plenty of people in this world to be friends with other than an ex
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 07:35 AM
1

How long has it been? Mines been about 10 months now and 90% of those sad depression days are gone and swapped with acceptance and vigor for life, I held a funeral for the person I knew so I could grieve it out, identified all her flaws that made me miserable, and realized that even though some days are more difficult than others, I'm happier now more than anytime I was in the last few years of the marriage, I realize what I miss is many years ago, and it was time to refocus all that energy I sp…
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 10:11 AM
6

Alcohol is legal too but there's a million divorces that contribute it to a reason why the divorce is happening. If your smoking weed everyday you likely have unresolved issues that your covering over/using it as a crutch. I did the same thing for many years, but turns out 75% of my weed smoking was to deal/cope with that lack of positive contribution from her in the relationship, and shit she had done over the years and 25% due to existing issues that were around before she was. The day she sep…
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 10:04 AM
2

100% we both knew we weren't perfect, but she was happy to judge me on my imperfections but if I raised any issues it was like I drove a knife in her back, it's a sad way to live. The amazing thing is, as I was clearing out all.her junk she refused to sort before she moved, I found professional career review summaries that were done about 5 years apart, and in it they basically list everything identically that I raised in the relationship, so that not only validated my feelings, but also gave me…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 11:30 PM
3

These romance novels are almost as bad as social media, all my ex would do all.day was read romance and basically porn novels and browse social media, got it in her head that she deserved more than what she had, I was so salty at the beginning of separation and it took me a while, but then I realized that if her brain is so easily swayed by a false reality then it's really better in the long run that she's not in my life anymore, too much shit to try and fight n negate instead of just living and…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 09:45 PM
5

I was called financially abusive because I kept money my father gave me in my own account to ensure we had years of stability, and I asked her to contribute 50/50 towards bills after I put 270k towards house purchase and she put 1k, then for about 6 years she covered maybe 1/3 of mortgage repayments, until i switched career and she went full time work, which was against what we previously agreed upon (both part time so we can spend more time together and raise kids ourselves in the early years? …
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 09:37 PM
5

Yep they just doing confirmation bias, they already want to see you in a certain way to absolve themselves of any guilt, so as long as 1 out of 1,000,000 tik toks or Instagrams agree, then that's all they need, it's insane how the female mind can work sometimes
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 09:29 PM
3

I can't wait for mine to get her heart broken a bunch of times, I know it will happen, and it will be the universe balancing the ledger for what she did
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 10:33 AM
3

I'm the same, screen calls, then wait for s text, if it's relevant about kids then I'll respond. She texted me something the other day about how she thought my eldest son's prep school transition day would do him some good, basically just regurgitating what I advised her a few weeks ago when she wasn't coping with him being anxious about it. I just previewed the message but left on unread, felt good lol
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 09:25 AM
8

This is basically my story as well, I was a fool, and now I'm entering a period of deep reflection after she discarded me, I hate how she just decided I was no longer of use to her, before the separation I got depression and raised grievances that she never supported me and I felt like just a tool to satisfy her needs, I doubt she ever loved me the way I loved her, just that I met her needs until she drained me of everything. I hate the broken family and only seeing kids half the time, but somew…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 08:26 AM
1

Myself, and a mutual best friend, basically told my wife on her 30th birthday she needed to grow up, this was after everyone had left for the night, just us 3, it was almost a lecture of sorts by the end of it, we probably spent an hour talking about it. 5 years later and fuck me I was just so sick of her not growing up, I checked out and decided to live my life the way I wanted to and focus on me, within 6 months of changing my priorities to my happiness and personal goals instead of hers, and …
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 11:08 AM
1

took me 6 months after separation date to really see positive changes, she was living with me for 4 months post separation? now 9 months in and I've had happy days I've not experienced in over 5 years. it does get better, but the passge of time doesn't cend for anyone, gotta go through the pain to get the gains and come out the other side. therapy is good, exercise, achieving goals long forgotten about, I'm finding building and completing projects very beneficial as well as walks and sunshine, g…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 02:33 AM
1

German shepperds carried me through 7 years of ashitty relationship, they are the best
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 02:21 AM
4

My ex wife went from saying oh baby I hope you never change, to our relationship was never healthy all within 12 months. Once they pull.the divorce trigger, they basically retcon in an entirely different reality and overwrite the past to justify their shitty actions and lack of accountability/communication skills, both things I called her out on on so many occasions. She wanted to me to just assume everything and get it right the first time instead of actually talking to me like an adult. We can…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 02:07 AM
1

Lol used to go to a lot of races back in the day, doesn't transition well out of the race scene, but plenty of space at home, but honestly the walking is almost a must, it got me through the worst months just going to zen place with nature and enjoying the calm
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 12:36 AM
0

https://ibb.co/q07Sc0c Here's the study results in picture
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 09:36 AM
5

Walking and dancing are the two biggest anti depressants there are, no lies, dancing is number 1 but I'm a shit dancer so walking st least 6km a day, in nature, works a treat.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 09:31 AM
1

Same thing happened to me, no awareness or accountability of their own actions, I begged my wife to go to therapy after a traumatic birth and probably PTSD and pdd from it, told over over and over I wanted to do overnight feeds so she could rest and recover, made massive concessions in my own life to support her, then I ended up having to start therapy myself because she just ran me over, then seperated from me from a hospital bed after being admitted from a neurological disorder, which is broug…
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 01:50 AM
2

Married almost 7 years, together almost 17. Has taken me about 8 months to start having more good days then bad, still have them occasionally but honestly life has improved dramatically, divorce still not finalised but basically no contact apart from.kids stuff, the inner peace is mind boggling, I had so many conflicting emotions during the marriage and even though it hurt to my core we seperated, I realised I had massive maturity growth in the last few years and she regressed in maturity to the…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 07:12 AM
12

This is very true, my wife bailed when I had bad depression...which stemmed from her checking out of the relationship. Literally double tapped me, no forgiveness for her
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 10:11 AM
3

Bout 7k for lawyers so far, payout to X 70k of her equity in the house, split 65-35 in my favour, 50/50 kids schedule, I keep the house, just need to refinance it within 12 months, no child support, no spousal maintenance, saw my dad get raked on his 2nd divorce, I told the ex Im.not going to get fucked like he did, made sure she knew I would go to court if she tried to get about what her share was, basically little back of forth n that was it
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 07:19 AM
1

Did she get a payout? Then boom you have paid for them, she just hasn't put the money toward them yet. Not your problem now
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 07:59 AM
3

Lols they always fuck a coworker for excitement don't they, just scummy behaviour
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 12:47 AM
1

I'm about 9 months and it's really starting to change, way more positive days than bad, therapy definitely helps and I can't thank my therapist enough for giving me a zone to reflect and see what my life was doing, definitely helping me grow as a person and hold me accountable to my.own actions and making me learn to control my own life
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 12:31 AM
6

Haven't felt inner peace like this in the 16 years that I was with her, been almost 9 months since seperation, all became clear once I started going to therapy to grow and heal myself and she refused to join me in the path to becoming better people for our kids. Still have days where I think about her in a positive light, but it's memories from years ago. We had different life paths in the end, I wanted to find my inner peace, she wanted to fuel her inner chaos, not ready to heal and grow from t…
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 12:19 AM
1

At least yours is pretending to agree to go to therapy, mine refused after 16 years basically asking her every other year. Show now has a neurological condition which literally is the result of not feeling with past trauma, yet she still can't figure it out. I would hate to be a women to be honest, who the fuck knows what going on in their brains at any moment
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/24 06:00 AM
1

Mine won't come crawling back because the wall of accountability I'm asking for is to insurmountable for her to ever climb over. It would be nice to be able to reject her if she ever did, but I also have the peace and freedom knowing she'd rather self destruct and take some other guy down with her than infecting me with her poison again. It's comforting knowing there's an invisible wall that's protecting me now, I never thought the universe was looking out for me during the separation, but it wa…
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 01:41 AM
6

It does take time, I'm 7 months into seperation, divorce will be at 12 months. Spent the first two months pushing for counselling, then the cunt slept with her coworker on what would of been our wedding anniversary, whilst still living in the same house. That definitely was a turning point, next two months after was rough, but last 3 months has been good progress, went from remembering all the good times and yearning for the future I planned, to remembering what a grade a level cunt she had turn…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 08:30 AM
3

I don't think the next highest countries divorce rate is half of the USA, Australia is like 50-60% marriages end in divorce, I'm definitely not getting married again, western world is bloody cooked now, glad I've got two boys but who knows what the world's going to be like for them growing up, covid pandemic really has destroyed what the already fragile world once was
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 08:16 AM
2

Find one of your old favourite songs that makes you cry, not relationship songs but there's songs out there I use to make myself cry, definitely helps dumping the emotions out a little even if it is only a light trickle, I'm 7 months into seperation and have only cried twice, only listening to music that tugs at my heart, crying didn't even last the whole songs, but it's nice to get relief, otherwise I'm mainly the same. Therapy helps but that's more for just keeping functional, doesn't lighten …
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 08:40 AM
1

The amount of times I said in my own head don't mistake my kindness for weakness when it came to my ex-wife's behaviour geez, The best life is not having to talk to them, unfortunately I've got two kids I have to share for the next 15 years at least, every time I see you I lose 3 days to disorganized brain functioning, I'm only 7 months into the separation and I can't wait for the divorce I wish I was away I never had to see her again, life sucks sometimes
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 03:08 AM
1

Really well said, basically same situation as mine
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 03:01 AM
6

My father in law probably would, but he mother in law is a piece of work, and did enough damager to stbxw that she passed her shittiness and immaturity on to her, so will absolutely be happy not to receive that call from her
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/24 04:02 AM
2

Same here, she used to call her biological dad sperm donor, she thinks he abandoned them, but her mother cheated on him and then she bailed to another state to avoid humiliation and shame of what she had done. fuck I was an idiot trying to get her to see he wasn't a bad guy, for so long I tried, never got through. these women these days think kindness is weakness, I'm sad I'm separated and couldn't make it work, but I now realise I was given an impossible task that I was never going to be able t…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 02:13 AM
2

terrible communicator, always wanting something more, always expecting you to read their mind like some teenage love drama. so tiring
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 01:35 AM
3

I feel sad that I was fooled into thinking I could change like 6-10 of these red flags to green flags, damn large amount of hubris on my behalf bloody hell
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 01:28 AM
1

Same thing happened to be, stbxw had bad 2nd birth and she literally just checked out caring for me at all, I withdrew as I was depressed my wife and best friend had gone, then she decided she was lonely without me and wanted to divorce, even though I was in therapy and suggested it to her, she wouldn't do it, even to save us. She had childhood trauma, and I think being a mother raised everything inside of her she never dealt with before as a neglected kid herself. Now it's like talking to someo…
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/24 09:33 AM
5

its really bad. I remember telling her (stbxw) that her phone addiction was killing the relationship, raised I felt like I was invisible when she was a zombie on her phone, just endlessly scrolling shitty 6 second videos instead of engaging with me and the family, and she wonders why I became distant from her and starting focusing more of my energy trying to get myself together, after basically being abandoned by her to her phone. I despise what it has done to people, the facebook director was r…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 05:05 AM
1

I considered it as how she separated from me was disgusting, but I decided not to, as instead I used it towards her financial assets figures within a separation agreement, in the hope id have to pay out less
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 02:45 AM
3

All I could think of what when dyed her hair was, doesn't your work not allow this, why would you do something that goes against your work policies, especially on probation, then she sat there whinging for 2 days saying it wasn't working (removing blue dye) and she was struggling to fix the mess she got herself into, she ended up redying it a completely darker colour to get the blue out, so she literally spent an entire weekend fixing her mistake, and didn't even have the capacity to look at the…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 12:42 AM
9

Mine also went full vanity mode, posting Instagram and tik tok stuff, I unfortunately knew before hand that she had a streak of this within her personality, I just thought she might grow out of it, nope. I'm beginning to believe that a large amount of women stop maturing at the teenager level, at least those who may of suffered a traumatic event before say 20. And anything that reflects maturity is a side of effect of their situation, but men are like this as well, but we need to survive a harsh…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 12:34 AM
6

They definitely aren't all the same, but at this time, after 17 years of trying to please her and make her happy, I just want to focus on what makes me happy, and get myself a well balanced life which I feel like I can live, and not just survive. almost 7 months into the separation now and its getting better every day, I just need to remind myself to keep the contact to a minimum and remember I don't have to be do things for her if I don't want to, she recently got fired up as a I wouldn't do a …
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 12:20 AM
6

We must of been dating the sisters, or something, Mine also did the blue hair, its like a manifestation of mental issues into the physical world, and she even knew that her job didn't allow excessive hair colours, so she died it blue for 3 days then spent the next 3 days trying to wash it out of her hair, felt like insanity. Mine now tells me she's spending all this time reconnecting with friends and living her best life, like WTF are you talking about, I never controlled your ability to see fri…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 12:16 AM
15

I had the exact same issues, especially touching on the wife acting like a teenager and disguising in under the cloak, hell my stbxw is 35 and basically went out and got her nose pierced the week she moved out of the house. She's fully flipped into being an emotional teenager who has decided she did no wrong in the relationship, 17 years together total and all she could muster was "we both made ,mistakes", I've spent 6 months recognising mine so I don't fall into the trap of doing it again, tryi…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/24 11:37 PM
5

Alcohol is a depressant, so as long as you want to be depressed, keep doing it, otherwise give that shit up asap and give yourself another dopamine addiction like video games, coffee or something that doesn't ruin your body and make you depressed. Walking helps, and gym. There was a study that showed dancing and walking are the two largest anti depressants known to man, that includes actual anti depressants. So hit at least 5km a day walking and that's a baseline, so it for a week and stop drink…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 09:26 PM
3

100% this
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 09:47 AM
7

I'm in a very similar situation to what you have described above, almost as though I could of written it myself. I found solace in playing video games we didn't play together, I bought a ps5+ god of war Ragnarok bundle like 2 years ago. Guess what game I finally got round to playing in the last two weeks, you guessed it. And it dawned on my that I literally didn't get the opportunity to sit down and play a highly anticipated game for years simply because I couldn't get the time to do it. So it's…
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 09:40 AM
3

I got the isn't the same person anymore either. But turns out the phrase should more be like "I'm done wearing this mask, I'm going to go back to being myself and what I know"
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 10:32 AM
3

This is basically an example of my stbxw right here, I suspect she got bored but what she really had was stability and me wanting a deeper emotional connection with her after the kids were born, she wanted chaos and excitement. Saw her recently and she's Literally 35 and just got her nose pierced, it's something teenagers go out and do, she was a broken teenager that had maybe had a genuine go at growing up and realised being a broken teenager with no accountability is easier. Something about ha…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/24 10:29 AM
3

Had a weekend like this, it felt the toughest one in the 5 months since seperation, combined with massive broken sleeps and a current medical issues I'm dealing with, wasn't a fun weekend at all being alone with thoughts I thought I managed to best months ago, guess I just pushed the pain out of the mind but it didn't get processed
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 08:16 AM
2

I look back and the only thing she gave me was kids, everything else was my energy flowing to support her life, she spent no energy of hers to support me. Only can see it clearly once time has been spent apart
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/24 02:27 AM
6

Buddy right here with you, I'm 6.3" blue eyes, blonde hair, was pulling 6 figures before I decided I wanted a career swap, above average size in pants department, literally bought the house with no contribution from the stbxw ($1k) Remodelled the whole thing by myself before the first born. Slaved away building up equity, assets, being a partner in the house, the head chef, doing majority of work around the place. Still wasn't enough, but least I got 50/50 custody and she moved out, might even g…
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 10:35 AM
5

This literally happened a week before we separated, basically hunted me down like a komodo dragon having already bitten me with poison, and waited until I was sick as a dog and exhausted and then tried to initiate, even though I tried several times in the prior days. Fucking still bothers me to this day
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 05:42 AM
1

It helps to reframe it, and it really depends on where the guilt is coming from. Is it internally? Like are you guilty that you could of done more to rescue the marriage or feels like you failed the marriage or kids? I was getting crushed by it, but I reframed it in my mind that my wife has died, and whatever entity in her body is in control, does not care about me at all. It allowed me to grieve, allowed me to process the loss of the marriage, I don't feel guilty as I need to see myself step up…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 03:19 AM
1

I'm now 5 months post seperation day, and I feel like I'm probably 75-85% of the way there. First 3.5 months were rough as fuck,. basically disassociated from everything, was all over the shop, emotional damage all round, tried to get her to go to counselling, wouldn't hear it, was already fucking her co worker. Walking, therapy, gym, eating well, spending time with kids in a happier frame, all these things really helped me through it. My emotions have stabilised now and im starting to see a fut…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 03:11 AM
3

What happens when the worker is basically an average worker, refuses to even contribute to the base level of work required, continuously takes sick days, doesn't engage in anything said by company to improve themselves, refuses to meet the company half way on issues about work quality, participation and general attitude. And in general believes it's their god giving right for them to act this way. If a women will never even consider that the way they act has any bearing in a relationship, wtf is…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 02:27 AM
4

Ooph, so realistic. Should also had, absolutely no willingness to take accountability on when someone says they should consider getting help. Refusal to go to therapy or counselling as nothing could be wrong with them, must all be the other person
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 02:15 AM
2

Mine was exactly the same after, blames me for everything, no fault or responsibility on her end to manage her own physical and mental health, refused to go to therapy for obvious issues, refused to go to counselling, no accountability at all, where I was changing careers into a role which basically fails without accountability on oneself, so the rift grew large, I started getting healthier and she continued to go the other direction. Definitely feels like she's having a mid life crisis, or soci…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 02:01 AM
1

I think mine is mild as therapist doesn't see it impacting me too much, and I'm also under the impression the stbxw has a mild ADHD aswell, she was also diagnosed with a neurological disorder in end of 2023 and basically doesn't know how to process trauma (had a bad experience birthing our 2nd), so it's almost impossible to talk to her and communicate like an adult, she takes everything in the wrong way all the time and that's definitely contributing to me enjoying alot of peace post seperation …
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 11:25 PM
1

They genuinely have no loyalty, it sounds like U copped it much worse than I did. After our 2nd, mine basically checked out and all she did was go on her phone, even when I said family basically falling apart from lack of spending time together, all she could do was go on her phone, literally asked for 2 hours a day, and she couldn't give me that, if it wasn't that it was reading books and never being present. Was the beginning of the end for me, I know I checked out hard after seeing her just b…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 11:17 PM
1

Holy.hell mate I'm literally in exactly the same boat as you. Life got tough and warned her in advance that we were going to go through a tough period and it'll be worth it at the end (change in career area for me). I started seeing a therapist to make sure I'd manage the change over in a successful way. She bailed and jumped on her coworkers dick, probably started the motional affair before we the seperation was called and she's literally just a scumbag self centred bitch, we lived together for…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 09:49 AM
4

Fucking brutal. I've read somewhere about a study that showed cancer patients (both genders) tend to break up with their partners once they recover, if I ever find the source I'll try to link it. Something about the traumatic event and them wanting to not relive the memory of going through it. Sounds crazy running away from the person who supported them.througj their worst time, and not realising they will still have all.the memories themselves. human brains are really not great some times
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 04:42 AM
5

Not going to lie, I was getting told she loves me within like 3-4 months, and coming from a background of lack of confidence in myself, it certainly cast a spell over me. Same boat though, mines ex is either closet narcissistic or other mental health issues floating around, was always a battle to have anything I wanted in the relationship, it was always about her and she never admitted any fault to anything
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 04:33 AM
2

Same deal here, utterly sinister how cold and calculating they can be, and willingness to lie to the face is sociopathic
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 09:04 PM
4

accurate as fuck to my situation aswell
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 12:23 PM
2

Fuck are you me? Basically bailed when I was at my lows and she was making friends with a male co worker. Why are they all the same like this
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 09:00 AM
3

Unfunily, Dancing is the highest anti depressant there is. https://ibb.co/BKNp8W3 Followed by many forms of exercise. So dance, walk and lift heavy weights, no depressants such as alcohol,.cannabis or sedatives to help sleep either. Maybe caffeine n coffee for days your really struggling. I'm literally raw doggn life now atm and fuck me the emotional volatility is off the charts, up one day, down the next. Walking at least 5km helps, 8km even better, combine with gym and it's pretty good tempora…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 11:49 AM
1

My stbxw, her mother basically cheated on her father, then moved state with the kids, and she grew up without her real father. She actually used to call her dad sperm donor because her mother brainwashed her into thinking he abandoned them. But she talks to him now, after we seperated and takes his money to enrich herself and her position. And she had a step father, but was sexually assaulted by one of his family members when she was a teenager, so just a complete lack of good male role models. …
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 11:12 AM
4

I'm 37 this year and wife is 35 Youngest is 2 years old, she basically gave up putting in effort after the 2nd kid, gained 40 pounds, all.she did was sit around all day for 6 months on her phone being a vegetable Infront of til tok and Instagram, used to ask her for 2 hours between 5-7pm to be a family unit, wouldn't even give me that. I spent all my energy keeping the relationship alive, as soon as I started putting in as much energy as her, it was over within the year, with her calling for sep…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 06:23 AM
2

This definitely helped me change my views on it and close the wound a little. My wife is dead, she never made it out of hospital after giving birth to my 2nd son. the mother of my children is alive, she made it out, but two different people, I need to act around them differently, I need to grieve the wife who I lost and do my best to not confuse it with the person it is now, whoever is living in her physical body, it's not my wife, and I don't want to know them at all
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 04:16 AM
3

I'm in the same boat as you. My stbxw had a rough 2nd pregnancy, PTSD and post natal depression, no matter how much I begged her to go see someone for it, she refused, she clearly didn't want to see herself as weak and needing external help, she was always stubborn like that. That was Dec 2021. In Nov 2023, she had a dentist visit that triggered a neurological disorder, and she ended up going into hospital by Dec 23, she called for seperation from her hospital bed, said I didn't do enough for he…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 04:10 AM
2

I feel this hard, my stbxw moved out of the property last week, I managed to cry for the first time in 4 months after having to co-habitat with her after she pulled the divorce card on me, I tried in the first two months to get her to go to counselling with me but to no avail. so after she left, I finally cried, but for the part of her that obviously died years ago, and not the person who has been a cold distant C%^$ since the she called divorce. It felt freeing, it gave me over a week of anxiet…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 03:43 AM
1

https://ibb.co/z66cKs8
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/24 09:53 PM
1

I'm finding gym is good, walking in sunlight for st least 5km is good. But a study was done that shows the best thing,.and I shit you not....is dancing I'll try link the tweet
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/24 09:48 PM
3

There are plenty of horney underage women that do the same thing, including faking being older to get older guys interest. They are still victims though because they are children, their brains are developing and barely being used, put to the side whilst hormonal chemical flows rule. It's on reddit everywhere, both males and females, teenagers or young adults realising they have been manipulated by older people, but it takes them growing to that age to realise how dumb they actually are thinking …
/r/PussyPassDenied06/11/20 03:07 AM
2

Stabbed multiple times but no photos and some Impeccably creative story, I'm calling bullshit.
/r/MGTOW17/12/18 07:28 AM
8

Doesn't seem to be an issue when tables are flipped? French president macron and his senior citizen wife is a good example
/r/PussyPassDenied19/12/17 05:03 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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