~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 10 | If you have children, do you wish your Ex a “Happy Mother’s Day “ ?I don’t personally messsge her, however I make sure for all major holidays our son has sometning he can give her for her birthday, Mother’s Day, valentines, Easter and Christmas. That’s still his mom and he’s learning how to treat women based on how I treat her, so it’s less for her and more for him. I’m trying to raise a good little human. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/26 08:50 PM |
| 1 | Wife just filed the divorce, debt at $6k, wife and kid going to a different countryYa know she doesn’t have to come back right? And if she has another citizenship it’s shockingly easy for her to settle with the kids in another country completely out of the jurisdiction of the family court you’re in. So if you’d like to see your kids again you’d best start making some calls to get an emergency protection order in place or get used to seeing them a few times a year assuming she even stays in contact with you. You may be able to lose contact with your kids my dude, get in gear. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/04/26 12:52 PM |
| 2 | Anybody have to do an Alcohol Test?Go to your doctor and request a liver function test; that’ll tell you how your liver is doing and if you’ve already agreed to a follicle test that would either help prove you do not have a drinking problem, or help establish the fact that you do. No judgements, we all have our creature comforts. But yeah, if you agreed to the test you best behave otherwise you can have your kids taken from you. If you have not agreed to a test, discuss with your lawyer. Even if you’re a teetotaler giving your ex… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/26 11:53 AM |
| 1 | My ex won't let me see my children on a day I am off this week to spite me...If you don’t have a parenting plan or orders in place in writing etc…she’s under no obligation to do anything. If you don’t already have something in place, that’s something you need to address otherwise you’re quite literally subject to whatever she feels like doing. I filed initially because my ex was withholding our son because ‘we didn’t have anything in writing’ So, we got something in writing. Be mindful of what you agree to, as unless stated otherwise that’s the way it’ll be from that poi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/25 05:49 AM |
| 3 | DV allegations do they matter without kids?Yep they still matter. It’s still a way she can have you removed and barred from entering your home; in which she’ll be free to do as she pleases. If you haven’t already done so, talk to a lawyer to find out your state specific circumstances. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/25 04:19 AM |
| -4 | Mediation is over…Every situation is different but you literally had an agreement most men on here would cry tears of joy to get and you took a shit on it on your lawyers advice to try to get a bit more money. Again, had everything you wanted and went for a bit more money. Dude I’ve been on this journey for four years and this entire time all I’ve been trying to do is get to 50/50 etc…I’ve been doing this dance longer than I was married for. Watch the documentary ‘divorce corp’ on YouTube, you’re currently contri… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/25 09:56 PM |
| 5 | Has your view of women in relationships changed?There’s good and bad men and women. Unfortunately, my experience has mirrored that of a lot of other men; false threats of dv etc…. While I’m certainly open for a relationship again, I don’t know that I’ll ever fully trust a woman again after all this. I’ll definitely never live with a woman again as where I’m at defacto exists after 24 months but a claim can be made as early as 18 months. If this means a Tesla robot will be wiping my ass when I’m 90 so be it. Nope. 👎 I’ve managed to be self emp… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/25 01:31 AM |
| 1 | The Accusations are hard to understandWhy are you doing this to yourself? You only have one life to live, live it dammit. People die of cancer at 6 years old and this is how you’re choosing to live your one life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/03/25 12:05 AM |
| 4 | Wife Threatens Divorce if I Don’t Delete Pics of Scratches/ClawingAccept it’s over? You’re being physically and emotionally abused. You’re walking on the surface of the sun asking if you need sunscreen. Get legal counsel, give them everything you have and be completely honest with them; and listen to what they say. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/02/25 01:14 PM |
| 11 | What's the "Silver Bullet Method" in a divorce and should we be concerned about it?Jesus man get a lawyer you should be getting legal counsel on this. The ‘silver bullet’ is referring to how easily she can get you removed from the home, a protective order in place barring you from returning and seeing your kids, and keep this in place for an extended period of time all due to completely fabricated lies that the police do not require them to substantiate. In short, they can lie their ass off and claim you beat her without mercy and you did terrible things she can’t speak of to … | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/02/25 11:39 PM |
| 10 | Who else is enjoying holidays without family drama?My ex’s oldest dipshit, the one who’s golden child behavior and her inability to address it in any meaningful way….just ran a stop sign on his motorcycle, sped through it and collided with a car and flew over the top. Fractured his pelvis, he’ll be in the hospital for the next 6 weeks, with a bit of luck he was doing one of his drug runs and had his stash on him. She had a cruise booked for her and the other kids, dipshit wasn’t going anyways and she’s now canceled their summer vacation; I’m sur… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/24 10:41 AM |
| 3 | Rational?Mediation is generally the first step, and it’s possible you could achieve a positive outcome; do your best to stay out of family court. But either way you need a lawyer ASAP as they should be present(where I live) for mediation or at the very least advising you and it’s in two weeks. Best of luck in closing out this chapter | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/24 02:18 PM |
| 1 | Rational?If you don’t already have one, you need a custody/parental agreement in place. Then, you have your time and she has her time and she can’t dictate to you when you can see your child. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/24 01:36 PM |
| 2 | Does abuse impact divorce settlements?Kinda rethinking bailing her out of jail after she assaulted you eh? That was an opportunity for you to get your ducks in a row while she was behind bars and instead like a good little boy you bailed her out the next day after she tried to bite your fingers off. Grow a pair and get this done, the courts are biased and that’s well known; get in touch with a lawyer and see what can he done. She’s not your friend, and you’re a fool if you offer her help in any way going forward and deviate from wha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/12/24 01:57 PM |
| 8 | How do you get the courage to leave when it's bad, but not that bad?One day you’re going to die permanently and you don’t know when that day will come. Might be six weeks, might be sixty years. Right now you’re dying a little every day, the answer is pretty obvious man. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/12/24 12:24 PM |
| 31 | How do women keep guys in bad marriagesIn counseling the theme was, ‘I couldn’t do anything right and was always criticized etc…’ literally the next goddamn day she runs downstairs before work to tell me I’m hanging the towels on the clothesline wrong. I had investment properties I was living off of and she always told me to just sell them and get a job. Three years later and we’re divorced, have custody agreement for son in place and all those rentals? Well I sold them all and bought a motel that tripled my income And networth. Stil… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/12/24 10:12 PM |
| 5 | Wife just moved out and most of our circle don't know the real reasonSage words; She’s abandoned the marital home and left you as the primary caregiver of your children and she’s the breadwinner. Call a lawyer immediately. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/11/24 09:51 PM |
| 2 | Theme songs at the beginning and acceptance stages of your divorce.Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. Closing Time - Semisonic That one got me through some hard nights. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/24 04:22 AM |
| 12 | I filed for divorce and STXW had me arrested for a staged DV simple assault.Best thing we can tell you here is to speak to a lawyer asap, yes; this is a thing and yes it’s now pretty much par for the course. Your lawyer will not be surprised in the slightest. Yes, you should absolutely be recording every interaction you have with her based on your lawyer’s advice. This is likely your only shield against a false dv claim. There’s a reason this is happening, and it’s insidious. So keep calm and take a breath, things are going to get bumpy before they get better, but they … | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 10:41 PM |
| 14 | I think my ex is recording our conversationsDude, zip it! Always assume you’re being recorded, and for your protection you should also be recording. Welcome to divorce, best of luck | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/09/24 01:29 PM |
| 5 | When do I stop giving a shit?If you don’t have kids the answer is right now. If you do have kids then try your best to be amicable with her, then when they’re 18 answer any questions they have. My ex threatened me with false DV charges to get me to leave and then attempted to ensure I had limited/supervised custody of our son. Now we have 50/50, he won’t hear me say anything negative about her but when he turns 18 he’s going to have lots of questions and he’ll be old enough to hear the answers then. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/03/24 08:57 AM |
| 1 | Alcoholic wife has filed temporary restraining orderLawyer up immediately, request a liver function test that can determine alcohol abuse. Don’t settle for anything less than 50:50 custody split as if it’s as bad as you say it’s likely they’ll want to live with you when they’re older. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/24 11:15 AM |
| 12 | Did you sleep with your x-wife after the divorce?You couldn’t pay me to get back on that ride. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/24 06:58 AM |
| 5 | 50/50 child supportReading these posts makes me so thankful I got the outcome I did. Damn guys, I feel for you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/24 04:41 AM |
| 7 | If I agree to terrible alimony can I get it changed later or ignore her completely ?Dude, if you’re making what you say you’re making hire the best reviewed attorney in your state, notice I didn’t say most expensive. Attorneys can charge whatever they want, you want someone that gets results. And no, short of leaving the country you ain’t getting out of that so DON’T sign anything yet. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/24 10:17 PM |
| 1 | How do you survive financially even with a prenup?I had a binding financial agreement, that’s an Australian nuptial agreement that you sign after you’re married so it’s very, very solid. So, I had one of those in place, along with all my assets being in my home country. Thanks to those factors I managed to keep ALL my shit, my investments and recourse and we now have an equal custody agreement and she didn’t get a dime out of me and isn’t receiving child support. She was beyond inconsolable when she realized she wasn’t going to get the big payd… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/24 09:04 AM |
| 3 | Therapist said something that truly struck home todayThe minute she threatened me with false DV charges, as an immigrant in her country. If she’d of followed through with that threat I would have immediately been relegated to supervised visitation with our son and the chances of me ever becoming a citizen would’ve dropped dramatically. This is after I moved 15k miles to be with her, and her three kids. All the love I had for her evaporated in that moment when I realised how she could transition from being my wife to essentially trying to hold me h… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/02/24 09:04 PM |
| 13 | Mother Shall Have Final decision making on all major decisions.You are going to get fucked if you sign that. What the hell is your lawyer saying about this? YES it essentially gives her complete control. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/02/24 12:24 PM |
| 1 | You should be grateful your child sees another man as a dad/father-figureI’m a martial arts instructor and can teach multiple styles. Weapons, striking and grappling. My child isn’t going to be bullied or anyone’s victim. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/02/24 09:02 AM |
| 10 | Why isn’t this more well known?Check out Aaron Clarey’s books. He’s got everything covered from how to get your finances in order to the book of numbers which goes into painstaking detail about how abysmally low the number of women that are marriage material are and how unlikely you are to find that unicorn. He recently released a new book a world without men focused on what men contribute to the economy vs women, I found it very interesting. In short; when women say they don’t need no man, yes actually they do if they’d like… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/02/24 09:55 PM |
| 1 | Upcoming mediation advice? Court ordered child access, assets (Australia, WA)Fight for equal custody of your kids Put a clause in that she is not to sign kids up for any activities that infringe on your time and vice versa 50/50 for child related expenses She can’t move more than xyz distance or time from where you’re currently residing All communication is to be conducted via a parenting app Suggesting a parental coordinator Those are just the tip man, you really need to have this convo with your lawyer. My divorce was finalised in Brisbane in 2022 just completed 2nd ro… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/02/24 11:39 AM |
| 2 | Advice: What would the best course of action be?When you buy your place in Texas try to buy a 2-4 unit dwelling and then you can get rental income and if it’s a 3-4 unit you should almost be able to live for free. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/02/24 09:22 AM |
| 3 | opinions ongoing divorce.Get everything you’re entitled to by law. Which should be half the equity of the marital home. Do not settle for less than what you are owed. You will not be friends after this regardless, so who cares. Then, enjoy your new life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/02/24 07:21 AM |
| 9 | Would you do 10 year or 17 year alimony?I would fucking leave the county and work remotely before I agreed to that. Assuming you don’t have kids under the age of 18, why would you agree to financial indentured servitude for 10 or 17 years? | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/02/24 09:03 AM |
| 17 | Single Divorced Men, how are you dealing with the void on Valentine's day?I trained for three hours in martial arts. Two hours in weapons and one in submission wrestling and I was pretty tired after that. Came home, got some Uber eats and feel asleep on the couch watching Better Call Saul. Overall a fantastic Valentine’s Day. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/02/24 07:51 AM |
| 2 | Divorce is done, lesson learned. Moving forward, how do I protect myself such a house, cars, assets in the future?A binding financial agreement in Australia is a post nuptial agreement, meaning it’s intractable as you’ve signed it after you’ve already declared everything and more importantly after you said I do. As in, it serves as a pre-existing property settlement should the event of a divorce take place, and unlike a pre nup it does not need to be updated regularly once it’s done it’s binding forever more. It applies to, and protects both parties. Every area is going to be different, but I’m a millionair… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/02/24 03:04 AM |
| 5 | Divorce is done, lesson learned. Moving forward, how do I protect myself such a house, cars, assets in the future?A rich lesbian friend. She has the same amount of assets I do, a bit more actually but she’s also been burned by having to give a woman she lived with for 6 years a million dollars. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/02/24 12:03 AM |
| 7 | Divorce is done, lesson learned. Moving forward, how do I protect myself such a house, cars, assets in the future?No, the answer is do not live in such a way as the state views you as married, at least conventionally. Full stop. I’m actually talking to a lesbian friend of mine who has roughly the same seven figure asset pool as I do and we’re discussing getting married for asset protection with a nuptial agreement protecting both of our ends. You can only legally be married once, and we live in a common law/defacto area and she is going to have to give her ex girlfriend a million dollars. Find an alternativ… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/02/24 11:06 PM |
| 1 | Successful Divorced Men; Tips and Tricks, share your secretsI managed a gym chain and sold the most PT out of the entire company, so that came with a few perks along with money. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/24 03:31 PM |
| 3 | Successful Divorced Men; Tips and Tricks, share your secretsSure, dropped out of college and got a sales job I excelled at and bought a 4 bedroom house at 23 and rented the spare rooms out, and that coveted the mortgage so I could save almost all my wages to put towards the next investment property and after three single family homes started buying duplexes. Took me 9 years to get 11 doors. As for the academy, i saw someone walking around a shopping center with an inosanto academy shirt on and then I googled and found that there was an academy ten minute… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/24 02:35 PM |
| 9 | Does it ever get better or civil?Google grayrock and practice that. My ex can say anything she wants to me and she will not illicit any emotional response. Anytime we’re around each other my phone is recording the interaction due to her threats to make false dv claims. Frankly, outside of a medical emergency involving our son I don’t give a fuck about her. Will I tolerate being around her for the sake of our son as far as school functions and what not go, sure. But outside of that she can get fucked; she’s attempted to portray … | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/24 11:00 AM |
| 5 | Successful Divorced Men; Tips and Tricks, share your secretsThere will be a period of mourning and grief as you lament at the life that you thought you’d live. Then, one day you’re going to wake up and hopefully see that you’ve got got one life to live and you damn well better make it count. Chips down? Focus on the small positives, did you eat today? That’s better than some people in this world. Sometimes it can get bad and you just have to focus on the little things, did you get to enjoy time with your kids, even if it was just for the day? Different s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/24 10:39 AM |
| 11 | Wife and lover not working outNo. And stop giving a shit about what she does because you can’t control it and as long as your kids are safe there’s nothing you can do about it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/24 08:53 PM |
| 4 | Record everythingAye, three years ago my ex wife made the threat to call the cops and make a false dv claim. I filed shortly thereafter. Been recording every interaction between us since then. Have over 900 now, all time stamped and dated, and yes we live in a one party consent state. I dare her to try to say something, as I’ll sue her ass for slander. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/24 06:10 AM |
| 10 | I'm so jealous of other people's healthy relationshipsIt was a bad chapter of your life that is now closed. Be thankful you did not own assets or have children with this woman. Go out and meet people, it ain’t easy buts also not as hard as you might think. Join a group of sorts, the martial arts academy I was going to ended up being a life saver for me and now I teach there as well; I’ve made heaps of friends from all walks of life as well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/02/24 10:28 AM |
| 7 | Do woman give back rings after filing for divorce?She probably pawned it. Honestly don’t give two shits. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/24 03:21 AM |
| 7 | What do you do for fun.Got back into martial arts, now I teach them as well. Was always in the gym already, enjoy video games, reading/audiobooks etc…also working on growing my business. Volunteering at my kids school so I can be involved in that part of his life as well. Diablo 4 is sucking up a lot of my time. After this experience I’m absolutely never getting married or even living with a woman again, and at this point I’m not even remotely interested in dating. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/24 10:40 AM |
| 1 | It gets better...... right???Yes, it gets better | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/02/24 03:09 PM |
| 3 | Is there an advantage to filling first?Yes, heaps of reasons. But, also to an extent you get to control the narrative. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/02/24 07:23 AM |
| 10 | What do you miss most? (serious)The only thing I miss is seeing my son every day. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/02/24 02:42 AM |
| 4 | I can’t do this anymoreShe made the threat, and I immediately left. Since then I’ve recorded literally every interaction we’ve had where we were alone since then, I have her screaming at me, cursing etc… Before our first mediation session I intentionally let mutual friends know that I knew would get back to her. So she doesn’t know what I have recorded, she’s under the belief I have the original threat recorded. We live in an area that’s legal to record where one party consents. So, as far as she’s aware I’ve got all … | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/02/24 11:39 AM |
| 8 | I feel broken from the inside. Took my anger on my kids.This situation sucks. Do not take this out on your kids though. It’s not them doing this, they are not responsible for what’s happening. Today you denied them a hug, and they’ve attempted to interact with you. You’re the only Father they have. Do yourself a favor and don’t let this become a pattern because kids grow up fast and if they start to believe you’re blaming them or harboring resentment towards them they very well may not want to be a part of your life in the future. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/02/24 11:14 AM |
| 6 | I can’t do this anymoreOk well she said she was scared of you… Read through the litany of posts on this sub about men that heard those same words and the horrors that followed. I was threatened with false dv charges and that got me to wake the fuck up that I was in the danger zone. You’ve only got one life to live mate, best make the most of it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/02/24 09:16 AM |
| 2 | Australian rental crisis / property divisionNope, had a binding financial agreement drafted after we were married. She didn’t get shit which is part of the reason I feel she’s so salty, this is her 3rd divorce and she’s gotten money out of all the other poor SOB’s. Each mediation is 4k for my lawyer and 2.5k for mediator. For third round I agreed to pay for her share of mediation so it’ll be 4k for my lawyer and 5k for mediator, which will also include a child psychologist. For context the reason I was willing to pay for 3rd round is was … | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/01/24 08:07 PM |
| 1 | Australian rental crisis / property divisionJust completed my 2nd round of mediation. 3rd round set for 1st quarter next year because my ex is unhinged and perhaps the most disagreeable person in the world. Halfway through she turned on the mediator and sequestered herself into a separate room and would only talk to her lawyer who would then speak with the mediator/child psychologist in a separate room. If you’re in the Brisbane area I can refer you to my lawyer/mediator. They’re all miracle workers, and finally 3 years after this shit sh… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/01/24 01:16 PM |
| 5 | How did you stay so calm!I stayed calm because if I gave her anything I to work with she would’ve absolutely used it against me. For the last two years anytime it’s just she and I have a recorder going as she’s already made the threat of making false DV claims and should she that’s one of the few shields I’d have. All of this, to just try and be the best Dad I can be. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/01/24 06:53 AM |
| 1 | Stopped our divorce, 3 months later my wife changed again.Your kids will suffer more under the current circumstances. At least try to give them a decent life when they’re in your care and down the line when they’re of the age of consent they can choose to live with you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/01/24 12:39 AM |
| 5 | I'm the bad guyGet 50/50 custody of your kid, and try to keep a civil relationship with her for his sake. Her problems aren’t your problems anymore. Just completed my 2nd round of mediation and finally got the 50/50 custody she ‘swore’ I would never get. She could not have been more toxic, even the mediator and child psychologist said they’d never had a client turn on the mediator before, and her own lawyer told the mediator she was ‘no longer listening’. But, do what you gotta do. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/01/24 07:24 AM |
| 11 | Dating post divorceThe dating world today is like a giant dumpster fire thanks to the apps, social media and onlyfans. Just try to have some fun. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/01/24 09:41 PM |
| 1 | STBXW drinks and drivesWell, my ex tried to lay the claim that I was a raging alcoholic along with being Satan incarnate. I had blood tests to prove otherwise. It’s possible you may be able to request a liver function test from your ex(it’s a simple blood test) and that does carry water when it comes to excessive alcohol consumption. In my parental agreement there’s a clause that neither of us should consume alcohol beyond the legal limit so as to be able to drive in an emergency etc… My understanding is that’s a very… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/01/24 09:40 PM |
| 2 | STBXW drinks and drivesOk. Reread what you just wrote out. Then imagine a year from now your ex wife gets sauced up and drives with the kids and is responsible for an accident in which no one survives. If that occurred, are you going to wish you’d done anything differently? She has a history of drunk driving with your children in the car, how this is not a hill you’re willing to die on is beyond me, but we all have to live our own lives. Get the lawyers perspective on this, if there’s a history of alcohol abuse on her… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/01/24 01:48 PM |
| 1 | Using AI to edit emailsIt’s painfully obvious my ex is doing the this. It’s very obvious when she transitioned to using AI to write her emails. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/24 01:41 PM |
| 3 | I'm terrified.Dude, hit the eject button this is not going to get better and only far worse. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/24 05:05 AM |
| 4 | Taking the plungeWatch divorce corp on YouTube. Get out while you can | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/12/23 10:25 AM |
| 10 | Is this a DV?Yes. Don’t touch the other party, full stop. Don’t give them anything to use. Having a video of you dragging them back into the house while they’re shouting help help is definitely going to come up and it’s definitely going to have an impact. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/12/23 08:05 PM |
| 1 | Those that were domestically violent, how did you change?Well, for one count your lucky stars she hasn’t pulled the eject button. It would be a most unpleasant experience for you. There’s a lot of guys that did not commit abuse of any sort and were falsely threatened/accused of it, myself Included. If you’re sincere about improving yourself there’s support and assistance groups for literally everything, anger management, AA and everything in between. If you’re angry, if you’re violent, if you’re using some sort of substances, there’s programs and supp… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/12/23 01:44 PM |
| 4 | Wife wants me to move out for the month of January, anything I should be concerned about from a legal perspective?Ok, do yourself a favor and speak to a family law specialist asap. Then listen to what they say. They’re most likely going to advocate for you to get a TRO or to file for divorce yourself. At this point you just need to keep your kid safe and not worry about ‘fixing’ your dumpster fire of a marriage. But NO, don’t move out of your house, even if there is no scheme(which it seems likely there is) why the hell would you voluntarily leave your home when your SO has a clear and proven history of abu… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/12/23 11:50 AM |
| 7 | Sexual FrustrationDepending on how long you’ve been out of the game, you’re going to come to the realization that not only has it changed, it’s not even remotely the same anymore. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/12/23 04:14 AM |
| 7 | Dogs in DivorceI realize this is going to be difficult to hear, But just be thankful you don’t have children with this woman. Talk to your lawyer about it, the dog you adopted prior to your marriage will most likely be ‘your’ dog and the dog that was adopted while you were together with be ‘communal’ property in which she’s entitled to half. Don’t let it get nasty and vicious though as you obviously care for the dogs, while she may not care as much as you or is simply doing this to hurt you. Once the dog is in… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/23 01:56 AM |
| 10 | Don't let your hate towards your ex wife turn into hatred of womenSome of my very dearest friends are women, I certainly don’t hate them. Marrying one? Now that’s never happening again. I got out lucky, but after reading through the litany of horror stories out there; why on Earth would you do that to yourself, again? | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/23 10:12 PM |
| 2 | My Ex Had Me KidnappedI’m sorry for what you went through, but glad you have the evidence you do. Get your pound of flesh from the counselor, for her to abuse her power like that makes you wonder that it’s not the first time she’s done this, hopefully she never practices again. Tell your story, and tell it loud; so that others may be warned. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/23 03:09 AM |
| 5 | My ex-wife is refusing to let me pick up my son. there is also a TPO against me. What do I need to do?Stop asking for advice here and talk to your lawyer asap. If there’s not a parental agreement in place, that’s your first step. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/12/23 05:44 AM |
| 5 | Wife trying to come back after leaving me for affair partnerYou will never be able to forget and forgive this; she moved out to bang an ex man; so she’s clearly had that thought in the back of her mind. She’s shown her cards, and when her affair partner didn’t work out she’s seeking the safe option again. Let her go have her fun with someone else, and deal with the consequences of her choices. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/23 10:11 PM |
| 0 | How to improve the family court system?Watch divorce corp on YouTube and then see how your opinion changes. Family court is insane, the lawyers can back the judges in their election which virtually guarantees a favorable outcome for them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/12/23 04:49 PM |
| 4 | Is getting married even worth it?Watch the documentary Divorce corp It’s free on YouTube. Then ask yourself if you think it’s worth it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/12/23 06:04 AM |
| 3 | How do you handle your ex wife smearing your name around town?You just don’t give a shit 🤷🏻♂️ My ex essentially said I was Satan and performed every type of abuse imaginable; has maintained a very hostile relationship with me as far as co-parenting etc… …and I don’t give a shit. If people ask, I share my side, if they don’t then I don’t. What they do see is me being a loving and supportive Father to my son. That in and of itself has made several other parents ask me what happened and when I share my side they’re gobsmacked. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/12/23 05:15 AM |
| 2 | Looks like divorce is comingGoogle grey rock and follow that method while obtaining legal advice. Do not raise your voice, do not swear etc… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/12/23 11:23 AM |
| 1 | Dark reality of divorce for men todayI continued to acquire investment property during the marriage and it was all insulated. Mine was based off my real estate business before hand and acknowledged that I would continue etc… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/23 10:03 AM |
| 15 | Men who initiated the process (not due to infidelity reasonings), when did you know it was time, and why did you initiate?Around the time she told me to get the fuck out or she’d call the police and make a false dv claim. She screamed this in front of her 10 year old son, twice. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/11/23 10:25 PM |
| 2 | Dark reality of divorce for men todayA few thousand, each of us had our own legal representation etc…. Terms will vary wildly based on your conditions. I had significantly more assets than she did etc.., | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/23 03:56 PM |
| 1 | Don’t get caught slippin. Understand your cohabitation laws before letting that new girlfriend move in.Yeah, if you live in a common law marriage area…don’t cohabitate. You’re playing with fire if you’ve got any sort of assets. If you’re dense enough to actually say ‘I do’ again after you’ve been through divorce you get what you get, but that’s a conscious decision. The government shouldn’t get to make that decision for you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/23 12:15 PM |
| 2 | What does online dating look like for you?So, now I’m curious. Do you rely mostly on the guy to plan/pay for the dates/activities or exclusively on the guy to plan dates/activities along with covering costs for said activities? In another comment you mentioned getting 30 matches a day, do you actually take an interest and the initiative and plan a date if you’re interested? Or is it all up to the guy? You gave an honest answer from your perspective, so I’m genuinely curious. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/23 02:43 PM |
| 10 | What does online dating look like for you?The reality is that women are absolutely spoiled for choice, even an average looking woman has so many likes she doesn’t know what to do with. So, unless you’re exceptionally good at online conversation, are rich, are an absolute stud etc…you’re just one of many, many options she has available. There’s been articles about women that literally ate every meal for free for years just because they lined up a ‘breakfast date’ following by a dinner date etc… It’s a jungle out there. I think the ‘avera… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/23 01:34 PM |
| 1 | I think my ex has recordings. Help!Dude, google gray rock. That’s how you should be handling everything with this person. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/11/23 02:39 AM |
| -1 | I will never let my kids call my wife's AP "step-dad."All you can do is a be a great dad. That and maybe a bit extra. Since my divorce I’ve continued to expand my Business, obtained dual citizenship, become a martial arts instructor(specifically a weapons based art known for knife fighting), joined some fraternal organisations etc… So inevitably when my son meets my ex’s new guy; good fucking luck 😂 I’d love to see his face when he tells him his dad is a knife fighting instructor etc… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/11/23 12:52 AM |
| 6 | Divorce is now on the tableHer lawyer is following the standard playbook; make false allegations, get you out of the house then file restraining order barring you from house and your children. There is nothing to be saved, she’s actively trying to ruin your life now. As for your ‘friends’ that she’s went to behind your back? They’re dead to you now. She’s skipped over being amicable about anything and pressed the nuclear button. Listen to your lawyer, let them do the work and in the meantime do not attempt to contact her … | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/11/23 03:29 AM |
| 15 | Am I overthinking the consequences of getting married?Watch divorce corp on YouTube. If that doesn’t scare the absolute shit out of you then nothing will. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/11/23 02:14 AM |
| 2 | Dark reality of divorce for men todayIt’s technically called a binding financial agreement here in Australia. And yep, If you happen to live in Australia you should get one even if you only have a long term partner. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/11/23 10:49 PM |
| 5 | Dark reality of divorce for men todayI went in with rose colored glasses and Thank christ it was a short marriage and I had a prenup. Never again will I live in such a way as the state views me as married. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/11/23 09:57 AM |
| 9 | When is the marriage over?You have one life to live. Make it count. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/11/23 01:46 PM |
| 1 | Help - Angry and frustrated with New GF whilst separated.Advice? Get off online dating and just focus on yourself, what makes you happy, healthy and fulfilled. Then, once you’ve got that dialed in, then you can worry about dating. You’ve got to be content with at least being by yourself. Also, OLD is a jungle in general, which it doesn’t sound like you’re at all ready for. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/11/23 10:44 AM |
| 10 | What is divorce like at first?I mean, for a lot of us the person we thought we were going to wake up to each morning for the rest of our life is either actively trying to ruin or life now or has already done so. So, in short buckle the fuck up buckaroo it’s gonna be a hell of a ride. I had a financial agreement in place etc…so she didn’t actually get to ruin me but that certainly didn’t stop her from trying. During mediation she made me out to be Satan, fortunately for me I actually had evidence to prove otherwise. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/23 09:23 AM |
| 6 | Divorce Realization: Housework is really not that much 'work'Nope, with modern appliances and conveniences things have really changed. Now, a hundred years ago when you had to cook everything from scratch and clean everything by hand it was a totally different story. Interestingly enough, in his book Dr Warren Farrow talks about how women’s life expectancy began to rise rapidly…about a hundred years ago when the difficult of domestic ‘labor’ became significantly easier with the invention of things like…an oven, a vacuum cleaner, a dishwasher, refrigerator… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/10/23 09:20 PM |
| 3 | Ideal kids’ age for parents to get divorcedThe earlier the better. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/10/23 11:53 PM |
| 2 | Postnuptial AgreementsFor a post nup to be binding in my area both individuals must be independent legal counsel, disclose assets/liabilities etc…and terms are drafted. Then each lawyer reviews it with their client and the lawyer signs it, along with the individual; so there’s four signatures on it total and then it’s binding. Think it cost me around 3-5k AUD, and yes it totally saved my ass. Without it she would’ve gone for blood, she did try to get it overturned but seeing as how we were only married for 4 years th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/10/23 03:55 AM |
| 6 | Separated about to reconcile but wife has told me she slept with someoneYes you do. If you reconcile with her, you’re always going to be thinking about ‘the guy’, there’s 4 billion other women out there man. Check out ‘the book of numbers’ by Aaron clarey. He had an actuary run a study, essentially 2.4% of western women are marriage material. Let that sink in. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/10/23 10:50 PM |
| 1 | Is anyone else thinking about deliberately staying single as a life decision?Where I’m at common law/de facto is a thing so no cohabitation for me. I’m not opposed to being in a relationship again, but it’ll be on the pretext that we’re definitely not living together nor are we ever co-mingling our finances. Also I’ve got a kid, so realistically I’m not opposed to dating a single mother, however I learned my lesson the first time; I’m responsible for my kid; you’re responsible for your kid. I will never attempt to co-parent another persons children ever again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/10/23 11:27 PM |
| 3 | [RI] Custody after false DV accusations - would like to hear how others handled this and the outcome.They do it because it works. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/10/23 05:00 AM |
| 1 | Female judgesIf you’re going before a family court judge it’s already a toss up. Family court does not require a jury of your peers to weigh in and then a judge sentences; the judge is in total control and that’s incredibly fucked. The doco divorce corp’ does a marvellous job showcasing how broken the family court system is, and how it won’t be fixed because everyone in the divorce process is absolutely raking it in. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/23 10:52 PM |
| 0 | I need help badly. I don't think anyone is facing what I am facing.Wow, seems like nothing is off the table. She’s actively trying to ruin you, with your hospital situation it’s possible she had a hand in that, and she’s certainly committed criminal acts, the least of which is fraud to do what you’ve described. I don’t normally suggest scorched earth but damn man, it’s possible she tried to kill you and she’s definitely trying to ruin you. As far as criminal activity, if you’re low on funds call every ambulance chasing lawyer you can find that will work on a co… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/23 03:32 AM |
| 11 | Even Celebrity Men Get ScrewedMarriage in general is a bad idea, if you make a significant amount of money or have the same in assets it’s a terrible idea | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/23 10:26 PM |
| 5 | Fed up with divorce threatsGo talk to a lawyer and tell them what you’ve just wrote out here. The writing is literally on the wall and it sounds like she’s already spoken to a lawyer, she’s recording you, she’s open to making false allegations…. Don’t be a statistic dude. She makes a false allegation against you, you’re in for a hell of a time and she can and will isolate your kids from you and get a protection order out against you. You can and will be removed from the home, and be ordered to continue to contribute to ma… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/10/23 04:24 AM |
| 2 | I have enough to sue...My ex tried her absolute best to fuck me over in every way, but we had a nuptial agreement 🤷🏻♂️ Divorce makes people do silly things, but if you’re entitled to something you should certainly get it. Be the best dad you can be and don’t talk negatively about her in front of your kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/09/23 10:46 PM |
| 1 | I have enough to sue...You get what you’re legally entitled to. If the shoe was on the other foot there would be no debate. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/09/23 10:31 PM |
| 2 | There is another life on the other side.There’s a fantastic life on the other side. Good for you | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/09/23 02:57 AM |
| 4 | Does your ex refuse to see reality, understand what she did?Uh yeah I was forced to leave under threat of a false dv claim being made against me; and then the narrative turned into ‘i just left’ 🤷🏻♂️ Welcome to the club | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/09/23 03:01 AM |
| 13 | Why don't fathers tell sons not to get married?I’m going to be very clear to my son that he’s putting his head on a chopping block and giving his partner the axe if he gets married. He’s going to get a solid education in how fucked up inviting the state into your relationship is. But at the end of the day he can do what he wants to do. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/23 03:04 PM |
| 1 | Divorce from the perspective of first born son [m16]Make a decision, either you’re open to 50:50 time with each parent or you’re not. You say you and your Dad had a rough patch but now over the last three years you guys have a great relationship. What do you want? This situation sounds absolutely toxic with your mom, let her know that the way she’s choosing to conduct herself now is going to have an impact on your future relationship with her and that you don’t appreciate being put in the middle of this. Again, make a decision man, it sounds like… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/23 12:33 PM |
| 9 | What is wrong with the "System"There’s nothing broken with the system, it’s working exactly at it was intended. Check out ‘divorce corp’ on YouTube. That should be required viewing for anyone wanting to walk down the isle | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/09/23 09:59 PM |
| 1 | Ozempic, weight loss and divorceYeah, this is a lifestyle issue. You’re literally setting money on fire. If your wife keeps the same exercise and dietary habits, the weight she loses will absolutely come back after the injections stop. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/23 09:38 PM |
| 7 | My ex wife ain’t shitThis is a moment in time and it’ll pass. Just focus on being the best dad you can. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/23 02:23 AM |
| 3 | Is a self-described hoe phase any reason to be concerned?Before you consider any sort of relationship you need to double check to ensure your state isn’t a common law marriage/de facto area. If it is, then eventually your gf(way down the line) can and will have access to your shit. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/23 01:42 AM |
| 1 | Post-divorce intimacy: paid vs non-paid!I’m originally from the US, now in Australia. Sex work is legal here, I haven’t partaken in the ‘wares’ as it were but if it’s legal then it’s just the matter of a simple exchange of money and time from two consenting adults. I had a lot of fun on the apps post divorce but, as a self employed guy with a young son I found it hard to connect with a lot of women; especially when i made it clear marriage/more kids and cohabitation is off the table. Common law marriage is a thing here, which is silly… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/09/23 03:58 AM |
| 16 | My wife wants to sit down and talk.Dude, 3 months? Get an annulment if possible, if not just get a divorce. Holy shitballs | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/23 10:13 AM |
| -1 | Want a divorce from wife who hangs money over my headGo get dat money yo If the shoe was on the other foot it would be socially acceptable to go after your ‘fair’ share; so go get it. Don’t be the ‘nice’ guy and accept anything less than what you’re legally entitled to; as if it was reversed you’d be damned sure she would get her pound of flesh. She loved throwing her and her families wealth in your face, good she can share then. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/09/23 01:30 AM |
| 1 | Hello everyone I'm new hereWelcome to the club. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/08/23 11:03 AM |
| 1 | Raising Over-billing to LawyerI’m in Australia and had my divorce here and all my assets/income are in USA. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/08/23 03:11 PM |
| 11 | Can someone explain to me the downsides of getting married and immediately following that up with legal separation? What exactly does it protect?…any marriage is a terrible idea. Period. If you want to protect your assets, contact an asset protection attorney and let them do their magic of using LLC’s and trusts to keep everything locked up. There’s a wide variety of options out there. If you want to have kids have kids, there’s a chance you may seperate and will owe child support, that’s rolling the dice. But there’s absolutely no reason any sane man would want to get married in the climate were living in today. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/08/23 02:38 PM |
| 1 | Raising Over-billing to LawyerWe never comingled finances in any way, co-owned anything etc… Dunno whether it was the nuptial agreement, or that all assets/income were in another country but I know I’m happy with the outcome 😂 I know what saved my ass from child support was I have zero income in the country we live now, when in file taxes here it’s effectively $0 a year in income. And thanks! I’m looking forward to being happily divorced forever | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/08/23 02:24 PM |
| 2 | Raising Over-billing to LawyerMy wife’s lawyer ‘discovered’ I had no income in the country we live in that she could go after as all my investments and income are generated in a seperate country and legal jurisdiction 🕺 That was a good day. Also we had a nuptial agreement so she didn’t get shit either way. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/08/23 03:53 AM |
| 2 | How are you guys able to live alone?Gee let me count then ways, No one yells at me No one complains about their day to me, as in the same complaints every day, without fail. No one comes along behind me to critique anything/everything I’m doing to tell me how ‘wrong’ I am I always get to eat what I want, and tidy up I always get to listen to the music I want, watch what I want etc… I get to read or play videos games as often as I want Get to go to the gym every day, practice martial arts every day Get to join my own social organis… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/23 09:39 PM |
| 2 | PrenupAssuming you don’t live in an area where there’s common law marriage, if you want to live with someone; then do it. However, if you choose to live in a way that the state views you as married, in today’s day and you’re just asking to get raked over the coals. The game is rigged therefore the only way to win, is to not play. Check out the book of numbers by Aaron Clarey, he actually goes over ALL the numbers along with having an actuary verify and spoiler alert less than 2% of women are marriage … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/23 09:32 PM |
| 13 | PrenupThe only way to win the game is to not play dude. 🤷🏻♂️ | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/23 01:53 PM |
| 2 | So... how long does the seething hatred last?As long as you want it to. 🤷🏻♂️ If you’ve got kids it’s in everyone’s best interest if you can just be ‘civil’, however the best thing is to go out and live an incredibly fulfilling life. Least that’s what I’m doing 😂 | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/23 03:38 AM |
| 4 | What we all knew alreadyInviting spray paint huffing strippers over and huffing brake fluid? Little shit also pulled a knife on me once. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/23 11:10 PM |
| 16 | What we all knew alreadyI have all my assets in the USA, moved to Australia; signed their equivalent to a nuptial agreement known as a BFA. Wife let her kids get away with murder and we got into many fights and when I finally lost it and told her she was raising a monster(her oldest) she told me to get the fuck out or she was going to claim domestic violence. She thought she was going to get a big pay day as we had an ‘ours’ kid at this time, told me the BFA would be null and void, spoiler alert; it wasn’t. I initiated… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/23 11:01 PM |
| 13 | What we all knew alreadyAustralian checking in. Spot on You’re just leaving out the false DV charges and other claims of addiction/abuse as a means to alienate you from your children. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/23 10:30 PM |
| 3 | Cons vs Pros of Marriage as a ManScroll through this sub for…I dunno 30 minutes and I dare you to find a single positive for a man. There are zero positives to legally tethering yourself to a person that’s incentivised by the government to leave your ass and in doing so can take half your shit and possibly get paid for life because you used to have sex with them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/23 06:19 AM |
| 2 | Financial and mental preperation for future divorce.Talk to a lawyer like in the next 24 hours and ask him to unfuck your life. Warning signs two months in? The honey moon period is supposed to last a tad longer than that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/08/23 12:06 PM |
| 10 | Am I screwed for the rest of my life?Dude you can have a gf if you want, assuming you don’t live in a common law marriage area but WHY after reading this sub for a bit would you ever even entertain the idea of getting married? Yes, the game is rigged and family court absolutely rails 90% of guys. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/08/23 11:02 PM |
| 11 | Is it even worth staying?It’s a pretty steep curve if/when it does escalate, so you really wanna ride the ride that long? There’s plenty of people out that…won’t hit their partners. No one’s perfect 🤷🏻♂️ but there’s no reason to ‘settle’ for an abusive partner. Also the problem a man has is that their wife can bash them in the face with a glass bottle while they’re sleeping and the guy calls the cops and the cops show Up and the wife says she’s scared and was defending herself from you and…then you’re getting removed f… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/23 10:19 AM |
| 20 | Is it even worth staying?Yeah, no. Domestic violence is a deal breaker, as once it starts who knows where it’s going to end up? A slap at first, then a stab five years later? Also it’s a sign there’s much more significant issues in the relationship. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/23 09:30 AM |
| 3 | I’m here to make someone feel goodGo peddle your wares elsewhere. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/23 08:59 AM |
| 2 | Do I acknowledge her birthday?…because I have a young son she gets a gift for mother’s day, her birthday, and Christmas. I’m trying to raise a good little human, and part of this is respecting your mother, even if she was a c*nt to me. The irony is that her own oldest kid doesn’t get her shit, and he was a major catalyst for our divorce. She also gets a spicy baboon greeting card that Rick rolls her for 4 straight hours on each occasion. And she’ll get them every year until our son is 18. Then she can fuck off. I don’t get a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/23 07:25 AM |
| 2 | What would you have done differently?What would I do differently? Divorced her sooner. We had a binding financial agreement(Australian nuptial agreement) and should’ve divorced her after she showed a complete lack of ability to discipline her children(also wouldn’t date/marry a single mom, in retrospect it’s a terrible idea) along with threatening to revoke her sponsorship of my partner visa(yep, I moved to her home country for her) and get me deported while she was pregnant with our son. Instead we limped along for another two yea… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/08/23 05:12 AM |
| 9 | F*ck MediationI know it’s hard, but it sounds like you’re going to get 50/50 with your kids, which is a win for you. Just be the best dad you can be and get through this. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/08/23 11:26 PM |
| 1 | Advice after DVRO judgementYep, you’re playing for keeps. Watch ‘divorce corp’ on YouTube, it’ll be very eye opening. You need a lawyer that’s willing to do whatever it takes to get the job done inside the scope of the law. There are actual legitimate victims of domestic violence and as someone that was also threatened with a false DV charge I feel that anyone found guilty of falsifying those charges should be charged with whatever the applicable sentence would’ve been. This shit has got to stop, but it’s the standard ope… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/23 12:27 PM |
| 10 | My stbx called me a narcissist during our separationYeah, accusations of abuse and addiction being thrown around like beads at Mardi Gras is pretty much standard operation procedure. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/23 06:32 AM |
| 1 | Advice PleaseWell, lot to unpack here. I’m only going to comment on the ‘she’s threatening to send nudes to girls’ part, that’s called revenge porn and it’s illegal in most states now. A lawyer could easily make the argument if she said that she’d be willing to post it to a public forum and for others to access it. assuming the photos were taken with consent at the time, no lines were crossed there on your part. Get the divorce, take the standing 8 count and get back up. Also, maybe consider just staying off… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/08/23 02:01 AM |
| 14 | Just got back from dropping my kids off at my stbx place and I’m already bawling my eyes outYep, after every drop off you come home to…a very quiet place. All you can do is make the best of the time with your kids. Outside of them you need to find a new tribe. I was fortunate enough to find an excellent martial arts academy and now I’m learning striking, grappling and weapons training. Met a lot of new friends etc…it’s been good. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/08/23 12:48 AM |
| 2 | How Should I Handle Finances Through a Divorce Regarding my Ex Wife Having Full Financial Visibility?Don’t try to conceal anything. Discuss everything with your lawyer and they will advise accordingly. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/08/23 12:00 AM |
| 1 | now i see all women like evilThere’s a lot of monsters walking around disguised as humans, some are men and some are women. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/08/23 01:21 PM |
| 2 | Do you have a silver lining?Yep, I’m now able to be the dad I want to be, and she doesn’t get any input whatsoever in my life anymore. Being a dad is the absolute best thing to ever happen to me and I can’t wait to see my son everyday. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/23 01:30 AM |
| 1 | Would you marry again wo a prenup?Prenups aren’t bulletproof, look at Kevin Costner and brad Pitt. Also as circumstances change they need to be updated every 5 years or so, and if they’re not that increases the likelihood that they will be thrown out. I’ll never live in such a way as the state views me as married, which in my neck of the woods means no cohabitation as if you live together for two years you’re common law married. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/23 01:10 AM |
| 2 | maximizing time with kidsIt’s different everywhere, I’m in Australia. Unless there’s actually a charge of DV or something of the like in place the 1st step is mediation, which happens relatively quickly, if that doesn’t result in a parental agreement we would to then go before a judge. We had a binding financial agreement that already served as a property settlement so all there was to work out was the parental agreement. I was the stay at home parent as I’m self employed and she left the house each day to go to work. I… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/23 12:50 AM |
| 2 | maximizing time with kidsThere wasn’t a temporary plan, that’s what actually got me to file was her telling me, We don’t have anything in writing! I was trying to take our son to the zoo that day and she wasn’t having it. Said I couldn’t take him ‘because she said so’ So, she was served the next day. And each day then on until we had mediation I asked to see my son(she threatened a dv charge so I left the house) in writing; I know for a fact she was keeping a log book of the time I spent with him. So when we got to medi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/23 11:06 PM |
| 2 | Divorce initiators, do you regret it?Nope. The only regret I has is that I won’t see my kid as often as I’d like, still our time now is our time and I can be the dad I want to be. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/07/23 01:40 AM |
| 2 | Is there something in the water?The fear of missing out…on finding mr right? As in, rich, good looking, kind, did I mention rich, essentially the quintessential man. 🤷🏻♂️ Either that or her divorced friends, which by stats there should be plenty, or social media specifically tiktok and the gram. Take your pick. It also doesn’t help that women are financially incentivised by the government to untie the knot. Also, the modern woman isn’t your Grammy, she’s Been told she can have a career, kids and a husband….and if any of that … | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/07/23 11:09 PM |
| 3 | maximizing time with kidsOh yeah, 1st mediation was absolute Trench warfare. Once we got past all the shit she was trying to sling at me(that was about an hour or two) the rest of the eight hours was just spent on hashing out a schedule we could both live with until round 2, she did her absolute damndest for me not to get overnights etc…but I’ve got it in writing now, and I’ve got my overnights. Current schedule I’ve got him several days a week and one over night and ever other weekend overnight. One day during the week… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/07/23 06:31 AM |
| 3 | Theory: Putting your self in debt prior to divorce?Don’t cut your nose off to spite your face, and don’t do anything that could possibly be conveyed as less than legal. As if she tells an attorney this or that she thinks this is the case all her attorney is going to see is dollar signs. The deck is already stacked man, don’t make it worse. The time for asset protection is before you say I do. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/07/23 03:19 AM |
| 5 | Not sure if will ever be able to trust again...It’s been said that if you were going into business and your business partner came to you with a contract akin to marriage you’d either laugh in their face, or set it on fire. Watch the doco ‘divorce corp’ on YouTube, it really should be required viewing for anyone wanting to get married as there are some examples of women getting shafted but by and large it’s men that get absolute railed in family court, destroyed financially and alienated from their kids. All this buys the lawyers/private inve… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/07/23 10:12 PM |
| 1 | Married to incompetenceJesus man, leave her useless ass here and fly out with your kids and enjoy your time with your parents then file when you get back at the appropriate time after you speak to a lawyer. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/23 01:33 AM |
| 1 | Am I screwed financially?Dude, your kids are all in school why is she not doing something even just Uber. She’s no longer a stay at home mom when the kids are in school, time to go back to reality and start earning some money. As others have echoed here, why is divorce so expensive? Because it’s fucking worth it. Also, you can always make more money but you can never make more time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/23 09:26 AM |
| 3 | Let's be honest here. No macho answers, and no judgement. In reality, how many guys here would be happy to get validation from your ex that the divorce was not your fault?It would be nice, but it’ll never happen. I was her 3rd and the previous exes were all abusive alcoholics. 🤷🏻♂️ I’m sure she’ll tell the next guy the same about me as she attempted to during mediation but I shut that shit down. Now, I’m just gonna live my best life and be the best dad I can be, and I don’t have to give a flying fuck what she thinks anymore. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/07/23 01:57 AM |
| 1 | Did any of you start off as highly contested and then change to non-contested?Check out divorce corp on YouTube. That’s where you are now. The system is leeching both of you, and unfortunately she’s got a strong incentive to absolutely take it to the limit with you. If she’s ready to file and actually agrees to something you find satisfactory, tell her you’re both going to have less if you continue to pay for lawyers but that you’ll happily get it done now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/07/23 01:20 PM |
| 1 | Is it a mistake not hiring a lawyer?At the absolute minimum get a free consult with one and go over everything. But, yes in this day and are unless you are a unicorn situation(probably not) you’re going to be roasted over coals without legal representation. The problem is, she might be fine now; but once her BFF Becky and Sue and sandy get in her ear and tell her what she deserves she talks to a lawyer it’s all going to change real fast. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/23 10:57 PM |
| 13 | Single and boredBetter than married and fucking miserable 😂 Get a dog, cat, lizard, bird. Go buy a boat, learn how to draw, dance etc… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/23 01:35 PM |
| 2 | Did you ever get tempted to remarryI had substantial assets going into the marriage, she was aware of that and aware that I would not marry unless the document was signed. Still didn’t stop her from trying to have the agreement thrown out though; and she must’ve somehow forgot that due to my business dealings I’ve done thousands of contracts, and the devil is always in the details. She didn’t get shit from me and we split expenses for our son 50:50. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/23 12:43 PM |
| 1 | Did you ever get tempted to remarryYep, I’m never living in such a way as the state views me as married, ever again. In my area if you cohabitate for two years you’re defacto married. Which is absolutely bananas, if you want to get Married fine get married; why does the state get to make that decision for you? So, while im open to a long term monogamous relationship, we ain’t living together. I had a nuptial agreement so much to her chagrin she didn’t get to rail me, but she did her best. Never again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/23 08:08 AM |
| 1 | She wants to get a mediator. Settle this without getting messy with lawyers.Well, from my experience here goes… I’m a millionaire from property investing, got her to sign a nuptial agreement. Things were great until they weren’t and we got a divorce, we have one young child and she has 3 from a previous marriage. She didn’t get shit because of the nuptial agreement, she’s a little salty about that. FYI you’re not a fool, you made a decision based on the information you had and it seemed like a good idea at the time. Now, my suggestion is to fight for 50/50 custody if no… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/23 07:35 AM |
| 2 | Can I form an LLC before the divorce is final?Seriously, wait a month and have that piece of freedom Paper from the government and then file the LLC. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/23 07:06 AM |
| 2 | Ex-Wife stole $3K…what recourse do I have?My man…if you divorced 21 years ago, unless you still somehow have a child under the age of 18 why is she in your life at all? Unless there’s a legal reason to speak to her block her on all media platforms and devices and live your best life. I get the principle you’re talking about, but don’t let her live rent free in your head. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/23 05:50 AM |
| 3 | Did you ever get tempted to remarryWhy…would you want to invite the state back into your relationship status and finances? Just get a girlfriend, why the need the marry and then hand your balls over to her and let her have your head on a chopping block and hoping she doesn’t swing the axe? What benefits does a marriage have vs a long term monogamous relationship with a gf??? | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/23 01:47 AM |
| 2 | Ex-Wife stole $3K…what recourse do I have?3k would be small claims court. Honestly, unless you’re extremely hard up for money…is this worth pursuing? | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/23 01:44 AM |
| 1 | My ex has full control of my schedule and I have had enoughYour kids are only little once. Go for 50:50 as you’ll be able to make memories with them that will last a lifetime. Then, on your ‘free’ weekend you can go to Mexico or whatever. Children need a mom and a dad, the world we’re living in is rapidly changing and a positive male role model has never been more important in the weird ass times we’re living in. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/23 01:46 PM |
| 2 | Being held hostageCheck out divorce Corp on YouTube. This is right where you are. Now, once all this is done and in the rear view mirror, you’ll be glad it’s over. Just have to tough it out until then. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/23 10:30 AM |
| 8 | Come to the realization and its not goodYou’re in a bad place. On this journey we all have looked out at that sea of uncertainty. I’ll definitely never live in a way that’s viewed as ‘married’ in the states as ever again, which means no cohabiting for me. But all women aren’t bad/evil/ruin your life and laugh. But those kinda women certainly do exist. But to be fair, so do those kinda men. We’re a weird species. There is still some good in you, even if you have to look hard to find it. I know it can be comforting to numb yourself, but… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/23 08:39 AM |
| 1 | How long did you marriage last and how long did it take to heal completely?Australia. The country with the most expensive partner visa in the world to boot. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/07/23 03:59 AM |
| 7 | How long did you marriage last and how long did it take to heal completely?4 years. I’ll never be the same man I was when I said those vows. Vows I intended to honor until my then spouse threatened me with a false dv charge that would’ve gotten me deported(immigrated to her country and she was my sponsor) and essentially never allowed to see my son again. So, I don’t think any amount of therapy is gonna be able to button that up, or give me the ability to ever fully trust in a relationship again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/07/23 02:00 PM |
| 3 | OLD - "My ex was abusive" lineI heard this line before…7 years ago When I went on my first date with my now ex wife. Who would’ve thought that…even though she dated and married two abusive alcoholics before me; she would’ve done the same thing a 3rd time. Any woman that says that about their ex is automatically disqualified because it shows me that they make terrible Decisions and have zero accountability. It’s perfectly fine to say ‘we grew apart’ or, ‘it just wasn’t meant to be’ instead of…what you’re hearing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/07/23 09:38 PM |
| 3 | Experienced wife going batshit crazy?My divorce journey started with my ex wife Telling me to get the fuck out or she was going to call the police and make a false dv claim. I left the next day. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/07/23 11:31 AM |
| 27 | Do you now place great importance on a woman’s earning potential and ability to financially contribute to the relationship?Eh, I will never again marry, or live in such a way that the state views me as married. As for my ideal woman, I’m an entrepreneur with extreme flexibility in my schedule and can scale my income as desired, I would like to find the same or similar but that’s going to be a tough task. Granted, my divorce was only finalized in 2022 but at this moment, given how…unpleasant my previous situation became and how in my area if you cohabitate with a partner for two years you’re defacto married I don’t i… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/07/23 12:55 PM |
| 1 | Need urgent adviceUh…no do not confront her, unless you want a domestic violence charge, and to be totally fucked when it all actually goes down. There’s no reason to ‘tell her what you know’, the marriage is over this isn’t a point scoring contest where someone wins a prize for being right. Tell her you want a divorce plain and simple. Then, wait for the amount of time you have to, and file the paperwork. In my neck of the woods we had to be separated for 12 months before a divorce could be granted. It’s differe… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/07/23 10:50 AM |
| 11 | Should I delete her texts?Before you do anything….talk to a lawyer. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/07/23 06:28 AM |
| 1 | DivorceI’m also in Australia. My man, you need to get a parental agreement in place, you can do this while still waiting out the ‘12 month’ timeframe before you can finalize divorce. Everyday she has what appears to be majority custody of kids, and you’re living in a way that reflects that goes against you. Retain a good lawyer and the 1st step will be mediation, your lawyer may suggest child inclusive mediation; if your kids tell the mediator that your ex is having people over and you have anything in… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/07/23 03:23 AM |
| 11 | Question for menIf she refuses to sign, you refuse to walk down that aisle. Half of all marriages in end divorce, no one goes into it thinking it’s going to happen to them. I was one of them. If you went skydiving and the guy getting you to sign the waivers had you sign a big red one that said 50% mortality rate, would you actually sign that document? Also, Even a prenup loses value over time. It has to be regularly updated. Kevin Costner had an ‘ironclad’ prenup and now he can’t get his ex wife out of his hous… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/23 11:37 PM |
| 7 | How much did divorce cost you?We had a nuptial agreement that saved my ass. I had substantial assets going into marriage, she had her retirement accounts and was 2x divorced, with kids. Thank you Dad for convincing me that it was necessary! Short marriage, 4 years, one child of our own. I think total cost was 12-15k including mediation, she got nothing much to her dismay. Of course there was the standard MO of abuse/addiction allegations, and we squashed them. It was…really something to see, and an experience I’ll never repe… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/23 09:39 PM |
| 7 | Kids met ex new partnerAccept the things you cannot change. This is something that you have no control over and it doesn’t matter how you feel, it won’t make any difference. Just focus on being the best dad you can be and having a positive relationship with your kids. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/23 11:39 AM |
| 1 | Is marriage a flawed concept?Modern marriage in the west? Yes, absolutely. Check out the history and origins of marriage. Of course you only do this after you’ve been through the grinder and you ask yourself ‘where did it all go wrong…’ | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/23 08:32 AM |
| 9 | Florida got rid of permanent alimony!Lifetime alimony is akin to modern day slavery. On what grounds does a judge get to make the decision that you have to pay someone(anyone, man or woman) for life because you were in a relationship for some period of time. It’s madness. Some alimony under certain circumstances can be understandable, for a very limited predetermined amount of time. But for life…absolutely fuck that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/23 08:31 AM |
| 1 | [33M] I've Found Out My Girlfriend's [29F] Past Is Different Than She Told Me. How Should I Approach This?Here’s the deal I’ve learned the hard way, as a guy that was…looking through life with rose coloured glasses at the time and married a 2x divorced woman who had nothing nice to say about her ex’s and claimed they were both abusive and had addictions, all around horrible etc… Guess what she’s saying about me? 😂 It’s perfectly fine to just say ‘you know what, it didn’t work out’ vs demonising the former partner. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/23 04:14 AM |
| 2 | I’m 29 and feel like my wife is abusiveIf you have children with this woman be prepared to be alienated from your kids and used as an atm. Jesus man, you’re young and you have nothing tying you to this particular woman. Wake up, look at this sub and read it and take a deep drink of all its content, and the horror stories of other men that have come before you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/06/23 07:45 AM |
| 3 | Do you guys ever feel guilty for the kid’s sake?I feel like staying in my marriage would’ve caused significantly more harm. She had kids from a previous marriage, one in particular could literally do no wrong. Now that he’s over 18 this kid is messed up for life by being told he’s special, there are no consequences and never having his actual dad around. Of course this causes us to fight like cats and dogs, ‘can he not come home at 3am with his stereo blasting, only to park in the driveway and clearly do A drug deal then rip ass out of the dr… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/06/23 08:59 PM |
| 5 | Her lawyer is $3k, mine is $7.5k…am I going to win?Watch a doco called Divorce corp It’s free on YouTube. No, money is not an indicator of how ‘good’ an attorney is. Family court is a racket to the tune of 50 billion a year USD in the states alone | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/06/23 02:53 PM |
| 5 | X kept my kids on my weekend. Advice plzThis is the way. Also, if your state allows it in whatever updated agreement to put an end to this horseshit either have all communication in writing or solely through your ex. You’re not legally required to speak to whomever she’s banging and cohabiting with and if you have it in writing you can communicate with kids and she/he is refusing that it’s parental alienation. You’ve got a record of the police being called and your ex’s horseshit email, they’ve been generous now use their gifts and ge… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/06/23 02:12 PM |
| 1 | Waiting GameJesus Christ set the narrative and file first. This is obviously done. I wish you strength and prosperity in the future. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/06/23 10:24 AM |
| 3 | How can the judge deny my request of credit for overpaid child support?Because family court isn’t ruled by a jury of your peers, it’s ruled by a judge that’s elected. Specifically a judge that’s elected and his donors Are most likely lawyers in your area. Check out the wonderful doco: Divorce corp on YouTube Family court is the last place you want to be. It’s pretty filthy. To the tune of….50 billion a year USD | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/06/23 01:43 PM |
| 4 | Bad Outcome What Would You DoJust settle and move on. You’ve already spent enough. It’s ludacris that you’ve got 50/50 and have to pay maintenance and child support unless your ex is physically incapable of working. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/06/23 01:57 AM |
| 19 | Kevin Costner's STBXW says $248,000 in monthly child support isn't enough. Men, here's yet another shipwreck on the rocks whose only purpose now is to warn others.Yeah…I watched the Ali Wong one and I’m sure her kids are going to get a real kick out of other kids at their school looping the bit about her wanting Michael b Jordan’s loads all over her face while she’s changing wakanda forever. Then just moving right into I wanted to lock a man down because I wasn’t sure I could do it, now I know I can do it so fuck him. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/06/23 01:50 AM |
| 1 | Leaving my abusive wife. Here's some background and I would appreciate any advice.Get The Fuck Out Yes, it will hurt very much. It will suck. Then…magically things will start to slowly get better. You do not deserve to be treated this way. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/06/23 01:20 PM |
| 2 | I don’t think I want to live in this world…Never again, ever. Refuse to even live in such a way as the state can view it as defacto married. Check out a very enlightening documentary called; Divorce corp On YouTube, the divorce factory in the USA alone makes over 50 billion every year. A lot of lawyers, judges, and other personal benefit tremendously from the way things are. A former cop/private investigator in the doco said this is how he puts gas in his rolls Royce. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/06/23 10:59 PM |
| 6 | Would you pursue your ex lying in court on every opportunityEnjoy your 50/50 custody and only communicate with her as necessary via parental agreement(hopefully just medical emergencies) and even then through written communication only. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/23 01:18 PM |
| 6 | She’s retaining a new lawyer, why?Check out divorce corp on YouTube, it’ll be very eye opening at the absolute batshit amount of money that goes through family court every year In mediation find something you both can live with, it’s not in your best interest to go before a judge. If there are children you can always make a request for parental coordinator and or child inclusive mediation. Hope that helps, stay strong. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/23 01:12 PM |
| 1 | What can a law team tell from internet records?1) doesn’t matter anyway 2)no, unless there’s a livestream video recording of you watching it proving you were the one behind the screen how can it be proven it was you 3) doesn’t matter anyway 4) it could just as easily have been her If this is the ‘worst’ she’s throwing at you her case is about as solid as wet tissue paper. The only conceivable way this could be bad is if she’s alleging it was kiddie stuff that was viewed in your house, which obviously is a crime. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/23 10:49 PM |
| 5 | How did you decide to call it quits?It sucked for a long time, I was struggling with the blended family with kids who’s bio father abandoned them and who’s mother compensated by being their friend, being a step dad, and having the expectation that these were ‘our’ kids when it came to my time, effort, energy and financial resources but when it came to actually being a parent they were 100% her kids. That and the ole’ her telling me to get the fuck out or she’d call the police and make a false DV claim. We were having a disagreemen… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/23 03:32 AM |
| 5 | Wife doesn't want to agree to a parenting plan50:50 is a win for you and a loss for her, take your W before you expend a sizeable amount in legal fees just to get to the original 50:50. When the kids are older they can make the decision if they wish to live with one or the other more and it’ll be their decision. Until then just be the best dad you can be. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/23 12:59 AM |
| 3 | Video Games in your 40s?Lotta martial arts out there besides BJJ, MA and the tribe I found there essentially saved my life during my divorce. Can’t imagine where I’d be without them. That being said, I used to be a personal trainer so already had gym covered and I do enjoy gaming/comics. Just find something that you’re interested in, and give it a shot. Just try to keep the boozing etc..to a healthy level and don’t try to jump back into dating to soon. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/23 03:40 AM |
| 5 | All the petty shit I left out of my last rant.By the end my ex wife was hissing at me like a cat even if even tried to hold her hand. Sex? That was literally called ‘me getting lucky’. I was not very lucky when I was with her it turns out. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/23 11:01 PM |
| 4 | Rant: Soon to be ex-wife keeps moving the goal post for child custody for the most trivial reasons.Go through court then, unless there’s a legit reason(alcohol, drugs etc..) since he’s 3 and he’s not breast feeding there’s reason why it can’t be 50/50. If you give in now, you’re going to get railed on child support and this will only be the start. I’m not telling you to take out CC and pay your attorney in advance and then make the minimum payments and then once this is over declare bankruptcy but…it’s an option and you’ve already got a house. This is your kids future though. M | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/06/23 09:42 PM |
| 1 | Ex requests parenting time on my time during my birthdayShe’s trying to hurt you, and she’s doing her best to weaponise your children against you. There’s no easy ‘correct’ answer here. I would say follow the parental agreement to the letter, if she deviates from that, or schedules activities etc…during your time point out(document) that it’s your time And she doesn’t have the right to do so, and if she continues to do so you’ll have her notified in writing that she’s in violation of the parental agreement. I mean, by the sounds of it man you should … | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/06/23 03:56 AM |
| 1 | Update: Stbxw want to see my apartmentThank you, And oh yeah we’re ironing all that out at the next round of child inclusive mediation. After my ex requested through the mediator, I shit you not; That she have access to a working baby monitor, as in live audio and video feed into my home when I have our son overnight. At that point the mediator said it was her job to present this as she was instructed by the other party, but she couldn’t recommend I accept it. Then she closed the door(closed door separate mediation) After that the m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/23 10:39 PM |
| 16 | Update: Stbxw want to see my apartmentMy ex tried that shit too. No is a complete sentence. When we got to mediation ex laid out all her laundry list of BS issues, one among them was the ‘safety’ of my home; attorney showed her pictures and mediator just said ‘looks safe to me’ and that was the end of it. Stand your ground and don’t give in to this nonsense otherwise you’re setting a power play precedent. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/06/23 02:26 AM |
| 1 | She wants sex?I mean, any way you slice it, it’s a trap. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/23 06:32 AM |
| 1 | I am so mad, co parent is awfulIf you have a parental agreement in place(you REALLY should) then stick to it, and if she deviates from It then document document document. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/23 09:50 AM |
| 1 | How Far Away Do You Live From Your Kids?Five minutes down the road. I’m happy to be within a 10-15 minute drive of my ex’s lawyer said that would prevent any potential issues being made up for 50/50 custody that I’m going for, as we’ve managed to agree on the schools he’s going to. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/23 06:45 AM |
| 1 | Getting revenge on my SBTXW and her affair partnerYou need to move on. You’re letting her/him live rent free in your head. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/23 05:29 AM |
| 1 | What did you do?Join a gym/dojo and go religiously. Martial arts saved my life during my separation. It’s hard to think about other things when someone is actively trying to punch you in the face. Now I’m studying to become an instructor. Also, don’t try to be her friend man; just let her go. You live your life and let her live hers. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/23 02:22 AM |
| 1 | STBX is fighting dirty in custody battle.When your ex is saying you’re a raging alcoholic and that you’re unfit for looking after your kids, ya gotta do what you gotta do and when I asked my lawyer how we shut that shit down he said unequivocally a liver function test. It’s extremely simple and can be part of any blood panel ordered by your Dr. I also went out and got first aid certified right before mediation 😂 In the end she didn’t have anything of substance to come at me with and ended up getting nothing while we’re still working ou… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/06/23 12:28 AM |
| 1 | STBX is fighting dirty in custody battle.Don’t give her anything. Delete all social media or at the very least block her and anyone you can think of that may provide access to her and set everything to private, and you cannot be tagged in anything. Be prepared for other false allegations. To get ahead of the curve start gathering documentation to prove you’re not a monster. Get a police report, state and federal, get a blood lab done to show you have zero drugs in your system including a liver function test showing you done abuse alcoh… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/06/23 08:34 AM |
| 3 | Has anyone’s wife come back?No, I keep the door locked. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/23 10:59 PM |
| 8 | Spy apps for evidenceUnless there’s actual illegal activity going on it’s really irrelevant. If you’re forced to have to interact with the other party record the interaction for your own peace of mind but if you start trying to put malware and shit on their personal property you’re opening yourself up to a lot of legal issues. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/23 12:41 PM |
| 2 | Did any of your exes want to get back together 2, 3, 4+ yrs down the road even if they initiated the divorce?I’d rather be in a ‘SAW’ movie with underwear made out of pissed off fire ants. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/05/23 11:04 PM |
| 10 | Did any of your exes want to get back together 2, 3, 4+ yrs down the road even if they initiated the divorce?I’m only a year out from my ‘offical’ date but I’d rather fight a gang of methed up monkey’s with rusty chainsaws than live in the same house with that woman and her bullshit again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/05/23 05:27 AM |
| 1 | Started the journey. Strapped in for the roller coaster.You do not need a friend as a third party, you need an attorney, as in ASAP. What she did with the bank account constitutes financial abuse. At most she should’ve only moved half, as in her half; she took the whole bit. Buckle up and get a lawyer man. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/05/23 11:13 PM |
| 5 | How Bad Is This Divorce Going To F*ck Up My Kids?It’s going to be bad. Your children need a Father, they need you. I could’ve moved back to my home country and made a lot more money, that wasn’t an option. Instead I’m literally down the street from my HCBM and I do not like interacting with her at all because of how she chose to conduct herself when the knot was being untied but I’m not doing it for her, I’m doing it for my son. She’s got older kids and frankly, I don’t want my son turning out like her oldest; she’d never admit it but she’s de… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/05/23 02:02 PM |
| 2 | Ex still grills me about my lifeNo, not at all. Because I don’t allow my ex wife to come live with me every other week. There’s a reason I’m divorced, and so are you. What the hell man, that time is YOUR time with your kids, enjoy it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/05/23 07:12 AM |
| 3 | Newlywed of 1 year and contemplating divorce. Hard time seeing a futureWhatever you’re experiencing now, magnify that by 10x when kids are involved. She’s showing you who she really is now, you should believe her. Couples fight, that’s a natural thing. Taking the position that you’re unwilling to admit when you’re wrong is…not a great sign. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/05/23 07:02 AM |
| 3 | Did you go back?I was drummed out of the house under threat of her making a false dv claim against me, the fuck would I ever want to go back into a situation like that again for? Wait for the next time I piss her off and another threat comes out of her mouth? Or worse yet she doesn’t threaten she actually just does and attempts to ruin my life and keep me from having a relationship with our son? I will never feel safe around her ever again, not ‘physically’ threatened by any means, I’m 230lbs and I train in sev… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/23 10:05 AM |
| 3 | Unsubstantiated Claims of AbuseYep, that’s pretty much par for the course these days my man; at my first consult my attorney cautioned against the two A’s, false claims of addiction and abuse. Of course both were claimed, actually it was originally a false dv charge threat that got me the fuck out of the house in the first place. Speak to your lawyer, audio record everything when she is around you and video at your residence, and just to be thorough get blood labs done showing your liver function(shows signs of alcohol abuse)… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/23 07:52 AM |
| 9 | I messed upRequesting that your partner not watch porn is one thing and that’s a perfectly fine line to set, although probably unrealistic to be honest. What crosses the line is installing monitoring apps on his phone as if he’s a child. That’s a level of control no partner should have over another. But, whatever floats your boat as you seem to find this all reasonable behaviour. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/23 03:18 AM |
| 2 | “Nothing to worry about”This was at least some level of an emotional affair, hence the deleting of texts. Now that you’re done it’s getting physical, again. Take these lessons and move on with your life. There’s no reason you should be ‘friends’ with your ex’s and vice versa for your future partners. Why do they need to be friends so bad with someone they’ve fucked? There’s plenty of people to be friends with that they haven’t slept with. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/23 02:42 AM |
| 2 | Don't feel comfortable going back to a home to pick up kids.Gotta do what you gotta do. You should 100% have a recording device going to record everything so as there can be no further false accusations. Baseless allegations were made against me as well, It’s kinda par for the course in todays day, for your ex to claim abuse of some kind and/or addiction of some kind. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/23 02:35 AM |
| 11 | I messed upDid she make all the rules and decisions in this relationship? This honestly sounds like she’s doing you a favour removing herself from your life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/05/23 02:18 AM |
| 8 | How does one preserve a relationship with an infant?Talk to a lawyer and tell them you’re a victim of domestic violence and follow their directions. Yes, you can certainly maintain relationships with your children. Also, you’re a parent so unless you’ve got some major issues you can absolutely go for 50:50 custody. If you’re able to document the domestic violence and actually get a police report you could potentially wind up with full custody, Again, lawyer asap. Even if it’s just a consultation. No one, man or woman should be with a partner that… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/05/23 03:29 PM |
| 1 | Is hiring a lawyer worth it?At the absolute minimum get a consultation with one, they’re normally free. Let’s put it this way, if she for some reason decides to change her mind about anything; she’ll have lawyers lined up to represent her. Whereas if she pulls this late in the game you on the other hand will be scrambling to find someone. Maybe it goes well, maybe it shows; best to be prepared in either event. I would’ve been obliterated, living out of a cardboard box and only be able to see my son once a month during supe… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/05/23 11:30 PM |
| 1 | I need a hobby for the 50% I don't have my sonGym membership, martial arts, yoga etc… Something productive would be nice, helping you stay in shape is a plus as well. But anything is better than nothing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/23 09:35 PM |
| 1 | Happy Mother’s Day……reflectingShe’d actually completely forgotten about it. She literally said ‘oh shit’ when I surprised her at work on her lunch break with everything. Hence, the cheeseburger she picked up on her way home from work. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/23 05:09 AM |
| 8 | Does anyone else think alimony is BS?It is a joke. A stay at home parent should be from the ages of 0-5 when a kid starts 1st grade. Then, once the children are in school if the other party isn’t a business owner they need some form of income. What does a ‘stay at home parent’ do when kids are in school? So many stories of ‘stay at home parents’ that don’t do shit around the house, don’t cook, don’t clean, no laundry etc…what’re they doing all day while the kids are at school? In the age of dishwashers, washing machines/dryers and … | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/23 04:33 AM |
| 4 | Happy Mother’s Day……reflectingYep, our last anniversary I got her sterling silver earrings, flowers, chocolates etc…, she got me; and I shit you not a cheeseburger from Burger King. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/05/23 01:39 PM |
| 1 | My ex-wife told me she got "raped" by multiple men, multiple times. At first I felt all sympathetic for her, until she told me by who, when and where.There was no mention of kids. I have an extremely vindictive ex wife though so I understand your sentiment. But, nowhere did he mention he had kids with this woman. If he DID have kids, he should pursue 100% custody based on her use of crack 🤷🏻♂️ But as it stands and how I read it, he’s talking to his cock gobbling crack head ex wife several times a month. Which is insane. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/05/23 10:06 PM |
| 124 | My ex-wife told me she got "raped" by multiple men, multiple times. At first I felt all sympathetic for her, until she told me by who, when and where.Ok… Why are you still talking to your crack head ex wife? What value is this bringing to your life? Your girlfriend most definitely does not want to hear about, nor does she give a shit about your crack head ex wife that’s banged 60+ dudes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/05/23 02:40 PM |
| 1 | Do you still have to pay Child Support with 50/50 custody??It varies wildly everywhere. I’m not in the US anymore, and ex attempted to get sole custody, even though before separation I was the stay at home parent(self employed) and that blew up in her face because we also signed a postnuptial agreement(essentially what’s your is your’s/vice versa etc…) ultimately there’s a parental agreement in place now that I get overnights, time with our son during week and weekends then more overnight time later this year, then we go back to mediation at end of this… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/05/23 02:27 AM |
| 1 | Will Divorce Damage Our Kids?Lot to unpack here. She’s been through a traumatic event. That’s rough. But, that doesn’t excuse the domestic violence. You’re a victim of domestic violence my dude. Take that in. Her ‘Tyle A’ personality is not an excuse for her behaviour. You handed her the decision making hat and she ran with it. It’s good you’re open about your shortcomings. If you’re staying sober and it’s not impacting your situation then it’s a matter of the past. It’s up to you to live the life you want. But, do you want… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/23 10:12 PM |
| 5 | Stbxw want to see my apartmentSo my ex tried the same shit when we were in the ‘before getting to mediation stage’ for me to let Me bring our son to my place, she insisted on inspecting it etc…and said she’d call the police(she would, and Im an immigrant on path to citizenship which would have really fucked things up) if i brought him there and she found out etc…so I firmly refused and ultimately later found out from a mutual friend that she’d purchased a bug(as in a listening device) and had intended on planting the bug dur… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/23 06:10 AM |
| 8 | What happened with your relationships with step kids after divorce?Since ex made the threat of a false dv charge my lawyer advised me under no circumstances to have contact with them until they’re over the age of 18, and even then don’t initiate; just respond if they messaged me. But god only knows what they’ve been told etc… That being said I say hello etc…if I see them during pick up and drops off of ‘ours’. Get them all gift cards at Christmas for ‘ours’ to give to them, along with his mother because I’m trying to raise a good little human. But it’s not like… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/23 09:09 PM |
| 5 | I messed up. She wants divorce. I don’t.What is it you don’t understand? You’ve strayed multiple times, been caught and given second chances and did it again; how do you expect your wife to trust you? If the situation was reversed would you trust your wife? Sounds like this is for the best for everyone involved. Now you can pick chicks up at bars and no one will give you and gruff about it and she can do whatever she wants. 🤷🏻♂️ | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/04/23 10:52 PM |
| 2 | Wife seems to be not allowing kids to see my on my Birthday.Do you not have a parenting plan in place? All this as well as the breakdown for holidays etc…should be spelled out very clearly in it and then you can enforce it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/04/23 01:14 AM |
| 1 | Mediation on Friday - What do you wish you knew back when you went through it?Get a blood panel done showing liver function and that you do not have drugs in your system. This will invalidate any claims of addiction or abuse of drugs/alcohol by her. A note from a Dr that reviewed the results will help too. That’s how I squashed my ex’s claim I was a raging alcoholic. The dr that wrote it was also ‘her’ dr as well, so there was no way she could dispute the results 🤣 | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/04/23 02:47 AM |
| 2 | The patriarchy?Look up Aaron clarey and buy the book of numbers. He’s also got some other great books and a regular podcast. The book of numbers though….It’s pretty enlightening. He had an actuary verify all his data. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/04/23 11:56 AM |
| 1 | I’m I thinking correctly?You’re already worth 7 figures that she’ll get at least half of because you’ve agreed on her being a stay at home mom(if the kid is in school, what’s the point??? She can’t get a daytime job??) So the deck is already stacked against you, so you might as well make 300kb a year unless you’re legitimately afraid of divorce being on the horizon. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/23 07:57 PM |
| 7 | Is it better to marry girls who want to be SAHMs or ones who are career-oriented and “independent”?You’d be surprised. Spot on about single moms, took a nasty divorce for me to realise that. The modern woman is a woman that’s been told she can have it all, a career, kids and a husband. Guess which one is the most disposable? | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/23 07:50 PM |
| 7 | For those of you who were upfront before marriage and not willing to negotiate on having a prenup, trusts, and strategic legal separation (before the marriage, as crazy as that sounds), did it backfire on you? If so, did you regret it and would you do anything differently?Had a pre nup, did not get fucked over despite her best efforts. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/23 08:14 AM |
| 7 | She is trying to destroy my social lifeI mean, they kinda made a statement not showing up to ‘your’ party and showing up to hers. Out of all the friends ‘we’ had after divorce I only still talk to two of them. Up to you how you want to move forward, but if they’re married friends they’re going to have an inclination to ‘choose’ her, especially considering kids are involved. Along with the fact that she’s alleging physical abuse took place, who knows what else she’s said. It sucks, but the flip side is you get to make new friends. Joi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/23 02:48 AM |
| 1 | What would you have done?Should really check into a parental agreement. You can get them before divorce is finalised, essentially puts everything major regarding the kids in writing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/04/23 11:17 AM |
| 4 | Wife wants a second child and I don’t. She threatened divorce over this.…so you’re advocating him to stay with a wife that really wants him to have another child he doesn’t want and has threatened to divorce him over it? In the age we live in when a woman threatens a man, they don’t have to physically harm him; they can ruin his life with a phone call. Sounds like their relationship is solid as a rock and not at all going to fall under the statistical probability of divorce. This woman is emotionally blackmailing him with the threat of divorce and you’re suggesting … | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/23 02:15 AM |
| 0 | Wife wants a second child and I don’t. She threatened divorce over this.Did we read the same post? He said he absolutely did not want a 2nd kid and gave several valid reasons. She said she would divorce him if there’s no 2nd child in this marriage. So…. Divorce. If he gives into this ultimatum now, it’s only going to embolden her to make another demand in the future etc…would you give into emotional blackmail to a partner making a demand like this under the threat of divorce? 🤷🏻♂️ | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/23 02:02 AM |
| 20 | Wife wants a second child and I don’t. She threatened divorce over this.Ok, so she’s going to divorce you. Would you rather go through a divorce now, with one child; or at some point in the future with two children? This is pretty straightforward she’s trying to blackmail you, except if you go through with it she can always still divorce you in the future and potentially do even more damage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/04/23 01:08 PM |
| 4 | Advice to men: Don't be fooled by those who advise you not to co-habitat or date, nearly all cases in family court are marriage related. If you don't sign the marriage certificate, there is little chance you will end up in family courtDude, before you start making blanket statements like this; you should really take into account family law is different in different areas. In many states, and sometimes entire countries common law marriage/de facto is very much a thing, and by all accounts is the same as saying ‘I do’ I live in Australia now, where I’m at if I cohabitate with a woman for two years in the eyes of the law WE ARE MARRIED. Meaning, if I break up with my gf she can come after my shit. This is currently happening to … | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/03/23 02:46 AM |
| 6 | Young men who have divorced w/o kidsLate 30’s just finished divorce, have one small child of our own. She was 2x divorced with 3 kids, I know, I know. I had nuptial agreements in place to protect my assets/business. Never though I’d need them, but they saved my ass; she didn’t get shit. HOLY SHIT Constant fights over her letting her kids get away with murder and never disciplining them in any way, no boundaries etc…then came the fateful day she told me to get the fuck out or she’d make a false DV against me. This has been the sing… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/03/23 12:16 PM |
| 1 | How did you guys deal with the guilt in regards to your kids financial support?Settle for nothing less than 50/50 custody and whatever your lawyer thinks is a fair split of martial assets assuming you don’t already have a financial agreement in place, should he 50/50 as well. Do not let this woman raise your children and you be relegated to an ATM. Look at the stats for kids raised by single moms, they’re absolutely deplorable. Fight for equal time with your kids because you have rights too. Her future is absolutely not your concern, and as others have pointed out if she n… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/23 08:58 AM |
| 4 | Where to compromise financially?You need to take an active role in your kids life, tell your lawyer you want 50:50 custody. This is going to cost you a pound of flesh, no doubt but your kids are worth it. Consult a lawyer, do not be nice, do not agree to anything in writing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/23 11:02 PM |
| 5 | Am I over reacting?Reread what you wrote except add in that your wife met up with him for ‘drinks’ or a ‘coffee’ That’s what’s coming next, and spoiler alert they’re not going to stop at that. Yes, they will have sex; yes she may give you a sob story, but in the end she’s showing you who she is. It’s up to you to decide what you can live with, it’s clear your wife doesn’t respect you and is openly and brazenly flaunting that. It will only escalate. Also, her bestie sounds like she’s toxic AF and actively enabling.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/23 10:06 PM |
| 5 | How bad does my future look?50/50 custody for a woman is a loss, for a man it’s a win, that’s the reality of the situation. Speak to a lawyer in your area and outline your concern for your daughters well-being about wife’s substance abuse, if it is indeed a problem that can be proven then that may be something to work with. Either way, if you’ve made up your mind don’t delay and just get on with it so you can start healing from this. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/23 02:12 AM |
| 0 | Book recommendationI was introduced to the red pill while Going through my divorce from a single mom with three kids that I made significantly more than. If I hadn’t of taken precautions before saying I do through a pre-nup she’d own my ass and I could be on the hook for child support for her kids that I never adopted and she threatened me with a false DV charge if I didn’t do as she instructed. Jesus Christ was it eye opening. There’s good and bad about the ‘movement’ or whatever it’s being referred to as today, … | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/23 12:41 AM |
| 10 | How to watch for sudden divorce?There’s a plethora of things that other people have pointed out. But, understand this a woman can change her mind at any time, for any reason. And after speaking with a lawyer for the first time there’s a seed that’s planted, and it will encourage her to behave as poorly as possible so she gets the best possible outcome for herself. There have been many men that have come home from a business trip/work etc…to find his wife on the phone with the police saying she’s scared and you just got home, t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/03/23 04:40 AM |
| 1 | STBXW character assassination with kids before divorceGet a lawyer, tell them you’re concerned about false accusations of domestic violence and/or addiction/abuse of some kind and pay them a retainer and you want 50/50 custody. Then follow their advice to the letter. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/03/23 12:26 PM |
| 8 | Who else has noticed...You don’t realise you’re in the storm until you see the clouds part and the sun shine. Then you take a step back and go ‘whoa’ An unhappy marriage is miserable for everyone. I’m sure she’s happier in some ways as well, I feel like my quality of life has significantly gone up. Definitely taught me a lot about what I am, and am not willing to deal with in the future. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/23 01:41 AM |
| 3 | Violation of agreementGet a rental car dude, it’ll be cheaper then lawyers. She can definitely say you haven’t spent time with your kids, which doesn’t look good. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/23 10:04 PM |
| 2 | Thoughts on Tiger, his ex, and her desire to nullify the NDA?Mine held up, but it was unique circumstances. Nuptial agreements aren’t bulletproof and they also have to be updated every so often. Really, the only sensible solution is to never marry. Hell, even cohabiting with a woman for two years where I’m at means we’re married; so that’s off the table. I’m not giving up half my shit because I broke up with my goddamn girlfriend. The legal system has gone full twilight zone | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/23 04:17 AM |
| 5 | Working it out or divorcing? Is it worth trying or just to simply let go?Your marriage is over unless you’re totally ok with being a cuckold and possibly raising another man’s kid and being on the hook financially for your wife being his sperm depository. Get a lawyer and get the fuck out now, unless you’ve got a cuck fetish then you’re going to have a blast because this won’t be the only guys she banging. Live your life the way you want to. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/23 04:12 AM |
| 2 | How did divorce change you emotionally?Rigidly firm boundaries. I am not the man I was before, and I now have witnessed what can happen if I allow the state into my relationship. I’ve also borne witness to other men’s stories and they’re mostly absolutely terrible. I’m thankful for my situation. Never again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/03/23 12:57 AM |
| 2 | So, can they just lie with no negative consequences?….all she has to do to ruin your life is say she’s scared of you to her lawyer and he filed a DV order against you. With zero evidence. Yes, she can lie with no consequences. My ex lied her ass off during mediation, no consequences for her; went so far as to have her lawyer write up a document about how abusive I was, violent, addicted to xyz, but she didn’t actually sign it because then it would’ve gone before a judge. She did it just to fuck with me. This is after she already made a false DV t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/23 11:02 PM |
| 2 | What would you guys do?The reason for no cohabitation is that after two years in my area you become defacto married. That’s right, after two years if you break up with your gf/bf they have a claim to your assets. Imagine being on the hook for child support…for your girlfriend’s kids that you never adopted? Welcome to the twilight zone of family law There’s a Canadian businessman paying 50k a MONTH in alimony to a woman he was never wed to but dated for several years. Never owned anything together, never combined finan… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/23 10:58 PM |
| 7 | What would you guys do?If I were in your shoes? No cohabitation under any circumstances. Date whoever you want, single mummy’s etc…however make it abundantly clear their child, their responsibility, your child your responsibility. No wiggle room, it is what it is. Realistically, there’s a significant chance you may date a single mom in the future, that doesn’t mean you have to help her raise her kid. I was a step dad to 3 kids, two of which called me dad and said they loved me. Now we’re divorced and my lawyer said un… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/23 03:52 PM |
| 5 | What would you guys do?Yep, this is the way | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/23 03:49 PM |
| 1 | I might be in trouble.Was she capable of doing anything remotely useful Around the house? Oh, looks like she can be a house keeper then. Surely unless she has an autoimmune disease, or some Other debilitating illness there’s nothing stopping her from going to work. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/03/23 09:12 PM |
| 3 | Wtf is going on with the WestCheck your area for common law marriage, it’s a real thing(in my area it’s 2 years), but it’s only in a few states. Imagine having to split have your assets/retirement and possibly alimony….to an ex girlfriend. Common law marriage can get fucked. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/23 04:44 AM |
| 6 | She won't leave me aloneThe lawyers smell blood and that’s what they’re after. If the divorce has been settled what else is there to discuss besides occasionally updating the parental agreement? | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/23 02:09 AM |
| 2 | should i get a divorce?Similar situation, I got her pregnant. Now happily divorced. Only thing I don’t regret is our child, outside of that the relationship was a total shitshow in hindsight. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/02/23 05:56 AM |
| 7 | After 5 year of marriage, my wife ask for divorced and keep the fwb with me? Anyone face the same situation? (M34, F29)Yes. You’re overthinking it. Divorce her, focus on yourself for 12 months both mentally and physically then get out there and tear it up. The world is literally your oyster. Or, you could be in a FWB to a woman you said you’d spend your life with for better or worse, sickness and health. Just a bit of advice, never be afraid to fail. Why? Because what’s the absolute worst thing that’s going to happen? Not death? Didn’t die? Ok then it wasn’t to bad, pick yourself up and get on with it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/23 10:31 AM |
| 8 | After 5 year of marriage, my wife ask for divorced and keep the fwb with me? Anyone face the same situation? (M34, F29)You don’t have kids, there’s 3.5 billion women on planet earth. Get a divorce, and move on with your life and try to be the best man you can be and have the best life you can. Why are you putting up with this shit? | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/23 08:58 AM |
| 1 | Question on step-kids & support.Cautionary tale, this almost happened to me in Australia as well. It’s fucking bananas that you can get on the hook for kids you never legally adopted and you were only married/defacto to their mother for xyz length of time. Suffice to say, I’m never even cohabitating with a woman again(in my state two years cohabitating = defacto marriage) let alone living with one kids again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/23 03:48 AM |
| 0 | Is there even a point to marriage anymore? Are women really this immature in the aggregate?Considering the state of things, 50% of first marriages end in divorce, it gets Worse with every subsequent marriage Women initiate divorce 70-80% of the time Generally speaking, women are financially incentivised to behave poorly during a divorce, especially if there are children involved/child support is on the table. So, nope not really seeing a whole lot of upside here for men to get married. As someone that was married I’ll never get married again and at this point with what I know about fa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/02/23 09:15 AM |
| 2 | Proving Alcohol Abuse in Custody CaseNo you’re not being paranoid, addiction/abuse claims are commonplace in this situations. As someone that’s been in your shoes before, I would suggest complete sobriety until these matters are behind you, and if/when she should raise this issue through her attorney then you voluntarily complete a liver function test. That’s your silver bullet. Unfortunately, it’s accurate so if you are abusing alcohol, or even consume alcohol regularly it can and will show that, hence the suggestion for total sob… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/02/23 03:13 AM |
| 1 | Serious question. Was she sincere?Don’t let her live rent free in your head. You’re better off without her in your life and unless there’s a medical emergency or something of the like there’s no reason for you to communicate with her. Get busy getting on with your life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/02/23 12:49 PM |
| 2 | Dealing with Familiar Faces at the Gym After a Difficult DivorceThe tip? You’re not at the gym to make friends, or talk to people. Least of all relations with your ex. Go in, get your shit done and leave. Simple as that. Now if THEY start something, it’ll most Likely be on a security feed and you can use It to get their asses booted from the gym. I worked at a gym for a decade, simply say they made you feel unsafe, threatened you etc…and you’ll be fine. A gym just wants memberships, Not any drama. You’re there for you, don’t let Other people life rent free i… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/02/23 12:41 PM |
| 2 | How do you get started?This is great, also get the hell out of California if at all possible. It’s one of, if not the worst state to divorce in. Lifetime alimony?! | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/23 11:27 PM |
| 3 | If you have found, much better women after divorce, where?Have kids sure, you don’t have to be married to have kids. The only reason the pain was worth it was because of my son. That being said the reason I didn’t get completely fucked is I’m self employed, had a pre nup and was the stay at home parent. Most guys have a much different experience. She tried to rake me over the coals but it didn’t go her way. There’s literally no reason to get married in this day and age when the majority of marriages end in divorce, and if kids are involved the majority… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/02/23 05:44 AM |
| 7 | If you have found, much better women after divorce, where?In all sincerity good luck with starting a family in this day and age, who knows you may find yourself a unicorn. But, women always reserve the right to change their mind, today, tomorrow; 13 years from now. Doesn’t matter. But I certainly agree that it would be best to raise a child in a two parent household. But unfortunately sometimes that’s just not possible. I literally moved around the world for my ex, attempted to the best of my ability to help her raise her 3 kids from previous marriage,… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/02/23 09:41 PM |
| 8 | Is it just me... or is the system designed solely for profit and inequality usually at the fathers expense?!No, it’s an absolute shit show. Women are incentivised by the legal system to behave as poorly as possible, and egged on by an attorney that you very well could end up paying for. It’s akin to marching into a slaughterhouse. The fact that common law defacto marriages also exist is an absolute joke. In my area if I live with a woman for 2 years guess what? We’re essentially married in the eyes of the state and she can lay claim to have my shit. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/02/23 02:50 PM |
| 44 | If you have found, much better women after divorce, where?Divorced, dad with a little boy. After being familiarised with local law, I will never again live with a woman. Happy to be in a relationship, but we ain’t living together. In my area just living with a woman for 2 years gives her rights to have my shit just the same as if we were married. The family law dynamics are completely assbackwards. So, now I’m just trying to be the best dad I can be. If you look after yourself physically, and make money there will never be a shortage of women available… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/02/23 02:44 PM |
| 1 | Just need to vent, I guessTalk to your lawyer about parental alienation, even if she’s got a RO on you, unless it also applies to the children you have a right to see them. Get your lawyer to be proactive, she’s given you a gift by representing herself; take advantage of it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/02/23 11:07 AM |
| 1 | I'm unsure about marriage. I'm unsure about divorce. I don't want to be hurt again.Wow that was tough to read. You’re dealing with a mentally unwell person that’s made multiple attempts to end their life. These attempts are documented, as are her stays in the hospital etc… If your lawyer can’t get you 100% custody with this documented information then they suck and you should find another lawyer. The argument is simple, if she kills Herself while the children are in her care it will irreparably harm them psychologically, or say she tries and one of the kids find her and has to… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/01/23 10:16 PM |
| 1 | I want a divorce. When did you all realize that divorce was your best option to move on in your life?I realised it was game over when after an argument about her oldest son yet again doing illegal things, potentially putting the entire family at risk she screamed ‘get the fuck out or I’m calling the police and claiming domestic violence’ in front of her youngest son. Yeah, that and also not ever having to hear happy wife happy life. I think back sometimes to what would’ve happened had she not threatened to do that, and actually did it. How her getting angry could’ve potentially ruined my life. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/01/23 01:39 PM |
| 2 | Ready for divorce, need help understanding my wife. Please advise. Don't hold back.Man, you wanted honest feed back so here you. Why the fuck has she been allowed be a stay at home mom for 14 years, after you busted your ass to pay off her college degree? If she’s a college educated woman there is literally no reason barring physical disabilities for not being able to get a job. This is just being lazy and not wanting to work, plan and simple. You say she’s a stay at home wife…yet you do tue cooking cleaning etc…AS WELL as being the breadwinner. So, it sounds like you’ve got l… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/01/23 10:22 AM |
| 1 | Post-nuptial agreement to waive spousal support?My situation occurred in Australia. But it did have clauses for $0 spousal support etc… If you’re in Cali find the absolute most pitbull of an attorney you can find, it might seem expensive but it’ll be worth it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/01/23 11:53 PM |
| 1 | Some random woman messages me...You’ve got your shit to deal with as does this other woman. Don’t get sucked into the petty bullshit of who’s banging who. Your ex will probably bang a lot of dudes, best you just gray rock it and not give a shit so long as no one touches your kids or does anything inappropriate. Listen to your lawyer, and maintain you want 50/50 custody, that’s your best outcome here unless she’s actively engaging in illegal activities and you can prove it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/01/23 04:22 PM |
| 22 | How do u guys trust women again? Or can you?Marriage? Absolutely not Co-habitation? Absolutely not Long term relationship? I’m not opposed to it. The issue is, outside of finding a compatible partner of course, is that anyone can change their mind for whatever reason at any time. That and the state(in the west at least) literally incentivises a former partner(married or defacto!) to behave very poorly in separation. I moved around the world, got married and tried my best to help my ex raise her 3 kids from her 2nd husband and we had one o… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/01/23 11:54 PM |
| 1 | How to protect myself in the future (wife is low income)Ask yourself why you’re getting married?? And is it worth going through hell and back for? | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/01/23 05:08 AM |
| 2 | just got a gun pointed at me.…so you’re still concerned with her hurting herself after she pointed a loaded gun at you?? Man, I hope for your sake you sober up to the fact that she could’ve ended you. Get out now, who gives a toss if you get portrayed as a villain, lose the house etc…you’ve only got ONE life. Doesn’t sound like you’re living your best one being married to a woman that likes to bang other dudes and point guns at you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/01/23 04:30 AM |
| 1 | How are you guy’s dating life going nowadays?In short? Things are going very well. It’s a big wide world out there. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/23 10:50 PM |
| 2 | Going through an “uncontested divorce” and on 3 it states “This marriage is irretrievably broken” and I don’t agree with this. Can the wording be changed to reflect that she believes this but I don’t? Or is this just standard language that’s needed to file an uncontested divorce?Mate, sign the papers and get on with the rest of your life. Assuming you’ve had a consult with a lawyer and they’ve advised you of the basics so you don’t get screwed if you’re able to save tens of thousands of dollars by doing it yourself, you’d be a fool not to. The 15k I spent on mine was the best money ever, but she was actively trying to screw me out of everything, including time with our child. There was no way we were going to agree on anything, about anything. So that’s the way it had t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/01/23 10:34 PM |
| 2 | I’m ready to do it. What’s going to happen to us?You are going to sever your relationship outside of communication for/with your kids for her. Why do you care about her retirement? Care about YOUR retirement, she can meet and start banging a millionaire a month after you seperate. The chances of her meeting/banging a millionaire/multimillionaire are SIGNIFICANTLY higher than your chances of doing the same. Pour your effort and time into yourself, your present self and your future self. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/12/22 12:00 PM |
| 1 | Mum asking me (M34) when will I get married and give her grandkidsTell your mum to invest in a pet. Rushing into a marriage, especially with the intentions to have children is a recipe for disaster. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/12/22 04:03 PM |
| 1 | She's keeping the kids from me on Christmas...Going forward, my suggestion would be to tell your lawyer that your sole objective at this current time is to obtain a written parental agreement. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/12/22 10:20 AM |
| 6 | If you've been divorced once after a long marriage, would you marry someone who has been divorced twice, from short marriages?I would rather fight a gang of methed up monkeys with rusty chainsaws in a salt mine than get married again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/22 05:29 AM |
| 1 | would it betray my son's trust?Essentially you should take those results to a DR, ask them if this proves you’re not a raging alcoholic; if they say yes great. If they say no, then ask what test you need and get that done. My lawyer told me ex would claim addiction of some kind and or abuse, or both. She claimed I was an alcoholic, fortunately I have lab work done every quarter that proves otherwise and she had no evidence of any sort of abuse etc… Cover your ass. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/12/22 07:39 AM |
| 1 | would it betray my son's trust?Get a full blood panel, specifically including a liver function test. Shut that shit down. Hard to make false accusations in the face of EVIDENCE to the contrary. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/12/22 11:35 AM |
| 1 | Dealing with pettiness, so this is how its gonna be..Have you considered getting a 2nd legal opinion? Just throwing it out there. If you’ve got everything YOU can think of in writing and it’s established she’s being…difficult that can be taken into consideration. Best of luck to you, | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/12/22 03:01 PM |
| 1 | Dealing with pettiness, so this is how its gonna be..Do you not have a written parental agreement that outlines everything? If you do not, that should be your top priority. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/12/22 11:36 PM |
| 3 | Post-nuptial agreement to waive spousal support?As a guy that had a post nuptial agreement that DID save my ass… If you’re already having these sorts of thoughts now, seriously just get a divorce now unless you’re both willing to make a serious commitment and/or change both of your behaviours. I went into my situation with rose colored glasses and only did mine as an afterthought because I had a substantial amount of assets, I literally never even thought I’d use it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/12/22 03:18 AM |
| 1 | She wants alimony and CS:UpdateTalk to a lawyer! Stop negotiating with her and don’t put anything in writing. If she talks to a lawyer first, you’re cooked mate. Your lawyer is going to tell you to get a written parenting plan in place, and possibly mediation(with them present) as a first step. It’s like you’re trying to play poker without knowing the rules or what cards your holding. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/12/22 09:03 PM |
| 2 | She wants alimony and child supportStop attempting to negotiate with her, under no circumstances put anything in writing and get legal counsel asap. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/22 10:13 PM |
| 1 | I am currently starting over in life and would like advice.My advice as a divorced guy? Do whatever you want as far as letting her have appt etc…if that’s how you feel. You absolutely need a written parental agreement though, and I would not settle for anything less than 50/50. It’s ‘great’ things are amicable now, but what’re you going to do when she starts dating and bringing guys around your son? What’re you going to do it she meets somebody and wants to move across the country with her new guy? What’re you going to do if she changes her mind and wan… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/22 05:59 AM |
| 11 | For the men who initiated and filed for divorceIt wasn’t the complete lack of sex, affection or quality time; or even dealing with her children from a previous a relationship(I knew what I was getting into, but it got really complicated) Or, even when things got heated when she told me to get the fuck out of the house or she’d file a false domestic violence report with the police, she said this in front of her youngest. No, what got me to file was me trying to take our(my only) son to the Zoo while we were separated and she said no and when … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/11/22 09:10 PM |
| 1 | Can I propose a "divorce offer" to her?Nope, I am definitely not a lawyer. But I am definitely divorced, definitely self employed and definitely kept all my assets and also have equal custodial rights to my child and did not get obliterated by the family court system that’s a racket for destroying the lives of men’s finances and mental health. But sure, ‘negotiate’ all you want with an ex-partner that’s legally incentivised by the family court system to go absolutely as hard as possible on you for their own benefit. You clearly have … | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/11/22 11:06 PM |
| 2 | Can I propose a "divorce offer" to her?No. You need to speak with a lawyer and understand your rights and your situation. If you attempt to ‘negotiate’ with her, it’s not going to end well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/11/22 12:09 PM |
| 2 | Ex-Wife three years post-divorce is making false abuse claims and manipulating my three boysPretty much what Wolverine said. Also, as a Dad myself in this situation(divorced, one child of our own, 3 on her end from her 2nd marriage) you essentially have to gray rock her. Gray rock means…you’re a rock, they’ll try to get a rise out of you and shake you etc…but you’re an emotional rock, you don’t move. As far as your kids are concerned you’re going have to possibly jump through some ridiculous hoops, I did and many others have before me. As Wolverine mentioned, abuse(all forms) are commo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/11/22 12:58 PM |
| 3 | Harassment advice ex will not stop.Out of funds for a lawyer? Maybe try filing a police report for harassment and turning over all the evidence she’s gleefully given you. Outside of that, if your lawyer is wanting more money and you’re not happy with the services they’re providing ask for a copy of all the records they have and go take that to a consult with a ‘men’s rights’ attorney and explain the situation to them. No one, man or woman should have to put up with this. You have options, exercise them. Document everything though… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/11/22 12:07 AM |
| 0 | Why do Women give up on their marriage more than men do?I wouldn’t use Tom Brady as an example, mostly due to the fact that he said he was going to retire, committed to retiring, then made the decision to go back. Dude is in his mid 40’s, already super rich and successful, he just can’t put the ball down. To each his own but even the best champ athlete needs to know when to hang it up. As far as women go…due to the structure of the family court system they’re essentially financially incentivised to take action, why wouldn’t they? If they’re highly li… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/22 04:37 AM |
| 2 | What are the chances of a spouse changing her violent ways?This is why you need legal counsel ASAP. You owe it to your child to give them a better example than what is currently being offered. They will learn how to treat other humans by how you two treat each other and what they see/hear. As far as recording, again talk to lawyer but I’ll tell you this much if shit went down and she was abusing me physically, I’d much rather have actual evidence of it and be able to demonstrate that I was not the aggressor. She could literally crack you over the head w… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/22 03:53 AM |
| 8 | Was your ex in a rush to get married?Jesus Christ man, get some legal counsel ASAP. Red flags everywhere, from the simplest point of view sounds like she wanted a guy to marry her then knock her up, so she could potentially be in a great position to fuck him over financially and take his kids away. From what you’re saying she brow beat you into getting married and is now feverishly working to divorce you. Get legal counsel asap! | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/22 03:07 AM |
| 2 | What are the chances of a spouse changing her violent ways?Do not lay a hand on her or even raise your voice. Talk to a lawyer, if it’s legal in your state go to counselling, with the understanding that you’re going to ‘talk through’ or discuss the DV that’s been perpetuated against you. Record everything. If you get her on recording admitting to what you’ve said here, and the counsellor doesn’t report it then you’ve just given yourself a massive step up. You need legal counsel and to be preparing your exit strategy. This is not a viable long term relat… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/22 03:00 PM |
| 3 | STBX Wife already deleting our pictures on her Social MediaFor your mental health, stop looking at her social media entirely. If you find you can’t help it, then make a goal to get off social media completely so you won’t be tempted to. If you continue to ‘check on her’ you’re only inviting more pain and hurt as one day day she will meet someone else. Do not let her live rent free in your head, your time together is over. Now the journey on becoming your best self has begun, and only you can move each foot in the right direction on this new journey you’… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/22 10:33 PM |
| 1 | Nearly broken, looking for advice.Ok so… As a guy that’s been divorced, post divorce Life is pretty awesome. Granted , I’m financially solvent and physically look after myself. That being said…the world is your oyster my friend. Women, generally speaking peak on the sexual marketplace significantly earlier than men. That being said, if you do the work, and work on yourself along with Increaseing your income, you will be in a fantastic position going forward. Feel free to send me DM’s. I am extremely happy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/09/22 10:09 AM |
| 1 | I need to get outIf you want to do what’s best for your kids, you’re going to divorce your wife. It sounds like the household is absolutely toxic and that’s what you’re raising your kids in/around and that’s how they’re growing up seeing what are supposed to be their models(mom and dad) treat each other like shit and clearly don’t love each other anymore. Get a lawyer and go for 50/50. Yes, it’s going to hurt, yes you will see your kids less, but in the end the quality of time you spend with them will significan… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/09/22 03:54 AM |
| 1 | UltimatumIf I were given an ultimatum by my partner for marriage, then they would no longer be my partner. There’s literally millions of men telling you what a bad idea marriage in modern society is. But if you want to find out for yourself, go right ahead. I went in with rose coloured glasses and only came out relatively unscathed because I was in a very unique situation and set of circumstances. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/09/22 12:03 AM |
| 1 | How to cope with divorce and regrets.You’re not going to win her back. Frankly, you shouldn’t want to; divorce is never easy but you are now better off in this situation. This woman, according to you used false information to file a TRO, she is not your wife anymore, she is not your friend anymore; she is a coparent and that is all. You are embarking on a new chapter in life, and it is up to you as to how it will be written. This is your life now, you only have one. Make it count. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/09/22 01:52 PM |
| 13 | still don't know if i did the right thing.Lawyer up now. They will advise you of the ins and outs, don’t know if weed is legal in your state or not, it’s irrelevant if she’s looking after the kids while stoned. Lawyer will advise you on the best course to make a case thar will stick either through mediation/family court. This relationship is over, the sooner you accept that and take steps to move on both for your own sake and for that of your kids the better. This is a serial cheater. Yes, this is going to suck, it’s going to be painful… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/09/22 02:40 PM |
| 1 | Which lawyer to choose when false accusations of SA are threatenedAs others have mentioned, get a recorder and keep it on at all times. This is one of your only shields. I’d suggest going with the criminal/family attorney, either one is not going to be cheap. Any attorney worth their salt is going to talk to you about the three A’s. Adultery Addiction Abuse It’s extremely common for one, or all of them to be brought up and used maliciously in no fault areas the first one doesn’t really have an impact but the other two sure do, especially if you have kids. This… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/08/22 01:01 AM |
| 2 | 15 years of marriage down the drainDo not go on the golf trip, you could come back to changed locks, claims of domestic violence, child abandonment/abuse etc…it’s game over, she’s already shown her hand she’s got a new lover. In case you didn’t already realise it, you’re in the danger zone. You need legal guidance like yesterday, treat this situation as if your future depends on it, because it just might. Fingers crossed this doesn’t go nuclear, but if it does you need to be prepared and have your ducks in a row. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/07/22 07:59 AM |
| 2 | I am losing hope in the legal system.Your lawyer is going to determine your future. A good one is worth their weight in gold and a bad one will cost you their weight in gold. Either way you’re going to be out of pocket. Choose wisely. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/07/22 09:54 AM |
| 7 | My wife took our one month old son and left the houseEh, not a great situation all around. Rather than talking about your rights or her rights, perhaps just discuss it in the frame of ‘what’s best for the child’, either way that’s in the past. Going forward, if open communication is present suggest getting a 2nd opinion(having your mother be the dr probably wasn’t the best idea). If communication is not present and you don’t see the situation improving immediately contact attorney regarding your rights as the child’s father, get the dr’s recommend… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/22 06:55 AM |
| 10 | What advice would you give to a single 20 year old man for his eventual future relationship and marriage with a woman?Read the rational male. Wish I would have in my 20’s. As a guy currently going through divorce, that because I’m in a unique set of circumstances even though I’m financially well off and we had a child together(she had several prior) to come out financially intact and am working towards 50/50 custody of our son as I was the stay at home parent…seriously don’t get married. Have a kid if you’d like, hell have a couple if you’re really keen; being a Dad is the best thing that’s ever happened to me … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/06/22 04:35 AM |
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