No-Independence-9705 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
53	She is struggling.		No-Independence-9705	/r/Divorce_Men	22/12/22 01:42 PM
28	Welp. She just reached out		No-Independence-9705	/r/Divorce_Men	24/11/22 06:35 AM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
3	She is struggling. I see it clearly now. But, I honored my vows and she’s actually the one that filed for divorce and soon after moved in with her new boyfriend. But, I am now free.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/12/22 12:09 AM
2	She is struggling. Nope. No kiddos. No house either as we sold it before we moved to our current locations.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/12/22 08:21 PM
3	She is struggling. Her daddy was an alcoholic and died several years ago. Her oldest sister unfortunately died from liver failure a few years back. Her remaining sister is checked out from the family. And her mother is your typical codependent enabler. So it won’t matter if I do. Her mom will just tell her everything is fine, and at least allow her to move in with her if my soon to be ex loses everything. Last week my stbx called me early in the morning having another panic attack and said she couldn’t go to work …	/r/Divorce_Men	22/12/22 07:11 PM
1	Help getting through the first few weeks after deciding on divorce As far as the isolation and not having personal contact by working remotely, that’s a tough one man. My weekends were definitely harder than the work week days due to no personal contact with others. Talking on the phone only goes so far. And we moved right before she told me she wanted a divorce to an area I have no friends or family within 6 hours of me. So yeah, being alone took some time to get used to. And I don’t know…, maybe the forced isolation also forced me to deal with the pain head o…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/12/22 06:10 PM
1	Help getting through the first few weeks after deciding on divorce Doing all the things you’re doing, it took me 3 months of being on the verge of tears at any moment. Like…any moment. Then after those 3 months I started to have a decent day every now and then. And it’s gotten slowly better from there. So you’re not alone my dude. This shit hurts. More than we could ever imagine it hurting. It’ll get slowly better though	/r/Divorce_Men	22/12/22 04:31 PM
13	She is struggling. Understood that last paragraph for sure. And yes, I do hope she understands someday how much I did. Not for my own sake, but so she learns to take accountability.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/12/22 02:33 PM
2	You think you know someone. Same my dude. She tore my insides out with both	/r/Divorce_Men	22/12/22 01:53 PM
8	You think you know someone. Yup. After the debilitating pain of the divorce bomb subsided, I was able to reflect much more on the relationship. She recently told me she had fallen out of love with me in 2014/15. We moved in 2016, bought a house together, did normal married couple things. And then in 2021 she dropped the worst 4 words ever on me. But, now that I look back at everything, I can really see that the pain I was feeling is grieving the person I thought she was and wanted her to be….not grieving who the actual per…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/12/22 01:22 PM
3	Getting a divorce. I did the cheating in my marriage. I hate that I didn’t just end it. I have 7 year old son. How do I move forward feeling like a shitty person? Look up the life of David in the Bible homie. He did the same thing…but much worse. Eventually coming to terms with it, and asking God to forgive	/r/Divorce_Men	22/12/22 01:15 PM
3	Interesting event occurred today. That’s actually a good move on his part. Assuming he is telling the truth, I respect it for sure. Takes some integrity to man up and make that phone call. I would think he’s being truthful. Why would he make that up. So sorry you had to go through this in the first place, hopefully your healing journey is helped a little by this.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/12/22 01:13 PM
1	Everything is signed, just waiting on the judge Yup. Mine is about to lose her job during one of her many mental breakdowns she has because she’s got too much on her plate with fixing her car, etc. and has the audacity to call me from her new dudes house for advice. Because, as she stated, “I’m her person”. Not anymore I’m not. I went to offer help but then I’m like wait…you filed for divorce, you cheated on me, you’re living with someone else already and asking me for money. All the while I can hear the other dude and his dog in the backgrou…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/12/22 02:48 PM
1	Everything is signed, just waiting on the judge Yup. I’ll second that for sure. I get calls asking for advice all the time from her	/r/Divorce_Men	14/12/22 02:46 PM
2	It’s been about 41 days since my last post. Dealing with another wave of garbage. Ok bud, I feel you. My soon to be ex is now living with a dude quite a few years older than her who also happens to be in a band. Not even divorced yet and she’s posting social media pictures. Stings like a mother fkr. I not only “unfollowed” her accounts but I also blocked them so I couldn’t go back and see anything. Texted her and asked that she do the same. I understand the urge to check in on her life….but it’ll reopen any wounds that you may have healed. It’s like taking 10 steps back in yo…	/r/Divorce_Men	14/12/22 02:31 PM
2	Move to another state or stay? I understand the dilemma of stay vs go. Yes, I agree it’s healthy to learn to be content with where/what you have and also be content being single living alone. Those are crucially important, otherwise, you’ll just bring those same issues. with you. They’ll rear their head when the excitement of moving dies down. On the other hand, if being close to family is the main motivator for the move…go for it. Especially during a time like this, it’s important to be around those who care about you. Now i…	/r/Divorce_Men	13/12/22 04:32 PM
1	Found condoms when getting my stuff. And yes. Hit the weights. Hard!	/r/Divorce_Men	12/12/22 07:45 AM
1	Found condoms when getting my stuff. Dude. It’s not just a punch to the gut. It’s a punch through your gut and having your insides ripped out like a mortal kombat game. It hurts like you never thought it could. I’m so so sorry bro. Here for you and letting you know that you’re not alone.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/12/22 07:44 AM
2	need advice for a whackadoodle situation Dude, this is so tough. My STBXW’s drinking problem gradually got worse throughout our marriage. Her dad and sister both died of liver failure, and I’m watching it happen to her now. But, I stayed in the marriage unhappy because I truly love her. All that did though, was create such a lack of trust and respect for her over the years. Really took a toll on the relationship because even though I loved her, I didn’t respect her. Now we are going through the divorce process. She is the one that file…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/12/22 03:56 AM
2	Starting my new life I feel you my dude. My divorce has been pushed back til February but I’ve been living by myself since March. Just found the energy to get back into the gym again too. Today was leg day…sore as crap right now. Slowly I’m settling into my new future. Hang in there man and stay positive	/r/Divorce_Men	01/12/22 03:46 AM
3	Gentlemen; For those you you who are divorced, did your wife ever give you the "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" speech? If yes, did she end up initiating divorce or did you? Yup. I got the “I love you but I’m not in love with you anymore talk.” Absolutely devastated me and for the foreseeable future. Has destroyed any possibility of me having enough confidence in myself or trust in women to ever want to get into another relationship. I’m 40 with no kids. So, my life, is meaningless as far as my own dreams. Always wanted a family. Never will now. Thanks to that awful woman	/r/Divorce_Men	27/11/22 03:24 AM
6	First week on my own without the wife and kids after separation. Feel unmoored … undisciplined It’s ok dude. You’re in some pain from all of this. And we are designed to bury our feelings and just keep grinding. It’s all we know. You can and have to do that to an extent, but everyone has a point where they can’t anymore. I finally told someone that was outside of my family about the divorce..it was a huge relief and helped me accept the new reality. But hey, if you’ve got nothing going on, sleep in or just stay in bed. If you don’t have the energy to work out, then don’t. If all you can d…	/r/Divorce_Men	24/11/22 01:04 AM
9	I’m in rehab and my wife has opened a new bank account and moved her phone off of our plan She’s just preparing herself for the future and figuring out how she’s going to take care of your kids. Of course she supports you and your sobriety, she loves you. Probably more than you know. But brother, it’s time to shit or get off the pot. Get sober and change your life. Otherwise you’re going to destroy your wife and your kids. It’ll take a long time to gain that trust back, but worth it. Best of luck man.	/r/Divorce_Men	20/11/22 01:24 AM
1	The sense of entitlement is insane - it's like she thinks we're still married! So yeah. The entitlement of having a good dude and provider in their lives is lost somewhere in the marriage. It isn’t fully realized until you’re gone. I feel you brother. Once the anger fades…it turns to sadness. But, hopefully through much work, that sadness reveals your worth. Never stop being a good dude. Never let this change your for the worse. Come out better	/r/Divorce_Men	12/11/22 12:39 AM
1	The sense of entitlement is insane - it's like she thinks we're still married! She’s in the process of filing right now. Has been an alcoholic for years and pretty much incapable of completing everyday life tasks on her own for a long time. I ended up finding love letters from another dude in her nightstand about a year ago. Turns out he’s some drug addict that she met at a bar one night. She’s also seen 2 other dudes to my knowledge. So we separated last March. Living in 2 different cities now about 2 hours away from each other. She went on a Vegas trip a couple months ag…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/11/22 05:56 PM