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NoLawfulness8554 Archive

View 0 posts and 101 comments by NoLawfulness8554 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Do you need an extra pair of hands? Something your parents or hers could help with? You are in the most difficult stretch. I’ve felt the way you’ve described. Things got easier when the youngest got into kindergarten. Until then, I kept my expectations low and jut lived a day at a time. I hope you both get help. Your kids deserve the best of you both.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/24 03:10 AM
7

Stay on track to leave her behind.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 05:15 PM
1

This is a great list and a way to manage expectations.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 05:01 PM
1

She's showing she is not into fairness, apparently. Believe her. Hire a family law attorney that is an animal, and don't accept her first offer.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 03:42 PM
1

She is a no-longer-at-home Mom. Do get an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 03:25 PM
4

Hire an attorney. Then prevent the closing. And borrow against the existing property, buys assets that seem worthless but are lined with gold. I don’t know.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 02:20 AM
6

Your child needs you. The wife - she feels the need for speed. Let the addict go.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 01:30 AM
2

The “but” is the avoidance of accountability.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 09:51 PM
1

Your attorney will have suggestions. Get a good one, and follow his/her advice.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 01:32 PM
2

Here are somethings couple can do with each other to combat the 4 horsemen: https://saintlouisfamilycounseling.com/antidotes-to-the-four-horsemen-or-how-to-repair-strengthen-your-partnership/
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 01:31 PM
3

Being a psychologist - she might make the worst patient of all. Defensiveness - counter this with being accountable with her.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 01:29 PM
1

two things: 1) women initiate 80% of divorces, 2) it's likely that she's is "happy", but feels someone else will make her even happier. However, no one can "make" someone else happy. Each of us is responsible for our own happiness, and a husband cannot fix a wife's unhappiness. Also, men are happier in marriages than the typical woman. Lesbian divorce rates average 75-78%, and gay men are about 38%.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 01:26 PM
2

Can she be vulnerable with you? And own her behavior? And you with her? Maybe start on those.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 12:56 PM
2

I've wondered the same for myself. What I notice is that her girlfriends started divorcing and made dating sound exciting. Trips, expensive dinners, sex. That's her influence now.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 12:54 PM
3

If you do nothing, then you know you'll be divorced. Look up Gottman and the 4 horsemen to see if you both have the behavior that predicts the end.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 12:47 PM
2

Please share - gimmicks? Like falsely filing for restraining orders? I have to know
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 05:07 PM
1

Learn what you can from this. Clearly understand how you helped and hurt the situation. Apologize for you know you did. If she doesn't show the same awareness and accountability, then you know what you need to do.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 05:04 PM
2

Your lawyer would have an educated guess
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/24 06:59 PM
3

I hope your attorney said to have a witness to all conversations with her. Can the Navy put you in BOQ (other housing)?
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 04:11 PM
1

This sucks. I hope you regain your power to move forward. This will pass.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 04:04 PM
1

Appears you have outgrown her, but want her to level up as well. And she just isn’t.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 10:49 AM
8

Hire an attorney for divorce, and a financial advisor. You'll learn a lot when your wife has to disclose her assets. Remove her from joint accounts.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 08:00 PM
1

You've voiced your concerns. She understood them. And is doing nothing. She won't change because you want her to, but only when she sees it in her own best interest. Talk to your attorney, and let go with love. Move on - you have done what you can, and the rest is her choice.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 07:23 PM
5

Yes, it's common. Consult with the ones that you want to prevent your STBXW from using. Once they consult with you, then they can't engage with her.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 07:08 PM
2

Fulfillment by Amazon, and other forms of passive income. It's recommended to have 5 streams of income. Used to be you could sell on eBay and no income was reported.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 06:13 PM
2

Have a witness to your communications. You deserve respect.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 03:45 PM
1

She got what she wanted - kids, and an income. I hope you find a therapist and learn to let go. You deserve to be happy.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 03:40 PM
1

Why would things be different if you reunited now?
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 02:28 PM
5

Disrespect is one of the 4 behavioral predictors of certain divorce. https://www.choosingtherapy.com/four-horsemen/
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 02:18 PM
3

I hope you let go with love. If you don't have kids, you could cut off all contact with her, and regain your sanity.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 01:59 PM
6

She has a history of avoiding the truth and misleading you. She wants to meet men and so she did. I'm not sure you can trust her again unless she has a massive change in her perspective. Through her deeds she has shown you want she wants, and who she is. Believe her.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 01:57 PM
3

Does she not demonstrate vulnerability with you? Without V, she won't be able to reflect on her behavior an own her faults, nor will she be able to have difficult conversations. She will stay in victim mode and blame everyone else for problems she made. I don't envy you. Good luck, and prioritize your daughter's well being.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 01:49 PM
3

Create a trust. Not in your Mom's name. There are companies that do this. Get a prenup, or don't get married.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 11:08 PM
8

It sounds like you are being fair. I'm surprised that you feel sympathy for the woman that is breaking up your home and cutting your time with your children to 50%.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 10:57 PM
5

Stay strong. Have a witness with you for every conversation, and record conversations per your state’s restrictions. Over communicate your boundaries and keep your emotions in check. This sucks. I feel for you. Personally, I’d tell my own FIL that if he ever touches me again, I’ll knock him out. That’s a promise I make to myself. My own FIL isn’t the type, though. Good guy.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/24 03:29 AM
1

I wish for you to get closure, acceptance and serenity. You deserve it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 08:50 PM
1

Make yourself interesting. Be kind. Have boundaries. Do the right thing. Own your vices and virtues and don’t blame others. Have gratitude. Get you finances, health, mental health in order. And keep your grooming impeccable and your house and car clean.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 08:12 PM
1

This awesome. Thank you. Some great tips here.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 08:08 PM
2

Follow your heart. Protect your relationship with your son. And get your own FWBs.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 07:26 PM
2

What was your secret to minimizing the financial damage?
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 06:34 PM
6

Let her go. She’s tainted. Nothing she could “give” you would be genuine or have any lasting value.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 06:07 PM
8

My stbxw also said “it’s up to you to make me fall in love with you”. And she bailed from the couples counseling I setup for us. When my divorce is final, I will tell her that I don’t want to hear her voice, see her face, or receive a text from her for 6 months. That’s what I’m buying with my money. Peace. I hope you cut off your ex. She’s shown you that she will cheat you and doesn’t take accountability for her behavior. Believe her actions.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 05:27 PM
1

Solving for this could be life changing for you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 04:34 PM
1

Tell the guy's wife what you know for certain, and what you suspect.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 08:14 PM
6

The kids are the biggest losers here. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 08:57 PM
1

Find a therapist. Get to the root of your avoidance.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 08:49 PM
1

Your life will get better, either with or without a partner.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 08:44 PM
1

Also, therapy to understand the hurt under the anger. ASAP, try this - from a budhist monk - https://www.wabashcenter.wabash.edu/syllabi/w/wattles/emotionsppt2.htm
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 03:19 PM
2

gratitude, and letting go
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 03:00 PM
2

You add an important point. Ask her if her love language is touch. And I come by this knowledge after a lot of suffering and self reflection, and TONS of books. Wish I'd known these things before I married. Gook luck to you.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 12:17 AM
4

ask how they fight, what they fight about, and how they repair. Do they share their expectations, or let them go unmet and unstated and fester into resentment? Do they "own" their behavior and solutions, or play the victim and blame others for their actions and feelings? Are they kind by choice and not due to emotion? Does she like men? No, really like and respect men? HAS SHE RESOLVED HER CHILDHOOD TRAUMA(S)??? Does she have boundaries to check her behavior against others? Is she grateful and a…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 10:13 PM
3

Get a vasectomy, date how you want, but don't every marry again.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 10:04 PM
2

If he can't prove it, then it isn't proven and can't be used. Take the deal.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 08:18 PM
11

Marriage is only good for children, and financially good for woman. I've had my kids, and might marry again but only if she signs my prenup.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 02:06 PM
3

When I found a diary I didn't know she had, and wasn't labeled as a diary. She had a checklist of things to do (join a dating site, check!; find soulmate - incomplete). Losing her hasn't been a big deal, it's just the idea of what we could have been together. Apparently I'm an unrealistic romantic. Good luck on your journey.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 02:04 PM
7

Therapy. Saying the serenity prayer, and praying for guidance. And hiring an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 02:01 PM
2

She started dating to get a feel for if she "can to better". It's likely that she was happy, but thought another man could make her happier. Once she felt she'd found this guy, she asks for a divorce. Her attorney is the one pushing her to ask for more money. I'm sorry for the loss of your home, for the loss of what you thought was a marriage, and so happy your daughter is with you. I wish you a speedy recovery.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 06:41 PM
5

You can't fix her. I wouldn't even try to diagnose. She wants a life free of you. Give that to her, and more importantly, give that to yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 06:33 PM
1

Agreed
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 05:43 PM
2

You only get to choose how you respond. Make choices that make you proud, and demonstrate your character.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 01:04 PM
1

Get therapy so you can understand your part in this, fix that, and let go with love. Your next relationship will be better when your people picker is better.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 05:22 PM
1

Feminism is driving some of this. My suggestion is to make sure you aren't oversharing, and don't repeat yourself or play the victim.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 05:18 PM
1

I've forgiven my STBXW. She did the best she could for the skills she had. Forgiveness is really a benefit to you, that you give to yourself. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 05:11 PM
2

Maybe she needs to feel that she isn't the cause of this, isn't the one "at fault". So who does she blame then? She might say, "I've really tried. I've done all that I can". That's just a lack of accountability.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 02:50 AM
2

Sorry for your suffering. Good advice, though. Thank you for sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 02:38 AM
7

Do what you want. Or take the opportunity to be kind and help your children how to show appreciation for the woman that helped to raise them.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 01:58 AM
1

She is responsible for her own happiness. Contact an attorney, explore divorce, and try couples counseling.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 09:29 PM
1

Thank you, and as Al-Anon has taught me about other's alcoholism - I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it. I've chosen to let go with love. If she wants to blame me, I let her. If she wants to drink very night, I "let" her. Etc. What I can do is save myself and move on, and let go of resentment and lower my expectations. Choices have consequences.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/24 03:53 PM
1

For her, it it’s all about the emotion. Where is her loyalty and ability to stay committed?
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 08:52 PM
1

I could have written this exact post.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 08:49 PM
1

Ask your lawyer for advice.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 08:48 PM
1

How do they react?
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 08:46 PM
1

I will date again but never marry again.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 08:46 PM
3

My wife is also an alcoholic. Admitted it to our counselor then denied it the next. Active alcoholics don’t do accountability. Al-anon teaches us to let go of them with love.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 08:12 PM
2

Prenup or no marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 08:01 PM
5

Feminism promotes boss-lady mindset for women, not a family-centric mindset. So men reap what feminism sows.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 07:59 PM
7

When the marriage is good, I love it. I really do. When it's bad, it's like a daily death in the family.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 07:09 PM
8

Marriage is for the benefit of children, and often for women. Little benefit for men.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 01:29 PM
3

Me. The db was really a symptom of her being an avoidant person. Her avoidance attachment style resulted in not wanting intimacy, not sharing her wants or complaints, and drinking and antidepressants. The db was just the first symptom.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 08:14 PM
1

Don’t come me to Reddit or the news to find reality
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 09:05 PM
1

“[men] feel they are owed something by the denial spouse”. Really? Is that what alimony is about? And halving his retirement?
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 08:16 PM
0

Talk to your attorney
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 06:24 PM
2

You were already alone, you just didn’t know it yet. You’re feel for your loss. Try talking to a therapist and be kind to yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 02:42 PM
3

Go no contact. This contact might feed your hopes and your ego but it will end badly for everyone.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/23 02:15 PM
7

Women initiate divorce 70+% of the time https://www.thejimenezlawfirm.com/why-women-initiate-divorce-more-often-than-men/
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 03:20 PM
9

Bangkok. And an offshore trust.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 02:53 AM
3

Roughy 80% of divorces are initiated by women. If she is college educated then it’s 90%. At dinner two weeks ago, 4 of them s in a group of 12 are divorcing. ALL were initiated by the wives. ALL.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 07:14 PM
1

The French have it all figured out. Half your age plus 7. So 42M can go down to 28 yo. Sounds right to me.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 02:52 AM
1

Men only like fit women because they have a need for validation? Please expand on that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/23 03:04 PM
1

If I’d known this, my 15 yo boy self would’ve sautéed with Ms 30yo English teacher. I had such a crush on her.
/r/MensRights06/11/22 05:38 PM
2

PROCHOICE!
/r/MensRights06/11/22 05:33 PM
1

Document everything. And go to the police. Then leave the back door open, a knife of the floor, and sit in the dark with Smith and Wesson
/r/MensRights06/11/22 05:26 PM
1

My STBX wife came to Reddit for sympathizers, not feedback.
/r/MensRights06/11/22 05:25 PM
1

She has an opinion. I don’t care
/r/MensRights06/11/22 05:18 PM
2

Fight the woke powers. And she can STFU
/r/MensRights06/11/22 05:15 PM
1

I agree - you don’t need to provide a rebuttal. They won’t be persuaded by anything you say. Save your energy for something that matters.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates06/11/22 04:58 PM
2

I’m in the US and have this exact same dilemma. Ultimately I’m moving forward with a divorce so I can get my life back.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/21 09:22 PM
5

Get a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/21 12:56 AM
7

Get a lawyer. They can feel expensive but the alternative is more expensive
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/21 08:39 PM
5

Go back in time, have her sign a prenuptial
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/21 07:38 PM
1

Yes! This
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/21 05:18 PM
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