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NoSleep4OldMan Archive

View 0 posts and 133 comments by NoSleep4OldMan on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Another possibility, is that you are indecisive about which decisions to make in completing the project themselves. As if you have to get them exactly right to proceed towards completion. Ask yourself why these projects are hard to complete, figure out some other way to engage the subject, because you're self-loathing is really annoying and unattractive.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/24 01:12 PM
1

You bemoan your failures repeatedly, without being introspective on why you are failing. You write as though you are just lazy, and if that's it, you're just wasting our time. But if the problem is that you feel guilty for saying no to other things, and therefore you don't have control over your own schedule and time, then that's a more interesting problem you should think about.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/24 01:06 PM
6

Bottom line, you are more loyal to your mom than you are to your wife. There is no slow way to fix this. You have to leave the entanglement your mom created for you long ago, inappropriately treating you as her surrogate lover. You're wife is not being bitchy at all. She is just responding appropriately to the awful experience of playing second fiddle to your mom. Stop it. You probably need professional help to make this happen. But you are in the wrong sub. Go to AskMrp.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/24 10:58 AM
2

She's reading your mood as a lack of self confidence and trying to boost up her sad little man. Pretty unattractive. That's pretty far from admiration for a guy who has his shit together. But what do you think about yourself? If you are doing the work, start respecting the man you are becoming and looking forward to seeing that dude in the mirror.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/05/24 02:06 PM
3

I read your post and can't figure out why you are here. What are you working on? What isn't working? Goals?
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/24 09:42 PM
4

On one hand, you are doing some serious introspection, paying attention to your motivations, learning on the fly, and applying some STFU corrections. On the other hand, your hamster is wearing me out reading your post. Something in it reminded me of the BSG post that maybe you should read: https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/s/Lpb9h0BPxN
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/24 01:12 PM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/s/3WqsiJdrXI Cuddles are not Kino. Huge covert contract potential. Do what is fun, natural for you with OI.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/03/24 03:17 PM
2

Well, you know your wife, and you should know yourself enough to consider whether all her insults and complaints are on the mark or not. It sounds like you aren't triggered to be defensive, so it sounds like you don't agree with her assessment of you. So if you're really an attractive high SMV dude with his shit together, and she's spouting all this nonsense, then maybe she's a head case, and in for a rude awakening if she walks. But if you are not those things, then maybe she only speaks the tr…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/24 12:51 PM
2

If you want her to stop talking, stop rewarding the bad talking with your attention. Learn to AA, fog, and mostly to STFU. Just be ready for the hamsters (hers, and yours). Accept what you can and can't control.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/24 01:38 PM
3

You are all over the place with this. Set a boundary, or don't. At OYS 1, you don't have the frame or attraction to insist on anything. Live like your LTR is gone, lift, Sidebar, and STFU. Your revenge fantasy to bring buddies to a strip club is pathetic... And all in her frame.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/24 08:11 PM
3

Too passive and vague. What can you actually do this week that increases your face to face time, then reflect on the experience?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/24 05:50 PM
3

What is your plan for establishing more social connection? Do you have interest where a meet-up would be available? Have you checked Facebook groups for local events? You stated a goal with no actionable plan to achieve it.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/24 02:43 PM
4

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/s/MCMv5VoVp5 Great post on abundance can help you with what 3KL is pointing out.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/24 02:10 PM
4

Great FR, and very helpful for me. I am following a similar path and being about 2 years in, am seeing similar waypoints. That iron rule for Christians is a killer, and the commenter who said Christians' cute of marriage sets us up for a deep and phase and disappointment was spot on. My faith is still intact, but it's not experienced or practiced according to the script I was raised to follow. Losing the Good Portion by Leon Podles both shattered and freed me to see how men who did the heavy lif…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/24 04:19 AM
2

Good that you are reporting what you did and not just goals or plans. Try reflecting on what those actions are teaching you. What results are you getting out what is a struggle with getting it out. If no results and no struggle, then no point.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/23 01:01 PM
2

This isn't the advice or the place you are looking for.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/23 12:54 PM
1

You mentioned twice that you didn't want to tell her about getting taken for granted, and implied 'yet'. You are angry, and anger phase reading will help you, but talking to her about this won't help. You probably won't be able to resist the urge to try eventually (ask me how I know), but such complaints are needy and unattractive. STFU. You also mention withdrawing all attention and affection. That sounds like your anger wanting to punish. Just let her initiate affection and then give it to her…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/23 12:30 PM
2

Hah! I understand, but what I wrote actually is the cheat code. Simple test... You doing what is fun... And it's attractive.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/23 04:36 AM
1

OI game would be doing stuff that is fun for you regardless of her response.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/23 04:33 PM
7

This insight was really important for me early on, as my nice guy programming interpreted kino from MMSLP as a slightly more alpha version of cuddles. It is embarrassing and gross, but I gave cuddles, called it kino, and expected sex in return. The MMSLP lesson to sexualize your relationship is solid, but don't fall into the neediness trap. My initiations made my wife feel smothered. I didn't need cuddles, I wanted sex. Women like cuddles we are told, so covert contract, and boom, angry man wond…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/07/23 10:17 PM
3

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2tztip/the_very_beginnings_of_married_red_pill/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1
/r/MarriedRedPill17/07/23 12:20 PM
1

Kino backfires if used too early if you are not attractive, comes across as needy, or obviously tries to warm her up for sex. Look up Horns' post on cuddles aren't free. Make sure to read all the comments too since many misunderstand it.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/23 08:17 PM
1

You have a lot of work to do. Start by reading the intro post about 5 times: https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/acvzgx/steels_guide_to_married_red_pill/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1
/r/MarriedRedPill10/07/23 09:31 PM
1

If you are considering SSRIs, it could also level out your emotions as you navigate the job change. You are generally rocking it, so would hate to see your emotions derail all you have going for you.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/23 01:45 PM
2

Since some part of you wants to have a relationship with your dad, could you consider applying what you are learning here to how you relate to him? Rather than cutting him off, you could allow your interactions with him to teach you pretty valuable lessons about your frame, your boundaries, and maybe what it is you want from him.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/23 01:40 PM
2

You are getting closer, but notice your choice of words "state that it will happen". You think your words will do the work. STFU, and just initiate with OI. Be playful and have fun with it through the day. Stating what will happen is boring and reeks of power trip that part of her will feel obligated to resist.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/23 03:36 AM
5

Yes, to be honest, this seems familiar, like we've been here before. I recall you seeming quite confident on things before you deleted out last time, when RPeed shows up with his impressive ball busting insight and wit and broke your glass jaw. You had contributed a lot in responding to lots of dudes getting started on here, including me, so it's just a bit painful to watch. Would be exciting to see you overcome this.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/23 10:39 PM
2

Your SO is giving you a great opportunity to work on being your own judge. The way you write about it, you give way too many fucks on what she judges to be okay or of value. Imagine being merely amused or annoyed with what she gets judgmental about, and that it gives you an opening to tease her about it. Self validate and let her think and feel about things whatever she wants. So be grateful for the opportunity she is giving you, for this will be huge for your frame and interior freedom in so ma…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/23 02:25 PM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/ecc508/can_you_keep_a_secret_a_primer_on_power/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/23 02:48 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/acvzgx/steels_guide_to_married_red_pill/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button Required reading. You were right to not talk about fight club.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/23 11:11 PM
1

It sounds like you are here looking to solve your wife's mental health problem, or how you make it your problem, by not knowing how to respond to it. After reading your OYS, I know tons about here and her family... Not much about you. See the problem? For help with the wife, read a book like How to Love People with Borderline Personality Disorder, and save us all the time of skipping your future OYS. If you want to work on yourself, come on back if you can Sidebar, Lift, and STFU.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/23 12:50 AM
5

But note how you need to point out that 10% isn't useful. This just proves his point. Each time you get defensive or dismissive, you lose. If you do this to Internet dudes offering to help you, imagine how strong it comes on in interactions with, I don't know, maybe your wife? Again, muzzy was kind enough to respond so thoroughly... What a gift!! Just say thank you and then shut the fuck up.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/23 02:03 PM
1

Why are you adding Cardio? How does that fit your weight gain goals?
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/23 11:09 PM
1

Disagree. OP admitted he was unattractive. Why expect her to respond differently. Her behavior now, not words seem to tell a new story. OP may not be satisfied with it, but he is correct that he needs to figure out what he wants.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/01/23 07:58 PM
2

OYS #21 Mid 40s married almost 20 with kids 5'10", 167lb, 16%bf (navy) Lifts Bench 135 5x9, OHP 80 5x10, squat 295 5x5, DL 300 5x9 Bulking is going well as I'm hitting upper body lifts 3 times per week. Shirts that were form fitting now make me look like I'm a try hard. Keeping them around for the next cut. Sex Wife bought new lingerie for Christmas (first time since we were married) and she picked well, and looked great. Had great sex both times she wore it and no attitude problems to distract.…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/23 01:56 AM
2

OYS #20 46 married almost 20 with kids. 5' 10", 162 lb, 14 percent navy. Bulking is slow, but gaining strength/volume. New PR 325 squat, bench 135 5x8, OHP 75 5x8, DL 300 5x8. 75 lb from 1000lb club. Reading/Sex https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/a9pxnh/good_sex_requires_emotion/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button In the post above and great comment discussion that follow, u/man_in_the_world goes deep into the importance …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/12/22 02:37 PM
3

OYS #19 Mid 40s, married almost 20 with kids. 5'10", 163, 14%bf (Navy) Hit a long time goal of 400 DL this week. Going to continue bulk, lifting heavy and eating heavy, and pushing maxes toward 1000lb club. Sex Continuing on last week's push towards driving what I want and paying attention to what is going on in my head. Both sessions, I struggled with my arousal level even though she was following all my direction for positions, and was even in a good mood. No catty responses, no eye rolls. Eve…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/22 12:33 PM
9

Probably more appropriate for r/AskMRP, but look into hormone replacement options for her once she's recovered. You've just begun to get your shit together. Women's libido is way more complicated than ours. Plenty are sexually active after menopause.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/22 12:20 PM
1

I agree with the lack of congruence. I'm afraid telling her would come out as the FM(TWIWTBF)OFY speech. It would feel good saying it, but would also lack congruence. I do want sex with her. Going to have to take this time to work on my mental models and keep trying new things, see how my internals change.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/12/22 08:02 PM
3

Think about how you are spending your time in the moments she asks for help. Is what you are already doing more important to you than what she needs done? If not, why weren't you already doing that task? If you weren't doing anything, was that intentional, or do you loiter around waiting for the boss to give you something to do? But really, rather than hamstering about whether it's a compliance test, ask yourself if it's worth doing for it's own sake. If it isn't, and you do it anyway, you get t…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/22 04:07 AM
3

OYS #18 Mid 40s, married almost 20 with kids. 5'10", 165, 14% bf Navy. 200 bench, 315 squat, 385 DL. OYS 17 was the first in 6 months a few weeks ago. I've taken to heart that if I haven't done anything different to report results/struggle, further OYS is pointless. But I'd been stuck on what to do different, and got complacent with sex being always available but low quality most the time. u/sea-tease posted about second anger phase, and I think the dynamic fits. So here is what I did last night…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/22 01:08 AM
3

It's because I don't know how to stop a shitty attitude from being a buzzkill. My enthusiasm to take responsibility for good sex tanks and I just finish and move on. Saw a great shirt today on a dude...said " Nobody cares... Work harder". I know I've got work to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/22 10:35 PM
8

Great post. Would love to read your FR on creating that sex life in the absence of enthusiasm from her. How did you grow your DNGAF to the point of enjoying yourself? Makes sense that once you are clearly going to enjoy sex regardless of her response, the pressure is gone for her to give anything but a natural response.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/22 04:47 AM
2

Good frame would be having the freedom to hear input from your crew on a big decision (home schooling) with confidence you can consider the input before making a final decision. A captain looks out for his crew. Your absolute authority schtick smacks of ego protection. A man with a sturdy frame doesn't need to swing his authority stick around like a retard.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/22 07:35 AM
1

OYS #17 Mid 40s, 5' 10", 165lb, married ~20 with 4 kids Took a 6 month break from OYS. Progress and insight to report as well as frustrations and failures. Spiritual I've settled down quite a bit on this area of my struggle. I've been leading my family in teaching/discussion sessions where I can intentionally pass on to them what insight I have experienced as essential to the faith and family life. Insights from the Masters program I went through years ago, and those of writers like Dalrock and …
/r/MarriedRedPill31/10/22 12:43 PM
2

Your leadership style in this interaction is to insist that you talk about it and come to an agreement, mostly around what she wants and what you can afford. What do you want? Does that matter to you? Another option would be to have thought it through and presented her a few options you find acceptable/desirable. If she has good ideas on how to improve those, then great... She's contributing. Your use of WISNIFG tools is working if it is working for you to keep your head. You seem to base it jus…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/22 04:27 AM
3

No. She shit tested you to see if you were for real, and you failed. You got your fee fee's hurt that your plan didn't work, and responded like a woman. If you wanted her, stay with the desire regardless of what is coming out of her mouth. Good time for AA, fogging, tease a bit, and if she can't get out of her own bad mood, well she misses out on the prize (guess who that is), but you are fine with that because you live with abundance and have plenty of good shit to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/22 04:05 AM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/70a8f1/abundance/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/22 05:15 PM
2

Pretty normal for your focus to be on fixing your sex problem at this stage. Anger normal as well. Do you like your wife? Are you attracted to her? Anger at God and the Church for dead bedroom is also standard. I know you have lots of reading to do, but add Dalrock's blog, Losing the Good Portion, and Rational Male - Religion if you need help processing real Christian Marriage vs what we were all sold. See my OYS history for some faith struggles since Seatease deleted his for some thoughts. You …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/22 05:13 PM
4

From one Christian to another, you need to SHUT.THE.FUCK.UP! Your ego is so weak that you can't stand for her to think she is in control (well maybe she is) but can't you see how you are demanding she acknowledged (validate) verbally how you are the man now, and she can leave if she don't like it. Rambo 101 on OYS 3 is sad to see. You need to read up on the nice card while you lift, read the fucking sidebar, and STFU, till you don't need her to validate who's in control. Lead your family as a ma…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/22 12:42 PM
1

As a top 1% earner, you can afford a good psychologist to help you and your wife. Issues are too numerous to point out, and really painful to read.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/09/22 05:05 PM
2

Overt dread is for retards. https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/igf65m/the_dread_contract_and_scoreboard_how_to_frame/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
/r/MarriedRedPill30/08/22 12:37 PM
4

It's like Mod Appreciation Month, coinciding with Flair Appreciation Month. Sometimes experiments help you remember how good you had it.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/08/22 11:21 AM
2

Rollo is clear in the opening credits of his respect for Dalrock and his wish that the book could have been cowritten with him (Dalrock declined). So it seems his attempt to codify Dalrock's main points into his own RM reading of the world and the Church. The writing style is more patient and scholarly than the first RM, so maybe less course and less hard to read for for men who aren't jumping down the rabbit hole, drunk with outrage and vindication at finally reading truth. Thanks for the reply…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/22 02:53 AM
1

Also recommend Losing the Good Portion by Leon Poddles. And RM Religion.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/08/22 02:41 AM
1

What a great gift AlphaSprouts gave you with that reply. I'll just highlight a few things that stuck out to me and leave a link to a classic. https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/ecc508/can_you_keep_a_secret_a_primer_on_power/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share Your intention to stop unattractive behavior (like unwanted conversations) should be fundamentally because you find them unattractive. The way you phrased it sounded like you're in their frame. You tiptoed into the realiz…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/08/22 01:23 PM
2

Based on your descriptions, you have pretty good self awareness, at least after the fact. But one thing you don't highlight clearly in your takeaways, is your struggle to regulate your emotions, or to be more clear, not be ruled by them. In several of your stories, you respond to your feels like a woman with BPD tendencies. Feelings show up uninvited, and in the moment you are a slave to them. While you are drinking your 13th cup of STFU this week, (put duck tape over your mouth if you have to) …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/22 04:17 AM
3

Read the Pinned intro post by Steel at least 3 times before posting. Not sure how you missed it. It's fucking amazing and couldn't be easier to find.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/22 03:33 PM
2

I appreciate your FR on emotions. The discussions on DEVI for emotions are something I've been focusing on in my reading lately, and often focus on emotions regarding the sex itself, rather than what you feel towards your woman. To enjoy the emotions your woman brings because she adds value, or is a good companion, or is delightful is hard in the early anger phases. And the quality of your feels coming from listening didn't seem beta since you already established enough abundance to where no CC …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/07/22 02:48 PM
3

Good first OYS. I agree you need to calibrate on expressing your needs. While being overt and not so butt hurt as before, it's still needy and unattractive to be touching her all the time when it's unwanted...again because you NEEEED her. I think fogging would have been better here, or just be playful and tease her. But ask the honest question of yourself. What would it be like to act on desire instead of needs? There are principals you will read about here that the relationship is her responsib…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/22 02:52 PM
3

RP doesn't have goals, it is just a praxeology, explaining what works and what doesn't. We are individually responsible for what we do with that knowledge.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/22 01:40 PM
8

What is your reflection on "The Stay Plan is the Go Plan" ? You seem to assume you cannot experience freedom while married to live a life of freedom. Your thoughts on freedom are fairly vague... Freedom to do what? Be specific. Is it really your wife keeping you from living a satisfying life? Remember, wherever you go, there YOU are. If you are not strong enough to live well as a married man, you probably aren't strong enough to live well as a divorced one either.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/22 03:31 AM
4

But why DEER about it with this response and try to make yourself look better to a bunch of Internet retards, making yourself look pathetic, and thereby confirming u/BobbyPeru was right? Because maybe you want people to know how much you've changed internally damnit, and no one sees and no one cares. It's the hard bitter pill of self validation being the only validation worth anything. If you've really changed internally, then shut the fuck up when some flaired dude whose done the work offers yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/22 11:56 AM
4

You say you failed because of her response. What would non contingent success look like? Going alone? Bring a buddy, and have a great time... Her loss...
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/22 08:51 PM
1

Why do you want to change? You seem somewhat okay with things as they are. If that's true, will you find the discipline to do the hard work? Like establishing a diet plan and sticking to it? And learning to lift weights rather than use machines? And choosing a program that gives you a chance at a body recomposition? Most of us retards find our way here angry, at our wits end, maybe driven by that to do some work. I'm interested to see if your prevention schema bears any fruit for you in the comi…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/05/22 05:08 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/acvzgx/steels_guide_to_married_red_pill/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share It's stickied right on the front page. And you can read a half dozen OYS comments here to see a general format that is a starting point. Compare those to what you just posted and try again next week (if you are not banned).
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/22 01:05 AM
2

Which OYS is this for you? Next week, name which BFA you tackled and what you learned from your success or failure. Assuming this is OYS 1, make sure to work on STFU. Your priority of establishing or finding your mission seems way premature. Your mission should be to lift, sidebar, and STFU until you can say you respect yourself and have stopped being unattractive.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/22 02:53 AM
1

Owning your criticism, shaming, and lack of praise seems pretty huge. Feel some compassion for what she's had to deal with all this time, but think through what would replace all that negative energy if you manage to stop doing that. Are you fun to be around? Do you enjoy your life and the people in it? "Be attractive, don't be unattractive" should be your motto, but do it for yourself. You've been shaming and criticizing all this time why? Probably need to name a few of the reasons to be able t…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/22 02:42 PM
2

This is a good execution of principals in WISNIFG, where he describes parenting principals of giving kids freedom to feel however they want about the work, but that you want them to do it because you want them to do it. This way, your wife doesn't have to change, she just gets to make her man happy.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/22 01:42 PM
2

There is a lot of room between autistic silence, and victim puking. Do the reading on the sidebar, especially STFU posts to give you a vision for what this can look like for the early stage of your journey. I get the asserting my needs temptation as well, but it just leaves you needy, and makes her the one who has to meet your needs. Envision yourself instead as a confident man with desires rather than needs, who pursues those desires playfully, and energetically, and has the abundance in life t…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/22 01:35 PM
2

I don't get the whole "I deserve blah blah.." temptation. Entitlement bullshit. And why are you talking? You need to read sidebar links on STFU. Steele's intro to MRP alone covers this well. Before blowing up your marriage, try not being repulsive to her for 6 months and reevaluate. Simple things. Be attractive, don't be unattractive. You have good self awareness on this front.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/22 05:19 PM
1

Go over to AskMRP for questions.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/22 05:13 PM
1

Seeking perfect methodologies can lead to analysis paralysis. And as Pook says, perfect is boring (though for a different category). Better to pick a solid program designed to meet your needs, and be disciplined to stick to it rather than second guessing it because it isn't perfect.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/22 05:13 PM
4

Why am I up at 11:30 when I should be sleeping to be ready for my 5 AM alarm for basketball reading through endless OYS comments? Because of comments like this, like golden fleece left by the charging rams of the gods charging through the brambles of all us retards trying to make sense out of life. We hunt and hunt for it, and each bit sustains and helps us grow a bit more, believe a bit more. Thank you, truly for sharing your gifts.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/22 04:34 AM
1

OYS #16 Mid 40s, 5' 10", 157lb, married ~20 with 4 kids Physical Playing more basketball just because I fucking love it. Reassessing goals with lifting to be basketball focused, ie, backing off volume on leg workouts to shorten recovery for basketball, and adding upper body lifts and volume. After reading up on fast vs slow bulk strategies, I realize I've been stuck at 157, 14ish bf for months, being in no man lands as far as calories go. I'm content for now to stay fit and lean for summer, enjo…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 02:21 PM
6

Small reminder to not use MRP/TRP terms with your wife. Super easy to do some googling to figure out what you are up to. I'd never heard the term 'shit test' till I took the plunge. Don't talk about fight club.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/22 12:04 AM
1

Being under the authority of a worthy leader is not contrary to masculinity. Soldiers are not lesser men for following orders. The book will show that while extremely influential and prominent voices from every corner have promoted the feminine/receptive nature as the required state for all mankind, these voices detracted from what the Church and the Bible actually taught rather than magnified it. Be patient with the tension you feel between the red pill truths and this feminine version of Catho…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/22 03:16 AM
5

I'm right with you on this one. I'll just share where my thoughts have been going lately as I wrestle with this and the quality content this week from 3KL and this post. I've been pondering the phrase "self evident", like what Jefferson wrote on the Declaration of Independence, understanding that his society understood certain truths and didn't care to debate them with those who challenged them. What are the things that have intrinsic value I hold to be self evident? Whatever they are, they do n…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/22 01:41 AM
1

It's a good challenge, so I don't mind the projecting, and they are important questions. The actions and interests are not incongruent. These are the things I'm into and enjoy, it's just that when sex is the primary goal, for me, I couldn't enjoy them sufficiently through all the disappointment of not being fulfilled sexually. The lifting, wardrobe, teeth, and such changes are closer to failures of this, in that I was primarily doing them to fix my sexual problem, but now that they are done, I e…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/22 06:23 PM
1

Yeah, early in the process, we don't want to hear that we won't care so much about sex. We are so focused on it as the highest good, that dynamite falls on deaf ears. Certainly was for me (as my OYS this week covers), so great timely post u/ThreeKindsOfLucky
/r/MarriedRedPill08/04/22 01:11 AM
1

Thanks for your thoughts, on point as usual. I'm admitting it to myself and documenting it here. I really would have denied it before, which shows the brain's power to fool itself. Probably because I sincerely didn't/don't care about her approval, I just wanted the sex. So that's a different flavor of outcome dependence centered on her. You are right that speaking now with drained balls is easier, but I was in this shift before the weekend, and the sex while good, just confirmed that it isn't en…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/22 12:24 AM
3

OYS #15 Mid 40s married almost 20, with 4 kids 5'10" 158 lb, 14 %bf (Navy). Squat 315, bench 185, deadlift 355. (Goal: 300 / 200 / 400). These are new PRs for bench and deadlift. Reading: Listening to Rian Stone's Sidebar series. 1 Psalm per day, Ecclesiasties Turning Point and Mini FR I am finally ready to admit that I've been doing it all for her. I've held the dream of fulfilling sex life with my wife as the highest good, and therefore as my God for too long. I've been lying to myself that I …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/22 04:15 AM
1

Just put the lifts you actually do rather than a calculated 1 rmax.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/03/22 01:54 AM
1

Since you are curious, I'm just pointing out that she is a good wife and her wanting to meet my needs is good. Not how I wanted it to come about in that it would be more fun and hotter sex if it was more about mutual desire. But being realistic, her energy and commitment to meeting needs will only go so far and for so long. Still gotta do the work, but I wrote that when reflecting on gratitude for sleep. See my addendum above to see how fleeting it is.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/22 01:39 AM
1

Addendum After writing this yesterday evening, I had one of my bad nights, so I want to pull it apart while the memory is fresh. I got home late from work (10:30) and everyone is asleep. I don't recall being interested as I'm driving home, but I notice our bedroom door is shut all the way, which is unusual, so my hopeful hamster starts running with thinking she might be naked under the covers to welcome me home. So now any tired feelings I might fall asleep quickly for my early alarm for basketb…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/22 01:33 AM
2

OYS #14 Mid 40s married almost 20, with 4 kids 5'10" 158 lb, 14 %bf (Navy). Squat 315, bench 175, deadlift 275 5x8 OHP 60 5x10 Getting back to full lifting with wrist healing up, so working toward getting DL back to where I was pre injury. I want to see where my max is at to see if I can hit my old high school targets for football that I had never reached. Alternating 5x10 and 5-3-1 till I reach 200 bench and 400 squat, then set new goal. Reading/Spiritual Starting each day with a psalm. I find …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/03/22 01:58 AM
1

I've been reflecting on your post a lot over the last week. The indoctrination stems from extrapolating clear direction from our authority to encompass all or most aspects of our lives. Commandments for example aren't things you reflect on with a 'should' mindset. They are in the do, or do not, category. If you want to claim Good as your author, then you follow his commandments. The burdensome extrapolation is from being told that a good follower should not want a b or c, and should be doing x y…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/22 12:47 AM
3

Thinking of how to have fun with her stupid game...an AA response of, oh yeah, I'll kiss you, but it's going to be long, wet, with lots of tongue... Or just grab her and dramatic dip kiss..I don't know, whatever would be fun and free for you.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/03/22 01:15 PM
2

How can you have read Steele's epic post that many times and not mention STFU? Everytime you reach for a fork, ask yourself if you've already had your hourly cup of STFU yet first.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/22 02:35 PM
1

Thanks for the links. I think giving comfort (she really wanted to know things were okay between us) when in an anger phase is really hard. I couldn't think of any congruent way to do that, so went the route I did. As I take responsibility for how things are going, my anger should subside and I hope to become a man who knows things are okay between us because I make them so. Therefore giving comfort would be congruent...natural. Your comments on the 1000 club have me some goals to pursue that re…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/22 04:38 AM
2

When it was my turn to share with the group, I wanted to share something authentic, as making something up or completely hiding isn't me at all, so I made the quick assessment that this book's insight wasn't too directly fight club to be dangerous. What I learned in this is that it was the fact that I processed this with my friend and not her is what triggered her anxiety about our connection. It didn't matter so much what the book was about. So I confirmed to her that my friend is a better fit …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/22 04:26 AM
2

OYS #13 Mid 40s, married almost 20, 4 kids. 5'10", 157 at 14% bf, (Navy) Physical Almost back to pre injury on squats at 225 lb 5x10, max 305. Still pain with other for lifts, so still hitting first pushups hard for hypertrophy. Basketball twice a week. Eating enough to slowly add weight, particularly on lifting days. Reading Most of sidebar complete. Spiritual Finished the book Leaving the Good Portion, and now listening to it again. As I wrote last OYS 2 weeks ago, transitioning my mental mode…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/22 11:55 AM
2

I think you would benefit from sharing a bit more detail about the hard moments to stfu, and what is happening for you in those moments to make you start talking. You name your anger as being properly placed at yourself, which is remarkable at OYS 1 (I'm too retarded to internalize this part that fast), or you are angry at a lot more and don't want to say it. Could be a blind spot and a reason you are breaking your stfu goal.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/22 04:00 AM
2

When I wrote that I was less angry, more accurate to say my anger is more centered on myself now than on her. Angry at myself for needing sex to sleep. Angry at myself for being bad at letting us to good sex consistently. I've woken her up quite often in these moments recently, and it's almost always just bad sex that helps me sleep but reinforces my anger at being bad at this. So it was my choice to not repeat that at 2AM, so I initiated at 5 AM instead, was in good spirits, though exhausted, a…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/22 02:51 AM
5

OYS #12 Mid 40s, married almost 20 with 4 kids Physical 5'10", 156 lbs, 14 % bf (Navy). Squat 2x285. Started light bench and deadlift to test wrist. Pain with the bench and weakness with dl, but acceptable to build from here. OHP 50 lb 5x10. Played basketball with new group of guys and played all out for the first time since breaking the wrist. Felt amazing to be in the flow and can't wait to get back out there. Reading Completed most of sidebar. Currently reading Losing the Good Portion: Why Me…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 09:32 AM
2

OYS 12 Mid 40s, married almost 20, with 4 kids 5'10" 161, 15 % bf (Navy). Squat 225 5x8, Pushups 6x13 (wrist isn't ready for bench), OHP 45 5x10 Wrist getting better, but still some pain even while squatting. Starting lite on OHP. Noticed some weight gain, probably from night time lifting and protein shake before bed, but also from lifting heavier again after the injury layoff. Sleep I was seeing some success getting good sleep lifting to exhaustion in evenings and supplementing with melatonin t…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/22 09:12 PM
2

Something seems really off here. Reading back in your early OYS from 6 months ago, she blew up at you over some small thing and hasn't recovered. You didn't say what the small thing was at the time, but is it worth revisiting to see if you've totally misread the situation?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/22 03:50 PM
1

I think the conflation of our marriage with our relationship with God comes from the clear use of the metaphors for Christ the bridegroom, the Church the bride. Our Sacraments are viewed as being not just symbolic of future fulfillment, but a substantive foretaste. So I think we've gone too far by lining up the whole relationship according to passages about God's relationship to us. Helpful in correcting this are somewhat recent writings by John Paul II, which reminds us that man's primary role …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/22 06:47 PM
1

Just a fellow retard trading notes here, not giving advice... but the E and I in DEVI seems lacking in your engagement. Are you able to express and give emotions connected with your desire? Do you like her? It's not easy to tell in your description. I've been encouraged here not to let my wife's attitude affect my desire, so there could be room there for you as well to wonder if you too easily let her kill the mood. Hard to do, but if you were desiring to fuck before her shitty comment, has much…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/22 03:49 AM
1

Thanks for the reply. I'm working out the challenges internally to shifting to these models. It's not pretty to spell this out, but it's real. In the old way, the prize is to be loved despite your flaws and with a promise that you don't have to work for love... In fact if you do, it isn't love at all. Agape, perhaps, but mainly you anticipate living from a frame of gratitude that someone (God, or your woman) graces you with a love you don't deserve. This economy is so fundamental to Christian pe…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/22 03:27 AM
2

You should put more detail here about your initiations for the vets to offer more help. You only said you joke around, so it sounds like you aren't serious when you initiate. If that's true, why should she take you seriously? If she hard nos persistent, serious initiations over and over, won't you be moving things towards some kind of change?
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/22 02:46 PM
1

OYS #11 Mid 40s, married almost 20 with 4 kids. 5'11", 156, 14% bf (Navy). Squat 225 5x6, pushups 6x12. (Rehabbing broken wrist, so getting standard lifts back in as I can) Anger / Sleep Reached out to one of the vets here about struggles with Faith life, and landed on fact of still being angry. So I'm working to name all that I'm angry about. Much is standard stuff from sidebar, so I'm trying to make it personal to work it out. Angry that life, love, and sex don't work like I was told they do. …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/01/22 03:11 AM
2

Sorry for your loss man. Thanks for what you contribute here. I really like what you wrote about congruence with your emotions. Loss is hard as hell and anyone throwing shit at you in times like these can go to hell.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/01/22 02:02 PM
7

Bravo. I'm saving this. Thank you for taking the time to share. This is instructive to all us retards stuck in one of the many anger phases MRP dishes out. I appreciate the reflection on the moral side of sacrifice. It creates room for a man to choose to give it as a gift, which has the precondition of expecting no real gratitude in return.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/21 01:53 PM
3

How do you tell the difference between her taking care of you (mothering), and her trying to add value to your life? If enthusiastic sex is mothering to you, are there deeper issues here?
/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/21 07:02 PM
2

Thanks for this. Your write up digs deeper into the dynamics of how attraction starts and changes in relationships than anything I've read yet. Reflections on communication as unilateral self disclosure remind me of some of what Schnarch wrote in passionate marriage, which I read for grad school, and was the most rp thing I had prior to RM and MRP. I will digest and consolidate it, and I think this will help me with my anger more than anything else.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/21 11:10 PM
2

Read it. Evidence to the contrary on really reading it. Starting it over today. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/21 01:49 PM
1

OYS #10 Mid 40s, married almost 20, 4 kids. 5'10", 157, 15% bf (Navy). Smith Machine Squats 200 lbs 5x10. Reading Most of sidebar complete. Reading My Secret Garden, and targeting top MRP posts on relevant topics for my goals. (Abundance, Frame) Goals Build abundance mentality in my marriage. I realized how hard I worked over the Thanksgiving weekend to make sure everything was in place for sex inspite of difficult logistics with family gatherings, so when her shitty attitude of annoyed complian…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/21 04:48 AM
2

Quick note on whole milk. Do you need all the fat that's giving you or are you just drinking it for the protein? You should measure your BF with Navy method at least and decide if you want to cut some of that fat out by going to lower fat milk.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/21 02:20 PM
2

I saved this comment because you really captured something here. I hope the OP recognizes the gift you've given him. Keep it up!
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/21 12:19 PM
1

Is there any pattern to the insomnia as far as when it is more likely? Think of variables like last time you had sex, diet, themes on your mind the day before.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/21 09:45 PM
2

OYS #9 Mid 40s, married 18, 4 kids Physical 5'10", 158 lbs, 14%bf (Navy). Lifts thrown off right now due to broken arm (basketball). Using smith and hack squat machines keep legs honest twice per week. Cast comes off next week, and will resume BBB once I can safely grip the bar again. Mental Last week's feedback on being focusing on working on being Dominant over self rather than wife was pivotal. Showed me my investment in her response and gave me a clearer vision for where I want to go, to Dom…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/21 03:18 PM
1

I only opened up about the impact of the loss of my mentor/father figure to Covid, attributed my anger and struggle to see the point of prayer to that loss, mainly for the pain it is putting his wife and grandchildren through. I don't talk about fight club. Only my best friend is along for this ride. I'd love to PM you some on this side of it sometime to hear about the other side as you call it. Thanks for asking.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/21 12:53 AM
2

Can't thank you enough for this reply. That link is sidebar worthy... Life changing stuff.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/21 12:05 AM
2

OYS #8 Mid 40s, married almost 20, 4 kids. 158lbs (down from 172), 14 %bf (navy). Lifts:. Broke my arm playing basketball, so I'm only able to do my squats on the Smith Machine. It feels different and weight is down over my regular 5x10 for free weights. Read: most of sidebar Reading: My Secret Garden Back from well deserved ban for not doing anything about my shit. So here is what I've done and the results so far: Got Viagra prescription and have been experimenting with timing and dosage. It de…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/21 03:19 PM
2

OYS #7 Mid 40s, Married 18, 4 kids under 16 Physical 5'10", 160lb, 16%bf (Navy). Still cutting with 40-40-20 P-C-F macro, though not tracking heavily my intake. Squat 225 5x11, deadlift 300 5x8, bench 115 5x10. Failing to get 3 lifting days per week asking with 2 days of basketball. So settling in at 2 and 2. Lifting heavily on both those days. Since I am down from 172 this summer, I've not met my goal of maintaining weight while dropping BF, but that may have been unrealistic. I look and feel b…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/10/21 11:05 AM
2

I hear you. Working through it. My son (12) jokingly said "Happy wife, happy life" the other day to my FIL and I. My FIL said he was wise beyond his years. I told him I don't ever want to hear those words come out of his mouth again. I did the world was littered with men who have their lives trying to make their woman happy only to earn their contempt. My FIL looked a bit stunned, so I STFU. I know I have work to do in my home, and in my local spheres. Like God opens my eyes while swimming in a …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/09/21 04:18 PM
1

Sex is usually the only remedy for my insomnia, and I chose to let her sleep rather than wake her for bloody sex. If it persists tonight, it's go time
/r/MarriedRedPill21/09/21 04:04 PM
1

OYS #6 Mid 40s, married with 4 kids, almost 20 years. Physical 5' 10" 167 lbs 18% bf (Navy). 115 5x10 bench, 225 5x9 squat, 275 5x8 DL. Basketball 2x per week, lifting 2-3 times per week Slightly cutting to get down to 15 percent bf. I'd like to see my lower abs again and maybe dunk a basketball before my age makes that unreasonable. Struggling though with lifts stalling a bit and feeling too skinny while cutting. When I don't stuff my face when hungry, I imagine my muscle gains wasting away eve…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/09/21 10:02 AM
5

Stop talking about fight club. Obviously you have a strong need to talk... But telling her the relationship is her responsibility? I don't know where to start. Reread Steel's MRP intro 5 times. Happy for you and your marriage that there are real improvements. Don't go fucking it up with rookie mistakes.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/21 12:39 PM
1

Thanks for the encouragement. I'm hard on myself because of the tendency to be too accommodating, when I know intellectually that things will go better if I follow through (lead). Just banning that I'm still too conflict avoidant when there isn't even going to be conflict I expect myself to be further along in these moments since I'm no spring chicken, but baby steps and persistence brothers...
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/21 12:43 AM
3

Dude, you are at OYS 1, so stick to the basics. You are talking too much. STFU. You are trying to negotiate desire by telling her where to sit. STFU. If you need to lose 30 pounds, you are fat and unattractive. Your unattractive when you open your mouth to lecture her about affection. STFU, lift, read, and diet. She it's probably embarrassed to enjoy sex with such an unattractive husband so she avoids it, and probably because you spike the football every time she climaxes, proving your point tha…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/09/21 05:26 PM
2

OYS #6 (working on self for 10 months) Mid 40s, married 18 years, 4 kids. Physical 5' 10" 165 lbs, 18% bf (navy). Squat 225 5x9, Bench 115 5x10, DL 275 5x8. Working towards 5x10 on all lifts. Settling into 2 heavy lifting days and 2 basketball days a week. Goals are to cut while maintaining as much capacity as possible. Started Invisalign 2 weeks ago, which helps reduce calories. Noticing much better strength and performance on basketball days, and filling out my lower body, while abs are starti…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/09/21 01:49 PM
2

OYS 5 (RP since Nov. 2020) Mid 40s, married 18 years, 4 kids. Reading Most of side bar complete. Currently reading Jackenofhearts posts. Physical 5' 10", 170 lbs, 19% bf (navy). Lifting 2-3 times per week, basketball twice. Transitioning form 5x5 to 5x10, aiming for 175, 15 %. 225 squat 5x8, 275 DL 5x7, 115 bench 5x10, 90 bent over row 5x8, 55 overhead press 5x10. Diet, using roughly 40-40-20 (protein-carb-fat). I stopped logging all my food intake, which I'm sure slows down my progress in cutti…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/08/21 11:40 AM
1

Thanks. I think this is really what I'm doing. Trying to hit protein goals is priority 1. Limiting my fat is 2nd I'm not counting carbs, but I don't drink sugar or eat desserts. Bread and pasta in moderation.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/07/21 03:27 AM
2

OYS #5 Mid 40s, married 18 years with 4 kids. Physical: 172 lb, 5'10", 20% bf (navy). Doing 5x5 for 4 weeks before going up to higher reps at these weights: 235 Squat 155 bench, 315 DL, 95 bent over row, 95 overhead press. Family gym membership working out so far. Wife and two oldest coming to gym with me. This doesn't happen if I hadn't just signed us up. I hate tracking food on My fitness Pal, but I feel like that's the only way I'm going to know what works. I'm tempted to just eat generally t…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/07/21 12:57 PM
1

Thanks for the reply. He explained it as the post workout carbs are needed for synthesizing muscle repair/growth. He said the low fat goals are so that when the body needs fat, you want to make it reach to your body's reserves rather than the fresh supply you're regularly providing. Rather than 40/40/40, would you go 50/25/25? I play basketball twice a week, and I could see playing on an empty stomach being effective for fat burning, but might take the fun out of it.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/07/21 06:53 PM
2

OYS #4 Stats: Mid 40s, married with 4 kids. 5'10" 172 lbs, 20% BF(navy). Read: Most of sidebar complete. Re-reading MMSLP. Lifts: After consultation with trainer friend, switching to 5 sets at high reps (8 -12) rather than 3, so weight is down to allow more capacity to maximize hypertrophy. 135 bench 8x5, hack squat 135 11x5, overhead press 50 10x5. Diet First experience in my life trying to limit fat intake. Need to learn options for maintaining 40-40-20 (protein-carb-fat) macro. I've always be…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/21 12:30 PM
2

Message received. It will be freeing to stop whining about ASD. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/21 12:34 AM
4

OYS #3 Mid 40s, married 18 years, 4 kids Reading Most of sidebar once or twice. Re-reading MMSLP. Dalrock's blog. Physical: 172 lbs, 5'10", ~18%bf (visual). 345x5 DL, 145x10 BP, 225x5 Squat, 18 chinups Getting back into squat and bench form now that I've got the gym membership. Meeting with trainer friend this week to get his recommendations on diet and lifts to meet goal of 175, 12% BF. Played basketball with friends 2x last week, and have been feeling the fitness improvements, but it does impi…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/06/21 12:48 PM
2

Thank you for your thoughtful response. I have read WISNIFG and will revisit that section. I really want them to have good work ethic and take pride in giving their best. I'll work to make sure the broken motivations and methods you named don't sabotage the whole effort.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/21 10:28 AM
1

OYS #2 Mid 40s, Married 18 years to mid 40s wife with 4 kids. Physical: 5'10", 172 lb, 20% bf (visual). 225 3x5 Squat, 345 3x5 DL, 190 3x5 Bench. Gym membership acquired, and daily tracking diet with MyFitnessPal. A friend who runs a gym is working up a plan for me. Reading: Most of sidebar complete. Re-reading MMSLP, and getting mind blown reading Dalrock's blog. It's essential reading for red pill Christians. Chivalry being the tool of feminism is blindingly clear in his writing. Frame: Seeing…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/21 03:24 AM
2

OYS #1 45, Married 18 yrs to Wife 45, 4 kids. Reading: MMSLP, NMMNG, RM, RM (Religion), Pook x2, WISNIFG, Passionate Marriage, top MRP posts, Now re-reading MMSLP Physical: 5'10", 170, 18% bf (visual), 3x10 310lb sumo deadlift, 1x20 chin-up, 1x35 pushups. Started traking diet with MyFitnessPal. Initiated consultation with old friend who is a personal trainer for guidance on workout and diet now that gyms are opening. Want to hit 175 and 12% bf. Social: Playing Basketball 2x per week, started gui…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/21 07:23 AM
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