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No_Analyst_5235 Archive

View 0 posts and 209 comments by No_Analyst_5235 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Agreed , in most cases. Each case has different nuances. My ex was of good character until she went to an unethical theraapist that recommended anti depressants. As soon as she started them, her whole demeanor changed. History was re-written. It was like her mind was maleable. I divorced her and now she's lonely and I'm dating up a storm and feeling like a teenager. I was only close with some in her family and they know me. The others are toxic and I couldn't care less what they think and am gla…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 01:10 PM
1

100% ...TANd its only their side of the story thats heard. The other problem is when you make up, their family and friends keep that negative feeling about you. Your wife might get over it but family and friends never forget. Women have a hive mentality. I love women but I'd never get married again. Not with laws in the womens favor like they are. I urge all younger men not to fall for it. Woman will beg a guy to get married or give him an ultimatum and then are 80% of the ones that file for div…
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 02:44 PM
1

Hang in there bro... Play the cards you are dealt as best you could.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 12:21 PM
1

Sorry man but WTG
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 04:15 PM
1

Hey that void you feel will be filled . You get to fill it . You’re not alone . If you are on the edge , get professional help . We all care
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 01:55 AM
3

Yes, the two I knew had predefined leanings towards men and women and their roles . It’s a pseudo science anyway . An ego driven field based in bullshit . You notice they call everyone a narcissist now ? Like wtf .. that is a medical diagnoses that needs to be tested under test conditions with a qualified examiner . These motherfuckers call people they haven’t met that all the time
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 07:54 PM
4

Totally agree and thought I was also going to have to live with that . I accepted it and moved on. A lot of us ain’t perfect but we give our all for our families and don’t deserve to be discarded. They beg us to marry them and then look for reasons to leave .
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 07:49 PM
8

Agreed. A lot of therapists are messed up people to begin with . I’ve known a couple that I wouldn’t take recommendations on a movie , no less my life . The worst part is they destroy families without ever blinking an eye. My son was an adult and on his own when it happened. I feel for the men who have young children.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 05:03 AM
23

I went no contact with my ex after being married 30 years. There was no infidelity , no money problems , no abuse etc , she went to therapy after her father died, was put on antidepressants and for whatever reason , the therapist started mapping out her exit . Never called me in. Everything was exaggerated or a lie. As much as I fought for my marriage , I gave up. A year after I moved out, I went to a wake for a mutual friend and she was there. She wanted to talk to me outside . She apologized a…
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 09:44 PM
2

Waste of time and money … the majority bring their own predispositions into their analysis abd they lean toward woman . Think of who is going to go to school to be a therapist. Other advice here is spot on . The only positive would be that it gives you time to get things in order Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 09:45 AM
3

I was at peace was I was married , until the end . I was at peace with my girlfriend , and I was at peace when I lived alone . If you NEED someone to be at peace , you’re not at peace
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 08:32 PM
1

Every one raves about how great and helpful it is but therapy was the biggest waste of time for me . Nothing but cliches and cheerleading . I tried a different one just to see but same results . A drunken session with friends was much more helpful . You can’t bullshit your friends and they know you and what’s going on . To each their own though.. I went to a different one just to
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 04:43 PM
1

Yes, I’ll never trust again . When you consider most women push for marriage and then over 80% file for divorce s indicative to the manipulation going on . The things I learned after the fact about women in general cannot be unlearned . I’m ready to dump my current GF because I’m just not going to put up with any manipulation and it seems women are taught to manipulate from day 1
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 01:38 PM
2

I agree with this
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 04:34 PM
4

You’re being manipulated .. get out fast
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 11:16 AM
4

Everyone said it perfectly …and the unknown reason she hates your mom is because manipulators will always try and put a wedge between the family and those they are manipulating.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 12:35 AM
1

My ex worked for a real estate/divorce/estate attorney and had someone she knew give an appraisal. I knew it was low balled. At my attorney's suggestion, I hired one she recommended. One that would give an honest appraisal but would error on the high side. My ex refused to split the cost. The appraisal came back 30,000 more so the $400 appraisal fee was well worth it. If you feel you are being lowballed based on comps etc, speak to your attorney about it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 11:00 AM
6

I was lucky .. son was an adult and I didn’t fight stupid shit so it only cost 7K in NY. She works for a divorce attorney so it def could have been padded . There needs to be restrictions or policy changes that would stop these outrageous costs . If someone is using the courts to be punitive , the courts need to recognize that and charge that party . Whether male or female
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 04:43 PM
2

There are too many attacks upon the institution or marriage . There have always been people and groups that want to destroy the nuclear family except now it is right out in the open . Coupled with laws that favor women it’s no mystery why 80-90% file first . Also add to the statistic the guys that file b/c their wife was cheating and these numbers are insane . A man would have better odds playing Russian roulette than getting married
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 04:38 PM
1

I gave up .. the three I went to were ridiculous. Much rather go out with friends and let loose . They at least have a vantage point to the issues. This pseudo science BS where everyone is a narcissist is not for me. I don’t get off on blaming others for things in my life and I found most therapists do just that
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 12:45 PM
1

You teach people how to treat you . I’m sure this didn’t happen overnight . Set her straight or kick her out
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/23 12:47 PM
5

My ex’s therapist told her to make up a list of all the negative things I did Igor when she feels like she might reconcile . Who the fuck does that ? Of course if the list is all negative that will influence someone but shouldn’t it be a list of negatives AND positives ? That’s how we were taught to make decisions. The same therapist who recommended her on antidepressants, told her she could smoke weed and drink on them , and told her it was a child’s dose. It wasn’t . I know there are good ther…
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 01:00 PM
1

Good to hear Bro
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 12:26 PM
1

I didn’t do any of that but wanted clarity and we tried to reconcile but there was little effort in her part so I wish I would have just said okay and filed
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 12:15 PM
5

Damn bro .. what a monster you were married to . Hope you’re doing okay
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 12:14 PM
1

Almost everything comes with black box warnings ? Okay sure bro LMFAO Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/23 09:40 AM
1

Please do because a good number of people off themselves BECAUSE of the drug. They are led to believe this magic pill cures all before they even try and exercise or do the other things that lead to health. People who research and know how to read see it right on the black box warnings they come with. And why do they come with the highest warning the FDA gives? Hmmmmm but hey who cares if the side effect is suicide, right? Then we have the mass shootings from people either on the shit or coming o…
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 08:58 PM
2

100% ..There are many other things not mentioned. Meditation , music ... I'm amazed anyone takes this shit but the doctors never fully warn the patients of the myriad of problems they could and usually cause. I was around a lot of drug use in my 20's and I'd rather do cocaine than this garbage. At least the cokeheads only lost money and were able to recover. You get it bad with this stuff and your life is literally over. Anyone not wanting to believe it, there are multiple support groups and sto…
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 12:39 PM
5

Nope , not me , never .. I’ve seen it destroy too many people . Some people lost their libido for life . And then see what some go through to try and stop . Exercise , eat healthy , fresh air , and a whole lot of positive healthy things was way better .
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 08:17 AM
1

That's not what it informed me. It informed me EXACTLY as I wrote. You project so much you have no idea. And then to call someone bitter because they aren't glowing at your not so humble brag. Listen bro, I didn't wait a year to date after my divorce. I have had very good success with women but I don't go around posting it like a brag and then acting like I'm helping others. You could help others without the cringe nonsense you posted. I bet all the waitresses and female bartenders love you too …
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 11:23 AM
2

Set boundaries next time round … Good luck to you bro …
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 01:25 PM
18

I read your version of what is going on and how you view yourself . Id love to know what the women you’ve dated think of you . I bet there is a big difference . Guys who are secure with themselves don’t put the bullshit you put in about running their hands over their biceps. Some of this is so cringe I think it’s fake or parody . This post doesn’t ask a question or inform us of anything other than how great you think of yourself . But good luck to you
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 11:06 AM
5

What the hell actually kept you attracted to her or feel anyone deserved that ? Didn’t friends and family reach out to you and say wtf is wrong with you .. I know if my ex said or did just one shady thing I’d be getting told or asked if everything is okay . Do you have severe self esteem issues or something ?
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 10:54 AM
1

Anytime, Brother... I was where you are at and others helped me. Paying it back. Its easier to talk to strangers or others going through this than some family or friends. They don't understand or they don't want to hear it. Hit me up anytime you need to vent or anything Do the needful and you're golden
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 06:39 PM
1

Will do bro.. Same here -If you need to vent. I assume you're from Florida. NY here. My divorce was finalized in Sept 2022 . I sped that up. No reason not to. I'm also dating a cool woman. had multiple woman interested. Even married women. It gets so much better bro
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 12:55 PM
1

The common theme .. used and then discarded conveniently at the most opportune time , for bullshit reasons as they play victim. Its hard to go through this but it’s equally shattering to know this is what is out there
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 03:29 AM
3

Yup.. 30 years and from all accounts and her notes in cards. Every holiday or birthday. Notes with love, admiration, respect and how I give from my heart everything to my family. Got her name tattooed on her wrist. And all it took was a man-hating feminist therapist and the anti depressants she recommended and it was over. Blown to pieces with no hope for a reconciliation. I will never ever fully trust any woman ever again. The level of betrayal because of their emotions is reptilian. There is n…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 11:03 PM
3

This is accurate . A man has to be all those things and “ on “ 100% of the time . And once you have children , a man is basically financially enslaved. Of course there are men who are abusers and monsters but in general , it’s men not wanting to divorce . It’s men fighting for their families. It just shows how transactional the love women have for men. When you add in the divorce statistic that a man losing his job increases the odds over 50% that a woman will divorce it shows to the degree how …
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 11:14 AM
18

No fucking way .. never .. not under these laws and the way society holds god damn parades for women who divorce like they are super heroes for gutting their family. .. you go girl.. take him for everything as they play the perpetual victim . Women, their family and friends will pressure you to marry them and then right after you do , they will immediately start devaluing you. 80 -90% of divorces are initiated by women . There is no vetting of a woman. They act on their emotions and they have a …
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 10:35 PM
3

Listen Bro , no one has the answers because everyone and their situation is different . The things that are central to us all is there is a void that is made when we divorce. We then feel like we have to fill that void right away. We don’t have to . I learned it will eventually get filled and in my case with things much better . I initially felt as you do . It’s natural. And I was with this woman almost 40 years .. married 34 . My divorce was finalized in September 2022 and I already have a GF .…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 06:03 PM
1

Thanks , man … bounce back for real . I finalized the divorce within a year, bought a new place closer to family and friends and already have a nice woman by my side . I haven’t looked back or spoken to her since and we were together almost 40 years
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 01:56 PM
3

When she said she was dropping off our puppy for me to watch because she was going to visit her mother. This right after I told her I was having trouble breathing . ( I had just got out if the hospital a couple of days earlier with covid /pneumonia) . I was done I was re-hospitalized three days later
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 10:24 PM
5

My ex tried to broke into a safe that was mine. Luckily I removed all the items. She felt entitled to things the lawyers already told her she wasn't ( coins from an inheritance) . If a woman feels justified or entitled to anything, she will break whatever law she needs to and the courts will give her a slap on the wrist. There is almost no downside to them acting however they wish. Very little
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 03:03 PM
21

The problem is we think the void that is left will never be filled . It will be filled and for most of us or some of us if will be filled with something better . It’s an abundant universe
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 04:39 PM
3

It gets better when you help yourself bro … you know those actions and perspective are unhealthy and are expecting a different outcome ? The saying one day at a time is the one that will get you to the other side . Get your mind and body healthy with a respect for yourself and everything else will start falling into place , Guys in worse spot than you have done it . Use that pain for motivation. And stay away from antidepressants. They’re poison Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 09:18 AM
5

Mine hasn’t . I went no contact so I have no idea what goes through her mind . She has never adequately given me solid reasons for doing and treating me as she has and I did pine for her at least discussing things . Not that I would take her back but that there is a human being in there . The more I get out there and meet different woman though , the more I care less and less about her and her state of mind. I think she seriously miscalculated because the women that are out there are thirsting f…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 07:36 PM
6

Good on you for turning the tables. Good luck bro
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 05:41 PM
14

You called it … the grass isn’t greener .. usually they realize much later
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 04:16 PM
–

Everyone has a damn right to change their mind . Again , we are not property . I believe I put I. Caveats that make filing for a divorce not benefiting the filer but you completely ignored that . And who is the arbiter as to what abuse or abandonment is ? Your argument is flawed. This isn’t the 1600’s bro .
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 07:35 PM
2

No one should have to stay married . We aren’t property . But the laws need to change so that if that one party is filing , that should be taken into consideration when dividing assets etc … In other words , without reason, go ahead and file but you get shit
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 05:05 PM
1

Allegations like these need to be Investigated to the fullest and if they are unfounded, there needs to be severe penalties against the person complaint . It’s the only way it will stop . If someone calls child protective services with a false claim by someone , they could in trouble and sued . At the least the sane thing should happen.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 03:08 AM
1

Went from a three bedroom townhouse to a 1 bedroom coop.. I had so many things to move that I gave a lot away and sold some . Kept my flamethrower though 😁
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 09:51 PM
1

So you followed the script that anti depressants are the answer like everyone else . That stuff should be given out to maybe 1-2% of those taking it. There are many other alternatives. Did you look up what that poison does , besides kill libido ? Look up Marriage and SSRI stories . They don’t call it the divorce drug for nothing Mental health professional are a joke . Pseudo science nonsense
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 05:21 PM
2

“ I tried to make her happy “ There is your problem . It’s not your job or anyone’s . It’s hers . And get out now before you become the CEO as she will take even more . She sounds like a very selfish person or a woman
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 05:12 PM
1

SSRI’s .. say no more . I won’t even date anyone on that poison
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:47 PM
3

It depends on the circumstances of your divorce. If you cheated, yeah, if she did hell no. I know I did things wrong but I don't blame myself. She was the catalyst and the one who felt it was better to talk to others about our marriage instead of me to try and work things out. When issues in your marriage are being discussed behind your back, nothing good will ever come of it. They might as well just file right then and there.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 11:11 AM
1

Yes, you're right. I feel differently depending on what memory pops up. But what is certain is where to channel my energy. I have to channel into positive steps toward my future. Everything else will fall into place after that. What's great about that is that you start seeing the positive effects right away. Wasting energy on negative thoughts on my ex does nothing but keep me imprisoned in her world. Nope. Why waste that energy. The rotten fruits fall on their own
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 11:06 AM
26

Vows mean nothing . People change . Everything changes and you entering into a contract knowing that . We don’t enter into a contract in any other personal relationship. If it flys , floats or fucks , it’s cheaper to rent
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 09:45 AM
2

Thanks brother . Yeah I’m gonna go . She seems pretty chill and no expectations. I connected with this woman on Match that was drop dead gorgeous. I thought it was friends pranking me . Bro , I’m 59 and she was 54 and looked 35 tops . Her daughter was an NFL cheerleader . She gave me her cell number and we talked for three hours. I know I wasn’t being catfished or Fatfished lol because I verified everything. She said . Those feelings you described were exactly how I felt . We were supposed to me…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 06:07 PM
2

Damn .. 10K a year . I started growing just to ease the cost lol .. my ex didn’t show the world the monster she was . She was sweet as could be . When we were splitting up she was even nice to neighbors she hated. Once we decided to split she became their friend again . It’s all about using people . Discard what is no longer useful and manipulate others for needs. I’m supposed to go on a date next week and I’m wrestling with the idea of not even bothering . Putting myself through this all over a…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 01:13 PM
2

Holy shit .. Rat Poison ??? That was in the back of my mind after she left when I had trouble breathing and the reason I was not accepting that. I thought if she came back and found me dead, what a show she would put on for friends and family. She compared her leaving me with covid pneumonia to not going with her to an MRI. That actually came out of her mouth . Then I had caught her talking on a wyze camera we had by chance and picked up her spinning lies and exaggerations while bashing me . I h…
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/23 10:39 AM
4

We were married over 20 years at the time: she went around telling everyone , friends and family that my money was my money and she wanted no part of it . Divorce wasn’t even in my mind . There was no infidelities or anything . I had cards notes and declarations of love, respect for two decades. I could go one about the things she wrote about me. She had my name tattooed on her wrist and a rose for me on her shoulder . There was no reason to suspect she was after money. Every indication she gave…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 09:27 AM
4

I would’ve been able to retire in a year or two . I made the mistake of co-mingling a couple of hundred thousand in inheritance . She went around saying she wanted nothing of it . The second I put it into a a joint account , it was over … and she knew that …
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 09:54 PM
1

Wish I had the answer to that . I don’t want to go the rest of my life thinking all women are manipulative but it’s hard to let your guard down once you’ve been had . There are many who claim that men should know that their wives are checking out. That it usually takes years before they leave and men aren’t really blindsided . That is not my experience or the experience I’ve read from others . Walk away wives , flipping the switch , wherever they want to call it , it’s real .
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 12:07 AM
3

Kick ass and chew bubblegum
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/23 04:42 PM
4

It only became a complaint after the marriage was over because I worked 60 to 70 hours a week. 12-14 hour days and she worked 30 hours a week so naturally she did more . This is just a general justification women could use . If we’re truly an issue that compromised the marriage , it should have been communicated. My ex didn’t complain until after things were over and then it was “ I never did this “ … to put it in scientific terms .. it’s bullshit
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 07:39 PM
2

Good point .. there are actions to take if someone is not pulling their weight . Fucking another dude is not one of them
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 07:34 PM
3

Yes , the common theme is women today are just looking for sperm donors . But they realize it’s better to get married rather than go to a sperm bank because they cant make the sperm donor at the bank pay them and make them financially secure but the Sperm donor they marry , is now on the hook for life . Women push for marriage and give ultimatums . Not men . And then after they are married they are 80% and higher the ones to file for divorce . That tells you everything you need to know about the…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 09:37 AM
10

Yep .. everything she said she wasn’t and things she would never do , she was and did
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 11:53 PM
2

Sorry bro...Yeah the divorced friends are the living embodiment that misery loves company. My ex wasn't hypergamous but had a feminist therapist that recommended she go on antidepressants . When I realized what those things do ( emotional blunting, lost libido ) the therapist told her it was a child's dose. It wasn't a child's dose. Her therapist told her she could smoke weed and drink alcohol on the AD's. My ex was then going around glowing about this therapist talking about the TV shows they b…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 10:41 PM
1

Damn...The poem. My ex was bringing up buying a house to retire to. It was bizarre behavior. My ex was also on anti depressants which changed her personality completely. Before I even knew what those things do, I mentioned something was off with her to our son.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 10:04 PM
3

34 years married for me and I hear you on the reason. Mine decided that I had accumulated enough worth personally and through work, that she could take half and live large. Between a fucked up therapist who urged her to take anti depressants and two trash people egging her on, I never had a chance. Planned and plotted behind my back for no major reason.. Walk away wife syndrome is real and insane how you go from being adored, respected, loved, appreciated (all in cards and in notes) to being the…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/23 10:50 AM
13

It hasn’t worked for anyone I know and the men left feeling sandbagged like it was biased against the man from the beginning
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 09:18 PM
6

Yes , cut your losses before it’s too late . Things only will get worse. If this is what it’s like for you now it will be ten times worse in ten years .
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/23 07:34 PM
1

Thats what everyone in the family should be doing and if they aren't they aren't trying to help. They are shit stirrers. Either way you got the right idea
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 01:20 PM
10

This whole sub is filled with guys who were on top of the world bro . Read through and find the ones where the guy has gone what you are and is now saying goodbye to the sub for all the advice because they got their life together . It happens … find your way , use the hurt, anger , betrayal to motivate you to the new better life .
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 09:34 AM
1

So why don't you all get together and collectively agree and tell them you do not want to hear the specifics and intimate details of their marriage PERIOD. Give them a list of therapists to talk to. What is so hard about that? They can't effect you without your participation. STOP participating.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 01:22 PM
2

Okay, after reading through your answers, BPD etc.... It seems you know what is going on. For your own health and sanity, you have to stop trying to figure out what happened or why did she do this, what is she thinking. You are never going to get answers that make sense to you so why are you chasing it? In my opinion, your need for outside validation that you treated her well and she was abusive is destructive. Gonna be honest here- WTF do you care about outside validation when you know you trea…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 12:55 PM
4

Just to play devils advocate there are some that would say you can’t do things for someone voluntarily and then expect them to do something specific for you . Everything seems transactional and when things are transactional you will never get passion or spontaneity. That’s what it seems you want . What would she say if she was asked your question ?
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 02:31 AM
2

How is everyone easily effected by them divorcing ? It’s their business to liquidate and separate . Have them get a mediator. I don’t understand what the issues are when this is mutually agreed upon I was married 34 years .. almost 40 together . No affairs or money problems . But when it became bitter, I quickly realized that no one cares . Life goes on and no one wants to be around a fun sponge talking about how he/she has been wronged
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 09:01 PM
1

I got lucky in the sense we both just kept our existing 401k’s /IRA’s and made adjustments in other areas because I had around 30K more in mine. I did fund her IRA every year with my bonuses but she would have been entitled to half of that anyway. Dodged a bullet and no longer have to fund her retirement
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 08:45 PM
3

Totally agree. Except I don't tell my ex I love her and wish her nothing but happiness because I went no contact and our son is grown. I wish her no ill will.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 11:41 AM
13

I get what you’re saying . “ Winning “ means bettering yourself . My ex wanted to separate and once signed , I immediately filed for divorce . I didn’t want to but she left me know choice and the last thing I was going to do was pay her health insurance because there might be a chance we reconcile . More manipulation I guess we gotta do what works for us . I had to move away from the mindset of winning/losing or even feeling good if I heard something bad happened to her . Believe me , it felt go…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 10:28 AM
15

I never looked at it as one has to win and one has to lose . I looked at it as tho we both lost . At least I know I tried my best. I wasn’t perfect and neither was she . After going through all the stages of divorce … denial, anger etc and then letting loose for a while partying, the only healthy competition to be in is with myself . Seeing the benefits of an attitude of trying to be a better version of yourself everyday liberates you. Why compare myself to my ex. What’s the quote about comparis…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 09:51 AM
5

Shit like this makes me sick. Its one thing to get into disagreements and split up. This is a level of evil. Just no other word for declaring your loyalty to someone and then using that to start a campaign to destroy them mentally, physically and financially.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 11:32 AM
1

Yea.. that worked out the best possible way. Addition by subtraction
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 05:53 PM
4

It’s like a script with this shit . They all have the same feelings , all say the same things . All to not make any sense . And don’t get me wrong , no one is obligated to stay married or in love with anyone . But when you can’t articulate what went wrong. In my opinion , you did nothing but manipulate
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 09:47 PM
23

Yea bro .. it was a perfect storm . An unethical therapist who never met me , anti depressants that cause emotional blunting and loss of libido and scumbag friends . A 40 year relationship and we have zero contact . Not a word : you go from having someone you would fall on a hand grenade for to not even speaking or emailing Anyone who gets married now is a fool and anyone who thinks there marriage is solid is a fool. I include myself in that
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 07:12 PM
6

We had sex at least twice a week for 34 years married . She initiated a lot of the time until later in the marriage we had “ date night “ . If one of us wasn’t feeling well , we just made it on the next available day . Within a month there was no more sex and the marriage was over in the snap of a finger
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 04:34 PM
2

No worries b/c I know I am right. It never helped me and it certainly never helped anyone I knew. In fact they became more fucked up after or have been in for a decade with no noticeable gain except "their therapist understands them" and more than half were put on anti depressants at the therapists recommendation and were never given the warnings of their use or the withdrawal. I've gotten more out of self reflection, living healthy and being around supportive people. We all spend our money fool…
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 02:42 PM
-1

It’s a lesson bro. The hardest one but at hard as it was you are looking at it from the wrong perspective . Instead of pitying yourself and being a victim , look at the bright side . It could have been worse . This could have happened five years later . It could be worse. I hear you on the triggers when other women say things my ex did. That hits me too. If you go around with the attitude that all women are bad then it will be a self fulfilling prophecy for you. Instead , If you go in with the k…
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 11:59 AM
1

Record her saying that stuff to the kids. What an evil pos
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 09:26 PM
0

Wow! I didn't know that.. WTF? I guess they wanted the reaction.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 12:17 PM
1

My ex wanted to separate and held the carrot that maybe we would reconcile in the future . I looked into the advantages and disadvantages and coincidently the only advantage was to her. I’d be responsible for her health insurance. I told her that if she wanted to Separate , fine , but I’m moving toward divorce . I move forward , not backward . I didn’t see any benefit for being separated but every situation is different . It seems like another tool women use to manipulate men when they have no i…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 10:59 AM
5

I think it is in reference to “Fatal attraction “ movie. Crazy woman boils the daughters bunny because he is ignoring her .
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 10:46 AM
9

It’s like they are all given the same playbook of deceit, tricks and nasty behavior . Nothing worse than an abuser claiming to be the abused. My ex tried the same thing . Unfortunately for her she got caught in enough inconsistencies to render her not credible . It still hurts though
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 03:01 PM
20

No way would I get married again . Learned my lesson the first time . A marriage is the only legally binding contract that a person ( woman) is rewarded for breaking it . It also explains why 80% or more of divorces are initiated by women. Now add in that it is usually the woman who pressures to get married and it is one big bait and switch scam. Change the laws or don’t get married guys
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 02:56 PM
7

She has already checked out and has a plan . Her closest ally’s prob knew all about it . You’re gonna be playing catch up .. seeing how certain pieces now fit and getting pissed knowing you were a dedicated partner while she was plotting to leave. Put all that away and focus on the best agreement you could get . This is now a business transaction. Treat it as such but know also that a protracted legal battle will destroy both of you . Know your rights but also know your situation. Counseling nev…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 11:50 AM
5

Women are the perpetual victim in every situation. The lack of accountability is astounding and should give pause to any guy even thinking about getting married . Don’t do it . No matter what you are being told by her and how she will love you forever , it only takes one person to get in either in her ear or her pants and it’s over. They are taught,encouraged and rewarded to manipulate from the day they were born
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 12:56 PM
7

It is better not to get married period
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 03:32 PM
3

very typical damned if do, damned if you don't... just Damned.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 01:21 PM
22

You’re asking if women ever take accountability? Hahahahahaha bwahahaha… seriously ?
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 10:40 PM
2

After my ex and I argued about her leaving me to visit her mother while I had covid/pneumonia and trouble breathing and her not giving a shit , she had separation papers drawn up taking more than what she deserved . I gave it to her but immediately filed for divorce as I would have had to pay her health insurance while separated . Fuck that and fuck her . Good riddance
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 07:55 PM
8

Nailed it right here …. And hugs was one of the things my ex complained about
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 07:50 PM
0

The people I know that are in therapy are the most self-absorbed people I know. All their problems and issues are someone else's fault. It is almost as if therapy and the therapist exonerates them for all the shitty things they do.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 03:12 PM
0

The people I know that are in therapy are the most self-absorbed people I know. All their problems and issues are someone else's fault. It is almost as if therapy and the therapist exonerates them for all the shitty things they do.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 03:12 PM
-5

If he has .. run
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 01:51 AM
1

You’re in a tough spot . The only way you could go back is if you are not at more financial risk as you are now . Once a woman talks about walking, they’ve already thought about the plans and life after. Don’t listen to her words , watch her actions
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 01:46 AM
1

Everyone's situation and case is different. Also the State laws matter. In my case, our son was an adult and had his own insurance. My ex worked but her employer didn't offer health insurance. She is capable of getting her own insurance or getting a job that provides it. I did enough for her over the years, and made all the sacrifices. The day she wanted to separate after what she did to me, was the day she wasn't going to get another thing out of me.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 03:43 PM
1

You def need an attorney . Every state is different and the attorney will advise you all your obligations and how the settlement should go . Your STBX is already ahead of you and any form of niceness is only to manipulate you into capitulation. It is what they do. Manipulation is built into their DNA My Ex wanted to just separate using the guise we might reconnect . There was zero benefit to separate and not divorce as I would have to pay for her health insurance separated and wouldn’t have to p…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 02:52 PM
16

💯 .. sweep the leg
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 02:36 PM
2

Yep, my ex wanted a separation and talked as if we might reconcile . I told her that I move forward , not backward . Talking as if down the road we might reconnect . I saw right through it and filed for divorce right after the separation was legal. The narcissism to think I’m going to pay for her healthcare in perpetuity for the chance of rekindling with her after the hell she put me through . During the marriage , if she wanted something , I always gave her more so she wanted to separate , I ga…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 01:57 AM
2

If your wife is breathing, there is always going to be a chance this could happen . They act on emotions and emotions always change while usually men act on logic . Watch who her friends and coworkers are . The hive mentality could influence them. If she is seeing a therapist , chances are you are being discussed . Therapists are known marriage breakers . Unethical and incompetent they will lead them and give them strategies without ever meeting you. If she goes on anti depressants there is a go…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 02:15 PM
3

She has no respect for you because you don’t know your value. She thinks of you as a safety net and is just using you . She only regrets things when they blow up in her face . Let her choke on her regret. Women who treat men like this I have zero sympathy for . She knows you love her and that’s why she plays you . If you get back with her then you could expect more of the same treatment when “ you are not meeting her needs “ or she meets a new guy . Sorry you are going through this but she is th…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 04:40 PM
7

Makes you wonder why anyone in their position would get married or live with a woman
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 11:37 AM
2

You would be better off giving her what she wants without being clingy and acting like you have options that YOU are now exploring. Don’t be punitive or petty but be firm in your future. Read some books like no more Mr nice guy and others that have been suggested and maybe she will realize what she is losing or has lost or maybe you will find a better person and life . Either way , you are letting her lead the dance and woman do not find that attractive . Marriage counseling is a slow dance to d…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 08:39 AM
2

All good... I'm glad you are out !
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/23 06:50 PM
1

You guys had to get approval from your wives to buy a recliner ? I’d ask mine her opinion but approval ?
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/23 04:56 PM
6

I moved away from friends and family for her, never cheated , shared all financial information, funded her 401k, encouraged her to talk to family members when she was pissed , let both her brothers stay with us when they were going through their divorces but got called a narc because I stop talking rather than argue . Especially when she rolls her eyes during an argument . It’s sick . And therapists who listen to these women , like my ex and then label the husbands without even meeting them shou…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 03:15 AM
10

Be prepared to be called a narcissist. That’s their next go-to
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 12:25 AM
5

This ☝️ 💯
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 12:24 AM
17

Ask her how many moms read 50 shades of grey .
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/23 12:21 AM
2

Stick around and you’ll be supporting someone else’s kid too . This is a question you shouldn’t have to ask . Get things in order and get out . Find someone respects you
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 10:56 PM
3

58 … married 34 years . Almost 40 years together Divorced was finalized in September . It took 6 months . I joined a site at the urging of friends and have a some interest but I tell them I’m not dating now b/c I’m not and will delete once the subscription ends . Even still they press to be friends . I bought a place and even a woman involved in the Purchase has been pursuing me through texts . I guess dating at this age for men is a lot better than when you’re younger I just don’t trust anymore…
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 09:37 PM
1

They could make you feel like they are fully invested in the relationship at the same time they are planning to gut you. I would have never believed it until my ex did it. They could swear they would never do to you the things they are doing. There is a deviousness and a disloyalty that is pathological. They will be cheered on and rewarded for treating the person they claimed to have loved this way. It is sickening that they are rarely called out for this behavior. I know guys could be jerks but…
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 03:31 PM
6

A woman’s love for a man is purely transactional . She wants to roll you in the divorce or is hiding something and wants to keep you off balance . Say no to something she wants and see how fast it changes. They aren’t as loyal and don’t live love like men do . That’s why the statistics show them initiating divorce more then men. I read the number one indicator of divorce is a man losing his job. That tells you all you need to know about a woman. Edit spelling
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 01:31 AM
4

Yup one friend , a therapist . Anti depressants , her mother/brother and I never stood a chance . You find out after everyone else have already decided the fate of your marriage . It eventually all comes out . What everyone else says or thinks over one sided , taken out of context and exaggerated stories . They bask in the “ you’re a superhero , you go girl “ culture and you talk to no one and just figure shit out . They all deserve each other . Taking relationship advice from someone who hasn’t…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 06:59 AM
3

Do you close your door when you leave your house ? Close the door on your marriage . Nothing good could come from that arrangement
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 12:45 PM
2

I get where you are coming from but it’s from a bad place . First people aren’t your possessions . Second you invalidate your worth by your happiness being dependent on how she feels . Change the way you are thinking
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 10:51 AM
2

sure, because no matter what you do, good or bad, they could label it narcissistic .LOL. Its sick really. You see those boards and not one person takes any responsibility.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 12:34 PM
8

Exactly... their only fault is they "enable". When you look at this cult of calling people narcs, you see that every action someone does could be labeled narcissistic. Good and bad. You donate money, you are a narc. You don't donate, you are a narc. It is so contradictory . Sure there are abusers out there and bad dudes but that is maybe 5% tops. It is a sick cult. A cult of no responsibility. Therapists openly admit that narcissists often fool them. Then they listen to a women spin tales on the…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 12:30 PM
1

100%. They work for their clients so they take everything they say as chapter and verse. The claims are never put into context or challenged. Imagine listening to gripes from one side in an average marriage? You would think the other person is a monster. Add into that they are seeing you at what is probably a vulnerable time in their lives. And if they recommend anti depressants, not only are you done, you will never speak to them again.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 12:21 PM
1

Exactly. And if you add to that they it benefits them financially. They pretty much have a client for a number of years and possibly a life time. Therapists are destroying families. They also recommend antidepressants for every ailment and don't inform their clients that it causes emotional blunting and lost libido. Add that in and you never had a chance
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 12:16 PM
52

Yup .. and all their exes are narcissists.. their therapists told them so
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 12:29 PM
1

Sorry, I forgot to press 1 for English- Good luck to you tho bro
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/23 01:42 PM
1

Great article! It should also include their unethical behavior and the way they suppress information. And you're right about therapists. Every one I know personally that is a therapist is fucked up in the head and have had toxic relationships. I wouldn't trust them to tie my shoes, no less give me advice. My ex wife went to a therapist after her father passed away. She went to a cognitive behavior therapist for OCD and binge eating too. I thought nothing of it. Little did I realize that SOB woul…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 11:21 PM
0

And yet you stayed and tried to work it out. There in lies the difference between men and women . Women act on emotions and justify their actions based upon that . Men think less emotionally and more logically . She loved you a month ago and you figure you could work on what’s wrong and get back to it . She’s thinking I loved him last month but now I don’t so I’m gone . It’s such a rigged game against men . I was married 34 years …I’ll never get married or trust what a woman says . I won’t hate …
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 06:06 PM
1

Sorry you are going through this- That is exactly the common theme I'm finding after going through it myself. The other common thread that makes it even more disgusting is that in a lot of these cases, like mine, my ex showered me with declarations of love, respect, admiration etc.. where did it go? There was no infidelity or issue other than her going to a therapist. So it makes you wonder just how devious and unethical women are or therapists are.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 05:19 PM
3

I'm sure you are correct. Women care more what others think than men do. They care about how they are perceived more as well. That leads directly into them being led like sheep by a therapist or friends or family members.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 04:16 PM
5

Same with me, except the LGBTQ thing. The first thing we are told is no one is responsible for someone else's happiness. Unless a woman goes to a therapist and then all of her unhappiness is the partners fault. Total bullshit. They even blame "unmet needs" for over eating or binge eating. So when a woman claims she binge eats, guess who's fault it is . Its a great scam they have. They get vulnerable, unhappy women to come in and immediately say, its not your fault. Who the hell is gonna deny tha…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 01:26 PM
4

100% that is what almost all of them do. They give answers like " they work for their clients, not you". They are supposed to get to the root of issues and CHALLENGE them to look inward, not cheerlead and plan exit strategies. Either they are incompetent or unethical with their approach. They also contradict themselves constantly. We are told that no one is responsible for someone else's happiness but a woman walks in and says I'm unhappy and guess who is to blame? Its bullshit... All they want …
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 01:15 PM
6

It seems the catalyst for a lot of divorces are the woman’s therapist . That’s not to say divorce isn’t warranted or abuse hasn’t happened but when a unhappy woman goes into to see someone about their marriage, they will immediately discuss their unhappiness and the therapist is naturally going to side and comfort their client . They often unethically label the partner a narcissist. That in itself they are unqualified to do and when the women looks into it she will agree because almost every act…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 11:46 AM
3

Most women are molded into narcissists by society and the laws that oblige them . In their world the ends always justifies the means while a man is always taught to sacrifice for his family . They act purely on emotion while men act on logic . That’s why it’s so easy for them to throw away a marriage . A guy will try and figure out what went wrong, how to fix it and logically work through it. Even if he isn’t completely happy in the marriage either . A women will just say she doesn’t “ feel” it …
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 11:37 AM
5

Exactly
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 11:27 AM
1

I jumped into seeing what is out there immediately after my divorce became final and now regret it . I was looking for some of those things as well after a long term marriage . My head was spinning with different emotions every day . But as the days went on , I became more and more excited about the new life I could now create . The feeling of complete freedom was awesome . I had a number or women pursuing me hardcore and I realized that I don’t want to go back to a relationship right now . Know…
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/23 03:29 PM
4

Best advice i should have listened to : If it flys , floats or fucks it’s cheaper to rent . Don’t buy a plane , a boat or get married
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/23 12:16 PM
2

Don’t start relying on stuff to sleep . Try natural ways , exercise , read , google natural ways to sleep . I’m sure there are things to eat or drink that help . You start relying on pills and they mess your system . Anti depressants you can’t even stop taking . You have to ween yourself off . The side effects for some people are horrible. . No libido . You’ll figure it out .
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/23 03:27 AM
1

What about income ? Who makes more ? What about health insurance . My ex drafted up a separation agreement and we went back and forth until it was acceptable to both. Once it was signed , I went immediately to divorce . There was no benefit for me to stay separated. I wasn’t going to pay for her health insurance in perpetuity. Was separated and divorced in 5 months . Our son was an adult though . My attorney didn’t get into the who’s and why’s of the separation and divorce . Only the legalities …
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 11:08 PM
3

98% of them are all the same. They read off the same script. Sorry bro .. hang in there . Things will get better
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 09:38 PM
2

There are a number of issues here. She is trying to manipulate her financials to get the best outcome in every situation. ( Divorce, taxes, loans ) That could get her in a lot of shit. But she seems highly irrational so I would at the very least speak to attorney and get the basics and decide from there how you should go about it all. Good luck -
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 09:28 PM
2

Is she doing this on the advice of an attorney or from some knucklehead? Is there someway you could advise her that doing this means you will have to retain an attorney and it won’t be good for both of youse Bottom line it sounds like what she is doing is fraud . Courts are not gonna like it . IRS will not like it . The lawyers will love it though … I’d try my best to get her to go back to the original agreement and tweak it if need be otherwise it’s mutual destruction for both Edit spelling
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 08:52 PM
2

The separation agreement should go through all division of assets . Mine did . Once it is established that she is not taking anything from the account , you could move it . I wouldn’t do anything except stop contributing to it , until an agreement is in place
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/23 12:26 PM
2

My ex went on the delusion tour ..in my ex’s case she had a therapist who believed every word she said . Never called me in . ( now I know why ) and rewrote history and what was going on . I’ve found the more time passes, the more her stories fall apart . Everything I divulge could be backed up with events , actions , notes etc and it never changes … she changed her story depending on who she was speaking to . ( what they would believe )
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 05:38 PM
6

Your attorney is supposed to advocate on your behalf . At the very least a letter should be sent warning of parental alienation . In the meantime , just gather as much evidence as you need but don’t force a situation to get evidence
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 12:32 PM
1

Good luck Brother .. But figure stuff out first. You seem thoughtful and intelligent. You deserve to be happy. If you're not happy, your family will suffer. Same with your wife not being happy
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 06:32 PM
2

Only you know what you should do. You shouldn’t make decisions based on what others think . You’ll always regret bad decisions you’ve made but will be infuriated and tormented by bad decisions others led you to make. You don’t stay in a unhappy marriage for the kids . It’s the opposite You leave an unhappy marriage for the kids. You are their models. Is your marriage what you want to show them what marriage is ? As someone who’ parents divorced when I was 10 or 11 I could tell you that I felt re…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 05:03 PM
5

There is a book called “ No more Mr. Nice guy “ that speaks exactly to the dynamic you describe . Your relationship is most likely DOA but you should read it for future relationships
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 12:37 AM
12

I understand but I’ve yet to hear doing that that ever helped
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/23 02:10 AM
3

Here is a general article . All states are different so it is essential to know the laws in your state . Knowing what your ex is entitled to and not entitled to is paramount in the negotiation of your divorce agreement. I wouldn’t advise balls to the wall attorneys if you don’t need it . Or fighting over minor issues. It will eat away assets . Everyone’s situation is different. https://www.moneycrashers.com/protect-finances-before-divorce/ Good luck to you
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/23 01:59 AM
9

Yep. She went after everything . Some money I inherited that years ago she said in front of multiple people “ was mine “. She worked ( for a divorce attorney ) but never carried health insurance or had a 401K. I funded her IRA with part of my bonus every year . The house was paid off and I let her buy me out . Only because it was the home our son grew up in. If you are initiating , get your ducks in a row prior . Look up how to keep your assets . I could have made other moves if I knew . You hav…
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 12:47 PM
3

Thanks brother - good luck to you !
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 12:05 PM
11

Thanks guys .. it wasn’t easy . But it seemed like more manipulation. Staying separated meant I would be covering her health insurance through my job and paying $250 a month for her. It’s not a lot of money but fuck that . You want to see how life is without me , go full on . We didn’t get married and say let’s see how we like it . We committed . So why the hell would I see how we like separation . All of us are going through a lot of shit . We wouldn’t be here if we weren’t . I wish I wasn’t in…
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 12:05 PM
30

My ex wanted to separate and drew up the papers. She initially talked as if she needed this and who knows down the road . I told her that I don’t move backward , I move forward and if she wanted to separate , I’m not getting back with you . I don’t think she believed me but once we had the separation agreement intact , I told my lawyer to go straight to divorce . It took 7 months from start to finish . And this after 34 years married .
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/23 02:47 AM
2

I’ve always used “ talk to your mother “ even when married . Maybe it’s a regional thing . Like Pop or Soda or “ want to have a catch “ or want to play catch “ Either way it wouldn’t bother me unless it was “ go talk to HIM”
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 04:42 PM
9

Doesn’t matter what you do . If you take charge and make decisions you will be labeled controlling , abusive and manipulative. If you are laid back and let your wife make decisions and put her needs before yours , she will eventually lose respect for you and say she wants a man . They’ve rigged the game so that no matter what you do they have an angle to one day destroy you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 09:48 AM
2

You definably need to research because you have described textbook cases and behaviors. I don't know the context of what is going on to be definitive. The fact you are confused and feeling messed up is also a by product of it. So google Trauma bond, Covert narcissist, and what makes a co-dependent. You could figure it out from there. - Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 12:55 AM
2

Facts
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 06:14 PM
2

Worst advice ever .. it’s like saying just walk across the street without looking , you can’t control traffic
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 06:14 PM
2

If she is taking antidepressants then you got a tough ride if any ride at all . On top of that you sound like a co dependent people pleaser based on your childhood . She sounds like a classic narc . Those two are highly attracted to one another . Do some research brother . You shouldn’t have to put up with this shit and whet you are feeling is a trauma bond, not love
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 03:33 PM
2

I wish I could go back 10 years and take my own advice. I'd be retired early. Get your shit together as if one day she will. This way you are prepared emotionally, physically and financially. If she is saying that to you now then she is discussing it with others and women will often plan to leave years before they do, all the while making you think things are meh but okay.. Its what they do. Good luck bro
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 01:18 PM
3

Hope for things to stay good but plan for the worse . Women act on emotions. All it would take in her mind to file is a little spark . A guy she meets that she’s attracted to and that 10% fighting will be magnified . Her therapist or a friend gets in her ear and tells her she deserves better and it’s game over. You’re acting like you are the only one that could pull the trigger . Don’t be naive . Stay married if you want but prepare yourself in case she flips . And they do flip .
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 12:44 AM
2

Damn bro... you had a real life demon on your hands. What a piece of work. All of our victories come at a high cost. Nothing comes easy with their games. I hope your kids are okay now and are aware of her actions. I totally get the lack of trust. Not just with women but anyone with me. If my ride or die could discard that easily and fell emotionless then anyone could. Its like no one has a true heart. You think everyone manipulates. And I wish therapy helped. Most have been a waste to me and I r…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 04:23 PM
6

I'm glad she is suffering the consequences, however that is not what typically happens. She must be some piece of work to get hit with all that. S Again, when a woman claims a DV incident falsely the court has no idea of knowing if its true and will act as if it IS true. They might dismiss it if there is no basis but nothing will happen to her. There are millions of men who have suffered because of this I'm glad you were one of the lucky ones.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 03:50 PM
3

My ex tried to paint the narrative that everything was my fault and she was a loving wife for decades. She used to call our son after every disagreement. I would ask her why is she bothering him. I realized after the shit went down. It was very effective. Parental alienation could happen at any age. But as they say, the truth will come out. We have a wyze camera that also picks up sound and will record it all. One day I accessed it to check on a package delivery and heard her talking on the phon…
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 12:13 PM
11

Yes, but you are the exception to the rule. When a man has no proof to counter, most times they take the woman at her word and the man is fucked. And her only penalty was she lost her case and was told to grow up. That's not a penalty. Thats like robbing a bank and if you get caught you just have to give the money back.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 11:57 AM
4

It seems like the only reason she wants to reconcile is because YOU have the upper hand . If he situation was reversed , she’d clean you out . You could get divorced and still move to reconcile . People reconnect back or remarry all the time .Move forward with the divorce and if she truly wants to save her family , it is she that has to do the heavy lifting . Women are master manipulators. And In your case , she has already proven to be untrustworthy.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 04:45 PM
3

Absolutely Brother. We got this. I can't regret anything I did. All good. My son, family and friends is all I care about. My divorce was only finalized a couple of months ago. I can't pull the trigger yet on asking a couple of women orbiting. I'm happy being on my own and by myself. The freedom is amazing. Why the hell would I want to sign up for the obligations of a relationship. I'm just gonna let things unfold organically and enjoy the ride. Good luck on your journey
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 11:34 PM
1

The ball is in your court. You could look to confirm what you already feel or you could just move forward and leave her to the streets. Whatever you do, do NOT appear weak or unsure of where you are going and what you want. Be indifferent towards her but sure that your future will be great. Any signs of clinginess will only lead to more disrespect and ridicule. Boundaries bro. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 03:17 PM
3

So this “ trainer “ has no problem walking into your bedroom while you’re there ? Damn …If you want to torture yourself , put a listening device in there .
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 02:00 PM
7

True. The more you give, they more they take. The less they respect: You put them and your family first , they shit on you . You put yourself selfishly first , they’ll kiss your feet. I see it with friends . All my friends who cheat and treat their wives like shit are still married . I allowed my ex to buy me out of our house rather than make her pack up her shit , find a place and move too. My friends thought I was crazy but I did it for our son who grew up in that house and has friends close b…
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 01:44 PM
11

LOL so true . They go around saying more men are narcs . Total BS. Women go to their therapists and lie about what is going on to garner sympathy and justify their behavior. All they do is manipulate
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 01:35 PM
34

Damn, it’s like they use the same script . My ex gave me cards and notes for decades declaring her love , respect and admiration for me . She got my name tattooed on her wrist and two roses on her shoulder, one for me and one for our son . Then she went to a therapist , was put on antidepressants, and “ found her voice “. Left to visit her mother when I told her I had trouble breathing with covid and pneumonia. I was done . 34 years of marriage over . I find out later she was planting lies about…
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/23 12:41 AM
1

You need a lawyer , no question . All States are different on divorce laws and custody so any advice given here might not be relevant . Good luck to you. You’ll get through this
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 04:00 AM
1

If she went on them and you saw a change, you could certain they played a role. Since I found out about this poison, I've researched and its staggering. The emotional blunting they cause etc.. Read below and see if you relate to these stories. They all seem to have the same script and dialogue. "I found my voice" No, you're on mind altering drugs. LOL https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/12F_yiwXqFdalDOs2JQR_y_uF-X8aAqcgqUJoUjrTIWY/mobilebasic https://docs.google.com/document/u/0/d/1V_y9LX-6WG…
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 05:15 PM
3

100% . The outside influences. I was married 34 years. We had ups and downs like everyone else but no infidelities, addictions, money problems, work issues... And then she went to a therapist for OCD and was put on anti depressants. I had no idea what these things do. They call it the divorce drug. All of a sudden I was responsible for her happiness. I found all that out Couple that with me making good money in the market and sharing that info and then talking with her scumbag brother (three mar…
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 01:06 PM
1

Yea, you're not in a good spot. It could be worked out but that is only IF she is able to change. You deserve better. Your complaints are valid. Good luck brother
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 12:46 PM
4

The problem you are in is that if you let it go , you will resent her more and more each day and chances are she will lose respect for you because you can’t respect someone who allows you not to contribute . This is a huge shit test . If you force her , she will start resenting you . She needs to want to contribute to the family . This is something that needs to be discussed so that both parties are on the same page .
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/23 09:20 PM
2

LOL- I'll check it out
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/23 06:16 PM
2

I hear people say how happy they are at 20 years.. I thought the same thing at 20 years.. Thing is, no one is safe. EVER. Women aren't built with the loyalty men are to their families. You could be doing great married at 10,15,20,25 years and you might go the distance but if you hit a landmine like an unethical therapist, influential friends or family, antidepressants, drugs, guys hitting on your wife. and many other things, your marriage could be over in a day. Because its all about how they "f…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/23 06:15 PM
5

80% of divorces are initiated by the women. Those statistics are staggering and can't be explained away. They love differently. They love in the moment and their love is conditional and temporary because it can be. They are rewarded by the court system. Society looks at them leaving a ,marriage as a hero without knowing the circumstances. They have support systems all over. Society looks at guys getting divorced like they did something wrong. Just this thread alone we are talking about womens di…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/23 02:18 PM
4

Yup …. Can’t blame the song but you could tell when they are playing the sane song and getting into the lyrics . Women make decisions based on emotions . That’s why they are easily influenced while men think in a logical manner and will try to work things out at all costs
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/23 12:48 PM
4

Not a failure but the biggest learning experience. I was naive in thinking that it couldn’t happen to me . Knowing that women are more often the ones that blindside their partner. I’m sure I’m not the only one that thought “ not my wife “ , she’s different “. She wasn’t . As others have stated , you can’t control what other people want to do, think or feel. I entered into a legal agreement knowing women are the ones pressured into getting married and start a family and then after a number of yea…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 11:50 AM
3

Guys should not get married any more .. period
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/23 01:48 PM
1

No one deserves to be devalued like that . You sound like you are trauma bonded to her . Look it up . There is a lot going on there. I don’t know for sure but just from what you wrote , it seems like she is a narcissist and is using your childhood trauma to abuse you . You say you’re not perfect , no one is . And no one should hear those things from the person who is supposed to love you . Do some research . Talk to some professionals who could help you heal and move on . You deserve to be happy…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/23 02:36 AM
1

Luckily , I only had one and she did okay but each case is different with different issues . I looked into reviews and word of mouth from others . The gender didn’t play a role in my decision
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 09:21 PM
9

Best thing is to consult a good attorney in your State. You want to keep it all separate from any accounts or business you have with your wife . Commingling funds might obligate you to split it Do NOT put it into a joint account even for a minute . Open an account in your name only and don’t mix funds in it. Any property inherited , do not let her live there or pay for any repair or upgrades .
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 12:35 AM
4

WTF? That is book material bro... Like they had that one about a guy who did that to women. Dirty John or something. Sorry you went through that. That has to fuck you up. Stay strong
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 03:30 PM
2

I had something similar . I used money that I had before we were married to put down in the house . She used to say my money was mine but she wanted half . She wanted to buy me out and against the advice of friends I let her because it was the joke our son grew up in. She knows people in real estate and got a bullshit appraisal . I had to pay for a legit one and it came in over 30K more . So the investment was well worth it . They are snakes , don’t trust a thing they do but make them think you …
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 02:14 PM
6

Damn bro .. the only thing more evil than a false DV is a false child abuse complaint . Glad you’re out of that nastiness
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 02:08 PM
4

Texas law I’m not sure of. I’m in NY and I was the petitioner . We had a separation agreement in place so if she didn’t respond within a time frame it would still proceed. You got a shit deal there. You gotta get a good attorney . She’s making 30k more than you and you’re sharing 50/50 and covering the health insurance? Everything is negotiable and although the courts granted her those things they might be temporary. The courts what families to have continuity until everything is settled . Good …
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 02:45 AM
6

The laws vary from state to state . What state are you in. Maybe someone from that state has the info
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 02:16 AM
3

Don’t take the bait . You don’t want any domestic violence calls. Don’t be petty or punitive . That will only get you twice as much back . Be nice but be focused on your goals and what you want. As others stated , it’s only temporary. You could also get Wyze cameras . They are inexpensive and with an SD card will record with sound . Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 02:08 AM
5

Sorry you are going through this . As others said , get a good attorney and asset protection strategies . What he asks for and what he ends up with won’t be the same . How you act and proceed now is important . He is also weaponizing anything he could . Your mother , alcohol use, law enforcement. Things you could control like alcohol use should stop. Don’t give him the ammo,. Instead wait for him to implode or get caught in lies. You are going to replay in your head everything you did for him an…
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 02:01 AM
2

Agreed . I edited it after I put a little more though into what he meant and how I interpreted it . I originally answered half assed and had to edit . When 80% of divorces are initiated by women , that should be a warning to every guy out there . There is just no benefit to the man . Depending on your State , the laws vary but one thing is constant , men get screwed. Until society recognizes that and makes the necessary changes , men need to hold firm ( pun intended)
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 08:38 PM
2

I’m sure my Uncle took that line from someone else so feel free to call it yours lol . I hear you on the renting of something that fucks . I’m not into using prostitutes. Skeeves me out too. I take it as just don't get married. Date , go out, have relationships but just don't buy ( get married) . I guess some could take it literal and think prostitutes and he might have been referring to that but in the context of marriage, its cheaper to just stay single (rent)
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 07:40 PM
7

What is not to understand ? The person threw away a friendship/partnership / marriage. They gave up on it and let it die after years of someone investing in them and the future together. “ throwing it away “ is just a euphemism. Look at the family’s financial situation before and after a divorce . That’s just one of many things thrown away
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 03:39 PM
5

There is a difference of being “reminded” about it and being “ triggered “ by it . My divorce was finalized in September so I totally understand not wanting all the negative feelings coming back and taking you back to a bad place. It’s painful going back to those thoughts and feelings but not if you are using it as a tool to grow and be better. That pain motivates me. I also agree about dating . At first I was going to jump right in. There were a number of woman that wanted to go out. I was gett…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 02:25 PM
2

Regardless of what happened during the relationship, during a divorce a woman is treated like a super hero . Cheered on by all. The you go girl , you found your voice crowd. The guy gets looked at like he did something wrong or he has leprosy. I went through that with a small circle of friends we had . There was only one couple we were close to that I could call friends and he kept in touch . The others were opportunistic and fair weather friends so she could have them . She hated them anyway. S…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 06:32 PM
1

There is just a coldness and betrayal in women that I see a lot and don’t see as much in men. Men could be jerks too but they get called out for it . Women cheat and it’s the man’s fault. 8O% of divorces are initiated by women because they are treated like super heroes by society . You go girl . The courts and the law rapes the man. The worst part is that most actively plan on leaving a year or so before . Lying to your face day in and day out as they plot what will be devastating to someone the…
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 01:28 PM
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