~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | Processing the anger of mixed signals, post-separation intimacy, and other menOh I suck at setting boundaries as well, you are not the only one here. Every time I tried I died on the inside a little because it felt selfish. But look at your words: should, kinda, if. You are still understandably swinging and women sense this. They are way better than us in this aspect and will always be. Once you have made a decision for your self, whatever that is going to be, then you’ll see the change. And so will she. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/08/26 10:39 AM |
| 3 | Processing the anger of mixed signals, post-separation intimacy, and other menHoly fuck. Your feelings are fully understandable. I’d try to stop letting her getting the best of both worlds. You are allowing this currently. Step on the breaks for your own sake. But man…this is fucked up, sorry you are going through this hell | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/08/26 09:31 AM |
| 1 | Divorce on our anniversaryFair enough | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/08/26 07:50 AM |
| 2 | Divorce on our anniversaryThere is no way you wouldn’t have recognized depression. If by any chance it actually was the case, her unhappiness is justified and explained. But I seriously doubt this, if you even remotely cared about her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/08/26 07:24 AM |
| 3 | Men with dissatisfied wives… is it fixable?It is a vicious circle actually. You haven't always been an unappreciative, nagging wife (I guess) and he hasn't always been like this either. We went through something similar, and filed for divorce unfortunately despite individual and couple's therapy. And giving up desires is not the solution on either end, because that leads nowhere. Compromise can work, and communication. Both are difficult to do properly. But you can either break the cycle, or the marriage will face very very difficult cha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/08/26 06:42 PM |
| 2 | I still care for my wife, but after everything that happened, I told her I won’t consider reconciliation unless she becomes independent. Am I wrong?Maybe consider helping her, not necessarily actively, more as a moral support if she deserves it in her journey to get independent. You don't necessarily have to turn your back and wait if a "fixed" person shows up at your doorstep in the future. Honestly, I totally agree if this boundary you've set is nothing more than a subconcious and elegant way to tell her "no, we will never get together again", or you actually believe she can make it. And I also would totally agree if you simply have said … | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/08/26 06:34 PM |
| 2 | Need suggestion. Going through separation. No kids.You have to respect her decision. It won’t make it easier for you, but eventually respecting the decision will lead to accept the decision. Just don’t leave it hanging in the air. Either agree on getting a divorce or on trying to fix it. Anything in between will destroy you. I’m not talking about an ultimatum, but open discussions. And then a conclusion. Ambiguity is something you should try to avoid at this stage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/08/26 12:51 PM |
| 2 | Not sure if it’s too late.Listen, I know it feels impossible under the current circumstances but it is ALWAYS 50-50 responsibility in a marriage. When you start self reflecting, do not fall in the trap of taking 100% responsibility. Such situations don’t necessarily mean that it is only due to mistakes made, but do depend in personality, your “baggage” you brought from your childhoods etc. But it does take a shitload of effort and there is absolutley zero guarantee it can be saved. I know from experience as we are starti… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/08/26 09:13 AM |
| 1 | Just sharing my 2cents on my separation experience after 10 yrs.Maybe we have to take a look at ourselves and learn how not to be people pleasers. But at the same time for me it seemed normal that my wife’s happiness is a super important if not THE most important thing for me. That is why I’m (for a few more months) her husband | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/26 05:31 AM |
| 1 | In a sexless marriageWhy on earth have you married a woman you weren’t attracted to? Was it an arranged marriage? And yeah, the other questions here also seem very valid, well…understandable to say the least. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/08/26 06:35 PM |
| 1 | Is divorced worth it?Sorry man, but it feels like you are looking for confirmation and resolution from fellow men instead of growing a pair and decide and then own your decision. You keep repeating your thoughts because you haven’t received the answer you came for. I’m sorry if I sound harsh, don’t know you and I mean no offence. But if you just need encouragement here it is: if you are unhappy with your marriage and see no chance of fixing it, ignore any other circumstance and get a divorce. If you are miserable th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/08/26 06:30 PM |
| 4 | Just sharing my 2cents on my separation experience after 10 yrs.I can as well relate to this. Not sure though how much of this is on me, because ideally everyone is reaponsible for their own happyness, you are not supposed to expect it from someone else. But I just couldn’t figure it out how to balance between “sorry, not my problem, but I can try to sort it out with you” and “her mood is my mood and since I try to feel good I must make her feel good”. And these “make her feel good” attempts more often than not backfire as in “let me feel however I feel”. Fa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/26 05:48 PM |
| 1 | Am I Doing Divorce Wrong? Is This Calm… Normal?I tend to agree. Not to the extent of not loving for a long time already, but to experience the result of anticipated grief | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/08/26 10:43 AM |
| 4 | Needing help with cohabitating soon to be ex while she engages in activitiesHonestly, this is just pure evil to rub your nose in this so directly. I would die if I were you. The minimum is to have the decency to keep this to herself. Sorry, but I’d not be able to tolerate this like you do “it stings”…fuck me it is not a sting but torture | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/08/26 10:40 AM |
| 1 | Why can't I get angry at her?Actually you should set YOURSELF free to find peace | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/08/26 07:04 AM |
| 1 | At a crossroads: Should I end this relationship or try to make it work?What if the truth is neither? I mean come clean. You enjoy but can’t yet commit and don’t want to pretend. She might just as well be fully okay tobtake it slow or keep it casual. Do what you twll youeself when you don’t think about the answer | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/08/26 07:48 PM |
| 1 | HelpSorry to hear you are in such situation. I don’t think you’ll be 100% sure before making the decision given there was no cheating etc. What I can recommend is to try to be mutually sure you have tried all options to fix things. Everything should be put on the table, which is really scary, but I think necessary. This will help on the long run to digest what seem to be very possible now. Hang in there. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/26 02:38 PM |
| 1 | 10 Month UpdateDamn this sounds bad. Remember though, and I have learned in therapy (and now as our divorce is in progress) that it is ALWAYS 50-50 responsibility when a relationship goes belly up. Always. Please try to accept this take it very seriously. Start with identifying and accepting your 50%. You might need help for that (like therapy) because it is very easy to end up blaming yourself for everything. But if you do it right you’ll learn more about her 50% and this might get you closer to closure at on… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/26 01:34 PM |
| 2 | 10 Month UpdateSorry to hear, man. As for the reason why it all came back again, you have said it yourself. The whole struggle with the court date is more than enough to trigger such feelings and push you back in that stat of mind. I think to actually start really healing you need to wait till all the dust settles. Regarding what you wrote about how she handled things, that is why it passes so freakin' hard. You couldn't have a closure, at least not a proper one. As tough and draining it can be, talking throug… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/26 06:46 PM |
| 1 | Mid-divorce, 20 year marriage. I still love her and I miss her, and I never want to speak to her ever again.Similar situation here. The whole thing is pretty fresh though, we decided to end the marriage a month ago and she’ll move out in a few weeks. Regarding the ring…she took it off a week ago, and it felt like a kick in the heart. I decided not to make a fuss about it, ours is an amicable situation thank god, but still it hurt like hell. I’m wearing mine for now. Maybe it is ego, respect towards here (not reciprocated apparently), or just too afraid tobtake it off yet due to what it means. All I’m … | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/26 12:07 PM |
| 1 | Should I go back?Touché | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/26 11:57 AM |
| 1 | Am I crazy, or are these expectations unreasonable during a divorce?Hi, similar situation over here. What turned out to be behind her actions was that she had (allegedly) that 1% hope to reconcile. I was pushing things forward gently but non-negotiably. Once she realized there is 0 chance, she got a bit more active, but the constant push was needed. This is regarding the official todos and her finding a new apartment. When it comes to sharing day to day stuff I don’t give a fuck and act normally. She is not asking for help in crazy things and the divorce so far … | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/07/26 07:23 AM |
| 1 | Don’t accept mediocrityYour words really resonate with me. I have exactly the same thoughts and doubts. Have I become lazy in our marriage and took her for granted, or were my needs really so much simpler? I know for a fact that I have made big mistakes that have hurt her, but I have honestly apologized for those admitting then. But when you feel whatever you (think) you are doing to meet her needs always seem to be not enough, you start to lose your mojo. But as you have said, maybe she was a much better spouse than … | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/07/26 07:48 AM |
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