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No_Project_4738 Archive

View 0 posts and 200 comments by No_Project_4738 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

You are can have whatever preference you want, but it’s personal information about them, so how are you going to find out about it? Some people keep that stuff private until they really really know you. So are you saying that you would date someone for a year and even if everything was great, if they share they have been assaulted, you would break up wth them?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/26 03:59 PM
–

No, I don’t think they are the same. We have different functions in the reproductive process. For the most part women have a high risk/low reward model for sex. We risk pregnancy, physical and emotional vulnerability and lower chance for orgasm. Men have low risk/high reward in sex. I think that if we could somehow do away with all or most of the risk that women experience and have an almost guaranteed orgasm, women would absolutely be having more sex. I can’t say it would be equal, but it would…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/26 06:33 AM
2

Oh definitely I love it. Your style represents you. It’s a creative and artistic medium. It can show your level of thoughtfulness and intention.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/26 06:24 AM
1

Intelligence, humor and style is my ‘I’m melting’ combo 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/26 02:01 AM
1

Apps ratios are approximately 65-70% men and 30-35% women so of course men are going to have a bigger issue. If women make up 30 percent of the users then even if every woman matched with a man there would still be 70% of men without matches. You have to factor in male competition and user ratio
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 03:13 PM
1

When you go to a restaurant, do you need to announce you are hungry?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 06:40 AM
1

Agreed! It’s like the grocery store, it’s the place where the product is supplied but what and how you choose what goes in your cart is entirely up to you. If you let the supermarket ads tell you what to buy or you go into the store hungry you might end up with stuff you don’t need. You have to have your own strategic plan, an understanding of what you want and prepare for all the ‘unhealthy items’ that will bombard you. Best to have a list and walk quickly by all the wrong ingredients so that y…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 02:30 AM
1

I think it’s that Gen Z is the first generation with unmitigated access to porn, and all types of porn. I think it’s hugely impactful on people’s views of sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 04:11 PM
–

Relationships are about the ability to relate to one another. If you only see a woman for her utility don’t be surprised when she loses all desire to provide you any.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 05:28 AM
1

What is the woman’s equivalent for the whole ‘boys will be boys’ cultural rhetoric?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 05:45 AM
-1

I’m not disagreeing with you. I am just saying that ultimately, attraction and desire are personal. I may have a preference for men with brown eyes, but I’m not attracted to all men with brown eyes. And who they are affects my desire for them. I’m speaking for myself but I have never felt passionate or desiring of a man unless he stimulated me in all ways. Emotionally, intellectually,physically sexually. That is a high bar and what I’m saying is that can’t be found in a country, only in an indiv…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 11:46 PM
3

The world is filled with average looking people that are in relationships. It’s much less about looks that you think, unless of course, you are looking for something shallow. People who want long term relationships prioritize other things alongside attraction. So if you are unable to find a woman or relationship in your home country it’s probably less to do with looks and more to do with personality or how you approach relationships. If your views or approach to relationships are unappealing to …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 10:48 PM
13

Genuine desire for a man comes from the woman, not from the location of the woman. Nothing wrong with expanding your circle to find someone but someone desiring you comes from who you are as a person, it doesn’t matter how far you go, because you’re always bringing you. Genuine desire is either there or it’s not.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 10:10 PM
1

Most women feel sexual desire, but acting on that desire is different. How would you know what percentage of women have felt sexual desire for a man if they don’t act on it? Most women need certain things to act on sexual desire, safety being one of them. I don’t care how much of a hot Chad he is, if he doesn’t make me feel safe, I’m not going to have sex with him. There will always be a small percentage of women who don’t need to feel safe to have sex, but it’s small and will forever be small. …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 06:40 PM
–

All those problems existed before porn though because the root is entitlement, insecurity and unprocessed anger or other emotions. This is why before porn ever existed, women were oppressed and treated poorly. Porn isn’t their parent making them promises regarding women. I would hate to know how much porn one would need to consume in order to believe it’s making them promises or that all these scenarios should transfer over to real life women, yikes. I mean, I do agree that those things happen, …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 04:13 PM
8

I think they know, they just don’t care. As long as they are getting what they want out of it. Don’t forget there are a lot of shallow, selfish and/or desperate people in the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 11:40 PM
1

Everyone you like has qualities you admire. Think about your relationships, you admire things about them. Sometimes those qualities are packaged in the ‘bad boy’ frame because that guy has admirable qualities too. Most people don’t choose someone who is completely bad. And if you have a choice between a bad boy type and a guy who had all those same admirable qualities less the bad ones, most of us would choose the better guy, but sometimes life doesn’t present those options. For example, if we h…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 06:26 PM
4

How do you know anything anyone says is true? You have to verify the information. The groups don’t hold any value if everything that is said is untrue or slanderous. It’s not beneficial for women to have a group like that. It says a lot about you that you think we created this huge network of groups just to be slanderous against men. Most of us are there to make sure we aren’t dating abusers, liars, cheaters, hobosexuals, financial abusers, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 06:44 PM
2

It’s not about believing them, it’s about listening to experiences and noticing patterns. If a man is posted and every single comment says ‘he’s married’, it might be wise to verify that if I choose to continue. But without that information, I may have proceeded differently. Yes, people do make up stuff, but I don’t think that happens in most cases. Most of us want good information so we give good information.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 03:33 PM
7

You are mistaken, they are not about revenge. I’m in the groups and they have always been about safety. There are rules and people have to follow the rules or they get removed. They aren’t perfect, but they are a net positive for women. There are a lot of shitty, sneaky men out there and we have a right to know about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 03:21 PM
4

With the advent of online dating, people end up dating people outside their circles. family and friends aren’t going to know anything about your app matches. There is a statistic out there that 30% of app users are married or in relationships already. There is no reason why we can’t extend our circle to obtain information. If you are okay with our own friends and family providing critiques then why wouldn’t you be okay with other people’s friends and family providing critiques? If you want to ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 03:15 PM
29

I’m not against men having their own app. They actually do have them and I’ve seen them. And like you said, it’s not about men keeping each other safe from toxic women, it was just another way to have locker room talk about the women they were dating. 🙄 The women’s AWDTSG groups are designed to keep women safe as a primary goal and the rules of the group are designed around that intent and most of the time that intent is realized. Men’s groups have different intents and practices
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 04:10 AM
2

No such thing as a free ride. You pay one way or another.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 09:47 PM
–

Exactly, some is better than none. I think the better question is once in the relationship, why do they get so greedy?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:54 PM
–

You could turn it around though and say men shouldn’t get into relationships with women because women aren’t going to want as much sex as they do.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:47 AM
-1

I think you are right to a certain extent. However, I think that choice is difficult at that level of dating apps because you don’t actually know anyone. Take being in high school for example. When you start as a freshman, if you’ve never met anyone in your grade, presumably all those people could potentially be your friends. However, with time and getting to know people, you make friends with the select few that you connect with the most. Even after four years of high school, most people only h…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 04:44 PM
1

This only matters when you are trying to be something to all women instead of being authentic in order to find a woman. If I tried to become what every man wanted me to be I’d go insane. Each person is a unique ice cream flavor and their pairings will be specific to their unique flavor. Same goes for you. Find your authentic self in order to find your authentic pairing.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 04:36 AM
–

I would argue that modern dating /online dating makes it harder to know if you are interested in someone prior to the date. It wasn’t like that historically. Prior to online dating, the only way you met was in person so you already were ahead as far as sensing chemistry and personality. You might have had multiple instances in which you met the person or interacted before the date. Before online dating people had less options, but more interest in the person they wanted. My suggestion is to find…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 10:04 PM
–

I disagree. But it depends on what the woman is looking for. Maybe for a good time, charisma is nice but in the long run it’s not the most important thing. Generosity is higher on my list. To your second point, good ol modern dating with option after option, perhaps date less women? If you’re just dating to date then I can see how paying for meals adds up. But if you are paying for the meal of the one person you are really interested in, it’s a drop in the bucket.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:33 PM
5

I’m not assuming any role, I’m simply arguing why women, and I would argue any human, thinks someone paying for a meal is attractive. People like feeling cared for. That’s why I pay for meals for my friends and family and vice versa. It’s one of the ways we signal to one another that we matter. That’s never going to change. Yes, there are definitely shallow people who want someone to pay for a meal because they believe in gender roles or want free food. But non-traditional women who aren’t shall…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 05:46 AM
10

That’s an interesting take. Are you also upset that you were offered a position after you interviewed because you were more qualified? Relationships are not places of unconditional love, as much as we would like them to be. There are requirements to get onto the ride. Men have requirements too before they will entertain a women, don’t pretend otherwise. It’s unfortunate you see paying for meals as a negative. Sometimes I will pay for the meal when I’m with my friends or family. Sometimes they pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 05:13 AM
6

You’ve never been highly attracted to someone and wanted to stand out from the competition? If not in a romantic sense, what about in an interview for a position you really want? The point is that you cant eliminate competition when it comes to dating. If I know all my competitors are going 50/50, then all I have to do to stand out is pay for the date. You don’t think certain men are going to take advantage of that? When it comes down to it, part of the reason why men traditionally pay for dates…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:49 AM
10

I agree with you that we should have a cultural dating rule that first date costs should be split 50/50. However, what’s to stop a man that is super interested in a woman from paying for the dates and thus, setting himself apart from all the other men going 50/50? My point is that competition disrupts a 50/50 rule because someone that is super interested is going to try to stand out.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:08 AM
1

You’re essentially saying that even a women who doesn’t take care of herself still has something to offer that is valuable enough that she get attention from men. So, wouldn’t the solution be to have something of great value to offer? Having something of great value to offer isn’t exclusive to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 06:59 PM
1

You are assuming choice is easy or can be made separately. Choice precipitates action. There is no action without choice and no choice without action. So making a choice comes with an associated action and if that action is perceived as difficult, the person might hold off on that choice because they are not ready for all that comes with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 10:46 PM
5

Investment in yourself is a confidence builder. Yes, building confidence sometimes requires taking action. I just like to differentiate between ego and confidence because they are different. Confidence builds, produces results and is positive. Whereas ego boosts are transitory, dependent on circumstances and can be obtained selfishly. Working out and loosing weight is a different issue because it’s completely self motivated and directed whereas casual sex is dependent on another person agreeing …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 11:36 PM
23

I don’t think ego boosts are the same as confidence. Confidence is, being sure of yourself despite what is happening. Ego is, if this thing happens then I will feel good about myself Two different orientations imo We should be seeking situations that build confidence, not ego. Not saying it’s wrong to want to be desired but you cannot gain true confidence from transitory actions. You will just have to keep repeating the act to get the validation if it doesn’t come from within yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 08:44 PM
3

I support it as far as people should be allowed to do what they want. I don’t agree with policing or shaming people’s job choices and I think sex work should be legal. However, I think choosing a profession that commodifies sexuality or your body allows people to continue see women, or a subset of women, as products/objects to be consumed and I disagree with that stance; I think it sets women back so my belief is we would be better off not participating.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 11:14 PM
4

I don’t think it’s a good idea. However, I think if you are going to be in the sex industry, it’s probably the best place to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:50 PM
11

Women do so much self-objectifying and then complain about being objectified.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 05:36 PM
1

Whether they recognize or not, they are filtering for a certain type of woman; imo, someone that is deeply insecure. Water seeks its own level.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:42 PM
1

Women speak about what problems they have in dating because that’s what they are experiencing. It may feel minimizing to men who struggle with options, but that doesn’t mean that’s the intention. Someone is always going to have a bigger (or lesser) problem than you, does that mean yours is invalid? It’s pointless to argue at all. Because arguing about whose problem is bigger or lesser doesn’t solve either.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 07:17 PM
6

sex is not akin to food in that you will die if you don’t eat. If not food, what analogy is appropriate?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 05:59 PM
2

Ehh there are too many ‘average’ married men for me to agree with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 12:31 AM
2

Okay but that goes both ways. OP is complaining that his way of sharing isn’t being accepted by women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 09:32 PM
2

Opinions are ‘allowed’ but we all know how sharing your unsolicited opinion can go.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 09:05 PM
4

Ehh, unless men are stating facts, they are just stating their opinions on things in a more raw, unfiltered way. Okay…still an opinion, not facts, still totally unnecessary.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 12:35 AM
0

If it hasn’t happened by now I think it’ll never happen and it’s probably because on some level they don’t want to make it safe. I honestly think a good solution would be to encourage males to become sex workers. 😅They would have a vested interest in keeping their customers safe and happy…and best job ever right?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 12:08 AM
1

Yes, aka vaginal tenting ⛺️
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 05:44 AM
6

Every woman is different. We all have different likes and dislikes. The vagina needs to be warmed up. It actually goes through an elongation and engorgement process during arousal. It takes some time, so if man goes straight into pounding right away, it can be very uncomfortable and unpleasant. It’s possible that the same woman who didn’t want the pounding in the beginning might want it later if you take the time for foreplay
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 03:55 AM
–

Sex is a relationship. It’s the closest in proximity that you will ever get with another human being. If you aren’t paying for it, then each person is doing it because they want to be that close with the other. Something that requires someone else’s body in that intimate of a capacity requires that person to want to be THAT close to you in that capacity. It means that you have to be, at least to that person, likeable enough (and hygienic enough) for them to be that close. I liken it to another i…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 03:08 AM
6

I agree with men having deep friendships with other males. Most women are heterosexual. About 9%–10% of women identify as LGBTQ+ overall (including bisexual, lesbian, etc.). -Gallup.com Speaking for myself, I am heterosexual, with no inclination towards any other orientation. Any lack of interest I have in men rests solely on the man himself.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/26 05:47 PM
3

If there was no orgasm gap then it would make the idea more plausible. But the reasons why the gap no longer exists matter. It’s very context dependent. For example, if it was because every man became a safe, respectful, kind considerate partner who took the time to close the gap, it would definitely increase the chances. Versus let’s say its because a pill was invented that allowed women to orgasm during sex 100% of the time, then not really.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 04:41 PM
-4

It’s not my post, not my job. You are creating a problem where there was none. The post, nor I, said women hate men, nor said men are hating. If anything, it’s saying that most men have favorable views of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 01:21 AM
35

Why didn’t you ask whether it was their experiences with men? Negative personal experiences are obviously going to be the most impactful.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 11:46 PM
1

Actually we want the elusive third option: charismatic, funny attractive and kind, respectful I think people forget that attraction is complex and subjective. We choose based on what qualities are more important to us and also based on what options we have available. If humor is pivotal to me as an attractive quality and of the two men, one I share a sense of humor with and the other I don’t, then all things considered, I would gravitate towards the humor person. However, if there were two men w…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 06:55 PM
5

Okay, I hope you find whatever you are looking for!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 04:58 AM
5

I highly disagree that sex should be performative for men. The best sexual partners Ive had treated it as a unique learning experience and we communicated prior to sex and also throughout the experience. It’s not as if you need to discuss it play by play, but having some sort of discussion prior shows you care. Communication and caring about your partner will get repeat experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 04:09 AM
8

You think women don’t like communicating? Have you ever actually met a woman? Not only that, sex is one of the deepest forms of communication. It won’t be good if you’re holding back in some way.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 02:33 AM
21

If you have pure intentions, then no, you don’t owe them anything. However, I would be curious what you need during sex that is causing these experiences to be not be worth continuing. For example, if the thing you need could be solved by communicating that need prior, and you do not communicate or give the other person a chance to give you what you need, then your intentions are not pure. Also, if you notice a reoccurring pattern in your own life of leaving people after a couple sexual experien…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 12:40 AM
–

Do you mean to tell me you share every thought that flashes through your mind? If not, why? Does that mean you are dishonest and disrespectful? Most people consider honesty in the context of also being kind. Even if you valued being 100% honest at all times, it would be ridiculous to expect or assume other people would follow suit in your values. I stand by the idea that if he truly believes himself to be ugly then at least have the confidence to not need others opinions on the matter. Be confid…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 10:30 PM
–

Well if you add additional factors, things can change. But most people aren’t going to voluntarily tell someone they are unattractive. These women are not his dating coach, they don’t have to lay everything on the table for him just because he wants them to. Besides, clearly he already believes himself to be unattractive, why does he need anyone to confirm what he already thinks?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 10:13 PM
–

But you understand they’d have to go against social conditioning to tell you that you are unattractive (assuming they truly think that), right? It’s just not something most people are going to do. So they tell you to work on the things you have control over.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 09:00 PM
–

There is usually a reason people don’t just straight up say you’re ugly or unattractive, and it has to do with not wanting to hurt someone’s feelings and/or being socially polite. It sounds like you want someone to forgo their desire not to hurt your feelings/politeness and just be blunt. Is it because you feel patronized otherwise?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 08:52 PM
–

Yup, they want to shame and patronize! No other reason. Otherwise, they’d just say, that sucks, better luck next time or wishing you better or something more neutral.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 05:58 PM
–

Yeah I get it. But literally this whole back and forth could be stopped if the person just said, ‘damn that sucks, I hope you find a car that runs well.’ Like how about being a leader instead of getting into the tit v tat.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 05:51 PM
–

It’s not necessarily wrong. It’s more about the way it’s said. People definitely use it to shame. They use it in a non-empathetic way. It’s like if you were telling someone a story about how you bought a car and how the used car salesman scammed you and sold you a lemon and after you told the whole story, the person said ‘you shoulda chose better’. It’s like damn okay, I’m just expressing the story of what happened to me and you’re kind of being a dic about it, why?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 04:31 PM
1

No because he is using his experience to generalize. It’s like if I had some men catcall me and now I say all men catcall and I’m telling everyone not to speak to men. Just sounds like he wants to spread his biases around the room
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 03:36 PM
1

You just ignore it? Have you never gotten not-so-great advice before? Why go to the lengths of judging an entire group of people? Seems like a waste of time
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 03:08 PM
-1

One of the points of obtaining advice is to see things from a different perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 05:03 AM
7

Nobody is saying women don’t or can’t get value out of having children. You are the one saying you need that in order to feel loved. It’s a big ask is all, and I’m wondering what is the equivalent love that men provide?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 02:08 AM
33

It sounds like you are saying that a woman’s role in love is to provide her body physically, to have sex and give children? In the example you provided of a 35 year old woman who seeks to travel, you disqualify her from being able to love you because she ‘only has a few more years of healthy fertility’ left so her ability to love you in contingent on pregnancy? I don’t think you will ever understand how much sacrifice is involved in pregnancy, birth and child rearing in terms of your body, your …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 03:01 AM
2

I don’t think extending empathy is required, especially if it’s difficult for you to understand the problem. I mean empathy IS really hard if you can’t even understand or acknowledge the problem, right? I think the point is more akin to if you can’t help someone, just don’t hurt them. It doesn’t really matter if you can’t/won’t/don’t empathize with someone’s plight, as long as you don’t hurt them or make things worse. Only in the event that non-empathy prevents you from being a good and decent d…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/26 10:15 PM
2

Physical touch as a love language means you feel love through physical affection. None of the questions to determine it as a love language are about sex. My secondary love language is physical touch because I love hugs, kisses, cuddling and being physically close to my partner. If sex was the only time I got touched I would not feel loved.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 07:07 PM
1

If that’s the scenario sure. But it’s not like that’s the only way these things go. Dishonest communication can lead to feel used. If for example, the man is not looking for a relationship, or knows he doesn’t want a relationship with this particular woman but does not explicitly say that, instead he says, he is open to a relationship or going with the flow; that is manipulating the situation for his own benefit. Don’t pretend this doesn’t happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 06:30 PM
2

It’s very possible to view a woman as a means to your own end, which is the definition of using them. The question is whether using them causes harm. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t. That depends on how you approach the situation. But saying men don’t use women for sex is just disingenuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 06:11 PM
-1

Therapy is a broad word, it can include many things. The point is that you should seek some sort of therapeutic processing instead of traumatizing or hurting those around you. If someone is telling you to go to therapy, that should be your first clue. Even if you don’t go the traditional talk-therapy route, something needs to be done. Problems don’t just go away on their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 09:49 PM
4

I’m not into casual but if I was, I would have to feel safe with the guy, that eliminates a fair portion of men. I’d have to be attracted to him, which eliminates a big group. I’d have to feel some connection or vibe and the practical things would have to be there, close location, schedules align, clean, etc. It ends up not being worth it to me especially since there is no guarantee the sex will be good and sex involves a lot of risk. Obviously if I didn’t care about any of this stuff, it would …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 03:54 PM
0

Not sure what you mean. I think most of society would describe confidence, assertiveness, providing value, etc as positive traits to have. And why wouldn’t those things benefit you. So instead of being confident and assertive, you are what?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 06:28 PM
-2

I’m not seeing the negative in being an assertive, confident person who provides value and has control over his emotions.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 06:24 PM
1

Intelligent people know there are vast differences within an entire gender. They take responsibility for their part or role in their experiences. That’s what I had to do with my experiences with men. Especially if I wanted to give myself a chance to experience better. I can only blame the other person so much if I’ve chosen them. Can you give me an example of a rigid gender role that you have experienced or that you think would contribute to someone mgtow’ing?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 06:03 PM
2

You mean physically attractive? Okay so what? Women as a whole tend to take the man’s full persona into consideration when determining attractiveness. If you are an attractive jerk I could care less which way you go. If they are attractive kind funny considerate intelligent men, you may have an argument. But I think those are the types of men who have no need for mgtow anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/26 05:14 PM
–

Obviously there is always a reason why. It could be that they slept with 2 people per year for 25 years. It could be any number of reasons. But you don’t get to make up a story about their character just based on a number. Again, someone’s body count does not give you enough information to know their current intent. If they sleep with one person at a time that technically fits the definition of monogamy. The point is that because cheating is a character issue and having consensual sex is not, to…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 03:34 PM
1

Criminal activity and cheating are issues of character, while having consensual sex is not a character issue. I think it is disingenuous to compare the two. Having more consensual sexual partners than you might prefer does not equal a person who cheats. In order to come to that conclusion you have to make up a story. I would rather remain rooted in reality and what I have personally observed.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 06:45 AM
1

No I wouldn’t. Because those things are crimes and criminal behavior. Are you trying to infer that someone’s dating or consensual sexual history is synonymous with criminal activity? I already provided a working analogy.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 01:54 AM
2

Well how can they judge you unless you made it known somehow? If I look at an attractive person and say nothing to no one, no one can place any judgement on me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 03:24 PM
2

The post was not talking about the subjective parts of attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 03:20 PM
7

You made a claim that I was a deviant and that my attraction to someone younger was about wanting to control and manipulate. I’m simply pointing out that by putting on most movies I can see an attractive man in the peak of health and appreciate his beauty without any desire to control or manipulate (not that it would even be possible), so your claim is baseless presumption.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 07:14 AM
9

Attraction does not equal action. I’m acknowledging the biological fact that someone in the peak of health is more attractive than someone not in that peak of health. That’s why in all the action movies you usually see a younger buff dude, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 06:52 AM
12

Yeah exactly. This post is yet again another ‘reminder’ that they are attracted to younger women. Like okay, I find younger men much more attractive too, what’s your point?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 05:51 AM
21

I don’t think people finding younger people in the peak of health attractive surprising. I think it’s the behavior surrounding the attraction that can be problematic. I wouldn’t be surprised if my boyfriend found a younger woman at the coffee shop attractive. I would be surprised if he stopped talking to me to stare at her. I think oftentimes, the problem is with the behavior surrounding the biological fact not the biological fact itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 03:57 AM
37

Yes, not surprisingly all younger people are more attractive, both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 03:35 AM
1

Yeah I’m not seeing how that analogy is comparable. The bank has a specific set of non-emotional criteria/internal policy they use to evaluate giving someone a loan. They aren’t allowed to extend or deny loans based on personal value judgements. That’s called discrimination. Listen this guy can have whatever preferences and requirements he wants, but it’s not based in logic or facts if he is evaluating her past over who she currently is. And especially in his case, he would prefer to judge her b…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 10:19 PM
-1

It’s only valid reason to care about someone’s current behaviors because current behaviors are what will continue to happen. Any decision to place a higher value judgement on someone’s past versus their present requires a story. You have to say well because they chose X, in the past, that means they are still X. If they chose you currently, why is value being placed in their past choice? If you are a high quality man clearly she has grown. It’s almost like you want to punish her for growing and …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 11:57 PM
–

No. You don’t get to say it makes sense to move slow in every other area but when it comes to physical intimacy it must move fast. It’s kinda convenient that you believe a woman moving fast sexually means she likes you when that also happens to be entirely beneficial to you. Women are not a monolith. Some women move slow. Some women need an emotional connection. Some have religious beliefs. If you need sex right away to feel liked just say that, don’t project.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 06:21 PM
–

That’s why the phrase ‘take it with a grain of salt’ was coined. People give advice based on their personal experiences and feelings related to the advice. The problem is not gender, it is how much of the advice is being imbued with their emotional and personal experiences. There is a reason why people go to third parties for help like pastors, therapists, etc. Their training + detachment to the issue can allow them to give advice that can be immensely helpful. So, don’t look at gender, look at …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 08:53 PM
2

When you are survival mode, it’s much harder to date the modern way or with modern women. Capitalism can play a part in that but it’s not fully to blame. Usually if someone is having problems in dating it’s because there are multiple issues at play. When an issue stems from one source it’s much more obvious. It’s definitely also the rise of social media, online dating culture, covid lockdown ramifications, the rise of next generation/how men/women were raised (genZ)and so on and so forth. But th…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 05:47 PM
–

Apps are only as good as they as designed. They are like the supermarket, they supply the products but it’s your job as the person buying the product to fully inspect it before putting it in your shopping cart and purchasing it. Some people opt to grow their own food because they’d rather know where it comes from. That’s more work of course. Everything comes with pros and cons. People need to ‘read the labels’ before they buy.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 11:14 PM
–

Online dating has been around for what 30 years or so? Prior to that -essentially all of history- people met through being in the same places; work school, friends etc worked just fine to get the human race to where it is now.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 11:04 PM
–

You think so? My experience is that work and school have allowed me to build friendships slowly. It has allowed me to see how people behave over time. I have liked people more the longer I worked with them and gotten to know them and there are other people I have liked less the more time I spent with them. There is no romantic pressure so people act normally.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 10:24 PM
–

With online dating yes, it can be more challenging. But that’s why lots of people don’t opt to date online. They prefer to meet through friends, family, school, work, church, etc., because those methods allow for more vetting and to gradually get to know someone. One of the main issues with online dating is that people jump into a dating/romantic/sexual situation right away instead of building a friendship or getting to know someone over time because there is no organic way to do that. If your f…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 10:18 PM
18

If one person was saying all that then sure, it’s inconsistent. But you are pulling that from different sources. There is no blue pill bible. Just people who are mostly speaking anecdotally. What’s your intention in amalgamating it?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 10:07 PM
5

If all men want sex and f-bois only want sex, then spend time with men who want more than sex. Observe who wants more than sex. In other words, they must initiate non-sexual ways of connecting.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 08:48 PM
3

If someone tells me they would rather interact with a wild animal than me, I could stop interacting with them sure. That’s the clear cut approach. But what if this was someone I was, at the very least, interested in, let alone cared about? Wouldn’t I have some responsibility to at least get curious about how I could potentially improve the situation? Ultimately the point of the bear /man analogy is that women are waving a flag, hoping men will hear them and collectively improve. No one wants to …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 12:44 AM
8

Femininity and masculinity at their core are about wholeness and authenticity. When you are being your most true and authentic self, you are embodying what it truly means to be masculine or feminine, for you. After all, each of us is an individual before anything else. And we each have a unique way of expressing our traits. So I agree with you, many people see femininity (and masculinity) in a more superficial way and that limits them. But when you exist as the whole and complete version of your…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 11:26 PM
-2

Exactly. I think what it comes down to is they want the woman they want to want them and when they don’t have success they are willing to go to extreme measures (ie consider becoming an asshole) to try and get that particular woman or type of woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 06:35 PM
0

The diaper analogy was simply an analogy to show that the whole ‘past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior’ is not accurate. Insert any behavior you did in the past that you no longer do. I could have easily said you used to dye your hair blonde in the past but now your current hair color is red. I think if you consider this enough you will see that we use current data more so than past data and that current data is a much better barometer for who someone is and will continue to be.…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 05:32 AM
0

‘ I would turn around without hesitation if someone made an argument that the past 5 years of their adult life are comparable to actual infancy in terms of accountability.’ Who made this argument? Why are you bringing accountability into this? ‘It actually feels gaslighty of you to say that nobody “normal” cares about other peoples pasts when everyone absolutely does.’ Not sure what you’re referring to. I never used the word normal. I said the logical position is that current behavior is the bes…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/26 01:04 AM
5

Be honest though. If the woman who you are with is amazing, kind and considerate, etc, that’s who she is. Would learning her past change that for you? If that’s true, then what you are saying is that who someone currently is, is less important than what they have done in the past. That’s illogical and that’s why someone wouldn’t tell you the truth because they know you will take the information they give you and apply it illogically. I would recommend the woman leave you because it makes no sens…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/26 04:17 PM
–

It’s just reality that the more factors that go into being attracted to someone and the higher the risk for acting on that attraction, the less people you will be attracted to enough to take action towards. Attraction is complex for women. Male attraction is much more linear.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 05:35 PM
1

Thanks ! lol yup bully’s gonna bully
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 07:54 PM
1

Most women want to have amazing, passionate sex, it’s just that there is a higher cost for most of us to have sex, so we want a man who is interested in us and will invest in us beyond sex. Men that don’t approach us and that we have to select may be interested in connection but where is the passion? Usually not high. The goal is to attract a passionate man who will approach and is also interested in investing. The needle in the haystack.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 07:22 PM
1

Imagine voluntarily taking the low ground and hating on random ideas when you could just come up with your own. 🤷‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 12:17 AM
1

You calm down hater 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 04:50 PM
3

It’s just an example 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 02:57 AM
15

A woman that actually wants to get to know a man will be okay with a date that facilitates that happening. I think the core reason why most women don’t like those dates you mentioned are because they lack creativity, not because they are low cost. Basic date: Let’s go get coffee somewhere Creative date: let’s go get coffee but first we flip a coin and whoever wins gets to pick the place, then afterwards let’s walk to this museum/bookstore/place nearby and discuss the art/books or whatever Same c…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 06:49 PM
1

It’s true from my perspective/experience. I find women value cooperation on the whole. Which would explain why we typically don’t want to argue with men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 08:21 PM
-1

I liken the reasoning to why men aren’t supposed to hit women. You have the capacity to do more damage, it’s not a fair fight. Also, men seem like enjoy fighting. Think of how many sports involving physical aggression in some way. Whereas it’s less so with women. Typically women don’t get together and ‘roughhouse’ with each other. Men can be verbally aggressive and harsh. Women typically value cooperation. Imagine if one person got energy from arguing while one person was drained? I think this i…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/26 07:22 PM
5

It’s basically acknowledging their D is a -1
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 11:40 PM
1

Anything said in a profile is tentative at best. It has to be verified by getting to know the person. I consider it an advertisement. No profile info could mean many things so I’m not willing to definitively label it. And what do you mean photos like everyone else? You are faulting someone for looking similar to the other people you have been looking at? Seems like a very subjective problem. Yes, so the app would not have traditional swiping. Profiles would require you to upload a video as your …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/26 06:19 PM
1

You are equating good looking men with candy/sweet nutritionless food at the grocery store, but what if we didn’t know that the candy wasn’t nutritional? We don’t know if the good looking guy is vapid. You are making a big assumption that women aren’t willing to make. Do you assume all the good looking women on apps are vapid and thus, do not swipe on them or try to connect with them? And yes, when using apps I have a strategy that works very well. Within the first few sentences of matching with…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/26 09:36 PM
–

I agree with you, coming to a consensus of standards would be impossible. Perhaps instead, we could have a list of guiding principles to refer to while dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 07:30 AM
–

I agree we should have some cultural dating standards! The problem is how does everyone come to an agreement about what the standards are? How do they become implemented? My thought is they need to be intuitive things that make sense, less rule, more standard. My standards would have people do the below: 1. If you meet on an app, you should video chat prior to meeting. 2. First date should be zero or low cost activity, fun playful,no serious talk 3. Second date is something quiet to allow for di…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 05:25 AM
3

The Institute for Family Studies, really? This is not a peer reviewed study. Anecdotally, I have never heard any women in my 40+ years on earth speak of men in terms of wanting them for their purity. Granted, I am not a conservative, so perhaps those circles do care. That was my whole statement, we care about loyalty, but not in terms of purity.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 06:38 PM
0

You start observing them when you meet them, the patterns you observe are the ones they have presently. It does no good to place greater weight on their past, as you indicated, people can lie. How do you know what they are telling you about their past is true? You must develop trust first, and you develop trust by observing their consistency of character. Observation is not a gendered thing. Women must observe the men they are considering for relationship as well. It’s the only way to know if th…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 05:47 AM
0

Notice I said observation, not believing what someone tells you about themselves. Observation is based on your own ability to collect data and notice patterns and behaviors, it has nothing to do with the other person, except that they are the subject. If you are admitting that you would rather stereotype someone than get to know them, then you are telling me you don’t have the skill or ability to observe them accurately. Why else would you depend on such a subpar method, rather than get current …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 04:54 AM
6

I understand analogies are not perfect, so why did you feel the need to come up with the alcoholism analogy when I had already provided the coffee analogy? I am not dismissing the importance people (mostly men) place on purity, the issue is that most of the time it’s being used to shame or blame or to make women feel like exploring sex is inherently wrong, while many of these men don’t apply the same standards to their own behavior. Unless you are also a ‘pure’ man who is practicing what he prea…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 01:24 AM
0

Your analogy only works if you equate consensual sex to alcoholism. I fail to see the connection between the two. Alcoholism is a major problem and destroys people mentally, emotionally, physically etc, both personally, professionally and relationally. This tells me that you consider consensual sex to be akin to a major life problem. If that’s the case then I refer back to my original point that it’s delusion and ego speaking.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 12:48 AM
3

Observation of who the person currently is will always give you more data than past information because current observation is irrefutable. You cannot personally observe the past, so you cannot confirm it to be true, any prediction you make is using outdated or irrelevant information. If I was a coffee drinker but I quit drinking coffee one year ago, buying me a coffee maker as a gift would be pointless. But according to your logic that would be the best gift to get me because I drank coffee in …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 12:31 AM
1

Yes, absolutely. That thinking indicates you don’t believe people can grow, change or be different. It indicates you don’t base your decisions on who the person is currently, which is an illogical way of making decisions. It also insinuates that the behavior you are describing (consensual sexual activity) is inherently wrong, which is not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 12:07 AM
8

Women value loyalty, we just don’t have enough ego or delusion to say that ‘purity’ is a proxy for loyalty.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 08:35 PM
1

I think that would make it way more likely, but it’s hard to to imagine how that would actually feel
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 02:29 AM
–

No, if there was no monogamy I would have a harem of different men lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 01:31 AM
13

Sorry, why are you expecting women to support men? Isn’t that other men’s job? Women support other women because we understand female dynamics. So men should be going to other men to get support not expecting women to pick up that slack.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 05:00 AM
9

I like seeing a man display gentleness. It’s where their true power lies.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 07:18 AM
2

Desire can be a one time thing. You may desire a man greatly in the beginning but how a man treats you will affect that desire. To say otherwise, is a recipe for treating women like crap. I don’t care how much I desire a man, if he doesn’t desire me equally, and thus treats me equally in the bedroom, my desire for him matters not. And I learned that because I experienced a man who I highly desired make sure I was taken care of totally in the bedroom because he also desired and valued me. It’s go…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 06:02 AM
1

Stop asking about a woman’s experience with other men? How does the topic of when a women slept with another man even come up? If a guy asked me that I would say none of your business. Comparison is the thief of joy.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/26 02:06 AM
–

It’s that, but also many factors. It’s the cost of living, it’s women making more money and having more freedom, it’s the rise of social media and its effects on people being less social, especially men regarding porn usage. It’s our society having better forms of birth control and knowing more about what it takes to raise kids, it’s more mental health awareness and not wanting to repeat the mistakes of our parents. It takes a lot to impinge upon the desire to procreate. I think the weight of al…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 04:41 PM
2

And my ending was a question asking what the motive was for slut-shamers to slut-shame. Shame is a tactic used to incite change, primarily by making the person feel…shame. Shame is an emotion. It’s not considered a pleasant or positive emotion. Most of us have experienced the feeling of shame, and if feels unpleasant, bad, uncomfortable etc. It’s like if you had a herd of sheep and you had to get the sheep into the pen at night and you had several options to do. You could use a herding dog, you …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 07:54 AM
2

Where did you get that idea? Everything we do stems from a purpose. Clearly people slut shame with purpose. The argument is that the purpose is entirely based on your own beliefs and preferences. The question is why do your beliefs and preferences give you the right to try and change someone else’s behavior and/or attempt to make them feel bad about their behavior? If you think spinach is gross, does that give you the right to tell me to stop eating it? Or make me feel bad for eating it?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 03:49 AM
2

After the proper adjustments, which changes your original statement. Do you agree to the adjustments? Nobody is absolutely correct about anything. Only siths think in absolutes.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 10:29 PM
2

If you said women love a man with limited social media (he doesn’t follow a bunch of half naked IG models, no female friends he is -attracted to- doesn’t party/go out non stop, has friends that are good men, and wants to hang out with the women he is in a relationship with because he likes being with her, then you would be correct.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 07:05 PM
6

You’re the one who thinks shame is okay, don’t put that on me and my hypothetical religion! There is no place for pressure/shame in the dating market. The dating market is created around personal preferences. As I indicated in the religious analogy, if someone shames or pressures you, you can just go find another person to be around who won’t do that. Shaming someone for your personal preferences is the height of insecurity and ego. Just go find someone who meets your preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 05:43 PM
4

I’m not religious, it’s just analogy. I’m against shaming people so I wouldn’t be doing that lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 04:45 PM
5

Exactly, you wouldn’t change. My religious standards mean nothing to you. There are plenty of other religions out there to choose from or you could choose no religion at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 04:28 PM
3

So if I shamed you for not believing in my religion, would that motivate you to convert?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 04:14 PM
2

Anyone that is trying to change someone else’s behavior has not learned a fundamental lesson about life. It’s a pointless exercise to try and get someone else to change. Add on top of that you are trying to get them to change for your own beliefs/preferences and it’s even less likely. Just because you notice someone (you mentioned women do this) else being illogical doesn’t mean you have to follow suit.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 04:11 PM
9

Slut shaming is wrong because it serves no purpose except to try and make someone feel bad about YOUR preferences/beliefs, which is illogical. It’s as if you went around trying to make people feel bad for eating spinach because you thought it was gross. When you go to the store, you buy the things you want. You don’t buy the things you don’t want. But you don’t go on a smear campaign for the products you don’t want, and try to convince others not to buy the product just because you don’t like th…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/25 07:14 AM
4

I agree with you. I think you should be able to clearly express what relationship orientation you want. In the same way that if you ask someone what their sexual orientation is, they should be able to clearly explain/label it and if they couldn’t, that would be strange. If someone cannot tell you what relationship orientation they are seeking that means they are either confused or dishonest and both those types aren’t good to partner with.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/12/25 06:12 PM
7

Sorry just because you can do something without emotion doesn’t mean you should. In fact, that’s probably an area where you should be extra careful to watch your behavior. It’s interesting that you would be willing to risk your entire relationship for something that means so little to you. Have you ever considered that women don’t cheat as much because they don’t have as many character issues?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 10:15 PM
6

Anyone who thinks having money or fame or a six pack makes you valuable in a relationship has a warped view of relationships imo. Relationships require relational skills so the more character qualities you have the higher value you are in regards to relationships. If people don’t want to apply character/morals etc to the moniker ‘high value’ then they shouldn’t use that term when speaking about trying to obtain women or relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 10:07 PM
5

Oh really, so is loyalty important to you in a partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 10:03 PM
7

Nobody is lying to women. Loyalty is a high value quality. Someone that isn’t loyal is of less value to most people that are seeking a relationship. Since you are free to have an open relationship or just date without a commitment, to actively choose to commit and then cheat is a character issue. People with character issues are always going to be less valuable than people who have good character. Whether YOU can cheat without emotions is irrelevant. If the person you are in a relationship with …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 09:59 PM
12

Cheating is a character issue. It involves lying, breaking vows and hurting your partner. Are you conceding that 95% of men have poor character? To me this would eliminate them from a ‘high value’ title.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/25 09:40 PM
1

Intuition is used to perceive danger and to ascertain who is trustworthy . However, we are also working with our past conditioning, family structure and dysfunctions. When you grow up in a family structure that has an unsafe dynamic your system rewires to associate a lack of safety as familiar. And we are attracted to what’s familiar. I think this is why we see people ‘ignoring’ their intuition. Because another part of them is saying ‘this person is familiar! Familiar is safe!’ Until the person …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 05:19 AM
0

Women that like being romantic are romantic. Men that like being romantic are romantic. These people should find each other. It’s only a problem when one of them isn’t romantic and the other is. As always, partner selection is everything, because when you keep selecting the same kinds of people then you begin to believe an entire gender operates either romantically or unromantically. Anyone outside the bias knows that’s inaccurate.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 10:48 PM
6

Everyone has someone bigger and stronger than them in the world and nobody likes the idea of someone being able to harm them. Why are you singling out women for the universal experience of living in an unpredictable world where things can happen? Women can carry guns or other protective equipment just as men can and do. Women know acutely how dangerous men can be, on a level you will probably never understand. Perhaps women accepted the conservative nature of the world a long time ago and we are…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 07:57 PM
1

Intuition or ‘reading vibes’ is on a continuum. There are people that are better at it than others. Hence why some people don’t get into abusive situations, or after being in one, never get into another one again because they have learned the signs and listen to their gut.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 03:32 AM
1

I think we are all entitled to hold what ever standard we want when it comes to relationships/who enters our body, but I don’t think we should advocate being delusional about it. Presumably there is a difference between a high standard and a delusional standard. What makes a standard delusional and why not just have the high standard and not the delusional one?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 08:48 PM
6

You have no idea who I am, where I’ve worked, whether I’m partnered or have kids, so I can only assume you are describing someone you know. It’s very specific. You won’t get very far when your strategy is telling people who they are and how they feel. Such lack of curiosity is hard to fathom.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 09:20 PM
-1

Aren’t your college years supposed to be filled with events and parties and activities, creating your friend circle and studying/finding your major? Why are you worried about finding a relationship and turning to porn in absence of it? No one should clown you but damn, get a mentor, older man, dad, uncle, teacher who can knock some sense into you! Your college years can be one of the best times of your life. But not if you’re focusing on the things you don’t have and wallowing in self pity aka p…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 07:30 AM
10

Yeah no. My grandmother had 10 kids and had a ‘breakdown’ after their last kid. She didn’t get her drivers license until she was 55 because she was stuck at home. Your story painstakingly tries to make modern women seem trapped, but we were handed down the stories of our grandmothers and mother’s lives. We were told by them to do things differently, either directly or indirectly. You can’t advocate for a 1950’s housewife’s life unless you truly know how it felt to be one. Women, yes modern women…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 06:22 AM
5

You gotta know when to hold em and when to fold em! Obviously if you are still staying in a relationship it is benefitting you in some way. If you are leaving a relationship it’s because the negatives outweigh the benefits. But it’s all a matter of perception. And who’s to say that perception is wrong?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 06:02 AM
1

No, I think that’s why we are seeing people decenter relationships and all the data is pointing to a higher amount of single people as time goes on. It doesn’t mean it has to stay that way but people would need to change and that might take time.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 08:58 PM
2

Compatibility comes from sharing core traits.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:49 PM
2

My original comment states the first step is to define your own core traits. Not to define what you want in a relationship or what makes a good relationship. If you define yourself as responsible that is a core trait.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:45 PM
2

Yes, but I’m talking about core character qualities. This is deeper than traits like high/low energy. These aren’t rules in stone, just a guide that I believe leads to higher quality relationships. I don’t think how the traits are expressed has to be mutual. For example let’s say you both share a core trait of responsibility. You are high energy, they are low energy BUT you both handle your responsibilities. Cool no problem because you’re both taking care of business.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 07:14 PM
1

Yes, I think all that what you’re saying is true. I think people can complement each other, but my thought is that complimenting each other comes from different expressions of the trait. In other words, you both may describe yourselves as kind, but each persons expressions of kindness can be different. One person cooks the meal and the other cleans up. Different expressions of the same trait are what make relationships interesting! But I think underneath it all, the most satisfying relationships…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 06:01 PM
1

This is not about preferences. You’re allowed to have any preferences you want. This is creating a list of your own character qualities as a guide.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 05:21 PM
1

Sure, but preferences is not the level I am referring to. I am talking about core character traits, things like honesty, loyalty, kindness, generosity, understanding, patience. The first step is to describe your core traits. If you want a loyal person, but you are not loyal yourself, you will not find a lasting satisfying relationship until you develop that quality. It’s unfair to ask for a loyal person if you aren’t loyal. And the loyal person will not be interested in a disloyal person anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 05:08 PM
2

I disagree. If you are honest, don’t you want an honest partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 04:59 PM
1

Sure but for how long if they aren’t receiving patience back? Imagine if every time you were patient with your partner they reciprocated with impatience, is that sustainable? If you have kids do you want an impatient partner to be treating the kids impatiently? And what gives the impatient person the right to ask for a patient partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 04:57 PM
4

To clarify, I’m referring to character qualities. Similar to your values. Im not referring to the more superficial traits people have. Wanting someone ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’ isn’t actually descriptive enough because everyone has a different definition of what they mean. For example, if you want a generous man, you must be a generous woman and vice versa. How you express generosity might look different, but you must share that trait to have reciprocity. If one person is stingy and one is gener…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 06:37 AM
4

Sure, but I was speaking about internal character qualities. It’s not about entitlement, it’s about reciprocity.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 06:32 AM
13

I think everyone should write a list of the qualities they possess and use it as a guide. You can’t ask for something you don’t possess: If you notice there are things you want in another person and you don’t possess those qualities, now you have a guide on where to start your self work. You should not be with someone who doesn’t possess the qualities on your list: If when you are getting to know someone, they don’t have something on your list it’s likely not a relationship that will satisfy you…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 01:22 AM
1

Of course I agree 100%, it’s always the individual’s choice at the end of the day!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 05:38 AM
5

It’s not always necessarily a man/woman thing though. There are people who have crazy standards. Have you ever seen shows where people go to matchmakers and they have a million requirements on their list? And the matchmaker is like there is no way you’re getting all that in one person. Not saying they should settle or be unhappy but some people do have unrealistic expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 05:27 AM
37

I think there are usually two different types. The first type is telling her to lower her standards for selfish reasons because they want more options or they perceive her to not be good enough to hold a standard that keeps them out. The other type is someone who genuinely believes that if she adjusted some of her more superficial standards she could find a man she could be happy with. But yeah if a woman isn’t complaining and is fine being alone, it doesn’t make a difference and no one should c…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 01:00 AM
1

There’s nothing wrong with becoming a good lover as long as you don’t use other people along the way. The problem is that some guys will take this advice as the end justifies the means and lie or manipulate women into having sex or sleep with any many people as possible. Sexual skill can be acquired with one partner through curiosity and practice. Additionally there are plenty of men who have slept with lots of women and still aren’t good at it, so if you’re going to prescribe sexual mastery to …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 05:10 PM
1

‘Women are happier single compared to men’ and ‘why do all these men seethe while women seem to be doing just fine’ are two different framings, so which one are you referring to? I’ve never heard the second one used before. Regarding the first framing, I believe it’s pulled from a study that said that statistically, single women and married men are happiest, while married women and single men are less happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 06:29 PM
–

I’ve never expected anyone to protect me, other than my parents when I was a kid. People who risk their lives for others are called heroes, and no one expects hero behavior, that’s why it’s celebrated when it happens. Most of the time when I hear “provider” or “protector,” it’s from men online describing themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 09:48 AM
0

If a woman truly needs a rich man I doubt she would have a dating profile/be on an app. She would probably be running in different circles. Most men aren’t rich, and they certainly aren’t rich on the apps. I think if someone is saying they want someone ambitious on an app, you should take it at face value. The definition of ambitious is ‘having or showing a strong desire and determination to succeed’ which is a character quality and it doesn’t just apply to the financial realm. Remember, most wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 09:32 AM
3

I really don’t understand your point. I can’t relate to wanting a dangerous man. intelligent mature women have no interest in dangerous people, so you are wrong out of the gate. My ex husband was 5’9 so you are also wrong about the height issue. I’m sure most men would chose a rich, kind supermodel who cooks over an average woman if they could. Are you trying to argue that more attractive people get more attention? You describe the average man as timid and boring. Personally definitely factors i…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 02:16 AM
7

First it was a hot dangerous guy now it’s a tall confident man who texts back. Who is really attempting to change reality?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 09:20 PM
7

So you are every-woman’s spokesperson on who we find attractive? Crazy I didn’t know we had hired. Even still, extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence which you have not provided.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 07:47 PM
0

Where is the evidence to support your claim?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 07:25 PM
3

Right but when you keep experiencing the same type of person, you are the common denominator.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 07:19 PM
30

You do know there are billions of different types of women in the world, right? For those women out enjoying their spring break, there’s others at home reading or knitting. We all have different views on sex and who we find attractive or average. So all of those things you mentioned can be true at once or not at all because we each determine our own beliefs and how we practice our sexuality. I still don’t get why people generalize entire genders so willingly, most of the problem occurs in the ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 12:18 PM
1

Sure, that dynamic does exists. But it’s a still a chosen dynamic, and everyone is accountable for the dynamics they choose. The ‘mediocre’ person is being chosen by the non-mediocre person. Why? Are they codependent? Afraid to rock the boat? Biding their time? Those beliefs actively contribute to the dynamic because choosing to put up with the more selfish person isn’t a requirement. If you gave your child candy every night and then one night you didn’t have candy and your child threw a fit, di…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 06:58 AM
1

Men and women are different. I don’t see the point in comparing dating experiences between genders because of the biological, hormonal and social differences in experiences we have, this will likely always result in things being tilted. What would you say if a woman was posting about how men are stronger and can lift heavier weights and all the ways in which it’s harder for her to lift heavy weights? Like okay, but that’s the way it is and men will likely always have a strength advantage on the …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 02:16 AM
3

Sure, you are speaking about the universal challenge of selecting the right partner. Women have this exact same challenge with men; who is a reasonable human and who is going to exploit or abuse us later on. My point is that if you didn’t choose an abusive, narcissistic or toxic person, (most people aren’t abusive narcissists) then if someone is upset or emotional in the relationship it’s likely the result of your combined relationship dynamic. It’s an over simplification to say she didn’t get f…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 01:30 AM
5

It sounds like you guys weren’t the right people for each other. The way that she needed to feel loved wasn’t the way you naturally wanted to give love so you performed but it wasn’t natural. That will get tiresome. Picking a compatible partner is vital and will alleviate having to perform. And what I meant was that if you are in a relationship, your problems are your partners problems and vice versa. If your partner is upset with you, it’s not just their problems, it’s yours too. If you are onl…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 12:57 AM
14

I think you are oversimplifying to make your point. Is it actually ‘no flowers’ on a random Tuesday or is it that you do not remember birthdays, anniversary or special occasions? Is she upset because you didn’t do one chore, or do you have a habit of doing less than your share or need to be told to do your basic human responsibilities? Is she really upset because you ‘are relaxing’ or is it because it feels like you are strangers in the same house? Love is a verb, it has to be shown in order to …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 12:46 AM
5

I can’t relate to what you just said. Granted I don’t date women, but that’s not how I operate in any way shape or form or how I see women around me operate.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 04:27 PM
1

The problem is the generalization of the problem. When you generalize you cannot validate individual experiences or experiences that deviate from your bias. You don’t think there are shitty men out there that don’t have any emotional bandwidth? You don’t think those men are what that group of women are experiencing and speaking about regarding emotional labor? You don’t think there are women who are decent humans, really?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/25 05:52 AM
14

I still dont understand the logic behind thinking a woman is being dishonest about her attraction to a man she wouldn’t have casual sex with but wants a relationship with. A relationship is like the full meal and since other qualities besides attraction matter in a relationship, attraction will always be in relation to other qualities in the way that a full meal contains different components. For a casual sexual encounter there is no meal, it’s dessert only. Maybe the whole reason she doesn’t wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 05:35 AM
20

I fail to see how you came to that conclusion rationally. When I go to the market I buy the product that I prefer. I don’t buy the product I don’t prefer. It doesn’t give the company whose product I don’t buy the right to lie or deceive me in order to sell their product.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 05:03 AM
15

Who said women HAVE to have sex with more attractive men? The reality is if you want casual sex as woman you have a plethora of options so why not go for the man you are most attracted to?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 04:45 AM
2

We have the ‘Are you Dating Him too’ facebook groups for a reason. You assume lots of attention is positive and I think that’s a projection, perhaps attention is what you want personally? Not everyone values quantity. Men flock to apps for the same reason they flock to clubs, for the potential to hook up. There’s also a statistic out there that says something like 20-30% of men in apps are married or in relationships already. If there was a guaranteed filter on apps that banned non-single men an…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/25 08:48 AM
2

It’s the lesser of two evils sometimes. Being told we should get married and have kids, as they did with past generations, did not produce any better results or we wouldn’t be where we are. If you marry the wrong person it has a negative ripple effect on you, the person you married and your kids. Why do you think there are so many dysfunctional people? It’s not because they were told to be single, go to therapy and learn to love themselves first. It’s because they came from a home where the pare…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 01:40 AM
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