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NorthernFacing Archive

View 0 posts and 115 comments by NorthernFacing on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

OYS 61 Early 40s/Divorcing/Children 6' 190lbs; Squat 360; bench 245; OHP 130 Items from This Week - I read another guy's OYS last week that had just a couple of areas that he was focusing on. I took a cue from this and just focused on fitness and writing this week. I largely ignored portions of my main job after setting some things up to run on auto-pilot. I was available and present for the parts that needed my direct participation. Otherwise, it was like nothing changed. Everything went fine. …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/23 02:23 PM
1

Appreciate the advice.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/23 09:33 PM
1

Thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/23 09:32 PM
2

Correct. I meant it as a reference to NMMG, but it’s still a thought I notice from time to time.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/23 08:11 PM
3

OP - I don’t think this comment can be driven home enough. From my personal experience, validation and fear were absolutely what was (and in other areas still are) holding me back. I had to dig in on what my deal was. Quitting porn, listening to my desires, etc were not working. I thought the validation article, etc were not correct. Turns out I just needed to sub some things out. I had over fifteen years of sex being the carrot of a cycle of being unattractive, whining, and chipping away until …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/23 07:26 PM
7

OYS 60 Early 40s/Divorcing/Children 6' 188lbs; Squat 360; bench 245; OHP 130 Items from This Week I planned out some one on one time with each of my children this weekend. Took one to a movie, played a board game with another, etc. I enjoyed playing and working with them. I've mentioned my oldest son before. There's quite a bit of aggression building up in him. I took the time this weekend to clear out the garage a little bit more so the squat rack is easier to access. Hung a boxing bag, set his…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/23 01:41 PM
2

It’s not a concern for me right now. Iron Rule 7 proved especially true for me. I don’t find myself thinking or being concerned about this area, yet it’s never been better/more consistent.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/23 07:32 PM
2

See below. The point is valid, but I also have some finish line syndrome that I needed to bust through. Once I finish a project, I no longer feel “useful.” Rather than finish the project, take a break, and then start something new, it’s “easier” to look at a complete life revamp and let the other project sit for a bit until I make the realization and come back to it. In the past this has taken a month or two. This time it was much quicker.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/23 02:00 PM
2

I have about four or five things in my life that I went all in on. I don’t think I’m in a position where I’m chasing some high of lofty goals; rather, I noticed myself approaching some projects, goals, and even mundane tasks at about 90% and then settling, moving on, or even using surrounding people as a gauge for success. It’s tough to put my finger on, but there is some discontent happening and I’m working to at least refresh in order to 1. Not lose the work I’ve done and 2. Continue working t…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/12/23 01:57 PM
2

Thanks. Agreed. The problem I have is recognizing these situations when they come up; they are of course clear in hindsight. The one thing I’ve learned is that in this process, it is exactly that: a process that takes time. Since nothing moves quickly with this, I’m often able to take any bullets away by not responding, taking time, etc.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/12/23 06:26 PM
2

Planning to fail: I think this was a poor word choice trying to convey outcome independence, yet it’s probably also tied to some underlying fears that run contrary. I think yes, my son can certainly mirror me, which makes me wonder if the actions I present actually line up with my intentions. I certainly agree on having kids work their own things out. This seemed to be a situation that was a little more amped up than normal. Thanks for the feedback on not neutralizing or discouraging certain emo…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/12/23 06:24 PM
6

OYS 59 Early 40s/Divorcing/Children 6' 186lbs; Squat 360; bench 245; OHP 130 There are many indicators that I am in an anger stage/feedback loop related to the divorce since last week. I got myself to a better place of not responding to other people's bullshit, but, in a true test to see if I actually have boundaries and self-control, these people adapted as well and started going even harder to create lose-lose situations. The majority of these are related to parenting time and child custody. I…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/12/23 02:04 PM
1

Depending on your situation, I wouldn’t let on to the other side about anything that you want, including and especially a speedy settlement. Also - if anything starts to go south, put all of your communication in writing, and run it through something like ChatGPT with prompts for BIFF (look this up to keep yourself in check). Hopefully it doesn’t get to that point, but preparing for the worst will help you keep a more level head.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/23 09:05 PM
2

I have a girlfriend. Everything is fine there. I thought for a while I was being protective of myself by trying not to make it a big deal. But I’m glad to be in a place where I’m not dependent on someone else. Yes, I absolutely followed the pattern of getting in a relationship with the first girl post-separation/divorce.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/23 06:43 PM
3

Textbook case of me not thinking it could ever get as bad as the horror stories I heard. I didn’t want to be aggressive at first - I had a fantasy in my head that my STBX and I would work things out together. I also thought she would accept my settlement, which was best offer. I did not anticipate, foolishly, that signs I saw before were mental health issues. This combined with pushing a court system to the limit has made for a long ride. I drew a card where I was trying to divorce someone who i…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/23 06:41 PM
4

OYS 58 Early 40s/Divorcing/Children 6' 189lbs; Squat 360; bench 245; OHP 130 Last time I posted, my divorce was in its "final stage." That was either not seeing what was really there or being in denial of how difficult of a challenge this would be. There is now an official end date which will be nearly two years since the process started. I was warned. That being said, I became much stronger and resilient in many areas of my life due to this process. Although it continues to be a challenge, I am…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/23 01:22 PM
1

It’s been over a year. I’ve stayed with my girlfriend quite a bit, but didn’t have any overnights on the days that I have my kids. Yes, monogamous and the only one I’ve been with. I did underestimate the amount of fat to lose. 180 is where I feel best.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/23 06:46 PM
1

OYS 57 Late 30s/Divorcing/Cohabiting/Children 6' 203lbs; Squat 360; bench 245; OHP 130 Actions - I kept my workouts up, but I continued to not take my diet seriously and gained fat. I was 209 a month ago and worked to bring this number down a little bit. - I started a third reading of NMMG. I'm doing the Breaking Free exercises again; once I'm complete with one writing prompt, I compare it to the previous writings I did one and two years ago. Some of the themes are common across all three years,…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/04/23 12:39 PM
1

I appreciate the time you spent on this. All valid points. For what it’s worth, after writing this, I had some significant movement happen that I pushed for with the divorce. Yet, I have to realize that the good feelingz from that movement will pass as well. The two or three days are just days that I blame other situations for standing in the way of my freedom. They are also the days I tend to think more outward in terms of other people as opposed to acting on what I can control. I do need to re…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/11/22 06:24 PM
2

Thank you. A lot of my life is getting 80-95% of the way, and then moving on. Another instance of potentially needing to go all in.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/10/22 10:52 PM
1

It wouldn’t be the worst thing. It would be back to OYS 1 to whenever I finally took some ownership. I’m still answering what I want. I have what I wanted before, and now I’m not sure if I’m satisfied with it.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/10/22 10:51 PM
1

Thanks. Not much alcohol here, but I did start to slip back into pork a bit (two times a week over the past few weeks). I felt like I was starting to become unraveled.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/10/22 10:50 PM
1

Thanks. I was seeing a counselor for a bit but actually stopped. I’ll look at some other options for how I spend my time outside of work.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/10/22 10:49 PM
1

Mission is locked down. As imagined, when I spend time in it, things are fine and manageable. I think it’s more than just wanting the divorce to be over or thinking that all of my problems will be solved with the divorce. As I thought of this more, I was more upset that I just simply wasn’t getting my way in some areas. I’m mad that someone is fighting back, and that there’s an actual challenge going on for me. I’m not being held back much by the divorce not being finalized. The goal of it was s…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/10/22 10:48 PM
1

OYS 56 Late 30s/Divorcing/Children 6' 202lbs; 17% bodyfat; Squat 355; bench 245; OHP 130 Divorce: Delays after delays after delays on the other side. It’s been six months since I filed. Pretrial was supposed to happen and then our judge was out. His call is now backed up. Our next move is substituting the juror. We’re filing multiple motions next week to push forward. I’m told that most divorces in my state take one to two years. Still, the lack of movement is wearing on me significantly. On som…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/22 06:02 PM
2

My lifting schedule remains six days a week, and I’ve continued the stretching program I started a few weeks ago. The stretching was especially making me sore. I didn’t add the additional shoulder exercises. I did not mention the lifting or stretching since those weren’t necessarily new actions.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/09/22 12:08 PM
2

I got cocky. I thought being more attractive and having new challenges and experiences meant that the practices changed or that I was above them.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/09/22 11:42 PM
3

OYS 55 Late 30s/Divorcing/Children 6' 197lbs; 16% bodyfat; Squat 355; bench 245; OHP 130 Actions Continued a higher fat diet. Included more foods that have less ingredients. Energy is great. Per a suggestion last week, I swapped out my vitamin D supplements for natural supplements. 20 minute walks outside every day. This also has helped with extra energy. Per another suggestion last week, I started Amino-X for BCAA after workouts and stretching. I haven't noticed a huge difference yet, but it's …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/09/22 05:51 PM
2

Thanks - appreciate the info, and ordering it. I’ve been focused on dialing in my diet and supplements lately after some rough patches, and, shocker, things are better overall.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/09/22 02:35 PM
1

Thanks. I will try this with the other suggestions.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/22 06:20 AM
1

Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/22 12:46 AM
1

Thanks. I’ll add these in with some Arnold presses.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/22 12:45 AM
1

Test is 689.1 ng/Dl when I had it tested in April. I also have done a vitamin D supplement for about two years. I will check on the B12. Edit: I do 12 mcg of B12 a day.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/22 10:23 PM
6

OYS 54 Late 30s/Divorcing/Children 6' 199lbs; 17% bodyfat; Squat 355; bench 245; OHP 130 Actions Increased the fat in my diet significantly. Dropped some weight, gained some focus, lost irritability, and increased most lifts a little more. Overhead press is still maxing out at 130, so I'm alternating with some machine work in order to push to failure more. I planned out the time I have with my kids and had a much more fulfilling weekend and visits. I was giving time to my children, time to my ca…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/09/22 03:01 PM
2

Thanks for asking. I’m actually cutting more and more off my plate each week and replacing the time with travel/relaxation and a couple of passion projects. Living it now. Never was an excuse to be “tied down,” but I have a lot of free time right now. I’m working on killing the plow horse mentality I’ve had forever. I’ve just had to go cold turkey and quit side jobs and obligations that I no longer “needed” to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/22 05:54 PM
14

OYS 53 Late 30s/Divorcing/Multiple Children 6’; 205lbs; 17% bodyfat Squat: 350; bench: 240; OHP: 130 Actions *I’ve been bitching for months that I work too much and was resisting throwing the plow horse in me away. I quit one freelance position yesterday, and another freelance position today. I opened up five hours a week and four holidays a year with a reduction of about 8K in income that wasn’t needed right now. *Soon to be Ex and I had a “final” meeting with our lawyers in an effort to not go…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/09/22 01:15 PM
6

Develop a neckbeard to be doubly manly. Got it.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/08/22 03:30 PM
6

How important is it for you to be divorced? Are you in mental and preparation shape regarding the divorce to only pay attention to it once a week until it’s done? I had to ask myself what I was afraid of in regards to big divorce actions. A lot of it was just fear of rocking the boat or wanting to be the nice guy because “we can’t effectively co-parent if we don’t get along.” Once I got verbally slapped by IZ, Horns, and a boatload of other people, I called my lawyer to ask what I could do to mo…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/08/22 02:27 PM
1

Working on it.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/22 01:56 PM
1

Work has been interesting. I cared less, did less work, and made more money. I have no problem relaxing at work, and I work best when I do a burst of focused hard work for about three hours straight. After reading this, I started removing the phone from my proximity. It helped last night with getting more connected to the moment.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/22 01:55 PM
1

I do think it’s a little bit of the plow horse mentality on autopilot, yet, I do enjoy working, fixing my car, etc. I do think it’s being run down from stress and work in some sense (there’s no possible way I could be boring, right?). I get invites from friends and families but often turn them down lately. When I do accept and go out, I never regret it.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/22 01:52 PM
3

OYS 52 Late 30s/Divorcing/Multiple Children 6’; 200lbs; 16% bodyfat Squat: 340; bench: 235; OHP: 130 I went off the wagon with food and exercise for a bit. My six day a week workout routine dropped to three days a week. I didn't make a clear plan with having my kids over at my place about half of the time, working, divorcing, and getting distracted with maintaining a girlfriend. Over the past week, I sat down with the calendar and did a soft reset on priorities, time, and engagements. I got back…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/22 11:36 PM
5

In regards to the divorce, what is actually making it move forward right now? Have you filed paperwork with your state? One of my early mistakes was not filing early enough - I waited over a month while we “tried to come to an agreement.” Once I actually filed, it started moving forward with status meetings, etc. If you think you and your wife can actually work through this and you just haven’t prioritized it, then my comment is probably useless to you. Similar with financials. A divorce lawyer …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/08/22 11:40 AM
4

my focus is keeping it peaceful and out of court. So you’re expecting to have this be smooth and free of conflict? That sounds Nice… I’m not saying go scorched earth. I’m one guy sharing his experience so your experience may vary. My experience was very much the nicer I acted, the more delusional my wife became. My suggestion is to follow the sidebar advice (that apparently few people, including myself, have followed) on divorce. u/HornsofApathy laid two things out for me that were beneficial bu…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/07/22 11:25 AM
4

Your state/location may vary, but judges in my area can rule based on what happens during the separation/pre-divorce. I did the couch surfing, etc. I was fine with it, but it was an excuse for all of the marital money to be spent “on the kids.” Once I moved out and started paying rent and living expenses, I got called every name in the book, but it then became clear that the status quo was no longer possible and that anything that might have gone contested had to consider living expenses for two…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/07/22 02:10 AM
1

Thanks. Hate flows up - trying to internalize that.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/22 04:22 PM
5

Damn. This is making me realize how much I was trying to play mom, dad, educator, etc. in an effort to inflate my importance as a parent.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/22 03:26 PM
5

Glad to hear. I don’t know if it helps in your situation, but in mine, once I let off the gas with the new girl, she double, tripled, and quadrupled down on trying to qualify to me. For example: I mentioned one day that I was going to pay for a security deposit on a place, and the next day she handed me a cashier’s check for the full amount with paperwork that said it was a gift. I had to have a very serious and careful sit down with her on expectations, etc. In regards to getting to a better pl…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/22 03:19 PM
6

OYS 51 Late 30s/Divorcing/Multiple Children; 6'; 195lbs; 15% BF Bench: 245x1; Squat: 350x2; OHP: 140x1 Several changes since the last time I posted. I'm going to be a bit guarded/cryptic until things are finalized in a month. My living situation was all over the place. Soon to be ex and I were trading the air mattress and bed every other night; some nights, I was staying with a friend, and other nights staying with a girl. I was resisting my attorney's advice on finding my own place. I thought i…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/07/22 01:52 PM
5

I don’t know your situation. All I know is that I never thought that certain things would ever happen to me (they did). I also never thought that someone else would stoop so low (they did). I’m in a no fault state. I was able to calculate my worst case scenario. Since I had so many missteps on the way, it still is ending up costing us more money to come out to the same scenario. And then, because I allowed myself to become so distracted/intoxicated with a new girl, depressed about my situation, …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/07/22 04:59 PM
7

I’m still here. Things are much better but busier than ever. I’ll update soon. Mistakes were definitely made but this place slapped me into reality. But yes, take what I’ve written in the past seriously. The road could have been much easier for me. Once I have some time, I’ll have some info that would be potentially helpful for guys in a situation somewhat similar to mine. I will say that if you see someone else working against their best interests, let them, as it could pay dividends.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/07/22 03:40 PM
1

Thanks for the response. Where I am at now is that my wife has agreed to mediation and we are scheduled for this week. My lawyer believes she will still fight a reasonable deal and that this will not work in her favor if it goes contested. With closer looks at the response her lawyer has sent, they have incorrectly listed my income as 10K higher than it actually is, plus some other items that would end up lessening this worst case scenario. That being said, I have fear of showing cards too early…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/22 04:06 PM
1

Thanks. I have to think on that. We do have 140K in equity in the house that is currently agreed upon to be split 50/50 (her buying me out). Savings has been burned up by her, so there’s only about 7K left. I can certainly offer up more (or all) equity in the home with a narration of this allowing her to “stay home” while still allowing me access to the kids in an equal setting. She is absolutely scared of taking on the house debt forever (although I have reason to believe her parents are just g…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/22 03:02 AM
1

Update: spoke with my lawyer for about an hour. More came out in the settlement: wife wants me to take on two life insurance policies in her name in order to secure her ten year maintenance. Numbers don't come out to having enough money to go around. A whole lot of other absurd items. Lawyers comments were that the response to the settlement we sent was simply offensive and wouldn't hold up. They also wanted to include a debit of all of my lawyer fees and any amount of money I paid towards share…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/22 07:44 PM
1

I certainly am. If we're talking carrot as a reward, I am unable to find much beyond the typical things: money/security. In this particular instance, I am wanting equal shared parenting time and a reasonable monthly maintenance/child support obligation. She wants to not work, wants more money per month, guarantee that her maintenance does not end early (she wants two life insurance policies with her as the beneficiary), and she wants to be seen a stay-at-home mom martyr. So, unless my head is co…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/22 07:32 PM
1

That’s the plan presented by their mother. I’m not settling for that.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/22 04:19 AM
1

OYS 50 Late 30s/Divorcing/Multiple Children; 6'; 197lbs; 16% BF Bench: 235; Squat: 340; OHP: 130 Link to Last Week's OYS Divorce I had a number of helpful comments from last week in regards to not being a moron/nice guy when it comes to this divorce. Some updates: After some DM's with u/HornsOfApathy a couple of weeks ago, I went back through some of priorities/wants. I am pursuing more time with my children in the divorce because accepting the proposed settlement will not allow me even basic ti…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/22 01:50 AM
1

I took your advice from my last OYS where you suggested pushing 50/50. As written above, I was trying to be nice about it. Wife is not for 50/50, and instead offered “a few more overnights.” Her lawyer has still not responded to my lawyer. So, I spoke to my lawyer again and also got four more consults. Turns out we don’t really have to push 50/50; rather, we’re filing a motion for temporary parental responsibilities. I completed the custody plan and submitted, and then she’ll get served with it.…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/22 10:08 PM
1

Thanks for the info. I have a consult today with another lawyer, but my current lawyer suggested to file a motion for temporary parenting time in order to seek 50/50 custody. It’s not guaranteed, but in my state a lot of the temporary items do become permanent. I did start draining one of our accounts to pay off a student loan. Wife does not want to pay half of the student loan debt, despite it playing into her maintenance. Furthermore, she wanted to split our savings account without signing any…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/22 12:32 PM
1

Ok. Are you referring to pressure points? I have a lot of difficulty finding them with her beyond the money. Lack of money for her creates an issue where she has to move back to where she came from. She does not want that. Other obvious pressure points would be children. Her having less access to the children is a smaller payout for her, and thus, goes back to point one. Her reputation as a mother may hold some stock, but not as much as the finances. I have to think on this today.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/22 06:02 PM
1

Thanks. Yes - correct. I was resisting putting my own interests at the forefront for a long time. I have this assumption that a court is just going to give a single mom of multiple children whatever she wants. I have to get passed this quick and put things in motion.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/22 05:41 PM
1

Thanks. I have three additional consults scheduled and I’ve sent a message to my lawyer to speak to him about the contested process. Having my kids for 180 overnights brings the calculated bill of maintenance and child support down to $2500 a month (2182 paid in maintenance, the rest child support). Her pressure points are money. She does not want to work, and wants the highest monthly payout possible.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/05/22 05:39 PM
2

OYS 49 Late 30s/Divorcing/Multiple Children; 6'; 197lbs; 16% BFBench: 235; Squat: 340; OHP: 130 ​ Divorce, still continued I'm writing from one of the angriest spaces I've been in in a very long time. The last time I was this frustrated, I typed "why won't my wife have sex with me" into Google, and then I changed the majority of my life for the better. ​ I initiated this divorce on February 10, and in the effort to go uncontested I fucked up by not going hard enough and letting the otherwise tak…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/22 10:43 PM
1

My state does maintenance by the month and that and child support are calculated by strict formulas. Married close to 16 years. She has not worked for the past 7 years. I also have a lot of children, and our custody plan involves me having them every other weekend during the school year and 50/50 for holidays and summers. I’m receiving 50% of the home equity which is roughly 77K and all assets are split 50/50. I called several lawyers and based on this plan, those are the consistent numbers and …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/22 04:02 PM
1

Yes, please.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/22 02:03 PM
1

OYS 48 Late 30s/Divorcing/Multiple Children 6’; 191lbs; 15% bodyfat Squat: 320; bench: 225; OHP: 120 Divorce Hung up on the other side buying time. I’m going in and out of frustration on this, but have a process that's keeping me somewhat out of trouble. It’s basically STFU at home, get pissed off, call my lawyer and vomit out whatever bullshit I’m thinking, and then take his advice. My lawyer is being responsive, but understanding that I'm a man in a process that will be having me pay. Her lawy…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/05/22 02:02 PM
1

10mg of cialis a few hours before usually works for me. And then I had some avocados and it fucked it all up one night. The warning say that high fat could slow the effects. This was certainly the issue for me.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/22 01:53 PM
1

Just one. As I’m still not finalized (waiting for the court date), I’m wondering if that’s something subconsciously hanging over me. Getting myself stuck in an in-between. It’s a combination of not getting it up, but more so, just having no sexual desire. Diet and exercise are on point. I’m going several weeks with no desire/libido for anyone. I only think about sex in terms of wondering why I don’t want it right now. It’s fun in the moment but it’s an event to make it happen.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/22 01:51 PM
1

OYS 47 Late 30s/Divorcing/Multiple Children 6’; 191lbs; 15% bodyfat Squat: 320; bench: 225; OHP: 120 Divorce Getting close to finalized. Lawyers talking. I’ll drop some notes in the future for anyone going through this once it’s dropped. My biggest mistakes were just not moving quick enough. STFU was a significant issue for me at the beginning. I finally realized if I was hiring a lawyer to let them do the work. I’ve always been a DIY’er, but it was foolish for me to not trust the experts in thi…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 04:03 PM
1

I appreciate the advice and will take it seriously.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/22 04:01 PM
1

I answered you in another area, but to expand more, yes I’m attracted, but I really have to be careful in the validation area. My STBX knew me through good and bad times. New girl only knows me now, and this is a case of us being in a related field, me being at the top, and her wanting to be with a winner. So there are absolutely validation things being thrown my way left and right. I really have to be on my toes in this area to make sure I don’t slack for the benefit of myself. I did have a wee…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/22 03:27 PM
1

I left that out on accident. Just one.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/22 03:24 PM
1

Are you sure this isn't a trap to allow your oneitis to flourish? So I looked at this as her potentially trapping me, yet, you’re reading that either I’m potentially allowing myself to get trapped or that I’m trapping myself in the Oneitis box. That’s interesting. I really have to look into myself with that, and I don’t doubt what you are saying. So it's easy then? Do you find yourself wildly attracted to her or, instead, does she just make things easy for you? I am very attracted to her, but I …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/22 03:23 PM
1

Mainly time and priorities. Current girl is doing a lot of work and offering up a lot to be a part of my available time for her. I don’t really have to do anything except show up. It’s also a lower priority in relation to other items. School is ending for my kids soon, and as things either the divorce get finalized, along with career continuing to pick up more and more, I’m not currently interested in taking on more. This could definitely change in the summer.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/22 02:51 PM
1

What is your Mission and how does a bitch/several bitches contribute to it. How many bitches have you fucked post-divorce? Private for OPSEC, but u/ragnar_Daneskjold can potentially vouch that my mission is locked down based on a conversation we had either this account or my old one. The girl I’m seeing now is in a similar field to me and has been helpful and supportive from a mission standpoint. I have many parts of the mission that can be taken on by others without them screwing it up, sabotag…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/22 02:21 PM
2

OYS 46 Late 30s/Divorcing/Multiple Children 6’; 192lbs; 15% bodyfat Squat: 320; bench: 225; OHP: 120 I’ve spent several weeks away from writing about owning my shit and going out and just doing more. I took some vacation time and traveled with a camping stove, tent, a cooler full of food, and a sleeping bag. Traveled south and stayed alone for a few days. Stayed in some campsites, explored a cave, climbed some rocks, hiked for hours, saw some animals. I was never a nature guy until a year or two…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/22 11:02 PM
1

I had a mindset that first (almost) post-marriage girl was far more important than she actual was. I started giving more attention that I was comfortable with long term because the short term validation hits felt really good after the marriage situation I got myself into. It started to wear off a bit, and I recognized that although I enjoy the attention and intimacy, it cannot provide as much value alone as the other work that I do and the way that I spend my time. I was out of balance (and mayb…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/22 08:59 PM
1

I will have to look into my writing lately on this. I am suspecting that I’m moving to an area of settling as opposed to continually pushing forward and challenging myself. Yes, I am in a generally good place for myself, but in comparison to how much I sucked before, that’s not an accomplishment. I am concerned regarding the Cialis. I experimented more with diet and sleep, and I do get horny, but I’m wondering if I have gone into a stage of sex for self-validation or something. It has started to…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/03/22 08:44 PM
1

Divorce is the main focus right now. You sure about that? Yes. I’ve always been a planner in regards to the “worst case scenario.” So my time planning for this divorce has involved what I’ve wanted, what I’m getting counseled on by my lawyer, and some additional help from some DM’s with u/ImpatientZen on some potential pitfalls (such as, what will I do if my soon to be ex-wife mismanages the funds and the kids aren’t provided for). Paperwork is filed. Parenting class is done. Finances are in ord…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/22 01:46 PM
2

OYS 45 Late thirties, divorcing, 6'0", 190lbs, BF 16%. Squat 325x1; Press 125x1; Deadlift 320x2; Bench 220x1; Sidebar x2 My success, well-being, productivity and happiness is tied to food. Seriously. I was in a bit of a funk, and the first thing to go was an optimal nutrition plan. One day back of this and my overall mood did a 180. I’ve experimented over the past year and a half with food, and the best diet for me has plenty of fat in it. Low fat diets have an effect on my mood and drive in nea…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/03/22 11:47 AM
2

Week days: 3 with mom, 2 with me. Weekends: every other. Split holidays. My schedule is all over the place but flexible. She is not crazy about this right now because she does not want to work at all.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/03/22 10:24 PM
1

OYS 44 Late thirties, divorcing, 6'0", 190lbs, BF 16%. Squat 325x1; Press 125x1; Deadlift 320x2; Bench 220x1; Sidebar x2 Time with other girl. Very different for me. She is financially stable. I made it clear that when we go out we’d be splitting tabs. This has already been more financially sustainable than any previous engagement with women. I took her out Friday night for dinner and drinks. She wanted to have sex, so she paid for a hotel room for us. I’m enjoying the treatment. We had sex and …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/03/22 06:33 PM
1

Thanks - I will read through this. To be honest, I don’t see myself spinning multiple plates. I have my time in place where I want it right now. That being said, I always have options.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/22 02:12 PM
2

I haven’t thought about goals in my life involving women. Rather, I’ve thought about it more in what I won’t do. I’m not marrying/getting the state involved with my relationships anymore. I’m not raising anyone else’s kids. Will I live with someone else I’m involved with? Maybe eventually, but right now I am not putting that on the table for at least a year. The idea of having a “home base” where only I have the key is very enticing right now. I’ve mentioned in the past about my mission being lo…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/22 12:48 PM
3

OYS 43 Late thirties, 6'0", 192lbs, BF 16%. Squat 325x1; Press 125x1; Deadlift 320x2; Bench 220x1; Sidebar x2 Weeks are flying by. Divorce is all on me because I’m being milked for money and resources. I have to treat it as a business transaction more. I had pity for my wife and that is not good for me in this process. I had some DM's with u/ImpatientZen who has been very blunt and helpful with me. I initiated more talks with my lawyer about what is best for me, and we are working on the paperwo…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/03/22 12:13 AM
6

You made my afternoon. I will also buy a chair to watch OP’s wife.
/r/askMRP28/02/22 09:00 PM
1

Thanks for the write up on this. I may DM you on some additional information if you’re willing to entertain it. In the talks with my lawyer, child support is non-negotiable in my jurisdiction and completely decided by the judge/court. After my initial consult nearly eight months ago, it was suggested to encourage her to work for the exact reason you mentioned above. I didn’t want a divorce at that point, but did think about this. I had her start to do some freelance/contract work and build up he…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/22 02:40 PM
1

I appreciate the advice. I am currently working through identifying whether certain thoughts and ideas I have are residual nice guy behaviors or if they are legitimately what I want for myself and for the kids. Every month that I wait will add a month to potential maintenance, so I am definitely on a timer in some sense (while still being cautious and thorough).
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/22 07:56 PM
2

Iron Rules of Tomassi.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/22 09:55 PM
2

I’m seeing that now in some discussions. My worst case scenario is maintenance plus child support, along with a “fair” division of property that leaves me with less. Based on the calculator and the lawyer, maintenance would last a maximum of eight years and child support would be sixteen years, with this reducing the first time in six years. Working, safety, and security is the only thing I see her get emotional about. I’ll get through it, but I will have a challenge. Every day does her easier i…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/22 09:07 PM
2

If I were to go back to myself when I first started owning my shit on this forum, posting things like you’re saying, I would tell myself that I couldn’t trust a goddamn word or thought of my own at this point. But that’s just me.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/22 10:29 PM
6

Build trust and be consistent. Consider taking your wife and son out of the equation and rewriting this for you. You need to be consistent to yourself to build your own trust - in yourself. Yes, your points about consistency are correct in terms of potentially earning the trust of others. But you may also choose to be a “swaying oak” to those around you that you care about. You have to plant some roots first. I look forward to seeing your journey.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/22 10:18 PM
1

Good to hear on the mission progress. I’ve mentioned this to you before, but I always felt like it it’s just matching up how you can help with who or what you can help. Your mission can even be directed solely towards yourself. And remember - it’s a mission, not a life sentence.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/22 09:48 PM
3

OYS 42 Late thirties, 6'0", 189, BF 16%. Squat 325x1; Press 125x1; Deadlift 320x2; Bench 220x1; Sidebar x2 Physical Squat is continuing past three plates. Knee braces and more controlled breathing is helping this quite a bit. Bench - that two-plate bench is still not there. Pin presses are helping one rep of 220 go down and up smooth, but I still only have one in the tank for that. Divorce Despite initiating the divorce last week, my life has not changed much. A large weight has been lifted off …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/02/22 03:10 PM
2

I have spoken to lawyers but I do not have paperwork drawn. Things are extremely amicable between my wife and I right now. That being said, I am being cautious and recording conversations and having some items in writing at home. I’m making sure that the divorce talk is planned out and not sporadic. I live in a no-fault divorce state, and every lawyer has told me the same thing in regard to child support, property, and maintenance as it’s all done by a calculator. The decisions I’m working throu…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/22 06:44 PM
2

I appreciate the comment. Yes - it’s been a daily read and my information is recorded and adjusted. At this point, any conversations that are logistic or divorce based are written. But I will start recording. Things are extremely amicable which makes me think I should be especially cautious here on out. My state’s laws are extremely cut and dry. My house is a potential bargaining area that I’m looking into. But yes, it’s a lot of homework and prep.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/22 06:29 PM
1

I think I mentioned the binge eating last week. My opinion is that you don’t look for a forever plan right now; rather, you condition yourself differently in a consistent plan for several months and then reevaluate how eating is going to look for you in the future. I struggled with binge eating all of my life. The very first program that I could stick to and see results was a variation of Tim Ferris’s Four Hour Body. Eat “clean” for six days a week and have a cheat day on the seventh. Later on I…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/22 01:06 PM
2

You're welcome, it's the greatest honor for a besserwisser. You don’t know how hard I’m laughing at this right now.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/22 12:46 PM
3

I was glad to read more “I” statements from you this week. Keep moving in that direction. There’s still a lot of “shoulds” and “needs to,” but the shift can be slow. Regardless, continual progress in areas beneficial to you will help you. Also, thanks for teaching me the word “besserwisser.”
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/22 11:43 AM
3

OYS 41 Men who have lived significant lives are men who never waited: not for money, security, ease, or women. -WOTSM Late thirties, 6'0", 189, BF 16%. Squat 307x2; Press 125x1; Deadlift 320x2; Bench 220x1; Sidebar x2 I decided to divorce my wife of 15 years. I told her on Thursday. I chose myself in this decision. I couldn’t wait any longer. Mission and lifting have helped me keep moving forward. Regardless of what my decision was, there was still an emotional toll. A stronger frame and pre-det…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/22 11:19 AM
1

I am pursuing the life I deserve in every area of my life except the marriage. I am settling in the marriage. You probably already knew this, but the money turned out to be another ego-shield. One of your posts (InChargeMan’s story) states “Until you understand yourself, you cannot shape the world around you.” I had a revelation/breakthrough last night that I have to unpack. I believe it’s a significant part of me that I have to address myself. I’m going to be spending some time in this area in …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/22 06:34 PM
1

Thanks for the feedback. Regardless of what I choose, settling for less in any area would make this entire journey a waste. I appreciate the feedback.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/22 08:32 PM
1

As I’m taking in everything, I’m getting closer to making a decision. I will have to do some legitimate homework on this. The one question I will have is on whether or not it is more beneficial for me to pay off the student loan debt before I file. Question for a lawyer. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/22 02:32 AM
1

Correct.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/22 12:27 AM
1

The lie is am I ok fucking another woman on the side while remaining married in order to not lose control of my money (and lying to my wife or withholding the information). I thought I was ok with that. The more I read into the feedback and my own words, the more I’m realizing that I’m using the money as an excuse. It’s not bad at home. But it’s not great, or even challenging. I truly have created a situation where my stay plan is my go plan in terms of what I do with my time. I am also using th…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/02/22 12:13 AM
2

Thanks. All down to choice. Just have to get past the paralysis. Mission is locked down. That part is clear, abundant, and energizing. Once that and the physical part finally clicked (and then was reconfirmed for me), I started to put serious thought into the other areas.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 11:14 PM
2

I’m obviously fucking this up, ego shielding, and all sorts of other bullshit. You’re input is not wasted on me. I’m just still retarded. You know what, it’s fucking money. It’s not kids, it’s not location, career. It’s money. If the money was not an issue, I’d be gone.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 10:15 PM
1

For now, yes. I’m sure it’s not as complicated as I think it is. I’m not miserable in the marriage, and it’s not soul sucking. I just…don’t care about it and I’m not putting effort into anymore. I’m not being held back by the marriage and my life wouldn’t change in what I do on my own time. Hence, my thought on the best option for me to simply spin plates and live how I’m living at home.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 09:54 PM
5

I appreciate the input. >"I want to leave my wife but I am married with 5 kids and I am the breadwinner. It will ruin her life and break up my family. I don't feel like I can do what I want because I feel guilty." ​ It may or may not ruin my wife's life. I don't know. But probably. She does have a very large family that would help her. But this isn't my problem. I don't have a lot of concern regarding the kids. I feel that the kids will be better off seeing two parents (or at least one) happy. L…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 09:26 PM
3

This is difficult for me to answer at this point. My financial situation improves each day, but it's not at a level of abundance where I'm comfortable. I read your 50 OYS post the other day and resonated with the career portion. I have also spent less time with my main career, yet ended up making more money. Since putting some MRP practices into place, my income went up nearly 20K in one year. My work ethic and the possibility is there. Once my student loan debt is gone (close), it's a small mor…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 09:18 PM
5

I have close to 100% compliance at home. Despite my past issues and postings, I learned that it really wasn't all about the sex. My brief marriage Batman origin story is that I met my wife at the lowest point of my life, but I still had direction, promise, and a clear vision for what I wanted for myself. 15 years later, I've put a shitload of work into myself, even prior to MRP. The last year has been another level. I'm not necessarily uncomfortable being who I am at home. Rather, I'm coming to …
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 09:13 PM
1

I had a consult back within the first ten weeks of MRP/OYS's. A divorce would cost me at least $500,000.00 over sixteen years (when my youngest turns 18). Didn't get a second opinion yet, so this could be altered. I earn about 120K a year, and my wife is a SAHM that brings in maybe 2K a year. Multiple children.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 09:02 PM
5

I asked BBJ if he was OK if I shared some of this and he said yes. So, here's almost all of it. I'm definitely in a different headspace since then. Field Report I sent to BBJ/Stone: I understand if you don’t want to read this or respond. I was originally going to post this as a field report. However, I had some OPSEC concerns, but mostly some toxic shame/nice guy residual behaviors due to the incident. —- Field Report: Drunk With Power I really fucked things up for myself. I thought I had a hand…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 09:00 PM
7

Hello, fellow binge eater. As you stated, you’re choosing something that is helping and getting you excited. I’m telling you from experience: consider a back up plan that involves high volume but low calorie food. For some examples, look up Greg Doucette’s meals. You can then gorge yourself with minimal damage as you work towards controlling yourself more. Honestly, I didn’t even realize how bad it was until I just typed all of that out. I’ve made excuses for why I allow my schedule to be domina…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 01:12 PM
12

OYS 40 Late thirties, 6'0", 192lbs, BF 16%. Squat 307x2; Press 125x1; Deadlift 320x2; Bench 220x1; Sidebar x2 New username. Physical Two plate bench is getting closer. Continuing with pin presses. I'm able to hold 225 lbs and lower it down...it's just not coming up right now. Still, it's getting better. I have to just continue hacking at this while making sure my form is in check. Squats: I'm falling in love with leg days a little more than I have before. My leg sessions are Wednesday and Saturd…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/02/22 11:56 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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