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NotGoingOutsideAgain Archive

View 0 posts and 65 comments by NotGoingOutsideAgain on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
51

Nope. I've only been with a few men but only one of them put in anything resembling an effort to get me there. Even then, he didn't actually listen when i tried to guide him and just went back to doing what he thought would work. I'm seriously considering dating women from here on out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 09:37 AM
24

100% this. I grew up with a volatile dad who used to smack me around for answering back or trying to leave and I didn't want to do that again so when my ex would kick off and punch walls, shout and slam doors over tiny things, I would go absolutely still and just keep my eyes on him in silence. He complained afterwards that when I sat there like that "it made him feel like he was just nothing, like I was looking down on him". Later this became the justification for why he reacted more aggressive…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 01:13 AM
269

I was posting a letter on the 13th and some absolutely rancid guy (old enough to be my father) shouted at me "is my valentine in there?". When I ignored him, he shouted it again and waved in front of me. When I just looked at him blankly, he scowled at me and muttered "no f***ing sense of humour some people". It's so weird that their reaction to female indifference is anger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 05:14 PM
9

She's unwilling to apply to label "feminist" to her body of work, in the same way that she is unwilling for Handmaid's Tale to be labelled as sci-fi. Which if I was in her position as an author I might also do, since the industry loves to file work by female authors away to a "just for the ladies and kind of lightweight" subsection of literature. I don't know that I've ever seen anything where she outright decries feminism
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 06:02 PM
26

This is why FDS is the only online platform I participate in. It's so sad that men infiltrate and damage places like OPs group because for some women it's the only way they can access information, but if I need to address personal or medical information, I would only ever attend an in person group so I could be more sure of who had access to that information.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 10:29 PM
61

Thank god he picked her! Imagine if she'd waited and ended up with someone who spoiled her unnecessarily?! What a terrible waste...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 04:01 AM
132

Good for her! But what a sorry state of affairs that anyone would read that and decide that she did in fact owe that loser a bj, after oral surgery no less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 10:03 PM
2

No worries, And for sure, this guy is also bragging to try to seem a bit more "bad" and attract women who are into that. But as eveloe says above, in the UK you don't go to prison for just getting in a fight, usually bouncers or police break it up and tell everyone to go home. To serve time, you either have to do some real harm, be a repeat offender or have aggravating factors like domestic violence or vulnerable victim. So in his case, he's bragging that he's been in trouble but the reality is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/21 12:28 PM
9

In the UK, we only have prison, which in terms of experience is sort of a midway between the US jail-prison, and which end of the scale depends on the security category of prison you end up in
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 03:30 PM
43

100% this. How she just silently threw the check at him, how disrespectfully he's talking to her, her lack of any real reaction other than super over the top pouting - fake AF
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 03:26 PM
18

Yes! The only reality shows I have watched post FDS are Love is Blind and Too Hot to Handle and both were hot garbage fires as a concept but with my new FDS goggles, totally fun to watch and spot where old me might have fallen for it or to test my red flag spotter. Almost all of the men (and about half of the women) wouldn't have gotten past one chat with me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 11:14 AM
41

Not just guys you date either! Male relatives made me feel like I would be difficult to love from a young age because I was too clever, too talkative, too dynamic and for some reason a chatty, articulate 5 year old made them feel bad about themselves. That set the tone for a lot of the crappy treatment I put up with from the boyfriends that came later but a lot of self help books and FDS later, I know there's nothing wrong with me and that those are the reasons to love me not the reasons no one …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 11:00 AM
138

One of the most annoying things about breadcrumbing is that they know what they're doing and so do you, but if you say anything about it, it's so hard to pin down and so easy to excuse that they'll just turn it around to make you look insecure or obsessed with them. There is no way to "call out" this person so that you emerge the triumphant winner and they a shamefaced loser. Listen to auntie - just block 'em.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 10:50 AM
764

Absolutely! It starts with "joking" like this, which puts you on the backfoot and feeling like you have to explain something although you haven't done anything wrong. From there, they keep building on your discomfort because of their shifting moods and imaginary goalposts and the next thing you know, they make all the decisions and you run everything by them without thinking (and that's the best case scenario with this type of abuser).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 10:45 AM
16

This. I recently had some guy in my messages trying to mansplain my own damn comment to me, like he was showing me the light despite actually just reiterating my own statement. And ladies, his comment was looooooong. Fortunately he prefaced it by explaining that he was a man so couldn't reply directly in FDS, which meant I didn't bother reading past the first sentence. I enjoy FDS largely because I sought out a space free from male opinion and our mods do an amazing job of spotting the LARPers. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 12:29 PM
72

As a naive young libfem, I fully bought the argument that sex work could be a choice and legalisation was important to make it safe for the women. Then I went to Amsterdam on vacation and saw an insanely beautiful women (potential Victoria's Secret model) standing in her doorway being bargained down on the price of a threesome by a vile old man with a teenage boy who I sincerely hope wasn't his grandson, at 10am. And then I knew: it might be legal, they might be safer, but no woman deserves that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 05:10 PM
24

It's not even just a question of respecting you, it's literally biology. Men form attraction bonds through a combination of vasopressin (VP) and oxytocin. VP is a hormone that they build through dating, feelings of attraction and getting to know you. If you're intimate with them before they build up enough VP, an orgasm resets them back to baseline VP levels and theres a good chance they'll lose interest in favour of someone new who gives them a VP spike. So if you really like them and want that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:59 AM
133

Glad you're in a good place now but remember, there's lots of things guys can use us for other than sex. If he was turning that down, he was almost certainly benefitting from some other "service" you provided, whether than was physical (cooking, cleaning, helping him with errands) or emotional (free therapy, ego boost). There's always the mommy part of being some LVM's mommy bangmaid and it's not your job!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:40 AM
135

My ex used to cry, pull his hair, stamp his feet, full toddler tantrum. It was so embarrassing and a bit frightening because he was so much bigger and acting like he was losing control. It used to work and he always got his own way, until he did it at a party. Two guys walked past right as he started and I saw how they looked at him, like he was the weirdest loser ever and something in my mind just shifted. I laughed before I could stop myself and he just stopped on a dime. It was all an act, al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 09:14 PM
16

I get what you mean, it's not a straight neg in the conventional sense and he was definitely trying to get her to downplay her accomplishments and build him up before he split the bill and went home to his mum's house but it had the same effect as a neg on her, which is why I used the word I guess. She's such a gentle, sweet person and she really took it to heart that someone would view everything she worked so hard for as a negative thing and it left her questioning herself a bit. Fortunately, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 08:32 PM
31

A friend of mine is a medical doctor studying for a PhD in something incredibly difficult and complicated. She went on a date with some asshole who asked the usual questions about her job etc and when she told him, he blew her off by literally saying "Oh, I just have a normal office job and I'd be really threatened by dating someone doing something that hard and impressive". Like, thanks for taking the trash out yourself my guy, but also miss her with that neg.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 08:09 PM
108

I never quite got to the final thought so articulately, but this is spot on the money
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 09:59 PM
3

Indeed. I went to an all girls school so my experience is always a little one sided but I certainly met my fair share of douchey boys outside of school
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 08:56 PM
18

This. Also the few socials I have are locked up tight, no one gets access until I know them, I never tag my location etc. If a relationship ends, even pleasantly, they get blocked and deleted everywhere. My number is unregistered and my electoral roll info is private so relative strangers can't look me up or keep tabs on me. I don't give out my cell number to anyone I don't know. After an ex overstepped himself, I brushed up on my personal security measures. I liked Chris Ryan's book Safe - it w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 02:19 AM
7

I came off a moped at relative speed, smashed my knees into my chest and only managed to bruise my ribs. It hurt like bejeezus at the time and for a long time afterwards. The idea of a guy hitting me harder than that "in a controlled manner" as a sexy thing is ludicrous
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 02:05 AM
6

you can shove that eyeroll up your ass Your points are excellent, but this was perfect
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 01:22 AM
48

My mind immediately went to the bullying angle. Little girls can be brutal if you're not "right". Unbrushed hair or clashing clothes, not being in proper uniform colors if there is one, a weird lunch - these are the exact sorts of things that single you out for a rough time in that environment. A loving parent who would do anything for his children would care about that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 01:16 AM
10

I can't imagine his reaction would be this conflicted if she was "just being honest" about having an undisclosed STD / child / sex work past / high body count / literally any fudging thing really.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 01:08 AM
21

Pre-FDS, an ex revealed that he'd used prostitutes, long ago on "lad's holidays", in Amsterdam and Thailand. He wasn't confessing or explaining, just mentioned in passing as part of a funny story and genuinely didn't seem to think I would be bothered. Even as a pretty hardcore cool girl, I was done immediately. Didn't even stop to tie my shoes. How could I possibly view him as anything but a dirty, exploitative sex tourist after that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 01:04 AM
101

Exactly. And even if you were using a toy excessively, at worst it might start to physically desensitise you but it won't erode your empathy for other human beings or contribute to normalising rape/child abuse/human trafficking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 04:51 PM
116

Furry Viking "stud" is bald as fudge under that hat too. Extreme hatfishing, in case the white nationalist tattoos hadn't put anyone off completely
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 07:58 PM
14

I didn't make it to the end for the same reason. Once she started excusing him as an excellent ally and showing how he wanted to understand but just couldn't I knew there wasn't going to be a proper resolution to the situation. And I'd wager money she never got her bathroom properly deep cleaned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 02:05 PM
14

I think it is her, Zoe something
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 08:10 AM
261

Once had a date walk me to a bus stop and then go to leave before the bus arrived. I told him it was pretty bad manners and he immediately turned it around and said wasn't I worried about him standing around in the cold? Unbelievable really.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 07:00 PM
8

Not a book, but the Dipsea app is great for audio short stories - the voice actors have pleasant voices, there's a good mix of genres and so far I've not come across anything aggressive or pornish (although I haven't made huge in roads into their catalogue yet). It's definitely catered more to women's fantasy not the male gaze and it's hot
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 06:48 PM
7

In real life, I've never been called a c*nt and it isn't a word that I or any of my acquaintances use. I've seen only women called it by inc-ls or rdpl on reddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 01:47 AM
5

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/20 03:45 AM
45

Do any of the ones you can get online actually work though? I want to get one but everything I find has really mixed / very negative with a lot of fake 5* reviews. I wouldn't even mind paying a bit more for one but I want to be sure it's actually worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 08:03 PM
12

My mother was a children's social worker and one of the things she found really hard to deal with was the sheer volume of men that were totally comfortable grooming their teen daughters into glamour modelling. This was the mid 90s so OF and PH were't a thing back then but I remember her telling me how the modelling was the first step in a plan to eventually start pimping them out and it was even more insidious than just straight up child molestation, because the girl victims were made to believe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 09:01 PM
28

Yeah. Whilst I guess it's better than a partner openly disrespecting you by looking at girls who look nothing like you, just because a guy watches videos of girls who look like you or follows instagirls who have your style, doesn't mean he *loves only you*. It just means he has a type.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 08:47 PM
7

Similar vein, I find this TikTok trend of smacking or aggressively tapping the screen beyond irritating. I know it's just for emphasis, but if someone tapped me in the forehead like that in real life, they best be ready to catch actual hands. Can't fault her message or the good looking out for her friend, but that misogynistic aggressive attitude isn't the way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 08:40 PM
2

No idea, I don't listen to it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 08:07 PM
72

CAN she be mad at him? Can she be mad at him?! Can she be mad at him?! ​ What in the everloving Christ.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 01:56 AM
3

I love The Mindy Project. I want all her outfits and her apartment. Also, one of my favourite quotes: "So you went on a coffee date with a loser. All coffee dates are losers".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 11:24 PM
31

Similar to Guy's We've F***d, two young and attractive girls talking about their sex-posi, *totally wild and awesome slutscapade lifestyles. But deeply not clued in on how the men in these stories actually view the encounters Edit - turns out there's just one presenter now as they had some sort of falling out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 10:37 PM
25

It is. Super woke softboi mockery all the way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 06:51 PM
21

Ugh, when she asks if he saw he hurt her with that comment and he says yes. Then she asks if it hurt him to know he hurt her and he laughs and says no. That shit hurts my heart.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 06:49 PM
6

She pops up in a bunch of reality shows as well as a relationship expert. The most recent one I spotted her on was the terrible Too Hot To Handle
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 06:46 PM
32

Same! YT really likes to promote her videos as a "sexpert" and any searches about low libido pop up a ton of her videos. She never once mentions the possibility that women just stop finding their men sexually attractive because they aren't making any effort. It's always "try an open relationship, discuss fantasy, watch porn together". A perfect storm of all the wrong moves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 04:26 PM
26

I rolled my eyes as soon as I saw the age gap, but I literally said "oh fuck" out loud when I got to 26 weeks pregnant. These poor girls just don't see the red starter flag and society has it sewn up so when women his own age tell her he's single because we see the bum in him, they're led to think we're just jealous of their perky youth. I hope she sees sense and gets out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/20 12:38 PM
-5

I think Jackie might need to take a break from online dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 11:59 AM
6

Well, thank you for bringing Clementine into my life! How have I not encountered her before now?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 11:33 AM
48

But...I literally am the main character. Die mad about it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 01:34 AM
16

It's not a punishment and it's nothing you did. Sometimes we just miss the early red flags, usually because we're not being selfish enough. It's time to be really, really (more than you even think possible) selfish and just do whatever you need to be safe and happy. Screw that guy and the feelings he rode in on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 07:22 PM
5

Thanks. I'm alright though, I'm well out of it now and it really does get better! I'm so glad you found this sub when you needed it and are making the moves to save yourself. Be safe and all the best wishes and luck to you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 07:18 PM
9

Yikes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 07:15 PM
41

I couldn't believe that. Like, the initial stand up was on him (although girl, stop paying guys to date you) but to then get ignored for a few months until he decides she's on his booty list and to willingly accept it, then go on to marry that mess? Nah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 05:46 PM
57

This is why I'm so, so grateful for FDS. 95% of these scrotes wouldn't get the chance to do this if you follow the rules and keep your boundaries. And the other 5 that might squeak through just roll off like water on a duck's back because we don't get emotionally invested to men who aren't showing commitment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 05:44 PM
13

This! And that book is a great recommendation. I'm 5 years out of a relationship that left me a shadow of myself. Even when he's long gone, it takes more time than you think for the thought patterns and cruel comments they plant to work their way out. I still worry that I smell bad if people get close to me because he threw that out a lot, even though I maintain good hygiene and no one else has ever even hinted I stink. It really sucks because the trauma makes you believe that you're alone becau…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 04:50 PM
1

I bawled my eyes out for the whole last book! It was beautiful and a perfectly wrapped up ending (I won't say anything to spoil it) but also so devastatingly sad. God, now I need to reread it...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 04:11 PM
8

Same! It's so freaking weird but I suppose at least I find out they're definitely porn sick and have weird ideas about male-female nonsexual relationships
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 04:09 PM
38

There's a really great graphic novel series based on this premise - Y: The Last Man. A mysterious virus/event wipes out all the men but one (and his monkey) and it starts with him just trying to get to his girlfriend but expands into this whole how-the-world-runs-with-just-women saga. I loved it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/20 05:15 PM
23

Because he couldn't get/afford the mortgage by himself and only an 18 year old wouldn't see through his act or know how to fight back would be my best guess
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 02:40 PM
14

I was so naive around this. I thought my family were so ridiculous about prenups because why would you marry someone you didn't trust and how icky to be so restrictive around love and money. I was a forever girlfriend idiot with strong pick-me behaviours who bought a house with a man I had no desire to marry. Several years later, said man dumped me as part of a full blown mid life crisis and he was determined to come out better off than he went in. I would never have thought he could behave in s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 04:05 AM
23

I really don't need my partner to be publicly praising how strong I am emotionally and mentally. I'd rather that he just not put me in the situations to test those strengths.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 03:50 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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