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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

NotUsedUsernameYet/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/23 11:49 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I have met other women after divorce. No reasons to believe they were cunts but clearly they weren’t open to anything physical after 1-3 dates and didn’t feel that “pull” but continued going on dates with me. When I asked direct question, they admitted that they continued going on dates because “I thought in my age attraction shouldn’t matter that much and I should think with my head”, “when I feel attraction I go all in right away though”. I don’t know if they had or hadn’t extensive history of…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 12:26 AM
1

I was married to a woman who dated casually before me, I didn’t have a problem with that. I didn’t know the term back then but I was very blue pilled. Only to learn later that she was never physically attracted to me and when she is physically attracted to a man she goes “all in” right away, and it never changed for her. Eventually she cheated on me with some teenager and we divorced. Lesson learned: if you want to find a life partner, it must be a woman who is very physically attracted to you a…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 11:06 PM
1

What’s the alternative? “Honey, you will properly court me for a month first. I had dates with other guys casually - but with you it’s different because you are so special to me”?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 10:26 AM
6

Custody of your daughter should be a top priority otherwise she will soon be indoctrinated against you. Make sure you are an equal or primary caregiver to your child. Stop working more than 40 hours a week, be involved parent instead. Make sure your STBX works full time. Never even think about moving out - it’s the biggest mistake you could make. I am not a lawyer, and you need a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 05:07 AM
–

Women are allowed to have any preferences they want. My only ask is to please be honest about your preferences and don’t say that you date for “personality” if in reality it’s something else.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 02:15 AM
1

It’s way too much. You need to lose weight not only for dating but also for your own health.
/r/seduction15/07/26 04:00 AM
19

It can all be region specific. I am in SoCal and got some dates out of Bumble but Hinge is completely dead for me. M39. Also can’t relate to your experience unfortunately. I got better results at 35 but after that it’s like switch flipped. I think I am primarily filtered out due to age, appearance, and overall “dad” vibe.
/r/seduction12/07/26 10:00 PM
2

How old are children? You can’t forget or forgive her now and that’s okay - she is the opposing party of a lawsuit. You have lots of things to take care of: custody (if kids are still minors), financials, building your life, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 08:11 PM
3

“Fit women my age are incredibly scarce; I meet like two of them per month.” I understood that you meet thousands of women your age (in real life and online) but only 2 per months are fit enough.
/r/seduction05/07/26 05:13 AM
2

Sorry, I should have been more clear in my question. Of course you can see fit women in their 20s in all these places, especially in college town. But as a man in mid-40s where do you establish connection, start a conversation with women half your age?
/r/seduction05/07/26 05:11 AM
1

Where do you meet these women then?
/r/seduction05/07/26 03:19 AM
7

Think about it this way: if only 1 out of 1000 women your age are attractive enough for you, and traits that you are attracted to are quite universal (other men are attracted to fit women too) it means you are going after top 0.1% women. Are you top 0.1% man in your age group all things considered? You are very fit (8 pack, vascular biceps) but these are mainly qualities men admire not women. If you want to date top 0.1% women - you need to be one of top 0.1% men based on qualities women are att…
/r/seduction05/07/26 03:16 AM
3

Do you have kids?
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 01:02 AM
8

You will be told “two consenting adults” in comments but can you remind what you have in common? What are goals for each of you, do those align? As M39, I personally wouldn’t go below 30.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/26 01:47 AM
8

Great comment. Just one thing: simple text messages were perfectly admissible in my trial. It’s better than official apps in a sense that opposing party is more likely to say super stupid stuff there (in my case she did Lol). Disable iMessage if you have iPhone as iMessage allows editing of messages.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 06:21 AM
5

It’s “good” age in a sense that children are already in grade school. Would be worse with newborn. Your priority should be establishing yourself as a primary caregiver for children and make your STBX is gainfully employed.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 06:18 AM
3

Because by moving out you indicate to the court that she is the primary caregiver of children and you are totally fine with that. After you move out she has no motivation to ever finalise the divorce. She has your house, your children, your money, and no you. It will be dragged for years while she will be nailed in your bed while kids sleep in the next room.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 03:42 AM
4

Her lawyers will do their best to convince her she is entitled to everything - more than what you have or would ever have. That’s how they make their money. You need an attorney, and good one. Yesterday. Whatever you do - don’t move out of the house. Which county in CA? How old are children?
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 03:33 AM
1

Russians in NY would be immigrants, Russians in Turkey are tourists. Totally different audiences with different goals and mindsets.
/r/seduction02/07/26 07:06 AM
2

She told you that you are living with your parents? You won’t win any divorce with that attitude, you already signed your defeat if you just do what the opposing party tells you to. Not even asks - tells you. Unbelievable. What did you do to “break her trust”?
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 01:19 AM
2

What is more important - future of your daughter and yourself or respect for your STBX boundaries?
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 01:12 AM
2

Why did you move out to begin with?
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 01:10 AM
5

I am 39 so for me 25 is too young too. It’s hard to tell between 25 and 35 sometimes too and I don’t want to be “that” guy towards 25 years old.
/r/seduction17/06/26 07:36 AM
16

One concern (especially during day game) is correctly estimating age of a person. Don’t want to be that creep that hits on way too young women.
/r/seduction17/06/26 05:13 AM
7

What is your age and where do you approach them (which location - not city)?
/r/seduction17/06/26 05:10 AM
5

As a 39 years old single dad who doesn’t plan to have more kids, I considered vasectomy. But honestly given that amount of sex post-divorce is few and far between - not worth it. Dating is harder with age and vasectomy doesn’t look like a good investment of time and effort anymore. YMMV.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 10:06 AM
10

She cheated. I told her that I am gong to divorce her immediately after I found. She was way too busy riding dick carousel while I was working on legal matters. I got everything I could ever dream about and a bit more.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 05:39 AM
3

9 years is good. It’s right below 10 year threshold where you risk lifetime alimony in California. Don’t move out. Be perfect parent of your child (ideally - primary caregiver). Hire litigator attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 05:22 AM
5

Imagine your wife cheats on you, gets pregnant with another man, and expects you to raise that child 50% of time. Another 50% child will be with dad. How would you feel?
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 02:03 AM
2

Price and billing practices would widely depend on a country I assume. I had very expensive lawyer (California) and it was worth every penny. If I would have a cheaper lawyer I would lose much more at the end of the day - through more litigation, alimony, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 04:25 PM
1

I was with you till “which needs to change”. No it doesn’t need to. It’s nature.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 01:23 AM
4

Not sure about late 40s but in late 30s dating is impossible for me.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 08:40 AM
2

You are free to do what you want but intimacy isn’t guaranteed on the other side of the divorce. Especially in your late 30s and beyond. You may end up losing best friend, ability to raise your child, tons of money, and don’t gain anything.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 03:14 AM
1

It’s very difficult on the dating market for men. My ex was able to date lots of men without kids - despite having a child with me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 05:20 PM
1

I don’t know where you are but in most states cheating really doesn’t matter.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 06:44 PM
8

Lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 07:22 AM
2

I think it largely comes from the fact that women are more likely to quit dating market than men. After the age of 40, 71% of single women and 42% of single men quit dating. This leaves 2:1 ratio of single men to single women still on the market.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 12:43 AM
2

200 lbs, visible 6 pack when flexed. Orange County, California M39
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 06:50 AM
2

I am not sure if three inches make THAT big of a difference but it’s certainly not a reality at 6’1” for me.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 06:41 AM
1

You may need to adjust your expectations if at age of 49 you expect to have “roster of women” post-divorce. Unless your standards are non-existent.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 05:54 AM
7

No, but for other reasons. Man lacking attention from women isn’t more likely to be misogynistic or murderer. But he clearly doesn’t have the right experience, would likely be worse in bed, wouldn’t know how to act in certain situations, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 08:13 AM
10

I have initiated divorce. Claimed reason was wife cheating. Real reason was that she married me to take revenge on another person - she disclosed it some time after marriage. I am much happier as a single dad now.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 02:05 AM
8

Yes, obviously. I would say that after 35 dating prospects for men are extremely bleak in general, even with women their own age. And after 40, 71% of single women and 42% of single men leave the dating market completely, which means it’s 2:1 ratio of men to women still on the market. Fantasy of men getting more options later in age is just laughable.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 09:29 PM
6

Do you see these men online mostly? If yes - it’s a result of echo chambers. In real life I see decent well educated successful young men. If these men don’t date - it’s mostly because they realized they aren’t desirable by women hence they applied their energy elsewhere. Not necessarily blaming women.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/26 07:12 AM
0

Because some men genuinely want to be fathers. And finding a woman who would give birth to your child without marriage is extremely difficult, especially when you consider other requirements for mother of your children. To avoid “paying for the woman” marry someone who is in the same tax bracket as you.
/r/MensRights06/03/26 12:33 AM
342

I call bs. Reason why women like author of this article say that there are no available men is because they don’t see bottom 85% of men as human. Also any of these women can open a dating app and get bombarded with thousands of options a day. Compare that to men’s experience on same apps. Average woman is more desirable on a sexual marketplace than DiCaprio in his prime.
/r/MensRights25/02/26 10:04 AM
-1

You probably meant “20s/early 30s”?
/r/seduction12/02/26 08:41 PM
8

Yes, it’s way harder with age. Why would 28 years old woman swipe on 40 years old when she has a line of 30 years olds who are generally healthier and more attractive?
/r/seduction12/02/26 08:28 PM
2

It was during covid, she moved and self-quarantined with her boyfriend. Child stayed with me and all parties were okay with it. Unique situation due to 2020.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 06:38 AM
2

How old are kids? I got divorced when my child just turned 7. For first 6 months he lived with me 100% of time, for the following 6 years 70% of time. It was totally manageable without any help - I have no relatives other than my son in this country.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 04:38 AM
16

She lives rent-free in your head though. Time to evict.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 06:37 PM
1

What does your dating profile say about your dating goals? If you say “long-term” and woman you go on dates with want long-term it’s expected. Also how old are you now? There is less FWB opportunities with age.
/r/seduction22/01/26 09:26 AM
2

Why would you be the one moving out? If you move out - she has everything she wants (kids, your money or what’s left of them, house, and no you) and has zero motivation to ever finalize the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 05:24 AM
1

Early 30s and late 30s aren’t the same for me as a man. Past 35 (close to 40) it’s an absolute desert.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 08:31 AM
2

What exactly is he saying “trying to embarrass you”? Is there any way you can take this to legal system, especially if he does it in public school?
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 12:42 AM
3

Your SMV can’t be based on job or home. Almost no men peak after 27: in most cases your skin is sagging and gets dark spots, fat is gained, teeth are worse, mental baggage is there, testosterone declined, you name it. You can try to buy your way into sexual relationship but you know that she would never be with you when you both were in early 20s or earlier.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 08:36 AM
0

LOL. Have you ever spoke with a single 35 years old woman? They have infinite options.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 06:55 PM
2

35 years old man making 150k can secure 2br apartment built in 1980s where I live. Median house is way over 2M and he will likely never afford it. Don’t think he has tons of options based solely on income.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/26 06:02 PM
2

Ask average 40+ woman how many “dark handsome tall” men will ping her within first 24 hours on dating app or within first hour in the bar if she holds eye contact for a second.
/r/MensRights03/01/26 03:54 AM
-1

There is no wall for women. Most women remain desirable well into their 50s and later. Saying that “woman hits wall at 30” is absolutely delusional. And saying that allegedly guys go for much younger women en masse is equally delusional. Men may want to do that but it’s unrealistic for most.
/r/MensRights03/01/26 02:51 AM
5

I don’t live in Seattle permanently but I have spent lots of time there - very significant part of many years of my life, for months. Yes, Seattle is very difficult. The fact that you say “worth living” based on dating alone is very concerning. Women feel this as neediness, and it has nothing to do with your height or hair. Make sure your life is happy and worth living as a single person as a first step.
/r/seduction29/12/25 05:07 AM
3

But “want to be pursued” is very different from “accepting” - it’s actually closer to “rejecting”. Doesn’t pursue mean that closer man gets (through courtship) - further you try to get away from him?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 02:43 AM
5

And what is woman’s reaction to man’s interest and courtship in these hundreds of years? Run away from him, create challenges for him - or gradually accept his advances staying within cultural boundaries?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 02:26 AM
5

She ran the background check based on your number and didn’t like what she found.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 02:15 AM
4

Why do you want man to “pursue” you? I am not native English speaker but for me pursuing means that closer he gets - further you try to run away from him. I totally understand if you want man to do the courtship, but why pursuing?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 02:13 AM
13

While she is “in love” is the best time to get her sign the papers you need. Be smart and fast: this phase won’t last long, you need to talk to attorney yesterday and make sure she can’t back out from what she signs during the “in love” phase.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 07:35 PM
2

“Sees friend in you” means she wasn’t physically attracted to you. Person subconsciously decides if they are attracted to you or not within minutes if not seconds of seeing you. If she is attracted to you there is almost nothing you can do to break that attraction. If she is not attracted to you there is absolutely nothing you can do to create that attraction.
/r/seduction24/12/25 05:39 AM
4

It’s highly unlikely that you will look much younger than your age. It’s highly unlikely that you will date women much younger than you. But when you will be 32 you obviously can date someone who is 28 and it’s normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 07:47 AM
0

Millionaire isn’t a flex you think it is if we talk about ages 40 and above. Almost every acquaintance is in that category where I live. In your question you didn’t mention most important characteristic: how does that man’s face look like.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 07:40 AM
10

If she would be actively dating it would be amazing for you. When she has butterflies in her stomach she is most likely to sign papers you want. There is a very short time frame to make this happen but this saved financial future and custody for few men including myself.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/25 12:39 AM
5

I am very close to 40 and yes, vast majority of women I see want long-term relationship or at least proper courtship. They also filter very hard - if you don’t meet one of requirements you are out. Dating is close to impossible for men after 35. You need to focus on finalizing your divorce first though. Outcome of it will define rest of your life.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 07:43 PM
1

I am happy that it works for you, but for most single fathers after divorce dating is non-existent. If you have some reasonable standards yourself, doing all this swiping for one first date a quarter (and that’s if you are lucky) just isn’t worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 01:53 AM
5

What’s “knock the dust off” in this context? Do you have children that live with you?
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 11:43 PM
5

Dating scene is easy? Lol
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 08:48 PM
7

Focus on finalizing your divorce first. It will take time and a lot of effort. Dating may or may not happen later, it’s better to keep very low expectations on that front.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 08:47 PM
5

“Finding love again” isn’t a priority now. Current priority is minimising divorce damage: keep at least 50% custody, 50% assets/debt, reduce alimony if possible. Build your new life as a single father. “Love again” is years away. Since “she is ready to leave” it means she has next man lined up. It’s best time to get favorable outcome in custody and finances while she has butterflies in her stomach. You have couple of months to have good deal sealed. Focus on using this time wisely, talk to good …
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 03:27 AM
2

From my experience, they simply filter out men over 35 on apps. As M38, I don’t even see women younger than 30 in my stack because presumably they set upper age range to something younger than 38. I am not blaming them, totally valid preference.
/r/seduction16/12/25 02:36 AM
15

More difficult past 35 in my experience. There are less single women with age, many stop caring about themselves, people are bitter, have emotional baggage, and many quit dating market completely. Those who are still dating often have higher requirements than they had decades ago. Past age of 40, 71% of single women and 42% of single men quit the dating market without intent to ever date again.
/r/seduction16/12/25 02:34 AM
2

Regardless of finances, travelling somewhere where it is legal and safe regularly could be very difficult logistically.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 04:26 PM
17

Hiring a prostitute is a felony where I live.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 03:18 PM
21

So someone looking at me for 3 seconds at a bar is now a “signal”? What?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 08:04 AM
25

Are you serious? In case you are: if someone looks at me, it can be for many different reasons. They also may look at the person/object behind me, etc. Someone merely looking at you or standing/sitting near you in a public place is not a signal of any kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 07:41 AM
6

Getting you out of the house is what she wants badly. If she gets that - what do you get in return? How about more favorable division of property? Signed by judge of course.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 06:53 AM
7

What motivation she has to ever finalize divorce once she has house, possessions, your money, and no you?
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 02:57 AM
2

Woman will never forgive man the fact that he forgave her cheating. Her respect is lost forever and no amount of “weekly date nights” will return that. And yes, even with no-fault divorce laws, best time to divorce a woman is when she has an affair. She is emotionally invested, feels butterflies in her stomach, and it’s an opportunity to sign reasonable agreement. Bonus points if you can make her move out to the AP, keeping primary residence of children with you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 02:51 AM
1

You didn’t say why exactly you asked for divorce and what exactly happened “to make things work”.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 01:51 AM
1

What makes you thinking there were lots of sex past age of 50 in average family 50 years ago?
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 05:53 PM
1

You are poetic but you could be a bit more clear. Is lack of sex a result of resentment that comes from your dad bod?
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 08:41 AM
3

There is no sex. But you are “friendly”. Other than lack of sex, what kind of issues affect your daily life in marriage? Asking since divorce isn’t necessarily a guarantee of sex, especially past certain age for men.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 08:14 AM
1

Never attempted to date women with extensions, fake lashes, or long nails. I find long nails (especially pointy ones) extremely unattractive. Many women wear makeup, and I don’t know if woman used filler or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 05:39 PM
11

Talk to him. Ask what real life experiences (not media) influenced his views. If these experiences could be explained in non-RP way.
/r/ExRedPill07/11/25 03:53 AM
2

Women in their early 20s don’t go for 35 years old men typically.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 06:12 AM
0

How about getting a signal of interest and approaching after that?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 06:08 AM
5

People of different ages go to different bars. If you deliberately go to college bars and claim “ohh, there are no women my age here” it’s dishonest.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 06:06 AM
-4

Have you ever heard about lovebombing? You can’t love your parents or child too much, you can’t work too hard at your job, you can’t be too supportive of your friends - at least your parent/child, employer, or friend would be fine with it. You can certainly cause a woman’s ick by being to open and too direct early on. That’s why it’s a standalone communication skill, unlike everything else.
/r/ExRedPill03/11/25 03:44 AM
-5

It is a specialized skill because you have to create tension not clarity. I communicate with people for living. Talk to them, write them, write for them. In most of communication I achieve clarity. If I like someone or something I am very open in communicating that. When I tell woman after a first date that I like her a lot and want to see her more, ad early as possible - she doesn’t get the tension she needs and gets an ick instead.
/r/ExRedPill03/11/25 02:31 AM
7

Charisma is a thing and can make you a great friend. But she knows if she is attracted to you within minutes or seconds. If she is not attracted no amount of charisma further down the road will ever help.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 03:32 PM
2

What can woman get from a relationship with you - something that she can’t get without men and better than what she can get from other guys?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 12:08 AM
12

Desirability on a sexual market isn’t much related to a degree or a good job. I (M38) am not a virgin but last time I had sex in 2022. It’s just fair to admit that my status and leadership position in the company you know are minor factors in attracting women.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 09:09 PM
1

Why is this a problem to be solved by a society? Yes, 1-5% of men can’t ever get laid. This is more or less “normal” throughout the human history. It’s not like getting another person willing to have sex with you is a human right. Society has a lot of problem to solve that can lead to people dying, and sexlessness takes lower priority.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 08:45 PM
3

By age 25-30, 1-5% of men remain virgins. Do you really blame women that don’t want to date men who are at the bottom 1-5% of desirability?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 07:54 PM
3

What I meant is that body shape, especially for men, is largely overrated. Most men can get in shape with enough work and discipline if they want to, because of that body type isn’t critical - unlike the immutable characteristics. Whatever is most difficult or impossible to change defines your value on the market more.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 06:55 PM
10

Being “in shape man” doesn’t entitle you to “in shape” woman. There are things that are valued much more on the market such as facial attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 06:23 PM
1

There are tons of benefits in dating man in his 30s when that man can provide nice “experiences”. He can invite to a nice dinners or generally has a lifestyle that men in their 20s can’t afford. I am not talking purely gold digger situation just some women’s a desire to be with a man who “made it”. Yes, that happens. Thing is that it’s not OP’s situation either per his comments. He is socially equivalent to people in their 20s.
/r/seduction28/10/25 03:35 AM
0

Why would early 20s woman choose to have sex with him rather than man her age who is likely better looking than OP, more fit, has more stamina?
/r/seduction28/10/25 03:09 AM
-4

The fact that you are behind in career doesn’t make approaching 10+ years younger girls less creepy. I don’t know what’s wrong with you man.
/r/seduction28/10/25 02:59 AM
1

In which sense are they you “behind”? Are you in college?
/r/seduction28/10/25 02:46 AM
-3

As an M38, I wouldn’t consider approaching college girls. Even at 33 I wouldn’t do it. Like, why? We’re in totally different stages of life.
/r/seduction28/10/25 02:31 AM
–

Female characters in literature targeted to women will be as plain as possible so that reader could “insert herself” into the plot.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 05:50 PM
1

No way just less than 1% make 6 figures with college education and physically fit. Look outside. Income and education correlate a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 10:56 PM
2

These calculations are BS because they don’t take into account correlation of factors. People of normal weight are more likely to meet activity guidelines and have higher income, etc. You and ChatGPT can’t just multiply probabilities.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 10:41 PM
3

Seems like Jack expected that by doing all that work he will be entitled to a romantic relationship? Not how it works, he was wrong for assuming that covert contract. Women’s evolutionary goal is to choose best genes, especially at times when they can provide themselves and government provides physical safety. Most important characteristics are not the ones you can fix in 5 years. Jack’s body fat matters less than his jawline. Jack’s style matters less than social class he was born into. Jack’s …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 02:29 PM
-1

Why do you think men who struggle romantically don’t see women as people? If only “interacting with women like humans” gave attraction… I have female friends, most people I work with are women including managers and my reports. I know that they very much enjoy working and interacting with me in general, in a professional and social way. Speaking same way on a date doesn’t create attraction. It gives “friend vibes”. After dates women offered be to become friends simultaneously offering to cook fo…
/r/ExRedPill22/10/25 12:17 AM
12

Sounds like you need to figure out your living situation before dating.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 04:14 PM
3

“Dating casually after divorce” sounds like something from another universe for me LOL
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 03:12 PM
-1

“You are so attractive (handsome, cool, …)!” “Yes, let’s meet this Friday”, etc. from girls
/r/ExRedPill21/10/25 03:08 PM
1

Have schedule printed and placed on the fridge a year ahead. There will be no surprises for a child.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/25 12:40 AM
1

Does he know that she doesn’t want to have sex with him?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 06:24 PM
7

If he knows that she doesn’t want him physically- he essentially rapes her. Don’t have sex with people who don’t want you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 05:40 PM
3

The value is not in motions of penis, vagina, or any other body part involved. The value is in partner choosing you, choosing to be vulnerable and trust you, being excited to share intimacy with you. Even if prostitution would be legal - it wouldn’t help you to achieve that goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 05:34 PM
2

Depends on your state. If you have real chance for 50:50 - get it. I am in California. Have 50:50 on paper, de facto child spends over 70% of time with me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/25 02:47 AM
1

You probably meant “almost 40”. I can meet women who want to settle down because they want to “think with their head”, yes. But what’s the point? I think it’s worth it only if partners feel genuine sexual attraction, and it’s not my strongest area if I am honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 06:26 AM
2

“Most men date, have sex…” simply because most men that are currently married, entered relationships when dating market was totally different - before pandemic. I was able to enter first relationship in 2010 when I was 23 years old. Would equivalent of “2010 me” enter relationship in 2025? No. Another factor is that many of these men in relationships are not sexually desired by their partners. They had some sex before children were born, and that’s it. They were used to provide and procreate, af…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 04:24 AM
6

I make significantly more than 250k but I am not rich. Median house in my city was 2.2M last time I checked. If marriage is the goal, being with someone in your income range is the only way to protect yourself from alimony and losing NW. Also I like being proud of the woman I am with. My male friends that are married to successful women certainly take pride in that. Speaking about personal qualities, both poor and rich people and everyone in between can be angels or can be awful people, income i…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 11:59 PM
45

Where did you get all that? Women can have any standard they want. I would just prefer they be honest about that instead of telling unattractive guys that problem is their “personality”. And I personally care about woman’s education and career a lot - among other things. My preference is dating someone in my income tax bracket (35% federal marginal tax rate).
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 08:28 PM
9

You were fighting for your freedom for the last 2 years. You need time to heal. What you experience is very normal, for many men desire for intimacy may come years later or not come at all.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 04:48 AM
10

It means she already cheated on you at least in her head. You have very short time frame to settle divorce on favorable terms while she is riding that emotional roller coaster and starts getting railed by next dude. Talk to a lawyer, secure custody and financials.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 02:15 AM
2

I was with you till the last sentence. His energy needs to be in securing favorable divorce outcome and building single life routine. After that - new relationships if he wants.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 11:38 PM
1

Does this mean that your children will be under your wife’s care overnight? If yes - she will have de facto 100% custody, which gives her very high chances to relocate with kids elsewhere - for example, to another state.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 03:27 AM
2

Got it. Btw, how do you “get a room” and parent two children?
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 02:50 AM
9

Finalize your divorce. Your and your children’s future is at stake. You don’t have mental energy for dating at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 02:45 AM
3

I had almost same issue, I could write it myself 3 years ago. Consulted a specialist (therapist not urologist). What helped me is taking pressure off the erection. Basically “even if my penis wouldn’t be up - I can have sex with her using my mouth, fingers, other body parts”. And guess what? When my penis didn’t have an obligation to perform, it performed perfectly. I never had ED ever again. In short: make sure that your erection doesn’t matter.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 03:31 AM
8

Be attractive. Don’t be unattractive . Be at the right place in the right time. But really, you should focus on finalising your divorce first.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 09:26 PM
1

You also can make money and… spend it on yourself, even if you don’t have a woman. There are also other motivations such as professional fulfilment or power, but not for any profession admittedly.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 03:54 AM
6

It’s much better to be alone rather than miserable in marriage. I have done both and alone is 1000 times better.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 04:50 PM
6

Facial attractiveness is more important than body fat, height, or even penis size - as long as you are about average in those or better.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 10:11 PM
33

Women say all these things and they truly believe in them. What they don’t say out loud is: they want all these things from a man they are physically attracted to. Attraction is the only thing that truly matters. Everything else is optional.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 10:09 PM
2

What culture are you from? Asking because you mentioned arranged marriage. What makes you thinking you will be successfully dating in Canada in your current age?
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 05:28 AM
9

You are not as screwed as most men here. No kids, she has a job… Yes, divorce experience is never pleasant but you are in a much better position than a guy with 3 underage kids whose SAHM wife cheated and filed for false DV restraining order to kick him out of the house.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 12:38 AM
–

No, I don’t want to date a “traditional woman”. Couldn’t care less how much woman spends on hair if it’s clean. I find long nails unattractive. My perfect date is an introverted “next door girl” who works as an engineer in tech. As a man, I also spend quite a bit on my appearance. My skincare is about $2000 a month (partially covered by insurance), my clothing budget is about 8k a year, my supplements/protein/gym budget is significant as well. Having that said, I don’t expect women to split the …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 01:47 AM
1

“These women are a minority in the grand total of women, as feminists always are. As all feminists, they’re also incredibly privileged.“ These statements are contradictory to the facts if we limit discussion to younger generations. 53% of Gen Z women self-identify as feminists. This can’t mathematically be the “minority in the grand total of women”.
/r/MensRights01/09/25 12:29 AM
0

If there are significantly more men than women on the “market”, average Joe can’t shoot above average. It’s a simple math.
/r/MensRights31/08/25 11:12 PM
-8

If woman wants to get Average Joe - she can open a dating app and choose between bunch of them. Generally, less women are interested in dating than men. In Gen Z, 28.5% of women and 10.6% of men identify as LGBTQ. Among single people over 40, 71% of women vs 42% of men aren’t looking for dating anymore. Due to these factors, there is an oversupply of men on the “market” compared to women. There is no need for average woman to settle for average man, she can shoot higher.
/r/MensRights31/08/25 10:31 PM
-20

I don’t see women complaining about not being approached other than few online bait videos. Women can complain that they can’t enter committed relationships or marry men that meet their criteria, sure. But it’s when very small percentage of men meet those criteria. Average Joe or pickup artists hitting on her on the street wouldn’t solve that. Edit: typo
/r/MensRights31/08/25 09:07 PM
-56

I think most women are happy with being bothered less.
/r/MensRights31/08/25 07:49 PM
6

Seems like your divorce is going to be easy. No kids and no assets. You are young. Get it done and enjoy your life. 99% of men here have to deal with ugly custody battles and such. There is 90% chance your wife has next man lined up by the moment she asked for divorce btw.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 09:06 AM
–

If hobby group is stable, you have a chance to hit on one woman max. Nobody wants to be the second option in the group. Also, if you go there solely to meet women it’s clearly obvious and super creepy.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 02:13 AM
10

The more she does that - the more likely she will sign a settlement agreement that meets your needs. Be aware that time isn’t on your side. Work with your lawyer fast to get this done. On an unrelated topic: can I have her phone number?
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 08:45 PM
1

Who romanticizes divorce? Never heard about that.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 03:25 AM
1

Also depends on what you mean by “dateable”. For casual sex and FWB, men couldn’t care less how many kids you have generally. So if question is “can I have fun dates” - yes, you will have zero issues.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 03:04 AM
8

I am sorry for this happening to you. Assuming what you wrote is true, your husband looks like a piece of shit. As M38 single dad, I am open to dating single mothers. But 3 kids where youngest is under a year is too much for me honestly. “Dateable” shouldn’t be a priority for next couple of years. Divorce, establishing your routine without husband, gaining employable skills should be.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 02:54 AM
12

She had next man lined up before she told you that she wants divorce. Possibly it didn’t work with him exactly as she expected. Talk to lawyers. Don’t move out. Prepare for custody battle.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/25 12:49 AM
5

Imagine society with unlimited resources. Where we solved all or almost all diseases, have unlimited quality housing, etc. This society can afford to rehabilitate criminals, support people who made bad life choices, etc. Because it’s “just money”. This society (in most cases) can’t make unattractive person attractive, can’t give sex to everyone. In fact, this society will have even more sexless men than today. So this guy’s logic when he compares incels to other groups of people doesn’t make sen…
/r/MensRights28/08/25 01:04 AM
1

Check www.levels.fyi Keep in mind that these jobs require college degrees but not super expensive one like MD. Assume that you would be L5-L6 by age 30 if all goes well.
/r/seduction16/08/25 03:13 AM
1

Not uncommon in tech. Basically every entry level tech job is 6 figures.
/r/seduction16/08/25 03:10 AM
2

Nobody is thirsting over 6’1” guys online. What really matters is your facial attributes.
/r/seduction14/08/25 01:05 AM
1

How do you look like?
/r/seduction13/08/25 05:13 PM
3

I think comment you are replying to says that even one is too much.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 03:17 PM
2

I see. Yeah, as a single dad myself I am not in the same circles nor would be considered by true childfree women.
/r/seduction10/08/25 12:04 AM
3

Which country is it? If U.S. - which region? Definitely not what I observe in SoCal.
/r/seduction09/08/25 11:47 PM
1

Are you referring to lying about your intentions? Nothing wrong with casual sex but be upfront about it, don’t sell it as a relationship or life partnership.
/r/seduction09/08/25 11:15 PM
-7

Double standard in dating is a human right violation? Seriously? Cry me a river. There are legitimate situations when human rights including men’s right are in danger. Woman not finding you attractive isn’t one of them.
/r/MensRights09/08/25 11:09 PM
-10

Again, which right is violated or at risk?
/r/MensRights09/08/25 09:53 PM
3

Foursomes at 51 - is it some kind of a swinger situation with two couples involved?
/r/seduction09/08/25 09:04 PM
29

Ideally younger. Primarily because women your age would be in hoe phase too. When you are 35 or older, women around your age are looking for a very serious relationships or marriage.
/r/seduction09/08/25 09:03 PM
-29

What it has to do with men’s rights? Nobody has “right” to have romantic relationship or sex.
/r/MensRights09/08/25 08:28 PM
-14

Not sure I understand how it’s related to men’s rights. There is no “right” for romantic relationship or sex.
/r/MensRights09/08/25 07:50 PM
1

I am not OP but let me share an example of how being safe and dependable is bad. Some time after I got married and we had a son, my wife revealed to me that she married me to take revenge on her FWB. It is essentially the reason why my only son is on this planet now. I had extremely successful career for my age and location when we met, we started dating and got married, but she never felt physical desire. She basically resented me for the fact that I was perfect husband/father on paper but I wa…
/r/ExRedPill07/08/25 09:53 PM
–

OP is about 7 years gap relationship. Should we assume that your gap is much bigger?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 07:33 AM
-1

I think you underplay your appearance. Many men in their late 30s can have very fit bodies, but don’t get a chance to be intimate with a woman for months or years. It’s not their fault, that’s just what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 05:56 AM
0

I think you underplay your appearance. Many men in their late 30s can have very fit bodies, but don’t get a chance to be intimate with a woman for months or years. It’s not their fault, that’s just what it is.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 05:55 AM
5

Rule 1 and 2.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 02:50 AM
9

Is your divorce final? Situation when attractive woman is self-sufficient and doesn’t want to ever cohabitate with you sounds like a dream for many divorced men. I have already been married. Why would I want that again? If you don’t like this woman’s terms - give her my contact. I am fine with what she proposes.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/25 02:14 AM
4

I invested over 70k in my home gym. Have a visible 6 pack when flexed.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/25 01:26 AM
8

Where do you find these women to date? How high are your standards? (Do they have job and place to live, not morbidly obese, etc.?) As a man who divorced at 33 and now 38, I feel like dating is dead in my age group, especially if you are a man and primary caregiver to a minor child.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/25 10:08 PM
11

Almost every dating app does Id verification today but they do it through appropriate vendors hopefully.
/r/MensRights25/07/25 07:04 PM
0

What did you apologize for? Why are you two divorcing? Does she try to make your life hell intentionally for some reason?
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 03:01 AM
2

Standards were in fact different 30 years ago and more. Women needed to marry men to survive, women needed to marry men to reproduce. LGBTQ community wasn’t largely accepted. Today woman can have fulfilling life without being married. She can make money, own a house, travel, have social connections, have children. She can have sex with attractive men if she wants without being married and nobody will judge her for that. She has access to thousands of men few swipes away, if she wants to have sex…
/r/seduction07/07/25 02:34 AM
-1

Any men-only or boy-only places get invaded and not allowed to exist in the current society. Look at scouts organisations. Step 1. There were Boy Scouts for boys and Girl Scouts for girls. Step 2. Girls now welcome to Boy Scouts, boys not welcome to Girl Scouts. Step 3. There are no girls-only Boy Scouts troops (!) while boys still not welcome to Girl Scouts. Approach of feminists is to 1. Invade men’s places. 2. Push women-friendly rules there 3. Push men out of these places.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 04:54 AM
21

On Bumble, you can request stats and see how many people swiped right and left on you. Regardless of how many people app showed your profile to, ratio will be accurate. You need to have at least 7% of right swipes on you to play this game. It’s also useful to accurately measure profile changes with A/B testing. Your own swipes won’t affect ratios which makes measurement accurate.
/r/seduction25/06/25 01:14 AM
9

How is that men’s rights issue?
/r/MensRights20/06/25 06:41 AM
28

She has options for relationship too. So, no, she won’t learn from it and she will be fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 06:43 AM
0

Bullshit. I (man) feel nothing for my exes. But each of them thought about their exes (before me) and told me that. Also each of them tried to get back to me years after break ups. Women don’t have “exes”, they have “possible backup options”.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 03:21 AM
3

My son would be damaged if he would see his father as a doormat. Thankfully it didn’t happen. There is nothing wrong with treating this as a business transaction from now on - respectfully but firmly.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 04:47 AM
12

She did the right thing. And you should cease any and all phone communication with her. Only text or email. She is your adversary.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 04:01 AM
40

Women will dominate every single prestigious career field? Yes. Is it because they are more hard-working? No. There are more factors including different strong peer support. Women in my prestigious career field many times admitted to me that they help coworkers that are women more. At the same time men including myself help women more because it’s good for D&I results at the end of the year - being ally counts, etc. VPs literally have a metric that shows how much they help women progress through…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 08:18 AM
2

You are technically accurate about “being the most attractive self”. But the “most attractive self” of some men isn’t enough on the market at some locations. Unless they want to drop their bar for women into drug users or obese women. I don’t think my body type is an issue (6 pack, 6’1”, 190 lbs). My wardrobe is good enough with custom shirts sewn for me in Europe and things like that. Skincare/cosmetology/dermatology budget is close to $2K/month including parts covered by insurance. Being custo…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/25 01:49 AM
7

Good for you and I am happy for you. It is something that less than 1% divorced men can have. Assuming what you say is true, you are very attractive and have excellent social skills.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 11:39 PM
7

I have things that can make me attractive to women (very good body shape, tall, successful career in company you know, talk to people for living, published book author). But I am first generation immigrant which limits my potential audience a lot, I am also custodial father which most women avoid. Actively working on fixing my appearance to improve chances though. Lots of professional skincare procedures. My orthodontist referred me to the jaw surgeon to fix asymmetry earlier this month, looking…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 07:11 PM
1

My body type shouldn’t be an issue (6-pack, 6’1”, 190 lbs). Successful career - tech leadership in company you know, speak to people for living including public speaking. But I am first generation naturalized immigrant who can’t bond with locals over things like sports. I am also attracted to women who have career and purpose beyond being a homemaker. Unfortunately most women I meet here in U.S. want to be a stay-at-home moms.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 07:06 PM
14

Why are you surprised? Average woman in her 40s can have a date with a new man every day of the week if she wants. Both hookup and/or with long-term goals if she wants. BTW if in 4 years post divorce you could have “promiscuous phase” and girlfriends you are doing better than 90% of divorced men. I am M38, divorced 5 years ago. Last time I was able to kiss a woman in 2022. At this point I am not giving up yet but heading that direction for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/25 05:51 PM
–

Most men can’t afford to have preferences like that. Most women had “hot girl summer” in my generation (I am in my 30s) and you can’t filter out majority of your target audience based on one more criteria. Especially given that you will be labeled as insecure guy by doing so.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 10:21 PM
19

“He REALLY needs me” is very unattractive. “VERY into me” isn’t attractive either.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 02:24 PM
49

Prostitution is a problem due to exploitation of real women, health risks, violence, drugs, etc. 99% of women don’t care about passport bros or porn - unless man brings this behavior to a real world. In fact, western women are happier when non-desirable men just leave them alone. It’s a dream for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/25 06:17 AM
1

Depends on your own vibe. If you are into beach, surfing, etc. - you will have success in LA. If you are no introverted tech guy - you won’t match the LA vibe.
/r/seduction21/05/25 06:55 AM
7

So they are friends with your daughter? As long as you don’t attempt to sleep with them or anything, why would anyone call you a predator?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/25 02:25 AM
1

There are things you can do beyond just being lean and buffed: Get a perfect smile (dental and orthodontics work) Get a clean skin (dermatology and cosmetology treatments) Make money to be in top 1% income wise Hire photographer Buy quality clothing, order custom-made shirts, etc. I personally went from below 2% Incoming Yes on Bumble to around 6% by doing most of these things. Well, I improved my body as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 09:14 AM
1

I was married to a woman who proclaimed that. She proclaimed (at some point after marrying me) that I was the least attractive man she had been with but the most successful so she married me but hooked up with or had FWB situations with guys of another type.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 06:37 AM
1

Too many women start sharing this unprompted. Seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 06:22 AM
8

To have expectations real, it’s probably within 10 years of your age. To go much younger, you need to be exceptionally good looking or lead with money.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/25 06:05 PM
6

It’s location specific but I see quite a few couples where man is younger in SoCal. Entire generation of men grew up obsessed with MILFs and women appreciate good stamina.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 08:17 AM
1

Can you elaborate?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 09:02 PM
1

I am not sure what definition of HVM do you use here but you certainly need good looks and strong skills to date someone 20 years younger. It’s something available to very tiny percentage of men your age. Saying this as M38 myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 07:35 AM
1

They don’t have to go for much older man. They can date/marry man their age too.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 07:17 AM
1

If we talk about women in their late 30s, they don’t compete with women in their mid 20s most of the time. Vast majority of men can date someone 10 years younger maximum. And among single women in their late 30s, many are moms.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 09:11 PM
0

Is there anything single dad can do or say to make you feel easier on this front? For example, if he divorced 5+ years ago, didn’t live with woman all that time, was primary caregiver to child all that time, he actually cooks and his house is clean, and he doesn’t want to introduce you to child first 6 months? I know that many single dads are looking for a mummy, but I don’t, and don’t know how to avoid the stigma.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 04:38 AM
1

Interesting. I totally believe you when you are talking about men. But from my experience with women, almost every woman I know is messier than me, cooks less/worse than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 04:31 AM
1

Are you 66? Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 04:29 AM
-1

Depends on the market. But on certain markets my competition is mostly like this, according to women I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 04:25 AM
1

What if man divorced 5+ years ago, didn’t live with woman all that time, has well-maintained home where it’s evident that he is able to take care of things, and was primary caregiver to a child all that time?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 04:24 AM
1

I am single dad with custody on highly competitive SoCal market, that’s why. For childless 6666 men it can be easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 03:08 AM
2

I am in California, 1.5 hours from border. But idea of dating someone living on the other side of the border doesn’t look attractive to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 03:06 AM
1

Supply and demand. There is a lot of demand for any non-obese woman including single moms, which allows them to filter out single dads. Single dads are practically undateable category.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 02:53 AM
4

This. Absolutely this. I make doctor-level income working 40-45 hours a week in different industries. Single moms go for looks first, often rejecting me and choosing better looking childless men without career.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 02:51 AM
1

For single moms it’s hard enough to navigate dating around one custody schedule. Most won’t consider single dads as they know it will be too complicated. They also know that parenting isn’t easy, children are expensive, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 02:48 AM
2

Too many parents think that their children behave better than they really do. You would learn about child’s behavior only after spending significant time with child. Too much time will be wasted at this point, it’s easier to avoid single dads altogether.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 02:33 AM
2

I only have a son who is going to be a teenager soon. But I see your point.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 02:26 AM
-2

Yes, 6 feet, 6 figures, 6 pack, 6 inches
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 02:25 AM
2

I am 38. In Orange County, California- not as bad as Bay Area but still my tech career with 400k income is nothing shocking here. Relatively social - I work with people not technology, good communication skills. I am single dad with custody, this eliminates 99% of childless women and even most single moms.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 02:09 AM
4

Because I am a single dad with custody. It will be easier for me to relate to someone in the similar situation and 99% of childless women won’t want to be stepmoms.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 01:37 AM
2

Depends on the location. But if you are anywhere near top 20 tech hubs in the country, “Senior software engineers at Microsoft” are dime a dozen. Tech is even considered a red flag these days I heard.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 01:28 AM
9

I see with my own eyes that average single moms have plenty of options. And as a man who meets 6666 requirement it’s ridiculously difficult to get into relationship with one of them. Women want immediate chemistry if you are in VHCOL area with a lot of competition.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 01:11 AM
2

It doesn’t apply even to average and slightly below average. Wall only applies to morbidly obese and women with visible deformities which is very small minority.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 12:34 AM
78

Women in their 30s with kids absolutely can date successful good looking men, and these men do propose to them. I saw it with my own eyes in my social group many time.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 12:24 AM
10

Your situation looks difficult but not hopeless. If it would be so easy for higher earners to get away from alimony and child support by just reducing income for one year many would do it. But it doesn’t work this way. Hire good litigator attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/25 02:48 AM
4

Very small percentage of men can date women 10 years younger. It’s insanely competitive: most younger women have zero interest in dating older, and those that do enjoy ultimate options. But if it works for you - I am happy for you.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/25 08:40 PM
2

I do look much younger too, but no alt vibe here. Quite opposite: I have “grounded/established” vibe instead and it’s boring I think.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/25 08:39 PM
2

Very small percentage of men can date women 10 years younger. It’s insanely competitive: most younger women have zero interest in dating older, and those that do enjoy ultimate options.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/25 08:00 PM
–

Roll-out-of-the-bed is the good point actually. Man MUST look good to be attractive but he also MUST NOT have any signs of spending significant time in front of the mirror in the morning, any improvements MUST be subtle.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 10:14 AM
–

My medical condition is related to scarring from acne and rough eczema in the past. Fillers wouldn’t help but foundation would. In many places straight man wearing a makeup won’t be socially accepted.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 09:50 AM
–

First, my skincare budget is required due to medical conditions I have. Woman with same medical conditions would just apply makeup and believe me, it’s cheaper and easier. While I have monthly procedures after which I can barely leave the house for a few days, shoot medication in me, etc. Second, compare dress options in a formal setting. Where men have to wear a suit (choice is between tie and bow tie), women can wear dresses of various forms and lengths. Men can’t wear shorts in formal setting…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 09:25 AM
–

There are WAY more socially acceptable options available to women to look better. And I am saying this as a man whose monthly skincare budget exceeds $2000 (includes medical and cosmetology treatments).
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 08:45 AM
–

There are WAY more socially acceptable options available to women to look better. And I am saying this as a man whose monthly skincare budget exceeds $2000 (includes medical and cosmetology treatments).
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 08:44 AM
1

Moving would mean losing custody. Not an option. Also I am not sure location itself is the biggest issue as I am in the county with population of over 3 million.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/25 06:32 AM
2

I am working on myself for years, yeah. Now 14% body fat, quality skincare with monthly procedures in dermatology office, etc. Plan to change my dental insurance and get Invisalign next year. With all that, being tall, and leadership position in public company you know, living in multi-million house, I would say it’s dead past the age of 35 for me. I am 38 now and it’s downhill. I objectively look better than 3-5 years ago but it feels like I don’t meet the formal “filters” strictly due to being…
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/25 06:24 AM
1

Men and women can theoretically date younger but in practice most people date around their own age. It may be location specific, but in SoCal I see enough “woman older than man” couples. Think about whole generation of younger men who grew up with MILF porn and very open to dating older women. What you are describing could be true 20 years ago but not anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/25 06:10 AM
-1

After the age of 40, 71% of single women and 42% of single men not looking for dating. Assuming number of single men is equal to number of single women, there is 2:1 ratio between single men and single women on dating market. Millions of men would like to have sex but can’t have it past age of 40, and divorce doesn’t guarantee positive outcome in this department.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/25 02:29 AM
3

Being really funny and charismatic is a key. It’s much more important than looks and status, I agree with you here.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 10:37 PM
2

I am not sure how these guys look, how much are they willing to spend money on these women, and what their standards are. Also may be it’s easier in your 50s if women don’t want to have kids anymore. But if you are in your late 30s and you are a single father, it’s dead - at least for me. Anyway, I don’t regret getting divorced as my marriage was bad in more than one way.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 10:25 PM
2

You don’t need a reason or our permission to divorce a wife. If you are unhappy in your marriage you can just do it. But remember that sex after marriage isn’t guaranteed at all, especially in your 40s. Many people unfamiliar with the current dating market overestimate their options. So, you can get yourself into court battle, lose significant time with children, and ruin financial future, but still not get any intimacy.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 10:00 PM
1

I have been skinny, bulked up, and shredded. Bulked up (23% bodyfat) gave me the best results, after that shredded, and least attractive was skinny.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 12:46 AM
5

I hear you man. The only solution for us is to get really buffed (28-30 BMI) while around 12% bodyfat. It’s incredibly hard as it’s close to bodybuilder physique.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 12:30 AM
8

Left is absolutely not 12-15% body fat. Look at love handles. He is 20-22%. And right is not single digit, it’s 10% if we are generous.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 06:49 PM
20

I am a guy who was “left”, became “right”, and it negatively impacted my dating. On the other hand, I have “round” Slavic face so I kind of have to lower bodyfat to avoid double chin and such. Doomed if you do, doomed if you don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 05:16 PM
35

She was in my league, just not my type. But definitely a beautiful woman. Possibly better looking than I at that time.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 11:53 PM
1

Most of things started after our son was born. In the jurisdiction we were at the time I would not have any custody simply because I am a man. So I had to stay if I don’t want to lose my child. We divorced years later when we were in much more father-friendly jurisdiction. Women do not face comparable challenges. Unless woman herself is very unfit parent, losing her child is almost never a risk.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 06:12 AM
1

Thank you for the kind words. Worst part is that I am severely triggered by some of the innocent things done by other women now. My ex-wife, despite all the abuse, always admired my qualities as husband and father. Before marriage, during marriage, even on divorce trial itself, and after, she admitted she could never think of better father for the child. Now, if I hear from women that I am successful/smart/good father/trustworthy/etc. I am losing any interest as it reads to me “I am choosing you…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/25 06:34 AM
1

What if you are not a virgin but for whatever reason struggle to find a partner later in life?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 09:23 PM
1

Totally possible. One of outcomes of that treatment was “no woman would ever desire me, I should be thankful that she tolerates touching me” thinking at the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 07:27 PM
1

That’s a damn good question. She was clearly sexually dissatisfied with me. And her rage was fueled by that dissatisfaction. So if I would be not a virgin before meeting her - there is higher chance she would be satisfied, and there would be no rage. All the dissatisfaction came from my lack of experience as thankfully I don’t have any physical issues (erection, size, angle are much better than average). She thought I have a lot of potential to be a good sex partner long-term. But due to my inex…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 05:55 PM
2

It’s not hijacked. Term still means “involuntary celibate”. It’s just that some people (men and women) despise those that are involuntary celibate and say that there should be something they are doing wrong, may be they are haters, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 04:57 PM
2

People share their thoughts and struggles with their close friends. It’s normal.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 04:49 PM
2

It’s normal in casual conversation with friends to say something like “I would really want to have a girlfriend or at least casual sex, unfortunately I can’t find either”. This makes person involuntary celibate (incel) by definition. Of course you shouldn’t say this to a woman you are trying to date because being unable to attract (other) women is a huge red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 04:37 PM
1

I was referring to custody first of all. Also I know well to many happily divorced women who don’t need to work for rest of their lives (even though children are out of the house) while their ex-husbands have to in order to support them both. Concept of “lifestyle she got accustomed to during marriage has to be maintained”
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 04:23 PM
2

I was a virgin at 23. My gf (later wife, later ex-wife) for years shamed me for that. I was constantly compared to “real men” with graphic descriptions, I was physically assaulted for not making sex with her the way she wanted, if we had sex I was scolded for hours afterwards, kicked, deprived of sleep, next day I got objects thrown at me (have scars on my body). Eventually I started faking ED, coming up with fake work emergencies, etc. All for not having enough sexual experience before I met he…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 03:53 PM
4

I was absolutely not insecure about it when I was virgin. Most of my male friends were virgin too so it was okay. When I met my first girlfriend (later wife, later ex-wife) at 23 shamed me for that for years. I was constantly compared to “real men” with graphic descriptions, I was physically assaulted for not making sex with her the way she wanted, if we had sex I was scolded for hours afterwards, kicked, deprived of sleep, next day I got objects thrown at me (have scars on my body). Eventually …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 03:51 PM
2

“Virgin” doesn’t imply that it’s involuntary. Also person could have sex in the past (not virgin) but can’t find new partner for whatever reason for years. Incel literally means “involuntary celibate” and nothing else.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 03:21 PM
5

On paper it’s 50/50. She doesn’t care much and son lives with me most of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 07:28 AM
3

Add this: man leaving abusing wife is likely to lose his children. Women are rewarded for relationship end - regardless of circumstances. Women also have much easier time showing themselves as victims in court system even when they are true abusers.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 07:10 AM
3

Most of abuse started after we married and had a child. She revealed to me that she married me and gave birth to my child to take revenge on her FWB who didn’t want to date her exclusively, make it official, marry her in the future, etc. Also revealed that she was never attracted to me. Closest person to me - my son - literally exists on Earth just because she wanted to take revenge on some guy my son and I never met. I find it hard to gender-flip here as I don’t know stories of men marrying som…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 06:26 AM
10

I was a virgin at 23. My gf (later wife, later ex-wife) for years shamed me for that. I was constantly compared to “real men” with graphic descriptions, I was physically assaulted for not making sex with her the way she wanted, if we had sex I was scolded for hours afterwards, kicked, deprived of sleep, next day I got objects thrown at me (have scars on my body). Eventually I started faking ED, coming up with fake work emergencies, etc. All for not having enough sexual experience before I met he…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 05:14 AM
14

Where do you recommend him to approach? I think in places where approach is acceptable attractive women are bombarded too. In this context, I am talking about cold approaches - not situations where you ask out a person whom you already know socially - as OP stated he is introverted.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 05:12 AM
1

No questions about medical school. Lawyers are very different. There are big shit lawyers and there are many thousands working for local governments and chasing ambulances. On average, even tech engineers are paid much better with better conditions. Not sure how average lawyer is impressive.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 09:36 PM
1

How are any of these jobs impressive? Civil engineer? Lawyer? Really? If anything, firefighter is more impressive job.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 08:59 PM
4

How are these jobs relevant to attraction? Also civil engineers aren’t paid much. Big shot lawyers are paid well but majority also aren’t paid well compared to the cost of law school. Surgeons make the bank, finance, and some tech guys - but the latter often lack social skills.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 06:13 PM
2

I am not sure what point you are trying to make. If you describe me based on earlier comments - yes, all that accurate except for the fact that I am 38.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 06:06 PM
5

As a director-level guy in tech company you know, it’s totally irrelevant to the dating prospects.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 05:40 PM
4

Bad advice. They are heading to divorce and custody is top priority. OP needs to establish grounds for at least 50/50 custody.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 04:10 PM
1

It’s mostly about confidence. In your head but in a good way. If going to gym gave you the confidence you needed - good for you.
/r/seduction13/04/25 09:09 PM
3

105-110 lbs isn’t average in U.S. for a woman. She is way above average even for her age group - just open apps and see body types there.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 09:06 PM
2

Nothing wrong with your preferences. If anything they are on the lower side. Please stay away from “delusion calculators” and people referring to statistics. Neither of them take into account local differences and correlations between factors (taller men make more money statistically, etc.)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/25 09:04 PM
1

Approach women that give you clear signals that they want to be approached. If she isn’t single but still gives you signals - it’s on her.
/r/seduction12/04/25 10:03 PM
4

That’s a sound advice. But how long does it generally take for you to get an opportunity like this during the night? I am not a heavy drinker, I may have may be 4-5 drinks a night total. If your opportunities are limited to these 4-5 moments it’s not a big chance to meet someone statistically.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 09:45 PM
4

I am also 38 and in shape. Dress well (hopefully). I am not seeing men striking up a conversation with women where I live. Whenever I see women in bars or similar places they are with the group of friends. Even to strike up a conversation you have to disrupt them.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 09:41 PM
3

Times were different 20 years ago when you started doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 08:25 PM
1

That’s why you don’t approach woman unless she gives you clear signs first.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 08:24 PM
3

She isn’t just sitting at that bar waiting for your comment on a drink. She is taking to her friends and to have a chance to make that comment you have to stop their conversation essentially.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 08:22 PM
8

You don’t have to be sub5 for this reaction. It’s literally a default reaction for many women, unless she actively wants to meet a man AND he meets her requirements AND she thinks he would be approved by her friends she is sitting at the bar with.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 07:41 PM
7

You have to look really good for woman to give you a chance in front of her friends. Same attraction bar as online.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 07:34 PM
6

SoCal I experienced some of it and witnessed other with my own eyes - towards other men.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 07:32 PM
24

If you are attractive enough for approaches you will do good enough on apps too. If you are unattractive, cold approach will be just pain and waste of time/money. And better ask yourself: what exactly woman would have with you that she can’t have without you? What’s in it for her? Like, really?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 09:44 AM
8

You have never had your day in court on phony accusations it seems? I did and it costed me over 60k in lawyer fees last time, thanks. It wasn’t from cold approach but it was from alleged behavior with woman, all lies.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 09:42 AM
12

Go approach women IRL. Get a response somewhere between “Ew”, “F* off”, “Not interested” (before you even open your mouth), and “Who do you think you are to bother me”. In best case scenario, “Sorry, whaaaat?” As a man in your 30s from women that are presumably in their 30s too and located in places like bars. Majority of women really don’t want majority of men to bother them. And that’s okay. Edit: almost forgot my favorite. Turning away from the man while he is introducing himself and pretendi…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 09:35 AM
5

Finalize the divorce first. Why did you leave the house? What are ages of kids and your custody goals if they are minors?
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 12:03 AM
1

I believe it’s mostly about where you want to approach. Bar/club is one thing, woman running errands or waiting for public transportation is something totally different.
/r/seduction07/04/25 09:37 PM
0

Not true. There are people (both women and men) who want to avoid emotional connection even with attractive partners, there are people who are anxious, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 08:38 AM
1

For some types of personalities (avoidant women) it’s easier to have physical intimacy rather than emotional intimacy. She would be open to have sex on her terms with men who don’t demand emotional connection. But if man meets all checkboxes and “husband material” she feels “seen” and it makes her unsafe. It’s not applicable to all women but a certain emotional attachment types.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 03:23 AM
7

Child of this age doesn’t decide where he wants to be. Court won’t take mother’s 50% away unless child is in danger with her. Since he is fed, clothed, and not physically abused - he is not in danger.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 09:25 AM
5

⁠⁠If I would go to court saying “child lives with me I don’t want to pay child support anymore” mother would start having child her legal 50% of time just to keep child support as is. Child would spend time in a home where he doesn’t want to be and where adults don’t want him to be. ⁠⁠Assume situation when dad has child 90% of time and mom has child 10% of time, but dad makes x20 of her income or more - just because mom lives with wealthy boyfriend and doesn’t have to work much. Guess who pays c…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 09:21 AM
3

Not how it works in most (all?) of U.S. states. Here parent who makes more pays even if it’s 50/50 custody.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 09:10 AM
7

It’s not neglect to the level when he isn’t fed or clothed so government would get involved. It’s not that bad. It’s just in mom’s home he won’t go for a walk (like ever), his spare time would be filled with YouTube, and he will observe mom having a revolving door of boyfriends. Or “drinking wine with [her female friends]”.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 09:08 AM
0

No, her boyfriend’s income is irrelevant. In fact if she would marry him my child support may go UP slightly. It’s because she would be in a higher tax bracket and her disposable income would technically go down.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 08:55 AM
12

⁠If I would go to court saying “child lives with me I don’t want to pay child support anymore” mother would start having child her legal 50% of time just to keep child support as is. Child would spend time in a home where he doesn’t want to be and where adults don’t want him to be. ⁠Assume situation when dad has child 90% of time and mom has child 10% of time, but dad makes x20 of her income or more - just because mom lives with wealthy boyfriend and doesn’t have to work much. Guess who pays chi…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 08:49 AM
3

If I would go to court saying “child lives with me I don’t want to pay child support anymore” mother would start having child her legal 50% of time just to keep child support as is. Child would spend time in a home where he doesn’t want to be and where adults don’t want him to be. Assume situation when dad has child 90% of time and mom has child 10% of time, but dad makes x20 of her income or more - just because mom lives with wealthy boyfriend and doesn’t have to work much. Guess who pays child…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 08:48 AM
3

Questioned what and where?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 08:43 AM
13

I am a man, have 50/50 custody on paper. De facto child’s mother isn’t much interested in raising a child and he lives with me most of the time. I still pay child support to her because my income is higher than hers. How does this make sense?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 07:48 AM
10

There is no need for child support in most cases if we’d have 50/50 custody by default. Existing child support and alimony laws originate from times when many women didn’t work outside of home.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 07:37 AM
3

Talk to attorney, rules depend on the jurisdiction. In my state (California) - yes, you would expect to pay for 2.5 years generally.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/25 05:59 PM
27

I have been settled for. Worst experience in my life. Never again.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 07:00 PM
1

What do you mean by “without prejudice and judgmental bias” here? Do you have kids? Kids affect your dating prospects a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 08:44 AM
8

It’s definitely a positive for me and my son. Financially and mentally we are much better. Dating is non-existent if you are custodial single dad without family support, but it’s still worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 12:45 AM
7

As a man, I heard many times from women “I want A” and even more times “my friend struggles to find a boyfriend/husband that would be A”. And in both cases they or their friend dates B who is exact opposite while there are plenty of A available around.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 07:45 PM
8

You played the cards right it seems: she is most likely to sign papers you want while she is cheating and has butterflies. I really hope your agreement/judgment is air tight so she couldn’t set it aside - and you should have used good lawyer for that.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 03:51 PM
2

You change the requirements of the problem on the fly. That’s not how it works. You listed the problem above, you listed 11 damn points. Stuck to them please and don’t randomly bend them to get responses you want.
/r/MensRights02/03/25 09:34 AM
2

Re-read your point 5. You say we don’t live together until children grown up and moved out. What responsibility?
/r/MensRights02/03/25 09:30 AM
18

If I would be childless I wouldn’t do it. But overall it seems like FWB situation if we don’t live together. Would some guys be okay with having single mothers as FWB? Totally possible. Also I don’t understand point 10. How can I be responsible for some children if I don’t live with them, they aren’t my children, and they have two involved parents?
/r/MensRights02/03/25 09:12 AM
2

Yeah, I see a generational difference here. No judgement but I wouldn’t hit on a person that is paid to smile to me like waiter or barista. Agree with your point in general though.
/r/MensRights27/02/25 10:21 PM
2

Where do you meet them? Asking for a friend :) I am 38, have my shit together, and already done with divorce.
/r/MensRights27/02/25 10:12 PM
1

Tell me about that - I make around 400k. But the situation (wrt number of women making the same as man) already changes dramatically for younger generations where women are majority of college graduates.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 03:49 PM
6

Key issue society is going to face is finding employment for people after AI replaces more and more jobs. If people don’t reproduce it needs to be celebrated, it’s a good thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 09:56 AM
0

Escort doesn’t solve anything because it’s not a person who chooses to touch you. She either doesn’t care about you or hates you. Plus it’s illegal to hire escort in many jurisdictions, associated with high risks for both partners, there are activities that sane person will never do with escort, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 06:20 AM
13

People that call for women to decenter men also call for indefinite decentering. So it’s indefinite in both cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 06:18 AM
3

I agree with most of what you are saying. Men in fact need to fulfill their social needs through platonic relationships, with men and women. There will be no pussy charity. Women choose not to be with men they don’t find attractive, and they have right for that. Where I disagree with you is promotion of sex work. Visiting a prostitute doesn’t solve anything because it’s not a woman that genuinely wants to have sex with you - she either doesn’t care or hates you.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 06:17 AM
0

You won’t die without physical touch. So it’s not a need, it’s something you may want though. Well, there are many things we want but aren’t entitled to. Desire for physical touch (not sex) can be fulfilled with close family members such as siblings, close friends, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 05:46 AM
7

You will die from lack of food or untreated health issues. So these are necessities. Being able to get a pussy isn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 05:44 AM
4

You don’t have to mate in order to have social life.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 05:43 AM
8

Women hate what??? If man isn’t attractive, women are rather happy that he won’t bother them, he doesn’t exist for them as a potential candidate to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 05:20 AM
3

You are getting older. I would say caring less about sex may be the variant of the norm. And it seems like medically you are fine?
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 02:18 AM
2

Agree. But to keep peace, quiet, freedom you not only should avoid marriage - you also need to avoid cohabitation.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 12:15 AM
1

I think it may be okay financially if you marry woman who makes same amount as you. Never marry woman who makes substantially less or has lower future income potential.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 11:27 PM
2

Why did you move out? It’s the worst mistake man can make in a divorce. Forget about assets for a second, what are your custody goals?
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/25 04:34 AM
1

You know divorce is inevitable. You primary goal now should be establishing evidence that you are primary or equal caregiver to children. After that you will speak to attorney and make sure she pays you alimony and child support due to income disparities, even if custody will be 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/25 08:54 PM
21

I would prefer to be single for rest of my life. My ex tried to crawl back and request was denied.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 04:53 AM
2

Women often complain about their exes saying that they didn’t treat them well, or mention previous hookups who obviously got everything they wanted without putting any effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/02/25 07:06 AM
19

r/ihavesex
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 10:59 AM
10

Possibly for a very short period after separation when she needs validation. Shortly after her requirements are typically through the roof - the man she meets would have to be better than her ex in every way and ready to commit before she would sleep with him. At least that’s what I see. And at least for my ex and her friends the validation period involved guys strictly 10+ years younger.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 07:15 AM
2

What’s “normal”? Average, median? Are bots included?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 10:31 PM
5

Stats that say “40% are obese” are based purely on BMI and don’t take body fat percentage into account. Body builder is considered “obese” by these standards despite having a clear 6-pack. So, the “Gen Z bodybuilders” mentioned in the message you replied to are part of “40% obese” group.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 05:46 PM
1

Not sure what your question is. Yes, it’s normal to want romantic relationship. Can you realistically have one with the woman that you are attracted to, today? If you can get dates (from OLD, social circle, meeting someone in the bar or whatever works for you) and these are women you find attractive - go for it. If you can’t and you need to work on yourself first - well, you have to do it first.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 08:17 AM
6

Baristas are green flag while tech is red flag??? How does it make any sense? Sex work, anything with night shifts, major body contact with men (think massage professionals), anything with very high status men (top 0.01% like business jet flight attendants, personal assistant to billionaire, lawyer for celebrities, etc) are red flags for me. Any introverted professions like engineers are green flags.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 02:44 AM
6

Is there anything that mom is supposed to do to kids and dad is not supposed to (or supposed less of), in your mind? Outside of giving the birth and breastfeeding.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 10:30 PM
3

How much time do you spend with children today? Make sure it’s at least 50% and offer help for taking kids more. Disconnect your buttons, you have no control over who she is dating.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 08:16 PM
5

Unfortunately it’s the standard. We’ve all been there.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 08:14 AM
1

For most people, being fat is an issue they can solve. You can’t change your age, height, facial attractiveness, some health attributes. But barring extraordinary circumstances weight is controllable.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 05:22 PM
1

At what age go you think women in NYC stop getting interest from men? Unless woman is obese it’s something hard to imagine.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 04:41 PM
1

Why would it suck for you as a woman? There are no such thing as a wall for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 04:14 PM
0

“Couple trying” would mean both are trying. Situation when one of them is trying is more often.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 09:11 PM
1

Why do you think he doesn’t have enough socializing? Yes, he has extracurriculars (out of school, not at schools). What is socialization you expect for pre-teen kid beyond school, extracurriculars, and play dates, if he doesn’t have siblings? And no, he plays minimal amount of video games if any. Speaking about close friends, I am first-generation immigrant and everyone I knew in first 30 years of my life are across the ocean. Around 33 I got divorced and most married men I knew were prohibited …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/25 09:10 PM
2

Because I want to love and be loved.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 08:48 PM
1

It’s even worse with the gym as I have my own home gym, very fancy :) No sports or interest in sports beyond personal fitness. And I legitimately like it this way. I was married and I was “forced” into activities with people I didn’t like during marriage. One of key benefits of divorce for me is that I don’t have to do it anymore. One child no siblings. He has friends at school and play dates with children we met in parks etc. But overall he likes to hangout at home too. May be more than other t…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 08:43 PM
9

Okay? I can and do treat people with dignity and respect, improve my appearance, constantly learn skills, but I can’t and don’t really want to change my personality into being less of a straight line in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 10:52 AM
8

Can you elaborate on “[men] fail so badly without women”? I definitely don’t fail by any objective metric (outside of dating).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 10:29 AM
19

Define “exiting and passionate”. I am very passionate about raising my child, doing things around the house, building my body in gym, doing the work that is intellectually challenging and benefits society, I am published book author and generally successful person. I am boring in a sense that I don’t want drama, don’t want arguments, don’t care about seasonal decorations or seasonal holidays, and hate spontaneous decisions such as travel. I work with people for living and have strong interperson…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 10:20 AM
50

Women shouldn’t settle with “nice” and boring guys they aren’t attracted to begin with. But if we’re talking about existing marriage it’s more complicated topic. It’s very common for divorced women who divorced their boring husbands (with no abuse/cheating from husband involved) to date around for some time and later try to come back to their boring ex-husbands. I am boring ex-husband who denied such comeback and literally every boring ex-husband I know had their ex-wife reaching out to them, so…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/25 09:59 AM
2

31 at the time
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 07:06 AM
2

Same. My ex had an affair with 19 years old and I don’t blame kids in situation like this.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 05:32 AM
3

No. I am thankful for him because ex had butterflies in her stomach and signed agreement that is amazing for me. He was also a teenager and I don’t blame horny kids as an adult.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 05:32 AM
4

Make sure you are equally or more involved parent: doctor appointments, extracurriculars, day-to-day chores, and everything else. If possible make sure that wife’s income grows.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 07:33 AM
11

Copying my another comment: When I was young I thought that being safe choice is cool and was said safe choice. After getting married and having a child I was told that she was never attracted to me and married me to take a revenge on what you call “risky choice”. Today I am very safe choice (top 2% earner, generally mature/successful) and my biggest worry is to be a safe choice again. It basically prevents me from getting into meaningful relationships for 5 years after divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 06:43 AM
9

Being dumped/ghosted doesn’t worry me as it’s part of life and honestly I wasn’t dumped/ghosted much. Since very young age it was clear that I have decent prospects while being respectful and not an asshole or anything like that - so I guess it’s hard for women to self-justify dumping me. I am also not bad looking today - I get compliments and was even approached by random women in the park or other places. Being 6’2” and muscular helps, I also pay for professional skin services and such. But I …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 05:10 AM
7

I am good looking and charming enough to have dates, but I am not THAT good looking and charming.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 04:57 AM
23

It’s not fear of failure, I am 100% okay with rejection. Problem is that I will be told that she likes me, we will get serious, and some time later (possibly years later) she will tell me that it was all lies from day one.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 03:59 AM
16

I have been safe choice and it is absolutely a backup option.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 02:59 AM
47

When I was young I thought that being safe choice is cool and was said safe choice. After getting married and having a child I was told that she was never attracted to me and married me to take a revenge on what you call “risky choice”. Today I am very safe choice (top 2% earner, generally mature/successful) and my biggest worry is to be a safe choice again. It basically prevents me from getting into meaningful relationships for 5 years after divorce.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 01:58 AM
–

Some women compare their husband to their previous partners during arguments with husbands - just to make it painful for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 04:53 PM
–

Even if you don’t ask, some women compare their husband to their previous partners during arguments with husbands - just to make it painful for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/25 04:50 PM
2

Your 401k is marital asset, she will get half of it unless you agree otherwise - for example, you get 401k and she gets a house, etc. I know kids are almost adults but do you think she will fight against 50/50 custody?
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 06:40 AM
4

She can date whoever she wants. The more she dates the better are your chances for having decent divorce settlement. You need to act fast though as this “butterflies in her stomach” situation is temporary. Find good litigator divorce attorney now. And obviously don’t “date” her - or anyone else - until you have all legal matters settled.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/25 10:36 PM
3

If woman doesn’t want (or can’t) have (more) children - her standards are now even higher as she won’t tolerate bs she could tolerate when she was younger. If you are a man, you have to be better than any man she dated prior - more interesting, more successful, hotter, etc. If having kids isn’t the goal, woman would prefer to stay single rather than be with a man who doesn’t meet her needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/25 06:56 AM
1

Do you have children?
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/25 01:38 AM
1

Custody is most important part. How do you plan to deal with it? Her staying and you moving out gives her an upper hand, be careful.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 08:48 PM
2

Seek legal counsel advice. She can move out where she wants as long as child stays with you. Yes, it is in your interest. Make sure she can’t say that you threatened her or anything, ideally have texts or other evidence that it was solely her decision to move out and leave child with you. IANAL
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/25 03:55 AM
7

Therapy. Dating shouldn’t be a validation mechanism. Also prioritize spending time with your children that you decided to bring into this world first.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/24 01:24 AM
4

Neutral, yes. I focus on my (our) son and she has 5th live-in boyfriend in last few years. She never attended a single doctor appointment or parent-teacher conference and it works for all parties involved.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 09:17 AM
1

Does she work? Does she make about the same as you do?
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 02:20 AM
1

Make sure you finalize divorce and build routine with your children (day-to-day things, holidays, etc.) before you consider dating.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 01:25 AM
-1

False. During discovery you will be asked to show financial documents going back 5 or more years.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/24 04:12 PM
-2

Bad advice. During discovery phase it will be found and investigated.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/24 05:56 AM
9

But he is also in a much worse starting position than Cinderella. He is 40 years old loser. Cinderella is cute to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 07:33 AM
4

40-Year-Old Virgin movie
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/24 07:21 AM
11

Your son needs father. Also 58k in Austin is very low for IT.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/24 03:51 AM
2

Can you date men that don’t want kids?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 05:57 PM
13

There is no such thing as wall of 40 for women. Woman in her 40s who lists her age on the app continues to get tons of likes. But as a man who will be 40 in 2 years, I expect this to be serious problem. Women my age group prefer to date men younger based on my observations, and I am not interested in dating women who are 10 years older than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 05:53 PM
1

Is there anything single father can do early on (for example in dating app profile) to indicate that he isn’t looking for second mother of his child? I am just saying “Dad to 11 y.o. son, divorce final years ago, no drama.”
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 09:42 AM
2

I agree with you that being stepparent is not in person’s best interest. I do not agree with your gendered description of single fathers. I am single father for almost 5 years, my son de facto spends 70% of time with me - despite 50/50 custody on paper. I have reasons to believe I am an excellent father based on how I helped my child to improve psychologically and succeed in sports and academically. His mother never participated in parent-child conference or went to doctor appointment in these 5…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 09:28 AM
0

I specifically meant divorced men with children because I assumed that most divorced people have children. Are you saying reasonable woman would prefer man who have children over man who doesn’t? To deal with children she didn’t give birth to, have drama with his ex, scheduling limits, inability to go on vacation with her partner when it works best for them, likely have expectations on parenting these children, lose contact with these children if they break up, and have her man giving money mont…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 08:59 AM
1

It’s an absolute dealbreaker. Vast majority of single moms won’t date single dads because nobody wants more complications with ex drama, custody scheduling issues, and limits on relocation. Women who don’t have children won’t date children dads by definition.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 08:56 AM
3

They can dream… nice hopium.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 08:20 AM
2

Lol no. Nobody is chasing older divorced guy. This guy would also likely have children and it is biggest red flag women can imagine. Source: I am successful divorced man.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 08:20 AM
19

Define “older”. Woman may prefer men who are 2-5 years older, especially if men her age don’t want relationship and want only casual/FWB. But negligible percentage of women will look for men 10+ years older.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 07:58 AM
6

No need for incel talking points. In my early 20s I was extremely high achiever for my age and location- think 0.01% on the local market, with extremely good prospects. I got married and had a child. Only after that was I told that she married me because she wanted to take revenge on FWB who didn’t want to get serious with her - gang-associated nightclub bouncer. So, my son and I were just NPCs in that game. It’s one thing to be cheated on, another thing is to realise that what you thought was a…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 01:46 AM
10

We both know that being high achiever, mentally and financially stable is less important than having social skills and being attractive. But ideally you need all of it of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 01:31 AM
18

Because women will prefer to be single rather than be with man they are not attracted to. They also will be happier alone rather than with average man.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/24 01:20 AM
3

Age of children? If they are 7 or older, week on week off is okay and easier for everyone. If her address is a residence, what do you get in return? It’s negotiation, get more overnights than her in return to that favor.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/24 05:40 AM
–

Not how it works. Modern feminists I know will still expect you to pay for everything. Because of historical oppression by patriarchy and other reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 06:14 AM
4

Seems like there are some marital assets but your core priority is custody. How about using these assets to fund your side of the custody battle? Also, what is the reason for divorce - is infidelity involved? Is she dating? If she is dating she may become more agreeable.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 07:15 AM
1

What “other men”? Mother’s boyfriends or random dudes on the street? What is “disciplining”? Is physical abuse involved?
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 06:38 AM
1

If she makes more than you, you will likely be entitled to alimony. Do you include this in calculations of what you can afford? SAHMs stay in houses every day despite having zero income of their own, solely based on SS and CS.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 11:36 PM
2

If there are no DV accusations- what would be the reason that you leave and not her?
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 11:16 PM
1

How did she get that order? DV accusations?
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 11:10 PM
2

Had numbers in hand before we physically separated (don’t move out without court orders finalizing divorce!). Also, I stayed where we lived as a family and ex-wife moved out.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 11:07 PM
2

I used tretinoin and it did its job. It dries skin a lot but dryness is also a solved problem. Microneedling is exactly the procedure I was referring to above, but I am yet to see results. Unfortunately all dermatology treatments take a lot of time and I will likely be in my 40s when I would become date-worthy. Anyway, working on your appearance is still beneficial - if not for dating, it would help in career/business.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/24 07:30 PM
2

I generally agree with you that men should work on themselves. Just having abs doesn’t solve it if you have other issues though. I am M37, have mild 6-pack (185 lbs, 6’1.5”, 14% bf), full head of hair, and decent career, live in 1.7M home. At the same time, I have skin issues for decades. This year I use 5 products a day prescribed by dermatologist and spend $500-1000 a month on medical cosmetology procedures to reduce scars. Objectively, I need to continue this journey before I would have any s…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/24 07:17 PM
9

Very small percentage of single older men can date significantly younger (7+ years younger). These men will be desirable for both women their age or younger women. Vast majority of people date around their own age. There is no reason for woman to go for significantly older man if man 25+ would already have career and is better looking/more active than his older competitor.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/24 09:33 AM
3

Almost never. But I see a lot of couples where both are educated, man makes solid money while woman makes almost nothing - either in the field that doesn’t pay well or stays at home.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/24 12:23 AM
2

If men your age don’t date you, do you date men younger, older, or don’t date at all?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/24 07:42 AM
4

How did you learn that you are denied volunteering? Can you send that person an email “today we met… and you said… please confirm if this is accurate to avoid any misunderstandings”
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/24 06:25 AM
10

IANAL. As a first step I would ask school to put their position in writing (in email).
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/24 05:54 AM
1

Not how it works. If you are custodial single father, it is immediate red flag for most women - despite the fact that you have clear evidence of parental involvement.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 07:38 PM
8

Looks like this guy helped you a lot. You may even buy his some beer if you want:)
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 03:32 AM
1

So she is still in college? You may consider waiting till she graduates or pull the trigger earlier… weigh pros and cons. But generally it would be most beneficial to you if she works.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/24 06:12 AM
1

Cause is typically not worth the fight unless in your state it affects alimony. If she has degree best prep would be to ensure that she uses it - gets a job that pays well.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/24 06:00 AM
1

Do you have children? Make sure she works and makes as much as possible. This will affect alimony calculations and child support if you have children.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/24 05:52 AM
2

It’s unclear whose day with child is tomorrow. If it is your day and you want to spend that day with her - just do it. Daycare isn’t mandatory for 3 year old. Even if child is perfectly healthy you can decide to spend time with her and not send her to daycare.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 09:40 AM
-4

Are you sure you are not mixing what is cause and what is result?
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 03:34 AM
6

It’s from men’s divorce forum. It had lots of solid info like this. Unfortunately it had technical issues for years and now unavailable.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 03:11 AM
8

Being married doesn’t mean people were happy, especially in older generations. My grandfather outlived my grandmother by about 7 years and they were married for more than 45 years. His last wish was not to be buried near “that woman”.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 09:11 AM
3

Some of the women I am referring to date men 10-15 years younger, yes. I wouldn’t personally do it but seems like this arrangement works for both sides in their case.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/24 05:17 AM
11

Looking at women I know, they have zero issues dating men up until age of 50 at least, and these men (including men younger than them) offer rings. Being a single mother isn’t an issue. Only requirement is that these women aren’t fat.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/24 09:42 PM
3

It depends on wife. I am good at dating your wife too.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/24 03:56 AM
3

Confidence, experience, smooth talking, the way he handles himself, the way he touches (for example her hand), the way he escalates, the way he kisses. Topic of sex and what person likes/dislikes often comes up before the sex itself, at least it was like that for me always.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 09:16 PM
3

I was married to one for example, originally found her on dating site (pre-Tinder era). Of course I didn’t know this when I got married. But after marriage and after our child was born, she revealed that the reason why she married me was because she wanted to take a revenge on a guy who didn’t want to become official with her and only kept her as FWB - and that she wasn’t really attracted to me physically but I had great career prospects and qualifications for being a great dad. Which I actually…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 09:05 PM
3

I was originally replying to this comment: “What kind of women find a guy who has lots of casual sex attractive?” Of course she may not know the exact number. But she knows that he has been around or if he is a virgin. And if he has qualities that attract women, the fact that he had sex with more women in the past won’t be major dealbreaker.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 09:00 PM
2

I didn’t say that women have sex with that many men, that’s wasn’t the argument. But every woman I discussed her past with said that she had a phase where she had at least 1-2 of these guys, typically in early 20s. Guys like this are rare but they exist. And it proves that man’s body count by itself isn’t an absolute red flag for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 08:56 PM
2

Imagine there is a guy that had casual sex with 50 women. Before he had sex with 50th woman, he had sex with 49 women but 50th woman still found him attractive. Now continue same logic: when he had sex 48 women, there was 49th woman that found him attractive etc. So, overall he is the living proof that at least 10 women find guys with 40+ body count attractive. Also, he is the living proof that at least 20 women find guys with 30+ body count attractive. And I bet he can attract next women way ea…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 08:49 PM
2

For every guy who had casual sex with 50 women, there are at least 10 women who found man who had casual sex with 40 women attractive. It’s just math.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/24 08:24 PM
3

Worst advice possible. Do not move out unless you want to lose everything.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 08:20 PM
2

Who would you discuss this with IRL and why?
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 09:01 PM
4

Your grandson if old enough to decide if he wants to talk to you or not. Do you have good relationship with him?
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 08:10 AM
23

If you believe that “upcoming version of America” is inherently unsafe for women, it seems like you two deserve each other.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 04:13 AM
4

Keep your expectations low. Apps is basically the only vehicle unless you have strong social circle and/or good at bar/club game.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 01:10 AM
2

Does she work? If you want a divorce, it’s in your best interest to ensure that she works and makes as much as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 07:56 AM
1

What do you mean by “kicked me out” - there was restraining order in place? Otherwise you kicked yourself out yourself and there is nobody else to blame.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 03:07 AM
1

Any proceedings pending? Unless everything (custody and all financials) is decided and signed by the judge, focus on that first before dating.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 08:17 PM
2

What’s the status of your divorce? If it is final - how long ago?
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 06:17 PM
11

Move back to the marital home unless you want to lose everything. Prepare for divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 05:48 AM
4

You just moved out of the house - why? You just indicated that you are not interested in custody of your children. You made the biggest mistake man can do doing divorce. Fix it asap by moving back to marital residence. And of course STBX is on good terms with you. She is about to get everything she may ever dream about.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 05:36 AM
7

Wrong sub. Go to dating apps instead.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 07:27 AM
2

Not in favor of single father if differently. If school or doctor’s office has contact of two parents they always call mother first if something happens. On the dating market, single mothers have it more difficult than childless women, but being custodial single father is a death sentence. Women see it as a red flag and the moment they hear that your child lives with they are gone.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 08:22 PM
3

Don’t think it’s very healthy honestly. Try to stop giving a fuck about her. It is business transaction now.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 09:35 PM
6

I am a single father and I love my son. Of course being a single parent is preferable to me over childfree life.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:29 PM
5

Did you discuss the situation with your son? How is he? Do you have an agreement outlining financial arrangements signed by the judge? Without that one your STBX will have no motivation to ever finalize divorce as she already has you out.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 07:58 AM
11

Depends on circumstances. My cheating ex-wife won’t get any help from me.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 01:21 AM
7

Make sure you are equally involved or more involved parent of your child. Make sure she works, ideally making same as you or more. Avoid anything that can be interpreted as risky behavior or violence.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 03:00 AM
18

Seems like you believe that less financially contributing partner should get less money in divorce? Could you please promote this viewpoint on general divorce subreddits full of women such as r/divorce LOL
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 08:53 PM
3

Get 50% in writing and signed by judge first. Move out after that.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 04:17 AM
3

Have some self-respect. Focus on getting the most custody and best financial outcome of divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 02:28 AM
6

Prepare for divorce. Make sure you are equally or more involved parent and make sure that she works, ideally making same money as you or more.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 11:51 PM
15

She mentally checked out and found next candidate. Do you have children?
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 11:38 PM
4

Use the time to establish best position for divorce. Ensure that you are equally (or more) involved parent, she works and has decent income, etc. But keep in mind that since she mentioned divorce she already has next candidate lined up.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 06:12 PM
7

What was the reason for divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 09:16 PM
3

The parenting work with teenagers isn’t something you’d drop on step-parent is it? Teenagers can go to/from school, don’t require babysitting, etc. You still have to make sure they succeed academically and dedicate time into building a relationship with them, but it can’t be dropped on your partner anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 03:01 PM
2

It was few decades ago I assume? These days I see women in their 40s saying men 10+ years younger, but not the other way around. It’s a status symbol where I live. And if woman wants to remarry she can do it. On the other hand, divorce for a man likely means he can forget about dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 02:28 AM
3

If person raised a child for years themselves, and one day they start living with girlfriend/boyfriend - how would it be expected to suddenly drop part of your parenting responsibilities on a new partner? At the same time, I appreciate your response. Practically speaking, it’s just easier to put dating on hold until child is an adult and out of the house. Because even if you don’t want to put any extra responsibilities on your partner, potential partners assume that you do and there is not much …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 02:19 AM
1

How does “dating single dad” equate to “sign up to be someone’s mother”? I am 37 years old single dad of 11 years old. I wouldn’t introduce girlfriend to my child during first 6 months. If we move in together, my child would already be a teenager. And as a person who raised this child alone for years, I went through more challenging ages alone, don’t expect woman to take any child-related responsibilities. There are other downsides to dating single dad: he would need to live in the area that giv…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 01:54 AM
3

In California, it’s the other direction. It’s a status symbol for woman in her 40s to have a boyfriend 10+ years younger. I know few of these couples. Don’t know any couples where man is significantly older than woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 12:56 AM
11

r/ihavesex
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 12:47 AM
-1

Women have value by themselves. Men have value only if they provide. Welcome to society.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 12:34 AM
8

I don’t know what you mean by nice lifestyle. If you are travelling on private jets it may make you interesting and desirable. But if you are just a guy living in a nice house with 6-pack and 6’2” height it’s not enough to overcome the fact that you have a child. There are enough similar guys around just without kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 12:31 AM
8

You have to be exceptionally attractive to date average women in their early 20s if you are a single dad. It’s not within realm of possibility for majority of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 12:26 AM
7

How old are you? I am wondering why these women in their 20s choose to date you. They have same or even more options than women in their 30s, and you being a father is undesirable traits for both groups. I am 37 years old single dad of 11 years old, and realistically women in their 20s are out of my league. Where would I even meet them? We aren’t in the same social circles and on dating apps they filter someone like me out.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 12:19 AM
16

Women in their 20s don’t mind single dads? Not what I observe. Why would woman in her 20s want to work around someone’s children schedule when they have plenty of more desirable suitors.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 12:12 AM
8

Any person would prefer to date someone without kids if they have a choice. Nobody wants to have their partner’s time, attention and money spent elsewhere, nobody wants to work around the children schedule, etc. Women have the choice men often don’t as their value on the market is much higher. As a single dad myself, I understand you but it’s safe to assume that 80% of women won’t even remotely consider dating someone like you or me. This is especially true for women who are attractive and have …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 12:07 AM
13

As a single dad, I wouldn’t even introduce gf to my child for first 6 months. And parenting responsibilities are out of question, child is almost a teenager in my case and most of heavy lifting is already done.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/24 12:01 AM
9

Have a trial date set. The risk of judge deciding your fate makes people more agreeable, lots of agreements are made on courthouse steps. Great job on staying in family home and having 50/50. Temporary orders often become final orders. You are on the right track.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 03:41 AM
1

Divorced over 4 years ago. Single dad raising a son - he is with me most of the time but still have to coparent with her unfortunately. What happened is also my fault partially: she was my first girlfriend - so, I didn’t have experience to see what’s right and what’s wrong. On the other hand, it now constitutes 100% of my long-term relationships with women by age of 37. I tried to get into relationship with other women later but a thought “She appears to like me, but why should I believe her? Is…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 10:05 PM
1

Do they go there because they have dead bedroom or because they want someone more physically attractive than their wives? It means they don’t have attractive woman willing to be with them voluntarily, so still meets my definition above.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 09:53 PM
13

As a man, I really don’t understand the point of hiring a prostitute. Bribing something to be with me? It’s like signing off that I could never find any woman who would willing to be with me. It’s as loser action as it gets. Prostitute doesn’t care about you and most likely secretly hates you. It’s better to just help yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 08:23 AM
3

How long have it been since you got this home? Does she just need a bit of time? Great job on not having girlfriends over or cohabiting at this time. That would severely complicate things.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 08:09 AM
1

I was married to a woman for whom second was her best (hint: it wasn’t me). And she made sure to remind me about that if we had an argument. As well as remind me that she married just me to take revenge over him and “show him”.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 07:03 AM
1

Simple arithmetic. Most women have few partners before late 20s. Some will be better, some will be worse. Your first partner may be best, or your last, or anyone in between. If you meet woman who has N partners before you, there is 1/(N+1) chance you are the best one.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 06:37 AM
2

Her friends won’t drill anything. The will support her and tell her she will find one much better.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 03:18 AM
0

It’s statistically unlikely that you would be best lover of the woman if you met in your late 20s or later.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 03:16 AM
5

Having you out of the house greatly benefits her. What are you getting in return for this? Does agreement secure 50/50 custody and financial terms that you are okay with?
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 11:24 PM
1

For example, this is something some women reveal to their boyfriends or husbands during an argument. Also look at this stand up comedy by a woman: https://youtu.be/whxbQkJuqAE?si=PQIVNHMgQZ6fvrsX
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 04:39 PM
2

For example, this is something some women reveal to their boyfriends or husbands during an argument. Also look at this stand up comedy by a woman: https://youtu.be/whxbQkJuqAE?si=PQIVNHMgQZ6fvrsX
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/24 04:22 PM
1

Are children at school? Lock the school district they should be enrolled in.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 08:27 PM
6

Only if you want to have children - women are unlikely to have children with you otherwise. Other than that, no point. But even in this case have low expectations and understand that nothing motivates her to have dignity and respect for you. You are likely to lose a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 05:00 PM
3

Prepare for divorce. Only after you will be prepared pull the trigger. Make sure you can show that you are equally involved parent (important for 50/50 custody) and STBX works, preferably making close to the same money you are making or more. Who paid for the trip? Did she make you pay for the vacation she had with her boyfriend? And you feel the guilt after that? For real?
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 03:03 AM
11

If neither of you can buy the other out - house will need to be sold. End of story.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 04:48 AM
7

She doesn’t care about child and you. She is mentally or physically banging new man now.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 03:38 AM
9

Focus on outcome of your divorce, make sure you get best possible custody and financial result. It will define rest of your life.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 09:33 PM
1

50/50 custody is most important, everything else is secondary. Why do you even consider falling on your sword leaving her and child in the house and going to “shared accommodation” yourself?
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 07:22 PM
14

I have been settled for in the past. This eventually led to divorce. I am never getting into this type of relationship (where I am settled for) again.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/24 02:17 AM
1

When she moved out - did she take a child with her? Did you fight it right then and there? She can go where she wants but child remains in family home as long as until one of parents is there.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 10:00 PM
1

What do you mean by “home is not ours”? Even if it’s rental, it’s still marital home. Why do expect that it would take a year to reach an agreement and enter judgment? But even if it would be a long time, you can do it. I did it and many other men did. Otherwise you will have the devastating divorce outcome and it will define rest of your life.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 09:43 PM
5

Do Not Move Out. By doing this you will indicate to court that you are okay with child being with mother. Your STBX will also get everything she wants (CS, SS, child, home, and no you) and will not have any motivation to finalize divorce in a foreseeable future.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 09:13 PM
8

I consider my story a success. I spend lots of quality time with my son (on paper there is 50/50 custody, de facto STBX isn’t very interested and son lives with me most of the time). Son stopped wetting his bed right after mother left the home, stopped grinding his teeth a week later, he is calm happy child now. Also very successful in certain subjects. He was 7 when I divorced, 11 today. I switched jobs to work from home and advance career in general, achieved all the mid-term dreams I had in t…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 04:22 PM
3

Before filing for divorce or discussing divorce with STBX further: Hire good litigator attorney. If at all possible make sure she works. Document that you were primary parent since birth of twins. Photo, video, texts where she admits it, etc. Do not move out!
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 03:36 PM
6

Hire litigator attorney ASAP. Do not move out of the house. Do you have any children?
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 03:09 PM
1

After that, she can go on dates with them as often as she chooses to. And if there any red flags, there will always be line of replacements ready to go. This doesn’t go away till 50s at least.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 05:55 AM
6

She cheated and blames you for that? Classic. Talk to attorney. Don’t take any advice from your adversary (STBX). Don’t move out.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 03:29 AM
3

If you will attempt to take her back it will be waste of time/resources and she will lose last drops of respect for you if there is any left, which will eventually result in further conflict. Focus on achieving best divorce outcomes possible.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 01:55 AM
1

Can you imagine how many likes per hour women in their 40s get on dating apps? How many of them are from guys in their 20s? It’s a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 01:46 AM
16

It’s a blessing that she is dating around: you have very narrow window of opportunity to sign agreement with her on a favorable terms when she does that. Not because court cares about her dating, but because her focus is elsewhere. Don’t show any emotions, retain good lawyer, make sure you secure 50% or more custody and favorable financial terms. Outcome of divorce will define rest of your life.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 01:44 AM
3

I see. As a fellow single dad: it may be necessary to adjust the expectations still. It will not be tons of women lining up to date single fathers when they have other options. Rightfully so.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 01:10 AM
3

6 weeks isn’t that long for a man, especially if you couldn’t date some days due to parenting responsibilities. You may need to adjust expectations.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 12:47 AM
3

You have young kids. How young? Is your divorce final (if you were married)? Last year you “saw quite a few women, and it went well” which is very good result, probably above average. What changed? Overall situation doesn’t become easier as we age. How long since you were on a date?
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 11:42 PM
1

Because is person lied or cheated and for some reason (for example due to counseling) their partner forgives them, liar/cheater will lose any and all respect if they have left any for their partner.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 07:40 AM
3

Discuss with attorney. They may be able to respond by saying that question isn’t in scope of lawsuit or something like that. Reason she asks about where you store files is because she doesn’t want you to come up with some new evidence in the middle of the trial. For example, you’d want to show some photo. You will be asked where this photo was. You will say on USB drive (for example) and her attorney will say “no, you previously said that all your files are on hard drive. You can’t show any comp…
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 03:52 AM
5

Depends on the situation. If infidelity or lies are involved it’s waste of time for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/24 01:45 AM
1

Is it even possible to agree on such buyout at this point if divorce is final? “15k buyout” must be in court orders, otherwise you will be on the hook for the full amount
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 11:15 PM
1

Did you check the section I referenced above?
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 11:08 PM
1

I worked with very experienced divorce lawyer who didn’t know this clause. It’s possible that she and/or her lawyer are under the impression that 10% applies to her. Having that said, you should avoid giving her legal advice as you are already divorced. Encourage her to talk to her lawyer about this.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 11:07 PM
2

10% penalty isn’t applicable to her. Check 72(t)(2)(C) in Internal Revenue Code. IANAL.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 10:32 PM
3

Big items that theoretically could be sold are assigned value and split like any other assets, so that each will end up with 50% of total net worth. Small items didn’t have much value in my case. They were ikea level or lower, so however was moving out eventually could pick what they wanted. My ex moved out and took whatever she wanted. It wasn’t much.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 04:01 AM
10

Do not move out. Your assets are shared unless you have a prenup, you are entitled to half of assets/debts and she is going to pay alimony. Do you have any children?
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 07:56 PM
3

You do what you want on your time, religion-wise. She does what she wants. Your divorce is final, there is no reason to do what your ex wants unless it’s in court orders. My ex goes to church, I am an atheist and very open about that with my son. If ex would ever raise topic of religion with me, response would be “God doesn’t exist”. P.S. I have some Jewish heritage - not a lot, but on mother/grand-mother/great-grandmother side which technically meets the definition. Edit: you mentioned calling/…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 06:09 AM
3

Finalize the divorce first and foremost, as its outcome will decide rest of your life.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 01:53 AM
4

Do Not Move Out. By moving out you will clearly indicate to the court that you are okay with child living with his mother and not interested in custody yourself. You will also start paying support, your STBX will get everything she wants (home, your money, child, and no you) and will have no reason to finalize the divorce,
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 01:20 AM
2

What is the current situation? If you have temporary orders they typically become final orders. You need to ensure that you have 50/50 throughout the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 09:27 PM
9

Why are the only options to “live with her struggling family” or reconcile? How about 50/50 custody or primary custody to you if circumstances justify so?
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 07:43 PM
8

It feels like you forgot the /s
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 05:53 PM
20

First, there is very good chance you just haven’t found about her infidelity yet. Second, outcome of divorce will decide rest of your life. And if she is dating someone it significantly improves chances she will agree to settlement favourable to you. During that very short period of time when she starts new relationship is your best opportunity. Use it.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 05:45 PM
8

Casual dating is Iess likely as people get older. As 37 years old male, it looks to me that after 30 women look for serious relationships 99% of the time.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 02:19 AM
3

That’s great that you are honest about your intentions. Who are these women you are dating? How old are they, and where do you meet them?
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 02:18 AM
4

First question is: are grandparents in the same state? I am pretty sure you can’t take children out of California even for a day after divorce is filed - unless there is different court order of course.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 06:45 AM
5

It’s a question for your attorney. It’s not merely about “going against wishes” but about doing what’s legal. Overall, what are your custody goals? Do you expect your STBX to agree to 50/50? If I would have to avoid taking my children to overnights with grandparents temporarily, in order to keep things calm and have 50/50 - I would personally do it.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 06:20 AM
2

May be generational difference. I will assume based on 25th anniversary that you are about 20 years older than me. In my generation Russian women use the same Instagram as everyone else :)
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen27/09/24 01:50 AM
1

Does that agreement address other aspects (custody, CS, SS)? If yes, she will have a high burden of proof to set aside (cancel) the judgement. But it is still possible- for example, if she will prove that you hide some assets or misrepresented some material facts before she entered the agreement. I am not a lawyer, discuss with attorney for details. If she just makes threats of going to court I would personally ignore them until served. Make sure that all communication with her is in writing.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 08:11 PM
2

Did your ex wife sign anything at all during all these? Edit: were you represented by an attorney? Was she?
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 07:44 PM
4

What exactly do you mean by “default”? Did she sign an agreement or did she just fail to respond to you serving the papers? I had a notarized agreement that my ex tried to set aside (cancel), we went to trial for that and she lost. Also California.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 06:51 PM
1

Make sure your divorce is final first. Legally your dating doesn’t change anything, but you lose focus on the battle of your life. In addition to that, your STBX will be vindictive and will less likely agree to 50/50 custody. Talk to your friends or family if you just want someone to talk to.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 07:21 AM
9

I am glad it worked out for you, but I know way too many Eastern European women who divorced soon after getting green cards.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen23/09/24 03:14 PM
2

Do you have an attorney? They have special app for that and it’s not available for free. It will take an attorney about 5 minutes to do this math. Are you working on making sure she will gain employment? Does she have a degree? Make sure her income is imputed.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 12:08 AM
2

Hidden pen cam may help in case of any abuse allegations. But it will be either difficult or impossible to use it to show that she was okay with 50/50 if she changes her mind for example.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 10:06 PM
6

Keep it over text/email, don’t meet in person. But if she agrees to 50/50 and financial deal is reasonable there is no reason to take her to trial. Sign it and get it over with.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/24 07:51 PM
29

Some of these comments are in line with what we see on this sub regularly. But some are genuinely surprising to me, especially about men allegedly going for much younger women. They claim that men in their late 50s regularly date women 20 years younger. It’s not a thing in my experience, rarely women in their 30s date much older men.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen22/09/24 02:24 AM
2

Generally speaking, when you move out, you significantly reduce chance to get 50/50 or primary custody, start paying CS/SS, continue paying rent/mortgage. Your STBX gets everything (kids, your money, no you) and has zero motivation to finalize the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 01:52 AM
3

It’s not about what she wants. Having that said, why are you moving out? Do you have children? How do incomes compare between you and your wife?
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/24 12:10 AM
2

I didn’t have any contact with her parents in years. Even if they would have health issues or die I don’t expect to establish a contact. If you don’t talk to her mom isn’t it weird to start talking 2 weeks before death?
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 06:51 PM
1

You aren’t “free” to move. If you put your actions where your words are, you will postpone move by 15 years. Otherwise, she will be calling different man a “dad” soon enough.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 08:54 PM
1

There are many factors and depends on location. If you will be able to show that you were primary caregiver that’s good. But she has her own ammo: she can call cops and say you threatened her. Cops will throw you out from the apartment with just a phone and toothbrush, you will start paying CS and she will temporarily get 100% custody. This will drag through the system for months during which she will establish a status quo of being primary parent. She will have apartment you pay for, CS you pay…
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 11:50 PM
2

It’s unlikely court will listen to it. It’s mainly to reduce chance of false domestic violence allegations that she is going to make leading to you being kicked out from home by police.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 10:45 PM
1

Buy digital audio recorder and keep it running on you 24/7. “Phone ready” isn’t enough.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 09:49 PM
2

Do. Not. Move. Out. It is the worst thing you can do and clearly indication to the court that you are okay with child staying with mother.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 09:27 PM
3

This is totally normal retainer for California. Do you think your STBX would be okay with 50/50 custody? If she is currently dating someone it doesn’t matter for the court but increasing the chance she will be okay with 50/50 herself. How old is the child? If you go into custody battle, it can easily be 6-digit amount for each party.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 06:48 PM
3

Women claim they don’t want to be like their mothers, but always end up to be like them.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/24 05:30 PM
1

Of course we don’t owe a relationship. I am saying that if you are primary parent, “getting in their pants a few times” will be affected by your scheduling, and living situation will be different from someone who doesn’t have children. So, I don’t know how it’s possible to not share this fact.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 04:39 PM
1

Do your children live with you? Doesn’t is objectively influence dating life (scheduling etc.) so woman with options can go with someone who doesn’t have these limitations?
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 05:29 AM
2

What’s your custody situation? If you’re primary parent, not telling about your child won’t take you far.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 04:32 AM
5

Since you don’t have children, it should be manageable. Not good, but okay.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 03:44 AM
4

I am in top 2% income for California, it doesn’t matter much for dating in 2024. The fact that you don’t have kids is a plus for dating, big plus. What matters most is looks.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 03:15 AM
2

Where do kids live now and with whom? Who takes them to doctor appointments, feeds them, puts them to bed, etc.? It is what’s absolutely critical for your case. Make sure you are de facto primary parent first, after that your chances to get primary custody will be real. And what exactly do you mean by “full custody”? Like, zero overnights for her? It will be incredibly high bar to meet.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 07:19 AM
2

Taking control of your life is good. How about having at least 50% custody of children you have with that woman? Do you love your children? They count on you.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/24 01:27 AM
3

Both parents stay where you are right now. “Easy plane ride away” isn’t parenting, it is abandoning your child. Shoot for at least 50/50 custody. Your son counts on you. If she wants to move - she is free to, child stays with you. Source: divorced shortly after my son turned 7, my son spends most of the time with me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 10:01 PM
1

Talk to your wife and convince her to move to VA as a family. Establish a residence there for a year before talking about divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 06:02 AM
4

«Moving to VA” before or after divorce? Establish yourself as primary or equal parent first of all.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/24 07:27 PM
4

Sorry to hear that. Do what you can to have trial date scheduled ASAP, this should motivate her. Also, never start negotiations in the middle.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 01:45 AM
2

Can you give up on that money but get something else instead? Do you have kids and if yes - what is custody situation?
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/24 03:42 PM
1

Where does child go when parents work? Daycare, nanny, relatives? It’s all about establishing that you are primary or equal contact for them.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 05:14 PM
2

Appointments, illnesses, parent-teacher conferences, sport events, trips, etc. Meals aren’t necessary to document. What is age of the child? 2 years old and 15 years old are different stories
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 04:16 PM
4

Does she work? Age of the child? You need to ensure she works and document how you are involved father who handles at least 50% of parenting responsibilities.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 06:32 AM
12

STBX dated during divorce and before (a.k.a. cheated) - it is best thing that happened to me because she lost focus and I got everything I could ever dream about and slightly more.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/24 04:14 AM
1

Why would you “separate from kids”? You don’t plan to have less than 50% custody do you?
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 05:46 AM
5

It may make sense if STBX would get a job, kids go to childcare, and to establish 50/50 parental responsibilities status quo. Just sitting on your butt for 2 years is counterproductive of course.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 06:35 AM
6

Ensure that she has a job. And ensure that you split parental responsibilities 50/50 at least. Or more for you. Attend every parent-teacher conference, every doctor appointment, every sport event, you got the idea. And don’t just attend - schedule it, be the main participant and main caregiver.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 06:31 AM
1

Divorce is something that defines rest of your life and life of your children if you have them. Higher priority than dating for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 06:25 PM
4

Make sure your divorce is finalized first, it’s a priority. Overall, dating is very difficult for men these days, and being divorced and/or single father is considered a huge red flag on top.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 04:16 AM
17

As an engineer who divorced around 8 years mark and ended alimony early due to her cohabitation, I feel like I got on a last chopper out of Saigon. It’s horrifying to imagine what would happen if I would wait for couple more years. California.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 10:49 PM
3

33, married for 7
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 09:31 PM
23

Not true. Christianity does not require circumcision. Galatians 5:2-6
/r/MensRights30/06/24 08:02 AM
12

It’s wrong solution. Person of any gender should have a way out from relationship. What really needs to be addressed is alimony for the fully-bodied adult.
/r/MensRights14/06/24 12:05 AM
3

Trust is not a silver bullet if you want to protect your employment income from alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 05:14 AM
2

Modern perception for both in Wikipedia: “Feminist separatism is the theory that feminist opposition to patriarchy can be achieved through women's separation from men. Much of the theorizing is based in lesbian feminism. Author Marilyn Frye describes feminist separatism as "separation of various sorts or modes from men and from institutions, relationships, roles and activities that are male-defined, male-dominated, and operating for the benefit of males and the maintenance of male privilege – th…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 12:55 AM
3

That’s fine. But will documents be prepared by a lawyer? Will alimony topic be addressed there? Be careful, if you give her zero alimony, she is in school, and she won’t be represented by an attorney when documents are signed - she may be able to set aside (cancel) the judgment.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 05:01 AM
3

IANAL. Finalize sale of the house before divorce is final. You will be on the hook for alimony if she is still in school, and that’s how she will afford her rent.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 04:11 AM
12

Most important part is to be honest about your intentions. And as 37 years old myself, I am not sure what in common would I have with woman 10+ years younger and why would she be with a man 10+ years older.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 03:59 PM
1

That’s not OP’s scenario. OP wasn’t talking about guys who already have nice car and nice house anyway. He was talking about someone who pretends to be like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 01:21 AM
1

Spending money on renting very expensive car + expensive hotel to just slightly improve your chances of getting laid is stupidity.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 08:09 PM
1

If woman assumes OP is rich and this is what she is looking for, she would want to go to his place. OP’s idea makes no sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 05:17 AM
5

Car won’t help. In 99% of cases woman you see in a bar doesn’t know which car you arrived in. Also, where will you take woman to? Your apartment or multimillion dollars mansion that matches the car? Last but not least, your attractiveness matters more than anything for ONS, your skills come second. Neither you can buy or rent.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 11:52 PM
0

What makes you thinking that retaking will happen?
/r/MensRights04/06/24 10:15 PM
1

Serial monogamy will still be with women who had flings, right? And you won’t have children this way most likely?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 07:26 PM
2

Like you have that choice… :) if you are slightly above average, your real choice is between average woman that had flings or no woman at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/24 06:07 PM
1

Depends on state. Nothing is automatic for me in California.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 04:04 PM
1

Discovery is part of litigation. Nothing in OP’s post indicates he has active court proceedings.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 07:40 AM
12

Are your daughters living with you? If not - do you understand that STBX is establishing status quo of getting primary custody? What are you going to do about that?
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 06:11 AM
–

Man having no experiences by age of 22 will be considered a red flag, while for woman it won’t be that much of a red flag if any. So, women will be able to recover from it while men won’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 07:23 PM
1

Are you going through divorce right now? Do you have children and fight for custody? Do you actually have time for meaningful relationship today? How?
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 07:20 AM
1

She wasn’t very charitable but honestly I am not very charitable either - assuming you are talking about donating money and volunteering. We rather aligned there. I later met women who were charitable and we didn’t align. I wouldn’t say there was anything in particular I missed. My mistake was that I trusted. For example, on early relationship stages I explicitly asked about possible “hoe phase” (using different words) and she denied it. It’s not because it’s wrong but because I wouldn’t align w…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 05:05 AM
2

I was madly in love and she didn’t show massive red flags (similar age/education to me, no addictions, no mental illnesses, reasonable family). Also, she was my first girlfriend and first person from opposite gender who showed any kind of affection to me. I was 23 when we met.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 04:55 AM
1

Is there a way to choose woman who will be loyal? I learned that my wife-at-the-time married me and gave birth to my son only to take revenge over her ex-boyfriend - and I learned that when my son was around 2. Eventually, years later, she cheated with some random teenager and I divorced her.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/24 04:36 AM
3

My W-2 last year was 320k. This year I hope to be above 350k. On top of that, I have very generous benefits like almost free medical/dental, 401k match without income percentages limits, etc. I don’t pay any alimony. I can only dream about home ownership.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 01:35 AM
3

Great job man! It’s totally random but does 40k matter much if you’re talking about country club house? I assume you are talking about 4-5M range so it’s about 1%. Anyway, great job on building the desirable lifestyle!
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 01:05 AM
4

I am 37 as well, can get a date once every 4-6 months if I work hard on that. No house on the golf course for me (live in apartment - median house is 2.3M here which I don’t have) and de facto primary custody of my son are important contributing factors to this.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/24 12:14 AM
–

Absolutely. My point is that bar isn’t a place where you can meet women in 2024 either.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 04:29 AM
–

Even if everything you said is accurate: Why would it bother women? Don’t women have tons of options online?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 03:54 AM
–

AFAIK women at bars are almost always “in the middle of something”.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 03:47 AM
–

Which men does this spook away though? Men who don’t care about women’s safety will continue to approach. Men who previously approached politely, in well-lit public places around other people, understand that “no means no”, try to not make people uncomfortable, have career to lose (don’t want bad publicity) - just stop approaching because they are told they are scarier than bear and they believe it. So, they stop approaching.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/24 03:32 AM
11

It is sexy, but situation could have changed slightly since 1993. More women make decent money themselves, compared to 30 years ago.
/r/MensRights28/05/24 07:28 AM
1

Are you and your STBX reasonable? If yes - you can negotiate at the dining table for free. If not - make sure you have trial date set before going into mediation, otherwise it will be loss of time and money.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 03:30 AM
–

What’s wrong with having high standards if they are able to find what they are looking for?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 11:47 PM
–

Which website shows you “percentage of men/women in the U.S. that fit your criteria”? Those that are posted in this sub prior (delusions calculators) are awful as they don’t take into account correlation between metrics. For example, taller men are more likely to have higher income.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/24 11:28 PM
10

Attitude and lack of respect.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 11:00 PM
11

Sounds like your friend is wannabe rapist? He can’t talk on behalf of all men but he would rape a woman if he would meet her in the woods.
/r/MensRights23/05/24 09:36 PM
3

Well, if you wouldn’t care at all about that woman, you wouldn’t post. She would be like any other resident of the building. It is not the case and it is normal - we are all humans and she is your ex-wife.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 12:31 AM
3

If at all possible, I would avoid that. No need to see boyfriends/girlfriends of each other, better to avoid drama.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 12:07 AM
0

May be, but likely no. Depends on court orders.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 04:11 AM
1

She knows the drill with child support and alimony it seems.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/24 12:21 AM
3

Divorce after you get your wife to work first.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 09:34 PM
3

Therapist charges less per hour than your lawyer. Venting in email to someone who will charge you $500/hour for reading this isn’t productive. All your communication with lawyer must be actionable.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 08:11 AM
3

Finalize the divorce first. If your STBX is fucking everyone and everything - good for you, she is more likely to sign agreement you want her to sign, or miss something preparing for court hearings.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 02:04 AM
1

She wasn’t your problem even before that… other than alimony obligations.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 11:54 PM
1

Are you celebrating because it stops alimony?
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 09:50 PM
1

My ex kept my last name. My last name sounds better in English and changing documents would be a real pain because she is foreign citizen.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 04:36 AM
1

Great job on having and enforcing 50/50 man! Sorry to hear about what you are going through.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 02:04 AM
3

I don’t know about you, but for me sex with a woman I have feelings for always was x1000 better than sex without feelings. Not nearly same ballpark.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 11:29 PM
7

You aren’t even divorced yet. Where would you find emotional resources for a relationship with another woman. It’s good idea to focus on outcome of divorce first. Any children involved? Even if there are no children, financial outcome will define rest of your life.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 09:10 PM
1

If you were just sitting for a year while she had 100% de facto custody (custody is measured in overnights) - I am sorry man, but a lot of damage is already done, and she isn’t the only person to blame as you handed everything on a silver plate to her. If you actually filed emergency motions to get 50/50 custody around the time when you moved out - that’s a different story.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 07:13 PM
1

Damn… and what did happen during that year? Do you have any custody orders?
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 05:03 AM
2

Talk to attorney about possibly to move back to a family residence. How much time passed since you moved out?
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 04:35 AM
1

It is worst mistake man can make in divorce - moving out. It signals insignificance of custody for him - to the court and older children. Also, she has no incentive to finalize divorce now. She has house, kids, your money, and no you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 04:15 AM
3

How old are children? It sounds like you don’t live together - who moved out? Any restraining order involved?
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 08:04 AM
1

Why did you move out? Did she have restraining order against you?
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/24 02:30 AM
1

If 5-10% of women may consider dating older and about 50% of men may consider dating younger, these women can pick crème de la crème.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 07:54 AM
21

Women aren’t generally interested in men who are 5 or more years older. It is a common cope that “as a man in his 30s-40s I will be able to date women in their 20s”. No, you won’t - unless you were very attractive in your 20s AND managed to become successful AND still look good. Not applicable to 99% more of redditors.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 02:23 AM
14

You have very little time window to settle divorce on a good terms while she is in the affair fog. Do not waste this chance. Keep yourself busy with research and ensure you set rest of your life for the maximum possible success given the circumstances. You are up for a battle of your lifetime. While your adversary is in affair you act.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/24 02:15 AM
1

So, the logic is: she may or may not make false DV claims to kick you out of the house. So, to protect from them you would proactively kick yourself out? “Someone may hit me if I go to the dangerous place at night. So, let me punch myself with a hummer in advance and come there already bleeding?”
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 08:02 PM
4

Do not move out. Consult other attorneys. By moving out you signal that you are willing to give primary custody to your STBX and give her incentive to drag this divorce forever. It is giant red flag for attorney. I am not a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/24 08:26 AM
14

IANAL. Prenup helps if you have significant pre-marital assets and want to protect them. If you are man in his 20s-30s who is middle class or lower, it won’t help much. Biggest risks are custody (can’t be addressed by prenup), CS (same), SS, assets split. Better find a woman in the same tax bracket as yourself or avoid marriage altogether (recommended).
/r/MensRights07/05/24 06:01 AM
5

Why do you care? That’s way more important question.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 05:43 AM
2

What is the current situation? Do you live under the same roof as your children today? State? Do you have well-written parenting journal? Do you go to all doctor appointments and teacher meetings?
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 07:24 AM
1

Great job on 50/50!
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 06:22 AM
1

You didn’t mention most important thing that is supposed to be in her offer: custody.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 06:14 AM
11

Is it possible that she wants a lump sum because she expects to remarry soon, and remarrying would stop alimony?
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 05:33 AM
1

Unfortunately, some people admit to committing rape, and still get zero jail time - instead they get money from the rape victim. Example: https://www.wbtv.com/2023/03/02/no-jail-time-woman-who-admitted-having-sex-with-13-year-old-having-his-baby/
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 06:40 AM
–

“To find someone to have family with” is indeed achievable goal for majority of men who are in their 30s and above today. But: Some of them marry women who were never attracted to them to begin with. For example, women who married them to show their value to their exes who didn’t propose marriage (take revenge). Ask me how I know. Less and less women will marry men who they are not attracted to. Simply because woman doesn’t need a man who she isn’t attracted to - it wasn’t the case 40 years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/24 05:43 AM
11

It was discussed multiple times on this sub
/r/MensRights01/05/24 04:52 AM
5

Save this money and celebrate only when divorce will be over. You are not there yet and situation may change.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 04:00 PM
1

Presumption of “no spousal support for able-bodied adults” would motivate people to get useful degrees/skills to begin with. Presumption of “spousal support is there to maintain standard of living” demotivates people from investing their efforts in careers.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 01:30 AM
1

Why can’t your daughter have education and be equal partner with her husband? Why would she be in a situation when “he makes all the money” to begin with? Spousal support may be limited to situations when spouse is disabled for example, but this would be limited set of use cases.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/24 12:45 AM
1

What if one spouse decided to not pursue career or apply efforts? My ex didn’t apply reasonable efforts to find higher paying job despite having multiple university degrees including Masters in engineering.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 09:57 PM
3

How long did your children live away from you? In court’s eyes, if it was long enough, she established a status quo of being a primary parent. And you seemingly were okay with it. If you believe your children aren’t safe with your wife - you would have ensured that children are with you while she is “having space” (riding ducks) at her sister’s home. I am playing devil’s advocate here, but I bet it will be some of her arguments. IANAL.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 06:59 AM
6

Lying is immoral. As long as you are open about your intentions you are good.
/r/MensRights23/04/24 07:56 PM
1

I don’t think wall is real. Woman in her 40s with money has as many people attracted to her as mid-size celebrity man.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 05:59 AM
1

Where do you meet them? And what is age group or women?
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/24 05:24 AM
6

This kind of lie is a major turn off for women AFAIK Edit: grammar
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 07:18 AM
4

It’s not beneficial to date single parent (either gender). Parents have tough schedules, limited in traveling, limited in where they can live, more likely than non-parents have drama with ex, spend financial resources on children, etc. Women get lots of sexual attention, especially online. So, they can afford to pick and choose based on specific criteria including “not a single dad”. Men have tough time with getting dates in general and can’t afford to filter much.
/r/MensRights18/04/24 12:42 AM
6

Your age will be shown front and center over your first photo still, correct?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/24 12:29 AM
7

Where would they even meet? Online woman in her 20s will filter out guys 10+ years older for sure. In real life they are unlikely in the same circles.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 09:44 PM
2

What makes you thinking it will end better than previous marriage? What makes you thinking she won’t become b*tch next day after wedding or getting pregnant or the day baby will be born?
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 06:00 AM
1

My ex-wife got together with 23 years old when she was 32. So, I understand you in that part. But I would not move away from my children. Not an option I would even consider, ever. It’s just weird thought in my books, goes against the whole point of life. Especially if you have 50/50 custody. Your children need you.
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 07:34 AM
1

Historically, many couples met through friends/family/church rather than cold approaches. It doesn’t mean that you should date your friends, but you can ask them to introduce you to someone. Are you friends with any women?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/24 08:52 AM
9

I can’t imagine a situation where anyone from my family with get in contact with my ex. But if they would I would cut ties with them, and they know it I believe. Only situation when I expect to get in the room with ex is major children events like graduation and may be medical appointments. I didn’t exchange a single word with my ex-in-laws since the day of separation and don’t ever expect to. So, overall good and drama-free.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 05:08 AM
17

Look at her friends. Clubbing? Hard pass. Look at her mother. She will become just like her eventually. Make sure being with you doesn’t improve her financial lifestyle. Important to ensure she is with you for right reasons. Mutual attraction without doubts. Being able to talk like adult, find solutions, agree or disagree politely. Same views on money, religion, spending time, children. No mental illness history or addiction history. Same level of energy as you, generally speaking.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 01:44 AM
5

There were no issues on these sides, but she still cheated and we divorced. How about looking for woman who is genuinely attracted to you without any doubts? Also make sure that being with you doesn’t improve her financial lifestyle- otherwise she can be with you for wrong reasons.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 01:36 AM
1

And you didn’t mess erect vs flaccid numbers did you? They are very different obviously.
/r/MensRights22/02/24 12:31 AM
1

As much as I would want this to be true, it sounds like a revenge fantasy. Any woman with a pulse can go on Tinder and get hundreds of options in a day. Let’s be real.
/r/MensRights21/02/24 04:48 AM
1

Compare your numbers to actual research https://calcsd.info and find if you are below average or not. Good chance you are average or above, just have unrealistic expectations from porn or something else.
/r/MensRights18/02/24 12:39 AM
1

Highly doubt it would help regular individual. Unless you have specific investments you never intent to touch. I am not a lawyer. Are you talking about irrevocable trust?
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 03:40 AM
6

Without more descriptive language, this post looks like spam.
/r/MensRights14/02/24 03:30 PM
2

I am very involved single dad, stable cool-sounding job in a well-known company, healthy/fit, decent professional success… Yes, being in “good man” category is a main issue. Not looking into having more children or marriage. Don’t want to lead her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 10:13 PM
2

OP, the problem in my 30s is that women want to get married and have children, preferably very fast. Is it better in your 40s? How do you navigate that?
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 09:24 PM
1

lol, tell me about that. She even tried to cancel (set aside) judgement in my case.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 02:24 AM
2

Got rid of social media altogether, except Reddit and LinkedIn.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 08:46 PM
12

No, “I am sorry I hurt your feelings”. But most important part for me is that she apologized only when she wanted to gain some benefit.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 07:53 PM
15

There was some half-ass apology on two occasions: 1. After I caught her cheating with refugee teenager. 2. Years after divorce after she was dumped by few men and tried to come back to me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 06:20 PM
15

I know it feels bad, but as long as she is seeing him you have better chance to finalize divorce on better terms. You have tight window of opportunity, use it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 05:32 AM
1

Sorry to hear that man. What does “I wouldn’t even be looking for a new job” mean then?
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 06:07 AM
2

Why did you move out? Did she get a TRO?
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 03:28 AM
5

What do you mean by “kicked”? Unless there is court order that says otherwise, change locks back. IANAL
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 07:38 AM
3

You have long road ahead of you and you need to focus on the best outcome in terms of custody/assets/ss/cs. She is your adversary.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 01:33 AM
2

It is a stage many men go through. Is your divorce final?
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 10:32 PM
3

Start here: https://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?t=13374 You absolutely need an attorney and the best one. Going without attorney will be even more expensive.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 08:53 PM
6

Do. Not. Move. Out. https://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=81622
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 02:27 AM
2

Who will own that land? What will happen when she will decide to move her boyfriend in while you are in that RV? What will happen when either of you decides to move away - either while kids are young or after kids grow up? Custody is measured in overnights. How do you plan to have 50% custody in RV? If children will live in the house 100% of nights - it means she is de-facto primary parent which will make it easy for her to move away to another state. What will happen when she will get TRO again…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 01:42 AM
3

Most guys have very hard time to get laid, especially if they already have kids which is seen as massive reg flag by women. I am not sure what exactly you complain about.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 09:03 PM
7

I cut all and every communication with her family. They did nothing bad to me though other than rasing her. “Friends” continued communication with her and sometimes invited her to their houses (know that from a child). Given that this happened during the court trial - I cut all communication with them as well. Rule of thumb: there should be no person other than your children and professionals (teachers, doctors, lawyers) who communicate with both you and ex.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 08:46 AM
2

Only religion-related thing was that after divorce she dated two men at the same time, and one of them was her pastor’s son. He was kept for long-term relationship and introduced her to the family, while another dude stayed the night. Know this from my son who witnessed this.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 05:08 PM
15

I initiated because I caught her cheating. It’s a line that can’t be crossed in my opinion. Does this count?
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 10:26 PM
8

He can very well live where he lives right now. There are no stated reasons to believe he should be the one moving out.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 11:33 PM
2

Start preparing for divorce. Doesn’t mean you have to file immediately but start your research of possible outcomes for your situation.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 11:31 PM
3

Without children it is even easier: 1. You don’t have to communicate with ex anymore. 2. You are not single dad which makes dating much easier (scheduling, etc.)
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 07:52 AM
3

Is your divorce final? Are you mentally over it? You are looking for meeting new person(s) and having fun/relationship instead of taking revenge over your ex? Can you do that not jeopardizing your parental responsibilities? If answers are “yes” - go ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 07:25 AM
2

It’s unlikely that woman would agree to have kids without marriage. And some men want to be fathers.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 08:57 PM
7

Even if you get married elsewhere and move to the U.S. later, divorce will be handled in U.S. Ask me how I know.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 08:54 PM
4

Why are you discussing this with your ex? Post your profile for review on r/Tinder
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 04:00 PM
10

She has someone. Find a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 02:17 AM
5

Absolutely no. Divorced almost 4 years ago and can’t imagine being married ever again.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 01:32 AM
9

Who has visitation and who has custody? Stop caring about what she posts, stop reading it unless required to collect evidence for court proceedings.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 07:28 AM
3

M36 and my 10 years old son spends most of his time with me. Honestly, after demanding job, gym, errands, child’s activities I don’t have much time left. I try to do my best to crave out time for dating but not always successful in having time for that.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/24 05:55 AM
3

Why are you the one moving out? Read this: https://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=81622
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/24 10:52 AM
6

“Friends” don’t file for orders like this to begin with.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 09:09 PM
15

You just took the word of your adversary in the lawsuit that you shouldn’t go to court? Do you hear yourself?
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 08:01 PM
12

Wait, you didn’t bother to go to court for the restraining order hearing? Because of PTO? Really?
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 07:09 PM
12

I filed after caught her cheating. It was important for me psychologically that I was the one initiating divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 01:25 AM
5

Do not move out!!! Read this: https://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=81622
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 07:39 PM
303

He pays child support for his minor children, not child she is pregnant with. It is not mentioned in your post, hence clarifying.
/r/MensRights03/01/24 10:14 PM
5

I have been there, I understand how you feel. But you will handle it, as many other men did. It will be over.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 11:51 PM
3

I am not a lawyer. I would get all the court orders for child support, but wouldn’t spend too much time/money on collecting it if she doesn’t have money. Instead, would ensure the debt grows and would hold it over her head.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 08:07 AM
2

It is in your interest to have trial date set. Nothing will make the other side more agreeable than anticipation of some random person (judge) deciding her fate. More likely than not you will sign last minute settlement hour or minutes before trial start. I am not a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 11:27 PM
7

This. OP, if she cheated you have very limited time (between couple of weeks and couple of months) to have favorable settlement signed by judge. Act fast!!!
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 06:38 AM
2

This. I got an amazing deal only because STBX was busy banging guys 10-12 years younger (and she was in her early 30s). It is one in a lifetime opportunity to secure a deal.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 11:28 PM
2

My ex-wife didn’t even change her own name - kept my last name. I would prefer her to change, but whatever. I don’t think a parent can unilaterally change child’s name, confirm with attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 07:42 PM
1

M36 here. I believe you have realistic chances to get married (in a marriage that will produce kids) as a man by 40, and have kids in early 40s latest. There is no reason for woman in her 30s to go for decade older men, 40 is often a line where they cut. Woman in her 30s is smart enough to understand that she doesn’t need person much older to live rest of the life with, if she can be with someone her age - and men her age are already established.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 07:53 AM
1

She may technically move to another country without permission from U.S. court.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 07:53 PM
1

St Lucia didn’t sign Hague Convention. I am not a lawyer, but it looks like he has zero chance to get kids back if she flies. https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/International-Parental-Child-Abduction/International-Parental-Child-Abduction-Country-Information/SaintLucia.html Do children have passports of either country? If yes - who has possession of passports?
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 07:37 PM
1

Which country is wife from? Your cousin need a lawyer ASAP. Wife may move to another country without telling him, and keep kids there. He will get no access to kids and it may be impossible to get kids from another country.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 07:33 PM
1

Question was “what did YOU gain” not “what will average person gain”. So, I spoke for myself. I was 32 when filed for divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 09:00 PM
2

I wasn’t there, but I believe you are overthinking the situation.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 02:35 AM
3

Don’t care about them. You don’t even communicate/approach other people - it’s not their business what you are doing. There are many reasons why person can be by themselves (business trip, SO went to see elderly parents/children/grandchildren, etc.)
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 11:47 PM
3

Ignore. She can’t do this indefinitely for obvious reasons.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 06:01 AM
9

Is your divorce final? How long ago? Do you have children? If divorce is final and no children involved- it’s not your business at all.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 10:01 AM
3

7 comes if last few years of married life were miserable. They were miserable for me, so #7 came naturally.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 12:19 AM
12

Freedom to organize my home and my time the way I want. No person in my life that is generally dissatisfied with everything including my presence. Better environment for my son as he spends most of the time with me and away from person mentioned above. Best sex of my life - I couldn’t even imagine it could be that satisfying. Not spending my money and mental capacity on things I or my child doesn’t need. Better financial situation long-term. Enjoying every day of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 11:32 PM
6

Did you reach an agreement on custody/financials and have it signed by judge? If not and something is pending - you need to focus on that. And more she is distracted with hookups and boyfriends - better are your chances for favorable outcome.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 12:30 AM
2

Is she ex wife or you are still married just separated? I am confused about your story.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 12:24 AM
1

What you described about medical condition is different from OP’s scenario. Your ex can tell her boyfriend about medical condition if child will stay with boyfriend of course. But it doesn’t mean doctor can communicate child’s health information to your ex’s boyfriend directly. And if doctor can’t communicate this information to ex’s boyfriend - there is no reason for doctor to have boyfriend’s contact information. If OP’s ex-wife decides to join parent-teacher conference with boyfriend that’s o…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 09:21 AM
7

How much time do you spend with son? 50/50? You can communicate with your son and sign him up for any classes you want during his time with you. You don’t have to give her an upper hand. I am not a lawyer, but for school I would communicate with them in writing prohibiting sharing any child related information with unrelated 3rd parties like boyfriends. PII and all that - you can research that.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 05:47 AM
-1

I don’t want random person to give my child hugs. Doesn’t matter if it’s man or woman.
/r/MensRights15/12/23 10:37 PM
6

Given how it is inappropriate to approach woman in a workspace, I am surprised younger women who are college students don’t report their classmates for approaches. Like, they don’t feel safe attending the class anymore after being objectified - something like that? Or do they? I have son in elementary school and question is when will this reach elementary schools as well.
/r/MensRights12/12/23 06:00 PM
3

M36, income close to 400k, 6’1”, 6 pack, getting there. Have women reaching out to me semi-regularly and very much enjoy politely rejecting advances. It’s all good and I am looking forward to your lifestyle (except I don’t like beer lol). But if I am completely honest with myself, for me this is a result of being deeply hurt during longest relationship I had in my life: once your wife tells you that she married you and gave birth to your son just to take a revenge over another man, you don’t rec…
/r/MensRights11/12/23 12:13 AM
1

Person that stays may have zero motivation to finalize divorce. https://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=81622 If she moved out you are fine. IANAL
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 06:13 AM
4

Family dinners sometimes were usual, sometimes “mom went out with friends” and dinner was without her. Can you two and kids just eat food and talk about school or something like that? Or not talk? There were no gatherings except for 1 gathering that was planned well in advance before separation (and cancellation would ruin plans of other people) and 1 kid’s birthday that was in trampoline park.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 08:32 AM
15

I was a was separated under the same roof for about 3 months. I did it and you will handle it too. Schedule meeting with attorney. Do not move out!!!
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 05:22 AM
2

You mean after ex left? Great.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 10:29 PM
3

If she went back to her ex- it’s 100% guarantee it’s not your fault. She was not over him to begin with. And any attempt to blame you is just a gaslighting. Now, while she is gone physically, you need to focus on best financial and custody outcome of the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 01:23 AM
–

OP you are the one who needs to learn to read. How can woman with no kids be SAHM if M stands for “mom” here?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/23 04:04 PM
3

First consultation with lawyer is typically free. Do it first thing in the morning tomorrow.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 04:14 AM
17

Showing her zero emotions in the best revenge. By making any remarks you would just show that you care about her and her emotions.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 11:27 PM
3

Start with telling him your beliefs but avoiding labels like “MRA” as a first step. Like, genuinely express your views on the issue you care about without mention of MRA or online communities.
/r/MensRights03/12/23 04:30 AM
10

I agree with this. But it doesn’t mean any significant number of men reach any peaks in their 30s. At the age of 18, you need looks, charisma, fun personality. At the age of 30, you need all of the above plus education, career, money. Looks, charisma, fun personality requirements don’t go away. Women’s requirements go up not down with age.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/23 05:08 PM
3

Isn’t one of key topics discussed on this sub that women in 2023 have their own money and can choose partner based on looks and emotions they provide rather than financials?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/23 03:03 PM
5

What made you as man in your 30s attractive to much younger women?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/23 02:50 AM
53

Lol @ new peaks. 99% of people don’t suddenly become more attractive in their 30s. Applies to both genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/23 02:47 AM
0

Confirming. I know at least 4 women in their 30s and 40s who are serially dating men about 10 years younger. And yes, same about wife. My ex-wife at 31 screwed a teenager, that’s why I divorced her.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/23 07:41 AM
16

Antaliya is known for cheap all-inclusive resorts where Russian tourists drink unlimited alcohol. Antalya-Vnukovo flight is probably one of the most drunk flights you can find on this planet.
/r/MensRights29/11/23 09:16 AM
10

It was right in original reports in Russian media: allegedly, man confirmed at the scene that he has no complaints and performed certain acts in response.
/r/MensRights29/11/23 08:45 AM
2

Good. I hope you got at least 50% custody? Healing will take time. But wife having an affair during divorce benefits you - STBX is way more likely to sign the papers you want in this case.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 08:07 PM
5

OP the fact that you even remotely consider having your cheating ex-wife back is very concerning. What is status of your divorce? Is it final?
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 07:16 PM
1

I have been in somewhat similar situation: stbx dated people during the separation phase. I know it is not easy for you. But you have to disconnect your buttons. While she is dating - she is more likely to sign the divorce settlement. Focus on your goals (custody of minor children if any, assets/debt split, ss/cs). While she is dating - she is waaaay more likely to sign the papers you need. Use it because effect is temporary.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 06:10 AM
2

Have some respect. “From her past” is the worst of all options. She thought (at least) about him during the marriage. And/or broke up with you to bang him.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 04:31 AM
2

Did you help her to fight her first ex-husband, stripping him off custody of his children? Morally, financially?
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 06:37 AM
22

Will single dads like myself be considered an underrepresented category for DEI initiatives now?
/r/MensRights09/10/23 11:51 PM
18

What if it’s just easier to see situations where men “didn’t move on”? While in your every day life you see many men who did “move on” but don’t scream about that on every corner.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/23 01:12 AM
2

Ensure that you don’t have common friends. Person talking to your ex-wife isn’t your friend even if it is technically your relative. Only people ever you and your ex can talk to under any circumstances are your children, professionals working with your children (teachers, doctors) and judge. Cut off everyone else.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 07:05 AM
7

I believe it is already not socially acceptable to approach a woman at hobby places unless she gives very clear signals that she wants to know you outside of the venue. Like, “woman has a right to enjoy her hobby without being objectified”.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/23 04:05 PM
1

It’s not uncommon for guys in early 20s to complain that women their age want only casual sex and not ready for any commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 09:44 PM
7

In which age group?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/23 07:47 AM
1

Don’t work extra hours before divorce. This will screw you at CS/SS. Instead, make sure your STBX starts working and spend more time with child. I am not a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 02:03 AM
2

She is at least coached by someone who knows how to do things. Please join the forum I linked in another comment.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 08:48 PM
1

Does she have a lawyer?
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 03:41 PM
2

Start with this: https://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=81622
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/23 04:50 AM
0

Not a lawyer. Assumption is that new husband’s money aren’t spent on your children. Theoretically if she marries person with much higher income CS can even go up because now she will be in higher tax bracket compared to yesterday and her take-home pay goes down. But I never heard about CS being increased for this reason in real life.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 07:46 AM
3

You need an attorney that isn’t afraid of going to trial - this kind of attorney will get you best settlement without going to trial. They may be called “litigator”, “trial lawyers”… check with your local courthouse which attorneys argue family law cases more often. Gender may be important if you are afraid of women in power positions. If it is the case, you need male attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 05:01 AM
10

It’s part of being a dad. She gave you extra time - take it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 02:50 AM
0

I am not sure I understand, sorry. Are you saying that if you pay escort and have dinner with her it’s all good legally?
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 09:59 PM
1

You need at least put yourself into a situation where they would notice you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 09:54 PM
0

Are you in U.S.? Are you not worried of legal consequences of paid sex? Being labeled as sex offender would have serious consequences for someone’s life.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 09:20 PM
1

Are you in U.S.? Are you not worried of legal consequences of paid sex? Being labeled as sex offender would have serious consequences for someone’s life.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 09:19 PM
2

I am very much in shape, but I would challenge an assumption that divorced guys have all the time in the world :) I certainly dedicate time for workout but I wouldn’t say it’s easy. Speaking about t mentioning child on the profile, I decided to mention. Too tired of being ghosted/rejected after a woman learns that I am single dad. Easier to filter women who aren’t cool with it, while unfortunately it feels like majority of women are in this category.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 05:53 PM
1

Dating (met parents, travel together, live together even sometimes) but not getting married.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 05:48 PM
1

How many matches per week do you get to have a problem of scheduling two dates at the same time? Or if you successfully meet that many women in real life - where?
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 08:16 AM
1

You admit that women are chasing same guys. Person can easily have characteristics making them undesirable, especially person from this sub. Have kids? “Swipe left, I don’t want someone spending time and resources on kids from another woman”. Broke after divorce? Swipe left obviously. Etc.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/23 08:14 AM
2

Single moms have as good dating life as other women their age, on average. I know single moms in their 30s and 40s dating normal or attractive guys 10 years younger. Edit: many women in their late 20s and in their 30s who aren’t mothers but want to become mothers want to get married and have children NOW. Some ask how much time do I need to make a decision on a first date or before that during texting. Single moms at least don’t have that level of pressure on average.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 04:42 AM
8

How exactly one person should know what makes other person uncomfortable? Only way to ensure that your approach won’t make woman uncomfortable is to not approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 09:18 PM
1

How close to 6 y.o.? I would honestly do 7/7 and it will be easier for everyone.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 08:44 AM
1

How old is the child and what is proposed schedule?
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 07:59 AM
2

Do you want to have children? Do you believe that it’s better for children to have two parents in their lives? If answer to either of these questions is “No” - there is no reason to get married.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/23 06:39 AM
2

Therapy for child? Potentially yes, but make sure that it won’t negatively affect your custody situation. Many therapists are pro-mom. Do you have custody situation figured out? Does child understand how their life will look like after parents will start living separately?
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 05:31 AM
1

I focused on getting the best outcome of divorce. Ex focused on banging guys. Guess who had better concentration and got everything he could dream about and more? Read this https://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=81659
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 01:15 AM
16

When you say “98/100 women I’ve met have been cool” - did you mean 98% of women were cool with you approaching them? If yes - where did you approach them and how old were you at the time?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 05:53 AM
16

This. As M36 holding good title at big publicly traded company all of you know, I don’t want to be called creep at cancelled.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 04:44 AM
5

Where are you showing this signals (which venue/location) and how old are you/them?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 04:42 AM
16

Met where and at what age?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 03:12 AM
12

In your 30s (where most millennials are today), there are almost no appropriate places for approach except may be for bar/club. Most other places are either strict no (work, businesses, gym) or “woman isn’t there to be bothered, don’t be a creep” (parks, hobbies). Also, most women that age are partnered so chance of successful approach is super slim. It’s weird to see 35 year old man approaching 35 year old women on the street randomly, almost never happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/23 03:10 AM
0

Intelligent people know they “hang out” not “hangs out”.
/r/AllPillDebate21/09/23 09:38 PM
2

This stage happens after divorce is final not before. For now, your goal is to get the best divorce outcome possible.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 09:56 AM
4

At some point after divorce I reached a point where I don’t give a shit about what happens to my ex - as long as it doesn’t affect child. And couldn’t care less about what she thinks about my abs. What you are doing now is normal, it is a stage you need to go through. Congratulations on 50/50 custody. I wish you to reach a stage where you DGAF about your ex - and reach it sooner rather than later.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 06:23 AM
4

Furness had two miscarriages, following which she and Jackman adopted two children. - Wikipedia
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/23 02:46 AM
3

Root cause is described in the comment above. I don’t have a solution that would help majority of men to get laid, unfortunately.
/r/MensRights15/09/23 06:03 AM
4

Understanding root of the problem is what I am paid to do daily. So, it is natural for me to look for that.
/r/MensRights15/09/23 05:33 AM
8

Article is right, but if you would be a woman would you act differently from how women act today? Every woman I discussed the issue with told me she gets thousands of likes in dating apps - more than she can realistically go on a date with even after filtering. If you would have unlimited access to any type of partner you desire - would it be easy for you to settle? If you would have thousands of partners willing to pay for fun dates and give you gifts - would you want to spend your own money on…
/r/MensRights15/09/23 05:06 AM
7

Opposite. I have 50/50 custody. How did it happen that you are out of contact from your kid’s’ daily lives? Did court order less than 50%?
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 03:36 PM
2

Is there anything about child support itself? Also does agreement say “child expenses” or “mutually agreed child expenses” or anything of that sort?
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 02:17 AM
3

What exactly are court orders saying in the issue?
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 01:17 AM
1

This is the question I would ask attorney. On one hand, you don’t have to block her from doing it if she is entitled to it, on the other hand you don’t want her to tell you assaulted her or something.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 04:51 PM
3

Moving out is typically the biggest mistake you can make. Read this: https://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=81622
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 04:56 AM
3

Lawyers will request documents from other party, this process is called “discovery”. You will be able to look at these statements. Talk to your attorney about that.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 11:56 PM
2

Sorry to hear that. Been there as well, trust me after divorce is final your life will be better. Do you have kids?
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 05:39 AM
20

Knowing this why did you marry her?
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 09:23 PM
1

What is current schedule? Sometimes people agree to something like 2/2/3 when kids are young, and carry it up until teenager years which is weird and uncomfortable for all parties.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 03:48 AM
3

Why would you be the one to leave? If she wants a divorce - she can leave. If you leave, she has no incentive to have divorce finalized.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 01:52 AM
1

Interesting what you wrote about full custody. Some women avoid dating single dads because ex is on the picture but okay with dads with full custody. Where do you meet women IRL?
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 01:40 AM
3

I settled custody outside of court and got 50/50. I believe that reasons for divorce matter in settling outside of court. Did she cheat and want new life with Mr. Wonderful? More likely to agree to 50/50. Did she caught you cheating and wants to destroy you? Less likely to agree to 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 03:37 AM
1

Let’s be honest. Being single dad is playing against you on the dating scene. You will need to do as good as you can in all other departments (starting with looks) to be successful. M36, athletic build, 6’1”, I can realistically get 1 first date in 2 months when I prioritize this. Orange County, California.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 03:03 AM
1

Do you keep your audio recorder running 24/7? Easiest next step for her is abuse allegations to throw you out. Do you document your parenting time with children?
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 09:14 PM
2

Sounds like you are primary caregiver to your children. Hire good lawyer, start negotiations from you having primary custody (don’t start at 50/50) but eventually settle at joint custody.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 04:42 AM
1

Two weeks? I never had a cat, but even I know this is cruel.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 08:15 AM
9

Lol, I got divorced because of that as well (I am man and talking about ex-wife’s memories).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/23 12:11 AM
14

They will be settled down to. Their wives will marry them and give birth to their children, while still remembering these really hot guys they had chance to date at least briefly while they were young.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 08:35 PM
21

Woman C isn’t overweight, she is obese.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/23 08:13 PM
-10

I believe that person was sarcastic.
/r/MensRights31/08/23 07:03 AM
1

What does “requested” mean? In text or as part of discovery?
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 05:11 AM
3

I believe you are missing the point… in a situation when I make more money in a relationship(which is highly likely statistically as I am in top 2%) adding a person who spends money to my household means I would save/invest less. Regardless of how much I spend on my hobbies.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 10:32 PM
4

I have very nice home gym. These things have indefinite lifetime and I will leave them to my grandkids as inheritance. I have some work-related hobbies (teach people, write books) that bring me money instead of spending them. I do lots of cool things with my child which are free. Etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 09:56 PM
7

From my personal experience, women spend more on: 1. Household stuff that would just look differently but provide no material change (“decorative pillows for the sofa” - I and many men see no value in that) 2. Meals in places that look good on Instagram while quality is meh. 3. Beauty/care products. I use same shampoo/body wash as my child does, works perfectly. One bottle. 4. Nails and things like that. 5. Keeping up with Joneses in general. Source: I was married, and now I am single dad for ov…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 09:43 PM
7

On prenup: your statements in the latest comment are correct. My point is that prenup doesn’t protect a man from his life being ruined as a result of divorce. On men not benefiting financially: married man is forced to spend money on things he doesn’t necessarily want. Instead of investing or spending on things he wants. It is proven that women spend more than men generally.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 09:02 PM
1

Children. Only reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 08:06 PM
8

Some most important things can’t be included in prenup at all: custody and CS. He isn’t talking about who is better off after divorce. He is talking about who benefits financially during marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/23 08:04 PM
12

As another person who also dated women and was married to one, I agree.
/r/AllPillDebate26/08/23 07:29 AM
1

It’s in woman’s best interest to be with a man who comes from money rather than a man who is grinding 60+ hours a week.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 08:08 PM
1

Lol. Being rich doesn’t necessarily mean working longer hours.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/23 06:44 PM
1

Do you have children? I live in the same place I lived while married, just reorganized to fit my needs not ex’s - life is good.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 04:38 PM
6

As a single dad, I can confirm it is the most detrimental factor to my dating. I check most of other boxes, but being single dad is immediate No for most women.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/23 05:42 PM
6

North Carolina – Spouses are required to live in separate residences for one year before divorce will be granted. Prior to moving out, it’s a fatal mistake to not have a signed separation agreement. This agreement includes all of the stipulations typically found in a marriage settlement. Essentially, the one year separation period in NC is like the first year after divorce in other states. When you move out, there is a domestic criminal trespass law that prevents you from returning to the proper…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 10:56 PM
2

Define “living separately”? Does different bedrooms count? Which state?
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 10:43 PM
14

Custody of his children Social connections Business/career It’s impossible to just “take money away” from many types of accounts. Such as 401k. Real estate
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/23 06:07 AM
1

At least in SoCal men are hotter than in Eastern Europe. I tell that as straight Eastern European man myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/23 03:07 AM
15

I love United States and plan to become citizen soon. I would have never reached this level of career and financial success anywhere, I love the safety, comfort, education system, legal system, amazing doctors that helped me when I had health issues, I love working with Americans and doing business with them…. But I miss being surrounded by very hot women anywhere I go. Ohh, do I miss it….
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 04:36 AM
9

Eastern Europe
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 04:00 AM
58

Honestly as an immigrant I am shocked that Americans/Westerners consider this 20 y.o. having “nice curves”. I would better stay celibate. This would be considered very obese where I am originally from, sorry. Fit 50 y.o. is hot. I am M36.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/23 03:25 AM
1

This. Don’t go to meditation without a trial date set. Discuss this with your attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 08:12 AM
3

It will be worse financially than just marrying a woman from here: 1. Government will make you sign Affidavit of Support which is contract between you and government. This can’t be changed by a prenup. 2. More likely than not this woman won’t make decent money in U.S., you will be on the hook for CS/SS.
/r/MensRights07/08/23 05:07 AM
2

Can you elaborate please? I understand some jurisdictions can have common law marriages, but how can alimony be ordered if people didn’t live together?
/r/MensRights06/08/23 06:06 PM
34

Prenups can be thrown away by judge easily. Especially child support that can’t be even covered in prenup.
/r/MensRights01/08/23 11:18 PM
4

Solution: cancel alimony and CS (unless recipient is disabled). Both parents will become equally motivated to work to protect their future and responsibilities will be shared 50/50.
/r/MensRights26/07/23 02:00 AM
1

In many developed, western, countries, it's not uncommon for children to be born to unmarried couples. In U.S., in educated part of society, it is very uncommon. Neither of those things would be enforceable even if you put it in a prenup. Nothing related to children is. I know. That’s one of reasons I am not doing it.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/23 04:43 AM
2

Read about how easy it is for woman to make false accusations, put man on RO, and take any custody she wants;
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/23 03:47 AM
6

I do care about professional accomplishments. I am all for share parenting and specifically shared custody in case of divorce. Well, I fought for one in court - isn’t it the evidence? I work with quite a few women making good money (200k+ early in career) and they typically expect their men to contribute more to family finances.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/23 03:45 AM
2

What are other ways to have kids that have two parents? I as a man would be happy to have more children with a woman with whom we agree on 50/50 custody from day one and no CS. I was married before and it’s a trap. Thankfully I have joint custody but I am not marrying again.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/23 03:39 AM
3

As a divorced man, I heard women being super suspicious when they heard I didn’t sleep around after divorce. Like “it is normal and you aren’t ready for serious relationship until you (man) do this first”.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/23 03:11 AM
–

I couldn’t read text because of OP’s grammar. Sorry OP but that’s too much. It may affect your dating prospects as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/23 02:07 AM
7

“Children with present father figures are more likely to get better grades, have better verbal skills, and more positive peer relationships. For those boys raised in single parent households, schools can provide positive male role models lacking at home – or rather, could.” Single parent households = no father figure now? As a single dad of a son, I disagree.
/r/MensRights19/07/23 07:32 AM
3

Well, when I first confronted her she said “no, I obviously didn’t sleep with him. I am not a pervert, this would be a pedo.” But admitted everything later.
/r/MensRights11/07/23 08:03 PM
4

He was 18 or 19, so technically not a pedo. But weird if you ask me.
/r/MensRights11/07/23 08:01 PM
8

Serious answer from person who stopped paying alimony as well: 1. Able bodied adult should earn their living themselves. 2. I am following court orders - I can sleep good at night. 3. From a moral standpoint, it is important for me that marriage ended because of her cheating with some teenager (she was in her early 30s). She got what she deserved. I am not paying a penny on top of court orders.
/r/MensRights11/07/23 07:46 PM
1

It’s not possible to do immediately. Non-working spouse can gaslight working spouse for a few years easily: by complaining about perceived difficulties in getting work, minor mental health issues, alleged attempts “to find self”, etc. Also, pushing spouse to work may be considered sexual harassment these days.
/r/MensRights10/07/23 10:33 PM
2

Ok. But how should court distinguish between “both wanted one of them to be housewife/househusband” and “one was too lazy to work” situations? Which one should be default?
/r/MensRights10/07/23 08:33 PM
2

How would you differentiate between these situations? Why is “husband wanted a housewife” a default option in 2023 with perceived “gender equality”, etc?
/r/MensRights10/07/23 05:16 PM
2

Even if husband didn’t agree to wife staying at home? But she just decided to stop working after marriage?
/r/MensRights10/07/23 08:33 AM
1

My kid is better this way. Just don’t forget to keep custody man.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/23 04:06 PM
5

Highly depends on countries/cultures: where you are from and where you are trying to date. I assure you being from Eastern Europe, South East Asia or Latin America doesn’t get you extra points in U.S.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 07:23 AM
1

You mean why women don’t only date yacht-level-of-worth guys? Well, because there are way more women that want to do them comparing to number of guys with yachts + not old + average looking or better.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 01:11 AM
0

Because it’s kind of cool to have even casual date with someone who can invite you to his yacht. Interesting life experience, I totally understand women doing that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 12:40 AM
3

Question is if that recording would be useful at all.
/r/MensRights31/05/23 02:07 PM
17

Bad advice. It’s not admissible evidence likely. Talk to a lawyer.
/r/MensRights31/05/23 07:44 AM
2

And woman would be able to get away with raping a child?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 08:54 PM
1

But if both man and woman are drunk (as in situation described above) - it means she also committed a rape and has to be prosecuted?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 08:40 PM
3

They aren’t the rapist until there is a court order (jury decision or guilty plea).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 04:15 PM
8

I haven’t been in this situation personally, but theoretically: man and woman are equally drunk but able to talk. She verbally expresses the desire to have sex with him, removes clothing from herself or him, etc. Can this be considered a rape?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/23 08:05 AM
1

Sorry to hear that man, that’s awful. I hope you will be able to fight against that protection order successfully.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 08:24 PM
1

Why did you leave the house?
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 12:50 AM
1

Build home gym (I did it in 1100 sqft apartment but house would be better) and do it even when your son is with you. Hobby + quality time together. Win-win.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 02:20 AM
2

It is way different when you are not a student anymore. Message you are replying to is from person in his 30s.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/23 05:57 AM
1

Do you want to date someone who is a doormat? I can’t imagine a situation when I would ask me ex’s permission to go somewhere with my child on my court-ordered parenting time. Why would ex even need to know about these plans?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/23 04:16 PM
3

Good number of these women unmatching/running away after they learn I am single dad are single mothers themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/23 04:10 PM
2

It’s interesting that they unmatch/run away if they are single mothers themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/23 04:08 PM
7

Being very involved dad of 10 y.o. with 50/50 custody, I can tell you that most women immediately unmatch/run away when they learn about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/23 06:42 AM
3

I am not sure where you live, but in most states you can end up in jail for hiring a hooker.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/23 02:17 AM
3

In case of divorce, you will be absolutely f***ed. 100%. Edit: assuming you’d bring her here and sign affidavit of support,
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 01:05 AM
1

Thank you for the thoughtful response!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/23 01:50 AM
1

Yet more women go to universities than men? Yes, it’s hard to find a woman who has all other qualities and also decent career. But it doesn’t mean men don’t care. They do, especially if they know about family law.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 07:22 PM
1

Thank you for the thoughtful response. I don’t have pressure to marry, but I agree with rest of your points.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 07:19 PM
1

I don’t want woman to take care of my child. I am perfectly capable parent and take care of my child for years. He spends with me about 65% of time (35% with his mom).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 07:10 PM
1

Ever heard of alimony? I make decent money and if I marry and later divorce, I don’t want to pay alimony. Only way to achieve that is to marry someone who make about the same or even more.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 09:41 AM
2

I am in Irvine, median price for SFH is $1.85M. I crossed 200k income line just few years ago. So, yes, I am renting and it is my only option. I can’t move to another school district because of custody.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 05:19 AM
1

I would lose custody of my child if I move to another school district. Not an option for another 9 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 05:14 AM
1

Thank you for the thoughtful response.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 02:27 AM
1

Actually I was surprised when in my last relationship totally “normal” girl shared with me that Bentley gift photo. I really thought she was cute but not out of my league extremely. May be I should reevaluate.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 01:44 AM
2

I don’t introduce kid to GF for months. Actually, I never got to the point when I would. Broke up with girlfriends at few months’ mark or earlier.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 01:39 AM
1

They had such partners and cohabitated with them even, but couldn’t get the ring from them. Or relationships didn’t work out for whatever reason, I don’t know all the details obviously.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 01:37 AM
1

USD Edit: it is not crazy amount for the area and industry.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 01:34 AM
1

It is not a racial situation in this case. I am white, women I am talking about are whites, their exes are white as well to my knowledge.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 01:26 AM
1

Thank you for the thoughtful response!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 01:24 AM
2

Thank you for the thoughtful response.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 01:23 AM
1

My money doesn’t take me far in very expensive area and with child support I pay. Also, I started making over 200k just couple of years ago and not wealthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 01:18 AM
1

That’s ok, I have nothing against dating them.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 01:16 AM
2

Thank you for your perspective! It makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 12:24 AM
3

Hmm… okay?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 12:24 AM
2

Because only after she couldn’t get them she considered people like me? Edit: couldn’t get them to commit.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 12:24 AM
2

How?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 12:07 AM
1

Where do you approach women and which age group? I am M35, hence asking.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 01:13 AM
1

How old are you?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 12:57 AM
1

Yeah, many women will require a man to be in a committed relationship with them before having sex. But… very same man may not know that very same woman previously had sex on a first date with another guy, who was actually hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 12:52 AM
1

Which age group you recommend mid-30s to make approach to? I know that you can legally approach 18 year olds, but that’s not the question. I am M35 and I am attracted to women about 25-40 years old. I am not attracted to 19 year olds, tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/22 12:33 AM
1

Cold approach may work when you are in college. But if you are in mid-30s, most of your social circle is through work (where dating is a big no-no) and most women your age are already partnered - forget about cold approaches.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/22 08:11 PM
4

Not all of them. Only straight white men that don’t speak Russian. In case someone doesn’t know, West Hollywood has biggest Russian diaspora on West Coast.
/r/MensRights22/10/22 05:21 AM
1

Is divorce final?
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 02:28 AM
4

You can’t avoid divorce but you can minimize damage from it: Ensure that she earns about as much as you do, or more. Avoid spousal support. Ensure that she isn’t interested in becoming SAHM, look for career oriented woman. This way you can have higher chance of 50/50 custody. Ensure that as a family you live in 50/50 state, and you can live there till kids turn 18. You won’t be able to move freely after divorce without losing custody, in most cases.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 05:49 AM
1

And these were changes made over the course of what… couple of months, correct? And it got strong pushback from Ukrainian society as a result, correct?
/r/MensRights28/09/22 04:46 AM
1

Do you think Ukrainian regime in early 2014 is the same as Russian regime in 2022?
/r/MensRights28/09/22 02:12 AM
1

Russian civilians don’t have weapons typically. They have zero chance fighting over heavily armed guards. And even peaceful anti war protests mean years in jail.
/r/MensRights28/09/22 02:01 AM
12

Issue is not limited to foreign women. If being with you significantly improves her financial lifestyle - it means there is good chance she isn’t into you. Same may be applicable to men being bf/married to wealthy women, but this is less popular situation.
/r/MensRights26/09/22 10:49 PM
1

Yes, it is better. No, I didn’t find better partner and not actively looking for one. Life is good without that.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/22 06:42 PM
1

Find good father-friendly litigator attorney (not mediator).
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/22 02:35 AM
5

There should be no spousal support at all, unless person is not able to work due to medical condition.
/r/MensRights13/08/22 02:05 AM
1

Good bot
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/22 09:06 PM
2

I would normally recommend to not date until divorce is final, but you have a very special case with only few weeks of marriage. Confirm with lawyer and if it has no legal consequences - go ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/22 09:03 PM
2

Yes, this logic may very well apply to college as well. Easy to imagine how girl would say she doesn’t feel safe near him anymore, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 04:59 AM
10

Move on a coworker and risk ruining a career forever? I may like the woman, but it’s not worth the risk of literally ruining my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/22 01:46 AM
4

Where in this article you found something about gay couples?
/r/MensRights21/07/22 03:23 AM
1

Camping
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/22 04:22 AM
1

What are you talking about? Every state prohibits sexual intercourse with those under a certain age. Under California Penal Code 261.5 PC, statutory rape occurs when a person engages in sexual activity with a minor under a certain age. A minor in this context is a person who is younger than the legal age of consent. The age of consent varies from 16 to 18 years of age, depending on the state. California’s age of consent is 18 years of age. This means it is a crime to engage in sexual intercourse…
/r/MensRights20/05/22 11:34 PM
1

There are no such state in U.S. where custody is “decided” by a child. In some jurisdictions child’s decision may be one of the factors taken into consideration. Now, can child legally decide to have sex or alcohol at the age of 12? No, not in U.S. Why should they be able to make a decision about surgery like this?
/r/MensRights20/05/22 10:08 PM
1

Definitions of “overweight” and “obesity” make no sense here. Males can be “obese” by CDC standards and yet I have a 6-pack. Lots of weightlifters will be in that category.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/22 11:27 PM
-1

This is the way.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 03:36 AM
3

Run! Don’t wait till you have kids and mortgage.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/22 12:56 AM
3

Your are not in post-divorce situation. You are in active-divorce-with-court-battles-pending situation. Smart man will understand that you are not ready for long-term relationships today. Speaking about fuck buddy - they shouldn’t care much about why you divorced. And keep in mind that court records are public. And men that consider having long-term relationships with you will likely read them.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/22 02:48 AM
1

Read the checklist: http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?t=13374
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 04:10 AM
4

Bravo! Very well said. And great job of having 50/50 for 3 y.o.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/22 01:05 AM
1

Yes, it is ok to be single. Actually you need to ensure that your divorce is finalized before considering dating, for your own good and your child.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 11:53 PM
5

First thing I did after found that wife cheated on me - opened OneNote and created a list. It was called “I don’t want to be with woman that…” List had 12-15 bullet points and infidelity was just one of them. Whenever I wanted to stop divorce process (she was begging me to) - I opened the list and read it. Divorce was the best decision in my life.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 07:53 AM
3

I love children. Risk of having another divorce or unhappy marriage is what prevents me from having more children.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 09:22 PM
1

She kicked you out but there are no court orders? Something doesn’t match. But I guess it doesn’t matter anymore if she got evicted anyway. If I would be in your situation- I would speak to more lawyers. Because your wife builds status quo of being the only parent involved in child’s life. And your lack of action about that signals to court that you are ok with that. Time works against you.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/22 07:19 PM
1

So, there is some court order in place that gives her possession of the marital home? Any restraining orders?
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/22 04:11 PM
1

Why do you leave separately from your wife and child? Did you voluntarily move out?
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/22 08:16 AM
1

Are you upfront about the fact that you have kids in your OLD profile? Also, how upfront are you with women about the fact that you are not looking for long-term relationships? Asking for a friend :)
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/22 05:31 PM
0

Do you have kids? Looks like for many women man being a dad is a major red flag.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/22 05:18 PM
3

Friend with benefits
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/22 05:16 PM
1

Take your time. Most people need at least a year to emotionally recover after divorce is final. When was your divorce final?
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/22 03:42 PM
1

On different schedules: you mentioned “50% custody of the 2nd”. That’s not how it works. Assume that both kids will have same parenting time schedule. Which means youngest should be born and old enough for you to have good shot at 50%.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/22 05:51 PM
1

Good job on the right priorities and custody goals. Why do you want to get divorce? Court will unlikely order different schedules for kids. I would wait at this time. At least a year. Read the checklist: http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?t=13374
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/22 03:35 PM
4

Women get benefit of doubt when it comes to custody - does it surprise anyone?
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 07:40 PM
2

Move back in. Moving out is the worst mistake you can make during divorce. Read the checklist: http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?t=13374 Run DAR 24/7. Ensure you have litigator attorney and trial date scheduled before going to mediation. Mediation without court date is waste of money and time.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/22 07:11 PM
2

Divorce decree can be set aside. If she changes her mind (years after you “divorce” and buy a house) - she can hire a lawyer and set divorce aside (cancel it). The fact that you’d still live together will make it even easier. I am not a lawyer of course.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/22 02:38 AM
3

Disagree. Best lawyer I know graduated from school 200+ in this rating, more than 30 years ago. It is more important to consider if lawyer is litigator or mediator and ensure they practice family law exclusively.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/22 02:06 AM
8

During divorce each party can run “discovery” which includes asking other party for financial documents. If your spouse will be represented by attorney - most likely they will ask for your bank statements and credit card statements for last few years and you will have to provide that information. Don’t play stupid games.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 07:31 AM
3

She had kid with another man prior to marrying you, correct? And she refused that man access to his child? And you, knowing that, conceived another child with her? If that is true - you already had a preview of what’s coming. Age and gender of children? Did you adopt that first child? Forget about who is illegal. It has nothing to do with divorce. Moving out is the worst mistake you can make during divorce. Run DAR 24/7 in your pocket. If/when she will get physical- call 911 and get her ass kick…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 03:22 AM
2

What is your state? Do you have kids? You don’t need financial documents to file for divorce, but you need an attorney. Do both you and your wife work? How do your incomes compare?
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/22 08:35 AM
1

Attorney is your employee. You are the boss. Do you manage your employee effectively? Is your attorney mediator or litigator? Do you know the difference? Does your attorney practice family law exclusively, most of the time in your courthouse?Did you communicate goals clearly? Do you have complete copy of case file? Did you ensure that trial date is scheduled - before any negotiations through attorneys started?
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/22 03:21 AM
3

Negotiate and secure 50/50 first and foremost. Everything else is secondary, including house.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/22 06:19 PM
5

Depends on your finances, but house is one of factors that may contribute positively towards 50/50 or better custody. If you get divorced - your children’s lives should be disrupted as minimum as possible. What are your custody goals?
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/22 03:40 PM
3

I agree that it is too much, she is setting up for custody interference. Good job on having 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/22 09:28 PM
3

Read checklist: http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?t=13374 What is your state? Age and gender of children? Consider telling her that you may consider reconciliation, but she need to find a job first.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/22 03:45 PM
1

What do you mean by dating? Casual, FWB - sure. Have a family, raise kids - surely no. I am single dad and don’t expect a woman to want to marry me either, until child will be 18 or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/22 02:25 AM
4

Hire an attorney. Hiring an attorney to prepare documents is possible, it doesn’t mean that you have to go to court.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 05:19 PM
4

You have no kids which makes divorce relatively easy. How does” all savings” amount compare to “how much house equity increased during marriage” amount? Assuming you have no debt and no pre-tax savings like 401k.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 04:45 AM
2

Checklist: http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?t=13374
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/22 06:28 PM
0

Not every man wants to go to jail for having sex with a sex worker and be labeled as sex crime offender for the rest of his life. At least that’s how it works in my state.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/22 07:25 PM
3

Did you have trial date scheduled? It is a key for successful mediation.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/22 06:31 PM
7

Get her to work. Cut expenses until she earns her dime.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/22 07:34 PM
4

DO NOT MOVE OUT in case it wasn’t clear from other posts before. Read this: http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?t=13374
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/22 06:26 PM
1

. . . , , : ; ) ( … My present to you, sir. Feel free to use it as you seem fit.
/r/MensRights10/01/22 06:28 AM
5

This is exact reason why men need to fight for 50/50 custody. It is the best medicine against relocation.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/22 06:46 PM
2

Is 60/40 current de facto custody schedule, something you agreed to, or your goal? These are three different things potentially. Is 60/40 written in agreement signed by judge? Did you voluntarily move out?
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/22 02:38 AM
9

Her dating is the best thing that can happen to you during divorce. STBXW that have Mr.Wonderful tend to sign most reasonable agreements. I was in the same situation and understand how you feel though. Do you currently live under the same roof? What is your state? What are your custody goals?
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/22 02:23 AM
17

I got both better and bitter. These are not mutually exclusive.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/22 10:44 AM
2

I have son, I am single dad. He is the person I love the most on entire planet, he loves me and wants to be around me all the time, we share interests, he brings joy to my life every day. I don’t care about nuclear wars. I know that he is the best thing that ever happened in my life and he is happy to be with me as well. Even if we would be bombed tomorrow - it was all worth it because of him.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/22 10:41 AM
-1

Children
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/22 08:22 AM
1

Parent that spends with children all the time except EOW already decides on extracurriculars. You don’t need court order for that. Court won’t allow you to “decide where they live” completely: you can’t move with children to Australia or Japan for example without court order. You need very strong justification to explain court why she shouldn’t decide on medical. It doesn’t look like you have one from your text, but discuss with attorney. On supervised visitation we already covered earlier. I am…
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/22 06:06 AM
2

Depends on what do you mean by “sole custody”. Physical or legal? If physical - do you mean primary custody with visitation to another parents or no visitation rights at all?
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/22 03:42 AM
4

Alleged money laundering and living with new boyfriend not knowing him long enough may be not enough grounds for supervised visitation. Talk to your attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/22 12:08 AM
1

I can’t realistically survive in today’s society not driving and not riding any car ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 08:31 PM
2

It is not about court necessarily. If you have decent career and accused in something like this, you can get cancelled even if police/court isn’t involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 05:44 PM
1

If woman is under influence of alcohol - there is significant chance she can say later that she was raped. It is very risky situation. Even if it looked consensual and she went to your home, undressed herself, initiated sex, etc. “I was drunk, you used me” is a thing that can ruin your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/22 05:10 PM
-7

Did she tell you if she wants to keep pregnancy or have an abortion? Also not sure how it works for you but I was never hard when heavily drunk. So, “ I was drunk and found she is on me” part sounds unusual.
/r/MensRights05/01/22 06:03 PM
2

Checklist: http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?t=13374
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/22 03:42 PM
10

Custody is most important part of divorce. Custody is the most important thing men lose in divorce frequently. No prenup will save you from losing custody.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/22 09:45 PM
1

Which means she is free to go as she pleased. And you will loose these weekends if she wants to, and there will be no recourse.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/22 05:08 AM
5

Did you agree with her about school district your child should reside in? Is it in written agreement? Because if you didn’t - it may be super easy for her as custodial parent to move out. You will loose even these weekends you agreed to. I am fellow dad, not a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/22 04:49 AM
5

When men say that “it’s best for everyone that we work together” most of the time it means they fell on their swords. It is most frequent reason men don’t get custody in my experience. You do you, of course. Speaking about schedule, any mom can get to hospital, to jail, die or be abducted by aliens. It’s incumbent upon dad to be ready to take care of child 100% of the time in case any of these situations happen. When you reach than mindset - switching to 50% custody is a breeze.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/22 04:16 AM
3

And remember: physical custody is measured in overnights. How many overnights you expect to have over 28 day period?
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/22 03:24 AM
1

With all these shifts and schools… what is attorney supposed to write in agreement?
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/22 03:23 AM
3

Custody is the most important part of divorce. Especially since you are young and have time to earn whatever money you will lose. What parenting schedule did you agree to?
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/22 03:17 AM
3

She convinced you to sell marital residence without even filing for divorce and used money to buy new house for her? Wow. Just wow. She isn’t 10, she is 100 steps ahead of you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/22 07:30 PM
1

Is it is marital property or not - you need to discuss with your attorney. It may matter where did she take money for downpayment. But what I don’t understand is how it’s related to custody. Can you please elaborate? I am not sure I follow.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/22 07:14 PM
3

Damn, she knows the game and is definitely coached by someone who knows the ropes. You see: she established a status quo first and filed after that. Brilliant. But bad for you. Make no mistake: she plays it right.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/22 06:49 PM
5

Divorce case can be handled through negotiation with other side, but good attorney should be ready to take it to the trial. Is your attorney ready to take case to the trial? List of trials in your courthouse and attorneys that represent parties is public. 6-8 overnights during 28 day period? After you were primary caregiver for years? She already established her status quo during this year, man. Do you see what she is doing finally? Why didn’t you spend with children at least 50% of time if ther…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/22 06:40 PM
2

6-12 months of status quo is typically sufficient. Something that happens years ago may not matter much. Is your attorney litigator or mediator? Do they practice family law exclusively? I am fellow dad, not attorney, but I see major red flags here. Your STBX plays her game and she is 10 steps ahead of you. How many overnights during 28 day period do children spend with you today?
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/22 06:30 PM
5

Time works against you. Now, if she didn’t pay alimony and you were able to meet your ends without her support - it establishes a status quo. Expect this to be her argument. Same for custody. Status quo is greatest bias of the court. Court doesn’t want to disrupt children’s lives. That’s why if you were primary caregiver- it is critical to maintain that during whole divorce process. What are current (temporary) custody orders?
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/22 06:23 PM
3

That’s not temporary alimony, not even close. If roles would be reversed, woman would take about half of your take-home income in temporary CS/SS and you wouldn’t even dream about buying a house. What does your attorney say about it? Remember, you were enabler thanks to whom she completed medical school, etc. That’s what female’s attorney would say if roles would be reversed. Also, if roles would be reversed - woman would have emergency temporary custody as primary caregiver of children and you …
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/22 06:07 PM
2

Fight for 50/50 at least! What is your state? She bought a house during separation… how about temporary alimony? Does she pay any?
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/22 05:47 PM
1

Talk to your attorney and ask him. There may be difference between cashing money out to spend them (bad idea) and just transferring them to another account to preserve them. In the latter case you will still list them as marital asset and expect them to be split 50/50. But she won’t be able to blow it up.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/22 04:23 PM
2

EOW for her - it is court ordered, correct? If you would move to her city - you would give her advantage. She could say it is change in circumstances and ask for increased parenting time. Do you really want that? Why? If you want to keep current schedule- just be an awesome dad, keep your parenting journal and parenting time tracker up-to-date. I don’t really understand what you worry about.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/22 05:58 AM
3

What is current parenting plan? And what does “full custody” mean to you? Why does she pay no child support? It is in best interest of children. School quality doesn’t matter much for custody determination, I wouldn’t worry about that. She has her career advanced? Great, collect more CS. I am fellow dad, not a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/22 01:51 AM
1

What is your state? Do you have kids? Do both you and wife work? How do your incomes compare? Checklist for you: http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?t=13374
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/22 01:43 AM
7

Your divorce final already, correct? You need to maintain separation with ex in a sense that only people you both talk to are children and judge. That’s all. Her friends are not your friends.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/22 09:48 PM
2

Overall idea of how to get more involved in your children’s lives: Attend all parent-teacher conferences, school events, doctor appointments. Move where your children are Keep well-written parenting journal Offer Ex help in taking care of children. She wants to go to a date and ready to give you 2 hours of kids time? You cancel everything and take as much time with children as you can. Do not mention court or finances. Keep status quo of increased parenting time for 6-12 months. Petition the cou…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/22 03:56 AM
1

In your post you said you consider joint custody. Did you mean joint physical? I believe that would piss you ex muuuuuch more, won’t it? You don’t get anything until you stop caring how your lawsuit adversary feels.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/22 03:36 AM
1

2 hours away - it means two hours drive (not flight), right? You can attend parent-teacher conferences and doctor visits to start with. It is best interest issue. If you want to be involved in your kids’ lives - you have to start doing that. It is not a rocket science to find teacher’s name, right?
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/22 03:32 AM
0

You are your own worst enemy. Are you in contact with children’s teachers? Did last round of parent-teacher conferences happen via Zoom or something? Where you present there?
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/22 03:25 AM
1

You are not going anywhere while you are still afraid of her. It is in best interest of your children that their father will attend school events, doctor visits, parent-teacher conferences and such. This can be achieved, at least partially, without moving. Next, to get even chance of joint physical custody you need to move where your children are. But that is next level.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/22 03:23 AM
6

I know nothing about Canadian law, but is there any law or court order that prohibit you from moving back in? Divorce takes long and voluntary moving out is the worst mistake you can make - at least in US. What are your custody goals? If you want 50/50 (which is generally in best interest of children) - you need to ensure that you are equally involved in children‘a lives, as their mom is.
/r/MensRights31/12/21 09:54 AM
3

What are ages of your kids? What is your state? Do you currently live under the same roof with her or someone moved out?
/r/MensRights31/12/21 09:45 AM
-7

Is there any law that prohibits him from carrying a gun on his property? Does he have to feel threatened to carry a gun on his property?
/r/MensRights31/12/21 09:26 AM
-14

I am not a lawyer, but father played stupid games and won stupid prize. If he had a court order - she should have filed for contempt, not push another man, especially man with a gun.
/r/MensRights31/12/21 06:41 AM
1

Some people are ready for other relationships year after divorce, some are not. Either way is normal. You may just need more time.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/21 05:37 AM
2

How long ago was your divorce finalized?
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/21 03:44 AM
4

Who has final decision making on medical?
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/21 12:40 AM
5

…. so keep business-style brief communication with her pertaining to children only.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/21 09:01 PM
8

I don’t know where you live, but for me it looks super weird. I live in California.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/21 07:43 PM
8

Why did you call her?
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/21 07:14 PM
0

So, it’s hard to say, which of you is unreasonable one in this fight. Just don’t have enough information.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/21 06:04 PM
3

What is compliant about?
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/21 09:34 AM
-1

No. ONLY people both you and Ex should communicate to will be kids (if any) and judge. Period. Stop any and all communication with all her friends and family. Any person who was family friend but continues any form of communication with her is not your friend, they are her friend.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/21 05:27 PM
3

Fixed the link
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/21 12:38 AM
10

Couples counseling is an industry that caters for women. Your checklist is here: http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?t=13374 It also covers the question of when and how to tell her.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/21 11:56 PM
1

Florida is 50/50 state unless you do something stupid or your wife plays some very dirty games successfully. DAR is digital audio recorder.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/21 08:45 PM
1

What is your state? Age and gender of kids? Move back in, hire good litigator attorney who practices family law exclusively, run DAR 24/7.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/21 08:02 PM
7

It doesn’t matter what name is on title or mortgage. It is marital property and she is going to stay I believe.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/21 05:29 AM
1

Single dad here. Children are biggest investments of time and money. I spend that much time and that much money on my children only. Having that said, being FWB with single mom is totally fine in my opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/21 02:43 AM
4

In addition to other points: have your “year of peace” Wait at least one year after divorce is final before dating anyone. If you have post-divorce legal issues - year of peace didn’t start yet.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/21 11:15 PM
28

I have been in that situation and understand how you feel. Remember: your wife having Mr.Wonderful is the best thing that can happen to you during divorce. These wives tend to sign most reasonable deals. Ensure you sign the right custody and financial deals with her. She isn’t your wife, she is lawsuit adversary. More she is distracted - better. Ensure that you think with your big head though.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/21 05:10 AM
5

May be something technical like missing signature or missing local court form. Take a look at Return Sheet - some counties will allow you to download it from court website for a small fee.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/21 05:36 PM
1

What state are you in? If you want to have 50/50 custody after divorce - you need to be able to show court that you take care of children as much as she does. Ensure that your work allows you to take sick day when kids are sick and ensure that STBX works. It is the only way.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/21 05:32 AM
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