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Not_Without_My_Cat Archive

View 0 posts and 90 comments by Not_Without_My_Cat on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Thank you for answering honestly and thoughtfully. There is a lot of hostility in these replies that lead me to believe that a large number of the members of this community are feeling a lot of pain and don’t have any good outlets for that. So your ranking is your own personal ranking of you much you are attracted to her? Or it is a measure of what you perceive to be her “hotness value” within society at large? Because if the latter, I think you’re doing yourself a disservice. Focus on the women…
/r/seduction17/05/25 01:36 PM
-1

I care because everyone deserves to be an effective seducer. Assigning a numerical value to a person you’re attracted to will subconsciously cause your seduction to be inauthentic. The ones who are effective at seduction know this. But the ones who are not as successful pick apart the strategies and advice and get angry instead.
/r/seduction15/05/25 04:09 AM
-2

It’s ironic that OP is highly praised for acknowledging that men are hotter than they think they are because attraction is variable, while at the same time putting a static hotness value on the the women that he targets. It gives a lot of insight as to why members of this community are having the sort of success that they report having.
/r/seduction14/05/25 08:02 PM
-2

Why do you need to rank women? You’re attracted to them or you’re not attracted to them. In your example, your 6, is she a 6 because her teeth are more crooked than the one you ranked an 8? Or is she a 6 because you can’t quite put your finger on why, but you think she is less physically attractive than the one you ranked an 8 (i.e. you are less physically attracted to her)? Would your Dad, your Grandmother, and your sister agree that she’s a 6 and the other one is an 8?
/r/seduction13/05/25 10:16 PM
1

Well, you don’t have to, no. But it is true that women make approaches far far less than men ever do. Just consider though, that your job puts you in a unique position to potentially meet more people than other people with non-customer facing roles would have. Don’t waste that opportunity! Cultivate your curiosity, learn what to say to make people feel good, then figure out how to use those things to make customers have the best shopping experience possible when interacting with you. You’ll noti…
/r/seduction13/05/25 07:08 PM
1

Actually, I have a great story about our local cashier. She flirts with both me and my husband every time we come in. We joke with each other about which one of us she would most like to sleep with. Anyway, on one of our visits, she was giving her number to the guy in front of us in line who had just asked her out.
/r/seduction13/05/25 06:34 PM
1

I guess life is easier when you’re attracted to more people. Looking good isn’t more important than being interesting, and if you rarely flirt with anyone, how is anyone going to find out whether you’re interesting ir not?
/r/seduction13/05/25 06:16 PM
1

And I hate that you number women, as if they have some objective market value. They don’t. Your value and attractiveness to me is very different than your value and attractiveness to the last person you had sex with. Just like your post says.
/r/seduction13/05/25 06:01 PM
2

It could be your attitude holding you back. If you flirt with everyone, rather than waiting to flirt only with women you are attracted to, then you put positive energy out into the world. When you put positive energy out in to the world, it will be seen and responded to, both by women you are attracted to and women you are not.
/r/seduction13/05/25 05:56 PM
6

Be less boring. Consider what you have to offer rather than what you are looking to find. Be curious. Flirt with people who aren’t in your target dating pool to get practice. Flirting is just surprising and delighting people, and making them feel good about themselves. You can flirt with people of any gender and any age.
/r/seduction13/05/25 05:52 PM
4

Except that there’s no such thing as 6s or 8+s. I’m not ignorant enough to think I’m hotter than a 5, but I know that from some peoples’ perspective I would be an 8+, (if, for example, they had to rank me amongst 99 other women). Same with who I am attracted to. I am wildly attracted to some men who are not conventionally attractive, and not at all attracted to some men who would be considered extremely attractive by many women. This subreddit was a lot less shallow before instagram and tiktok a…
/r/seduction13/05/25 05:46 PM
1

Do you think about what you have to offer them, or do you think only about what they have to offer you? Are your personality traits extreme in either direction eg. Hostile or agreeable, social or introverted? Do you exhaust people because you are either too boring or too confrontational?
/r/seduction08/05/25 11:28 AM
2

Okay. You dislike older women not because they play games more than younger women, but because they play games just as often as younger women, and are smarter at it. I’m so sorry you had those bad experiences. Those women suck. Anyway, I explained why you got downvotes
/r/seduction02/05/25 02:09 PM
3

Older women aren’t any more likely to play mind games than younger women. How many older women do you have experience with that leads you to believe that their age is a factor in their behaviour? What sort of mind games did they play? In my opinion, older women are more likely to know themselves and know what they want, so less likely to give mixed signals or change their mind.
/r/seduction02/05/25 11:00 AM
2

Careful! Women aren’t infertile until their mid fifties on average.
/r/seduction02/05/25 10:56 AM
1

Yes. Especially Indian men. Or maybe that’s just because of where I hang out.
/r/seduction02/05/25 10:54 AM
6

Dr. Ian Kerner - She Comes First. Amazing book. He also explains what it is about intercourse that makes women not like it so much and how to adapt the action to bring her more pleasure.
/r/seduction29/04/25 07:01 PM
2

Find a different girlfriend? It’s going to be tough maintaining a strong intimate relationship with someone who doesn’t want to engage in things that bring you great pleasure. For her, you coukd try buying air pulse or clit sucking toy, like a Womanizer or a Satisfyer, and incorporate that into your coupled play, but how will you ensure that YOU get as much pleasure as you deserve in bed? Also experiment with various kinks. I’m not a fan of intercourse myself, which restricts my opportunities fo…
/r/seduction29/04/25 07:00 PM
12

Some people wait for green flags, some people take all of the shots they are inspired to take. If you wait for green flags, you’re limiting your pool of potential partners. You’ll get a higher proportion of positive responses, but a lower number of them.
/r/seduction29/04/25 06:46 AM
4

Also…the weather? Really? If you’re feeling brave, maybe try one of these instead. https://www.rd.com/article/flirty-questions-to-ask-a-girl/
/r/seduction14/04/25 08:38 PM
13

You can date women in their fifties, but usually it’s best to conceal the fact that you only date older women and don’t typically like women your own age. If I hear someone say “I love older women” that’s a turnoff to me because it means they are turned on by my age more than they are turned on by my looks or my personality. On the other hand, you could meet women with the complementary motive of only liking younger men. What do you mean “I worry that they might think I am playing around if I fl…
/r/seduction14/04/25 08:31 PM
1

Sure, I think poly and enm people probably have more complications than single women. But it’s not likely she’ll dump her husband at a moment’s notice, and extremely unlikely that she will cheat on OP. It’s more likely that she will have some unusual boundaries that single people may not have. For example, she may be unable to host, or unable to do overnights.
/r/seduction12/04/25 12:49 PM
0

She’ll “cheat” on you? Lol. Don’t have sex with a married woman if you’re looking for monogamy. If you don’t intend to be monogamous with the women you date, why would you expect them to be monogamous with you?
/r/seduction12/04/25 12:40 PM
1

Yeah, this is a weird take. If her husband doesn’t know, she’d be much better off lying and saying she’s single.
/r/seduction12/04/25 12:36 PM
15

Practice by flirting with women you aren’t interested in dating. The purpose of flirting isn’t to get to know someone better. The purpose of flirting is to laugh, have fun, and make people feel good about themselves.
/r/seduction30/03/25 11:00 PM
2

Yes, this is lovely. Queen and king are super frameworks. You can be nice to me, while still being assertive and always making the decisions that best serve YOU, not the decisons that you think I want you to make. If you let me shape your life to a significant extent, then I’ll think your life is pretty vacant and meaningless. That’s what would make me bored of you, not the fact that you are “nice”.
/r/seduction29/03/25 12:11 PM
1

Think about what you have to offer people instead of thinking what you want from people. If you have nothing to offer, why should people date you?
/r/seduction29/03/25 12:02 PM
1

Being “too accomodating” isn’t exactly the biggest issue. The issue is being so accomodating that you don’t show any personality, and being so sensitive that you’re always asking for reassurance. If you apologize too often, that’s a red flag. If you let me choose what we are doing every time we go out, that’s a red flag. If you ask me what I’d like as a gift instead of coming up with your own idea, that’s a red flag. That person isn’t just too nice. That person is boring and wants me to be his e…
/r/seduction29/03/25 12:00 PM
1

Are you looking for sex or a relationship? That will make a difference. And whether she is ovulating or not will also make a difference in the sorts of traits she is interested in in a partner. Girls like a guy who makes them feel a certain way. It’s less likely that you’ll create strong feelings in her if you’re being a nice guy. Being bold and unexpected will generalpte stronger more memorable feelings. So, I was watching this clip on youtube, and the guy says the things that a lot of people s…
/r/seduction29/03/25 11:52 AM
1

OP means Original post(er) I’m a married woman, so most of what I read here isn’t relevant to my life, it’s just entertainment. But actually, I think this subreddit had much better advice several years ago. A LOT of what I read here these days goes too heavily into game “How do I attract a ten? How do I close an approach? Etc.” whereas a few years ago it was more about finding someone COMPATIBLE with you, and discovering together your core commonalities, then moving the passion forward.
/r/seduction11/03/25 06:41 PM
2

Yeah, that’s cool, but I actually like any of OP’s responses better. They demonstrate confidence to me. But maybe I am just naive.
/r/seduction11/03/25 03:29 PM
2

Yeah. The tricky part isn’t finding horny hedonistic women, the tricky part is convincing them to sleep with you. Be exciting. Make it easy for them to find you, and make it fun for them to interact with you.
/r/seduction11/03/25 07:30 AM
2

Those are some pretty cool suggestions. I don’t even really know what acro yoga and contact improv are, but they sound like a LOT of fun. Any BDSM related group or event is a pretty good bet too. And don’t overlook opportunities to learn about or engage in erotic art. Nude painting class? Course on writing erotica or giving sensual massage? Could be promising.
/r/seduction11/03/25 07:20 AM
1

Oh yes. A shopping date would be so exciting. That’s a great idea. Honestly, that would be a super fun date, helping a guy spend his money.
/r/seduction07/03/25 04:47 PM
1

Agreed. As far as the cooking lessons go, I’d say grocery stores would give the best value. I used to attend free cooking classes at my local Superstore. They were amazing, and I learned some really impressive techniques and got the recipes to go with them. And the dance lessons, I’m having trouble seeing how this translates into upgrading a dating life. They are a nice way to meet people and improve your socialization skills. But so is public speaking, and my personal opinion is that that would…
/r/seduction07/03/25 04:45 PM
1

Well sure, but that can be tricky. Are you talking open marriage, or cheating? There’s either jealousy or guilt to contend with.
/r/seduction01/02/25 05:10 PM
3

For sure. It’s better just to always like yourself more than you like your dates. Become the person you most respect and admire. Having to date more than one woman in order to maintain healthy boundaries just shows you have low self esteem.
/r/seduction27/01/25 08:17 AM
1

Really cute ideas.
/r/seduction18/01/25 06:05 AM
2

“We all wanna be with beautiful girls” is an oversimplification. We all want to be with people who excite us. But it’s also important to us that those people are excited by us. Become an exciting person, then you will attract more people who excite you.
/r/seduction11/01/25 08:50 AM
1

Did you read bout the bridge experiment? If you begin a date by raising the adrenaline, it enhances their arousal. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misattribution_of_arousal
/r/seduction08/01/25 12:45 PM
7

Also people trying to be “high value” men and looking for “high value” partners when they should be looking for quirks they find charming and compatibilities. What’s the point of dating someone “hot” if they don’t have the same communication style and sense of humor that you do?
/r/seduction06/01/25 05:49 PM
1

Being told you really like spending time with me would never be a turn off. But the way you’ve worded it is weak. You don’t need to tell me you will “keep” seeing me. It feels like this is your way of asking me to be monogamous. Is that what you’re asking?
/r/seduction03/01/25 09:58 PM
1

Someone who can make me cum 17 times in a day. Really, it depends on the needs of the woman you are with. Someone with a beautiful smile, great voice, and who has a really unique way of dishing out compliments is what works best for me.
/r/seduction03/01/25 03:19 AM
1

When you show unique value that I’ve never found in another man.
/r/seduction02/01/25 06:10 AM
2

It sounds like you don’t believe that women enjoy having sex. I offer two solutions 1) find something you have to offer a woman that is not sexual. Maybe it is humor or trust or intimacy or confidence or comfort. 2) whenever you have the opportunity to, talk to more women about what sexually pleases them. (Online may be a safer space to do this than in real life) It could very well be that women aren’t interested in the type of sex that you have to offer. So find out what type of sexual experien…
/r/seduction25/12/24 01:11 PM
1

Also, related to number 5, you don’t have enough to offer. If you want to get laid, hire a sex worker. If you want to explore mutually pleasurable sexual experiences with another person, learn what pleases other people, then offer those things to them.
/r/seduction25/12/24 12:59 PM
1

Yeah, I understand what you’re saying. I’m just saying that your understanding of what is “hot” to women may be too narrow in scope. When a woman is deciding which redditor to hook up with out of all the DMs she has received, she’s picking the one who excites her the most. She’s not picking the one with the nicest abs or the strongest jawline first, unless she is unusually visually oriented (in which case I would wonder why she is using reddit to find a FWB and not some more visually oriented ap…
/r/seduction20/12/24 07:11 AM
1

I’m not talking about landing a rich woman. I’m talking about an average looking guy finding a woman on reddit who is DTF. He needs to be flirty and fun more than he needs to be ripped.
/r/seduction20/12/24 06:49 AM
1

Correction: you need to have high value. You don’t need to look any better than average if you have a great voice, excellent communication skills, and can demonstrate that you are sexually generous and creative. You need to understand what people are looking for out of a hookup. Physical attractiveness is just one aspect of it. It’s not a very efficient way to meet people though. There are a LOT of more effective ways to do it.
/r/seduction20/12/24 06:38 AM
0

Paradise by the Dashboard Lights
/r/seduction30/11/24 08:23 AM
13

That’s not a dilemma. You’re not interested in fucking her, and she isn’t available for a relationship, so ignore her. Or, if she distracts you and prevents you from getting work done, ask her to be more careful anout the way in which she touches you. She is either acting inappropriately, or has unusually loose boundaries; it’s impossible to tell just based on YOUR description of her.
/r/seduction21/11/24 05:42 AM
5

Sure, but what’s unattractive? If he makes me feel good about myself and surprises and delights me, that’s attractive. It’s not just about looks. It’s about skill and compatibility.
/r/seduction19/11/24 04:29 PM
13

A guy who’s a creep is a guy who is asking for something I that I’m not interested in (and being persistent about it). You can avoid being a creep by not being so persistent. But you may miss out in opportunities that way. Or you can avoid feeling like a creep by attributing my disinterest in you as simply an incompatibility. Or you can work on your social skills and get better at offering women what they actually want and being persistent when the odds of it paying off are better.
/r/seduction19/11/24 04:22 PM
1

Yes. It won’t work on dominant women. But for anyone who likes submissive women, it’s a good skill to have.
/r/seduction15/11/24 03:18 AM
1

About a third of the clips in that montage are scripted, and of the remaining ones, at least a third of them specifically call out the discipline as part of what is attractive. And that’s not counting where the discipline attracts them but it’s not shown in the clip or they never say that part out loud. Show me a guy with pec implants, ab implants, or otherwise easily gained positive physical traits and I’m pretty sure I’m just instinctually less attracted to him than the guy who works out whose…
/r/seduction14/11/24 01:51 PM
1

Um, yeah. Have you checked my comment history? I love attractive men. But what I love even more is attractive men with functional strength and the right attitude to dom me properly. Pretty boys are a complete snooze. Parkour artists are what really turns me on.
/r/seduction14/11/24 01:32 PM
2

Very good advice. But are you sure it makes “hot” women lust after you? /s, sort of. If a guy is looking to attract physically attractive girls, maximizing his physical attractiveness may be the best strategy. But if he wants an emotionally aware woman to lust after him, your advice is spot on.
/r/seduction13/11/24 04:59 AM
1

I promise you no woman is ooglibg over a ripped dude thinking about his discipline. I’d lust MUCH more over a guy with good posture than I would a guy with great abs. But I’m not a “7” or above so I expect I am irrelevant to you anyway.
/r/seduction13/11/24 04:54 AM
65

Interesting. When people ask what physical characteristics I like in a man, I often mention a strong core and good posture. It really doesn’t matter to me what his abs look like, but I love to watch the way he moves.
/r/seduction12/11/24 02:34 PM
4

I lust after the ones who can make me cum multiple times per hour. I compliment the ones who compliment me. There is very little correlation between the objective physical attractiveness of a man and how much I am sexually attracted to him. It takes time. I’m not lusting after anyone I can see across the room, or that I just met, only lusting after the ones that I already know can drive me wild. Have you read She Comes First by Dr. Ian Kerner? Can you make a woman cum on demand? That’s an underr…
/r/seduction12/11/24 02:28 PM
1

Agreed. I think the first one is much better. The second one would work only if he’s incredibly hot.
/r/seduction05/11/24 01:06 PM
2

You can be genuinely interested in anybody. You’re a stranger. I’m interested in you. It means I am curious. I want to share my ideas and I want to hear yours. If you want a ONS, you need to show that you have something to offer. You can’t rely on your stunning good looks.
/r/seduction05/11/24 01:03 PM
1

Wild idea, but have you thought about becoming a pleasure dom? Then they won’t be having unfulfilling sex with you just to keep you around longer, but instead, they’ll be achieving the ultimate pleasure due to your generous attention to their erotic responses and sexual needs.
/r/seduction15/10/24 02:25 PM
1

Exactly. This is a beautiful solution. I’d love a date like that.
/r/seduction05/10/24 05:37 PM
4

What do you mean by nice? Of course nice guys can get girls. If a guy is hesitant and apologetic, that’s not going to be a good strategy for sleeping with me. But if he is curious and generous and playful and persuasive while still being respectful of my boundaries, then I’m going to assume he is going to be very very good about giving me multiple orgasms.
/r/seduction13/09/24 02:19 PM
1

I know this will lkkely get a lot of downvotes, but I have to say this is excellent advice. Except you missed the point that even if there IS a higher league and a lower league, it’s unlikely that everybody in the higher league is better than everbody in the “lower” league. They might think they are better, or you might think they are better, but they could have sustained an injury, or their performance has been slacking lately, or it was all just an illusion to begin with.
/r/seduction29/08/24 04:32 PM
0

Yeah, I don’t get it. There are no women out of your league. Play in whatever league you want.
/r/seduction29/08/24 04:24 PM
0

If you’re looking for a serious relationship, “gaming” them is probably not your best option. Look for partners at places where you have shared interests. It’s funny to me that your target age range is of such high importance. Do you have trauma associated with dating women in your own age range?
/r/seduction21/08/24 10:45 PM
1

They go like that if you use a guide to achieve a strategy, not if you rely on chemistry to find a mutual passion. Either are valid strategies. Depends if you want game or connection. Looks to me like they both wanted to fuck. Mission accomplished.
/r/seduction17/08/24 07:20 AM
13

So, in the context of the original question, the “average” women who “should be” dating average men are choosing instead to date “above average” men who are either partnered or were very recently partnered. Above average men are dating above average women AND average women, and average women are mostly just dating above average men. Is that right?
/r/seduction14/08/24 02:21 PM
13

Why are there 10x as many men on the apps as women? Are women not on the apps because they’d rather be single than dating? Or are a signifcant proportion of thise men already in relationships? Or?
/r/seduction14/08/24 01:42 PM
-11

Do women have more choices available than men? Is there a woman shortage?
/r/seduction14/08/24 01:37 PM
11

Yeah. His date in that clip bored me to tears. I’m impressed he had the stamina to keep the conversation going that long. But they had the same goal. he just knew it would take her a while to admit that her goal was the same as his.
/r/seduction14/08/24 06:12 AM
20

Well, he’s formulaic. I think he looks boring because his goal is to land women whether or not he has chemistry with him. Probably those interactions he has where there is chemistry end up looking a lot more exciting than the ones where he keeps the game going either for the camera or because he wants sex, but where there is no real connection and compatibility with the person. He can pick up a lot of women, but, let’s be honest. A good proportion of the women he is picking up are incompatible w…
/r/seduction14/08/24 06:01 AM
27

Personally, I really like Todd V Dating. In this video you can watch how one of his dates responds to his flirtation techniques. It’s pretty cool! https://youtu.be/YpMwUzAct48?si=PsHEGhC4qg1ArGSt
/r/seduction14/08/24 05:25 AM
3

Oooh, yeah. That’s so well put. There are any number of emotions to choose from! Lately I’ve been making random connections on snapchat, and the number of men who expect me to entertain them is tragic. “Hey, what’s up?” is so lame compared to “I saw this woman at the park that reminded me of you”
/r/seduction14/08/24 05:10 AM
8

This subreddit gave better advice fifteen years ago. You can nudge a person closer to being “into you” by being interesting and by making her feel good about herself. There aren’t many tips in this subreddit these days on how to more easily achieve one of those goals.
/r/seduction31/07/24 05:52 PM
1

It could teach you that your type is too narrow. Start approaching girls close to your type and you may find you like them more than you thought you would. If you can’t find 100 girls your type, you may not be searching hard enough, or you may deserve to end up sad and lonely because you are narrow-minded, judgmental, and not curious. Edit: reviewing your post history, I see some really troubled signs that you don’t respect yourself. I’d like you to get some help with your mental health. I’d lik…
/r/seduction18/07/24 10:45 AM
3

I don’t think he was eating perfectly-cooked medium rare prime rib. He was looking for perfectly-cooked medium rare prime rib and ended up eating a lot of steak while looking for it. He’s tired of eating steak now because he’s frustrated that he never did find the perfectly-cooked medium rare prime rib that he hought he would find. He probably picked the steak based on its appearance or other superficial attributes. So, although he has great skill at eating a lot of steak, his prime rib is elusi…
/r/seduction12/05/24 09:09 PM
1

If she says NO, you stop. If there is a neutral response, then you either stop or step back and make her more comfortable then try again from a different perspective.
/r/seduction17/07/23 06:58 PM
1

It’s the difference between having a lot of sex and not having much sex. If your goal with seduction is to begin a relationship, then you’d use different strategies than if your goal is to find someone to sleep with. But I see this post as mainly a getting laid guide, not a gaining a relationship guide. If you’ve already formed an initial bond with someone, but then you say something overtly sexual which you can tell makes her uncomfortable, then your odds of success are better if you stick with…
/r/seduction17/07/23 06:12 AM
2

To level up from that, no, you don’t stop. You take a couple steps back, you soothe, then you try again from a different angle once you sense her comfort has returned. It’s much more difficult than OP makes it sound like.
/r/seduction17/07/23 05:47 AM
22

It’s a real art to recover once you’ve made a move that makes a woman uncomfortable. First, you need to recognize that she is uncomfortable. Then you need to find a way to soothe (praise, or self depricate, or change topic, or reframe). Then you need to recognize when she has been appropriately soothed. Then you need to have the balls to get freaky again, and risk going through all of these steps another time.
/r/seduction17/07/23 05:43 AM
2

A big part of what’s missing in the OP is that you need to be able to read her comfort so that you call tell whether to escalate or soothe. Of course women are freaky, but they move st vastly different speeds, and you won’t have success if you can’t match her speed by pulling back once you realize you’ve said something too intense. You pull back a step, but then keep making more steps forward again.
/r/seduction17/07/23 05:36 AM
1

Your pessimism and lack of interest in discussing things could be the reason. I only engage with people who can see the delights in little moments, and who enjoy intellectual exploration.
/r/seduction23/06/23 01:24 AM
1

Lift weights. Learn a new language (or take a course in anything). Engage in a competitive sport. Get a promotion at work.
/r/seduction19/06/23 11:53 PM
1

I expect it is becuase your testosterone levels are elevated Similar to why strippers get more tips while they are ovulating.
/r/seduction19/06/23 11:50 PM
5

Women are irresponsible. If you want to look at it that way, okay. But it will color the way you interact with women. If instead look at it as “women are surprising and unpredicaptable” as OP does, it will lead you to have much different sorts of interactions with them.
/r/seduction20/04/23 06:07 AM
0

Ah yes, I see what you mean. It depends how intensely they hold onto those thoughts. If they refuse to acknowledge that pants with pockets exist, for example, then yes they are irresponsible. But if they are simply complaining that the pants they like well enough to want to buy don’t have pockets, then it generally won’t impede their wellbeing to a significant amount. Especially not if they don’t mind carrying around a bag of some sort wherever they go.
/r/seduction20/04/23 05:48 AM
8

Nice try, but no. The long story short is that we have irrational wants. That’s quite different from being irresponsible. I’ve never failed to handle my responsibilities simply because my pants lacked pockets.
/r/seduction20/04/23 05:14 AM
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