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| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 5 | GAL questionGuardian ad litems are appointed to represent the best interest of the child, but courts generally recognize that their findings/recommendations are not binding. If a party believes that a GAL is neglecting their duties, misrepresenting the facts, or not responding to communications, courts may allow motions to challenge the GAL's conduct, request a review, or seek reassignment. Documentation of communication attempts, invoices, and any evidence of incomplete work can be helpful if raising conce… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/11/25 03:47 PM |
| 1 | Should I file an Emergency Motion for kids' passports and consent?In many custody cases, parents are required to provide passports or other travel documents when international travel is scheduled according to the parenting time schedule. If a parent refuses, options can include sending a formal demand through an attorney, or in urgent situations filing an emergency or expedited motion within the court. Courts generally look at whether or not the notice was given in accordance with the custody order and whether the travel is consistent with the existing schedul… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/11/25 03:42 PM |
| 1 | Advice/Question for the group on Temporary SupportI cannot speak to your lawyer's judgement, or the specifics of the situation. What I can say is that lawyers tend to have a good handle on strategy and working with the judge on behalf of the client. I may be biased, but I would consider trusting the judgement of the attorney you've been working with. If he says that the court will not accept it, he may be right. “The above information does not constitute an attorney-client relationship, it is merely for information purposes.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/25 04:24 PM |
| 1 | Changing monthly expensesThis is inaccurate. "Spousal abuse" in this context has nothing to do with changing the payment structure you both with settle on in your divorce. I would at least inform your attorney of this information next time you talk to them, it may reduce but not eliminate your obligations in the separation. But it is not spousal abuse to bring this point up in the settlement agreement. “The above information does not constitute an attorney-client relationship, it is merely for information purposes.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/08/25 07:30 PM |
| 1 | Divorce finalized 1 year ago. Am I financially safe or can she come back for more?It depends on the agreement, but if it is finalized, then you are likely "safe". She cannot claim anything for the increase in value on the home if that was awarded to you in the finalized agreement. The only thing that can likely be modified is child support payments, and that requires a significant change in circumstances on your ex-partner's part. “The above information does not constitute an attorney-client relationship, it is merely for information purposes.” | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/25 08:19 PM |
| 1 | Financial helpWhen it comes to divorces, divisible property, including debts, are what is called marital property. Marital property is divided equitably amongst the spouse, not always equally. For example, if the credit card debt is in one person's name and was only used for their own consumption, that will likely remain with that person and not be split. But if you are both on the mortgage and both contributed to the mortgage, it will likely be split between you. The courts consider a myriad of factors thoug… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/07/25 06:09 PM |
| 3 | Divorcing a Difficult WomanFirstly, your ex-partner cannot force you to get a vasectomy, that's not rooted in caselaw, tradition, or really in any legal principle. She cannot control your body or your reproductive abilities. Additionally, please consider representation, especially with the EPO and the young children involved. I don't think you need to give as much as you are giving in this situation but if you're comfortable with the split and just want the process over, consider memorializing your agreement and submittin… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/07/25 07:23 PM |
| 2 | She refuses to move out.If they are divorced and he has paid the divorce settlement, and that did not include the house: consider serving her with an eviction notice and staying somewhere else while eviction proceedings move forward. He should consider not staying in the house while there's this contentious issue between them. He should consider moving forward with eviction proceedings since she is not titled on any of the property and has no legal claim to the property. “The above information does not constitute an at… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/07/25 06:57 PM |
| 7 | I feel like I’m being punishedPlease consider getting a second opinion. While it's true that she will likely walk away with more than 50% because she is the primary caregiver of the children, makes less than you, and has more significant debt, the court should also take into account who created that debt and for what purpose. If the debt you're referencing is for care of the children, and childcare, that's more relevant to the court than if it is for personal use. The amounts you're referencing for child support, alimony and… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/07/25 06:43 PM |
| 1 | Wife wont move out of the family home that I own.Two topics are touched upon here: (1) what are the first steps in filing for a divorce? And, (2) under what conditions can one spouse evict another from the marital home during a divorce? In particular, does exclusive ownership of the marital home by one spouse prior to marriage entitle that spouse to evict the other spouse? Regarding (1), in most states the first step in seeking a divorce is filing a divorce petition with a court in the state where both spouses live. Many states have a requirem… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/25 10:09 PM |
| 6 | Sharing nudes posted on OF in self defenseMost states in the United States allow "no fault" divorces, meaning there does not need grounds to file for a divorce. Here is a map showcasing such. No-Fault Divorce States 2025 In terms of Only Fans and its involvement in the divorce, it is highly dependent on why it is introduced to the Court. If such evidence is a not for establishing fault/causation for divorce in a fault-based divorce state, it is not necessary to use in a court proceeding. In terms of ownership of pornography self publish… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/04/25 09:01 PM |
| 1 | Spouse Cheated/Now Hiding FinancesHello! This post does not serve as legal advice, and I will provide general information that may or may not be of assistance: Dissipation: When one party takes marital money, and uses it for a non-marital purpose, that is referred to as "Dissipation." This often takes the form of taking marital money, and hiding/secreting it to an account exclusively controlled by one party, and thereafter used for purposes not related to the marriage. Ways to Uncover Dissipation: During a divorce, parties are a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/04/25 08:42 PM |
| 2 | Medical recordsIn Illinois - also a no-fault divorce state - medical records should only be disclosed if they are relevant to the matter that is in controversy in the case. In a divorce context, there are very limited circumstances where medical records are relevant to the matter at hand. One such hypothetical example: if an individual is disabled or cannot work, and is using such position to argue for a reduction in maintenance payments (formerly referred to as alimony), then there is a relevance to disclosin… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/03/25 09:12 PM |
| 1 | Texas - Child Support?In Texas, child support is typically calculated based on the paying parent's net income, following a formula outlined in the Texas Family Code. The standard percentage for two children is 25% of the non-custodial parent's net income. courts, however, can consider deviations from the guidelines in specific circumstances, such as significant income disparities between the parents. Standard Calculation for Two Kids The paying parent's annual income of $100,000 is used to calculate net income, which… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/12/24 07:51 PM |
| 1 | What to do if she drains the bank account?(part 2) Assessing Financial Misconduct -Courts often consider whether one spouse’s actions constitute something called "dissipation of assets." -->Dissipation occurs when marital funds are spent on personal gain or in ways that do not benefit the marriage, *especially during or in anticipation of divorce* -If this is proven, courts may offset the division of marital assets to compensate the other spouse Collecting Evidence -As mentioned above, evidence is key in any legal action concerning join… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/12/24 04:15 PM |
| 1 | What to do if she drains the bank account?When one spouse unilaterally removes funds from a joint bank account before or during divorce proceedings, several legal and financial considerations come up. While specifics will definitely depend on state and county jurisdiction, here is a detailed discussion of next steps, options, etc.: Understand Joint Bank Account Rights -Joint bank accounts generally grant each account holder full access to the funds, allowing either party to withdraw or manage the balance independently & both account hol… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/12/24 04:15 PM |
| 4 | Wife wants M-F, I want 50/50. How to get her to agree?In situations involving custody, the focus should always be on what is in the best interest of the children (and this is the court's view as well). A few factors worth considering: It can be helpful to highlight that both parents' consistent involvement is crucial for the children's emotional and psychological development. A 50/50 custody arrangement allows both parents to maintain strong relationships with the children, provide balanced routines, & offer a sense of stability. While concerns abo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/12/24 07:21 PM |
| 1 | We want to split fairly. How do we decide what is fair?As mentioned, here is a detailed breakdown re: Oregon's equitable distribution laws: Oregon considers most property acquired during the marriage to be classified as marital property, regardless of whose name is on the title or who paid for it. (This includes real estate, income, retirement accounts, and even debts) Property owned by one spouse before the marriage or received as an individual gift or inheritance is generally considered separate property and are not subject to division However, se… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/12/24 03:55 PM |
| 1 | We want to split fairly. How do we decide what is fair?A few key areas to consider when attempting to split assets amicably and without the involvement of attorneys includes assessing property division, financial contributions, and shared responsibilities during the marriage. I've provided a detailed breakdown here of some relevant considerations and steps to take when going through this process: Property and Assets Identify whether the home is considered marital property (property acquired during the marriage and subject to division) or separate pr… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/12/24 03:37 PM |
| 7 | Need advice: wife left me with the kidsWhen a separation occurs and children are involved, it can create concerns regarding custody, living arrangements, and financial support. If one parent relocates & the children remain with the other parent, it’s important to understand the next steps in order to ensure the children's well-being, legal custody, and financial stability moving forward. Here's a detailed list of imperative steps to consider: Consult with a Family Law Attorney -If there are concerns about custody, financial support, … | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/12/24 07:51 PM |
| 1 | Ex is trying to change jobsFor someone anticipating a potential hearing to increase child support, preparation could focus on understanding the factors that courts consider and ensuring readiness to address those concerns effectively. Key considerations might include: Custody and School Stability: Courts generally prioritize the child’s best interests. Demonstrating the benefits of maintaining the current custody arrangement and school placement may help support arguments for stability, especially if the child is thriving… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/24 02:45 PM |
| 1 | Advice pleaseIn Illinois, a father can seek custody (now legally referred to as allocation of parental responsibilities) of his child through the courts, and the decision is made based on what is in the best interest of the child. Here’s a breakdown of the steps and considerations for a father seeking custody: Understand the Types of Custody: - Legal Custody (Parental Responsibilities): This refers to the right to make major decisions regarding the child’s welfare, including education, healthcare, religion, … | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/24 03:59 AM |
| 1 | Can Judge Order Sale Of Home At Less Than Market Value?In Illinois, a judge typically cannot force the sale of marital property for less than its fair market value unless there are specific circumstances that justify such a decision. Generally, the goal is to divide the marital property in a way that is fair and equitable, which usually involves selling property at its fair market value to ensure both spouses receive a fair share. However, in certain situations, a judge may order the sale of marital property at less than its market value. This could… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/24 02:58 AM |
| 1 | How do i go about dealing with probable adultery between U.S embassy coworker and my wife?As far as it relates to the legal situation of divorce, Illinois courts don't punish infidelity because the state follows a "no-fault" divorce system. In a no-fault divorce, the court does not consider the reasons for the breakdown of the marriage (such as infidelity) when making decisions about divorce or dividing assets. The focus is on whether the marriage is irretrievably broken, rather than assigning blame for misconduct. However, while infidelity doesn't directly affect the divorce process… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/24 02:51 AM |
| 1 | Men who pay Child Support - What do you pay per month?In Illinois, child support is calculated based on a statutory guideline that takes into account the income of the parents and the number of children requiring support. Illinois uses an Income Shares Model, which is designed to ensure that children receive the same proportion of parental income as they would have if the parents were still together. Below is an explanation of how child support is calculated in Illinois: Income Shares Model: The primary method for calculating child support in Illin… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/24 02:47 AM |
| 1 | equity settlementIn Illinois, gifts given to one spouse during the marriage are generally considered non-marital property, provided they were given by a third party (e.g., a family member) specifically to one spouse, and there is clear intent that the gift is for the individual spouse, not the couple. This can include gifts such as jewelry, heirlooms, or money from family members. However, if a gift is used in a way that benefits both spouses or is co-mingled with marital assets (for example, placed in a joint b… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/24 02:36 AM |
| 1 | Who has to pay their spouses health insurance? This is the real dealbreaker for me.In Illinois, there is no automatic requirement that one spouse must continue paying for the other spouse’s health insurance after a divorce. However, there are a few potential scenarios in which health insurance coverage could be a factor in a divorce settlement: Spousal Support (Alimony): If one spouse is awarded spousal support, it may include provisions for health insurance if the recipient spouse cannot afford it or needs coverage after the divorce. COBRA Coverage: If one spouse was covered … | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/11/24 10:03 PM |
| 1 | Post divorce change in custody orderYes, it is possible to modify parenting time after a divorce is finalized in Illinois, but it requires demonstrating a significant change in circumstances. To request a modification of parenting time, you would need to file a petition with the court that issued the original parenting plan. Illinois courts generally prioritize the best interests of the child when considering such requests. The key factors that may support a change in parenting time include: Change in the child’s needs: If the chi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/11/24 09:46 PM |
| 1 | During the divorce process, can a second job effect anythingYes, a second job can affect child support payment amounts in Illinois. Child support calculations are based on the income of the noncustodial parent, so if that parent takes on a second job, it can increase their overall income, which may lead to a higher child support obligation. In Illinois, child support is typically calculated as a percentage of the noncustodial parent’s net income, with the percentages varying based on the number of children. If the parent’s income increases due to a secon… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/11/24 09:37 PM |
| 1 | Filed for divorce - She is refusing to negotiate.If a spouse does not have a job at the time of divorce, they will typically get imputed a salary by the court for purposes of financial negotiations. If a spouse is refusing to negotiate divorce settlement terms in Illinois, there are several steps you can take: Attempt Mediation: In Illinois, mediation is often encouraged or required by the court. Mediation involves a neutral third-party mediator who helps facilitate communication and negotiation between the spouses. This can be an effective wa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/11/24 08:37 PM |
| 1 | Do I pay alimony even though wife refuses to work?The court may order alimony (also called spousal maintenance) in a divorce, but whether or not it is awarded and the amount depends on several factors, including both spouses' financial situations. If a spouse refuses to work, it could affect the alimony determination in a few ways: Need and Ability to Pay: The court looks at the spouse requesting maintenance's need for support and the other spouse's ability to pay. If the spouse refusing to work could be earning income but chooses not to, the c… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/11/24 08:21 PM |
| 2 | Kids at age 14 can "decide who they live with." How does this work?In Illinois, children do not directly choose which parent they live with during a custody dispute. However, the court may take the child's preferences into account depending on their age and maturity. According to Illinois law, the court can consider the wishes of a child age 14 or older when determining custody, though it is not required to follow the child's preference. For children younger than 14, their preferences may still be considered, but other factors, such as the child’s best interest… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/11/24 09:19 PM |
| 1 | Divorce filingIn Illinois, when a couple is going through a divorce, one spouse may be ordered to pay the legal costs or attorney fees of the other spouse, depending on the circumstances. The purpose is to ensure that both parties have equal access to legal representation, especially if one spouse has significantly fewer financial resources. Here's how it generally works: Attorney Fees and Costs: Legal costs in a divorce can include attorney fees, court filing fees, and other expenses related to the divorce p… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/11/24 09:10 PM |
| 1 | Divorce filingAlimony, also known as spousal maintenance in Illinois, is financial support paid by one spouse to the other after a divorce or legal separation. The purpose of alimony is to help the lower-earning spouse maintain a similar standard of living to what they were accustomed to during the marriage, and to help them become financially independent. In Illinois, spousal maintenance is determined based on a few factors, including: Length of the marriage: Longer marriages typically lead to longer periods… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/11/24 09:09 PM |
| 1 | What is your attorneys hourly rate and how much have you paid already?Attorney rates vary by location, specialization, and many other factors. Generally speaking, they tend to be around the $250-$800 range. a deposit of $3,500 for a retainer is usually the minimum and will need to be replenished with a degree of frequency due to the cost of things like: -the secondary consultation (the initial consult is sometimes free of charge) -the review of the file and the court docket (if it's an existing case) -preparing a litigation plan -the drafting of pleadings -communi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/11/24 12:59 AM |
| 1 | Financial AffidavitIn Illinois, financial affidavits (also known as financial disclosure statements) are an important part of the divorce process, as they provide the court with an accurate picture of each party’s financial situation. These affidavits help determine matters such as child support, spousal maintenance, property division, and other financial issues. Financial affidavits need to be updated at various stages of the divorce process to ensure that the court has the most current and accurate information. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/11/24 12:30 AM |
| 2 | Does cheating affect anything during a divorce?Illinois courts don't punish infidelity because the state follows a "no-fault" divorce system. In a no-fault divorce, the court does not consider the reasons for the breakdown of the marriage (such as infidelity) when making decisions about divorce or dividing assets. The focus is on whether the marriage is irretrievably broken, rather than assigning blame for misconduct. However, while infidelity doesn't directly affect the divorce process in Illinois, it may influence related matters, such as … | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/11/24 12:03 AM |
| 1 | Custody & Mental Health TreatmentDepending on the circumstances, a parent receiving mental health treatment can affect child custody allocations in Illinois, but it doesn't automatically disqualify that parent from having custody or parenting time. In Illinois, child custody decisions are based on the best interests of the child, and mental health is just one factor that the court may consider when determining custody and parenting time. Mental Health and Parenting Ability: Illinois courts are concerned with whether a parent's … | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/11/24 11:59 PM |
| 1 | Illinois Divorce AttorneysIllinois courts don't punish infidelity because the state follows a "no-fault" divorce system. In a no-fault divorce, the court does not consider the reasons for the breakdown of the marriage (such as infidelity) when making decisions about divorce or dividing assets. The focus is on whether the marriage is irretrievably broken, rather than assigning blame for misconduct. However, while infidelity doesn't directly affect the divorce process in Illinois, it may influence related matters, such as … | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/11/24 10:27 PM |
| 2 | Recommendations for divorce lawyer in IllinoisMarital property and marital debt is distinguished from non-marital by the timeframe of when it was acquired, among other things. Further, marital debt is split by what is fair, not by splitting it equally 50/50. What is fair is debatable and based on various factors, such as individual incomes. An experienced divorce attorney can guide a client through the process of splitting finances. Child custody and support will be decided based on what is in the best interests of the child and the financi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/24 02:06 AM |
| 1 | Divorce in IllinoisThe ideal situation for any divorcing couple is for the split to be amicable and the divorce to be uncontested. There are also mediation options. However, when there appears to be a contested divorce, issues of money will arise and it is important to begin financial planning for the litigation and beyond as divorce proceedings may accumulate a hefty price tag. For alimony, The basic formula in Illinois is fairly simple: (33% of the payer's net income) – (25% of the recipient's net income) = the … | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/11/24 01:56 AM |
| 2 | Lawyer for mutual representation or file ourselves?There is a conflict of interest for an attorney to represent both sides in a divorce proceeding, so what some divorcing couples opt for instead is a mediation process wherein a neutral third party helps to facilitate a negotiation. This does not replace the need for a formal divorce filing, which can technically be done without the assistance of counsel, but is not advisable as there are many nuances which divorcing couples must navigate that an experienced legal professional can help guide them… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/10/24 04:28 PM |
| 1 | Any luck modifying alimony?Courts have discretion to modify an existing spousal maintenance order if there is a substantial change of circumstances after the entry of the original order. The obligor cannot simply stop paying when circumstances change. Rather he or she must file a motion to modify spousal maintenance, which lays out the basis of the request for a change. The court will weigh the following factors in order to determine whether a substantial change of circumstances has occurred so as to justify modification … | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 10:53 PM |
| 2 | Illinois alimony/maintence calculationThe basic formula for alimony in Illinois is: (33% of the payer's net income) – (25% of the recipient's net income) = the yearly maintenance paid. One condition to this is that the amount awarded cannot cause the receiving spouse to earn more than 40% of the couple's combined net income. The above information does not constitute an attorney-client relationship, it is merely for information purposes. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/10/24 10:48 PM |
| 3 | I want to divorce from my wife. What is the quickest and most painless way to do this?Your state could offer options for a joint filing. If you and your wife agree on everything you can do things quickly, I can't speak to "painless." Your state may have a mandatory waiting period prior to granting a divorce so you should look out for that but otherwise, if you make it clear to the court that you both agree on everything, it can be pretty quick in light of the situation. The important thing to do is to get any agreement in writing that you submit to the court so that it is enforce… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/07/24 05:31 PM |
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