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OTB1974 Archive

View 2 posts and 16 comments by OTB1974 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
11

OTB1974/r/Divorce_Men06/05/22 03:10 PM
3

OTB1974/r/Divorce_Men20/07/22 07:16 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Yeah, definitely prepared for fireworks, but the difference in calculator CS alone is significant enough to warrant the fees — alimony impact is probably even greater. Was already high conflict, false allegations flung at me, parental alienation, etc., so should be explosive, but it’s not like it wasn’t already.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/22 04:28 AM
1

Thanks — the change is definitely material enough that the legal fees would be worth it
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/22 01:41 AM
1

Thanks — we do have a signed agreement from mediation, but it is high level and states that an MSA will follow and spell everything out. MSA will supersede any prior agreements, per the attorneys. She has not disclosed her new pay to me and has made efforts to conceal it, but I found out about it through the grapevine; I do not know if she knows that I know. Would definitely prefer to address before everything is divided up, as a modification would be a headache, esp. w/ alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/22 01:22 AM
1

Helpful response, sounds analogous. Had you signed anything in mediation or prior to being offered your new job? What would the scenario have been if you had accepted the job, AND disclosed it — would things still have been up for renegotiation, or no, since there would have been no fraud?
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/22 12:59 AM
1

GA. Mediation agreement said attorneys would prepare MSA afterward. Not notarized
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/22 08:56 PM
3

Second this. You have to balance making it simple enough for others to understand, but accurate. When I was doing consultations, half the attorneys I spoke to didn’t really understand that alimony is post-tax after the Trump tax code changes — don’t assume any of the attorneys or in the court understands your finances as well as you do. If you are both W-2 employees, put together a simple post-divorce income exhibit, five lines: gross pay federal taxes (include income tax, FICA, CTC offset, EITC…
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/22 12:48 PM
20

The “let’s be friends” stuff is indeed frustrating, but I’d say just nod and smile (or grey rock it), then enforce your boundaries once things are final and she has moved out. You’d gain little by telling her right now that you don’t want to be friends, and you’d stand to lose a lot (namely, making the process more contentious). Pretty good chance she doesn’t mean it anyway, and is just saying it to make herself feel better. As for the dating — mine was meeting up for dates within a week of me f…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/22 01:53 PM
1

Helpful perspective. Will your kids still be in school 2.5 years out? Do you feel pretty confident your ex will honor the decree, or do you think you’re looking at another court date in 2.5 years to enforce it?
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/22 01:31 PM
1

That’s what I was trying to do by buying her out — I could just barely afford to do that, and would allow kids to stay in the home when they’re with me (aiming for 50-50). She took that as a personal affront, she’s more attached to the home than I am. If we sell, I can also give her a bigger share of the proceeds to accomplish the same thing. If she put some effort into finding a job and lived frugally for a couple years, she could hang onto that lump sum and would be able to buy a place of her …
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/22 03:11 AM
1

Talked to our bank, she’d still have to qualify. Quitclaim would just take care of the title, not the mortgage. Every attorney I’ve talked with (mine, plus those I had consultations with) said it would be very unlikely that a judge in our area would order a deferred sale, especially with no kids in high school
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/22 02:54 AM
2

Was that in lieu of alimony, or in exchange for other assets? Wouldn’t be too bad if you got something else in return (not an option in my case, unfortunately)
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/22 12:43 AM
2

Not enough other assets to offset the home equity. But even if I gave up my equity stake, it’s doubtful she’d qualify for a mortgage — SAHM who could work but hasn’t made an effort to. CS probably wouldn’t even cover the current mortgage refinanced at today’s rates, and any reasonable alimony number still wouldn’t cover her. Plus we have significant debt (a lot of it from improving the home) — she definitely couldn’t qualify for a loan if she took any of that on, but if I kept it all, I couldn’t…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/22 08:49 PM
1

It happened in a couple of stages for me. First, when she told me out of the blue she “wanted a break.” We had what was far and away the strongest relationship among any of our family or friends, and lots to be happy about (both in decent shape, I had a high income, cool hobbies and shared interests, frequent and great sex all the way to the end, very balanced parenting/chore responsibilities, both had our own friends/life outside the marriage, both strongly committed to self-improvement). She h…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/22 06:00 PM
8

100%. Good to know I’m not the only dude who would see it this way
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/22 05:01 PM
6

Lucky you. Mine doesn’t understand finances and just assumed she could assume the mortgage that was in my name. We’re 5-digits into legal fees already, many spent just to convince her that I am not lying about the loan not being assumable
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/22 04:58 PM
3

My thoughts exactly. Couldn’t imagine being ordered to defer 12 years, don’t see an upside to it either.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/22 04:53 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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