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OYSFFFS Archive

View 0 posts and 41 comments by OYSFFFS on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

OYS 11 30yo, 5’10, 75kg, with SO 8 years, engaged 5 years but not married, no kids. Previous OYS Read: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Horns’s 1st year of OYS, The Rational Male, WISNIFG, Atomic Habits, SGM, Mating in Captivity Reading: NMMNG (re-read, this time actually doing the BFAs) Lifting Main compounds: Bench press (2x5@65kg + 2x5@70kg), Squat (4x8@75kg), Sumo DL (4x6@105kg), OHP (3x5@45kg + 1x3@50), Neutral grip pull ups (4x6@5kg). Martial arts: 2.5 hrs, 2 times per week. Social Mid-week, I wen…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/05/22 09:24 AM
1

Let me guess. Your plan was to do something like start talking about it yourself...or talk about some extreme example of someone else jerking off 10x/day in the hopes that he offered up the information on his own, without you asking. If this sounds about right, ask yourself if that approach creeps in to the rest of your life. Nope, we have the kind of relationship where we can just come out and say shit and it doesn't matter. I'm just going to ask him. He could be bullshitting and I'll never kno…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/22 01:45 PM
1

That's all fair enough, and I totally see where you're coming from. I actually was wondering how much the guy jerks off/watches porn, and was going to try and find out (in the least weird way possible) when I see him this weekend. I don't think it's impossible for low-libido guys to exist though. Most characteristics exist across a bell curve distribution, and there are surely outliers.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/22 03:34 PM
1

Normally I'd agree with you, but this friend of mine has always been a completely open book about everything, including sex. He's embodies authenticity, will call you out on bullshit, is confident in himself, etc. He's in no way shy or reserved. I can see why you might not, but I 100% believe he's sincere.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/22 02:53 PM
1

OYS 10 30yo, 5’10, 75kg, with SO 8 years, engaged 5 years but not married, no kids. Previous OYS Read: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Horns’s 1st year of OYS, The Rational Male, WISNIFG, Atomic Habits, SGM, Mating in Captivity Reading: NMMNG (re-read, this time actually doing the BFAs) Lifting Main compounds: Bench press (3x5@65kg + 1x5@70kg), Squat (4x8@75kg), Sumo DL (4x6@105kg), OHP (4x5@45kg), Neutral grip pull ups (4x6@5kg). Martial arts: 2.5 hrs, 2 times per week. We did side kicks this week, wh…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/22 08:11 AM
1

I know exactly who would be in line to take my wife's place if our relationship ended. Okay thanks, that actually clears a lot up. I've got a lot to digest here.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 09:52 PM
1

I certainly understand all of that, but presumably, you were once in a situation similar to my own. Your needs were not being met in your relationship. You spent time taking action to make yourself more attractive, and eventually your wife recognised it, your relationship improved and your needs were met. So, I guess my point is that what I am aiming for is achievable. You're a testament to that.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 09:01 PM
1

Is there something in the sidebar on ego that I'm missing? I can't seem to find a relevant resource here.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 08:30 PM
1

Thanks man, I appreciate your insight, particularly if you were in a similar position/mindset to me. Listen. You are trying too hard to impress your girlfriend. It's weak, and it poisons all your interactions with her. Stop caring about her. Have fun. Do your own thing. What if I were to tell you the key to making things work with current insignificant other, is to stop oscillating and just focus on getting yourself to the point where you wouldn't mind being single? That's where magic happens. T…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 08:29 PM
1

Genuine question here: Do you not care about your relationship? What's the point in being in one if not?
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 07:50 PM
1

If you just focus on making yourself more attractive, something will change where you will think to yourself, "I actually wouldn't mind being single, there is a lot of variety available to me." I oscillate back and forth between thinking this and thinking that I want to make it work with my current SO. If she doesn't eventually catch up with me in the way that I'd like, I'll have to throw in the towel and walk away. It takes time. Just shut the fuck up about your girlfriend, to yourself, and to …
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 07:46 PM
1

Thank you, this resonates. I think I need to give myself a set amount of time to improve myself and see if she follows. If she doesn't by that point, then it's time to throw in the towel and move on.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 07:40 PM
1

I mean, to me, that's like asking, how is your current conception of the big bang theory working out for you in life? I understand the basic concept, but it doesn't affect me day-to-day. I'm clearly missing something important here.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 07:38 PM
1

I guess you never can know. We could all be living in an Elon Musk-esque simulation. Either way, what difference does it make? What do you mean by "this is that ego responding?" Isn't that akin to saying "this is your inner thoughts responding?" Isn't that a-given?
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 05:36 PM
1

I don't believe so. I am aware of myself as a living, breathing human being with thoughts, memories, wants and needs. I can't see how that applies to my response above.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 05:13 PM
1

This is probably going to seem like a dumb question but (if you don't mind elaborating) what do you mean by that? I see ego mentioned a lot around here, and I don't understand what it means in this context. Isn't ego just your sense of self?
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 04:48 PM
1

I don't see anything wrong with repeating myself in conversations with different people when I haven't found an answer yet. This issue wasn't resolved in the last 7 days. I value more input. Point taken about oneitis. Definitely what I need to be working on.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 04:42 PM
1

That's quite possible, but if I currently want a better relationship with my SO, should I not try? I believe the relationship I have has potential, and I would like more from it. Walking away now seems like giving up before I've had a proper chance to try.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 04:32 PM
1

I copy-pasted it because this came up in the same context last week when discussing it with someone else. That's all. In no way do you have less oneitis. You are 100% eggs in her basket and she knows it. Your ego knows it, too. You need to find a way to break out of these thought patterns. Next time you hear “all I want is to return to that” or “we used to …” in your head, what are you going to replace it with? This is fair enough. The hardest part is trying to change my mentality in order to br…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 04:15 PM
1

You're probably right. I just know that this relationship has the potential to satisfy me, as it has done very well in the past. As I'm still relatively early on in my MRP journey, I want to at least give it some more time to try to return us to that point. Maybe I need to give myself a time limit. If the relationship hasn't reached x criteria by y date, I throw in the towel.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 03:44 PM
0

I do understand everything you're saying here. However, many guys from MRP seem to have achieved what I am hoping to - i.e. they have turned their relationship around to a place where they are sexually fulfilled again. What I want is to get to that point with my SO. Since discovering MRP, I am the least infected with oneitis than I ever have been before (although I'm sure it's not gone). I can now see an actual possible future where I leave. I just haven't gotten to that point yet, and would pre…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 02:29 PM
1

I do think about this quite often. But the thing is, I do like her apart from this. We have fun together, we have a lot in common, similar personalities, the same dumb sense of humor, similar worldviews. She's not a harpy, bitch wife like so many guys here seem to complain of. It's just the sex that's the issue. For the first couple of years of our relationship, everything was perfect. The time we were together was spent fucking, cooking together, eating, fucking, watching movies, and fucking. S…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 01:29 PM
2

OYS 9 30yo, 5’10, 75kg, with SO 8 years, engaged 5 years, not married, no kids. Previous OYS Read - NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Horns’s 1st year of OYS, The Rational Male, WISNIFG, Atomic Habits, SGM, Mating in Captivity Reading – NMMNG (re-read, this time actually doing the BFAs) Health & Fitness – Main compounds: Bench press (3x5@65kg), Squat (3x8@75kg), Sumo DL (4x8@100kg), OHP (4x5@45kg), Neutral grip pull ups (4x8@BW). Martial arts: 3+ hrs/wk. What do I want? 1- To be my own source of validati…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/22 10:02 AM
15

I don't know if I'm missing something, but everything you're saying seems extremely vague. What did you DO that made you more attractive? You're saying that just became less angry/dropped covert contracts, and just like that, your wife started fucking you more?
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/22 09:50 PM
1

Thank you again for your time here. This conversation is helping a lot. But I gotta ask...isn't sex an "area" of your life you'd like to improve as well? So why force yourself to avoid it? And why do you think you can't, or shouldn't, initiate when you're feeling needy? I don't mean to eliminate sex, but rather to only initiate when I feel genuine, non-needy, lizard-brain desire. I think a problem is that some of my initiations still have some level of neediness attached, which kills the passion…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/04/22 08:11 AM
1

Thank you for this, I'm finding this all extremely helpful. You've recognized you fill your time creating these CC's and various other unproductive, uneffective, and unattractive modes of living. So step one is changing those habits and thought processes, not setting a boundry. This makes sense. I've been putting the cart before the horse. I need to focus more on NMMNG basics. Eliminating covert contracts, scorekeeping, caretaking, etc., whilst simultaneously putting myself first. To be desired,…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/22 10:02 AM
1

Moral of the story, don't wait to live your life. Thank you, I needed to hear this. I'll keep up the passive income idea but I'll simultaneously put in more effort towards leading the exciting life I want, starting from now.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/22 08:26 AM
1

Thanks for clearing that up, that makes more sense. So, once you stop focusing all your needy attention on your wife, and start prioritising yourself (exercise, socialising, hobbies, etc.), only then can you start to put non-needy effort into your time with your wife.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/22 08:22 AM
3

Thanks for your insight here, comments like this are exactly why I post to OYS. It's fucking hard to change your mindset/worldview from the inside, and an external perspective is extremely valuable. There's a lot to digest here. More horseshit. Money won't change your personality. It'll only make it easier for you to do more shit in hopes your SO will fuck you like a pornstar. You and /u/UsefulWalk4 both picked up on this. I'm focusing too much on doing shit in the hopes that, in the long-term, …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/22 11:26 AM
2

I guess I see the logic here - I am the only one who matters, DGAF about anyone else. But at that point, what's the point in even being in a relationship at all? There seems to be two schools of thought in MRP that, to my retarded brain at least, seem to be in conflict: 1) Game your wife, be fun & spontaneous, put in the effort. 2) DGAF about your wife, ignore your wife, behave as if she was dead. I can see the logic in both arguments, but I can't see how they can co-exist. This is something I'v…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/22 09:14 AM
2

This is a fair point. What I mean is that it would allow me to have more financial security so that I can travel more, go out to more cool places, and experience more in general, without having to worry about bills. You're right though, there are plenty of broke people living fun, exciting lives. I guess I just want to do more rich people shit. Thinking about it now though, you're completely right about it being another covert contract. The way I've been thinking about it is essentially, "if I g…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/22 09:09 AM
1

The only thing that's in it for me is that it would allow me and my SO to travel abroad without fear that she'll be banned from re-entry to my country if we're away for too long. I can't exactly move us abroad and then, if she gets stuck out there, shrug and say, "oh well, have a nice life" and move back to live my amazing life by myself. This is why I'm having trouble figuring out how to proceed here. I want to move us abroad because it would be great, but I don't want to get stuck in a marriag…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/22 05:48 PM
1

Sure, that's not what I was suggesting. I meant what boundaries did you set for yourself that you communicated with your wife?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/22 04:18 PM
1

I was irrationally confident, cocky funny, AA'd alot, DNGAF about most things, but also drew some new boundaries and enforced some boundaries on things that did matter. This is definitely something I need to work on more. What kind of boundaries did you set with your wife?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/22 02:25 PM
2

Your right, and this won't work if your time and attention don't have any value. This is something else I've been trying to wrap my head around as well. The way I'm internalising it is that I need to enrich my life away from my SO as much as possible, but during the time that we're together, making sure to use that time to always be fun and provide feelz. Putting in the effort to arrange dates, be spontaneous, push us out of our comfort zone to try new things together, etc. The more I do this, t…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/22 01:53 PM
1

Are your expectations clear? Removing time and attention may work to create a sense of dread (for lack of a better word) in her, but that dread can be undirected. If there are some specific expectations that you have, can you find a way to lead her there? Can you get there without words? This is something I'm struggling to understand. I'm working on removing time and attention, but this alone isn't enough to improve my chances of successful initiations. How do I make my expectations clear withou…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/22 12:37 PM
5

OYS 8 30yo, 5’10, 75kg, with SO 8 years, engaged 5 years but not married, no kids. Previous OYS Read - NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Horns’s 1st year of OYS, The Rational Male, WISNIFG, Atomic Habits, SGM, Mating in Captivity Reading – NMMNG (re-read, this time actually doing the BFAs) Health & Fitness – Main compounds: Bench press (3x3@75kg + 1x5@75kg), Squat (3x8@75kg), Sumo DL (2x6@100kg + 2x6@105kg), OHP (4x4@45kg), Neutral grip pull ups (3x10@BW). Martial arts: 3+ hours per week. What do I want?…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/04/22 09:23 AM
5

OYS 8 30yo, 5’10, 75kg, with SO 8 years, engaged 5 years but not married, no kids. Previous OYS Read - NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Horns’s 1st year of OYS, The Rational Male, WISNIFG, Atomic Habits, SGM, Mating in Captivity Reading – NMMNG (re-read, this time actually doing the BFAs) Health & Fitness – Main compounds: Bench press (4x3@75kg), Squat (3x8@75kg), Sumo DL (3x6@100kg + 1x6@105kg), OHP (4x4@45kg), Neutral grip pull ups (3x10@BW). Martial arts: 3+ hours per week. What do I want? 1- I want …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/04/22 09:06 AM
1

Thanks for sharing your experiences. What kind of boundaries did you set for your marriage when you went through this? We currently live in my home country, so no issues for me. My SO has lived here for over 15 years and has permanent residency here, but if we move abroad for longer than 6 months, it will be difficult for her to return as she's not an actual citizen. understand if you want to change country because you really want it within yourself or because you expect your life to suddenly im…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/22 03:12 PM
1

No, we live together. We're planning on moving to a third country (neither of our home country).
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/22 12:00 PM
2

OYS 7 30yo, 5’10, 75kg, with SO 8 years, engaged 5 years but not married, no kids. Previous OYS Read - NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, HoA’s 1st year of OYS, The Rational Male, WISNIFG, Atomic Habits, SGM, Mating in Captivity Reading – NMMNG (re-read, this time actually doing the BFAs) I made a new account after a few months off. I realised I was getting too into the weeds of MRP without taking enough action, and after a couple of bans I knew I was approaching everything from the wrong angle. I took so…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/04/22 10:28 AM
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