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Objective_Ad_6265 Archive

View 9 posts and 3,172 comments by Objective_Ad_6265 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

I'm childfree and there is no way to motivate or force me to have kids. I just have zero desire. Even if I was filthy rich and had ideal conditions why would I ruin it and adjust it to the kid's needs, I would rather enjoy it as I want. Plus no money can fix the damage on the body. But I think enough people desire enough kids. Just remove the obstacles, make it financially neutral, normalize single parents. If a person wants to have kids and they are only missing a partner help them financially,…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 01:02 PM
–

That's not how it works. Men straight up LIE about being serious and committed to get sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 11:54 AM
1

And then they complain about the woman... Like desire to what? If you don't desire that specific person then relationship with them is inconvenience, not something to desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 06:25 AM
1

But if you don't feel drawn to that specific person why would you want something to happen with them?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 08:02 PM
1

What is the point of having a relationship with someone you don't even really like? Either you FEEL it or not. It makes no sense otherwise. I've been celibate for years as I couldn't find anyone to feel the spark with.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 08:40 AM
0

Men should also approach only if they're really very interested, if they really feel special spark. I don't want to be approached only because he is playing numbers and hopes it will work out eventually. You should also approach only out of real genuine interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 04:40 AM
–

No. Either I'm attracted to HIM as he is or not. I'm not attracted to what I can use him for.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 06:56 AM
–

There is only one first place and that belongs to my beloved. I'm just self aware how my feelings work.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 10:39 AM
1

Well if they're happy to be settled for eventually...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 07:28 PM
1

No, I must like his face. Body is just... there.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 10:39 AM
7

I was only ever attracted to one man in my life and I think about him all the time. But otherwise yes, never, it diesn't even come to my mind.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 06:42 AM
1

Not settling for a person you are not attracted to is opposite of promiscuity.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 09:56 PM
2

Either you FEEL it or not. There is nothing you can do about it. I guess I wasn't treated really badly. But I don't know what I would do. I can imagine that love is stroger than the bad treatment. I really don't know, I wasn't in that situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 09:36 PM
1

If you don't feel it you don't feel it, there is nothing you can do. I'm not a prostitute to be with a man for his parameters, I'll be with a man only for genuine feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 09:28 PM
2

But it's not about comparing parameters it's about love. I don't know. For me it's super easy to find good buys but I just fail to FEEL the spark with them. So if I found the spark I wouldn't let it go.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 09:21 PM
0

When the problem is you are not attracted to them. You cannot choose attraction. But if you settled despite you didn't really feel it you should have waited for the spark.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 09:13 PM
5

Absolutely never. I only ever loved one person i my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 07:07 AM
1

Don't settle for being settled for. The gain I want from him is sex. I actually desire him. I don't need anything from him, just his presence and sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 11:04 AM
1

Absolutely not. If I don't like his looks there is no chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 09:57 AM
0

Lol. They go for a chance to find a golddigger.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 09:36 AM
2

Well you're aromantic as you say in your flare. For most people it's really real inner desire no matter what the culture says. The difference is you share life. If you move you might ask friends for advise but they would never move with you. With a partner it's automatically mutual decicion. They are default part of your life. You don't meet when you agree to it, they are just part of your life, automatically included in everything.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 09:41 AM
1

Exactly, you are a team to support children, not to focus on each other. And that to me is end of romance.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 08:33 AM
1

It's learned from the past when women needed men to provide. It's getting less and less. And it's men faul, in the past they didn't allow women to own property, now they purposely use money to attract women... Of course you attract a golddigger if you think that money is important to attract someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 07:46 AM
2

Better to have family or friends for support for yourself and the child. You don't need a romantic partner, that part is over anyway when you have kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 09:23 AM
3

No. They only suffer because it often lead to poverty, not because of the absence of the father itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 06:43 AM
1

No. It's real inner desire. I feel like I was raised to look up to independent women but I always felt that hole in my heart. So I think it's real natural desire for humans.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 04:53 PM
4

Romance dies after kids anyway. You cannot have both fully anyway. It makes sense. Either you really want romance or kids, you can't do both 100%. Yes just normalize single parenthood abd pay it from taxes as a society.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 12:34 PM
1

You buy bodies, you watch porn... People might sell because they're desperate. But you like to use it. Men even purposely use money to attract a golddigger. For any woman that sells her body there is much more men to buy it. Men are worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 12:50 PM
0

But you don't get desire there, you get a golddigger.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 06:49 PM
–

I knew at maybe 17 I just want to find and marry my true love. And I always knew I don't want kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 09:24 PM
1

Experience. My best sex is my best sex because I love him the most. It's not technique you can work on. It's made by feelings you have for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 06:42 AM
1

It is important. Good sex is made by feelings you have for the person. If he is not her best she is not most attracted to him, she doesn't love him the most.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 05:12 PM
–

Noone calculates like that. Either you feel attracted to them or not. It has nothing todo with any calculations.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 07:00 AM
1

Well 3 times a day is absolute minimum baseline to me... But only if I'm attracted to him, I'm asexual for anyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 08:41 PM
3

Noone touched me for 5 years. I just fail to be attracted to other men...
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 01:10 PM
4

No, I was only ever attracted to one man in my life. I'm just not attracted to other people.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 08:07 AM
1

I'm not a prostitute. I only date if I'm crazy about him. All I want from him is his presence and sex. I can provide for both of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 09:08 AM
1

Well that's your problem. You might lack ability to those feelings anyway. Just pay a prostitute. If she is with you for money and status it's prostitution anyway, it's just not directly said.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 09:03 AM
1

But you don't have to. You can just directly make long term prostitution agreement instead of pretending.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 08:57 AM
1

The it's easier to just direcly pay a prostitute or make an agreement on long term contract instead of pretending on both sides it's a real relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 08:50 AM
5

She doesn't like you at all, she is just prostituting herself for what you provide. Status or money don't make anyone like you, just use you.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 07:18 AM
3

Standards are useless. Either you simply feel the spark or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 04:12 PM
1

You need to be attracted to him. The only purpose of a relationship is mutual love and attraction. If you are not attracted there is absolutely zero benefit.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 04:43 AM
–

Any standards leads to a placeholder you don't really love. You shouldn't have standards, you should just look for the genuine mutual spark in your heart.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 04:36 AM
–

I thought that was only a problem for men. For women it should be unlimited.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 05:12 AM
–

I always feel like having sex if I'm attracted to him. 3 times a day is absolute minimum and I could just do that all day everyday.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:14 AM
–

If she doesn't want to have sex with him she is not attracted to him and she shouldn't have settled for a person she is not attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 04:00 AM
0

No, it doesn't exist. Either two people are attracted to each other or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 08:59 AM
8

No. I don't like child activities and it doesn't bring me joy. So not, it would not be worth it. I would rather die than give birth.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 06:14 PM
–

Well I know what I don't want and otherwise I don't have strong opinions and I adapt to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 02:30 PM
–

I never had casual sex, I'm not a whore.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 03:06 PM
1

No, the opposite. Experience only bring you trauma and habits that might be bad for the right person... It's ok if you just haven't met the one, failed relationships might be red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 07:48 AM
2

Women usually only swipe right only on men that genuinely seem compatible. Men swipe on every other woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 04:05 PM
2

I already found my other half. If you can "like" every other woman on the app you don't really like any of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 03:30 PM
0

And how many women they "like" if it's normal for s woman to have hundreds of likes? It's not real like. Men don't even see us as real people, they just want a vagina.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 01:49 PM
1

Nothing women can't do. Just romantic and sexual if you are not gay.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 07:32 AM
1

If I'm not attracted to someone it doesn't change with time. Either I feel it instantly or not. And I cannot separate sex and love. So I wouldn't if I wasn't attracted to him to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 07:39 PM
–

I love HIM, not how I can use him.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 07:23 AM
0

I don't choose by criteria. Either I feel the spark or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 04:37 PM
6

Meet the one as soon as possible and ve with them for life. Ideally no mistakes and meet them on the first try.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 07:51 AM
12

Why do you find impossible to crave food you don't like? You don't choose how it feels to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 11:47 AM
1

Yes, I was only ever attracted to one man in my life. There is only one true love.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 12:00 AM
1

I don't know about every single person. But everyone has different type and there is no universal attraction measure.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 11:56 PM
1

Obviously they are if they have problems with sex . And men are settling too and don't care about the women. Everyone has different type, there are no selectivity rules. It's caused be settling. Either women settle, if he can't make you wet he can't make you finish. Or men settle and don't even try to satisfy her. I guess it's mix of both.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 11:45 PM
1

No. It's not about skills. If I'm attracted to him it will be good. If not no skills can help. The problem is that women are settling for men they are not attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 11:29 PM
2

There is no point dating people you don't actually desire to begin with. You got what you deserve.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 09:12 AM
3

I don't care. I need to like HIM, not his job or money. I don't get wet from money. Sometimes I notice a cute fast food worker. I never noticed someone due to looking rich.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 12:44 PM
1

Love of my life and no children. I don't really need other people anyway, I only want him.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:03 AM
1

I would be disgusted by the lesbian too.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:00 AM
7

Not every woman is a prostitute. There are people who date for love, not for benefits. If you use strategies for transactional relationships you attract prostitutes. You cannot use money to attract women and then be surprised they only use you for money.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 09:11 AM
0

There is no advice. Either you happen to be mutually attracted to someone or not. You can't control it, everyone has different type... In the past women couldn't own property or it was heavilly pressured to get married, they needed men to survive, they weren't attracted to their husbands.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 07:41 AM
2

No. I'm really inherently monogamous and not attracted to men in general, just the one.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 04:49 PM
3

No. If I'm not attracted, I'm not attracted. I'm not a prostitue, I will not have duty sex. Unwanted sex would increase depression for women. You cannot solve one issue by making the other gender suffer. With my partner I'm already always willing and ready. I know lonelines is hard. I take it seriously. But you cannot solve one person's problem by making the other person suffer by unwanted sex with them. There will still be suffering, only on the other side.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 07:00 AM
2

What if you don't want to have children at all no matter what?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 10:49 AM
–

Then they are probably not compatible. I just don't get the hard part. You have to take care yourself and do chores even alone. But the partner helps you with that... I just don't get it. If s relationship is such hard work then those people just don't belong together.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 04:00 PM
–

No, you just haven't met the one. If you love him it's not effort to spend time with him. If it's effort you obviously don't want to do that. Being alone is hard. If it's effort to be with someone you just don't love them enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 03:48 PM
–

You just haven't found the one.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 03:35 PM
–

If it's so hard to maintain relationship you're probably with a wrong person.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 03:28 PM
1

Only if I'm attracted to him and the same applies for him. But once a week is not frequently. To me it's normal at least 3 times a day. I would hipe it would reduce transactional relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 06:13 PM
2

We already figured out you are the weird one, you are aromantic. You even said you don't see any difference between friendship and relationship except sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 07:16 PM
1

Well if you want a golddigger...
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 02:01 PM
1

You are aromantic, you don't even think in the same category, you don't know what love is. It's not normal to find people attreactive enough to fuck as a baseline.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 01:16 PM
3

I don't find guys attractive enough to sleep with as a baseline. It's super rare like once in 5-10 years to find a guy attractive to sleep with.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 11:56 AM
1

The problem is also that he doesn't actually love her. He just uses her because he expects women frompoor countries to be more obedienet and easy to use. There is notthing wrong if you travel and you happen to fall in love. But if you specifically target contries for dating it's automatically wrong. They don't even see women as people. They just calculate in what countra they can easily manipulate and use women. And they also don't realize those women are just using them for money.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 07:47 AM
4

I can't see myself fucking people as a baseline unless I'm specifically attracted to him as a person and he is special to me. And then nothing else matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 07:43 AM
3

No. That's how you see it. Relationships are simply about mutual love and attraction. There is no winning and losing side. It's purely individual, it's not about sides.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/26 07:01 AM
0

To me settling is simply if you don't feel it with that person but choose to give them a change for rational reasons or you don't want to be alone... And that's wrong. It's not about standards, it's about feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 08:12 AM
0

Exactly. If you need to chase them they don't like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 12:33 PM
5

If you have to choose then neither is the one. It doesn't happen to me, attraction is very rare to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:32 AM
5

Just wait for the one.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 05:36 AM
1

They don't select you. Either they FEEL the spark or not. You cannot choose attraction. They don't select.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 05:35 AM
2

You should first be attracted to them specifically, not just try on random women. And then you should feel there could be the mutual spart.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 05:28 AM
4

It's not valid question because it simply doesn't work like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 05:04 AM
5

There are no options. Either you are mutually attracted or not. You don't choose from options.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 04:51 AM
13

Noone is forcing you to pursue any random woman. People should choose each other out of mutual genuine attraction. It's mutual. It doesn't work like selectors and selected.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 04:33 AM
3

I do. If I'm not attracted to him I will not catch feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 03:36 AM
–

I would want to become a nun as the lesser evil if I lived in the past. But I guess it wasn't that easy, maybe your family had to pay the churc to accept you... I don't know. And women were not parasites. They were not allowed to own property.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 07:04 PM
–

And what else? Choose according to logical strategy and then have duty sex like a prostitute?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 06:38 PM
–

I can't help it when hearing such crazy theories about strategy...
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 06:27 PM
–

So maybe don't date such women?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 06:18 PM
–

Lot of women had to marry men they were not attracted to for money because they were not allowed to own property. So we don't need men anymore. But I still want him to love, not to use to provide for me. I don't need a provider. I want him only for emotional purposes.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 06:16 PM
–

There is no strategy. Either I like him or not. I'm not a prostitute to care about money and status.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 06:09 PM
4

Exactly. If you have to test them or give them a chance or wait if they deserve good treatment you simply don't like them and you should leave them alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 03:06 PM
1

I'm childfree. I always have sympathy for the one that doesn't want the child.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 07:07 AM
1

So state should pay for it. Better spread it in taxes than ruin individula man's life.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 08:26 PM
1

If they never wnated the child, it was just a mistake. And we have technology to get rid of that mistake. So it should also be possible to get rid of it legaly.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 07:30 PM
1

I'm from Europe. I don't know anything about hospital bills. We only pay for elective procedures like plastic surgery or abortion, tying tubes... And abortion is quite reasonaly priced. And I said that in case of financial abortion men should pay the women equivalent of hospital bill for abortion.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 02:34 PM
1

Women can avoid the risky activity. Do you realize that this exact argument is being used against abortions too?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 02:29 PM
6

Women can choose not to have sex. Do you realize that people use this exact argument agains abortions?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 02:27 PM
1

Vasectomy can also fail. So maybe force him to pay abortion amount. If she chooses not to get abortion it's her choice, he gave her the money for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 02:24 PM
-1

But she can give it up for adoption. Any contraception can fail.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 02:19 PM
2

Only IF abortion is legal of course. It's such basic logic to me I forger to specify it. It's defaul to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 02:16 PM
2

Only IF abortion is legal of course.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 02:15 PM
2

Don't worry, fresh babies go to loving adoptive parents, they don't stay in messy foster system. Of course. If she doesn't want it but father does it should be possible that it stays with him and she doesn't have to pay. In any case any party doesn't deserve 18 years of sence ofr one brokem condom and child they never wanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 01:57 PM
2

There is still adoption if she doesn't want it but is crazy religious fanatic agains abortion.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 01:52 PM
4

Because it's cruel to be sentenced to 18 years of financial slavery for one broken condom.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 01:39 PM
6

Men don't deserve 18 year sentence for one broken condom.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 01:34 PM
1

You stil have adoption. Sure. If a man want s achild but woman doesn't and she is willing to carry it, it shoul also apply that he can have the child and just doesn't have to pay. Of course. If such rare situation happens it should also apply.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 01:13 PM
6

I think they want it. They use money to impress women. So they actively do everything to have a transactional relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 11:58 AM
7

I'm childfree and in my eyes having children ruins your life so everyone should have be able to avoid that even if they make a mistake. So I want evryone to be able to get rid of it, either physically or legaly.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 10:23 AM
7

We are not, we have abortions.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 10:17 AM
10

It's not adequate to sentence them for 18 years of financial slavery for ONE mistake. And did you know that contraception can fail, condoms can break etc.? We can have abortion, we are not automatically sentenced to give birth and 18 years of taking care of it. So being as equal as possible is ability to sign away any connection to the child. For a cost equal to abortion.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 10:11 AM
13

So make him pay amount that abortion costs? It cannot be IDENTICAL. But we should do our best to make it as equal as possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 10:05 AM
10

We can have physical abortion. Men should have equivalent. Abortion is much easier then carrying the child to term. So don't even use as an argument that abortion is difficult.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 09:57 AM
5

"Better" is not the problem. The problem is if you FEEL genuine attraction to them, not comparing parameters.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 07:41 PM
4

I'm not talking about the best. If you genuinely love them it's not settling. Settling is if you don't FEEL the spark with them, not about comparing parameters.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 05:39 PM
5

But it applies to you too. If she has to convince you she is worth the effort you don't like her either.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:19 PM
-2

So stop dating people you are not actually mutually attracted to... If there is real mutual attraction it goes naturally both ways. If you feel need to calculate or imbalance then the mutual attraction is lacking...
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:07 PM
-3

If you need to calculate how much effort to put and it doesn't come from authentic desire you don't actually like the girl, you are trying to settle for her. Don't waste both of your time.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:01 PM
14

Exactly, it goes both ways. If he is waiting with effort for later he doesn't actually like the girl and same logic as he described applies to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 01:52 PM
53

Exactly. And women shouldn't wasre their time trying to settle either. If you don't like him you just don't. You cannot build attraction. It's wasting everyone's time. If you need to build it or convince them they will only "like" you for what you provide. And it's not good or comfortable for the settling party either. You wil resent them. But if you reserve good treatment for later you also don't like the girl. If you liked her you wouldn't hesitate. It goes both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 01:30 PM
6

We just don't need to settle because we are no longer dependent on men. Women in the past were not attracted to their men, they just settled for them because they were denied financial independence.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 05:01 AM
2

So maybe honestly tellhim you don't love him, you only want practical realtionship to have a family. Tell him not to expect romantic relationship, the goal is to have children. Lying is the problem. If you want practical partnership to have a family it's fine bu be honest about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 07:48 AM
2

You need to be attracted to them and that includes liking them as a person, not their status.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 07:49 AM
2

But later as a result I rather just ghosted next guys to avoid that.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 05:44 AM
2

For me it wasn't about danger but there was no point. They asked why, they tried to negotiate. But I didn't have any better answer that I simply didn't feel the spark and they couldn't accept it and pushed for why. And attraction cannot be negotiated. So it was pointless to try to explain it to them because the true answer wasn't valid to them anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 05:21 AM
3

If I'm attracted to him it's easy for him to get me. If I'm not attracted he cannot do anything to change it. It's not about hard to get. It's about genuine mutual attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 06:50 PM
1

I think that's common understanding.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 02:54 PM
-2

No. You cannot control attraction. Attraction is the whole point why even be with someone. Being rational doesn't give you good feelings in a relationship. I don't ne a man to rationally use him, I just need to love him.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 02:29 PM
6

It's just that men are pigs. They use women they don't even like for sex. It's not attraction, they just want sex at all cost.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 04:20 AM
3

Fixed. It's not about best available option, I just need to FEEL it. I don't need a man to use. I need to love him for HIM, not for what I can use him for. And if I cannot love HIM it didn't matter that he is lesser evil than others.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/26 03:48 AM
–

I said I already met the love of my life, not that I'm in a happy relationship with him. What I described is from the time I tried to replace him but it didn't work because he is the love of my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 07:00 PM
–

Yes. I already met the love of my life. But I'm jut saying my problem was attraction, missing chemistry. The guys were good. But that spark is some kind of magic, it doesn't automatically result from checking the boxes.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 06:52 PM
–

I NEVER developed it over time. So it's safe to say it doesn't work that way for me. Either I feel it almost instantly or never. Something has to click pretty fast.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 06:45 PM
–

Feeling somehow drawn to that person, desire to touch them, spend time with them... You feel pulled to them... It's not that you think they are good looking, you FEEL attracted to them. You just feel it for no logical reason. I don't need a man to do things for me. I need to love him for HIM, not for what I can use him for.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 06:42 PM
–

I just couldn't fall in love. I just didn't feel the spark. Nothing wrong with the guys, just the chemistry was missing and is very rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 06:37 PM
3

It shouldn't be work. If you are actually attracted to each other it should be natural, not work.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/26 03:50 AM
1

There is no advice in any case. It's just luck to find someone and be mutually attracted to each other. There is no method. Just try and hope you will meet the one. It doesn't matter if it's on dating apps or in person.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 11:19 AM
–

He is the only one I ever truly loved. So it is better. Before I just settled for the sake of not being alone so it was like a chore. With him I actually desire it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 09:56 PM
1

No. First I need to be attracted to hum and love him to get aroused and connect my body with his.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 02:25 PM
1

It's not an option if you are not attracted to them. Why would you be with someone ou are not attracted to? Attraction is the only valid reason, the only point to have a relationship at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 12:20 PM
1

It's natural. EVERYONE hides sex from kids. EVERYONE feels embarrassed watching romantic scenes with family. It's just natural that we are repulsed by sexuality and romance in family and protect especially kids from it. I don't know. It's just my natural instinct.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 04:46 PM
1

What does it have to do with it? You simply physically don't have time and privacy after kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 04:40 PM
1

That's brutal trauma for the kid...
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 04:19 PM
-1

Thank you. Finally someone. For me the difference is really just attraction. It was totally different when I settled for the sake of not being alone...
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:50 PM
0

Still mental pressure you have to be quiet so they don't hear it. What if they wake up earlier, what if the come to tell you something... And what if they realize why you lock the door...
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:26 PM
-1

It's attraction, not libido. When I settled for the sake of not being alone I didn't want to have much sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:16 PM
1

So on schedule, no spontaneity. So you tell your parents "we want to have sex, please take kids out"? Or you just wait and have sex when they're away and not when you want to? And you are still nervous what if they come to the room. So still no freedom for spontaneity.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:14 PM
-2

Yes, I'm at least 3 times a day type. But I have no upper limit, I could just do it all day everyday if it was possible... But that's because I actually love him. Before when I settled I was also ok with once a week and stress ruined my mood... Because I didn't really desire that person. So still it's about attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 02:03 PM
-1

No, it helps relieve stress and improve mood. If it's so hard to want sex you are not attracted to each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:58 PM
0

Well sex on schedule when they're away is not romantic. You cannot hold hands and kiss in front of them, talk about romantic feelings in fron if them, cuddle in front if them. You cannot do anything romantic in front of them. And wait on schedule when they're gone is not romantic.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:54 PM
1

So you have sex with you parents and also children in the house? That's even worse. I don't want to make effort to hide and be quiet and have sex on schedule when they're away. I just want to live and enojy life as we feel.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:52 PM
1

I never experienced any changes in my mood or anything regarding the period cycle. It was simply disgusting but absolutely zero changes in my mood or anything... And then I got UID so I simply don't have period at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:48 PM
0

You just physically don't have time and privacy for romance. Or you would have neglect them. So stop lying that it doesn't kill romance.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 01:28 PM
-1

So traumatize them, got it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:38 PM
2

I already covered romance on schedule. And also you are probably at work when they are at school, still no time with the partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:37 PM
1

I understand that it can fullfil some people more than personal life. But you simply physically don't have time and privacy to keep the romance as it was. And romance on schedule is not romantic. But 100% it's personal preference as I just lack any touch of maternal nature.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:20 PM
2

So break up?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:17 PM
-1

How many times a day can you have loud sex in the kitchen or anywhere? Either you can't or you don't care you traumatize them. Romance on schedule when they're away is not romantic
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:16 PM
5

They are still at home. You are still under control what if they come to the room. Romance is on schedule when you they are not there... And it just dies...
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:15 PM
3

So you think I have never lived in a family, never met families never seen family shows on TV..? You can know pretty well without personally testing it on yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 10:34 AM
5

No, I'm smart enough to expect it in advance and be childfree.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 09:47 AM
1

Definitely the worst part. I could take care of a kid, it would ruin my life but I could. But I would rather die than give birth.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 09:43 AM
1

No. It's logical. You don't have time for romance, you can't do it in front of kids... It's just over. Life is over. But lot of people seem to enjoy it. But your life is over, you live for the kids. But you can enjoy it. I have zero maternal feelings so for me it would ruin my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 09:26 AM
3

But it's just automatic. You don't need to be told. I don't get how people get surprised about it...
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 09:19 AM
-4

Once you have children your relationship is over and you are only coworkers taking care of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 08:42 AM
2

Well it depends if it brings you joy or deeper meaning. If it's worth it to you personally. For me it would be hell without meaning.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 08:37 AM
1

Exactly, not only relationship, it ruins your life completely.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 08:21 AM
1

Because you are slaves to kids and don't have time to live. Well if you care about them. Of course you could neglect them so it doesn't ruin your life. Having children simply ruins your life if any case (if you don't neglect them).
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 08:21 AM
0

Yes, lack of attraction. If he has to fullfil some conditions first you are simply not attracted to him as s person.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 06:31 AM
0

It actually helps relieve stress...
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 06:30 AM
0

It's only optimal if you are not attracted to your partner...
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 06:24 AM
47

Well kids ruin relationships. Romance is over after kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 06:23 AM
–

And yet you still think about sex with other women. So you shouldn't have married her as you don't even love each other. The chemistry was clearly missing and you still married? WTF? And you had to train sex LOL. If you loved each other it would work naturally. So there is absolutely zero real love, you had to train it. There is nothing and you just artificially trained it. That's the worst nightmare of a "relationship".
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 06:58 PM
–

Yes, it doesn't matter. It's simply about love and attraction. Well obviously you did not since those relationships failed.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 06:08 PM
–

Because you obviously didn't love them. It's about real attraction and chemistry, not about how they look.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 05:43 PM
–

And that's wrong. It's lesser evil to be alone then settle for someone you are not truly attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 05:42 PM
–

I must FEEL it's destiny. He must feel the same and act it... I don't have boxes, I just need to FEEL the magical spark. It matters what they felt with previous partners. He must feel that they can't even compare to me and forget about them. When I met the one, he totaly wiped out the past that I don't even remember them, they are NOTHING, they can't compare, they are not even in the same category. They were just mistakes that he totaly wiped out. So that's what it should feel like. Your mutualy…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:35 PM
–

I don't know what that is. My point is that you shouldn't settle or be settled for. If there was someone you cannot forget about and he doesn't wipe it out you shouldn't lose anyone's time by trying a relatiosnhips with anyone who is not your first choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:27 PM
–

What? I didn't talk about sex acts. Why are you so obsessed with sex acts?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:22 PM
–

My need is to be the love of his life, his first choice, his best. Noone should settle or be settled for.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 04:17 PM
–

Good sex is purely about attraction, it has absolutely nothing to so with technical act. If you are attracted it will be good. If not nothing will help. Sex is not a skill, it should work naturally with attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:49 PM
–

What? I thought it was was about more attraction and enthusiasm.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:46 PM
–

Actually noone wants to be the second choice for their partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 03:02 PM
1

The only power I'm scared of not having is power to say no. I don't need to be chased. If I like him he doesn't need to chase me. Either we mutually like each other or not. That's just men's problem that they chase people who are not intersted in them, we don't want it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/26 11:36 AM
–

It's just true love. I thought the same before I met him. It was like meeting again, not the first time. Like the specific missing piece, not a new person.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 08:27 AM
2

It's not funny. I know what I feel. I never felt the same or even close about anyone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 09:27 PM
2

When you meet the one that's it, nothing else can compare.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 11:27 AM
1

I don't know. It's not about looks. But he has to be good looking according to my own unique personal taste. But I have to FEEL his vibe and either it happens pretty instantly or never. There is absolutely zero chance to impress me over time. Either I just FEEL it or not. And he can be beautiful and prefect in everway and that magical spark is not guaranteed to come. It's some kind of magic.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 11:09 AM
–

Just because you are not attracted to them doesn't mean they cannot be attractive to someone else. Everyone has different taste, attraction is very subjective.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 08:10 PM
1

I think any artificial standards are wrong for men and women too. All you need is to be attracted to them and basically compatible. You don't get attracted to their job or title or money. For me it's about attraction, not standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 04:44 AM
–

You cannot choose attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 08:36 PM
4

No, she is settling for convenience or for what he can do for her. Even genuine admiration of something he excels at cannot replace true attration to HIM as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 10:55 AM
–

Love, attraction, my presence. And I also want nothing more from him. I just want to love him, I just want his presence. Just raw attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 08:11 PM
0

Maybe we need to be attracted to them. It's not about standards, it's about attraction. Do you want to be settled for be somenone who doesn't like you?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 08:25 AM
0

When you don't se a woman as just good enough body to use but you feel somehow drawn to HER specificaly.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 03:05 PM
-1

For you. You don't know what real chemistry is. You don't see women as people, just as checkboxes. But normally you just FEEL and it doesn't matter what attributes they have.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 02:58 PM
2

That's not true. You would have chemistry with a lot of people if it worked like that. It's not attributes based. You cna be crazy baout someone and other people don't understand how can you like them.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 02:45 PM
0

Chemistry doesn't depend on objective attributes. Coca-Cola is a poison and I know it but I still love it. It's on objective, it's not based on checkboxes, it's pure chance, either you FEEL it or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 02:39 PM
-2

There is no such thing as attractive person. Either you FEEL the spark or not. He can be beautiful and the spark can be missing.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 02:14 PM
-2

They can be good looking. Chemistry is specific between two people. I can see him as good looking but not FEEL the spark with him. There is no such thing as attractive person, it's pure chance if the spark appears between two specific people.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 02:14 PM
0

A person can be ideal but the chemistry is missing. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong or not good enough with them, Just the spark is missing. You cannot negotiate attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 01:47 PM
1

There is no advice. Either you FEEL attracted to each other or not. There is nothing you can do. It's pure chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/26 09:06 AM
2

So you're saying you are not able to love and bond to begin with. There is nothing to break because you were already born defective?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 04:36 PM
2

For everyone
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 03:21 PM
5

You know those things without actually trying. It's just an excuse to slut around. Breaking up over and over again will only damage and you might end up unable to bond when you meet the right person... Having multiple failed relationships is extremely damaging.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 09:42 AM
3

Mine is too. Because I love him for HIM. Gifts and service is just how to excuse using him for what he can do instead of loving him for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:22 AM
3

I have more money than him, he js younger...
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 02:40 PM
2

It's your loss you will never know true love. I know what I feel.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 12:30 PM
1

There is not. I don't care. I just need to FEEL the spark with him. It's simply for love, nothing more.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 12:24 PM
1

I don't know, I love HIM. I met better men but attributes but I didn't feel the magical spark with the. I love him for HIM, I don't care what he can provide, I can happily provide for him. Because I just love him for him, not for any practical benefits.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 12:14 PM
3

I'm not attracted to any group in general. Other men could as well be women, there is nothing there. I'm only attracted to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 12:10 PM
1

I want no tangible value. I just want to feel attracted to him. That's all. I just want to love him for him not for what he can provide.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 12:02 PM
3

I'm not attracted to men in general, just to one man. I was never attracted to women. So I imagine him. Before it was faceless fantasies. So I always knew there is one man for me. And since I know him I'm only attracted to him. Not men as a group.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 11:47 AM
0

There is no such thing as value. Either we feel attracted to each other or not. It has nothing to do with "value" and attributes. You can't negotiate attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 11:42 AM
1

I wouldn't believe he could actually like me. He knows nothing about me, just my looks. He had no time to feel my vibe if he could like me as a person. He probably tried the on many women before, I'm not special to him. Hypotheticaly if I was available and I could se he is shy it's probably his first time doing that because he really felt personally drawn to me then maybe. But I want to be special, I want him to actually feel drawn to me, actually like me as a person. I don't want to be just ano…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/26 11:25 AM
1

Behavior doesn't create spark and atteaction. It's either there to begin with or not, you don't create it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 04:38 PM
5

Of course. I just cannot touch him if I don't really like him. I wouldn't be able to be a prostitute or golddgigger or something. Status or money or how can use him has zero effect on my attraction. Either I like HIM or nothing. I never had anything casual also.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 07:00 AM
2

I'm not able to love a man for what he does. But then it's super rare to find the one I love for HIM.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/26 06:50 AM
1

Better not experience at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 12:29 PM
1

No. That's just just transaction. Either you like them or not. You can learn to tolerate them but not to actually like them.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 06:41 PM
1

No. You need to find the one for you. It's unique personal match.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 03:53 PM
1

No. Either I FEEL the spark pretty instantly or not. No abilities or money or status can change or affect that. No woman ever got wet from money. But I guess there are enough golddiggers. I just like HIM for him, not what he can do. I'm not a prostitute.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 09:45 AM
-1

So you have money for prostitutes. Still no love no attraction. Just money for prostitutes.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 07:04 AM
1

But it's not about his power. It's about magical spark. I have no control over the magical spark.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 03:45 PM
1

Well it's not attractive to me. Your psycho redpill bullshit is just bullshit.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 03:34 PM
1

What power? I don't need power, I need feelings. I always liked pretty boys. I don't like masculine look...
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 03:30 PM
1

Well last time he was let's say equivalent of fast food worked in poor country. So very deep below me in status. But he was handsome and nice. I will always rather choose cute fast food worker over status. Status or money never had any effect on me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 10:34 AM
2

I don't know. Either I FEEL the spark or not. It's not just looks, I must have some interaction with him and feel the vibe. But it's a mystery to me too. I just need to FEEL it and it's quite fast, within few days max. But we cannot be friends, if he is friend or too close in my group of people he is a brother to me. So few days or few interactions with someone around but not directly part of my group. But more likely the first meeting, few days is max, not normal. And I really don't know how or…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 07:18 AM
–

But if you have a shop you want to universally attract as many people as possible. But with people you only wnat the right ONE, not as many as possible. So why bother trying to date women you don't even really like?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 05:23 PM
–

Either I FEEL it or not. And then I don't care, he doesn't need to do anything, I would happily provide for him. And I have no choice, either the magic just happens or not. And his status or anything has absolutely zero effect, he cannot win me over time ir by what he is. Either I just FEEL the spark instantly for no reason or nothing. But if you care about deal get the most of it, find a rich man.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 01:39 PM
–

So at least a golddigger career? So it looks like a relationship but in reality it's for money. I can't do it, I need true love to be with someone. But if I could I would probably use it to my advantage.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 12:42 PM
–

But I would probably use it to earn money if I could transactionally touch men... But I can't without feelings. To me it's just prostitution as you put it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 11:50 AM
–

Good luck getting wet from the deal. You have to physically touch that person. If you can without feelings you could use that ability to make money.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 11:33 AM
–

Then you can make career as a prostitute if you view it so tranactionally. Either you FEEL the magic or not. There are no terms, no deals, just pure feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 10:33 AM
–

You are still dehumanizing women. Any universal strategy is wrong. You still just openly express you don't care about women as people, you just want wide net strategy to get any random woman you don't care about at all. You should onyl approach women you really like and then automatically you send unique message for her.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 10:32 AM
–

Just choose the one that sounds better. But I personally want to have the same name. And I always hated my original name so the choice was always clear...
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 10:29 AM
–

Noone asked for it. Absolutely no woman gets wet from your money. This way you can only get a golddigger or just pay a prostitute. You should have looked for real love since you were young. Men are also most attractive young.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/26 07:07 AM
1

Yes, of course. Unless I'm dying or after surgery I always actively want to have sex with him. And even after surgery it's not lack of desire, it's restriction due to situation. But only him, I'm not attracted to other men at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 04:36 PM
1

But he probably cannot get it up again immediatelly and I want to have sex all the time so I would be very upset. Why would he deprive me of sex when I'm there?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 04:30 PM
2

I agree that tha lack of rules is a problem. But the spart is the absolutely basic thing. Without spark, attraction you have NOTHING, absolutely no reason to be with that person.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 07:16 AM
1

Always choose my husband over anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 07:30 AM
1

But why would you waste an erection? You should use every chance and not waste it
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 06:47 AM
0

So stay single and don't complain about women of you refuse sex anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 02:42 PM
0

And what is wrong with sex? You don't like sex? Why would anyone choose masturbation over sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 01:36 PM
0

Yes of course. But the sex itself was mostly forced anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 07:13 AM
13

No, money doesn't make anyone wet. It's just residual from the past when women were dependent on men. Men forced their wives to have sex, they weren't allowed to say no. Yes, they had 7 children againts their will.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/26 08:50 AM
2

I don't have any technical standards, I just need to feel the spark.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/26 12:58 PM
6

Exactly. How else could you do it. It's totally automatic to me to share everything from the start.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/26 11:47 AM
-1

Yes, that's exactly the problem. Men don't see women as people, they just don't care at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 03:04 PM
5

Once we are friends he is a brother to me. Any possibility of attraction dies. It's family, not a potential partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 04:27 AM
1

I still don't want to ruin my life. I don't have a single maternal bone in my body.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/03/26 07:36 AM
2

No. I don't believe it physically works as it should. Also he probably wouldn't be tall and have body shape as normal man. Yes, it doesn't matter who he dated in the past as long as it was just a mistake, not something casual and he doesn't still love her.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 06:49 PM
1

Destroy me. I would be alone forever. I love him, he is the one. He cannot be replaced.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/26 07:13 AM
2

For me once we are part of the same community everyone is a brother to me totally asexual, it kills attraction, it's family, not potential partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 02:10 PM
–

I don't care what you say, I don't listen to you. There is a solution for your dream, become a gay prostitute.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 08:14 AM
–

So be a gay prostitute. Obviously you desire it so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 07:51 AM
–

No, we don't do it because we don't have stomach for it But I know you are disgusting male whore and you lack normal human emotions. You dream about sex work. You can do sex work for gays if you desire it so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 07:37 AM
–

I know you are disgusting male whores and you just don't understand that people don't have stomach for that. And you can relatively easily get physical job.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 07:25 AM
1

It just shows how disgusting you are. Not everyone has a stomach for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/26 04:51 AM
0

Yes. Either you are attracted or not, that's what decides.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/26 09:12 AM
12

Anywhere if he is the one. Nowhere if he is not. It's that simple. There is no rule, attraction decides.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 08:31 AM
4

Their problem is not they can't find the one, their problem is they can't find as many random womwn to fuck as possible. They don't even care about women as people, they just care about number of women to have sex with. And I have zero empathy for that, I hope they end up alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/26 08:20 AM
2

Him having a job doesn't make me wet, it doesn't matter at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 03:41 PM
1

If you love him you can support him. Do you want him for HIM or for what he can do?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 03:34 PM
1

You don't like him you only want money. It's basically prostitution, you have sex with a man you are not attracted to for money.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 03:01 PM
1

Good luck with duty sex then.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 04:58 AM
6

Exactly. Either I FEEL it or not. Unlike most women I don't even do case 2, just pure raw attraction. And if I FEEL it nothing else matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 04:55 AM
–

It wasn't in love. It were just mistakes because I didn't want to be alone and they fit the idea of the one. I never loved them, I just mistaken the person. I always loved only him but I didn't know him, I only had the idea of him in my heart and they somehow fit but it was a mistake in object.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 09:31 PM
–

Of course, the less the better. And I want to know details. If he had intentional casual sex even once it's over. If he believed it was the one but made mistake it's fine. But still must be reasonable number, I don't belive you can make such mistake every few months, not even every year. So intention matters. If someone had casual sex we possible cannot be on the same page. Of course it would be best to meet as soon as possible both as virgins.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 08:16 PM
1

I don't care about wedding at all. I just want marriege, I want the same name. I find wedding boring. I only want to be with him, not entertain other people. Well then find a woman that actually likes you. Don't use money to get a woman, then she will only settle for you for money. If you cannot make your own meal you shouldn't get married at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/26 11:23 AM
2

No. It's not about labels and parameters and choice. It's about feelings. Or do you want to be settled for, do you want a dead bedroom?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 02:25 PM
1

It doesn't mean men are objectively bad, they are just not the one. It's very rare to have a spark with someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/26 06:59 AM
3

He is special for HIM, for his soul. Not for any technical qualities. I love HIM absolutely unconditionally regardless what he can do for me. Yes there are other guys, there are better guys who can do more for me. But they don't make me wet.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 01:51 PM
1

I don't know why I love him but I just felt it the second I met him. I just FEEL it from the first second. I just felt our souls already know each other. There is technically nothing or combination I wouldn't be able to find easily with other men. But he is the only one in the whole wolrld my heart burns for.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 01:43 PM
1

I only ever loved one man in the entire world. And he is objectively nothing special but he is my soulmate.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 11:23 AM
4

Either I want him like crazy or NOTHING, I don't settle. I go by pure raw attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 11:01 AM
16

They are not attracted to him, they settled. They would want sex if they were with the man they actually like.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/26 09:23 AM
2

If I want to have sex with him I'm already absolutely devoted to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 04:50 AM
0

Maybe it's coping mechanism for settling? I only ever desired one man but I really desire him very much.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 12:47 PM
3

You just haven't met the one. At least you are not brokem by failed relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 12:27 PM
2

No, it doesn't work like that. It's completely irrational. He can be perfect and you just don't FEEL it. And good people fall in love with drug addicts. There ar no rules, it's not predictable, either you FEEL it or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 12:02 PM
5

You can't mess it up. Either she is attracted to you or on, you can't change that either way.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 07:27 AM
1

I don't know, I don't talk about such things with people. I'm happy that my other half has it big but it has no effect on choice. I fell in love with him in the first second of meeting him.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 07:21 AM
5

When you learn the size is already too late. It's not like you can choose based on the size.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 06:37 PM
1

Compared to me yes, objectively about average male height at my location. But there are plenty of men his height or taller. If it was height I would have to be head over heels over 80% of male population. That's stupid to blame it on height.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 12:58 PM
1

I ever loved only one man. And he is obese. I don't think he would be conventionally attractive, no status, no money. I don't think he would generaly be popular. It's not men, just one man. I never felt anything like this before.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 12:52 PM
3

But you cannot compare it to love to family or something, it's totaly unique feeling. You have never felt romantic love? You are the emotionally stupid one, you never felt it, you can't imagine romantic love. I met him and the first second I was instantly crazy about him. I didn't have time to get to know him first. It wasn't looks. I like his look but he is not anything special objectively. I just felt it the second I met him, our souls just recognized each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 09:00 AM
5

But what do you mean? I said it's just pull to thet person, I just love him, I desire him, my herst is burning for him, he gives me butterflies, I just feel good with him... I just love him. It's specific feeling, it cannot be compared to anything else. And I don't know why, it's not for his qualities, it's for HIM as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 08:54 AM
5

No, first I FEEL, then I rationalize it. No, being emotionaly intelingent or whatever doesn't activate the feeling. Feeling comes first, any logical reasons to feel that are just later rationalization. I don't know why I FEEL that. I felt in on the first sight. I can try to ratinalize it but it would be a lie. Feeling comes first before getting to know him. At least I admit it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 08:44 AM
4

You just FEEL the oull to that specific person. You don't need to get to know them, something is just pulling you to them from the start. You just FEEL it. You don't just think they should be good for you, you FEEL it without measuring the metrics. It's purely emotional, there is no logic.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 08:25 AM
4

No. Either you FEEL it or not. If not it's settling. It's about genuine raw attration, not some made up metrics. If you have to build it it's settling. You cannot build true attraction. You can build things around but not the ralationship itself between the two of you. Trying to build it is definition of settling. It's trying to force feelings that are not there because on paper they should be good for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 08:07 AM
2

When you find the one you love them for who they are, not for what they're like. Because there is eternal invisible thread between the two of you that you don't share with anyone else. It's not about their qualities but about being two halves of the same unit.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 10:01 PM
2

The same, there is only one, it's predestined.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 09:54 PM
0

There is only one other half in the whole world. The goal it to find the one, not to attract as many people as possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 09:23 PM
8

That psycho theories is the most repulsive thing you can do. Yes, universal repulsive formula does exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 04:37 PM
21

Asking anyone for advice doesn't work because attraction is subconscious and subjective, there is no universal formula.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 04:33 PM
2

It's just not there from the start. Maybe they hope it will come but it doesn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 12:39 PM
0

Everyone is naturally monogamous. Promiscous sluts and male sluts are the damaged items.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 05:29 PM
2

Everyting. Mostly sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 06:51 PM
18

I would say the biggest problem is pregnancy itself. I wouldn't rather die then give birth.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/26 05:33 AM
5

Of course. But you are aromantic and lack ability to feel those feelings, that's the issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 04:31 PM
4

EVERYONE else feels the difference. You are the weird one, you are aromantic. You cannot understand, you lack capacity for those feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 04:15 PM
1

That's when you make a mistake and marry someone that is not your predestined other half. They are not separate being, you are one souls in two bodies.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 04:12 PM
0

There is only one other half in the whole world. So just one. It's not gender issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 03:37 PM
2

You are one unit, one being, you miss them like part of your body when they're not with you. I mean emotionally, spiritually.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 03:13 PM
7

With a partner you are one unit, you merge your lives into one. Friends are separate from you. And feelings but you can't understand, you lack that capacity.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 02:45 PM
10

I explained it to you many times, you keep ignoring it. Just accept you lack capacity to romantic feelings so you cannot understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 02:35 PM
38

Yes, it is totally different. You are aromantic, you are weird, you lack ability of romantic emotions.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 02:07 PM
1

Of course. But I only ever loved one man in my life. I love him for him not for what he does. I don't know why I love him, I just love him because it's him, no matter what he does. If you "love" someone for any logical reason it's not love. You must just love them for them, not what they do or provide.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/26 08:45 AM
2

I felt instantly he is my other half, I didn't develop anything, my soul just recognized him instantly. I never developed feelings and wasn't attracted to popular types.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 08:08 AM
4

Attraction is subjective.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 02:50 PM
1

If you are not crazy about each other just don't date. His approach is correct.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 10:27 AM
11

If they are not the best in your eyes just don't date them. If you genuinely like them there is not need to lie.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 10:25 AM
3

No, I would rather die than be forced to be a sex slave and a maid to a man I'm not attracted to and destroy my body by having children.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/26 09:44 AM
3

It's hurting absolutely everyone of all genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/02/26 05:44 PM
–

No, it doesn't. If you are a slut young, you are still a slut when you're older, you only settle for convenience. If you are made for each other you are made for each other at any age. Building relationships doesn't work and leads to break ups and divorces.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 04:18 PM
–

If you actually like each other it's all natural. Any "skill" is just desperate attempt to artificially create something that is just not there and leads to unhappy relationships and break ups and divorces... Cause of divorces is trying to artificially create relationships that are just not meant to be. I'm completely even against the idea of building a relatonship. Sure you can build things around like where to live but if you have to build the reltionship itself between the two of you like com…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 03:31 PM
2

No, I'm not a whore. Sex is very serious thing. And I love and I'm attracted to only one person.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 10:52 PM
–

Because I genuinelly find them unattractive and I don't understand what they like about them... Everyone has a different type.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 08:16 AM
0

I only loved one man in my entire life. There is only one soulmate. Maybe make a normal profile.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 05:23 PM
-2

That's the profiles, men have terrible profiles. There is one soulmate for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 05:14 PM
0

No, it's different type of men for each woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 05:00 PM
0

It's from dating apps because most men can't even make a normal profile.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 04:50 PM
1

Bullshit. Everyone has a different type, it's about subjective attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 03:58 PM
4

Disagree with everything. Attraction can't be negotiated. If you have to work on it you are not the one for each other. Too much effort trying to force relationships that are not meant to be. It comes naturally if there is reak love and compatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 05:44 AM
–

If you have to build the relationship itself at all you don't belong together.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 11:03 PM
–

If you have to build a relationship you failed to find the right person to begin with. Relatinoships shouldn't feel like work. So yes, just pure attraction and compatibility, no efforts to "build" it. Sure, you can "build" things around like deciding where to live and such. But you shouldn't build the relationship itself between the two of you, if that doesn't work automatically you don't belong to each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 07:20 PM
–

Relationship skills don't exist. Either you are comaptible or not. You can't learn it. Experience from previous relationship doesn't work because every person is different. Either there is attraction or no, that's it. Not skills, not qualities, only attraction decides.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/26 01:18 PM
1

Most people. Relatiosnhips don't fail because you didn't work enough on it but because people make mistakes in the person to begin with. If you have to work on a relationship it's not the right person to begin with. Vast majority of people dream to meet their other half as soon as possible and spend the longest possible time with them. But we get lonely and desperate and convince ourselves that that's the one if they somehow fit even though they are not the one and that results in break ups.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 09:46 PM
4

Yes, vast majority is just situational. But they can't help so it's easier to treat it as medical issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 08:51 AM
6

Vast majority of depression is just totally normal sadness that your life is not good, not real mental illness. So if they find a good relationship there shouldn't be future problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 08:40 AM
1

No, my true love totally wiped out the past, I literally forgot about the past, it can't even compare, it's not even in the same category. It's about the love, not about chronological order.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 08:10 AM
1

It's not about being capable. Love is found, not built. Virginity is good. Failed relationships are red flags. Then how do you explain I knew his date of birth several years before meeting him and then I met him with that exact date of birth and he said we know each other form past lives? Yes, there are objectively better guys. But I only ever felt that magic with him. Quality just doesn't matter. It's not real spark if there is more. There is only one real. The other ones are just attempts to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 08:20 PM
1

Well if you just like women in general you don't really like HER in unique special way. If everyone is special then noone is special. So you deserve to be alone. No woman wants be just a checkbox, we want to be special for out man. Who is Chad? Everyone has just one soulmate, objective qualities don't matter, you need that spark, emotional connection. I only ever loved one man in my life, he is my only other half. Yes, I don't like men in general, I like only him. Not because of his qualities bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 07:59 PM
1

Most men can't even take normal pictures. Then average man is just unsuccessfull male slut. You don't even care about women as people. You don't even care if you like her. You just want "a woman" and then not even care about her as a person. You just have to FEEL the spark. And then it should be natural. But you don't care, you don't even see women as people. Why should we date a man that doesn't even see us as a person?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 07:21 PM
0

That's from dating apps because men are obviously not able to make decent profiles. Problem is the profiles, not that all women have the same type. So look for the one. No woman wants to be chosen just because she gave him a chance. Find the one, approach only women you really feel the spark with.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 05:43 PM
0

It's different type of men for each woman. There is someone for everyone. Focus on finding the one instead of desire to slut around.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 12:37 PM
3

No, never experienced it. Either there is attraction and then everything he does is perfect. Or not and nothing can change it.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 10:37 AM
-1

No, you just haven't found the one yet. If anything is red flag it's failed relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 09:30 AM
1

If they focus too much on things like job and money that you can measure instead of emotional connection and attraction. Of course if you just don't like him due to his looks or height it's not superficial that's just how attraction works.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 05:26 PM
–

You cannot do it multiple times a day in any room at any time, you have to be totally quiet, not move much so they cannot hear anything... It's gross in the family. I just have strong anti incestuous instinct.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 04:22 PM
–

They can wake up at night, you have to be quiet, planning it also kills desire... I mean any age. It's disgusting in the family.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 04:09 PM
–

It's not just any stressor. They are there all the time in the middle, not outside, your life revolves around them. Either you neglect and traumatize them (what if they hear you) or you just let the romance die.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 03:40 PM
1

I'm talking about true love desire not red pill number nonsense.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 03:37 PM
1

Yes, but it already started by love before anything physical.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 01:06 PM
2

I never had casual sex but yes it's the feelings that make it good, that give you right brain chemistry I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 01:02 PM
–

Kids objectively kill romance and end relationship. You become just business partners in running a household. It's not about being self-centered, kids objectively ruin it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 11:46 AM
2

Me neither. But it doesn't hurt because my body takes care of it simply out of love before he even touches me. If you need stimulation to get aroused you are not attracted to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 06:26 AM
1

No. I actually thought sex is just for men and a duty to women till I met the one. I considered it a price to pay because I didn't want to be alone. And the difference is I actually desire him.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 06:23 AM
-5

If you actually desire him you get wet even without foreplay so it doesn't hurt. When he first touched me he was shocked how wet I already was.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 06:09 AM
1

So much work to force relationships with men you don't actually desire...
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 06:02 AM
-6

But if you actually desire him you get wet without him even touching you. Genuine desire does the work on it's own.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 05:59 AM
2

No. It's just an excuse for lack of real desire from the start. The women you talk to are probably trying to force relationships with men they don't actually desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 05:55 AM
2

Technical qualities of sex don't matter. Attraction makes it automatically great.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 05:42 AM
0

No. Sex is about attraction and chemistry, not technique. If attraction is missing there is nothing he can do to make it better. If attraction is there it doesn't matter. It's already decided long before you even go to bed.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 05:36 AM
–

Exactly. If I'm actually attracted to him it's automatically great. Good sex is about attraction and chemistry, not technique.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 05:32 AM
1

I never had casual sex. I never had desire for "experience", I just wanted to find the one. So you're broken. Normal is to just want the one, promiscuity is broken. Seems more like men go crazy over him.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 02:40 PM
1

But you don't need number, you just need the one. I don't get what you see in Henry Cavill. Must be some homoerotic desire that men love him so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 02:32 PM
1

But it's different type of men for each woman. And there is only one true soulmate for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 02:04 PM
2

No. It's totally unique subjective attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 01:49 PM
–

I just need to FEEL it.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 09:24 PM
1

Ask him to shave at least his chest. And if he has hair on back probably laser. On legs or arms it's whatever. Everyone should shave their armpits. But I really don't like hairy chest or even back.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 05:12 PM
8

But the woman should be older because men die earlier. Yes, I think it's old habits in culture...
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 01:14 PM
15

That's not true. Taht was only because women were forced to be dependent on men. Money and status doesn't make anyone wet. It was survival, not attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 10:08 AM
6

I agree, I'm 100% for option for men to opt out. I even argued with women about it here. Women have choice even after an accident so men should have adequate choice to opt out.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 09:01 PM
1

Yes, I never had anything casual, never had desire for casual. Either I want to marry him or nothing, just be friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/26 04:50 PM
2

If you just want sex, pay a sex worker.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 02:27 PM
–

The reasoning is bullshit but if someone actually likes you, you don't have to chase them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 02:19 PM
8

Eh, on paper qualities are not special. Soul connection is special, being my other half is special.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 07:53 AM
10

But I don't love him for his objective qualities. I love him for HIM because he is my other half, because I just felt the soul connection the second I met him. He is not special in any objective way but we have that soul connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 07:40 AM
11

What is high value? Either he makes me FEEL the spark or not. Money or "status" or being famous don't make me wet. And I already found my other half and he is the only one in the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/26 07:38 AM
2

But so doesn't any form of casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 02:57 PM
3

How do you get emotional component from random woman you don't even like as a person? You must first find the one and only then you can think about sex with them. Sex with random person doesn't give you anything extra compared to just doing it yourself. It only causes you emotional damage after you break up.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/26 10:32 AM
3

No, society doesn't. Those individual men choose to use women they are not even attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 07:18 PM
1

No, people don't change. You should look for the one from the start. If you slut around and then "change" you likely just got bored and decided to settle.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 07:14 PM
1

Maybe physical intimacy? For me if we don't kiss on the first date I don't like him and there will be no second date.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 06:36 AM
–

It's sad but still lesser evil than a partner you are not attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 08:25 PM
2

That's not true, attraction cannot be negotiated. In the past women were forced to marry for resources to men they were not attracted to. And there is no universal attraction, it's unique spark between two specific people.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/26 01:31 PM
1

Not true. It gets much worse after you know what you're missing on. But it's not love. There is only one true soulmate. Break up is not the problem, break up is the fix. Dating a wrong person to begin with is the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 03:29 PM
0

Failed or wrong relationships are inherently harmful. Sure it's better to break up than suffer with a wrong person. But it causes damage that has to be healed or you lose the ability to emotional connection over time and repeating it. The root problem is of course dating a wrong person (not the one) to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 03:20 PM
1

Break up is the problem, not the sex itself. It damages your ability to deeply bond with someone. Well the problem is dating the wrong person to begin with, then you have to break up, but it already alters your brain chemistry and if you repeat it too much you lose the ability to emotionally connect... It's not fatal, you can heal it. But it is inherently harmful.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 02:56 PM
1

Failed relationships are inherently harmful to everyone of all genders. Casual sex still messes up with your brain even if you willingly choose that way. Still counts as a failed relationship damage.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 02:47 PM
6

I'm disgusted by promiscuous men too. It's not a gender issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/26 02:40 PM
0

Either you FEEL the magical spark or not. Nothing to do with quality or comparison.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/26 05:20 AM
3

There is also adoption. So abortion is more about the body. Pregnancy and birth seriously damage the bode.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 09:27 AM
1

4 years. Well it just wasn't possible to find the one at that time. There is only one true soulmate.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 09:23 AM
5

No. I regret I haven't met the one earlier. But I always just wanted to find the one, not to slut around.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 09:21 AM
1

Exactly any transactional relationship is just a form of prostitution. Only legitimate way is to be with them simply for their presence and emotional connection even if they had nothing tangible to offer.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/26 04:45 PM
3

But I don't think it's about deserving. Either you FEEL it and it just happens naturally or not. It's not a conscious choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/26 07:14 PM
5

I never had any casual sex in the past. I fell in love once and I actually desire him. Either I FEEL it or not. I don't need a man to provide for me, I need him just for emotional fullfilment and that wouldn't work without real raw attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/26 07:10 PM
-1

Of course but it's not that.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/26 07:13 AM
4

No. Either I FEEL it or not. Money doesn't create raw attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/26 04:48 AM
1

But if I want him I automatically want to marry him and be with him forever. I'm not capable of casual sex. I can't separate sex and love. So I want to make sure he is really the one.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/26 07:02 PM
1

Because if I'm not attracted fast I will never get attracted over time.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/26 11:12 PM
1

It about subjective attraction, not quality, not comparison.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/26 12:01 PM
3

Noone is happy single. It's just lesser evil than a man you are not attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 11:50 AM
2

Never. Failed relationships are red flags.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 04:07 PM
1

Exactly. I love him for HIM specifically as a person. Not for meeting acceptable standards. I need to just FEEL the spark. I don't need acceptable I need real love for that specific person. And I also want to be loved for me, not just be acceptable.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/25 03:41 PM
1

Exactly. Money matter less and less, it goes back to raw attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 03:12 PM
1

Bullshit. Either you FEEL the spark or not. It has nothing to do with measurable qualities. You only know transactional relationships. I love a man that has nothin, he is nothing special, I had plenty of objectively better men interested in me. But I LOVE him for HIM, for his soul, not for his qualities.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 01:31 PM
1

Not possible without deep emotional connection. Deep emotional connection is what ruined me for other men. I can't separate sex and love. I need to actually deeply love him to desire him sexually.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 12:56 PM
1

No, I don't accept any priviledge based on gender alone. If the decision about moving or career is needed we need to evaluate objective situation which career is more importan, which person will be more affected by the change... Not based on gender but based on objective reality and diffrences between the two specific people.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 01:22 PM
2

No. Either you FEEL the spark or not. You can meet a perfect person but not feel it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 11:12 AM
12

It's not happily single. It's just lesser evil than a man you are not attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/25 07:46 PM
0

Maybe if we weren't bothered by ton of men who just swipe on everyone without any genuine interest we would have more time to repply to actually compatible matches...
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/25 07:54 PM
1

Yes, just a form of prostitution. Any "value" other than emotional connection and raw attraction is just a form of prostitution.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 09:25 AM
1

I'm not a prostitute on any level. Yes, I fully provided in a relationship. If I FEEL it I will fully provide for him. I don't care about value, just emotional connection and raw attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 09:17 AM
1

No. Golddigging is just a form of prostitution. Real love doesn't care about "value". Either you FEEL the spark or not, it's that easy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 09:09 AM
1

Yes, I mentioned golddiggers. But I don't love my man for his "value", I love him for HIM as s person, for emotional connection and raw attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 01:21 AM
1

No. A man must be at least 5 years younger than me. I genuinelly really don't understand what other women could possible see in older men. I think they are just golddiggers.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/25 10:30 PM
7

No. Friends and family don't become one unit with you, they don't share life with you. Partner is enough even if you don't have absolutely anyone else. Friends and family don't even come close in depth and fullfilment.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/25 11:09 AM
2

I'm not a whore, I take sex seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 10:41 PM
–

But I don't care about "value". Either I FEEL the spark or not. I need him for him, not for sny value I can use him for.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/25 07:05 AM
–

All failed relationships cause trauma.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 11:41 AM
1

It's just lesser evil than a man I'm not attracted to. Not HAPPY single, just lesser evil.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/25 08:36 PM
-1

There is just one the one for everyone. Quantity doesn't matter if you can't find the one.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 03:12 PM
5

Friend. I need a partner just for the purpose of emotional connection. I can take care of myself otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 12:24 AM
4

First I need to be absolutely obsessed with him to even get into bed with him. I never had anything casual.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 08:50 AM
2

Failed relationships actually just traumatize you.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/25 12:01 PM
1

Well of course it would be best to find the one at high school and get married at 18. But usually it doesn't lead anywhere and you just end up with pain from failed relationship. "Experience" is bullshit. Failed relationships can only hurt and damage you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 04:18 AM
1

Not just a woman. I despise promiscous people of all genders equaly.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 10:46 AM
2

It's different small percentage of men for each woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 08:20 PM
–

Last time it took 4 years to find one person I'm attracted to. Good on paper is super easy but it doesn't guarantee that spark. Spark is like magic, either you FEEL it or not and checkboxes don't matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 05:58 PM
3

Always smarter by IQ. By I have no ambitions and no special interest I'm really good at. I was just born very smart but I have no actual use for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/25 12:02 PM
–

Because every woman likes different type of men. Yes looks matter but not in absolute sense. It's about subjective attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 08:45 AM
5

Well that's the goal, that's the ideal. I never desired variety, I only wanted the ONE from the start.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 08:27 AM
2

You mean change priorities from actual love and attraction to golddigging? And yes, I was looking for the ONE at 18.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 07:03 PM
1

No. I can only love a man for HIM. I don't care what he provides, I'm not a prostitute. Simply I just FEEL raw attractionor not. Nothing he does can change raw attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 11:53 AM
1

No, I'm not a slut, never done that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 03:19 PM
–

It doesn't mean perfect, it's about destiny. It's that you just FEEL total uncoditional love for them because it's just them. You don't "love" what he does for you, you just love him for him. You don't measure him on paper, you don't compare him, you don't care what he can provide, you just love HIM as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 01:43 PM
2

Beauty is subjective. Well to me it only matters if I FEEL the spark with him. Yes, I would tolerate bad things for the spark. Good on paper is easy to find, real raw attraction is super rare. Like once in years rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 07:14 AM
1

To love him if I FEEL the spark with him. To share one life. I'm not a prostite to care about him providing anything. I just need love, emotional connection. I love him just because I FELT it in the first second. I felt like we know eac other from past lives. I just love him for him, his soul, not for any practical benefits.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 06:32 PM
1

Yes, we already know you're aromantic and don't see any difference between friendship and relationship. So stop it already.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 02:39 PM
1

It's children. Having children ruins you life especially as a woman. And body for women, And in those statistics it's always mixed as "married with children" and "single childless". Women still do most of the work around the children. Men normally continue their job and life...
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 01:28 PM
3

It's actually getting better, it's residaul from patriachal past.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 12:43 PM
1

Yes but if you don't get married you probably don't take it seriously.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 12:42 PM
3

Marriage makes people happy. You are not alone, you have someone to share your life with... Yes, marriage itself makes people happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 08:34 AM
-2

Because having children ruins your life and for women specifically body. Problem in those statistics is children, not the husbands.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 09:31 PM
–

Yes, but not "status", it's about personality, vibe, how I FEEL with him... But if I don't like his looks no personality will help. Looks is the first filter and if met only then other things start to matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/25 11:21 AM
1

Really good looking according to my type. And still I didn't FEEL the spark. Well there is only one the one...
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/25 11:26 PM
6

You can tell. If they have shirtless photos for example automatically no. I'm just not attracted to that type at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 07:30 PM
13

No, it's super easy, I found plenty just on dating apps. I just didn't FEEL the spark with them. Maybe you just like typical fuckboys? But that was never my type, even on the apps I chose introverted looking ones... They were good from what I can tell, good looking, great on paper. Just that spark was missing. But maybe they would pump and dump me if given a chance. I can't know. I didn't feel the spark so there was no touch.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 07:23 PM
1

Of course I wish I could spend my whole life with the ONE. The earlier the better is true. But if it fails it's just pain from heartbreak.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 04:08 PM
3

They wanted children, they were in the right age for them. It just happened at a time they were with a wrong person.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 01:31 PM
1

How many failed relationships did you have? It just happens that people get illusion of love with worong people because they don't want to be alone. And only way to fix it is to break up. And they wanted children, it just happened with a wrong person. I understand as a childfree person you just don't want life with kids. But unless you are a virgin you have no right to judge people for failed relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 01:16 PM
11

Height like 85% in my country. Yes, that could be a problem for Asians in white countries. Looks not many. But still I met many good looking men and didn't FEEL the chemistry. The spark / chemistry / attraction can't be determined by a list of standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 09:15 AM
0

No, it's not normal. Why would you envy previous failed relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 08:36 AM
31

Problem is attraction. Good men are easy to find. But good and otherwise compatible doesn't guarantee real.raw attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/25 08:35 AM
2

Why not if there is the spark... Luckily I have enough money that I can go just by pure raw attraction without any golddigging criteria. I want him to actually spend time with me, not with his career ambitions.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 03:28 PM
2

Healthy or not I'm bulit for powerfull consuming burning love. Not for lukewarm convenient deal about sharing a household.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 03:09 PM
2

I like sensitive gentle men, I want to be his while world. Just spark is magic, it doesn't happen according to list of standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 02:40 PM
1

Yes, I just couldn't do that. That's terrible to settle. But good men are easy to find. I can't trash dating apps, I found many good men. Attraction is the problem. I just don't FEEL that way about them. To be fair men also settle for women they don't even like as a peron just to have sex and maybe free maid.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 02:10 PM
1

Past experience doesn't matter, it's removed and healed, it were just mistakes. Current state like 90%. Romantic love is my meaning of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 08:41 AM
1

If he is not my subjective type no vibe could help, that's true.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 03:48 PM
2

No, just looks. Sure, he need to look good to begin with for the spark to develop. But if it actually sparks takes some time to feel his vibe. Trust me I know, I just have my first spark in years two weeks ago. And sure, he looked nice to my taste. But it took multiple interactions and reading his vibe to actually develop something.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 03:06 PM
2

Subjectivelly good looking. And there has to be right situation to show the vibe so the spark can click.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 01:49 PM
1

It's usually worse exactly because they don't plan for it so they don't have stable enviroment after the break up. If they plan for it and have enviroment for that it's perfectly fine.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 09:02 AM
1

To find the person I love or already in the relatiosnhip to spend time with him. It's about HIM, not about the process or something...
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 12:09 PM
-4

Attraction is purely subjective magical spark.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 08:48 PM
32

I think there is no problem finding good men. Attraction is the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 07:05 PM
1

Well for me it's a red flag if he does. I want to build it TOGETHER. I don't want to live as a guest at his home.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 11:24 AM
1

Exactly, I like boyish. No, that's just coping.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 05:58 AM
1

My brain does that. It's like meeting a teacher years after school. I just CAN'T switch to first name and act to them as a friend... The same with friends, once he is set as a friend my brain just can't switch. But from what you describe there was chemistry, it never fell to pure friendzone to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 08:05 PM
1

I would be lucky if it were even 2-3. For me like one in few years. But to be fair it's not just about looks, I need to meet him in the right situation to actually notice him as a man. If he is a coworkerfor example he is too close, he will fall in the friendzone fast. Ideal is to meet him few times in the safe space but not very close so he doesn't fall in the friendzone before I let my guard down to be able to notice him a man. I need to feel at least safe enough to even think about such thing…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 04:39 PM
2

Yes, that's true. I have absolutely no problem finding nice compatible good on paper guys. Attraction is the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 04:23 PM
1

Don't lie to yourselves that it will get better when you have money. Men look their best around 20. Money doesn't create raw attraction, you just attract more golddiggers later in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 04:12 PM
0

Everyone is ruined by promiscouity.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 09:20 PM
1

I mena don't act bad on purpose. But yes, attraction cannot be negotiated. If I altready like him I will excuse it... If I'm just not attracted nothing will convince me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 11:17 PM
–

Men look their best around 20. Money and success can't replace raw attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 11:12 AM
4

Maybe it's also coping mechanism for hurt women that only know how to get validation through sex. But it's not normal. Sex is not empty meaningless physical activity.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 11:19 PM
2

Not all women are sluts. It's just visible minority.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 10:48 PM
4

I don't, I never had casual sex even once in my life. But I know men pretend to want a relatiosnhip just to get sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 06:40 PM
1

Sex literaly alters you brain chemistry and repeating that can permanently damage pair bondig ability. It's real physical damage of brain chemistry. Random stranger does nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 06:34 PM
2

If a random strangers rejects you literaly NOTHING happens, it's just random stranger, you don't even know if you like them as a person. After sex it breaks your heart.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 05:51 PM
-4

That's true, it's not equal. It's much worse after sex because that person actually meant something to you unlike random stranger.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 12:05 PM
1

Attraction is subjective. Plenty of people that seem repulsive to me have loving partners...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 11:41 AM
2

Either you FEEL attracted or not, that's natural.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/25 01:30 PM
2

I don't get it, I don't have capacity for it. Either you FEEL the spark or not. It's heartless approach to relationship like it's a business deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 08:08 AM
0

I never had anything casual I take sex extremelly seriously amd I don't believe in leagues. Attraction is purely subjective. Yes statistically there can be more popular group. But on individual person level it's purely subjective. You just need to click to FEEL the spark. You can meet a perfect person by looks and all parameters but fail in that click to actually FEEL it with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/25 06:41 AM
0

It's about money. They want a sex slave for money. And those women are not naive and stupid, they will just use them for money.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 05:45 PM
2

Touch and words are the best. It¨s the main things that make me FEEL the love. Quality time is nice and you can't touch and talk without spending time together. So I would consider it a base for anything else instead of it's own category. Gifts are mostly just practical for me. It could be nice he remembered my favourite dessert or something when he went shopping. And service is totaly aromantic, it doesn't do anything regarding love. Of course it's practical and needed to do it. But I can't ima…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 05:34 PM
3

No, it's just lesser evil than a man I'm not attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 02:20 PM
1

So obviously prostitutes make you horny, you just choose not to date them because logic says no. But what if logic says yes but they just don't make me horny? I can't have sex if I can't even get wet with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 04:01 PM
1

I can't build attraction. Initial spark can grow. But without that spark there is no seed that can grow.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 03:45 PM
0

No, attraction is not a choice. It's bad luck if you happen to be attracted to bad people.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/25 03:39 PM
2

Many men directly say something like they don't even like her as a person but good for sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 05:16 PM
1

Of course anyone can have bad personality. But that doesn't justify using them for sex only. Just ignore them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 02:34 PM
1

Yes, never did. I can't separate sex and love. I have never even felt pure physical chemistry without emotional feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 10:25 AM
-1

So just ignore them, no problem. Noone is forcing you to be a sociopath and use them for sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 05:57 AM
-3

Personality issue of the sociopathic men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/25 05:33 AM
1

I'm sorry you were hurt so much you no longer believe in love. That's the only reason you are saying this.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 05:44 AM
20

Pretending to want a relationship only to get into my pants would be the worst.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 05:12 AM
1

It doesn't sound romantic at all if friends are better. I don't burn with passion for friends, they don't set my heart on fire.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 04:00 PM
1

Lived, not live. Not forever. They will move out the second they find a partner and you will end up at home alone in the evening. I'm sorry you don't have love. Maybe you are asexual and aromantic.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 04:56 AM
–

Easy, morning, after work and night. And any bonus is welcome. Just don't have children.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 07:44 PM
1

So you live with them, you actually stay or move for work together? You share money with them, spend every day with them? Is it forever? At the end of the day do you lie in bed with them?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 07:42 PM
2

No. I also settled for building a relationship and it failed. But the real failure was settling for the wrong person to begin with. With the one it was easy. Yes, you need to build living and work on things around. But the relationship itself like communication you can't build, it must be effortless with the right person.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 11:51 AM
3

If you can't even communicate without learning you are simply not compatible to begin with. If you have to build a relationship and learn how to be together you already failed to find the one.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 11:47 AM
2

Manipulation is a skill. That's how psychopaths and narcistic people can always find a victim. Real relationships not.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 11:45 AM
4

It doesn't make you compatible if you are not to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 08:39 AM
–

There must be attraction. The drive itself doesn't increase range of attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 07:01 AM
3

It's not about worth. Either you FEEL that spark or not. You can't force attraction, you can't deserve attraction. It's pure luck, magic. And compatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 04:14 AM
–

You count weekly? At least 3 times a day.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 04:12 AM
10

"Good at relationships" doesn't exist, it's not a skill. It's about unique personal compatibility and most people are not compatible with most people.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 04:10 AM
2

100% A. Friends don't go that deep, don't truly form unity. I only want my one true love.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 04:09 AM
12

I will rather be celibate than risk pregnancy.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 03:22 PM
3

There is not method, it depends on unique chemistry between people.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 03:11 PM
–

You can't deserve a partner. Either the connection exist or not. Either you both FEEL it or not. You don't "deserve" it, you can't force it, you can't build it. Either it just happens or not. I don't deny the desire is real but it's pure luck to find the one.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 08:41 AM
3

No. If I FEEL it I want to marry him no matter what. I'm not a whore to want casual.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 05:24 AM
15

Being compatible. "Men" don't universally want anything. Each person is different and needs different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 11:47 AM
1

Exactly, celibate is lesser evil than duty sex with a man that doesn't make me wet. Yes such "men" cause the dating problems for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 08:58 AM
–

I don't want children. Well celibate is lesser evil than duty sex. If I don't get of a man why should I have sex with him?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 08:56 AM
-1

You should only pursue the ONE you really like as a person. Well without love it won't help to satisfy better anyway to be promiscous pig. I'm also not fully satisfied even after daily double digits self pleasure. But still lesser evil than loveless duty sex. You don't, you are just disgusting promiscous pigs. I hope you get STDs to the point your dicks stop working.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 07:12 PM
0

For drive itself you have your own hands. There is nothing extra the other person can give you except emotional connection. The drive itself and attraction are separate. You are just pigs.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 06:52 PM
2

Emotionally and physically but to me it's one package, I'm not able to separate sex and love. Just FEEL that in my heart. Nothing else matters, I would provide for him, move for him, tolerate whatever bad things... Just if I FEEL it in my heart. And I'm not a prostitute so I wouldn't date for any other reason, for any practical reason. FEELING is the only acceptable reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 06:08 PM
1

How many times a day? I easily do double digits daily. The drive itself is a different thing than attraction. So no, that's not and excuse for promiscous desires.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 05:42 PM
4

Just make me FEEL attraction and I wil provide for him. I'm not a prostitute, I don't need his money. Just pure raw love.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 05:39 PM
0

There are no "skills". If you find the right person you just FEEL it. And if you are right for each other you naturally vibe and are compatible. Noone wants a slut.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 07:10 PM
1

I would want to know details first to make sure he is not a slut and it wasn't casual. If he had 2 genuinelly failed relationships it's fine. Anyone who did casual even once is a disgusting whore no matter man or woman. Maybe if he changed and deeply regrets it because he did it out of trauma or something. But then he wouldn't lie. The less the better. But sadly most people are not lucky to find the one on the first try and get in relationships with wrong people in illusion it's the one. Mistake…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 06:37 PM
1

What is dating results? Either you find the ONE or not. It's pure luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 05:58 PM
1

It's not about quality but FEELINGS. You can absolutely burn with passion for a bad person.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 02:47 PM
4

It's not jealousy, I just can't comprehend sex without love. Just the idea of other men is drying me up down there.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 01:56 PM
1

I'm very liberal for gays and abortion... Just find the ONE, gender doesn't matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 06:30 AM
2

Yes, I judge everyone equaly for casual sex, men and women they are disgusting sluts.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 05:36 AM
0

It does matter but the point is finding the ONE, not just someone. I just hate you focus on quantity instead of one true soulmate. And I'm celibate for years, I never had anything casual, I'm not a slut.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 05:25 AM
1

But the only legitimate reason for a relationship is FEELINGS. If it's for convenience it's just a form of prostitution.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:35 PM
0

No, they are not. FEELINGS are not a transaction. Convenience is.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:23 PM
0

Any transactional relationship is just a form of prostitution.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:07 PM
1

It isn't bad in theory if there is really no pressure. But then it's basicaly marriage of convenience, not love. To me you either FEEL it or not. This is marriage for convenience like choosing "business" partner for family life. But of course you can get a miracle and burn with passion with someone from the list.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 03:03 PM
6

So maybe don't "advertise" yourself with money?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 12:07 PM
1

"Quality" or "Chad" doesn't mean attraction. For example I'm burning with passion from an obese guy that has nothing. But he has that magical spark. And fit and rich more beautiful guys feel ice cold.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 07:48 AM
2

That's not what I mean. You can FEEL atraction with and addict in debt. And you can lack attraction with perfect millionaire Chad on paper.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 07:41 AM
11

Problem is attraction, not objective quality.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/25 07:14 AM
–

Me too. But with the one it just clicked on the first contact and I just felt it's special. And all other could be nice and perfect and everything but it feels like they are outside of my sexual orientation. Even as demi you just FEEL that spark as it clicks.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 06:04 PM
2

Similar level doesn't guarantee genuine attraction. I don't automaticaly get wet just because someone is objectively percieved on similar level. There has to be some X factor that I just FEEL it in my heart.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/25 05:47 AM
7

There is no looksmatch. Either you FEEL it in your haert or not. Attraction is not logical and can't be negotiated.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 08:22 AM
9

It's not about being "better" or comparing people. You guys are total sociopaths, you think about people in terms of value, you compare then as goods and say things like "looks match". But it's not about that, it's not about objective qualities. In reality it's just about feeling it in your heart. You can't negotiate attraction. And attraction is not logical.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 03:08 AM
6

No, I don't settle. I have the person I'm crazy in love and lust about and he even overshadows Hollywood actors in my eyes. It's not about being objectively perfect and comparing. It's about FEELING it in your heart.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 03:04 AM
13

No, I don't settle. I have the person I'm crazy in love and lust about and he even overshadows Hollywood actors in my eyes. It's not about being objectively perfect and comparing. It's about FEELING it in your heart.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 03:03 AM
3

Either you FEEL in your heart it or not, there is no objective measurable match.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 07:56 PM
8

Just that it's no adapting, it's settling. It's cruel to settle, that person might genuinelly love you and it would break their heart to learn the truth.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 07:55 PM
24

So men are settling. Even on the internet you see it all the time men admit they fuck women they don't even like as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 07:48 PM
1

They could be trying to make sure the feelings are real. Or they could be trying to settle for the sake of not being alone. Maybe they genuinelly believe it can grow because the building and workinh on it narative is pushed very strongly.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/25 05:36 AM
1

Yes, I don't care either. I just ask as a way of learning about him and his life.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/25 01:50 PM
7

I also settled before I learned what love feels like. If it has to grow or build you already failed to find the right person. Either you just FEEL it or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/25 10:17 AM
2

Exactly, you just feel it form inside. I was always discouraged from love and told to be reasonable but I just felt that pull. And I don't have it from media either as I don't consume any romantic media because it's not me, doesn't fit my idea of love or my story and I can't emerge in it. It's just my inner desire, not from society.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 02:26 PM
2

I was always mostly told the opposite. They told me to just be happy alone or find someone compatible or smothing... And they just couldn't beat the romantic desire out of me. So I think it's natural inner desire, not something learned.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 12:03 PM
1

There is still a problem I just don't get wet without feelings. Yes I agree that relationshops of convenience might be healthy. But it's totaly empty.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 10:42 AM
0

Either I FEEL it or not. But in reality money don't make me wet. So I'm more likely to FEEL it eith a "peasant". I can't choose like that based on description, the only factor is if I FEEL chemistry with that specific person. and FEELINGS are not a choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 09:58 AM
2

I just doesn't happen I have tunnel vision and he is the only man in the world in my eyes.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 04:13 AM
1

Only the same one. To me it's so intertwined it's one and the same thing. I'm not even able to separate love and lust.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 04:11 AM
1

Well first wasn't love, it was just a mistake. And it was in high school. My only LOVE was mid 20's.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 09:07 PM
3

Just don't wait years to get married.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/25 07:05 AM
-3

No, it's because I connect bisexuality to promiscouity.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 08:26 AM
4

Ew, no. On TV it was always the skinny nerd of the team.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 10:42 PM
5

If you don't FEEL the chemistry you have nothing. If she settles for a reasonable choice settling is also bad. You can't negotiate raw attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 05:12 PM
11

I just genuinelly have no idea what is that X factor I'm attracted to. But I agree that things like being nice don't make you attractive, those are just things I would wish in someone I'm already attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 04:57 PM
3

I don't even see other men as men. I physically see them and know their gender... But to me they could as well be other women. I see them, I can judge their looks. But my brain doesn't even register them as romantic or sexual option. Other men even celebrities are not even in the same category as him.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 02:09 PM
3

To me it's not about values but true FEELINGS. I just don't FEEL absolutely anything even about the most beautifull actors. He really overshadows them in my eyes. I just don't even see other men as men. They look good, sure, the same way other women look great, totaly asexual. They are not even men to me. I physically see them I can judge their looks but there is absolutely nothing they could make me feel. I don't need values and morals, I just don't FEEL anything about other men. He totaly wipe…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 11:03 AM
1

It's about how you feel. Objective looks don't matter. If you truly love someone they wipe out anyone else, they overshadow all celebrities in your eyes.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 10:55 AM
1

I think too many. It's enough to see here how many men date women they don't even like as a person to get sex. How often men refuse to marry for YEARS and then get married within a year after break up when they finally find someone "better". Or they don't find "better" and keep a forever girlfriend. You shoul only be with the one that wipes out anyone else in your eyes. It's not about objective looks but the spark you FEEL with them and noone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 10:54 AM
3

If you truly love him he oveshadows any celebrity in your eyes.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 10:54 AM
–

No, I require boyish look in men, that's why I would only date younger. When they lose the boyish look they are totaly disqualified for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 09:58 AM
2

Casual sex is nothing to enojy. Sex is sacred connection reserved only for commited ideally forever relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/25 09:56 AM
–

I know I'm the type that would stay with an abuser if I felt the fire with him otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 06:45 PM
12

But I never had a casual partner. It's just not for me. So I have only husband material but I guess I apply casual standards on that because my only standard is raw attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 02:27 PM
6

Either I FEEL it or not. If he doesn't have money I will provide for him, I don't mind, no problem. Just give me raw attraction, nothing more needed.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 12:15 PM
16

Because I just don't do casual. That category just doesn't even exist to me. But I have no standards, either I FEEL it or not. So I guess that would qualify fot casual material? But if I FEEL it I want to marry him no matter what.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/25 09:59 AM
1

Yes I literaly believe it in magical sense. But not for everyone as I clearly see there are people that don't feel like this and feel complete even on their own. But in you case you just never loved anyone. Men here admit all the time they date women they don't even like as a person for sex, so you are just one of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 06:59 AM
1

Maybe a week of intense texting and just one date to see if there is spark. If the spark is missing there will be no second date anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 05:36 AM
2

I never loved anyone before nor after, it's out of this world. The mistakes I made before are not even in the same category. I can't even call my fisrt boyfriend my first "love" because it wasn't love, it was just a mistake, I was just lonely so I bonded with him but it was false to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 07:54 PM
1

I don't get how widows can get married again. Either they must have promiscuous nature or they never truly loved the first one or it's just for convenience... I just don't get it. For me there is only ONE and even if he dies he is still the one. Before him there were mistakes. So yes if you marry a mistake you can marry again if they die. But even my mistakes definitely damaged me because I formed a bond with them because it wasn't for convenience for out of despair not to be alone. But the one …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 07:41 PM
1

Yes, basic technique is nothing you need to learn. If you have feelings it will be good. If you lack feelings it will be bad no matter the experience in techniques. You don't run out but your body in order to protect itself will release less of them as prevention for the future possible break up.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 07:29 PM
4

Of course, you are a male whore, glad you admit it. I understand perfectly well that you and vast majority of men here pair just for sex without any real feelings, often not even liking the woman as a person. If the bond is not there to begin with you can't break it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 11:42 AM
4

Well you never had any real bond. Maybe you were just horny. Men here admit all the time they date women they don't even like for sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 11:25 AM
2

So you never loved anyone to begin with. That's also possible. Lot of people have relationships of convenience without chemistry.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 11:02 AM
3

Still the bond is torn. You can't do it without damage. You can minimize the damage but it's unavoidable to get damage. Even if you stay friends you get hurt, maybe less but still. Yes, it is the most traumatizing thing ever but I think you can heal it over time and especially with the right person. But if you are really promiscuous there is a point beyond repair. Well of course it easy somethimes. Maybe you just didn't have chemistry and it was relationship of convenience so there is no strong …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 10:02 AM
5

No, doesn't matter how good your break up is, you are stil tearing the bond. There are also brain chemicals involvolved and if you break it next time your body in order to protect itself from future damge can release less bonding chemicals. Even if you stay friends the bond is broken, the damage is done. For both genders. I believe in most cases it can still heal especially with the right person. But still it's better to start clean than having to pay a debt. You can't be universally good at sex…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 08:30 AM
1

It's true that promiscouity damages people but it applies the same for men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 08:29 AM
1

For short men there are even shorter women. It's just basic sex difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 10:33 AM
1

Of course, I agree. Maybe if they want children because it's just biological reality the woman need to recover for some time. Maybe also towards the end of pregnancy and then maybe she wants to breastfeed... And if they want multiple children it makes sense to expect the man to provide. But I don't want children so fuck any gender norms.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 06:01 AM
6

Yes. I'm very liberal about LGBT and such. But I judge promiscouity very hard in everyone, every orientation. And straight men especially because I could hypothetically be personally interested. Doesn't have to be a virgin.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 12:24 PM
2

I want to provide for him. I don't care about money, I hate chores. So preferably if he could take more chores and I could provide more money. But I refuse to count it, if we are together it's OUR money. Yes, age does matter, I prefer younger guys. So no, I dont want 50/50, I want OUR money, share everything, equality. But no counting to make sure it's 50/50, there is just OUR money. And no children.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 11:43 AM
1

No, patriarchy was unnatural. Either you make me wet or not, that's the natural way to tell attraction. Pairing for resources and practical reasons was unnatural, it doesn't magically create real attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 11:41 AM
-1

They just haven't found the one.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 07:25 AM
2

No. the problem is spark, chemistry. And that's not about some objective measures.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/25 08:40 AM
1

No, you already had sex, you already merged your bodies. Marriage is just automatic step to confirm it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 09:17 AM
5

You don't stop FEELING it because of that. I don't care about sny standards on paper. I just need to FEEL, just raw attraction. And then he doesn't need any money, I will happily provide for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:02 AM
12

So what? Force duty sex? What can you fo when any attraction is just missing?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 05:52 PM
18

Either you FEEL it or not. You can't force attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 04:27 PM
0

Why not? I'm obsessed over a man that is objectively nothing special and yet I burn with passion for him to the point of insanity.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 01:00 PM
1

And how else would you describe absolute ecstasy about the only one person in your entire life?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 06:38 AM
1

What about mem that keep a girlfriend they refuse to marry for YEARS and then get married within a year after breakup? Or they don't find better and just keep forever girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 06:07 AM
1

Clearly you never experienced a woman head over heels for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 04:13 AM
1

Still there will be more men willing to pay. So more opportunity for lazy women to prostitue themselves. I think the main difference is oppurtunity for lazy people.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 07:59 PM
2

Maybe residual from the past when women couldn't even own a bank account or get a job to provide for themselves? Maybe it still gets pushed in the culture and some families that the man should provide... Of course there are some women that are lazy to work and rather prostitute themselves (goldigging is a form of prostitution). I think there are men that would do the same if women were willing to pay. Maybe the difference is just oppurtunity for lazy people that would rather prostitute themselve…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 07:48 AM
-5

Have you seen male profiles? It's totaly possible only 5% of men have decent profiles. It's bad PROFILES, not that the men themselves are not attractive to anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 06:24 PM
-2

Because men think it's the same group of men. The truth is each woman has a different type so it's small percentage for each woman but it's different type for each woman so there is someone for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 03:43 PM
5

If she doesn't show genuine attarction.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 08:15 AM
0

That's not true. If you take reasonably thin woman with good skin 99% of men will agree she is attractive. Women have more unique types, like Chamelet and Momoa example
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 07:39 AM
–

Fuck standards. Never compromise on FEELINGS, on attraction. Checkboxes can't give you butterflies.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 05:29 PM
0

My man told me he is indifferent and he would just do whatever the woman wants. But he would prefer to enjoy life just the two of us. I think such men are common. Which is good as I'm childfree.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 07:28 AM
3

He knows how I feel about him. And he said things we know each other from past lives so he feels that special connection too. We never had any get to know each other phase we just KNEW each other. It wasn't the start like getting to know each other for the first time, it was like we just found AGAIN, just continue something that already existed before. And I don't even see him as perfect with rose colored glasses I know he is not nearly the best by any standards. But the way I FEEL about him is …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 11:16 AM
4

No. I only felt it once in my life. And he doesn't have anything to give me, he is fat, nothing special... But I'm totaly obsessed with him, he is the only one that makes my heart burn with passion, I burn with lust for him... I don't know. By standards he is nothing special but he makes me crazy about him. Before I met him I had TV character crushes. It was always the thin nerd of the team. But he is nothing like that. And now my former TV crushes make me ice cold. So I don't know, he doesn't f…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 10:56 AM
2

It doesn't factor in attraction in any way. If I FEEL it I will happily provide for him. There is no amount that can overcome attraction, I'm not a prostitute.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 08:37 AM
2

Just don't. Find the one that actually likes you and you like her. If she loves you she wants to have sex with you. If she doesn't want sex enough it's usually attraction problem, she is probably settling for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 07:28 AM
6

That there are standards or the man has to make our life better. For me there is only one thing - attraction. Either I FEEL it or not and if I FEEL it I don't care about any standards. And you can be the best in the world but if I don't FEEL it it doesn't matter, you can't buy me or negotiate with me with anything else than pure raw attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 07:22 AM
3

No, I mean the ecstasy personally feel.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 07:00 PM
2

The oposite, I want him to actually spend time with me, not overtimes at work.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 06:17 PM
4

But most people have that desire to become one, find your soulmate and dedicate your life to each other... You don't but most people do. EXACTLY that's the problem with friends, we do our thing, then meet sometimes... That's not enough for me. I really desire to merge into one with my special person.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 01:38 PM
9

But friendship can't give you that FEELING.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 01:19 PM
3

Still friends are not the only ony, you are not their ONE... But as aromantic you can't understand that feeling.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 01:17 PM
9

Just because you are aromantic doesn't mean that everyone is. It's also depth of feelings. Yes, you can have TEMPORARY roommate ls but you are not forever unit.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 11:55 AM
15

Again? I already told you don't become a unit in friendship. Don't live together, don't buy a house together. If you live together it's only temporary roommate... The unity is missing.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 11:39 AM
–

Exactly. Not only small children but any age simply by living there because you have to be careful they don't find or hear you. That applies to any third person being there. But others than children are usually not there for long.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 08:58 AM
0

Wedding is free, max some small fee. The celebration is not mandatory.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 07:15 PM
1

But they look and act much older than me. In my country we have public transport discount for minors and students and the drivers always automatically offer me not just student but under 18 price. I really look much younger and also feel and act young. So younger guys are my level.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 06:10 PM
6

I think vast majority of men that "don't want to get married" just don't want to marry HER specifically. But they want free sex and maid until they find a woman they actually like. Well most cases it's the man that doesn't want to marry her. Many forever girlfriends are sad about it. But sure there are few alternative people that are against marriage in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 04:04 PM
2

For romance. It's official declaration of the connection that already exists. It's romantic ti share the same name. I never cared about wedding celebration. But it's important ritual to me to give the vows, make the declaration, share the same last name...
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 03:32 PM
2

So why old women used to pressure or still pressure their grand dauthers to study and not be dependent on a man? Many of them even directly say don't get married, don't have children... Yes, they were unhappy. They married because they were forced or at least strongly pressured. They couldn't sufficiently provide for themselves without a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 10:51 AM
9

I think it's mostly children. Children kill romance.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 10:35 AM
2

No, it's mostly children. Children kill any romance.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 10:34 AM
28

Of course. Either I'm totaly head over heels or nothing. But I would say this especially to men. Today women rather stay alone than be with a man they are not attracted to. Mem choose women they don't even like to get free sex and a maid. How common it is for men to spend YEARS with a woman they don't want to marry and then get married within a year after break up when they meet someone they actually like... And sometimes they don't find better and keep forever girlfriend that is not worth marri…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/25 05:42 AM
0

I guess for those that don't experience genuine attraction...
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 07:24 PM
1

No. Either I FEEL it or not. I will not suffer any duty sex for the sake of companionship. I need to be absolutely obsessed with him.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 06:57 AM
1

Well it's probably right. I'm still young inside. I also get mistaken for a teenager by my looks. So younger men are my equal. It's not about using, it's equal. My limit is as long as I could't be his mother. I already found the one and yes, he is significantly younger than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 07:05 AM
0

As long as she couldn't be his mother... That's my limit. The love of my life is significantly younger than me. We are on the same level emotionaly and I get mistaken for his age, even for a teenager. So we also look the same level. Age is just a number. It's ok if it's genuine. The problem is that older men mostly really use and manipulate younger women. It's often not genuine.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 07:01 AM
3

Most people initiate divorces because the other person did the actual act that broke the marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 03:27 PM
0

Men just want a sex maid so they settle. And they are still watching porn and dream about plastic Instagram girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 03:23 PM
0

But it's the only realy definition. If he is the only on that turns me on while "better" guys just make me ice cold I'm not settling despite the fact that objectively he has nothing to offer. If I was with a billionaire but dreaming of actually attractive guys that would be settling. Relationships are about feelings, not about objective measure what we can get from the person. It's settling if you don't really love them, if you just can't find someone better but dream about better. Feelings are …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 03:22 PM
9

Ok. So what would you call it? Normal people use that word and everoyne gets it. You can add romantic loneliness to make it more clear. But everyone gets it and doesn't need new special word. But I think we finaly found the core difference between romance and friendship besides physical intimacy, it's the unity.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 12:20 PM
10

EXACTLY. Because people have desire to become a unit with someone they love. We desire that unity and you can only get that in romantic relastionship, not in friendship.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 11:50 AM
7

But friendships are not that deep. If a friend is thinking about moving for a job they don't seriously consider you, they will just leave without you. Serious romantic partner wouldn't do that, you would consider together and move together. You just don't have it with friends. They are not truly core part of your life and you are not theirs.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 11:08 AM
12

A roommate will find a romantic partner and leave. You won't BUY a place together, just rent. It's not nearly the same level of sharing. Sure, romantic relationships can fail and end. But the goal is forever which you don't have with roommates and friends. But we talked about this before and you are obviously aromantic so I'm not even starting with emotional depth.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 10:18 AM
8

Like share a life? Friends have their own life and family, often romantic partner. Their are not going to live with you and share everyday with you and buy a house with you and build a life with you. Friends come and go, you don't share a life on equal level as you do with a romantic partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 07:57 AM
1

I found people perfect on paper and I didn't FEEL it. So I have standards in theory but in reality it comes to feelings anyway. So I see no reason to pretend and talk about standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 06:06 AM
1

Yes but it's still lesser evil than a man I'm not attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 08:24 AM
5

Because it's not a checkbox logical choice. You need attraction, FEEL it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 08:30 AM
1

It's not exactly a choice. You don't choose heartlessly according to checkboxes. You either just FEEL it or not. You can't control attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 07:57 AM
2

I just don't want kids at all so no. But if you settle for companionship you can at least use kids as an excuse against intimacy. So for genuine love no. Hypothetically to settle yes. But I can't settle, I can't lie, I'm demisexual, I can't stomach physical intimacy without genuine attraction. So it's just hypothetically.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 07:45 AM
1

You are also settling, you say yourself your emotions are not as strong. Don't demand what you can't give in return.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 06:16 PM
7

Well for me it is totaly asexual. There is only one person in the world that turns me on. I can't cheat because I simply don't get turned on by other people. I waited years of separation for him to come back because with others just no spark. And I'm attractive, guys wanted me. But I felt no spark with other people than him.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 12:43 PM
3

It's normal that people want to be a actually desired by their partner. You just have to find the one you really click with and you really desire each other. Noone wants to be settled for.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 12:11 PM
14

Yes, I experience the same sexual disgust as most men to gay to all people except the one man I love. He is the only one in my eyes and I'm totaly asexual to the rest of the world. And it's the same towards men and women. A man I'm not attracted to could as well be a woman. It's just asexual. Not that I hate them or have active disgust. But I would be disgusted if they tried something. I can even compliment them they look great. The same way I compliment any girl when I like her outfit or she ju…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 10:23 AM
7

No. Settling is never ok. It's lesser evil to be alone than with a wrong person.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 06:27 PM
1

Yes, I wouldn't want a doctor as well as anyone with highly demanding long hours job. I want a relationship to actually spend time with him. But it's probably good for golddiggers.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 09:54 AM
3

Either I FEEL it or not. I don't think about standards, just pure feelings. And even though I'm not happy alone I just can't without feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 04:53 AM
1

Hypothetically with a new person no. But with the one I already love I love him no matter what forever. And I'm not poly. I can't have sex without love. So I would just stay with him no matter what.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/25 07:52 PM
–

Binary, either I FEEL it or not. But I can tell which man looks better without any feelings. Same as with women. There are no feelings or attraction but I can see a woman is beautiful. I absolutely cannot put a number on it, that's really weird and sick to put numbers like this on people.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/25 08:34 AM
1

No, it's not normal work. No, sex is not just meaningless physical activity.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 09:14 PM
1

No. I have enough money and it's OUR money anyway. I don't have to prostitute myself for a provider, I can provide and choose purely on raw attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 08:23 AM
1

There are also male sex workers. If you want to help them you can just help without exploiting them. Sex work is not comparable to any other work.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 10:52 PM
1

They need the money and you exploit them. Sex work is not like normal job, you can't compare it to normal jobs. It's emotional need to touch them. Only true biological physical need you can fullfill with self pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 10:50 PM
1

But maybe they needed to pay rent fast and then got caught up in it and traumatized... Yes, technically you don't die from not having a place to live. But it's enough reason to justify it. But you can easily self pleasure, no need to exploit desperate poor people.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 09:37 PM
1

You are talking about emotional need, not physical. And the sex workers hate you, they are repulsed and disgusted by you. So there is nothing for emotional needs. For purely physical need you only need self pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 09:35 PM
1

No, it's not physical need. For physical need you can self pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 09:29 PM
1

You can't even hypothetically die from lack of sex. And you can alsways self pleasure. Emotional needs are not covered in sex work.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 09:27 PM
1

No. Only if I could really understand and justify he didn't really have a choice and did it out of despair for money.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 10:22 PM
1

Maybe they need money fast. They are traumatized, very abused in the past so they se it as the only way... There are no emotions if you don't count disgust.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 03:56 PM
1

You can self pleasure to fullfill your physical needs. Emotional needs are not provided in sex work anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 03:41 PM
1

It's only technical consent, it's not real. It's exploitation of despair.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 03:38 PM
1

There are also male prostitutes. And customers are damaged too. But still I can better understand a person that is desperate for money than person that is just lazy to use their hand to do it themselves so they exploit the ones desperate for money. No, sex work is not normal job and most workers have severe level of trauma and despair.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 11:29 AM
0

Yes, having unwanted sex without real genuine desire is automaticaly causing harm even withou physicala violonce. And you KNOW they don't want you. You KNOW they are only desperate for money. There is no excuse. Maybe some people can be simply born with promiscuous sexuality without any damge or trauma. Some people are born asexual as well. So I leave space that it's possible they are just like that, no trauma, no damage, they enjoy it. But it would be at least as rare as asexuality. But still i…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 12:01 PM
0

"I mean you could apply trauma to anything. If a woman comes at you for a one night stand at a bar you have no way of checking if she is traumatized or has mental illness that drives her to this choice. So by your logic, that's exploitation aswell." You are literaly becoming one body having sex. So yes you are absolutely responsible to check everything about that person to know if you should become one body with them. Relationships are about merging your lives into one, healing each other... So …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 10:47 AM
0

No, you are not capable of truly free choice if your brain is physically changed by the trauma. It doesn't magically fix itself when you grow up. You need healing, not deepening the trauma even more. Actually I believe any casual sex and anything else like that is result of trauma or underlying mental issue, it's for damage people. The only healthy normal is to look for the one to spend the rest of your life with. Both sex workers and customers are deeply damaged. Customers are worse because the…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 10:24 AM
3

Better hand than sex worker that hates you and is repulsed and disgusted by you. Stop believing the red pill insanity. No, everyone has different type. You just need to find the one for you. I love only one man and all others are totatyly invisible to me, they can be beatiful but it doesn't do anything because they are not HIM. I only have eyes for him. But there is really only ONE soulmate.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 08:44 AM
0

Trauma can physically change the brain. The vast majority of sex workes was led into it by trauma or despair or something. Trauma doesn't disapear when you grow up so it's not infantilizing. Maybe they don't know how to. They can have trauma that made them believe they are only good for sex or something. It's never ok. Maybe 0,01% or something are really just lazy to do normal job or really enjoy it. But vast majority has severe trauma to begin with. They still don't love you, it's a LIE. There …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 08:33 AM
3

You can perfectly fullfill the physical need yourself. And regarding emotional needs the sex worker doesn't love you anyway. And there is the one for everyone, attractivness is not universal, you can find the one that will love you.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 08:22 AM
0

Consent is not real if you have to buy it. It's only technical but not real, the sex worker is still repulsed. Mostly they wouldn't really die but the vast majority of sex workers really does it out of despair, have trauma, are in bad situation, thera is just something really wrong that pushes them into it. It's very small majority that really enjoy it or is just lazy for normal job. You can fullfill the physical need on your own, you don't need to use desperate people. If you are desperate for …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 10:51 PM
8

Buying is worse. People can be selling out of despair, having no other choice how to earn money to survive. You can't die from lack of sex, it's not a level of despair to justify it. You are willing to pay for a person to have unwanted sex with you. Yes, it's technically consensual but really only technically, it's not real and genuine.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 04:33 PM
2

Of course not, I need my other half to be whole, that's the point. Healing is good but you can also heal together, however it's nice to speed things up if you manage to somewhat heal on your own.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 08:32 AM
0

You can't therapy people about attraction. You can't therapy them to stop nor start being attracted. It didn't work for gay people and doesn't work for anyone. I'm not talking about artificial standards like salary or hard height line even as in real life you can't tell an inch difference. I'm talking only about pure emotional feeling of attraction. Of course you can and should therapy people to drop unnecessary artificial standards. But not about real pure feeling of attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/25 11:01 PM
0

You can't force attraction either way. Gay therapy also didn't work.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/25 10:49 PM
1

You are settling if you lack genunine feelings and attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/25 10:41 PM
0

It's lesser evil than lay down, close your eyes and pray it's over quickly with a man you are not attracted to...
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/25 10:40 PM
1

Just make me FEEL the spark.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 08:53 AM
1

Maybe they love the specific HIM, not replacable someone like him. Emotional connection snd spark is unique and can't be automatically created by meeting technical standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 02:26 PM
1

Because I love him for HIM, his soul, his heart. Not for practical benefit. I'm not a prostitute.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 01:37 PM
1

I always hated my maiden name so the choice is clear. Otherwise I think it's nice to have the same last name and couples should simply choose the one they like better. It's a nice symbol we share one life, it's clear we belong together... I think it's romantic to have the same last name.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 08:43 AM
1

I'm truly "blind" to other men, I only have eyes for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 05:11 PM
3

You can't be good or bad in sex. It's not universal skill, it's about compatibility. And attraction. If you can't even make me feel raw desire of course I can't enjoy it. But if I love him it's guaranteed to be enjoyable.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/25 05:35 AM
1

It's often despite the kids, not for the sake of kids. Kids would be much happier in peace. I begged my mother to have a divorce. And she refused to protect her own children despite having the money and support from her family and every oportunity to leave.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/25 10:52 AM
2

Maybe every woman and every person is different and you just have to find your match.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 02:13 PM
1

Some women. I can't example. And yes, it's just convenience and practicality. Money doesn't make anyone wet even when it's practical.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/25 05:58 AM
–

I wouldn't date someone who had casual sex in general. Being willing to use a sex worker just makes it extra bad. Our values and approach to relationships simply wouldn't be compatible at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 02:10 PM
1

Maybe it's the mindset that either you want genuine connection so you work hard so you ate not restricted by money. Or you don't care and rely on prostituting yourself. I wasn't always in a good financial position but it never even crossed my mind to solve it by relationship of convenience.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 07:10 AM
2

I don't care about money. We just need to have enough to survive together with our money combined. It's OUR money anyway. And I can meet that requirement with me single income. I never wanted to prostitute myself according to his money. So I earn enough to provide for both of us and problem solved. I only care about attraction, I don't factor money in any way.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 08:34 AM
2

No, it just means lack of attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 08:30 AM
1

No. Of course I'm sorry for all the people who haven't met their the one. But I don't think they are losers, it's luck to meet the right person, it doesn't mean there is something wrong with you. And I don't value promicouity so quantity and attracting women in general doesn't matter at all. I just wish for everyone to meet their one right person. What makes them losers is wanting any random woman at all cost and not seeing women as real people and wanting large number of women to like them inst…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 03:16 PM
–

We just need to be able to survive together with out money combined. So that menas he can have nothing and my single income can provide. So yes. But I would prefer if he was looking for a normal job and spend free time with me rather than dedicate his life to his own business. I don't care about noney or job just don't make debts, don't spend too much and don't have job that requires overtimes and lot of time, I wnt to actually spend time with him. I earn enough that I don't have to prostitute m…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 11:22 AM
1

I am a former fat person. No, my tastes didn't change at all. I just count calories to fit the food I actually like to my calorie budget. I still eat the same, just less to fit the calories. And I'm not used to it, it's conscious decisions and self control. My preferences and taste and apettite haven't changed at all. So maybe you can force yourself. And with food it's not such a problem. But letting someone see you naked and inside your body is a very big and traumatic thing if it goes against …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/25 03:58 PM
2

And I must say that the one is very reluctant to "use" me for money and is working himself. But previously I actually provided for a wrong partner and I didn't mind at all, it ended for totaly unrelated reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/25 03:43 PM
1

You can't just decide for example to simply like food you don't like. And I don't need to. I have my own money, I don't have to prostite myself based on resources.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/25 03:39 PM
1

I already found the love of my life. There is no other way anyway. If I don't FEEL it then what? Lay down, close my eyes and pray it's over quickly? I can't withou real feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/25 03:27 PM
2

And emotional connection. I'm not able to separate love and lust. I simply don't ever feel purely physical attraction without emotional connection. So I'm just not able to separate that. Basicaly the stars have to align so I just FEEL it. And if I FEEL it money doesn't matter, we can work out practical things.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/25 09:05 AM
1

Technically yes. But if just can't find yourself actually attracted to them so what? Lay down, close your eyes and pray it's over quicly? Attraction is the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/25 09:02 AM
3

We have to be able to survive together with out money combined. So that currently means in my case he can have nothing, just don't make debts or spend too much and we can live on my single income. I'm not a prostitute, I'm not attracted to money. We just need to be able to survive together. I care only about spark, attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/25 08:50 AM
2

I would just stay forever alone like a widow without him. I'm romanticaly totaly blind to other men.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 10:36 AM
2

The second is better. How do you even flirt without liking each other? I can't pretend it. Either I actually FEEL it and act like that or not and then I don't know to technically flirt...
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 11:51 AM
2

I hate chores and I like work and earning money. I'm better at work than in chores. It's easier for me to work than do chores. I would prefer to have a house husband than be a housewife. I like to express my love for him by providing for him. I'm not a prostitute I don't choose a man based on his money. And if I earn enough money I don't have to worry about it. If I fall in love with a broke guy it's ok, I can provide.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 10:59 AM
2

It doesn't matter what is NOW. Important thing is if you are willing and ready to move out any second in case you find someone. I understand it doesn't make sence to pay just to be ALONE from parents if you don't need to move for job or due to toxicity or something. But if you are willing and ready any time...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 01:53 PM
3

No, we have bigger age gap with the love of my life and our emotional connection is out of this world. But I admit especially men often try to manipulate younger women and that's bad. I also must admit I look suspicious at it if the man is older. But if you just happen to genuinelly fall in love with age gap there is nothing wrong about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/25 01:38 PM
5

First doesn't mean anything. My true love totaly overwrite everything and shaped. Even though he js not my first relationship he is my only love and I consider him my first love because he is the first and only who really swept me off my feet and shaped me. And losing him absolutely destroyed me and I waited for him for years because noone could fill his shoes. I met better guys on paper but I didn't FEEL the same about them. He shaped me, shaped my preferences. I only noticed guys with similar …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/25 06:38 AM
1

I don't know what are you trying to prove. Of course noone wants to be settled for. Just not being his normal type? That's fine. The love of my life wouldn't be my normal type. But I love him and find him much more attractive than my normal type. In fact he changed my type and became my only type. So that's totaly ok that someone that wouldn't fit your normal type totaly sweeps you off your feet. But the rest of the treatement... Of course noone wants to be settled for. No, I wouldn't like it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/25 09:37 PM
1

Because you love him and trust him so much you literaly let him inside your body. And he betrays you and leaves. Because people bond with sex on neurochemical levels. And you can't just break that bond with no emotional consequences. And the more you bond and break it up it might damage your ability to pair bond because your brain in order to protect itself release less right chemicals in the future so it doesn't hurt that much in case you break it up again. And even if you technically agree but…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/25 02:08 PM
1

I don't know. I just need to FEEL it. I really don't know. I tried to put my standard and preferences on paper and I found perfect guys. But the spark was missing, I didn't FEEL it. So just chemistry, spark. But sorry I'm not able to identify it on paper.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 03:09 PM
1

But it would be desperate attempt to change his mind to commit long term. So still the desire in my head and standards apply to long term.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 03:03 PM
1

And in my experience this is right. It's not about techniques, it's only about if I have genuine raw attraction for him. And it's rare, in my case once in a lifetime rare.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 03:01 PM
2

Of course. If I don't have genuine raw desire for him to begin with how coul I ever finish with him... It's not about techniques or anything, it simply about genuine raw attraction. And it's rare, once in a lifetime rare in my case. And I wouldn't settle for less, noone wants to be settled for. But it's not about some top % men, it's about unique subjective attraction, spark or chemistry with specific person.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 02:54 PM
1

Because I would love him so desperately I would try anything. Why else? That's the only situation I can hypothetically imagine myself to deliberately do something casual.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 02:36 PM
1

I don't do anything casual and short term is just failed long term. The only situation I can imagine myself deliberately doing casual or short term is if I was desperately in love and hoping he will change his mind and commit to me. So it would be the same but I don't do anything casual or short term.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 02:28 PM
6

I would prefer it. Better start clean than with a debt (emotional baggage, trauma and habits from failed relationships). Of course I believe we can heal it especially eith the right person but it still sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/25 06:24 PM
1

Absolutely not. I need to cuddle, I sleep bad alone. It actually helps me sleep to have someone by my side in bed. alone it takes me a long time to fall asleep, with a partner it's really fast. Plus I need a lot of physical touch and cuddling. So for me absolutely not. I understand perosnal preference and that come people have trouble sleeping with someone. But for me it's really important and I need to sleep together.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 09:44 PM
1

Does go for like type 1 diabetes or that they are willing to overlook physical attraction for the sake of provider? I think it's a good idea for real genetic illnesses. But if it's in a sense they are willing to overlook physical attraction it will end up with dead bedrooms.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 09:55 AM
1

No, it simply means not personaly subjectively compatible, no spark... It doesn't mean most men are trash. You just can't negotiate genuine attraction. Even if they are hreat on paper you are not guaranteed to FEEL something for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 06:10 PM
2

Nothing. I don't know what to imagine. I just want subjective attraction that's all. To imagine high value man I would imagine rich man for a golddiger to use for money.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 06:12 PM
2

No, it doesn't make me wet. But of course golddigers say so to motivate men so the can use them for money.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 01:16 PM
4

And clean shaven, that's helps a lot in my eyes.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 03:07 PM
1

That you meet then anyd you just KNOW and you can't live without them... It's a feeling stronger than you and you have no control over. You don't pick a partner, you just get hit by Cupid's arrow.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 11:32 AM
2

Well if you are not attracted then what? Attraction is the key. If I'm not attracted but he treats me well we can be friends but it doesn't make me horny for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 12:34 PM
2

The problem is not tht noone is good enough. The problem is to find the magical spark with someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/25 07:42 PM
9

Literaly noone touched me for years beyond friendly hug. Total 100% celibacy. Still lesser evil than loveless duty sex without genuine attraction and feelings. And I self pleasure in double digits a day so it's hell, I have sex drive. But with other people I'm demisexual, I just can't if it's not genuine, my body turns off for other people if it's really not genuine. It seems to me that for men any sex even without attraction is better then no sex. But for me loveless sex is negative value, I ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/25 08:14 AM
2

Because sex drive itself and attraction range don't go hand in hand.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 10:14 AM
3

No. It's not about being truly happy single. It's just lesser evil than a wrong person. Loveless duty sex is awful, worse than loneliness. If I'm not truly attracted and in love it really turns my off, my body doesn't work, doesn't respond in positive way. I never had any kind of casual sex, I just can't, I'm probably demisexual. I hate being alone. But I know being with a wrong person is even worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/25 08:06 AM
1

Maybe I aesthetically prefer soft curvy lines rather than hard clean lines. It just seems more aesthetic to me. Plus maybe body hair? We usually see clean shaven female bodies and men are hairy. I also don't like fitness women's bodies at all, it seems hard to have such defined muscles. I just prefer soft lines. I always fear when I excersice even a little I will develop defined muscles. I really find it very ugly. My dream body is skinny fat. Not fat but soft, no definition. So I either prfere …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 01:53 PM
2

No, not at all, only the face. I always found it weird on TV when women look at men's butt. To me body can only ruin it if it's extreme. Women's bodies are more aesthetic to look at but not attractive. I'm not into women.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 01:45 PM
1

Depends on the face. Some faces are made much cuter with chubby cheeks. Some faces drown in fat.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 01:41 PM
1

I guess I'm not attracted to male bodies at all. So just don't ruin it with any extreme and it's fine... But it never helps. Only regarding having optimal fat percentage that suits his face the best, some faces are better with cute chubby cheeks, some faces drown in fat...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 01:32 PM
1

So why don't you try to date men? I'm sure plenty of gay men would take you. But I guess it's not an option to you? Why? Total lack of attraction, it just doesn't turn your body on. It just doesn't work. It doesn't heal the touch starve, it just doesn't work, it feels more like "consensual r*pe". Because the body just doesn't work and doesn't respond positively due to lack attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 01:27 PM
1

I don't care about body. Just unhealthy body weight affects face as well. Body can only ruin it but not help it in my eyes. Unless it's extreme, obese, very underweight, too much muscle... An he must be taller than me of course. So I admit that body can ruin it if it's extreme. But in my eyes body doesn't help if I don't like the face. But I guess some women are more into body than face.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 01:21 PM
1

If I'm not attracted it's not an option. So what? So I should lay down, close my eyes and pray it'sover quickly? And since it doesn't work down there without attraction use lube? Or what? A man I'm not attracted to could as well be a woman, just nothing, zero attraction, the system doesn't physicaly activate. So date men I'm not attracted to is the same as to recommend you date men. It's just not any option since there is no attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 01:18 PM
0

If plastic heartless golddigger is a "high value woman" to you sure money is the best. If you want genuine love and attraction money doesn't buy that. Maybe just don't be totaly broke so it doesn't become a blockage as she can't imagine life with you any you wouldn't be able to get a place together... Money can buy you a golddgigger but it can't buy anything genuine. Gym is also overvalued. Beauty is in the face (unless you totaly ruin it by being obese or any extreme).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 01:10 PM
1

Children ruin it. If you didn't have children to begin with you might avoid a lot of problems to argue about and ruin you relationship. You would have more money withou children so no reason to argue about money... If you didn't have children you would have sex so there wouldn't be lack of physical and emotional intimacy, you would be closer. And the closer you are the less you argue...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 01:08 PM
0

I self pleasure in double digits a day. How many men have my drive or even energy for that? But the sex drive itself and attraction range don't go hand in hand so it doesn't make me attracted to more men. So imagine you find all you dream of. And imagine it being taken away from you. I would give anything to erase the REAL loss and go back to just FOMO.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 01:03 PM
0

I didn't know either, I was lonely not knowing for a long time. But I was used to it, I didn't know any better so it was my normal. The loss was what totaly broke me down, not the FOMO. The loss is REAL. I never had anything casual, I'm not a whore. And I wish to erase the past and go back to just FOMO. Because FOMO isn't REAL, the loss is.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 12:56 PM
0

On the other hand you can't miss what you never had. You cna have FOMO. But if you find it and lose it it gets much more tangible, REAL...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 12:45 PM
1

Yes, having children ruins any romance. The problem is children, not having a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 12:32 PM
1

That it's not connected. Higher drive is not connected with wider attraction range. I think the drive itself would be equal. I think dead bedrooms are due to attraction problem (women that settle for convenience to men they are not really attracted to), not that women have lower sex drive. To me it sound like you automaticaly assume that hughrer drive comes hand in hand with wider attraction range.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:47 PM
1

Sex drive itself and attraction are two separate things. I self pleasure in double digits a day and yet it doesn't make me attracted to more men. And idea of a man I'm not really attracted to and don't love turns me off. It's not about sex drive but about attraction. Mabye for men any sex is better then no sex even with a person they are not really attracted to. But despite my high drive I'm turned off by men I'm not attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 06:05 PM
–

Cheating is worse. Maybe they didn't tell you about past because it's past, they changed, maybe they regret it, it's irrelevant now... I probably wouldn't tell a new partner immediately that I have christian past and I left church even though it was a big thing to me in the past. But maybe it could emerge later if we run into the topic or see in on TV... I don't think it's a lie not to tell him at the start, it's just irrelevant to me now. But cheating directly affects you and it is relevant to …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 08:06 PM
1

Well it's bullshit and bitter as you put it. But I agree that I think most women ar not HAPPY single. But it's still lesser evil than being with a wrong person.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 05:07 PM
-3

You can also pay off debt. But it still sucks. I believe you can still heal in most cases especially with the right person. But better avoid debt completely to begin with than paying it off. And of course the more failed relationships it affects you deeper and worse. It can also mess up your bonding hormones. If you bond and rip it apart too many times you body can reduce releasing bonding hormones to protect itself in case you break to bond again. If the bond it's weak it doesn't hurt that much…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 11:36 PM
-3

I think nothing is better than a debt (trauma from failed relationships). You can't miss what you never had. Yes, you can desire it on some level. But after you actually have it and lose it it gets much more REAL. Loss is worse than missing someting in abstract sense. Plus you have the baggage and trauma from failed relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 08:05 PM
2

I think it could be only reasonable in cases of church leaders or politicians because there probably could be the risk of false accusations due to their position. Or if as a woman you maybe have trauma and fear even your male friends... But in vast majority it's total nonsense and you probably don't trust yourself or your partner with the other gender. It doesn't matter if you don't trust other people, if you can trust your partner they will just reject the other people you can't trust.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:26 PM
5

At least 5 years younger. I look very young for my age and I find people my age too mature and boring. Younger people are my level, we understand each other better.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 12:36 PM
–

Well my problem is any casual sex and promiscouity in general. So yes it's lesser evil than deceiving and lying to women to get sex but it's still not ok, I still wouldn't date a man slut. But lesser evil is still not good. And another problem is I believe sex work is almost never truly ok. Even if they do it on their own free will that free will and their approach to sex is in vast majority of cases already broken and twisted by trauma.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 11:09 AM
–

I also believe that even if it's a free choice it's due to trauma. They might genuinely believe they enjoy it but they are in deep illusion due to trauma. Maybe tere are very few people who are truly like the. But vast majority even if they do it on they free will are broken and twisted due to trauma. So it's still not ok happy free choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 10:38 AM
1

Of course it matters. Noone wants to be settled for. Yes, it's not about chronological order but who would you choose if you had a choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 08:23 AM
1

I did, I find other perfect people and didn't FEEL it. There is more to it than technical standards. But the fact is there is one person that totaly rewired my brain that he is the only one I see. Before him it would be easier, before him I had a type that multiple men fit. But now only he is my type.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 10:46 PM
3

Because it's not about that. It's not about technical things. It's about spark. There is part of it that can't fit in technical description. It's when you just click, you just FEEL it. You can meet absolutely perfect person by every checkbox but not FEEL chemistry with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 10:39 PM
4

“You’re just not my type” actually means I'm not attracted to you. Just said in a nice way. But it literaly means that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 10:33 PM
1

I would and did ask that. If it's importatnt to me there is no other way but to ask what I need to know.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 12:13 PM
1

Yes, we shoul be the only one for each other. So you either forget and let them go completely or do everything to be together if you still love them. And if you can't but can't let them go completely you stay alone like a widow with memories of them (which is my option as I love the love of my life but we are separated hopefully only temporarily, but even if forever I can't date as my heart is already taken by someone). But with my other ex we are still friends because the feelings wer never so …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/04/25 07:44 AM
2

We need to be able to survive together with out money combined. And I can provide that on my single income. So he can come with 0, no income, just don't be a bug minus, don't make debts... I can pay for everything. But the standard is to be able to survive together with our money combined, in relationship there are only OUR money.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 09:14 PM
1

No, I wouldn't be able to enjoy the money alone. I already have money. It's totaly worthless alone with noone to share and enjoy it with.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 01:56 PM
-1

I always thought it's just an excuse for lack of spark/attraction. Because for men it's often too vague explanation and they demand some specific reason you put your finger on. So you make up an "ick" to shut them up. If you were attracted to begin with you wouldn't notice how long they open the door, you wouldn't nitpick every little thing about them. But If the attraction is missing to begin with you see them in more negative light so you are more likely to notice anything little weird they do…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 02:32 PM
3

I can't relate. My "ick" was actually lack of being emotional. Sure the real reason was lack of spark. But looking back trying to rationalize it what they had in common was lack of being emotional, sharing feelings, pouring their hearts out... And with the person I love we developed it on sharing feelings to begin with... So I'm true to my liberal values, I really don't value tradition gender roles. Also I always earned more money in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 02:14 PM
-3

There are no "ick". She simply didn't like you to begin with, she just didn't feel the spark. She went out with you hoping that the spark will develop but it didn't. So "ick" is just and excuse if you demand answer and don't take missing spark for an answer. And after some experience women don't try to bother to explain you missing spark and just make up some "ick" excuse to give you an answer and shut you up.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 02:06 PM
1

But that's a good thing. There shouldn't be any other reason than simply love. If there is a practical reason it leads to loveless relationships of convenience. Remember the "jokes" of older generations how they hate their spouses.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 10:55 AM
1

I actually think monogamy is natural and normal. Almost everone dreams to meet the one idealy at high school and spend whole life with them. Noone dreams to have multiple failed relationship and their heart broken over and over again before they finally settle with the one. Casual sex culture is probably still overcompensation for the very restrictive past.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 09:46 AM
2

Yes, I'm naturally monogamous. Since I met him I genuinely didn't even notice any other guy. It's not about morals not to cheat but that he totaly wiped out anyone else and I just became "blind" to all others and I just don't even notice them. My brain somehow rewired and he is truly the only one I see. Before him I had the morals but I still liked actors for example. Now the actors leave me ice cold. So still it's about finding the right person, not just being naturally monogamous to begin with…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 06:00 AM
2

I'm chaste and asexual for everyone else but total slut only for him. He is simply the only one that makes me FEEL passion and desire. It's possible if you meet the right person.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 02:48 PM
–

Chemistry or spark. It's not objective metric you just have to click with each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/25 09:30 AM
4

I don't think so. In my case I can only imagine if faced with real possibility of ending up on the street and for some reason having absolutely no other option how to earn money... We have no idea what we would be capable of in survival situation... So I think it's more an issue of how desperate I'm than how much you can offer. As long as I can survive on my own there is not enough money in the world to convince me, maybe not even then but we have no idea unless really faced with totaly desperat…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 12:06 PM
33

No, doesn't work for me. We could be friends but nothing more. I'm not a prostitute, I don't sell myself for money. And I can't lie to him, I can't stomach to just lay down, close my eyes and pray it's over quickly. If the spark is missing we can max be friends. I have never developed it and I'm not a liar or a prostitute to pretend love.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 11:30 AM
1

No, plastic surgery doesn't affect you at all. She still looks the some when she wakes up, it doesn't wash off, it doesn't disappear in even few weeks or months. It's permanent change, she really look like that now. It doesn't affect you or hurt you. Lying does directly affect and hurt her. Maybe if you want to have children and they might inherit traits you wouldn't like. But if you don't want to have children it simply doesn't affect you and it's not a lie because it's permanent and now she ac…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 02:34 PM
1

There is much more in romantic relationships than sex. Friendships simply don't go that deep ever. With a partner it's lifetime commitment, living together, sharing a life every day, sharing money, everyting, relying on each other. You can't expect such lifetime absolute commitment from friends. And emotional depth and intimacy... No, you can't pretend that sex is the only difference between friendship and romantic relationship. But I agree if you talk about the guys that are asking how to get c…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 11:35 AM
1

Well I can't really compare as I only ever truly loved one person in my life. But generally actors or crushes I had before all match what I would consider and describe as my type. But it's really really all in one package. I remember I thought that and actor is good looking but he played not very nice character on TV and it totaly ruined him in my eyes, I could not longer "see" his good looks. I really can't separate and differenciate those aspects as physical attraction, emotional connection, l…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 11:28 AM
1

I don't feel love and lust separately. It comes as one big package so I'm not able to differenciate. But I fall in love quickly. I never developed it. Max within days, up to a week or two. But as I said it comes in one big package with love and emotional connection... I never thought something like "he is hot but I wouldn't date him for personality". It's automaticaly connected as one big package with love.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 09:53 AM
1

There is only one true love. You cam get lucky and meet them at high school without even trying or not meet them at thousands of tries. It's about ONE, not about quantity.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 11:12 AM
1

Yes, everyone has just one true soulmate.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 10:44 AM
1

There is only one the one, quantity doesn't matter. If drug addicts and abusers can find the spark anyone can. You just need to meet your ONE right person.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 10:38 AM
1

I'm faced with that reality and I still choose loneliness over prostituting myself. Or even over loveless relationship of convenience.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 10:35 AM
1

It's still lacking any emotional fullfillment since it's not real. You would be better off getting a pet at least they might genuinely love you. Or just find real friends. I simply don't see any point in paying for a company or sex, it's not real, there is nothing genuine.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 10:30 AM
2

Then why is it called sex work? Sure, it's possible but 99% the time it's not the case of companionship.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 10:17 AM
1

Generaly maybe don't smell bad, clear skin, don't hurt people or be openly evil. Just requirements to be able to normally function in society. Other than that everything is unique to each individual. And even if you meet totaly perfect person according to your own personal list of checkboxes it doesn't guarantee chemistry. Why do you think people stay with abusers? They love them, they FEEL the spark despite them definitely not meeting the list of checkboxes.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 10:16 AM
2

Better be alone than suffer repulsive loveless sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 10:00 AM
1

You are totaly missing the point that love is not about checkboxes on paper but about falling in love, having spark, chemistry with specific person.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 09:43 AM
2

Yes, that's my true genuine feelings, not religious morals.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 08:34 AM
2

Totaly disgusting. And I don't get it. I absolutely need real genuine emotional connection so I just don't see how it could possibly be satisfying in any way to buy it. Money can't buy love. This is beyond my understanding and I'm disgusted by it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 08:16 AM
1

There is nothing positive about trauma, emotional baggage and habits from failed relationships. There are people that value sex as a part of commitment and don't want to do it with a person they are not going to be with forever. You can still heal it with the right person but it still sucks and you would be better of without the trauma to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/04/25 06:35 PM
6

Totaly ice cold because I love HIM. I don't love him for a list of standards, I didn't choose him for what he can technically provide and if he is better than other men... I was simply hit by Cupid's arrow, I just fell in love out of nowhere. And list of standards doesn't hit me with Cupid's arrow. It's what he makes me FEEL, not a list of standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/25 06:38 AM
–

I have enough money for both of us, I automaticaly count I will pay. He should be active. But I also want him to be emotional. I don't expect traditional masculine behaviour but equal partner. I don't even really like very masculine behaviour nor looks. I would also prefer to work and have a house husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 08:21 PM
1

Why? I wouldn't be able to love a man whore as my child.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/25 08:03 PM
1

He has the be bigger and taller than me in heels. I'm average height for a woman and small size so no problem for at least 90% of men. My specific person is average height for a man and big boned. Income doesn't matter. General rule is that we can survive togethe with our money combined. And since I already have enough money to provide for both of us can have NOTHING, just not sabotage it by too much spending making debts... Rather have worse job than spending too much overtimes at work so we ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 07:58 PM
2

Make me FEEL the spark. That's all. If he can make me FEEL it I will "break my own rules" and compromise on almost anything. But I don't know HOW create that spark. In terms on paper the bare minimum I wouldn't be able to compromise on are children, I'm childfree and doing that to my body is a line I won't cross no matter what. Plus romance ends with children anyway so it wouldn't be worth it at the end. I'm willing to move for him even if it means worse job. But I'm not able to pretend and act …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 07:21 PM
0

Yes it is. We can't pretend it doesn't emotionaly hurt you, we can't pretend you can break such a deep bond with people and suffer no consequences. We have bonding hormones, we bond with sex, it's very deep. And if you rip that bond apart there is inevitable emotional damage. And if you do it too much maybe next time when you really want to you find out you are not able to really commit because maybe your body in order to protect itself from future harm reduced releasing those bonding hormones. …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 06:41 PM
0

That's only YOUR stupid choice, you shouldn't make the other person suffer because you CHOOSE against abortion. Ok, SHE wants it, she can have it. But she shouldn't force another person into 18 yeasr financila slavery. Get abortion and stop making your choices someone else's problem. IF women have a choice even AFTER an accident already happened men deserve equal right.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 06:28 PM
0

Still minor compared to actual birth. You are scared of abortion but you are brave enough for childbirth? So I guess you are anti abortion fanatic. Because IF women have a choice even AFTER an accident men deserve equal. No worries, I can get contraception and my country is safe from fanatics banning abortion.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 06:25 PM
1

You are. If I got pregnant I would just get abortion ASAP. The irresponsible thing is to do is bring unwanted child into the world and condemn another human being to 18 years financial slavery. You had a choice IF abortion is legal, it's only your own fault and you should suffer the consequences of your choice alone. Again IF abortion is legal where you live.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 06:22 PM
2

That's just looking for a silver lining in a bad situation. You would still be better off if the bad thing didn't happen at all to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 06:18 PM
-1

Ok so do it alone. YOU decide ALONE so suffer the consequences of YOUR choice alone too.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 06:16 PM
-1

So is explicitely saying you don't want a child or pay abortion price. You can't compare minor medical procedure with 18 years financial slavery.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 06:15 PM
0

You can get abortion, you willingly choose not to. Allergic to accountability?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 05:50 PM
4

You can't learn relationships. You can only learn relationship with one specific person, with anyone else you are starting over from zero. There is nothing positive about "experiences". Failed relationships only give you trauma, emotional baggage and habits that could interfere when you find the right person. Of course you can heal that all with the right person but it still sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 05:39 PM
7

Yes, love is more, it's not just a friend that is good looking to you. You need special spark.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 06:31 AM
5

Once in a lifetime.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/25 05:53 AM
2

Not attracted but women are prettier than men. But you can also tell if some other guy is good looking but that doesn't mean you FEEL attracted to him. So I don't do anything sexual with women, don't watch porn and anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 07:07 PM
2

Late 20's. I always liked more cute feminine guys. I always hated beards and never liked very manly men. When I tried dating apps beards were automatic disqualification, I just can't overlook that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 07:05 PM
6

I like pretty boys. I absolutely hate that manly big beard fashion today.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 07:01 PM
6

Obviously it's different if you genuinely happen to fall in love with age difference and if you manipulate and use money to do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/25 10:03 AM
2

I think it's automatic to consider for most people, at least women. I fail on attraction part, I just can't happen to get attracted to anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 08:00 PM
2

That's true but it's still the only person you can at least hypothetically hope will be with you forever. With anyone else there is no hypothetical hope at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 02:06 PM
2

There is no better fullfillment than finding your true love and just being with them. Children kill any romance and they leave you anyway when they become adult. The only person to be there with you forever is a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/25 01:59 PM
0

I absolutely despise whores so rather B.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 06:46 PM
2

I 100% agree, it's wrong to force it in to someone and force them to pay for at least 18 years... But I hope as you correctly say a person cannot consent to something they are not even aware of you also agree that lying about intentions for relationship when you just want sex is the same case because the person agrees under belief it's in commitment and is not aware about the casual intentions.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 09:46 AM
1

Yes legal rights are equal. But there is still a lot of residual patriachal expectations and mindset in a lot of people. Like automaticaly expecting women to do most chores, expecting men to earn more than the woman in a relationship... Legaly it's already equal but the mindset and gendered expectations are still there and it's a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/25 08:29 AM
1

Never, I'm monogamous by nature and I would never share. I would rather be homeless with the man I love than a loveless billionaire.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 11:14 AM
1

I can't separate sex from love. I want love, emotional connection, I want to share life, enjoy life together.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 11:13 AM
2

Well I'm still barely old enough for more than 10 years difference would be legal but close. On the internet but we just clicked, I first rejected him for his age but from the first few messages we clicked instantly and it was impossible to stop talking and it developed... So I'm not a person that would purposely search for very young guys to manipulate them or something. But we clicked so strongly to begin with that it just happened. The conversation just flowed naturaly from the start and we a…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 07:51 AM
1

Men often carry fat better due to larger frames. And actually some chubby cheeks can be cute in a good way. Overweight is fine for both men and women. Obese is a problem
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 09:19 PM
1

I also expect zero, just him, his presence, just being together. I don't want him for any personal gain, I don't see relationships as transactional, I just want to be with him for HIM not something I can use him for and he can give me. Of course then doing things for each other stems from genuine desire to make each other happy. But that is natural expression of genuine feelings, not heartless transaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 09:15 PM
1

I also expect zero, just him, his presence, just being together. I don't want him for any personal gain, I don't see relationships as transactional, I just want to be with him for HIM not something I can use him for and he can give me. Of course then doing things for each other stems from genuine desire to make each other happy. But that is natural expression of genuine feelings, not heartless transaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 09:15 PM
–

You can't miss what you never had. There is still the curiosity and desire to try, maybe comparing to others. But after trying it gets more REAL, stronger, worse, harder...
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 08:12 PM
3

He is willing to work but just normal average job, I mean no potential for having "high status" job or impressive money. But I like that, I want him to actually be with me and not spend long overtimes at work. Well let's say 5-10 years younger, closer to 10. But I look so young his family genuinely thought I'm younger than him and asked me when I will start the same level education he was already studying. Objectively I have to say there nothing special about him, I would easily find better on p…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 04:48 PM
–

I felt similar until I met the one person that I really love. But he is the only one, for everyone else I'm asexual. But with him I really feel raw desire and want it all the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 03:02 PM
0

Yes, there are asexual or aromantic people but that's not the norm, that's special case. Or people that have broken bonding to begin with for some reason or due to childhood trauma. Or people who managed to break it already by casual sex and emotional trauma... But otherwise it affects everyone. If not you are either broken to begin with or really outlier whose brain and emotions just work differently by nature.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:43 PM
0

You are just already too damaged to strongly feel it, after all we adapt and get used to pain, the damage still happens you just adapt to higher pain tolerance. Or you are already adapted so your body doesn't release much hormones in order to prevent damage of ripping the bond, so that's the case of being broken to begin with. Sex automaticaly releases strong dose of hormones, it always goes deep, unless you already managed to break your bonding ability.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:38 PM
2

But sex always goes deep. Sex is never light.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:02 PM
1

I don't have sources. But it's logical. Body adapts. If it was hurt in the past it will want to prevent that kind of damage in the future. Well sure you shouldn't avoid bonding. But you shouldn't plan in advance to rip it apart. And if you fo casual you plan the damage in advance. It's not an accident, you purposely plan the damage in advance. Of course you shouldn't stop leaving the house and stop living life in order to avoid accidents. But you shouldn't plan damage in advance. Well being apar…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 12:59 PM
1

But it is ripped apart. It's proven that being separated from the person you love (are bonded with) has the same effect as physical pain. So it's still damaging anyway. There doesn't exist a way to do casual without damage, well only if you are already broken beyond repair it doesn't further affect you I guess. Even if you reduce pain there is still damage, lesser than doing it violently but it isn't possible totaly without damage. You can somewhat reduce damage but not totaly eliminate it. Casu…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 12:42 PM
1

And damages the pair bonding ability because later you body might product less of the bonding hormones in order to protect itself so in case you break the bond again it doesn't suffer as much as before. Exactly it's bonding in either case but ripping that bond apart causes significant harm and damage.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 12:24 PM
2

Yes, the chemistry works to bond anyway. But in casual case you rip that bond apart after the act and tearing the bond causes deep emotional harm.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 12:21 PM
6

Well it depends. With the person you love it's deep bonding experience. Casual it is objectifying and damaging.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 11:58 AM
6

Noone choose like that simply bases on height. It's the issue of attraction and you can't negotiate attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 09:07 AM
1

I'm shy by nature.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 07:34 AM
1

Like this on paper no, I feel weird about it. In reality IF we clicked on emotional level and I fell in love it wouldn't stop me. But like this the thought gives me "ick". And practicaly I worry how his private parts would work.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 07:31 AM
3

Objectively he is totaly average, no money, not potential for money, overweight, much younger than me (but I look younger than him, people even mistake me for a teenager)... But he has a good heart and the emotional connection is out of this world. The way he makes me FEEL... And also hot passion. But by standards you can put on paper there is absolutely nothing special about him. It's just subjective attraction and emotional connection, we just clicked on soul level. It's purely on emotional le…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 07:19 AM
7

So it's possible to have both in one person. I think it's the ideal.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 10:01 PM
5

Well I'm totaly asexual for anyone else but have absolutely crazy desire for him... So it is possible to be chaste and then a whore but only for him and noone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/25 09:29 PM
1

If he can make me FEEL something for him it's so rare that I would wait for eternity and follow him to the end of the world. I like the idea of waiting for marriage. If he doesn't see me as long term commited partner then what is even the point of being together? So depends on the reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 08:59 PM
2

I need deep emotional connection. I have absolutely zero desire if the emotional connection is not there. I never has anything casual because I just don't feel attraction without emotioanl connection. I think that the emotioanl connection is chemistry. I don't know, I can't separate love and sex at all so it's the same thing for me. I don't think anything shaped it, I don't restrict myself for morality, it's how I genuinely feel deep inside about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 06:33 PM
0

Yes, I think most men don't have parental instinct, they only have kids for the woman. Or for ego of "legacy" which could fall under social pressure. Some men are actively childfree, very small minority actually want to have children. But most just automatically accept it as social norm and go with it or have ego of "legacy". I don't want children, all I want it true love. But what about mothers who let their boyfriends abuse their children? Or even if it's the father of the children but he hurt…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/25 06:29 PM
2

But since he is bi what if he craves to at least once try what it's like with a man?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:47 PM
2

I just FEEL bad about it. I know that maybe that one individual bisexual man can be totaly monogamous. But feelings are not logical. I absolutely despise promiscouity and casual sex and I know that gay community is very promiscous so it gives me that special "ick".
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:44 PM
2

But bi man is more likely to be promiscous. And maybe I'm wrong but I just FEEL bad about it, feelings don't have to be logical.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:41 PM
1

I just FEEL bad about it. And also gays are very promiscous so it's very likely he has promiscoous past with men. I'm generaly jealous and wouldn't date anyone with promiscous and casual past. But with bisexual men there is that extra concern.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:37 PM
4

I just can't get past the promiscouity in gay community and bisexual guy is likely to also be a part of that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:33 PM
0

But bisexual can cheat even if he loves you for that totaly different experience. And also he is more likely to have promiscous past from gay community. Well children ruin relationships and you can't have sex pregnant and with children.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 03:01 PM
3

I don't know much about lesbian community. But promiscouity in gay community is very well known. I think from what I know that lesbians still seek emotional connection and love. But in gay communities it's just casual sex, super promiscous... Well technicaly physicaly a man can do everything that another woman can. I know hetero guy can cheat too but then he doesn't love you. But bi guy can cheat and still love you because that's not about love it's just so different and as a woman I can never g…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 02:38 PM
10

I just feel it comes with a risk he would cheat on me with a man. Because that's totaly different type of sex that I could ever possibly give him. That he just have taste for both and it's so different that he can't just choose one forever. Also I know that gay men are generaly very promiscous and as he is or was part of that community I would project it on him. And also possibly promiscous past in gay community... Maybe I'm wrong but this is how I feel about that and what is going on in my brai…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 02:21 PM
1

No, can't remember any example. It's vibes and heart.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/25 11:27 AM
2

They would most likely find a man with similar job so not much improvement worth settling for a man they are not truly attracted to. And they can still survive on their own and have their own money, bank account without a man's approval...
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 08:16 PM
5

Well if he can't even make me horny he can't definitely make me finish... So I would say it's result of settling because he can't make you finish if he can't even turn you on.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 07:42 PM
3

It really happened just once and I overthinked it over and over again and still can't pinpoint WHAT is that X factor he had that everyone else is missing even if they are better in paper. It's nothing you can put on paper, that's 100% sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 03:33 PM
3

Yes, it seems so. I can't argue with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 11:45 AM
5

Yes exactly, that's the only way for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 11:02 AM
4

Yes, exactly. I just want can't live without each other love that consumes me. And if I FEEL it then I break my own rules for him and all standards and logic is thrown out of window. Yes, it's OUR money, I also did that as the higher earning party in the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 10:54 AM
4

Exactly and I'm also ready to share the money. He doesn't have to "provide" anything, we just need feelings for each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 10:42 AM
1

I always told them after date that there was no spark. If we only texted it usually just faded away. Or you tell them no but they keep insisting and don't take the answer and it doesn't stop so you have no other choice but to block them on the app. So either it just fades away or they don't stop trying to argue with you and you have no choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 09:55 AM
1

So only go for women you feel real attraction for. Women also don't deserve to be settled for.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 09:51 AM
1

But it's the same for women. You can't choose who you actually FEEL attracted to. And if you decline you can go a very long time without attraction. I don't know how you totaly forget about attraction part.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 09:48 AM
2

Often we don't know what is IT that makes us attracted. I just FEEL it but I'm not able to identify it. It's vibes. I met lot of guys who were good looking and kind and we had shared interests and they would be ideal on paper... But the vibes X factor I'm not able to pinpoint was missing.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 09:33 AM
1

Maybe we have variety to settle for. But you can't choose who you actually FEEL attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 09:28 AM
5

Well but I don't want that, I have my own money. The only thing I need a man for is love, emotional connection, attraction, just purely emotional needs... And I "offer" the same back. Of course the spark has to be mutual. Of course I come with my own money that I'm ready to share and enjoy together, we are supposed to share chores, have each other's back, support each other, take care of each other when sick... So just be there for each other, provide emotional fullfillment. And everything goes …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 08:26 AM
11

I don't want that, I have my own money. The only thing I need from a man is love, emotional connection and raw attraction. And I "offer" the same back. Just give me feelings, the spark...
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/25 08:06 AM
1

Well everyone makes mistakes. Maybe just just didn't want to be alone so you mistaken not being alone for love... But it only causes emotional trauma. Or you knew but just wanted sex and then you are really bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 09:17 PM
1

Or he just hasn't met the one and didn't waste his virginity on a wrong person.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 07:38 PM
1

Because it has to be some alignment in the stars. Also good looking is not the same as attraction. I'm sure you can acknowledge good looking man but you're not gay and not FEEL attracted to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/25 07:50 AM
0

Yes, it's a problem I can't define what I'm looking for, it can't be put on paper as a standard. I don't know how to create it if it doesn't come natural. If I have to tell him directly to share feelings it kills the magic. But it has to be natural flow in conversation and if you don't have it and have to force conversation I don't think it can somehow develop.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 01:12 PM
3

No, I just FEEL it when I find it. I'm not able to define it. Maybe something to do with emotional vulnerability and sharing feelings. But also there has to be the spark, can't be just in friendly way. But I don't know. Today I read here that as autistic person I might have emotional empathy but low cognitive empathy. So I FEEL things but then don't know how to properly react or do about it. And I also can't define and explain WHAT it is that I feel.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 12:56 PM
4

If you find your match it will go automaticaly because your personalities will be in alignment. But thanks for explaining my Asperger problem. It seems I have emotional empathy because I feel things but low cognitive empathy because I don't know how to properly react or do about it
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 07:40 AM
2

Well you probably can't see vibes from photo and short text on the apps...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 05:15 PM
2

It's hard for everyone to deal with it. That's why I say it maybe better to have somewhat similar level if trauma so you better understand each other's healing. Then it's not the right person if they are like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 01:16 PM
3

It goes for everyone. But it can still heal with the right person. Also debts can be paid if. So it's not end of the world, you can fix it. But better to start clear without that complication. Also it's wrong to pass your trauma on less experienced people on purpose. And maybe better to be at somewhat similar level of trauma so you have more understanding for each other's healing.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 12:48 PM
3

For me willing to sleep with is the last step, not the first. For me sex is not "just sex", not just physical. It's the absolute maximum you can have with someone. It's the highest expression of deepest love. If I'm willing to sleep with you I'm already willing to follow you to the ened of the world and I have undying devotion to you. I can't separate sex from love. I have never thought "I wouldn't marry him but he is hot for sex." And also I would never say "I love him but I don't really desire…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 08:32 AM
1

I know I'm into cute pretty boys, I never liked very masculine men. But the X factor is about vibes more than looks. So in looks I know my types. But the vibes I can't define WHAT it is specificaly.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 08:13 AM
1

1 in 10? You're lucky. I only felt it once in my lifetime. If I found it it's too rare to be picky about it. Si I don't have any other standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 08:10 AM
11

I don't know, I only ever loved one person and he is not conventionaly attractive. But by looks I think there would be enough good looking guys otherwise. But attraction is more vibes than looks.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 07:44 AM
7

Well I can't choose my feelings so it's not my MAKING. But it's on my side, not that the men are so bad. But it's subjective attraction, everyone has different type and there is someone for everyone. It's not about being conventionally attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 12:43 AM
1

I got my heart stolen once and never got it back. Before I also wouldn't believe in "the one". But once it happens to you... The problem is it becomes a curse if it fails for some reason because then nothing compares.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 11:55 PM
3

Yes, I misunderstood that there is specific person you are in love with but she is with someone else. Well you think that until you meet that one person that steals your heart.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 11:46 PM
4

What "icks"? I think "icks" are if you like them and then the "ick" kills it. But I just didn't feel absolutely anything at all to begin with so there was nothing to kill by "ick". they were good on paper and good looking but my heart was ice cold towards them. And I already found the love of my life, very sweet and emotional, much younger than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 11:42 PM
5

Ew, no. I don't want aggresive masculine man that is beating people. I'm into sweet emotional pretty boys.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 11:38 PM
1

But there is still difference if you actually care to get to know them as a person for real relationship or you just want sex. There is a difference if you swipe on everyone in hopes for casual sex or if you read profiles to see if you could be compatible. Yes, you don't care for them at the moment you swipe on them. But you should care to get to know them as a person if you are a good match for real relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 11:35 PM
5

That makes it even worse. You love someone else but deceiving people to use them for short term casual relationship. I also have the one I'm separated from. So that's why I don't date, I already love someone. I don't want to use someone as a consolation prize and emotionaly cheat on that person.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 11:27 PM
1

In my case it confirmed in person. But I have only this one example. So I can't compare, I never experienced killing attraction or building attraction... But I believe it could be possible to kill it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 11:12 PM
6

But he is not conventionally attractive, doesn't have money nor potential to earn lot of money. It's subjective attraction or vibes, not conventional. No other women ever wanted him. Other women would be turned of by the vibes that attracted me to him.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 11:05 PM
2

If you really put it like that, yes that's a golddiging prostitute to my moral standards. Yes, you can get lucky and grow som lukewarm "love" if you feel some basic physical attraction or at least not repulsion to him. But still that's transactional relationhip so exchanching sex for benefits that his finanacial ambitions provide. And exchanching sex for money or benefits is definition of prostitution. The only difference is number of clients and lenght of the transaction. But of course you can …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 11:02 PM
2

Yes, I acknowledge the swamp that there are men looking for just sex without caring about women as a person. But my main problem is attraction, it's mostly on me. Most of them seemed like genuinely good people looking for real relationship. I think the real swamp might be just visible minority.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 10:41 PM
1

Me too. I guess especially for men it's convenient to have someone while looking for the one they would actually want to marry.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 10:36 PM
5

To me it was online but from the first message I felt pulled to him, the conversation just flowed effortlessly, I guess that was the "vibes" showing online. And then my first reaction to his photo was that he is good looking but not like the most beautiful person I have ever seen. So it was to vibes definitely, not look. But if I found him ugly I guess it would kill the vibes. So looks are part of it but not everything. Yes, I can only share my experience, I don't understand it scientifically.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 10:24 PM
9

It wasn't any "ick". The FEELING was just lacking to begin with. I can't say anything bad about them. Only that mysterious stars aligned FEELING was missing.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 09:49 PM
1

Possibly. I really hoped it will come in person. With with the only one where it was online it confirmed in person. And with the guys with only friendly flow nothing changed in person. But I have only one example so I can't compare.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 09:47 PM
6

I don't know. I honestly don't know. They were good looking, genuinely kind good people, smart, funny, aligning values, mutual interests, compatible life goals... Everyting you can put on paper was perfect. But the X factor, spark, chemistry, attraction was missing. I felt true attraction only once in my lifetime. I find people good looking but it doesn't make me FEEL attracting. It's the same as you can probably tel if another guy is good looking, yes you are not blind, you are able to acknowle…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 09:45 PM
2

I can't compare more examples as I only truly loved one person in my life. I hoped it will come in person even when I didn't feel it online but they were good but it didn't work. There is difference between friendly flow and romantic flow.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 09:35 PM
–

And I don't positively physically react to people I'm not attracted to. So that's the same as suggesting you to have sex with men. No positive physical reaction in either case.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 09:20 PM
0

Same as woman, very sad. Must have trauma from failed relationships. At that age it's likely that their heart is broken beyond repair... Apllies to both genders. I don't comment on childless part as I'm childfree so I don't see anything sad about that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 09:00 PM
3

Yes, looks are still important, but it's just a part of it, it's about "vibes", the X factor. But of course I most probably wouldn't see X factor in someone who really isn't good looking in my eyes. But looks are not objective, everyone has different type. Yes, that's the problem, it's impossible to explain or define it. But I think you can feel it online. With the love of my life we had that flow of energy in our messages from the very start. The conversation just flowed so easily. I didn't hav…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 08:57 PM
2

Yes, as I said in few cases it was obvious in first few messages that they don't care about me as a person and swipe on everyone because they want just sex at all cost. But most of them seemed genuinely good people so I don't project bad intention on them. I don't rule out the possibility but I didn't find anything wrong about them. But I don't like the conventionally attractive fuckboy type and I read the profiles. So I didn't swipe on them. I also didn't swipe if they were open to casual. So i…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 08:47 PM
2

I'm don't feel attraction often enough to be picky when I feel it. It works that you just fall in love, you just FEEL it. And you feel it to a person, not a list of standards. If you choose based on list of standards it's not love, it's transactional for benefits and convenience but it's not love. Or maybe you feel attraction to a very wide range of men that you can be picky within the men you already feel genuinely attracted to. Then I guess it's ok to choose the best standarts within people yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 08:40 PM
2

It is shallow. Maybe it's reasonable but if you choose according to money you are basicaly a type of prostitute.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 08:30 PM
6

Exactly, some aligment in stars is what I need to feel to FEEL attraction. It's not sarcastic and please don't use it sarcastically (I know that's not the case here, just saying). It's a FEELING I truly can't explain and I can't explain what makes that feeling. Yes, he needs to be good looking in my eayes but that's just a part of it, it's about "vibes". I realy don't know WHAT it is. It's a mystery to me. But I know it when I FEEL it. It's possible that the men I interacted with were the bad me…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 08:09 PM
20

My "swamp problem" is that I simyply can't find myself FEEL attracted to most men. It's not looks, if they looked bad I wouldn't give them like on the apps. It's vibes problem, chemistry, spark... I didn't have bad experience, I met genuinely good men. At least I think so. They could be just pretending in prder to use me for sex, but I wasn't attracted to them so I didn't give them a chance and just never found out possibly. But from what I know I can say anything bad about most men I communicat…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 07:56 PM
17

My problem is not that men are that bad but that I simply don't FEEL attraction. Even if they are good looking it's the same as seeing a pretty woman, yes they look good, I see that, I'm not blind, but it doesn't make me FEEL attraction. I only felt attraction once, maybe twice in my life. It's about vibes / spark / chemistry, not just looks. But I believe in the swamp theory that there are many men just wanting sex at all cost withou actually giving a shit about the woman as a person. So my "sw…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 07:34 PM
3

From youngest up to my age when I was using apps but I prefer younger. I never lied about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 09:58 AM
7

It's better to have nothing than a debt (trauma, emotional baggage and habits form failed relationships). So I would actually very much prefer a virgin. But there could be worry that he is settling for her as a starter girlfriend and will want to get more experience when he gains confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 01:48 PM
2

I still keep the same ideals even though the world is not perfect.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 07:58 AM
1

Because in reality attraction is not based on a list of ideal standards. It's chemistry, it just happens regardless your ideal list. Attraction is irrational, you can't choose it. And if you very rarely feel attraction it's too special to pass so you rather try to make it work even if it's not ideal or you can go again single without feeling attraction for a very long time.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 08:22 AM
1

I think this is it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 08:18 AM
4

But it's too rare to pass if you happen to win a lottery and finaly FEEL it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 07:55 AM
2

Yes, exactly. Attraction just happens and it doesn't happen bases on checklist. It's such a rare occasion that you are willing to overlook anything for that excitement. I only felt it once, naby twice in my lifetime. So if he can make me FEEL that I'm willing to compromise on nearly anything. It's too rate to be picky if I feel it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 07:53 AM
1

Either you FEEL it or not. You must have the spark. It's not that you choose to overlook. If so you are settling for convenience. And chemistry is not a about being conventionally attrative, everyone has different type. It's more about "vibe". There just have to be spark/chemistry between two people. And I'm not willing to overlook it, if I don't feel genuine desire for him I'm not going to settle for convenience.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 07:08 AM
2

No, nothing to do with astrology, it's just a saying. That you just see somehow and you just FEEL it, it feels like destiny. It's not looks but somehow you just FEEL it, you feel pulled to that person.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 04:41 PM
1

If the stars align and you somehow FEEL that it's destiny. There is no how, it just has to happen, you can't make it happen on purpose.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 04:39 PM
4

Maybe if stars aligned and he took my breath away on the first sight... Or after being stuck together on a full bus for example and having a nice friendly conversation and at the end he asked... But generaly 99.99% I would automatically reject in any way.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 04:35 PM
2

There are no leagues, just two people need to have mutal spark. And untill that happens just be alone then settle for someone you are not reall attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 04:20 PM
1

Subjective attraction. Yes, he is taller than me in heels but nothing exceptional. In fact our height difference is the same as a difference between average height for women and and men in our country and we also fit that average height for our gender. So that's all conventionally attractive that he is tall. Otherwise he is fat, doesn't have money or potential to earn lot of money, he is very emotional (I love that but I guess it's not conventionally attractive), other women never wanted him so …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 11:54 AM
1

Yes exactly. As a shy socially awkward woman you are less involved in social situations.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 10:12 AM
1

Just stop trying it on any random woman to get a relationship at all cost and focus specificaly only on women that you are really attracted to and really feel the spark with.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 09:50 AM
1

I believe so. Definitely in my case. Of course you will always have some golddigers but I think it's going down as we can earn our own money and don't need to settle for the sake of provider. But the world is not perfect and there are always evil and manipulative people exploiting others, men and women. Or people can settle out of despair because they don't want to be alone. That would be honest mistake, not evil intentions. But more men settle out of despair that it's better than nothing until …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 09:40 AM
8

Women in poor countries settle because they need a provider. It's for money, not true attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 01:13 PM
2

Yes, I don't know why they don't understand that sex drive and attraction is not automaticaly the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/25 01:14 AM
2

I don't know, doesn't range for me. I'm picky eater and even hungry I just can't eat what I don't eat. It turns my stomach, I really physically can't. I have texture issues with food. Maybe if my life was really in danger due to hunger. But no matter ow hungry I'm I can't eat certain foods as it really turns my stomach. But maybe if my life was really in danger due to lack of food I guess I would eat it and maybe even spoiled moldy food... But I can tell, I have never experienced close to my lif…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 12:37 PM
3

I self pleasure in double digits a day, I have insane drive. Do you have energy and drive for double digits a day or am I really hornier than most? But I'm celibate because I'm simply not attracted to most men. Truth is I love only one but we are separated. But even before. I'm horny, just not to most men. Sex drive itself and attraction are two different things. I'm horny, just not TO YOU. Also I can't separate sex from love. You can be hungry but picky so you eat a lot but narrow range of food…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/03/25 08:39 AM
3

Sex drive itself and attraction are two different things. Yes, women are just as horny but no to most men.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 11:34 PM
2

If you want a man only for money you can become a sex worker, you don't need to manipulate people who might want genuine non transactional relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 03:54 PM
2

If you just haven't happen to meet the one it's good you were emotionally inteligent enough to not be desperate for a relationship and waste time on wrong people and give yourself trauma from failed relationships. If you look for standards instead of the right person and emotional connection it's bad. Yes, it's better to be alone than with a wrong person. Plus failed relationships only give you emotional trauma. But people are often desperate that they take anything for the sake of not being alo…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/25 02:46 PM
1

It's about attraction as you know. Even as you put it men value effort for personal gain, it doesn't create genuine attraction. The only difference is that for you the gain is sex even without genuine feelings. For women that settle the gain is money, stability, having children...
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 07:11 PM
1

The world was never perfect. It always caused emotional damage. But at least it wasn't normalized and even glorified in the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 08:50 AM
-1

Unfortunately it's normal to slut around these days. And it causes emotional damage.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 08:35 AM
-2

So casual slut. Still wouldn't align with my values as I take sex seriously and don't di casual.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 07:30 AM
0

Yes, it does. Or you are a slut who just intended to use them for sex or money or something and leave them. Or slut who do casual sex. So either you had bad intentions from the start or it's a failure.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 07:17 AM
0

If you are whores who do casual sex or caught her cheating or use protection ok. If you in normal exclusive relationship it's accusing her of cheating for no reason and it's not acceptable. Accusation of cheating is only acceptable if there is a valid reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 07:12 AM
1

Now, ew. People don't change. I don't want to be settled for by a man whore.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 07:05 AM
0

Never. Better to start with nothing than a debt (emotional baggage and habits from failed relationships). You just haven't found the one and were lucky you didn't ger together with a wrong person. Failed relationships only bring you emotional damage, it's nothing positive.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 06:59 AM
1

It doesn't work that way, either you FEEL it or not. If you feel it you can reason how to make it work. If you don't feel it there is nothing unless you want a transactional relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 02:50 PM
1

You can't reason yourself into love. You either FEEL it or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 12:12 PM
1

It's ideal if he has both of course, the love of my life is hardworking and reluctant to take money from me because I just have more but I say it's OUR money. But gun to my head hypothetical I choose heart over reason. Without heart you don't have anything at all, it's just loveless prostituting yourself for benefits. Without reason at least you have love. I would rather be very poor in love than a billionaire in loveless marriage. Love is what makes life worth living.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 10:09 AM
5

Heart wants what heart wants. I don't choose love or judge who is worthy. I just follow my heart. Wealthy man might not be worthy to me because he is likely to spend lot of time at work and less time with me. If I love him all I want is his presence and spend as much time as possible with him. What would I do ALONE with the money if his presence is often missing...
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 09:57 AM
3

There are also men who date and even marry women they don't even like as a person for sex and having a maid. So there are egoistic people using other people in both genders for what they can provide and do for them. But with women it's mostly residual from patriachal past I think. At least men are judged by society for such behaviour. But women wanting a man for money is socialy acceptable.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 09:52 AM
3

Ideally we should be able to survive together with our income combined. So now that means he can have nothing and no income and we can do it on my single income as long as he doesn't have debts and doesn't spend excesively. I don't care about money, the only needs I need a man for are purely emotional. I'm fortunete I have enough money I don't have have to prostitute myself for the sake of provider. And I just don't have to be restricted by it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 05:28 AM
3

Technically you still want their presence but that's genuine, not trying to get something from them. And I get that you need to be able to survive together with your income combined. But if you both somehow survived till now you can figure it out and make it work. And still it's just wrong reason to date. Excuse it what you want but it's still basicaly protituting yourself for the sake of provider. In the past women had to do this because they mostly couldn't work to support themselves so I get …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/25 04:53 AM
4

Libido and attraction are separate things. I have high drive I can do it in double digits a day easily. Or not easily I need to. But I'm still celibate because I'm not attracted to most men. And I can't separate sex and love plus I'm totaly monogamous by nature, I have no desire for variety, I desire only the ONE and that's it. Other men could as well be women, zero desire, zero attraction. So for vast majority of men I have no desire to do it WITH THEM. I' just not attracted.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 06:39 PM
1

I love one man. And I'm only attracted to him, I'm not attracted to men as a group, only to the one. And if I couldn't find the one I fell in love with I don't want a relationship for the sake of it. I need to fall in love with one specific man. I'm not attracted to men as a group.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 05:31 PM
2

Yes, I don't normally agree with bad statements about women but I often see women argumenting that if they have a child they need a man to provide and that's why they care about money. Ok makes sense, but it's still loveless transaction. Honestly my only "standars" is love, spark/chemistry, emotional connection and raw attraction. And if we have love we can figure out and compromise on almost anything else. If he doesn't have money I can provide for him. Anything else I can provide for myself on…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/25 09:26 AM
3

Yes, if you have chemistry you can figure most of the things out to mutual satisfaction if you are not on totaly oposite sides. And often if you have chemistry you find out they are worth giving up your firm standards. Chemistry comes first and then you are able to figure it out and find mutually acceptable compromises.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 08:22 PM
3

Yes. Basicaly my only "standard" is chemistry or spark or whatever you call it. I want a relationship for love, emotional connection, raw attraction... And if we have that we can figure out and compromise on almost anything else. Sure there should be a line for really serious things for which there is no middle ground, like one is childfree and the other really desires a big family.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 08:09 PM
4

So I would assume it's probably issue of asexuality, not attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 03:35 PM
5

Me neither. But in my case it's demisexuality. I have never felt attraction separate from love. But if I love him I automaticaly also lust him. I just can't separate sex and love in either way. I can't imagine saying "he is sexy, I would fuck him, but he is not marriage material" and I also can't imagine saying "I love him, he is great, we have amazing emotional connection BUT I don't lust him". I don't know, for me it goes hand in hand, I never experienced either part separately. It's one unsep…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 03:25 PM
1

But it happened to both parents and both families. It's a mistake, accidents happen we don't like in a perfect world. But if you partner decides to betray you it's much worse. Furtunately I'm chilfree so this is purely hypothetical from me. But I would refuse to see the child even if my partner divorced me. I know I wouldn't be able to live and see constant reminder of his betrayal and his genes in the child. In such case I would be legaly forced to pay I know. But this is not an accident, it's …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 03:22 PM
3

If they switch at the hospital it's honest mistake, it's often better to keep the child you have emotional ties with. But in such case your partner betrayed you, the person you belived to be your soulmate lied to you, hurt you. And the child is reminder of that trauma. Some people are so deeply hurt be it that they relive the trauma and pain again and again every time they se the reminder in that child. The person that lied did that. If the child is hurt it's on the lying person hands.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 03:00 PM
2

So if you are attracted to them enough to cuddle and kiss then why not sex? If I'm not attracted I don't want any touch beyond purely platonic friendly hug, it's not only limited to sex. So if you love them and want to touch them, anything but sex it sounds like asexuality rather than attraction issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 02:53 PM
3

Withou attraction? I don't know about you but I'm repulsed by the idea of touching a man without attraction beyond friendly hug. Then it's not issue of attraction but being asexual as you describe it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 02:45 PM
2

So you are what? Just roommate friends that don't touch each other and only have totaly passionless mechanical sex around ovulation for the purpose of having children? It's not just sex, without love there is generally much less physical affection, hugging, cuddling, holding hands, kissing...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 02:31 PM
2

As a childfree woman this is hypothetical but I would be offended by request for paternity test because it means he doesn't trust me and thinks I'm a dirty slut. But if the woman is indeed a dirty slut and the child is not his he absolutely deserves right to cut any ties. And ideally he should even be paid back by the woman what he already spent on the child. Such women deserve punishment. Yes, child is a victim too but so is the man and he shouldn't be forced to relive his pain again and again …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 02:20 PM
3

Yes, I know it worked liked that in the past because women had no other choice but to prostitute themselves to a man good on paper they weren't attracted to for the sake of provider. Some people got lucky even then of course. What could motivate them today is money (so a golddiger) or desperation to not be alone or to have children and wanting to do it alone as a single mother.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 02:13 PM
5

Yes, people should only date and marry and sleep with people they are mutually genuinely attracted to. But we can't pretend you can fullfill your emotion needs yourself. No, friends and family don't help. Romantic relationship is totaly differnet level and there is nothing that can fully replace it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 12:57 PM
6

Ew, no. The only things I need from a relationship is love, emotional connection and raw attraction. And I can't separate sex from love. If I like him in every way but don't desire him physicaly it's friendship, not love. It's settling for a loveless relationship of convenience with a good friend. I can provide for myself so I don't need to prostitute myself to a good friend for the sake of provider as women in the past had to when they couldn't provide for themselves. It's basicaly a prostituti…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 09:58 AM
–

Good sex is made by FEELINGS, it has nothing ti do with technique. And you can't learn it anyway because every person is different so you start from zero with each person. If I simply don't desire you you can't make me finish with the best technique. But if I already desire you to begin with it's super easy.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 09:40 AM
6

Yes, women leave the apps because we are disgusted by men like you who don't even read our profiles and have absolutely no interest in us as human beings and only see us as a number with vagina. If men as a group stoped it we wouldn't be disgusted and we would use dating apps more. The situation would balance itself us. But the cause is on your side, you have to stop doing it first. You did this, don't blame us. I always read profiles and empty profile was basicaly guarenteed pass. I would never…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 04:53 PM
8

Well you are self sabotaging yourself and ruining it for everyone. If men as a group stoped doing this the situation would balance itself out to everyone's better satisfaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 04:37 PM
10

So you just keep lowering your chances even more and ruining the experience for everyone... But we want to be seen as human being you are actually intersted in, not as just a number with vagina.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 04:14 PM
19

But you are doing it to yourself be swiping on everyone without even reading the profile. The cause of the problem is on your side. We are overwhelmed by men who swipe on everyone and have no genuine interest in us as a person so we have no choice but to filter heavily.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 04:02 PM
24

So by swiping on everyone without even reading you are yourself creating the problem you complain about.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 03:49 PM
4

Ok if the form contains your promises. If you lie that you love her and want a relationship but in reality you only want a hook up she can't give informed consent, she consents only because she believes your lies. So only if the consent form includes under what belief she gives the consent. It's not valid informed consent if it's under false belief.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 09:44 AM
3

Exactly. It's about a personal match, not objectively the best. Everyone is different.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 07:48 AM
–

Well my only standard is the spark, raw attraction and emotional connection, if you can give me that we can compromise on everything else and figure it out together because love is enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 04:04 PM
1

Maybe their partner is genuinely enough for them and they don't need many people.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 04:01 PM
1

What list? You don't fall in love with a list. My only standard is to make me FEEL the spark and we can compromise on almost anything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 01:52 PM
1

The same because it has to be both in one. I'm not a slut I don't do casual. And I refuse loveless duty sex. So he has to make me feel raw attraction and emotional connection. It has to be both. If I don't want to hve sex with him I don't want to have sex with him ever. I don't make him wait for loveless duty sex, I just don't date him at all. I can't separate sex and love. I can only imagine having casual sex while madly in love in desperate hope it will make him love me and be with me. I wante…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 11:45 AM
1

Well one indeed was. Now with the love of my life I have opposite problem that he is reluctant to accept it as he doesn't want to "use" me for money. But I can't imagine any other way, we are one unit and it's OUR money. I won't count and play any games who owes who...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/02/25 09:24 AM
1

It's OUR money always. I gave him card to my account quite early in a relationship and then merge it more and more over time. And I earn more, so this is not being a golddiger.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 07:43 PM
2

If the attraction is mutual it will be fine. If not at least you know amd don't waste your time trying to win her over be pretending to be friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/02/25 07:26 AM
1

Have you read what I said about different dynamic? Imagine meeting a teacher out of school and them offering you to call them first name and just be friends. It's extremely hard to change that dynamic with them and treat them as friend instead of authority. Platonic and romantic is also different dynamic. It's possible to build romantic tension without being a bad toxic person and disrespecting her. In my case it was through emotional vulnerability but instead of just complaning like to a mother…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 08:40 PM
1

I'm just trying to help by explaining the best I can what is going on in MY head regarding this question. But I know some people fall in love with friends over time and it works that way for them. So if you feel it really strongly you can try and there is a chance she feels the same. But be ready to lose that friend because it gets awkward if the feelings are not mutual. I can't explain exactly WHY. But it's just completely different dynamic and it feels weird to be romantic with someone you wer…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 08:19 PM
2

I think that when we meet there is a window of time to create some romantic tension and if you fail to do it you get into purely platonic friend category, you become like a brother to me and people are not sexualy attracted to family. And then with a brother there is different dynamic in the relationship. It's impossible to create romantic passion from purely platonic family type of relationship. Maybe marriage of convenience. But I don't think it's possible to create passion for a "brother". It…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 07:52 PM
1

Yes, I guess in real life it's possible that you just don't notice it first because you are not looking for it so it comes later.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 12:14 PM
1

I would rather have attraction and negotiate on all other things because it's possible. But if you don't have attraction you have nothing at all. I never experienced attraction after some time. Every crush I had was basicaly on the first sight. I tried dating based on compatibility and I found ideal good guys but I just didn't FEEL anything. The guys were really good and I had very high hopes and anticipation that it will come when we see each other in person. But I didn't even want to hold thei…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 09:56 AM
1

"Let's try to make things a bit physical and see if we enjoy it" is exactly going mechanicaly through the moves without actually feeling it. If they are good on paper and you realy want to like them but just don't FEEL attraction you can't somehow create it. If I don't really FEEL it I don't want to touch him at all, I don't want to cuddle him, ew. You can't negotiate attraction. You can negotiate other things but not attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 09:33 AM
1

How? Lie to them? Just mechanicaly go through the moves without actually feeling it? First I have to feel the desire before I let him touch me. And I wouldn't say anything like that unless genuinely FEELING it. So that's a lie. And if you already experienced real raw attraction you can't go back to relationships of convenience.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/25 08:58 AM
1

The problem is you can't negotiate attraction. You can be best friends but if you simply feel no desire to touch them it doesn't work.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/02/25 09:36 PM
–

They are often not. Often golddigers just pretend to be. But it's what passport bros dream of. They want poor uneducated woman that will obey them and serve them and have sex with them. That's why they purposely choosing poor countries. If you travel and just happen to find love by chance and end up in genuine mutualy loving relationship you are not a passport bro. Passport bros have PURPOSE to find a poor woman they can exploit.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 04:38 PM
–

Their goal is to exploit a poor woman as a maid that will obey them and have sex if them. Or it ends up with a golddiger and they are exploiting each other as they deserve. Anyway it's the trash taking itself out. But I still loathe the desire to exploit someone. But those guys are purposely choosing uneducated and poor to fullfill their desire of obedient maid they can have sex with. Often they get played by those women being golddigers or just wanting green card and divorcing them. Of course i…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 04:00 PM
–

No. We loathe it because they want to exploit poor women. They go specifically for women in poor countries that are probably less educated and "traditional". "Traditional" for those guys means they want a maid they can have sex with and who obeys them. They just want to exploit those women. And often those women are not as stupid as the guys and just use them for green card and/or money as those guys deserve.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/02/25 02:41 PM
–

It's not accurate. But it's still harmfull to have people walking around who have ideology of manipulating people into relationships with them and lying and not being honest and using people for sex...
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/25 10:24 AM
–

To me it doesn't sound too much. But I'm childfree, I can imagine children ruin sex life. I don't have any physical problem with that. There is nothing better and more fun to do than express love anyway. I think 3 times a day is ideal, jt still leaves you time to have a nice dinner, go for a walk, see a movie or something on normal working days. Weekends are better. Morning, in the middle of day and at night and there is still plenty of time to do other activities and space for some bonus.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 04:07 PM
–

I know there are low libido people but I just don't uderstand as in my case if I love you I want you all the time. I just can't imagine I love you BUT don't desire you physicaly. It goes hand in hand. I never felt pure physical attraction without love. And I never felt romantic love without physical attraction. So in my mind I know ut exists but I don't get it on emotional level. But in such case you should break up, not cheat if you can't live with lack of sex. Break up in such case is fair and…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 03:46 PM
–

But maybe some people just have low libido no matter what and how much they love you. I can't imagine it but there are probably simply low libido people. No brainwash, just the way my feelings work. I have very high libido (I mean easily in double digits a day every day, really high) and yet I'm totaly asexual about people I'm not in love with. I can't separate sex and love and I'm super monogamous by nature. So if he had low libido I can't cheat because I love him and that takes all my heart an…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 03:11 PM
–

If you loved them you wouldn't desire to fuck other people. If you love someone you rather stay sexless with them because you simply don't desire other people. Well maybe you should first communicate about it and consider you are doing something that is turning them off. Maybe they just have low libido and there is no specific reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 02:17 PM
–

Yes unless there is some problem preventing sex. And first you should communicate about it. And then if they refuse to try to fix the situation and they are not interested you are free to go to other people. But why keep the relationship in such case. Just break up.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 02:11 PM
0

You can't learn relationships. You always start from zero with each person. Each person is different. If she genuinely likes you she is like the teenage girl overthinking every message at any age.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 01:11 PM
1

If he is really not attractive to me no outfit can change it. But it can improve or ruin it. I see a lot of young guys wearing sweatpants in the city, not for sport. And no matter how good looking they are it's totaly ruined with that outfit. So I think it's more about not ruining your appearance and a little plus point but it won't turn you attractive from non attractive. And style is also was to express personality. I enjoy looking nice and it's important to me to always look somewhat presenta…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 07:35 AM
2

I generaly agree. If you have to chase and work hard and be super careful to not lose their attention you already lost because they are simply not genuinely attracted. But be careful how you define chase. There is a difference between simply being active and chasing someone clearly not interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 12:08 AM
8

Ew, never. I like only younger guys. Women who prefer older are just golddigers or maybe have some issues and want to replace dad. Male looks also fade with age.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 12:11 PM
7

Better than being sex slave to a man you are not attracted because you need a provider.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 09:13 AM
1

I don't care about male accomplishments either. I care about his soul and personality and looks. And if he accomplish something I'm hapy because he is happy and I share it with him. But I love HIM no matter what and he doesn't have to work and I'm willing to take care of him. I love HIM, not what he can provide. Provision is replacable and I can do it on my own. HE, his heart, his soul is not. And that's genuine love. Money and status is basicaly prostitution. The only difference between a goldd…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 10:22 PM
1

I don't want to have sex with money. If you can't make me desire YOU I don't care, I'm not for sale. It's totaly worthless if you need accomplishments to attract people, they don't desire YOU and you will never experience raw attraction and hot passion. Men definitely should care about their looks because now women can earn our own money are not forced to prostitute themselves for a provider. I have never been attracted to money or "status", only HIM. But I often disagree with women here about g…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 10:17 PM
1

You still have the facial structure. Of course you need to love each other's soul.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 09:38 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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