TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

OilJust4498 Archive

View 0 posts and 142 comments by OilJust4498 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
–

>It's not misogynist >criticise a woman
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 02:28 AM
–

I do both, IRL is important but there's no reason you can't supplement your IRL work with OLD.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 02:27 AM
–

The most important thing to remember is patience. I am a 37 a year old virgin whose been trying to get a date for the past 20 years now and in just the past 5 years I've made tremendous progress on this. Through my self improving and now working OLD apps I've made serious strides towards getting a gf and it seems I may soon be seeing the fruits of my labor. In just the past couple years I've had two women agree to go out with me via OLD (though these ultimately fell through). So, yes, it may be …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 01:40 AM
–

I understand why some might be averse but my point is that, like anything good in life, it takes hard work and dedication. To be honest I'm not the most attractive man and I was able to get a yes in only 3 years, if you're an average guy, and you're willing to work it you could easily get a yes within a year (maybe a little longer if you swipe left some). When I finally get a date it's going to feel good after all my hard work pays off.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/24 12:39 AM
–

>I'm sorry this has been your experience. You misunderstand, I don't mean this as a negative. What I am trying to say is that you have to work it. If I had just given up after a few weeks I would be at 0 matches 0 conversations, as it is now I've had two women agree to go out with me and I'm pretty darn close to my first date. So It just takes time and patience.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 11:46 PM
–

Honestly from my experience the best way to get results from the apps is patience and hard work. I started using OLD 5 years ago and, via swiping right 100 times a day, I've managed to get a few dozen matches and even got 2 women to agree to go out with me back in 2022 (though both backed out unfortunately), this is success I wouldn't have had if I wasn't willing to work at it. Had I given up after the first few weeks I would have had 0 matches and 0 conversations. If I stay with it a few years …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 11:25 PM
–

>No it isn't misogynistic. It comes from the idea a woman is less valuable for being sexually promiscuous, I would see such a notion as steeped in misogyny as it values a women's worth around her sexual history.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 11:22 PM
–

>I reject men who are teachers, is that misandry? No you the two are unrelated.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 09:33 PM
–

I would be with a stripper, honestly I think denying a women simply because of her profession is stepped in misogynist. What she does for a living has nothing to do with what she'd be like as a girlfriend and as long as shes willing to date me I'd be willing to date her.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 08:10 PM
–

While I wouldn't be happy about it if a woman wanted me to sacrifice my friends, interests, hobbies, their individuality for a relationship I would. Beggars can't be choosers after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 07:46 PM
–

What I meant was I know you didn't mean to be misogynistic when you asked the question (since your flair says woman) however it is misogynistic to view one type of woman as more desirable than another, both are good and valid.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 07:44 PM
–

No offense but this wanting women to be a certain way seems like misogyny, a woman can be or act however she wants and still be 'valued' and 'feminine' to borrow your terms.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 05:50 PM
–

>"Dating Classes" in school I think I've heard of this before
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 03:06 PM
–

No offense but it sounds like you're spending too much time on social media. I've never heard of any of the stuff you've mentioned in your post and I'm not even sure what a Bachelor Joker is. Perhaps the types of people who've heard of this stuff (which I'm guessing are young or chronically online) are more likely to give you a vitriolic reaction than the average man.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 01:28 AM
–

>Before I (19, male) >19 Opinion disregarded.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/24 12:22 AM
–

I would be happy with either though I guess I'd prefer the former since I wouldn't like it if on the off chance the later ended up cheating on with the men she liked (I don't like cheating in relationships). If she did I would not be happy and would let her know she hurt me and ask her to stop cheating. But again as a 37 year old virgin whose never been in a relationship I would be happy with either, either one would be a step above the none I have now.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 11:52 PM
1

That's fine, you're welcome to have your own preferences, I was just saying from me personally I would never turn down any woman willing to go on a date with me simply because- as a beggar, I'm in no position to be a chooser and if she can overlook my flaws I would be more than happy to overlook any of hers and give her the same chance shes giving me.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 09:26 PM
2

I've been single with friends for 37 years, now I would like try having a girlfriend. The idea of me turning a woman down because they have a limp, or a mole, or don't meet some height/weight measurement I prefer just seems somewhat misogynistic to me, like your only valuing a woman's appearance. As long as she is willing to date me I would happily date her, beggars can't be choosers after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 08:14 PM
1

No, I am looking for a girlfriend. However I recognize beggars can't be choosers. While a man is welcome to turn down anybody for any arbitrary reasons he'd like he doesn't have the right to complain when he finds yourself single.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 07:42 PM
1

My goal is to get a girlfriend, as such things like 'Physical Attraction' are completely irrelevant. If you're willing to be with me that's good enough for me. Besides what they look like has nothing to do with what they're like as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 07:28 PM
0

>Do you have a type? If yes, what is it? I do not. Appearance is just superficial. It says nothing about what the person is like underneath. Speaking as a 37 never old whose never been on a date before I would be willing to be anyone who would be willing to be with me. The fact they're willing to date me would make a woman attractive, not any of that superficial appearance nonsense.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 07:08 PM
1

I agree with you cheating is bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 06:57 PM
1

>No, a lack of sex isn't an excuse for cheating. Nothing is an excuse for cheating really, I agree one should never cheat, if my partner ever cheat I would definitely be hurt and would be telling her as much/asking her not to do it again.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 06:48 PM
1

>Cheaters suck. You communicate with your partner. I agree if my partner cheated on me I would be upset, I would tell her as much and you can believe I would be working very hard to convince her not to do it again.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 06:44 PM
1

>I encourage men to cheat instead of communicating about sex and putting undue pressure on their wives. So don't accuse me of that. I disagree I think cheating is horrible and I would never do it, if my partner cheated on me (this is hypothetical I've never been in a relationship) I would be upset and would tell her as much as tell her I would like for her not to do it again. If she kept cheating on me I would be very hurt and would work to convince her not to.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 06:42 PM
5

Thank you for the positivity, we need more of that on this sub. The good thing is the feeling of success when I finally get a girlfriend after 20 years of hard work will be something
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 05:22 PM
1

Well I guess it's sort of subjective, I'm just speaking from my own POV, having been in the search for a date for a little over 20 years from the outside once I finally get into a relationship I would try to rectify it before just quitting outright. While I wouldn't stick around if it was some serious life threatening stuff (because no relationship is worth your life) if I'm unable to fix the relationship I would at least get the social proofs from being in a relationship (being able to clear th…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 05:19 PM
5

I wouldn't say a success story per say but it's definitely more than I had prior and a step in the right direction.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 05:16 PM
5

One thing I do find strange about American politics is the 'electoral college'. No ones ever been able to properly explain it to me but from my understanding basically when your vote it's really just more of a suggestion but this shadowy force called the electoral college makes the final decision. I don't know they have to make Democracy so complex some times.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 04:42 PM
-2

For me personally, as a 37 year old virgin whose never been in a relationship, I couldn't fathom ever voluntarily ending a relationship for anything short of suffering life threatening levels of abuse (no girlfriend is worth your life), I mean after 20 years of trying to get into a relationship I wouldn't want to finally end the first one I got into without trying to make it better. But everyone is different and depending on your personal situation and what you want out of life, than of course y…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 04:29 PM
1

I agree with you about the advantages of only fans, through OF one can have contact with tons of women in a provocative setting, which helps with getting the experience and confidence needed to do the same IRL without having to visit a prostitute, the later of which might actually hurt a man's quest to get a date since some women would view seeing a prostitute as a red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 04:21 PM
6

>A person that doesn’t believe of self improvement cant comprehend people who actually want to find themselves. Self improvement is very important but I think it's only half the battle. You should be constantly working to improve yourself whilst also lowering your standards. It would be foolish for me to pass up a woman who would be willing to date me simply because she didn't meet some arbitrary checklist. So I say improve yourself, gym, career, social skills and the like while also lowering yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 04:15 PM
8

As an Eastern European I find the intensity of American's political views very interesting. In this part of the world, where half of the countries are listed as by the UN as 'flawed democracies', it's like "Election? Who cares they're all corrupt anyways". As a 37 year old virgin if I finally got with a woman and she happened to be very passionate about her party I'd probably just switch my vote for her. I mean really who cares, they're just different shades of corrupt here.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 04:11 PM
7

Do not let this perturb you, if anything it should give you hope. I admit I'm on the lesser attractive side and I've managed to get like 15 conversations (as in she responded more than once) since I started in 2019. That's one every 4 months, and 2 yes's. You're young and if you're a decent enough guy, and just swipe right you could easily get a woman to agree to a date within the first year or two, a bit longer if you swipe left on some women. The thing to remember is just to do your swipes eac…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 02:34 AM
7

lol I'm saying the opposite, I'm saying I'm really close right now to a date, if I fail for another 13 years, and the tech rapidly advanced, than maybe I'd consider an alternative. Until then it's human or nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 12:33 AM
11

As I said I've made significant progress towards getting a date over the past five years and I feel like I'm really within striking range. I starting using OLD 5 years ago and, via swiping right 100 times a day, I've managed to get a few dozen matches and even got 2 women to agree to go out with me back in 2022 (though both backed out unfortunately) I wouldn't want to give up before 40 (I'm 37 now) or probably not even before 50. If I got to 50 still without a GF than I might consider alternativ…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 12:26 AM
23

I don't know how effective they are or will be. For me personally I am a 37 year old virgin, I would like, and will keep trying, to get a date with a real woman, and I've made real progress in recent years towards getting a date, so I do think I'll have a real breakthrough within the next few years. But if I don't by the time I'm 50, and the technology has progressed enough then sure, I'd definitely check it out.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/24 12:03 AM
1

A lot of women might be intimidated if you approach them in a 1 on 1 setting which is important for men, such as myself to remember. In the past when cold approaching women I always try to do my best to make myself as non threatening as possible to lower any potential fear she has to increase the likelihood of a positive response (offer a weak handshake, be in a crowded place, that sort of stuff). I've yet to succeed in getting a date cold approaching but I've been rejected nicer this way than b…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 11:45 PM
3

>I would be creeped out if a guy approached me on my own This is important for men, such as myself to remember. In the past when cold approaching women I always try to do my best to make myself as non threatening as possible to lower any potential fear she has to increase the likelihood of a positive response (offer a weak handshake, be in a crowded place, that sort of stuff). I've yet to succeed in getting a date cold approaching but I've been rejected nicer this way than before I took this stu…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 11:43 PM
0

>Someone who does nice things for people without expecting anything in return except respect. I disagree you shouldn't do nice things for people and expect respect in return. You should just do nice things with or without respect being given,
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 10:38 PM
4

>Good guy = a guy who isn't trying to game, lie, or rizz his way into my pants. This is very important. It's necessary to tell the truth, even when it's inconvenient. I believe, even when it hurts you, you should be completely honesty because if you lie and that lie is revealed it will do more harm than good. For example I am a 37 year old virgin and I'd never shy away from admitting it to anyone, because if I lie and the lie is revealed I've deceived somebody into a relationship and that's bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 10:34 PM
5

It seems I'm becoming known in the community, perhaps a bit polarizing. The black pill people like me for being a 5'3 37 year old virgin, the blue pill people like me for refusing to quit despite the little success I've had. And at the same time the black people pill dislike me for refusing to quit and the blue pill people think I'm bad for my lack of success. Nobody really knows what to make of me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 10:04 PM
7

>You meet the perfect woman You can stop right there. I would take almost any women. The perfect woman? Thank who cares about her ex, that shit is in the past, Hell it could be in the present and while I wouldn't like it I'd probably tolerate it, especially if she was the perfect.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 10:02 PM
10

>Do you get that a lot? Only here
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 10:46 AM
3

>So whats stopping you dedicating a quarter of your week trying to date? should I be embarrassed to tell you I already do? It depends on how you count self improvement time (daily exercise for example) as trying to get a date. If you count self improve time than it's probably 50% of my non working non asleep hours. >Something seems off, but also feels like you haven’t been trying hard enough. I do wonder if seem the advent on my use of Online dating 5 years ago I've taken my foot off the Gas rec…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 04:26 AM
1

Hard to say for certain but I'm working on it. I did go on a date 11 years ago but that was more of a friend thing with someone I knew than a proper 'date-date'. Like I said in my previous post though I think it's going to turn around for me in the next few years, I already got 2 women to agree to go out with me in 2022 via tinder (though they backed out beforehand) so you can see progress is definitely being made.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 02:59 AM
11

If I had the answers I wouldn't have been trying for over 20 years. I think it's going to happen soon though, I've been using OLD for 5 years now and, by swiping right a hundred times a day, I've managed to get a few dozen matches and even got a couple women to agree to go on a date with me 2 years ago (though both backed out) I think if I keep working it for a few more years I shall land a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 01:37 AM
10

I suppose that's true if you divorce, though in a relationship you have the advantage of pulling together 2 peoples incomes at once, which should help.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 01:14 AM
14

I try to exercise regularly that should hopefully help with my long term health.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 01:01 AM
25

I am a 5'3 guy, I don't know about being THE 5'3" guy
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 12:59 AM
61

I am a 37 year old virgin whose been trying to get a date for over 20 years now. If sex was a need I would have died ages ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/24 12:18 AM
1

The first option seems the most appealing. I already knew my parents but only grew to 161 cm (5'3) in the first scenario I can keep my parents and add 5 inches.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/24 04:42 PM
2

>Don't let a woman be fat Relevant: https://tenor.com/view/what-can-skinny-women-do-gif-19510615
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/24 04:39 PM
2

With online dating it's important to remember to put the work in for success. I got tinder 5 years ago and, through swiping right 100 times a day I managed to get a few dozen matches and even got 2 women to agree to go out with me, those these dates ultimately never happened. The point is I would not have been able to have this level of success being willing to put in the work. It's not hard you just have to remember to do your swipes every day and update your photo every few years.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/24 04:30 PM
1

I don't know I think I may have success here in the Baltics soon. I recently started using Online Dating about 5 years ago and with a grand strategy of swiping right 100 times I day I've managed to get a few dozen matches and even got two women to agree to go out with me a couple years ago (though these dates never materialized) so I think if I keep with it I may have some success within the next few years. >You will also be seen as taller probably Me, who is 161 cm (5'3"): "eh, I don't know abo…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/24 04:24 PM
2

"Give me 1,000 dollars"- t. Furio Giunta "....1,000 more?"- Plato
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/24 04:08 PM
1

I'm for eastern europe, we're about 20 years behind the curve on everything
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/24 07:17 AM
5

Keep in mind I am a 37 year old virgin so I guess my perception on what is acceptable may be warped a bit. Of course I am just speaking for myself when I say I would date any woman willing to date me, so long as she is not currently in a relation (I don't like cheating), you're situation may enable you to be a bit stricter. While I personally would I don't think anybody should be forced to date someone they don't like physically or otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/24 07:07 AM
5

Respectfully I disagree, I guess maybe you could extrapolate if someone is very overweight they don't work out or take car of themselves but beyond that appearances are just superficial. For example good people can be really tall or really short, they can be so skinny or fat, black or white. Same is true for bad people. I am a 37 year old virgin, if I was to start turning people away because of how they looked the few opportunities I have with women would quickly diminish. But again, I'm just sp…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/24 07:03 AM
1

While I'd never turn down anyone for their appearances alone I do agree with you that in extreme being overweight could be a turn off (like if you're 400+ pounds) but I think a few curves in the right places are really attractive. I see the way some of these models makes themselves so skinny and it's like, "What can she not afford food?" So there can also be extreme in the opposite direction of being so skinny it's unappealing.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/24 06:49 AM
6

Well I guess it's a matter of how you look at it. I've never had a girlfriend before so somebody being willing to go out with me would certainly be intriguing, like who is she, I want to know more about her, that kind of stuff. Things like height, weight, pretty/ugly, who cares about that nonsense. It's all superficial, it says nothing about how she is underneath. I try not to judge the book by its cover
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/24 06:46 AM
4

Well I guess everyones different about that/has a different situation. As I said at the top of my post I'm only speaking for myself. I will say though while you're welcome to turn down whoever you want if you're turning away good women for some dumb superficial reasons like how she looks (which has nothing to do with what shes like) than you have no right to complain when you find yourself single.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/24 06:43 AM
10

From browsing this subreddit I have gotten the opinion that a lot of people think men don't like larger women. Speaking for myself personally I quite like larger women. To quote the famed philosopher, t. Furio Giunta: "I like a woman you can grab onto something". Though really all that stuff like skinny vs fat, tall vs short, pretty vs ugly, is just superficial. It says nothing about what the person is like underneath. I would be willing to be anyone who would be willing to be with me. The fact …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/24 05:30 AM
3

lol I feel called out.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/24 05:25 AM
6

>How tall are you? 161 cm (5'3") >How much can you bench? No idea, I mostly just do free weights (arm curl type stuff) >How much money do you make? In American dollars like 60,000 I think (€55,000 in my own country), I'm from the Baltics so a buck can take you a lot further here (things are cheaper)
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 06:00 PM
0

>Why the fuck are you not seeking women who have passions and hobbies? Speaking as a 37 year old whose never been in a relationship I think one must cast a wide net if they want to catch anything and from my vantage point what someone does or doesn't do in their free time isn't really something I can afford to be picky on.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 05:20 PM
2

>•he drove a cargo van lol in my country (I'm from the Baltics) he'd been pretty normal. I swear everybody drives those stupid sprinter vans.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 05:12 PM
12

>most people date when they’re young dumb and reckless. Me, a 37 year old whose never been on a date: "Now they tell me".
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 05:09 PM
1

>As a woman, a man living his life solely to be attractive to women in unattractive lol. lol why do I feel called out
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 04:39 PM
4

Just friendship in general. It may be different for women (I wouldn't know I'm not a woman). >I am 21 so I haven’t experienced this to that extent yet. I don't mean to sound doom and gloom, if you and your friends are willing to put in the work you can definitely find time to hang out together, it just takes a bit more planning (and patience) than when you are in school. For me at least I generally have to call a few days ahead of time to confer on schedules before planning anything with anymore…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 03:21 AM
6

Friends are nice, the only trouble is maintaining friendships when you get to be over 30 (I'm 37) is difficult as everyone's free time becomes more scarce, it's hard to find time to get together and getting together with more than one friend at once? It's basically a pipe dream.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 03:14 AM
3

If it works for you and your spouse that's good, I was just speaking for myself personally. I've never been in a relationship before so I'm kind of speaking in hypotheticals but for me personally I would like both to be working, but of course if she wanted to not work or needed to be a stay at home mom than I would do that as well, it would just depend on what she wanted.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/24 08:47 PM
9

>With wider social circle you get more opportunities to be flirty as well. That's true you have to cast a wide net if you want to catch anything. More people in your circle I think means more opportunities
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/24 05:02 PM
1

>Men say they can still love their wives and cheat. Big nope. Speaking personally, as a 37 year old virgin whose never been in a relationship, I would never cheat and while I wouldn't be happy with my hypothetical partner for cheating on me I would still be willing to be with her. After all if she's willing to be in a relationship with me (which has yet to happen) than she's got to be worth fighting for right? Instead of just tossing her aside like a piece of trash I would try to work through he…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/24 04:22 PM
2

As a 37 year old virgin I would be very happy to get into a relationship, single mom or not. The fact she's willing to be with me makes her instantly attractive to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/24 04:14 PM
25

If she wanted me to than I would, but ideally I think both people should be working equally, that way they can have more money, which should make life easier for both of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/24 12:17 AM
1

Yes, I'm always willing to hear more, since your tag indicates you are a woman I would find your perspective very useful too since it would allow me to hear from the 'other side' and get a viewpoint I dont always get (if that makes sense)
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 10:56 PM
1

>If I may, what happened to these dates that caused them to fall off? It's hard to say for certain, one didn't show and one broke it off citing prior engagements before ghosting me. Whatever the real reason is impossible to say with any certainty, so I don't dwell on it. After all this was a lot of attention in such a short time (2 just in 1 single calendar year) so it was really more of an excitement than a let down. In fact I'm sort of still riding the wave now, thinking that greater fortune m…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 10:24 PM
2

Thank you for the kind words. The good news is most women are good people so if I ever get into a relationship it's probably going to be a good one.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 08:02 PM
1

>Have you ever been on a date? I went on kind of date 11 years ago in 2013, though it was more a friend thing, than a proper "date-date" > And if no, what's been the reason? Have you tried and had no luck, or do you mostly avoid it altogether? Yes, I have been on the grind trying to get a gf for a little over 20 years now. I've had a bit of recent success actually in that about five years I started using on line dating, and that has really opened things up for me. I swipe right 100 times a day a…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 07:50 PM
1

>Again, how?? A relationship where a partner isn't treating you with dignity or respect is gonna be one where it would be difficult to find intimate moments worth learning from. difficult, but not impossible. She might not be willing to accept my romantic advances too often (and I certainly wouldn't want to overdue it) but on the off occasion she is willing than I would learn from that. Besides just sex there would be other things I can practice like bringing her flowers or rubbing her feet, or …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 07:11 PM
1

>You've never been in a relationship, so your perspective is a bit flawed. You are right about this, it's possible that once I get into a relationship I'd quickly find out it's not good for me and bail. It's hard to know without actually going on a date. >How? Conversing with her? If she really teats you with no dignity or respect, do you think she'd tell you why? I'd hope so, she did enter into a relationship with me so perhaps she would be willing to tell me the areas I can improve upon to get…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 07:04 PM
1

What I mean is I can learn about stuff I don't know about that is important to maintaining a relationship, both how to do things intimately and just how to do things in general in a romantic relationship. My assumption is, since we are in a relationship, we would have intimate and romantic moments. Even if, for example she's not treating me with respect and is cheating on me that does not necessarily mean she wouldn't be intimate with me from time to time nor would it mean she wouldn't do other …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 06:07 PM
1

That is an interesting perspective. For me personally I think that as long as we're not getting into dangerous life and death territory (no gf is worth your life) or she's not breaking my bones or causing other serious bodily harm I suppose it would be fine, especially if I'm able to make some progress in reducing her disrespectfulness and abuse. If I'm not or if she starts to escalate things than yeah I would definitely have to put things on pause and consider if the relationship is really wort…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 05:42 PM
2

You bring up a very good point, some of the stuff I learn could be the wrong stuff. I guess I would just be taking a chance then that, despite learning bad stuff, perhaps I would pick up some useful pointers I could apply to future relationships (assuming I have to give up this one), and it's possible I guess that a 'good partner' might be willing to overlook some of this stuff. Though I thank you for this new perspective, I didn't stop to consider not all learning is good learning, some is the …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 05:35 PM
1

I understand now though I think this is an area I'll have to disagree with you on. I would like to be in a relationship and have never been in one, as such if I can, to borrow your expression, 'make the dog less likely to bite me' that would be excellent, and I would be very happy in such a relationship, I don't see why it should have to be less fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 05:04 PM
1

I am sorry English is not my native language can you expand on what you mean so I can understand.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 04:54 PM
1

Thank you for your kind words, though I guess this is an issue where we have to agree to disagree. Personally speaking seeking things like 'respect' and 'dignity' seem to be a bit too high standards for me (at least for my situation), though I understand why others might value them and consider not getting them deal breakers. I'd never been in a relationship before so I really can't 100% say for certain if such a situation would be a bad deal or not though I would certainly like to try it out. B…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 04:46 PM
1

what I mean by this is I will get some experience with handling certain aspects of relationships I've never had before. I would learn how to do things that I don't have any experience doing now both in terms of physical intimacy stuff and just general romantic things. I don't know if I worded that right (English is not my first language) but you get the idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 04:07 PM
2

>No relationship is worth a lack of respect and dignity, I promise you. I don't necessarily agree with this, I mean as long as she's not committing acts of life threatening abuse I don't see any reason not to try and fix the relationship. It's possible that I could be able to figure out why shy does not respect me or value my dignity and than I can work on fixing those reasons. Besides if it doesn't work out than the longer I'm in the relationship before it ends the more experience I can get tow…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 04:03 PM
0

I guess it's kind of subjective. For me personally I'm 37 and haven't been in a relationship before so it would seem kind of a rash decision to throw away the first one I get over something like a 'lack of respect'. I mean if a lack of respect doesn't involve extreme life threatening physical abuse than I see no reason not to try and work on it. Besides even if things don't work out I will get valuable relationship experience which I can apply to other relationships and will clear the virgin red…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 03:57 PM
0

>If you aren't getting respect, empathy, or dignity from your partner, don’t offer that in the relationship. Build a relationship around other aspects like having fun. Despite what a lot of the other commenters are saying I actually agree with this. I'm 37 and have never been in a relationship before so I wouldn't want to leave and jeopardize the first one I've been in over things like a lack of respect and dignity. Instead of fun though I would work on finding ways to fix the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 03:47 PM
2

Relevant: https://tenor.com/view/what-can-skinny-women-do-gif-19510615 As a 37 year old virgin I would just be happy to get a date. Besides all that superficial stuff: height, weight, appearance etc, is just that- superficial, doesn't say anything about what shes like on the inside, personally speaking if I really had to choice I like a woman with a little extra meet on the bone.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 03:42 PM
1

I am sorry this is happening to you. For me personally I recognize beggars can't be choosers and, even if I didn't approve of your lifestyle or something you were doing to me I wouldn't ask you to change because, as I previously stated, beggars can't be choosers and if you knew what you were doing when you entered the relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 08:34 PM
1

>Have you tried any surgery yet I am 161 cm (5'3") so I've considered height surgery before but it doesn't seem safe and effective. >If you havent piqued a womans interest enough to date you in over 20 years its brutally over I don't know about this, I starting using on line dating about five years ago and by swiping right a hundred times a day every day I was able to get a few dozen matches, a few conversations, and I was even able to get a couple women to agree to go out with me 2 years ago (t…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 08:29 PM
5

I would be horrified, nobody should ever strike a woman so seeing a video of one I love being harmed would be deeply shocking and upsetting. I would try to comfort her as best I could and make sure she's OK.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 07:05 AM
1

>But if there's an added element like >He's approaching everyone lol I feel attacked on this one.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 12:50 AM
2

>or East Europe I am from the Baltics...
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 12:39 AM
2

>Average lifetime count is 4-7 Me, a 37 year old virgin, "uh.... well this is awkward".
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 06:00 PM
12

Sorry English is not my native language, I mean the fact she is approaching first means shes willing to out with me, which is huge. I've managed to get 2 women to agree to go out with me before (actually only a couple years ago) but these fell through due to logistical reasons so another one would always be big. Despite my lack of success I do think it will happen within the next five years or so, I just have to keep working at it, and if she approached me first that would be big.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 04:50 PM
21

I would view that as good. I'm 37 and have been (unsuccessfully) making the first move for over 20 years now, it would be nice to have someone else do it for once, not to mention it would mean shes willing to go out with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 04:28 PM
3

For me personally, as a 37 year old virgin, things like 'attractiveness' really don't matter much. I'm in no position to be picky (beggars can't be choosers) so I cast a wide net.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 04:06 PM
1

that it what I do, one must cast a wide net if you want to catch something
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 04:03 PM
5

>Do you think that maybe a tot different attitude, and chang what you are doing might make some difference? I think yes, despite the lack of success thus far I do think that by changing my approach and tackling the problem from different angles I'm on the right track. For example about five years ago I started using online dating and, after swiping right 100 times a day for a few years, I was able to get a few dozen matches and a couple years ago I even got 2 women to agree to go on a date with …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 06:04 AM
0

very true, I am 37 and I am just as dumb as when I was 17
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 04:08 AM
19

>If it doesn't work you can always try something else. This is very true. I am 37 and while I've yet to get into a relationship I've been asking women out for a little over 20 years now I can't imagine still using the same tactics and adhering to the same advice I'd received in 2003. You have to try out different strategies, test them like a scientist to see how effective they are, and if they don't yield any results drop them and move onto something else. Not to mention as you get older you go …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 04:06 AM
7

>When I was 20, just barely before I lost my virginity, I had a dreadful sense that I was behind in life 37 year old virgin here, while I don't think it's over for me just yet I definitely get that, 'I'm behind' thinking as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 12:32 AM
3

>Cold approach sucks. I agree, I'm 37 and have been both cold and approaching for about 20 years now, I can say from my firsthand experience that while I've never gotten a date either way (well I did get a 'friend-date' thing once about 11 years ago from warm approaching) I can say that people were far less receptive to cold approaching than to warm approaching
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 09:51 PM
3

I guess so, theres not really much I can do about it though, just have to keep trying. I don't know why but I do have a feeling things migth turn around for me soon (within the next couple years)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 09:31 PM
10

>A man being an adult virgin is a warning sign that there's something wrong with you. Something wrong with you means that you're weak in some regard(s). Women are not attracted to weak men. That is unfortunate, I am a 37 year old virgin and while I knew women probably didn't view it favorably I was surprised after I started viewing this sub to see just how universally unfavorable it is viewed. Theres not really much I can do with this information it's just surprising to know.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 09:11 PM
11

I am a 37 year old virgin, I don't really see a reason to lie about it though most even if women don't find it attractive they don't seem to think you're immoral for it and it doesn't seem right to start a relationship on a lie (especially if they figure out the lie later)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 08:31 PM
1

>Why not seek someone with more education and intelligence as your partner I've never had a partner >Why not seek partners who earns more than you? I do, just as a seek women who earn less. I don't understand the opposition some people have to more money, it probably makes life easier? >Why not seek taller, more ambitious, more accomplished, etc? I do, just as I seek women who aren't taller, are less ambitious, and are less accomplished. I find the first bit (taller) kind of funny though, I'm 16…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 07:00 PM
7

>The mode is 0 for sure lol, as a 37 year old virgin I'm happy to see my people are fairly represented
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 05:54 PM
18

>N-count: >Male|8.826612903 🧢
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 05:19 PM
–

>that majority of men are dating, in education, engaging in sex, marrying, working, moving out. It’s only a small percentage of men that aren’t. That’s the main reason why people fail to sympathize with incels simply because most haven’t gone through that harsh reality Me, a 37 year old virgin: "I am the 1%"
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:40 PM
1

>"Safe" is relative I mena I see a lot of people on crutches when I look into it online and I wouldn't want that, but I do think it would be nice to have some extra centimeters, if nothing else than to reach higher places, combine these with shoe lifts and you know maybe I could really get up there.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:37 PM
3

Yes, I do meet my standards of simply existing and being of age.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 04:25 PM
3

Perhaps, I'm 161 cm (5'3") so if some sort of surgery ever existed for this (and was safe and effective) I would do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 06:03 AM
4

I agree, she can be however she wants to be, so long as she is just there.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 08:40 PM
2

>4 foot 11 guy I'm 161 cm, I get this 100%
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/24 08:36 PM
1

I am 161 cm (5'3") it is a bit disconcerting to see what some people are labeling as the cutoff for short
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 08:41 PM
8

I am 161 cm (like 5'3" in American units), if I wasn't willing to date women taller than me I wouldn't be willing to date any
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 08:38 PM
2

>Cons: The pain, rage, and shame men feel for not meeting women's standards remains the same. I don't necessarily think you are right about this for option one, I am 37 years old and I have been asking women out for about twenty years now without success (that's longer than some people here have been alive) and I can tell you personally I don't really feel "pain" or "rage" and especially not shame from it (if I wasn't ashamed I wouldn't freely admit to being a virgin). To be honest I don't reall…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 08:15 PM
7

>These options don't exist for guys like me, so being too picky isn't a relevant factor. Absolutely agree got to cast as wide as a net as we can and hope something bites.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/24 07:41 AM
2

I don't know, I'm 37 and never been in a relationship so I just think it would be nice to be an option, safe or otherwise
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 10:41 PM
1

I have been using the apps for probably five or so years now and, with an amazing and brilliant strategy of swiping right 100 times a day, I've managed to get probably a few dozen matches over though the actual number of those who responded is significantly lower, still I actually managed to get two women to agree to meet for a date a couple years ago though the dates unfortunately never materialized. So I suppose for matches would be good as it would give me more opportunities. Not to mention m…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 09:35 PM
2

I understand the point you are making however it would seem like, since we are unable to control what others do, matching with more women is the best step for a man to take. I mean if, say 1 in 80 women would ever match with you, than it would smart to swipe right on at least eighty woman so you're statically likely to get one. Personally I think, given the many difficulties with online dating, it shouldn't be the only thing men try but rather one of several things they try. I try dating women i…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 06:16 PM
3

Not in Europe where the ratio apparently is nearly 50/50. I'm European, so I speak from that perspective. what part of Europe are you from? I'm from the shitty part (one of the former SSR countries) and I can tell you firsthand that the apps swing heavily male in their total userbase, which is why I think it shouldn't be the only tool men use to approach women but rather another option outside of irl.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 04:36 PM
3

but I think it is made far worse by so many men swiping right on everyone If men were more selective, they'd likely experience less rejection on the apps If a man is having trouble using a dating website or app shouldn't he be more inclusive on who he tries to match with? Not swiping right is leaving a potential match on the table and if he's struggle with the app can he really afford to do that? Besides it's not like anyone will know rather or not he swiped right on everyone or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 04:34 PM
1

I would be happy if my partner earned more than me, whose going to complain about more money coming in? That has to make our live easier
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 06:52 AM
1

yes I agree, that's why I said 'lol' in my original answer, though I guess that particular question wasn't really applicable to me. It's also why my answers a bit vague, having not been in a relationship before I'm not 100% sure what to expect from a woman romantically so I figure I would be best served to leave that up to her and not risk saying or expecting something untactful After all, my goal with dating the past couple decades (I'm 37) has just been to get into the relationship, not so muc…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 06:00 AM
1

no, though not for lack of trying.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 05:11 AM
2

How would you like to be romanced? What big or little gestures would you view as romantic towards you? However she would want is fine, what's important is the fact she went out of her way to do something special, the thought put into however she decided to be romantic is the most important thing Has any woman ever been romantic towards you? lol, no Do you only view grand gestures as romance or could little gestures also be romantic? Small things are nice too, in fact it's probably easier for her…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 04:50 AM
1

I agree with you, it is important that we continue to self improve, though after more than a decade of the self improving I must admit it gets a bit tiring (and it feels as though I may have a limit), still I think it's important to also widens my net to encompass as many potential dates as possible. I understand what you mean about being alone, it can be very fulfilling if you that's your sort of thing, however after 20 years of asking women out and being single I would like to try out being in…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 03:25 AM
1

I mean that's still something though isn't it? I'm 37 virgin and I figure at this point I really can't afford to be picky with a lot of those superficial things like having children or, to borrow your words, being ugly. I mean to get to this stage and be single I must not be too highly valued of a catch myself so I'm not really in any position to be choosy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 02:19 AM
1

I have to disagree, I think beggars can't be choosers and if you want to catch anything you need to cast as wide a net as you can.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 08:15 PM
1

more of her to love
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/24 08:14 PM
23

Only 10% of men are virgins at 24 so your perspective is in the minority. Me, a 37 year old virgin: "uh.... well this is awkward".
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/24 08:45 PM
12

Honestly at this point in my life (37 years old) without any romantic success just being interested in me would be a pretty big turn on
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 05:52 PM
1

Thank you, English is not my native language so I wasn't sure I was understanding, now I understand using the tripod to record the weightlifting to check your form.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 06:20 AM
1

I'm not familiar with weightlifting terminology what does a tripod mean/do in this situation?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/24 05:37 AM
6

I don't know about everyone else but when you get to be a 37 year old virgin, as I am, you tend to cast as wide a net as you can, as a result, while it's certainly not desirable traits for a woman to have, you really can't be picky about things like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/24 04:42 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter