TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Ok-Cicada5911 Archive

View 1 post and 20 comments by Ok-Cicada5911 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

Ok-Cicada5911/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 06:02 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

Not what you want to hear, but mental illness is in a pretty wide spectrum of "things that can go wrong in a marriage." You can't reason with the mentally ill the same exact way you can't reason with a shopaholic, a bad driver, a cheater, a lazy person, a disrespectful person, a narcissist, an abuser, an overeater, an addict, etc etc. I'm not sure what certified means. I was diagnosed Bipolar Axis 1 by a state licensed psychiatrist. I've had two psychotic episodes at ages 26 and 27 but none in t…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 09:51 PM
1

Software engineer.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 09:53 PM
1

My divorce took two years. We still aren't done. There are all sorts of outstanding things. Three of my vehicles (motorcycle, my car, my son's car) still have her name on them for example. Our roles are reversed. I want things resolved. She threatens a restraining order if I contact her in any way other than a PO box. One day I'll want to trade in a car. Not today tho. So it's a big who cares. There are a lot of buffers. A QDRO lawyer played intermediary on savings. A realtor played intermediary…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 09:49 PM
1

My son lives with me while he finishes college. He has a part-time work gig but he's otherwise 90% dependent on me. He leaves pots and pans in the sink. His leftovers grow mold. I don't really mind. Throwing food out is easy. And I like things the way I like them. He'd have to be a mind reader to figure my routine out. He has his own responsibilities. I expect him to shop, take out the garbage, and mop. Kind of black and white, difficult to get wrong. I give him thumbnails of what he needs to bu…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 09:36 PM
1

I got a too-good-to-be-true deal. I owe zero alimony after 20 years of marriage. She makes 50k. I make 160k. She did some pretty horrible things and the judge didn't like it at all. I worry about that settlement a lot. But it's not a soft spot for her or an underdog thing. I worry that the terms may unravel one day. Only two "real life" people know the full details, my sister and my dad. I talk about it a bit more on the internet but sparingly and anonymously. I try to deidentify whenever I can …
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 09:21 PM
1

I've been connecting with former coworkers or old friends and chasing their hobbies. Kind of tackles the "social" part. One surfs. Been doing that every other week. It's just the two of us and friendly hellos to other surfers. Another friend mountain bikes. Been doing that here or there. That's a larger community of about a dozen people. I ride a motorcycle. There are groups around but I'm not a fan of riding with randoms. Not really interested in no gear squid riding. Track days are more respon…
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 01:22 PM
6

Pretty par for the course. Healing is non-linear. Try to shake it off. If you feel you can't recover, seek therapy. Get it diagnosed as depression. This will help mentally and with courts/work. I was at 0-50% at work for a long time. Long time. Counted in months if not years. I couldn't get away with it at my previous job. It was sprint driven with epics and stories. We'd report in daily and tally successes every two weeks. I took 6 weeks short-term disability, went back, wasn't much better. I v…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 03:26 PM
5

Hold onto hope. I'm over 50. I've been diagnosed with a mood disorder but despite it, I am "high functioning." I do pretty well at work. My divorce hit me like a ton of bricks. Anxiety is often paired with depression. I learned to see both depression and anxiety as "a temporary trick of the mind." If you can survive until tomorrow, you'll be fine. If you can't make it to tomorrow, jump on cardio. (I went from 270lb to 180lb). Meditation is good as a emotional control tool. Journaling is good for…
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 03:45 PM
2

Mileage may very, but in my case, it took four or five attempts for AT&T to get it right. Time was counted in hours. I had a choice between an AI script and a human script reader. The AT&T website was hit or miss. 50% of the time it crashed. AT&T made a new account but it got entangled with the old one. It didn't help that my ex was livid about the sun rising. She offered no cooperation and actually went with "what will upset him the most" games. The accounts were entangled in weird ways. They s…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 04:40 PM
2

Phones are like key rings these days. My phone number serves as 2FA/MFA for any number of VPN, RDP, and SSO work accounts in additional to all sorts of personal accounts. As a general rule, workplace interference upsets judges here quite a bit. I'd actually recommend going out of your way to separate accounts without affecting hers at all. Document what you're doing and why. It's a somewhat rare request for phone companies and it doesn't always go as well as it should.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 05:03 AM
2

Congrats!! Similar experience. And I remember the feeling. It ranks pretty damn high. Birth of my children. My college graduation. Finally getting term sheets. Soak in the good vibes brother.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 07:26 PM
5

Similar experience. She moved out, lawyered up. Her lawyer sent an official looking letter on really nice bond paper. "I'm a lawyer and I am representing Mrs. X in the dissolution of your marriage." Then ... nothing. Six months later I actually filed. I didn't take her words at face value. I thought the silence was soul searching or something. Nope, she was out reinventing herself. She was lazy in marriage, even lazier in divorce. As far as reputation amongst friends and family, you will be the …
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 07:18 PM
5

I cannot comment on pending litigation. :) I gained weight, went from 185 to 270. She ballooned from 105 to 200. I kept re-drawing new lines in the sand. I should have stood my ground, divorced a decade earlier. I stayed in the marriage for the kids. I put too much pressure on her to get a real career. She hovered at $50k. Lots of stress for her and me both. I bought a house very late in life. I didn't invest my money well. I didn't stop her from spending trivially (at her worst, $2000 in one mo…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 04:50 PM
2

Taking it slowly helps. I worried about everything at once. Took a while, but I was able to reframe that / prioritize and worry about one (fixable) thing at a time. Thinking along the lines of what was spared helps. My children are healthy. I'm healthy. People face much worse challenges ...
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 03:40 PM
2

Same here. Crazy wife. Expensive lawyer. Crazy wife as in she prioritized needling me over her own financial well being. I was being charged about $2000/mo over two years. My lawyer always found new ways to spend money. And crazy person always found new ways to delay. CA puts freezes on assets. I couldn't cash out stocks or even sell cars. I maxed out credit cards and took out a signature loan. Thankfully I had really good credit at the time. Credit score dropped to low 600s before the house sol…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 03:27 PM
4

Ego and a sense of ownership are red flags. No one uses WordPerfect any more. Amateur websites are written by amatures. Looking up court documents on a court document website isn't difficult. It's almost like it was designed for that purpose. You need to find a new hobby.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 09:44 PM
1

Considering the equity buyout is also a support buyout, have your lawyer run a present value calculation. He/She should have an idea of what monthly support will look like and be able to roughly predict what that lifecycle of support will ultimately produce N years down the line in today's dollars. If that dollar amount plus 50% of the shared equity is bigger than 45k, you have a bargaining chip. Doesn't mean you have to use it if it's not your thing. But it will add leverage elsewhere in the ne…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 11:54 PM
24

Most women know their role in the divorce, that it's a significant role, and that they behaved poorly many many many times. They know how they contributed to the divorce. Angry women hide it all and deny it. They are well aware they are glossing over a mountain of facts. This unbalances them mentally. A lot of anger is born of just mishandling the truth. Women who are taking advantage know that one human should never be indentured to another. It's criminal. Yet they openly support servitude unde…
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 04:00 PM
8

Alimony made sense once upon a time when Ozzie worked and Harriet cooked. The weaker spouse actually stood little chance of making it in the work force. You're exactly right. It doesn't make sense today. Women have a very, very good chance to make it big in the work force. In some careers, they even get preferential treatment. And this seems to have benefitted you on a personal level. So, congrats on that. The courts, in all their wisdom, are taking alimony, which was tolerable and perhaps even …
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 07:55 PM
3

So she just drove off a cliff in a game of chicken. Do you think it'll end better by pointing her to another cliff?
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 11:28 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter