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Ok-Elephant4746 Archive

View 0 posts and 184 comments by Ok-Elephant4746 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Is there no way you can get legal representation? The situation you described is very similar to what I went through a few years ago, but I had a fantastic lawyer. Please make every effort to retain some sort of legal representation, even if it means forcing your stbx to pay. If you are a stay at home parent, this could be a possibility. Women do it all the time. Godspeed, brother!
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 08:03 PM
4

No, but my cat has one. Heard good things.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 07:16 PM
2

And I’m guessing you’re a female? Your prompt solution to everything is therapy??
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 01:45 PM
1

If you live in the West, I totally believe you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 01:44 PM
4

My situation is exactly identical. 5 years single, no desire to bring a female into my life.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 02:38 AM
5

5 years single. No desire to date. These have been the best years of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/25 02:36 AM
2

A 5K hit!?! Wow!! Any idea why she’d suddenly start this BS?
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 04:11 PM
4

Marriage counseling is one of the silliest ways of throwing away your cash.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 12:30 AM
8

No, couples therapy took off because men stopped going by spare the rod and spoil the “child” principle.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/25 12:15 AM
2

That’s exactly how I see the world now. Divorced since 5 years, single, and happy. Always there for my kid.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/25 10:13 PM
2

The number of menopausal mothers with young children may have been fewer, but older women certainly were around in a family setting.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/25 02:48 AM
3

There was at least some sort of societal control, absent which, complete chaos ensues. That is the situation right now.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 06:20 PM
4

I didn’t mention sex at all. My point was the alleged menopause -induced poor behavior of women leading to a lot of stress and tension in the family, contributing to deteriorating relation between the spouses.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 05:56 PM
11

I think that the menopause excuse is overblown. How did women over generations get through this? By being adults, nurturing, and raising healthy families (by and large). And now suddenly these TikTok feminists have taken over the narrative on menopause, claiming that it is like being perpetually pregnant, thereby promoting childish behavior on the part of these entitled women. I don’t buy it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 05:25 PM
5

You’ve got to let go of that silly feminist talking point of men being “intimidated” by the so-called “successful” chicks. It isn’t reality. Men aren’t intimidated by these females: we may want to give them a wide berth because a lot of them are insufferable aholes since they think that they have “climbed to the top” (often with affirmative action policies all over the place) and therefore deserve the moon, but we aren’t afraid, as the TikTok thots like to project.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 11:30 AM
10

Lawyer up, get out, and do not marry again. And crucially, do not grovel to be taken back. If you do not have kids, count your blessings and leave!
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/25 07:40 PM
5

In a year or two, you should probably alter the custody schedule to have her sleep some of the overnights, ideally 50%, at your place, as well. Otherwise, she will always be a visitor with you, which isn’t really optimal under most circumstances.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 01:07 AM
6

Do you pay alimony? Then there may be an incentive to keep the marriage a “secret” because alimony typically ends after a new marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 10:52 AM
1

Be firm with your time and schedule with your child. If it is during your custody time, and you’re not comfortable giving up your time, then please call up the school and de-enlist your kid. You should have been consulted here.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 12:00 AM
2

Just for a few more months, I’m guessing. So yeah, let her bluff about taking you to court 🤣🤣. The court will obviously listen to the wishes of a 17 year old.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 06:59 PM
1

Why is your 21 year old still subject to a custody schedule? She’s an adult! Your 17 year old is going to be an adult soon, so why the butt hurt over custody? They can choose where they want to live, can’t they?
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 06:49 PM
2

Hmmm… wonder if there is currently a way of determining custody in a pre-nup or something similar, even before the kid is born. I mean something that is enforceable. Don’t know enough about law, myself. Lawyers here, please feel free to jump in.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 08:53 PM
2

Totally agree with you about keeping the state out of marriage, but problem is: what happens when you have kids? The state would step in and decide custody, I think. If you are an unmarried father, you may be raked over the coals to get any custody of the kids. Your “wife” may decide to make herself scarce with the kids, and you might have little recourse. I advocate having kids through surrogacy, if one can afford it, even if it is at least one kid.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 08:08 PM
1

Dude, I got down to your rule number 7, and literally rolled off the couch laughing 😆😆😆😆. My sides are still hurting! But on a more serious note, is your son in that room when she’s getting off? That’s potentially a criminal act!
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 07:19 PM
2

Yeah, that makes sense. Good luck, brother!
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 12:08 PM
8

When you say “watch who she hangs out with”, what do you mean, really? Even if someone’s wife starts hanging out with a group of divorced Karens, what could the guy possibly do? You can’t stop her, can you, without getting slapped with a false DV accusation?
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/25 11:01 AM
2

🤣🤣🤣
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 10:39 PM
5

This was exactly my marriage. The best decision was to divorce her, especially for the kid, who doesn’t have to live in a war zone any more.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 02:21 PM
9

When you say what are you going to do with your life: would you rather not line by yourself? Single life is awesome, man! I’m sorry if you’re feeling sad, but trust me, being solo is the best!! Wishing you well!
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 02:15 PM
2

Social media, aggravated by feminism, I think.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 01:26 AM
2

Brilliant summing up! My thoughts exactly.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 01:25 AM
6

A simple answer to your question is that we men are cursed with our sex drive, that is why. Most men do not a lot of female attention when we are young, so the lure of sex causes us to act stupid. I found the following article very insightful: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cultural-animal/201012/the-reality-the-male-sex-drive
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 01:23 AM
1

Exactly. You get to take your kids to the doctor on your own days, was my point. Deny her taking the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 04:43 PM
3

I’m guessing you have a custody order? In that case, how can she book an appointment on one of your days without a written agreement? If you want, you can deny her request.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/25 04:30 PM
1

And way easier. You do your thing and move on with life. That way, you are free from the clutches of toxic females . Canada has a more lax attitude towards sex work compared to the US, as I understand it, but it is technically still illegal. Montreal is a good spot for this, isn’t it?
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 10:28 AM
5

I am a single dad who’s exactly in your situation, and I also work a lot, in addition to keeping a decent fitness routine. However, I have never dated after my divorce, because I find most women very off-putting. I also realized that my motivation to “date” is rooted in a desire for sex, because my other needs are met elsewhere. Thankfully, I’m one of those people most happy by themselves. Therefore, I occasionally scratch that itch by partaking in the “marketplace”.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 10:21 AM
7

Actually i slightly disagree with you, but only very slightly: you have to convince yourself that you are better off dating females rather than being by yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 12:24 PM
-6

Why would you like to meet women to date? Just curious. Is it because you expect them to provide “emotional support “? Or is it for sex?
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 11:49 AM
1

Sounds like your country has decent family laws, at least. I’d try to get full custody of your daughter after talking to lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/25 10:57 AM
1

Correct. It is transactional like the alternatives, but the transaction is clean.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/25 02:58 AM
4

Pay for it, if you can.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/25 02:50 AM
1

In many places in Europe, paid fun is legal, so…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 08:19 PM
2

Hopefully you will fight for 50-50 custody
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 12:25 AM
4

I don’t know that you can do much here. In my case, I’m your ex: our personalities are so, so different that any sort of co-parenting had to take a backseat. I have mostly always parallel-parented with a very business-like attitude in order to maintain boundaries. My kid is in their early teens now, so things have gotten much easier recently.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 11:23 PM
2

Good, perfect!! Paying for sex should be legal, although it never will be in USA.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 02:26 AM
9

I think you are absolutely right. When your wife does finally divorce you, please remember the sins of your fathers and make sure to donate her the house (in case you have one), please insist on continuing to pay her mortgage if applicable, give her all your savings, pay the car loans, and please, please insist on giving her your entire retirement funds. Plus, offer to sleep outside of the house, on the sidewalk so you can be at her beck and call if anything ever needs fixing in the house: FOR F…
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/25 10:37 PM
1

Yes, this. Mine did call the cops but nothing came of it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 10:34 PM
6

It is uncanny how your current situation mirrors mine when I was getting divorced. In my case, I filed, and that severely hurt her ego. Tried all sorts of dirty tricks to paint me as the aggressor, but I gray rocked the whole time, which made her madder. I am living my best life for the last several years, and so will you, soon!
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 10:47 AM
2

But his kids are teenagers, so they’ll stop caring soon. My ex used to do this with our kid, but now he is in this teens and doesn’t give a damn.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 10:33 AM
2

Rage clean 😆😆😆 That one hit home 😅😅
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 11:25 PM
1

Yes, but how “expensive” is it to find those ladies? In terms of time and emotion? Plus chances are those ladies won’t be as attractive. Otherwise they wouldn’t be in that situation. Add to that the prospect of your name ending up somewhere on the internet as an “abuser”. I’ll grant you that it will be very expensive to go the paid sex route frequently, so you’ll have to cut down on frequency. On balance, still preferable to pay, IMO.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 11:43 AM
1

Why not? On moral grounds? They are all trafficked?
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 05:43 PM
2

This is one of the more sage comments here, especially the observation regarding paid intimacy. Wish more men could attain this level of clarity.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 05:42 PM
1

If find yourself asking that question, then the answer is generally a Yes, and I think you know that as well. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 07:17 PM
3

Does she have a bachelor degree? If so, then you can argue that she is employable, thereby limiting the damage on you. But as others have pointed out, seek legal counsel asap.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/25 08:19 PM
6

Please press charges. This was DV, plain and simple. Imagine what would happen if the roles were flipped.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 02:17 AM
3

Professional SWers.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 08:46 PM
2

Just asking out of curiosity: why would you become self-centered if you do not date? Do you have connections with your family? Children?
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 10:10 PM
6

Also, let’s not waste our time arguing with someone who uses the word “patriarchy” whenever convenient (or ever, at all).
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/25 10:30 PM
6

Ditto, brother.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/25 03:09 PM
4

Your post demonstrates beyond a reasonable doubt that you are a feminist: you feel men talking down to you? We don’t give a shit as to your presence, which I do admit can come off as frustrating, but trust me, they really don’t care about your income and net worth. Kindly sod off, will you?
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 06:57 PM
3

Bravo!
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 03:52 PM
1

Yes, it has absolutely to do with me and you and many others being on a divorce Reddit. Calling the participants of the Female Dating Strategy “people” is naive at best and disingenuous at worst. They are Females, which is proclaimed in the title of that subreddit.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 10:55 AM
3

What happened there, just curious? Did you get banned? Won’t surprise me if you did!
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 10:06 AM
1

Bitter “people”? Why not call a spade a spade? Just bitter females.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 10:33 PM
4

No. Save your money for a good post-divorce life. Deadwood is just deadwood.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 10:31 PM
13

This is precisely the reason I divorced my ex-wife. I was earning way more money on a job that demanded a lot of my time and attention. She wanted to split chores 50-50, which I straight refused to do. I did offer to hire bi-weekly housekeeping services, which she turned down. Divorcing her was the best decision I’ve ever taken in my life.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 03:45 PM
14

Be the father that your son deserves: call CPS and initiate legal action.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/25 12:18 PM
6

Why would you take any comment made by females, essentially those feminists, seriously? Don’t let those low-life sub-humans trigger you. Ignore their existence and carry on with your life. And of course, be the best dad you can possibly be.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/25 06:32 PM
3

Pretty much my own experience. My son and I had to weather many such episodes, but finally we are free. My heart breaks for your daughter. Try to get as much custody as possible, with 50/50 being the minimum acceptable. PFAs are hard to get where I live, especially with family court bias against fathers. Godspeed!
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 02:49 AM
1

Ditto!
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 12:09 PM
0

My man! 🤣🤣
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 02:16 AM
0

How are German chicks?
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 02:12 AM
2

Dude, get that “good wives” idea out of your head pronto! The sooner the better. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the good wives are already wives, i.e. married.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 02:09 AM
2

Perfectly summed up!
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 02:06 AM
1

It is not 50/50. Stick to your guns and extract 50/50 for yourself and your kids. You’d want to be involved in their academics in the near future and therefore need more school days.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 08:08 PM
1

If you can afford it, I’d look into surrogacy. That way you won’t lose your kids again.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 04:12 PM
3

Are you a feminist? Or worse, a male feminist? I fought (and won) tooth and nail for 50/50, as have many of my colleagues. People like you that propagate this misinformation are scum on Earth!
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 10:24 AM
7

Please do not take a single mother’s word on her world view of divorced dads. She probably has an agenda. Most divorced dads fight for 50/50 and fully utilize their custody times with joy and happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 01:56 AM
3

Wanting to preserve my sanity. That’s my excuse 😀
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 09:00 PM
1

Well, I was thinking of paying for surrogacy, not even with a known partner. It’d be only you and your child, period. Hard work for the first five-ish years, but potentially rewarding for the rest of your life. I’d do it that way if I had to have another go. In my 40s, I have a good career and a lot of time-flexibility, so definitely an option.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 02:28 AM
3

Why not have a kid without marrying at all? If you are doing well financially, surrogacy might be an option. That way, you won’t lose your child when push comes to shove.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 02:00 AM
2

Bingo! My thoughts precisely!!
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 02:05 PM
1

Pretty typical behavior, I’m afraid. Happy for you!!
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 02:04 PM
1

God speed, man!!
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 01:32 PM
4

Yes, I was. Files for divorce a few years ago, these have been the best, happiest, and the most fulfilling times in my life so far. I wake up happy, go to bed happy, and walk around with positive feelings in my head.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 01:11 PM
1

Yeah, you’re right. That stupid cultural sh!t is all over the place, unfortunately. It’d just be nice to be able to work out in peace w/o a bunch of yoga-tights-clad butts constantly in my face.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 12:56 PM
1

This is a great post. Question for you guys: anyone aware of a men’s-only gym franchise? I’d love to join, then.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 10:48 AM
3

My thoughts exactly.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 02:22 AM
2

Ah, just realized that you are a female, so never mind.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 02:03 AM
2

Check out the poster’s profile, would you?
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 02:02 AM
6

Why does he need a woman to be with, just curious?
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 02:01 AM
2

Does he know about your OF account and the fact that you are posting your tits and ass all over the internet? If so, then that’ll give a clue as to why.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 01:44 AM
-1

I do have a boy in his teens. I have already told him that a good strategy would be settle into a high-paying career early, and then around 40, when he is established in his career and can spare time to raise a kid, to have a child on his own through surrogacy. I think more and more men should consider this option.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/25 12:21 AM
1

Why was it in her name? Just curious. Were you the one who opened it and making regular deposits?
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 04:58 PM
2

She punched you in public??
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 08:18 PM
3

Your daughter is in her teens, so curious as to why you still have to communicate regularly with your ex. Can you not just rely on your daughter and take things up separately any “third party” such as school or what not?
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 08:17 PM
1

Please do whatever you can to continue to build a healthy relationship with your child. There is no custody order in place, as you say, and therefore, please do not give in to your stbx’s alienation tactics. Mine tried to do the same when I was getting divorced, but I refused to budge. Involve a lawyer if you haven’t already.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 10:23 AM
2

Dude, c’mon. We’re honorable men and don’t do that. Many of us have been wronged, and won’t make future mistakes, but actively doing something malicious is not in our DNA, correct? Malice is for those nasty b!tches!
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 08:57 PM
4

I beg to differ. If he starts dating with the intention of getting laid, it will take an inordinate amount of effort to get into someone’s pants. The process will completely wear him out.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 07:39 PM
2

Pay for it, if it is legal where you live.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 07:06 PM
2

Yeah, don’t do it in America. Way too dicey.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 06:44 PM
4

Yeah, but not everyone is looking for a connection. It is about getting your needs met. OP said that he is looking to pay to get out of dating, meaning he is after the s*x component of it. Nothing wrong with it at all!
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 12:32 PM
6

I’m completely in favor of the idea. Men need intimacy, like it or not. This puts men at a serious disadvantage in the dating market. Academic articles have been written about it: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1207/s15327957pspr0503_5 Taking care of it professionally makes complete logical sense. Takes the edge off, and you can go about your life in a normal manner. However, you haven’t indicated whether it’s legal where you live. If not, there’s a bit of risk that way, especially some…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 11:45 AM
-2

Like boobs? Rent a pair from time to time, and move on with life in the interim. Problem solved!
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 10:12 AM
2

😅😅😅👏👏👏
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 09:42 PM
1

Don’t!
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 01:01 AM
3

Who gives a sh!t about finding wives or girlfriends? Rent one at the closest wh*rehouse for a couple of hours, and then move on!
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 01:00 AM
2

Awwww…. that is sooooo depressing … is there nothing he can do to change your mind?
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 12:36 PM
3

What are we good for? Try building airplanes, sending men to the moon (yes, y’all are getting a ride, too), building pyramids, running the government, organizing armies… But don’t get me wrong, a warm, wet p*ssy feels great from time to time, mostly as a distraction, which is where y’all come in 🤣🤣🤣🤣
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 08:01 PM
1

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/25 05:34 PM
5

I’m a professor at a very selective higher institution of learning, presumably surrounded by females of the highest caliber 😅
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 12:07 PM
9

Most women are cheap and have very little integrity. Not talking about sexual cheating, specifically, because I don’t have that experience, but very few women are stand-up humans, as far as I can tell.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/25 11:47 AM
1

The ramifications may be as they are, but we live in a capitalist society. If the egg donor decides to provide that service for a hefty paycheck, then that is her decision. The ramifications of divorce in a child’s life are tremendous as well, and the divorce courts are at least as corrupt. Admittedly , being a single parent from get-go is not for everybody, but at least one doesn’t have to witness the tribulations of a child living through the parents’ divorce drama, and the possibility that th…
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/25 03:13 PM
1

I misunderstood. For BJ, I agree with you.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 12:49 AM
1

I believe you’re thinking of NV; it is illegal in most of NV except in a few counties. Also yes, illegal in every other state of the US.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 12:47 AM
1

I’m not arguing on the merits of why they want to see it. They may have their reasons, but I’d never agree to it. This is unique to the States, btw, because of the legal standing of this profession here.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 12:39 AM
1

Wrong. Every high-end escort will insist on protection, which I totally support. If OP doesn’t see value in it, then the escort route is definitely not for him.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 12:37 AM
1

Yeah, but they’ll want to see your LinkedIn profile. Not worth it, IMO.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 12:08 AM
0

You’re right, the prospect of getting into hot water is real. Not worth it if you have kids and a good career. However, if you are successful in your career and make good money, I highly recommend that you take trips to places where it is legal, a couple times a year. Definitely scratches that dating itch.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 12:07 AM
3

Sorry to hear about your situation. Why do you think your wife is going to get full custody upon divorce? It seems that you’re Polish. Do you live in Poland and it is common for women to get full control of their children?
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 12:39 PM
1

Did you ever consider surrogacy? There’d be a woman somewhere, sure, but far enough away from your life.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 12:03 PM
1

Oh no, I don’t date. I was just saying that I am an academic as well, like Ok-Builder, thus sympathize with him as a fellow academic. It is precisely that “game” I refuse to play, and therefore keep myself out of that cesspool.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 11:46 AM
2

Exactly. Agree 100%
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 01:09 AM
2

Read the comment carefully: if she has a strong opinion on the manner of washing dishes, then she should do it herself. Otherwise, she should stfu and let others do a chore following a method they prefer. It is not about husbands supporting stay-at-home wives, which would be crazy under the current divorce laws.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 11:04 PM
3

Don’t get me wrong; I agree with you that all of these make sense and household chores can be learned. In the days of yore (not too long ago), younger women were trained to do household duties in an optimal fashion, which isn’t the case anymore because a) it’d offend their sentiments as household duties are considered “lowly”, and b) for practical reasons such as time constraints as many of them now work outside of the home. However, if one partner has a strong preference of how a specific chore…
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 02:09 PM
4

Dude, most things in life can be optimized, but time is finite, right ? The question is, where does dishwasher feature in the list of your priorities, and what are the downsides of not optimizing dishwasher loading? It’s just hard to get that idea across to most of these “liberated” females.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 12:06 PM
3

I’ve been reading your post elsewhere, bro, and do feel for you. I have a very similar background and career as yours, so can commiserate somewhat.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 02:35 PM
8

The last line is 100% true.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 02:33 PM
11

Ooh, this one hit home 😅😅😅
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 02:18 PM
2

Brilliantly summed up what is in my head, my friend!!
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 02:09 PM
2

Pay for it, if you can. If illegal where you are, temporarily travel to a place where it is legal and get it out of your system.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 02:07 PM
6

Me too! Almost!! Except that I’d want to run back home to my kid if I spent too much time away. Wish you a lifetime of serenity after she moves out, my man!
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 01:15 PM
3

🤣🤣🤣🤣
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 01:13 PM
20

Dude, this is sooo true. Divorced since a few years, and I hardly want to leave home now. When I was married, used to look for excuses to go out just to get away from her!
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 12:48 PM
0

Then we will have to agree to disagree. Physical intimacy is of utmost importance in a marriage, missing which many marital problems would ensue.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 10:41 PM
0

I agree with you somewhat, but what about sex? The ( perceived) guarantee of regular sex. You won’t disagree that most young men have a high sex drive, and the lure of having a partner providing regular action is a strong one?
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 09:21 PM
2

And yet you are here in a men’s divorce sub, sniffing butt 🤣🤣🤣
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 12:41 PM
2

It is high time for that nicety to change.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/25 12:16 AM
0

Good, so what’s the problem, then? It’s a win-win.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 11:09 PM
2

“Some” women, perhaps, but “most” men.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 10:10 PM
-1

He isn’t sad. He’s just fucking bitches by the dozen and stating how trivial it is, so good for him!
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 10:03 PM
2

No, “people” aren’t hating on him; only females are. Ones that you couldn’t pay a homeless bum to fuck. Those ones. And admit it, that category is barely human!
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 10:02 PM
1

Who gives a shit as to what women think? Seriously!!
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 10:00 PM
0

🤣🤣🤣 The whole point of DEI is to include women and other traditionally backward and incompetent entities into men’s spaces so they can survive on a few breadcrumbs that they otherwise wouldn’t get because of their incompetence 🤣🤣🤣
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 09:42 PM
5

Typical female response! For most men, that’s kind of the point, haha!
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/25 09:38 PM
1

Very sound advice. You are fortunate that paid intimacy is legal where you live. In the US, it isn’t, as you say. The solution would be to take trips to those places and quench thirst. Not necessarily cheap, but a real life-saver for those who can afford to.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 08:48 AM
1

Thank you for sharing your experience, and thoughts! Good luck to you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 07:52 AM
3

Might I ask an honest question? Why do you do it? Is it because of a craving for physical intimacy? FWIW, I’m a divorced dude in my 40s.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 09:47 PM
1

Your first line is precisely what it is: just to get laid!
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/25 09:43 PM
2

I went through this very same phase after my divorce, and after some self-reflection, identified the source: I was missing sex. Once I realized the root-cause, I went about solving it precisely the same way your thought has gone: girlfriend experiences abroad. Still do it a couple times a year. Keeps me sane, and strictly out of relationshits and the dating game. I, too, find it much easier to navigate life and career alone, and have made significant career improvements post-divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 09:17 AM
3

Ditto!
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 02:19 PM
2

My sentiments, precisely. I can never understand what causes men to start dating after an ending a long-term marriage, especially if there are kids. One can still satisfy the physical cravings rather easily, without jumping into the cesspool that is dating.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/25 01:15 PM
1

Sadists would, probably.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/25 01:12 PM
14

Brilliant!! My sentiments exactly! Divorced for 4 years, never dated since, and no intention of dating, either. Once you get used to the peace, it’s hard to deviate from the path I’m on.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/25 07:20 PM
4

Yes, one kid. My boy has flourished after the divorce. I couldn’ bear to watch him suffer in an excessively negative environment, witnessing his parents constantly bicker. My main reason for filing was to get him out of that very poisonous situation.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/25 12:34 AM
9

I left for this very reason. Been savoring the bliss ever since.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/25 09:13 PM
1

Wiser words have seldom been spoken!
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/25 10:16 PM
2

Bingo! Mine was exactly like that, which is why I divorced her.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/25 09:43 PM
1

No, OP isn’t that desperate, hopefully.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/25 09:42 PM
5

Your story is very similar to my own experience, except that my ex used to work. I don’t know what your finances are like or what the local alimony and child support laws are, but I’d strongly consider getting out for the sake of your daughter. My heart used to break for my kid when they’d be witnessing such things. The situation is infinitely better after the divorce, and my kid is thriving. You may have to fight for custody, though, because you your wife seems to have personality disorders, so…
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/24 11:59 AM
1

The child will experience the parenting philosophies of two parents in two separate households that are free from conflict, that’s how.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/24 01:13 AM
3

OP, your story is nearly identical to mine. I also decided to divorce because of differences in parenting styles, and value systems in general. However, in my case there were significant hurdles throughout the divorce process including disagreement on the financial split as well as the custody arrangement. In the end I came out with 50/50, but still paying alimony. Overall very happy with the outcome, with kid thriving.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/24 11:30 PM
3

Pretty much what my situation was. Filed for divorce and put an end to misery. Best decision ever.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 09:08 PM
1

All excellent points. Number 4 is crucial for maintaining sanity, IMO. Most healthy men have a high sex drive, and the society does everything to shame us for it. I say give them a finger and do your thing as long you’re careful and safe.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 11:59 AM
1

This is a very relevant matter that I myself have pondered recently. However, as some others have pointed out, I don’t see this, or for that matter, any administration publicly advocating for this issue in the near future. A plummeting birth rate may not move the needle much any time soon either because of how much political power women hold.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 02:13 AM
7

Honest question, no offense meant: why do you feel the need to date? Is it for physical intimacy, mostly? If so, I get that. I’m 46 M, divorced (I filled) about 4-5 years ago, and realized that I have no interest in dating except for meeting a very biological urge, because all my social needs are better met by other dudes. Trying to understand if I’m odd or not, because I see this theme in this sub rather often. Again, no offense intended.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 11:38 PM
3

Why were you guys always going to her parents? Does your family live far away? Just curious.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/24 12:39 PM
1

Men, not women. Can’t emphasize this enough.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 02:36 AM
1

Spot on!
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 08:39 AM
1

Competing for attention: been there, bud. Stay strong and always act in a way that doesn’t stress the kid out. They’ll be very sensitive to any toxic dynamic between the parents at this time. Your stbx may try to do everything to keep you out of the picture so she can argue for more custody time. Never agree to anything less than 50/50 or thereabouts.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 04:18 PM
2

Yes, this!
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 02:34 PM
1

This was precisely my experience in a very high-conflict divorce that I initiated to get out of a nearly identical situation described by OP.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 02:32 PM
1

I was in the exact same situation a few years ago before I pulled the plug. Somehow my family was the “enemy” for her, and she did everything to keep them away from me and our kids, including throwing tantrums every time there was contact. She was playing the same effed-up dynamics her mom played with her dad’s side of her family. Constant verbal altercation, yelling, screaming, bad-mouthing me to my colleagues’ wives, never wanting to do anything active, the list goes on. I had zero attraction …
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 02:27 PM
1

Can you elaborate on why you’re trying to avoid porn and masturbation? For religious reasons?
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 07:35 PM
1

You mention that you’re not from America. Are you originally from. Western country, though? Female -biased courts are pervasive in the west in general, as are false allegations leveled against dads to remove them from the children’s’ lives.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 01:18 PM
1

If she’s an adult, which she is, and is explicitly asking OP to choose between her and his family, then I’m skeptical as to whether any amount of counseling will help at all. I wouldn’t want to live with this person anymore out of principle.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 06:03 PM
1

How old are they? If they’re in their teens or pre-teens, that may not necessarily be the case, at least in my experience. Did you get any indication of this?
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/24 06:00 PM
1

I’m not a Christian (not religious, in general), so I wouldn’t really get where you’re coming from. However, I agree with the others that not even taking care of yourself is probably not a good idea for a variety of reasons, including falling for the wrong one again out of desperation. Biology will do what it does to the majority of humans, which is hard to escape. I am also divorced, and do not date on principle, but cleaning my pipes keeps me sane. The other thing that helps is consciously avo…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 12:32 PM
1

I second this. Fortunately, my career is my passion, so I stay busy when I’m not with my kid. When I am with my kid I consciously work in building memories: travel, dining out, museum visits, and of course, school work and academics. Apparently mom is too busy staring at her phone and chasing the pants (😅 just made that up, maybe?) so the kid doesn’t get much attention from her, but I try to nurture him when he’s with me. You got this, my dude!! Your kid is your purpose!!
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 07:16 PM
2

Amen to the first sentence. I think some men who are doing well financially and wanting children should seriously consider the surrogacy route. Sure, it will not be easy, but once you’re in your 40s and established in your career, it’d be doable.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 09:12 PM
2

I was married for 10 horrid years, divorced for 4. I do not date, and keep my relationships with women strictly professional. Needless to say that I will not ever marry.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/24 09:08 PM
1

Again, are you 6 ft or above? What do you think make your profile pass the height filter 😆😆
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 09:41 PM
3

That’s all good, but how tall are you?
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 05:36 PM
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