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Ok-Object-2921 Archive

View 1 post and 135 comments by Ok-Object-2921 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
72

DebateOk-Object-2921/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:28 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

I’m not sure whether what we call “female sexuality” is mostly a biological phenomenon or largely shaped by social conditions. We often talk about female sexuality as fundamentally different from male sexuality, but that difference exists within a specific context. Factors like the risk of sexual violence, the physical burden of pregnancy, social judgment around promiscuity, and the fact that women’s sexual pleasure has historically been deprioritized all shape how women approach sex. It makes m…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 07:23 PM
2

I kinda agree with you but your framing of weaponizing her sexuality is crazy, like he deserves payout for whatever labour he puts in, which he doesn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 06:54 PM
2

I get where you’re coming from, but I don’t think going on a date is as strong of a hard-to-fake signal of interest for women as it is for men. In most dating norms, men are still generally expected to plan and pay for the date. That creates a front-loaded cost that falls much more consistently on men than on women. Because of that, you could argue that when a man goes on a date, he is already communicating a baseline level of interest through the time, effort, and money he spends. That same sig…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 06:30 PM
–

I mean sort of, an ugly gay minority is gonna be as able to sleep with other gay dudes as an ugly straight minority women which is to say they can. My point is gay dudes are much closer to the women experience then men so they can fuck but getting commitment is the difficult part for straight dudes it's extremely diffult to sleep around and then slightly less to get into a relationship (caveat that it's easier if your a bottom what you're are saying might be more true for an ugly top)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 06:23 PM
–

No it is quite a bit different gay male problems more resembles womens problem they can fuck often but no commitment that's a very different problem then the ones straight males have on average.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 05:27 PM
–

One thing worth considering when people talk about “bad men” sleeping with lots of women is that the women involved might not be high-quality partners either. That’s something a lot of more blackpilled guys overlook. Yes, a guy might be sleeping around, but are these women the kind of people you’d want around your family, or representing you socially? Often, probably not. It’s frequently women from similarly unstable or dysfunctional backgrounds who get involved with these kinds of men. In many …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 05:17 PM
–

Being funny is probably about as genetic as having a good sense of humor in the first place. A lot of the traits that contribute to being funny are themselves partly genetic things like extroversion, emotional sensitivity (being able to read the room), processing speed (for quick comebacks), and creativity (making abstract connections between seemingly unrelated things). So the advice people give of “just make them laugh,bro” can feel a bit doomed. Sure, you can definitely get funnier if you wor…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 05:02 PM
1

Ok why are they bad? Where does that badness come from cause she had a choice right so what's the issue?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 09:29 PM
3

Let me ask you this, let's say you have a friend that told you he slept with a girl after repeatedly asking her in a situation where they are isolated and she has said no multiple times. What would you think of your friend in this situation because with what you have stated he should still be a stand up guy with no issue right?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 09:19 PM
1

Well suck it or lose your balls what's not a choice about that? I'm being sarcastic but my point is you intutively understand the logic here because I can say to you well it's still technically a choice right the same logic you are applying in your brain in the this situation will apply to a lesser extent to a man who pressures a women by asking her repeatedly to have sex
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 09:14 PM
2

Why is choice removed just let him shoot your balls or suck it no, it's a choice right?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 08:45 PM
5

It's to do with consent, we presume an impaired abiltiy to consent to things if coercion is involved like for example could I call you gay if the supposed gay shit you did was a guy came upto you and said I will shoot your dick off if you don't suck mine? Probably not right we recognise in this example you couldn't give full consent as there were consequences heavily loading your decision. You understand this intuitively already thats what the bad feeling is like if your friend told you bro im s…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 08:19 PM
1

Based take, I agree most men probably do want the upsides without the downsides might be a good post to make were you ask men if they would take the upside of having the availability of sex that women have with the downside or stay the same. Curious what the answers would look like
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 07:58 PM
1

This dude is right your definely lesbo or bi lol. No problem in that of course and I would agree that women probably are more fluid then men are but ultimately if you would sleep with a women in an capacity you're at least bi cause speaking anecdotally I can tell you I know women that would never sleep with women and are repulsed by vagina
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 07:45 PM
1

I can see where your head is at with this idea, but most people will find it weird largely due to deeply ingrained sex-negative attitudes and traditionalist beliefs about how men and women are supposed to interact romantically and sexually. In many cultures, there's an implicit expectation that men should "take" sex while women "give it up." Within this framework, even something as simple as a man asking for a kiss can feel out of place because he's expected to instinctively read the situation a…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 03:19 PM
0

It seems you agree with op in that you shouldn't pay because if she likes you, she won't expect you to.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/25 04:03 AM
1

I agree with OP. As a man, even if you're not having the best experience online, it's still fair to acknowledge how useful dating apps can be. Personally, I wouldn’t want to meet a wife or girlfriend any other way because, for me, the biggest advantage is the ability to filter. For example, I value education, so I can filter for people with a master’s degree or higher. I prefer taller women, so I set my preference to 5'9" and up. If I’m only looking for something serious, I can filter for that t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/25 11:22 PM
6

I hear what you're saying, and I think this is a great discussion, but let’s be real most men are the ones paying and planning. That’s just the reality. And as long as that remains the case, men will continue to struggle to see the real benefit of being viewed as "husband material." I don’t mean to be crude, but from a purely objective standpoint, a man considered husband material is typically the one planning the dates, paying for them, leading or initiating most interactions, etc. And he does …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 06:54 AM
7

I think the point of your post will be difficult for most men to grasp because, in addition to the perceived increase in effort, there is also a financial cost. What you're saying would be more accurate in a world where women didn’t generally expect men (especially those they don’t find that attractive or neutral as you put it) to pay just for the chance to see them. In a scenario where men and women simply meet up and hang out with no expectation that one party pay a fee for the other parties t…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 06:19 AM
1

This rebuttal comes from a misunderstanding of why I'm saying not to spend money, I'm not saying not to spend money as a strategy to save money but more so to ensure while your dating the women specifically her only interest is you and nothing else.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 04:01 AM
1

I mean i guess, but I don't see how this presents an issue with me saying to spend no money on women that you are dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 03:57 AM
1

Sorry just realised the last response i sent you wasn't meant to go to you lol. To your point you made spending money on your self is not investment? Can you explain that to me?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 03:41 AM
1

1) If paying is a "gesture of appreciation," why isn’t a woman offering sex ever framed as the same? If a man expected a woman to sleep with him as a gesture of appreciation for his investment, that would immediately be called transactional and problematic. But if women expect financial investment, that’s just traditional courtship? The logic is inconsistent. 2) You claim that expecting sex after paying reduces intimacy to a transaction, but isn’t expecting financial investment in exchange for p…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 03:21 AM
1

How? I mean your not spending on the girl
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/25 03:00 AM
1

What is this if not a drawn-out form of prostitution? A man consistently pays your fee, and as long as he continues to do so while also performing other expected duties like protecting you—you may grant him sexual access and even children. If it’s not outright prostitution, then at the very least, it resembles a kink where women try to replicate a father-child dynamic. I don’t judge kinks, but there’s no denying that this setup is unusual. When I mentioned that expectations increase, I was refer…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 11:43 PM
1

You said it yourself he needs to reimburse you just for meeting. As a woman, your mere presence is considered sufficient, while the “lowly” man must pay. This is essentially a drawn-out form of prostitution, and I don’t understand how men can willingly date women who hold this mindset. You claim that men must prove their worth to women but what about women? Is their value automatically established before even meeting? The only way this logic makes sense is if you believe a woman’s value is inher…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 10:42 PM
1

This is kind of true but not really. Across class, race, culture and even time we observe difference in what is considered attractive but regardless even if i assume what you say is true then all that person can do is improve themselves or accept that the reality of there dating life is gonna be one in which you have to jester for each and every women you interact with. That's the hand they have been dealt.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 10:01 PM
1

What I was trying to say previously is if you are both putting effort to plan and pay for the date high efforts dates are more acceptable but the starting ones in my opinion should definitely be more simple. But say after x number of dates you want to go eat a place or whatever go I just don't agree with the whole the guy plans everything and then pays and all the women does is be present. Does that answer your question?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 08:46 PM
2

What's the contradiction?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 08:43 PM
2

Probably not but you asked me what I personally thought of "extra effort"
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 08:29 PM
1

I'm not for paying out of pocket if it's not reciprocated so if you go on a date he pays then you get the next one that's effectively you paying for each other which I support, paying for each of your own stuff is also fine just not what is traditionally pushed of just paying what is effectively a reimbursement for the women while all she does is provide her presence.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 08:27 PM
3

I would say that paying for a date is overextending at least paying on the first few dates or if the womenshows no sign of wanting to reciprocate. The fact that you don’t find spending money on a stranger somewhat strange shows how deeply ingrained this expectation is even for a woman who says she generally doesn’t expect men to pay. I can tell from your perspective that you’re a Westerner, because in some countries, men never pay for dates, and that’s considered completely normal. Here’s why I …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:29 PM
-1

Going back and forth when it comes to paying is fine. My core point is simply this: don’t provide value when it’s not being reciprocated you’re better off accepting that the woman just doesn’t like you. Regarding your point about texting and other efforts, I’m not saying men shouldn’t do those things. My point is that the more she expects from you especially if she isn’t reciprocating beyond simply being present the less likely she actually likes you. If a woman is showing genuine high interest …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:35 PM
4

Yeah, my point is that I don’t want any extra effort. Over the course of a relationship, I might see someone at their absolute best maybe 10–20% of the time (just a rough estimate, but you get my point). Most of the time, I’m going to see their average, everyday self so I’d much rather women come to a date dressed the way they typically do when they go out, rather than putting together some special makeup look just to impress me. I don’t care for that. Think of it like advertising. Imagine if ad…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:16 PM
1

Yes, given the current dating dynamic, the reverse logic also holds true. Most men who truly like a woman will pay (though I personally don’t subscribe to this). Similarly, women who genuinely like a man tend to have lower expectations for him to pay. This creates a fundamental conflict of interest between men and women in dating. When one party (mostly men) is expected to cover the cost, it introduces the potential for manipulation, feelings of being used, or losing out in the exchange for both…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:30 PM
3

You are Based. Apparently I'm love pilled. Here is a heart you beautiful specimen ❤️
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:02 PM
2

I agree that it’s a valid strategy if you’re okay with consistently having to over deliver in terms of value add you bring to the relationship (asusming you even get into one) in most of your interactions with women. In that case, sure—it can work as a strategy. However, my main point is that if your goal is to maximize how much a woman likes you, rather than just being in the presence of an attractive woman, then paying isn’t an effective strategy. That said, I also think the expectation that m…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:00 PM
2

Fair enough, if you genuinely apply this expectation to all men equally, then at least you're being consistent. I would still argue that it's a sexist and unfair standard, but consistency is better than hypocrisy. So, just to clarify would you hold the same expectation even for your celebrity crush? Would you still require him to pay before you’d consider dating or sleeping with him?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:54 PM
8

Men also have beauty standards they need to adhere to. I’m sure you don’t date just any guy—you likely have preferences when it comes to looks, just like men do. Your point would make more sense if it were about an expectation placed only on women. But beauty standards apply to both genders. Meanwhile, something like the expectation for men to always pay or make the first move is a uniquely male burden in dating. If we’re talking about physical appearance, I could just as easily bring up young m…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:29 PM
2

My bad, idea was just trying to confirm we dont have any disagreement cause you're consistent it seems. I didn't mean to make it sound like I'm an authority
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:22 PM
2

If I’m going on a date, I’ll get my hair done, maybe buy a nice outfit… my prep will usually cost more than the date, so I expect some treating." This logic isn’t far from what so-called "nice guys" say when they argue, "I treated her well and paid for every date, so why won’t she sleep with me?" The key issue here is that doing something the other person didn’t ask for doesn’t create an obligation. When you do your makeup or dress up, you’re primarily doing it for your own confidence and self-p…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:20 PM
3

What do you mean women have to do this how and where?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 03:57 PM
2

Fair enough if it is indeed the case that every time across all your relationships when you asked out or they asked you the party asking has paid for the entire event, then fair game you're consistent. I see no major issue with what you said then.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 03:54 PM
1

My main thing is this: Do you hold this same standard consistently across all domains such as your family,friends, colleagues, etc? Every time they or you asked one another out of the party asking paid, if you can honestly answer yes, then fair enough. I see no issue with what you said. At least you're consistent.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 03:51 PM
2

I agree, be more selective. But how does requiring a man to pay for a date serve as an effective screening method when most men, including the very ones you’d probably prefer to avoid, are willing to do it? Also, I never mentioned one-night stands; my point applies to dating for relationships as well. You can’t be against the objectification of women while still endorsing ideas like “giving up” sex to men or insisting that “the man has to pay.” On the surface, these ideas might seem beneficial t…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 03:47 PM
1

Do you hold the standard elsewhere in your life? Every time you ask your friends out, you pay or vice versa? You ask a family member out you pay every time or vice versa? You ask a work colleague out you pay every time or vice versa? My guess is that there has been multiple occasions in your life where you have gone out with your friends where they asked you out and you still paid for yourself but for men all of sudden it's different. If you can honestly tell me every single time you have gone o…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 03:36 PM
8

So, you've essentially conceded that you charge men you're not really interested in as a form of reimbursement for your time. That, to me, is a much sadder reality than being single ever could be. Then again, I’m not lonely or desperate. If, starting today, no woman were attracted to me unless I reimbursed her for her time or, as you put it, had to invest overwhelmingly upfront just to be considered worth spending time with, I’d be perfectly fine staying single for the rest of my life. I have co…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 03:29 PM
3

Do you feel insulted if you friends ask you out and you pay for yourself or do you have this same expectation with everyone else in your life where you are invited you assume automatically they will front the cost?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 03:16 PM
1

This phrasing reflects a broader issue where women feel they need to be paid for, often without realising how their language contributes to the commodification of their bodies and womanhood. Phrases like "give it up" reinforce the idea that sex is something men take from women, as if women lose something by having sex. In reality, sex is a mutual act between two consenting individuals, yet the way it’s framed often implies an imbalance where men gain and women lose. This perspective is further r…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 03:13 PM
1

You're making it seem like I said to put in no effort. I just said don't stress over paying and planning the date everything else is fair game. If you dropped the ball when it comes to charming the lady, that's on you. My main point is that you don’t need to reimburse a woman just for spending time together. I never said that when she’s attracted to you, you don’t need to charm her, I just meant you shouldn't waste time investing in women who show low interest, and that paying and planning for a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 02:58 PM
2

I'm going to make a point, but depending on how you answer might be no reason to make the point
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 08:39 AM
2

What do you think about the beauty standard as a concept?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 08:31 AM
6

No not really, if I could direct what women wear while on a date with me I'd want them as plain as possible completely bare faced wearing clothes they don't mind getting dirty
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 08:19 AM
3

The beach, park, picnic, library, cooking at eachothers house etc
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 08:15 AM
3

Don't look at could, look at the results and if she is leaving you on read and doing all this other stuff at least to her knowledge of how you look like given the presentation of your account she simply isn't digging it you feel me. Because I promise you if she was she wouldn't do that. But I do understand that you may have a terrible account that prevents you from meeting women and finding out if she could like you in real life but again the results are what matter if you aren't converting wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:56 AM
3

When I was speaking of the difference in expectation, I was speaking broadly that this could be an issue, not you specifically. Apart from that, I don't really disagree with much here.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:47 AM
2

So let's say you knew 100% that money was not an issue and he still doesn't pay then what? Also I'm not refuting that paying for dates is not the path of least resistance but generally being attracted to eachother physically and also conversationally is enough anything more than that sure might add a little flair but even then the point still stands that you were already attracted to him anyways and it would of likely reached the same result had he toned this way down.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:43 AM
4

I would say even if you have the means you should not pay for dates but to each there own.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:38 AM
0

I'm not saying to avoid texting. Just don't pay for the date and don't strees out planning it everything else is fair game in my back
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:36 AM
3

Even using your analogy, image playing poker where you invested nothing and still have the possibility of getting a favourable outcome, it quite literally cost you nothing whereas everyone else had to pay to play.so in my version the downside is 0 and the upside is infinite. I like my odds better
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:34 AM
5

It applies to everything, online and in person. When she leaves you on read for 2 days or ignores a phone call etc don't get mad or resentful just ask yourself would she do this if I was her dream man that answer will almost always be no unless she has given you a solid reason then you just let her go back into the wild and go to the next one
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:30 AM
7

It most often is, women rarely go to dates with any disillusionment on if the guy is actually attracted to them whereas a guy especially one who pays for dates do they need to consider if she is just there for the meal, the event etc stuff you wouldn't need to worry about if you didn't pay at all
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:26 AM
1

What else is he beyond his presence? To clarify by his presence i meant who he is as a person. Yh your a women so at least currently from your perspective you benefit from the sexism inherent to the whole concept of "men need to provide" hence why I don't blame women. If I was one, i would probably take advantage too. But there are issues for women too when only men are expected to pay ( i have mentioned in other comments above). Me personally I don't want to date someoneone who postures themsel…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:24 AM
11

This might come across as sarcastic over text, but genuinely thank you for admitting that by expecting men to pay, you’re positioning yourself as the more valuable party, where your time is so valuable it requires reimbursement. Many women wouldn’t openly acknowledge that. That said, this highlights a bigger issue with men paying to spend time with essentially random women. I think the men here should read your comment carefully it reveals what’s really going on in some women’s minds. If they be…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 07:09 AM
4

This is a much more reasonable perspective and gets to the core of why expecting men to pay can be a bad idea not just for men, but for women as well. This dynamic creates a winner-takes-all scenario, where the woman wins if the guy pays while she does nothing, and vice versa. Placing the responsibility of paying solely on one party creates entitlement and resentment when expectations aren’t met. It sets the stage for people feeling shortchanged whether it's a man feeling like he wasted his reso…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:48 AM
7

Then there is a guy she liked from the start who does none of this and still achieved whatever end goal you are trying to achieve at a fraction of the cost.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:42 AM
5

So, do you fundamentally agree that every time you expect a guy to pay, you’re essentially saying, “My time is more valuable than yours, so you should compensate me for meeting you otherwise, I’m not interested”? Also, to clarify, as a woman, it’s in your best financial interest to benefit from the ingrained expectation that men provide free meals, gifts, etc. If I were a woman, I’d probably take advantage of that too. But my point still stands: if a woman truly likes a guy, sure, some might sti…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:38 AM
9

Personally, I think women should put little to no extra effort into their appearance for a date at least nothing beyond how they’d typically present themselves 80% of the time in a relationship. Ideally, I don’t want to see a woman at her absolute best; I want to see her everyday self, because that’s what I’ll actually experience in a relationship most the time. As for financial status being part of who you are, I disagree. The skills and traits you develop to achieve financial success like disc…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:28 AM
8

Maybe you’re the exception, but for most women, there’s a man they wouldn’t have this expectation for. As long as such a man exists, it means that every other man you impose this on is essentially negotiating conceding that, based on your standards, his time and presence are less valuable than yours, to the point where you expect reimbursement for spending time with him. Personally, I wouldn’t want to date a woman who thinks that way. But I understand why women have this standard because men all…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:17 AM
5

Read carefully, I said to treat attraction as non-negotiable. But to answer your question, yes, in general, you’re at a disadvantage. The only relationships someone like this will have are ones where they have to put in overwhelming effort whether by spending money, constantly entertaining women, or otherwise trying to win them over. Their romantic life will always feel like a struggle for scraps unless they are gifted with some insane inhuman charisma or become rich and famous. Even then, the a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:12 AM
6

See your last sentence ultimately agreed with me anyways. Also, money doesn't have to be associated with effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:06 AM
5

This is another reason men shouldn’t pay, it can build resentment, create unrealistic expectations for the woman (often to put out), and set up a dynamic where there are perceived winners and losers. In this frame, a man who pays but gets nothing in return feels like he’s losing, while a woman who is treated but doesn’t reciprocate is seen as winning. This generally sucks for everybody compared to if people just go out with who they find attractive and compatible and just vibe together with no e…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 06:02 AM
5

Does effort only count when money is being spent? You can have a great time together with a walk on the beach or in a nice park, doing fun activities that don’t cost anything or take much effort to plan. Also, paying for a woman’s meal shouldn’t be a connection point at all, maybe once you’re committed, but not in the beginning. My advice to men is to focus on building connections based on who they are as individuals, rather than what they can provide at least until they are committed to the wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:56 AM
7

What you said doesn’t contradict my point. I agree that relationships are transactional, but good relationships are mutually so. In the beginning, the only thing that should be exchanged is time and presence not money or material things that can obscure whether you actually like each other. Once you're in a relationship, financial stability can play a role, but only after you've established that she likes you for who you are. At that point, giving more will be meaningful because you know she alr…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:49 AM
5

Then how exactly does that conflict with my post? These men can desire all they want and act out of desperation just don't be surprised if you get poor outcomes. If anything, this reinforces my point.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:38 AM
6

I’m not suggesting that women have some algorithm for deciding when to have sex. I’m simply saying don’t waste time trying to negotiate attraction by chasing them or spending money to win them over. If they were genuinely attracted to you physically, conversationally, etc they wouldn’t need or expect much effort to connect with you naturally.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:33 AM
7

Why would I need to explain that to a woman? When women expect men to pay for dates, I don’t assume it’s because they have money issues, even though they’re often not paying. I’ve done what I'm describing before and it works out great. When I say it doesn’t create interest, I mean that if you’re already attracted to him, you likely would’ve liked him even without the extra effort. So why go overboard when the outcome would be the same once you already find him attractive anyways? Unless your tel…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:26 AM
11

Even if it does create some attraction, the best way to know if a woman genuinely likes you for who you are is to give her nothing but yourself and see if she’s still happy. If she isn’t, you have your answer. If she is, you’re more likely to end up in a relationship where she genuinely enjoys spending time with you and even gives to you, rather than the other way around. And of course, if you’re a good partner, you’ll naturally return the favor.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:19 AM
6

Of course, there are exceptions, and maybe you’re one of them. But generally, even women who claim they need men to pay will make exceptions for the right man. If she’s placing that expectation on you, it likely means she doesn’t like you that much, that’s my point.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:13 AM
-3

So what? Again, what I said still applies. If you feel such desperation, you have greater issues you need to resolve, and getting women should not really be your main priority.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:05 AM
6

Going to the beach, the park, going for walk etc the great outdoors my friend, generally doesn't cost you a dime or you can go out to a place and just pay separately like you would with you friends probably
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:03 AM
7

If you’re so desperate for female validation or sexual access that it can even be compared to being stranded in a desert, then you have deeper underlying issues—likely loneliness, low self-esteem, or a lack of fulfillment. Even if you were to get women, those issues wouldn’t be resolved. You should focus on addressing them first, and my point will still stand afterward anyways.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 05:01 AM
8

Yes, I’d suggest addressing these things before stepping into the dating world. If you’re a grown man who lacks control over your lust, doesn’t have a strong circle of friends and family to ease loneliness, or has no personal goals etc, then relationships and women should be the least of your concerns.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:58 AM
-6

You don’t need to be as attractive as a celebrity, that’s not the point. The point is, if she’s not treating you a certain way, it’s likely because she doesn’t find you that attractive. But even if you’re not conventionally attractive, there’s someone out there who sees you as their version of a celebrity. If that’s not this woman, you’re probably wasting your time. Sure, you can settle for whatever level of interest you get, but don’t complain if you end up in a relationship where you constantl…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:54 AM
3

I agree that even attractive guys can lose a woman's interest. But the key point is that if she’s unwilling to act a certain way for you, there’s likely someone she would. If that’s not you, you’re probably wasting your time or you can accept a relationship where you’re constantly fighting an uphill battle, trying to appease her beyond what you bring as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:48 AM
7

I don’t disagree, but I’d add that if a man subscribes to this dynamic where he essentially is paying in some way or another to compensate for a woman's lack of attraction he shouldn’t be surprised if she continues to expect more from him beyond just his presence to sustain any relationship that follows.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/02/25 04:44 AM
2

The best approach would be for all men to set their height as 5 foot or under and the taller you are, the lower you set your height.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/12/24 05:25 PM
3

Men are indeed in competition, and so are women. To deny that doesn't make sense. The height example was just one illustration, but generally, when men compare women, or women compare men, the comparison is not to themselves but relative to others within their respective gender. For example, when a man says he wants a woman with a fat ass, he doesn't mean it just has to be bigger than his own. He usually means in comparison to other women. Similarly, when a woman says she wants a tall man, she d…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 11:46 PM
3

Usually the comparison is in relation to other men not so much women that's why 6 foot is a desired height and not 5 foot 9
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 10:48 PM
6

Assuming the provider role in today's Western society requires more than an average man, making this suggestion unhelpful or unrealistic for many men.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/24 10:41 PM
3

They don’t have to be, brother. Be honest and take pride in knowing you don’t compromise your values, even if it means you attract fewer women because of it. Eventually, you’ll find a woman who can see past your occupation, and you’ll be grateful for all those who dismissed you for your job. Their rejection will have led you to someone who truly values you for who you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 04:32 PM
4

Like I said don't be so desperate that you compromise your values, it only proves those women that laughed at you right
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 04:26 PM
8

This is not true. My uncle is a teacher, even for young children, and he is currently in a consensual relationship with three women. They all live together.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 04:25 PM
9

Why interact with a woman you feel the need to lie to in order to impress? Don’t be so desperate that you compromise your values for someone else, brother. If anything, lying only validates any negative assumptions they might have about you because of your job. Someone who is proud and strong in their convictions would be honest. If they judge you for it, so be it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 04:21 PM
11

Why interact with a woman you feel the need to lie to in order to impress? Don’t be so desperate that you compromise your values for someone else, brother. If anything, lying only validates any negative assumptions they might have about you because of your job. Someone who is proud and strong in their convictions would be honest. If they judge you for it, so be it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 04:20 PM
3

Humans are not as sexually dimorphic as lions, which is why the differences between male and female lions are far more pronounced. Lions, like gorillas, experience intense sexual selection pressures, leading to greater dimorphism in size, appearance, and roles. In contrast, humans, especially in the modern era, experience much less pronounced sexual selection pressures, making comparisons to species like lions or gorillas less relevant. Additionally, it’s worth noting that women are often consid…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 03:57 PM
2

The best-case scenario is that even if you strip away all these external factors from women, they would still be equal to men in their ability to attract partners. However, historically, this has not been true. Even without makeup, most men died without ever reproducing, while I believed about 80% of women did. In fact, if you examine your entire bloodline, it’s likely composed of more women than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 03:40 PM
1

Look at the extent to which you had to reduce women’s attributes to argue they are less attractive. Why stop there? Why not say they’re unattractive if they couldn’t shower or brush their teeth? All of this is arbitrary. The definition of attractiveness means having qualities that compel others to be drawn to you, and there’s no question that women achieve this with greater ease and frequency than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 03:37 PM
-1

Women are more attractive then men though, that's the reality
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/24 03:28 PM
–

The dual mating strategy hypothesis has not been replicated in most recent studies. Even the originator of the hypothesis acknowledges that there is very little data supporting it. Here is an accessible article that references a 2022 paper in which the originator admits that the data does not support their original claims or findings: https://datepsychology.com/why-dual-mating-hypothesis-research-has-failed-to-replicate/
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/24 05:08 PM
5

And what about the man's responsibility? This is a mutual act that both parties engaged in. You might argue that the woman ultimately decides whether to carry the child to term, but that doesn’t negate the man's accountability. As a man, you enter the interaction knowing that the decision to carry a pregnancy to term ultimately rests with the woman. If you don’t take precautions and the outcome isn’t in your favor, it’s unfortunate—especially if you don’t want the child—but you knowingly took on…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 08:30 PM
1

I’m glad you’ve found a partner who doesn’t exhibit these characteristics. I’m not saying it’s solely women’s responsibility; rather, I’m suggesting what I believe to be the most logical set of actions: setting clear expectations, reaching an agreement, and reassessing if those expectations aren’t met. If someone fails repeatedly, you can address it further, reconsider the relationship, or try a different approach. Ultimately, the choice is yours. That said, I agree with a point I’ve made elsewh…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 05:42 PM
1

I don’t think women’s options are as limited as they’re sometimes made out to be. That said, I do believe people’s ability to vet potential partners could improve. Instead of externalizing control and blaming the general "state of men," why not take personal agency in the situation? For example, if you frequently encounter men who don’t meet basic standards like cleaning up after themselves or maintaining personal hygiene, isn’t that more likely a reflection of inadequate vetting rather than a c…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 04:46 PM
1

You're right that not everyone "rewards" men for sleeping around, and some women might view it negatively. However, society at large—both men and women—tends to grant men more social esteem for promiscuity than it does women. This double standard is deeply ingrained and reflects societal values around gender and sexuality. I agree that inexperienced men face disadvantages, and this mirrors how women are judged for being promiscuous but I don't see how this undermines my point. Regarding your "fu…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 04:31 PM
1

That’s a valid point. Being clear and precise in your communication can sometimes backfire, as your partner might take advantage of it. They might think, “I can do things I know are wrong and only change my behavior when she corrects me.” At that point, you’d likely need to move to option 3 so my main point still stands even in this case. However, I’d take it a step further and suggest that after choosing option 3, it’s important to spend time clarifying your baseline expectations for a partner—…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 01:26 PM
-4

I understand what you're saying, and I’ve heard this sentiment from many women—that they don’t want to feel like they’re parenting their partners. However, its a relationships because you’re two separate individuals with likely different mindsets. For example, everyone has their own threshold for cleanliness—the point at which they feel disgusted or compelled to clean. To him, the underwear on the floor might genuinely not register as untidy. As his partner, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 12:36 PM
-2

I partially agree with OP's perspective that nagging should generally be avoided, except in the case of children, where as a parent, you are legally and morally obligated to guide them. Regarding your example of the underwear, here’s how I’d suggest approaching the situation: When you notice the underwear on the floor, you address it directly by setting a clear and verbal expectation that this behavior shouldn’t continue. To understand the root cause, you ask why the underwear was left there in …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 11:20 AM
6

Do you understand the reasoning behind the laws regarding children and why they are structured the way they are?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 11:02 AM
1

What you’re saying doesn’t entirely make sense. Just because an act is selfless or good doesn’t mean you’re obligated to do it for everyone. For example, you’d probably agree that donating to charity or volunteering for a cause is good, but that doesn’t mean you do it all the time. That’s an instance where you recognize something as good but don’t always act on it. The same logic can apply to women and sex. The act of sex could be seen as selfless on their part, yet they don’t engage in it with …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 10:31 AM
1

I'm a man, by the way. On this sub, the odds of guessing correctly were in your favor.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 02:06 AM
0

The hypocrisy lies in the fact that men are praised for sleeping around, while women are judged harshly for the same behavior. If we accept the societal premise that a woman’s value decreases when she sleeps around, while a man’s value increases, it’s difficult to understand how a man who subscribes to this belief system can justify his own actions. If, as a man, you knowingly engage in casual sex with women without committing, you are contributing to the very dynamic that diminishes her societa…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 02:02 AM
2

I have a question: if it's genuinely the case that women are attracted to ambition, how would they feel about an ambitious cleaner? Imagine a cleaner who is deeply committed to becoming the best in the world at what he does—someone who is truly serious about his craft. Would these kinds of women find him attractive? Or consider another hypothetical scenario: a man who has a lot of money—let's say an enormous amount—but chooses to live a modest, ordinary life. Being with him wouldn't provide any …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/24 01:45 AM
6

Oh come on now, you seem like a reasonable person—don’t do the whole "social studies is not a science" just because the data doesn’t align with your perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 08:21 PM
9

I don’t disagree with most of your points. Regarding the hypocrisy around men being praised for sleeping with many women while women are criticized for the same, I agree—it is a hypocrisy. I would even call out any man I know who perpetuates it. That said, there is a practical difference between the two. As much as I hate to invoke the “red pill” perspective, it is undeniably more challenging for men to achieve that level of success compared to women. Society tends to respect what is rare and di…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 08:19 PM
4

This simply isn’t true. Numerous studies show that when comparing men’s and women’s stated preferences versus their observed behaviors, both genders are equally selective about looks. The idea that men prioritize looks while women prioritize personality is a myth. What may be true is that it’s more socially acceptable for men to openly admit they value looks, while women often express preferences for qualities like personality but behave differently in practice. Essentially, men are more likely …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 08:07 PM
5

But you would agree that women play a large part in upholding this current system yes?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 07:55 PM
5

What are all these opportunities you are referring to?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 07:53 PM
4

I’m not in denial—dating apps have become a major part of modern dating, and the reality is that they overwhelmingly don’t favor most men. This is supported by simple statistics. The issue likely isn’t just about men being jerks, especially since many men seem to succeed despite—or even because of—being jerks. In fact, being a jerk or apathetic proves to be a more effective dating strategy in some ways compared to being nice or empathetic, though, of course, I wouldn’t encourage that approach.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 07:53 PM
3

I don’t fundamentally disagree; you raise a valid point. However, I would add that even good people can be introverted, particularly around other introverts, which might prevent them from following the typical path of finding a girlfriend in high school or college. Additionally, someone can be a genuinely good person but lack strong social skills, which may prevent their goodness from coming through in new interactions—either because others don’t stick around long enough to see it or because the…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 07:47 PM
7

Choices are rarely made in isolation; they are often shaped by societal expectations and norms. One such factor I would pose is the expectation that men initiate intimate relationships. Women, accustomed to being approached, often avoid initiating because the process can be uncomfortable or daunting for most people. This reinforces an implied standard: women don’t approach because they anticipate being approached, and men, aware of this, take on the role of initiating. This cycle perpetuates its…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 07:37 PM
6

I agree I do think women try to avoid abusive behaviours in men, but I don't think that's the primary reason that men aren't getting into relationships. I don't believe there is a single study I can think of or look to were women report mostly rejecting a man that they went on a date with because he displayed abusive behaviour. Can you show me one?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 07:27 PM
8

Men being dateless comes down predominantly to looks and a poor ability to socialise, abuse has very little to do with anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 07:23 PM
8

Are you implying if they were truly good people they would be in a relationship by 25?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 07:20 PM
7

Are you insinuating that men who aren't able to get into relationships is typically due to abuse? I just want to clarify
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 07:19 PM
28

I would say women's standards are higher across the board for men than the other way round, especially during the initial phases of dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 07:14 PM
17

Women's standards is higher across the board for men than the other way round.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 07:14 PM
7

Here is one: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/357524195_Gender_Roles_in_Intimate_Relationships_Who_Initiates_and_Why
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 07:05 PM
1

Not true you can looksmax even with a shitty base it just depends to what lengths you are willing to go.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/24 08:12 PM
1

Interesting study. I’m not familiar with it, but I’ll engage in good faith and assume it suggests men and women judge promiscuity similarly. However, this study doesn’t directly address how virginity is perceived across genders, which is what the earlier discussion was about. Even if men and women are closer in their views on promiscuity, that doesn’t necessarily extend to virginity. One key difference is that men are often judged more harshly by other men for lacking sexual experience, while wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 12:31 PM
-2

Dead serious, how many decently attractive girls would you get if a lifetime amount of money was up for grabs? I would wager that 1) you would do much more than you are now 2) you wouldn't bitch as much when you get rejected and 3) you would probably just be more successful in general. This shows me that it is possible to succeed and get much better outcomes than you are now, unless you are telling me that even with the opportunity of winning say 10 million dollars you would still be as unsucces…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 06:47 AM
2

I mostly agree with this I just think that given two people one male, one female of the same or similar attractiveness to the opposite sex, virginity even in older age is far more brutal for a man. It's more often women not men that value a partner with past experiences as a lot of the traditional things that women find attractive in mind can only be gained with experience whereas the same is not as true for women a lot of the things found to be attractive in women may come as a direct result of…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 01:04 AM
0

You didn't try hard enough. If you actually wanna try you need to go to the point of where failure becomes damn near impossible for example if you spoke to and approached 20,000 different women or swiped right on 300,0000 different women (exaggerated for illustration) it becomes extremely unlikely that you won't find one that at the very least reasonably meets your standards and that likes you aswell. You can extend this with other areas of life if you suck at math and to fix it you did dedicate…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 12:37 AM
6

Correction they are disgusted by unattractive male virgins, i would bet that if a male were attractive and a virgin it may make him more attractive in a lot of women eyes. So you are misplacing the disgust.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 12:19 AM
7

I see where you are coming from but most men would love the idea of a women being a Virginia unless she was unattractive but then the issue is her being unattractive not so much the inexperience.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 12:15 AM
-1

Just because a women doesn't act according to how you want doesn't mean she doesn't like honesty. Women do like honesty, now what they do with that honesty is a different topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 12:12 AM
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