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Ok-Process-9795 Archive

View 0 posts and 441 comments by Ok-Process-9795 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

Well, they actually do have trouble forming relationships in general with the way they are socialized, but that's an example of bad faith right there that can hurt more than just incels. I'm a woman, and I don't want to die alone either. I have a lot of pets already. I could make more friends if I wanted that. I need to feel loved and sexually desirable. I have no illusions of thinking I wouldn't be miserable if my partner left me, and I never found someone else. I'm not going to pretend otherwi…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 02:59 AM
2

That's my point. That's its reductive and dismissive to say it's just guys wanting butt sex. Years ago, the first thing my partner did after I suggested opening our relationship is do the dishes for my friend who gave them head (I call it outsourcing blowjobs). "I did the dishes for Angie after cooking her dinner. She didn't even have to ask. You have to pick one, and you know I'm the only one who knows how to cook, so that means you're doing the dishes."
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 01:18 AM
6

To be fair, men aren't taught how to illicit others for sympathy. That's the point of crying, and that's the reason boys aren't allowed to cry. If you knew how to express your pain in any way other than rage and frustration, you would know the value of empathy. You would be more empathetic if you felt like other people empathize with you. Men are only able to go be soldiers, cops, or fill any other role that requires you to be ruthless and cruel by being emotionally mutilated from birth. Forcibl…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 01:07 AM
1

I know.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 12:46 AM
1

Right now, I'm accusing you of harassing me after me telling you that you remind me of my rapist. You are violating my consent. I clearly told you to leave me alone. I'm telling you again now. Stop talking to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 12:13 AM
3

Pretty much. They should date each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 11:27 PM
–

Sure. Yesterday, I was in an argument with a woman in this sub denying that loneliness has any significant impact on one's life expectancy. Clearly, that's nonsense. It's documented fact. Most people are too isolated already according to mental health experts, and these guys are clearly more isolated than the average person. They are literally dying from being alone. Like a ferret or bunny. This turned into her saying we can't know for sure that these guys are actually depressed from isolation a…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 10:59 PM
30

I didn't realize how much people come here just to gasslight and antagonize guys who are clearly having mental health problems. Don't get me wrong, most of what I see is some really fucking toxic and hateful shit from men, but that's a loud minority. I expect that. I didn't expect to keep getting into arguments with other women on my side just because I don't feel comfortable dehumanizing every guy with fucked up ideas who come here willing to have a dialog. The way I see it, most of the guys he…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 05:54 PM
1

Ooo, you're going to call me names because you're mad that you lost an argument. This whole conversation has been you saying that men only like butt sex because women don't want to do it, and that the women who do want to do it are too uncommon to matter. Sealioning me won't change that fact, and neither will throwing a tantrum or flinging feces.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 05:34 PM
1

I already did. It's in your comments. I can't help you, and it's not my job. Find a professional.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 04:52 PM
1

Good luck with being a sociopath. Most therapists won't even try to help you.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 02:44 PM
2

Then we can agree to disagree about you being full of shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 06:39 AM
2

Why can't you argue in good faith? The evidence is your own comments on this thread. There you go. You're welcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 06:27 AM
2

I don't owe you shit. You have been arguing in bad faith this whole time. You repeatedly argued butt sex is between a man and a woman who has been naged into it. That the exception is insignificant. You can read your own bull shit yourself. You typed it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 05:49 AM
2

Again, you're changing the subject to a meta argument and being obtuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 05:24 AM
2

You didn't. You said that when men ask for anal, it's nagging. You know what you said. Go reread it. I don't know how to do the thing where you clip out part of what someone said with the lateral line on the left to show its a quote. If you were confident in your position, you wouldn't depend on being obtuse and changing the subject to a meta argument about the argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 05:16 AM
1

Again, that's really reductive and dehumanizing. I'm not a pick me for recognizing that the people I speak to online are infact people. You're side stepping the real issue. You are trying to drive people to suicide by gaslighting the mentally ill. You can rationalize it all you want, but not everyone who is miserable from being lonely is an incel, and not every incel is Eliot Rodgers.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 05:12 AM
1

That's incredibly reductive and dehumanizing. Are you seriously here to gaslight people you know are suicidal?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 04:27 AM
2

You did though. And he didn't say you should nag someone for anal. He's saying that some people won't do for you what they did for others because they don't value you as much. That's true. You made it about nagging for butt sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 12:34 AM
2

Sometimes guys ask for sex without nagging. Some women say yes the first time enthusiastically. I'm sorry you didn't already know that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 12:01 AM
1

Common sense. Deductive reasoning. Basic human empathy. Having met incels in real life. Do you want to bet against the sun rising smart ass?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 11:46 PM
2

Did I say they were valid reasons to get someone to do something they don't want to do, or did I say they are valid things to want? Did you not read anything I said? I cheated on my partner and still won't do for them what I did for other people, after only telling them about it just to make them jealous. All to make the same point you're making. I get it. That's not what I'm arguing with you about. I'm arguing against you saying women don't like butt sex, and men only like it because they know …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 11:40 PM
2

What are you talking about?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 11:30 PM
4

They are not all on death's door right now, but I seriously doubt you don't think they are under an unhealthy amount of stress from loneliness. It's a commonly accepted to be a problem at large by the mental health community, and these guys are definitely more isolated than the average person. Be honest. You know a lot of the guys on this sub are going to do something to get themselves killed to cope with the depression and anxiety. Many will on purpose. I just don't buy it that you don't know t…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 11:01 PM
2

It's not that different. A lot of people who spend their entire lives alone don't live that long in the first place. There is no dying of a broken heart. It's stress. Your body can't tell one form of stress from another. There is no arbiter judging if this miserable person is suffering for wholesome reasons, and this other miserable person is just a loser. If being alone is stressful, it will tax every anatomical system in your body until you die from something like the flu because you have no w…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 10:41 PM
1

This is why good self-talk is so important. You're doing more harm to other women who look like you than you are to men as some sort of homogeneous demonic blob. You sound like an incel talking about women. There is no "male nature." For one, the very idea let's them off of the hook for behavior that is perfectly within their ability to control. Secondly, it's dehumanizing to them and us. Men and women are both compelled to perform unnatural gender roles that limit the way our instictics and emo…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 10:17 PM
2

Where you go neener neener, I did butt stuff with everyone else and I won't with you? I don't do some stuff with my partner that I dud with other partners. Part of why is because they're so bitter about it. I get it. That's not what I'm arguing with you about. You keep claiming that men only want to do butt stuff because women don't like it. Conflating the desire to feel special and to do the forbidden, with a desire to violate the wishes of ones partner. That was a foolish thing for you to clai…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 08:34 PM
2

You said that basically the only way it happens and the only reason men want it. You're moving the goal post.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 07:35 PM
–

Feminist are not the monolith people on here like to make us out to be either. There are many different schools of thought, and cherry picking examples to fit an argument is a common tactic used against us. Women are pickier because we are sexually repressed. We're shamed for our sexual desires in the same way men are shamed for having normal human emotions. I honestly don't see how you can miss this. Just like men often feel superior for not crying when you need to and getting agitated when we …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 07:25 PM
1

You sound pretty mean. Women who look like her seeing you use them to insult some guy wouldn't appreciate this. Hell, she could see this.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 07:08 PM
8

People do die from loneliness. It's a significant factor in morale. Just ask anyone who has work with retired people. Especially seniors who lose a partner. A lot of people will die right after their SO passed away. Being alone dramatically cuts into life expectancy.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 06:54 PM
1

Guys are conditioned not to cry from an early age. You spend your whole life hiding any weakness. So when a guy says he hates his wife, he doesn't sound like an abuse victim. He sounds like an asshole. It's assumed he hates her for reasons he would hate aby women because it sounds like he thinks all women are like her. Abuse victims tend to think abuse is normal on some level. You develop this delusion that all women/men would abuse me like my wife/husband does. You notice the subtle ways societ…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 06:48 PM
1

It could be bjs, dressing sexy, forplay. It might not be sex. Sex isn't special. I don't have to consent to any of the other things either, even if I did then for everyone else. Even if it's just because I don't think my current partner deserves to feel special enough to be worth the effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 06:19 PM
2

Why do you think those are bad reasons? I like making my partners feel special, but that's just me. Some people are selfish lovers. That's your right. It's not your right to determine that no one should want that. You shaming people right now is enforcing the taboo. Men shouldn't assume that it's wrong to even ask to do butt stuff just because you choose to have a huge stick up yours already. They wouldn't feel like it's a forbidden thing they are getting away with if purdes didn't go around ins…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 05:39 PM
2

Saying that wanting to do something because it's special and forbidden is. Not everyone is boring. Not even all women. I don't know why you think only men want sex to be fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 05:24 PM
2

No, because that would imply you are sex positive. I didn't insult you any more than you insulted me, and anyone else who isn't ashamed of wanting more than the most basic of vanilla sex lives. You push the same puritanical misery as a Southern Baptist telling Sunday school students they're going to hell for having dirty thoughts. Don't flatter yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 05:15 PM
–

I doubt you enjoy any sort of sex
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 05:07 PM
3

Why is it that the people who support eugenics are always the kind of people who make humanity look like a disease? I don't want a bunch of cold-blooded, egotistical, yuppies to be the only people in the human gene pool. That's bad animal husbandry. Humans have too little genetic diversity already as it is compared to other creatures. A world of inbred Patrick Batemans would be wiped out by a particularly bad flu season.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 04:52 PM
3

Because not everyone is the majority. Not all majorities are that significant. 51% is a majority. They still don't get to be the main character in life. I don't know how many men and women you asked, or how you asked, but I bet most of the men who like it think it feels good. Also, what's wrong with wanting to feel special? I like feeling special. I post nudes online because I enjoy the thrill of doing the forbidden and being told how special I am for it. That's for me. I think about it when I'm…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 04:46 PM
4

That's very cishetetonomitive. I'm not into anal, but I'm not so closed-minded that I think no one enjoys receiving it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 04:33 PM
3

I have told my partner about things I've done with others that I don't do with them just to make them jealous. I know that's fucked up. It's fucked up my relationship, but I'm sure I'm not the only one who has done it. The first thing they did when I suggested an open relationship is get head from my best friend, and then do her dishes. They still talk about how they used to enthusiastically do her dishes without being asked all of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 04:30 PM
1

Rape is also just really hard to prove. Sexual assalt in general is normally a matter of he said, she said. Every time it happened to me, no one believed me, or they rationalized it away. It's my word against theirs. I'm sorry you were falsely accused. No one should have to go through that. Even if there are no legal or social consequences soke how, it still must impact your self-image and relationship with sexuality.
/r/MensRights22/12/23 09:48 PM
–

Well, whoever did is probably a pretty misery person regardless of their relationship status.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 10:34 PM
–

That's a pretty cishetetonomitive perspective. You're going off of averages. The average woman is with the average man. Preferring nothing over being with the average guy isn't the same thing as preferring to be alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/23 10:25 PM
1

WAP is a jam, and I don't think you know what male gaze means. You're basically getting mad at me for enjoying a game I'm being forced to play.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/23 12:53 AM
2

Right? I am not working all day for fun. I'm selling away hours of my life that I will never get back, mostly just so I have a place to sleep when I'm not at work. That's desperation.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 04:39 AM
1

I'm shocked they didn't start you on it when you lost your testicle. So many people treat that sort of thing as petty and superficial. It should be malpractice that no one hooked you up right away. I think what you need is a patch, like in that King of the Hill episode where Peggy is putting hormones in Hank's food.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 04:26 AM
2

Good on you. When I found out how much an ex classmate was making as an escort, it really made me question my life choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 04:23 AM
2

Right. It will be like legal weed.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 04:21 AM
1

I'm not a doctor, but it stands to reason. Most of your load is produced in other glands. The testicle just produces sperm and testosterone. Testosterone the other glands in your body need more of.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 04:20 AM
3

We all sell ourselves under capitalism. Your job is no less dignified or productive than the work the vast majority of other people do.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 03:56 AM
1

Oh shit. Are you getting hormone therapy? You should be getting replacement testosterone. That's a serious quality of life issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 03:49 AM
4

Sex isn't the only thing a woman offers in a relationship. You can't pay a sex worker to love you. Also, not all men can afford to pay a sex worker every time he wants sex. Sex workers are expensive. They will be much more expensive when they have unions and health insurance. I'm all for legalizing sex work, but this isn't going to be the game changer you think it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 01:39 AM
8

That sounds like a really 90s, sex negative attitude. FDS aren't feminist. Most sex workers are women. Most women supporting sex workers are feminist. If anyone complaining that sex work isn't consensual because sex for profit is coercion, they are basically saying that all labor under a market economy is slavery. Just like if they really cared about human trafficking in the sex work industry, they would want it decriminalized and regulated instead of arresting the women the women they claim to …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 01:36 AM
10

Most people for the legalization of sex work are women. Most sex workers are women. Do you seriously think that there isn't a significant population of women who want a job done mostly by women to be safer and more legitimized?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/23 01:24 AM
–

How often do you mastebate? Even when you get older, your body still adapts to producing more when you put more demand on it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 09:39 PM
3

It doesn't just make you look sympathetic, though. It makes you look like someone I need to be careful not to upset. Especially if you're bringing it up soon after I meet you.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 09:00 PM
1

We're not making it more complicated. We're recognizing existing complications. These are clearly obvious traditional trends that impacts all of us to one degree or another. It only serves the comfortable to limit our ability to identify and talk about these patterns we are all involuntarily pushed into.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 03:09 AM
1

Look, things are complicated. There are many over lapping systems of oppression. They don't need to be official institutions like the military, or self identified capitalist. Just like capitalism or the military only have the authority we give them, so do traditional power structures. Men are held to impossible expectations because we are all culturally indoctrinated through tradition to police men into being "real men". Men and women contribute to patriarchy. Think of a mother telling her son b…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 02:54 AM
1

Patriarchy doesn't exist for the sake of some elite top 20% of men. It exist to establish a hierarchy with an imaginary entity at its apex. Everyone is oppressed, some are just more oppressed than others. If it helps, apply the same logic to a different system of oppression, like white supremacy. Irish people are white, but they are still oppressed by English people. English people are also oppressed by English people. Just ask any English person who hates the monarchy. Or a member of the monarc…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/23 12:42 AM
1

Things are getting better now. We had sex last night, and that's twice in three days. The thing about patriarchy is that it serves the ideal of men, not the reality of men. The ideal man doesn't need sympathy or compassion. Everyone is conditioned to think men should embody this idealized archetype, and all men are judged by their degree of failure.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/23 11:32 PM
1

Society is still recovering from millenia of theocracy. Cults tell people who they can have sex with and why because if you can control that, you can control anything. You should learn about the guy who started Kelloggs. He basically started a health cult obsessed with chastity. It was so powerful that it's the primary reason Amarican men are circumcised. It makes your penis less sensitive to pleasure and gives you early life sexual trauma. As for sexless relationships, no one is happier that wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/23 11:09 PM
2

It is controlling. That's not a reasonable "boundary". A reasonable boundary is that she can't force him to wear a bikini if that's not what he wants. He has no say in what she wears. You don't get to set boundaries for how other people live their lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/23 10:14 PM
1

Yeah. Good point.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/23 05:57 PM
1

Nah, we had been dating for over a decade at that point. They started working out for health reasons, and one of my friends was getting really flirty and affirming with them, so I gave my blessing. Hank Hill wore the same outfit as James Deen, and he was passable. The point is to work with what you have. Your goal is to be better, not perfect. You will be less tense when talking to women and just look better.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/23 12:31 AM
1

My partner did start talking care of their appearance, that's how they got a girlfriend outside of the ap. Dating apps are a scam. I'd agree that men's fashion is extremely limiting, but James Deen was known for being sexy in well fitting blue jeans with a plane white tee-shirt.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 11:37 PM
1

I think I tend to be a lot more sympathetic twords men than most women on this sub, and that has prepared you to infer malice where none is intended. I think that if boys don't have any male role models outside of their dads, you should ask what's stopping uncles and grandfathers from being there. That's exactly what I'm talking about. That's the other end of the problem of men self isolating. They are missed by their communities.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 11:30 PM
–

Show me. Not every woman who says something inflammatory about men is a feminist. If anything, the idea that girls mature faster just sounds like an excuse for grown men to fuck teenage girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 11:06 PM
1

Look, I'm just going off of medical facts. My partner was a caregiver, and this is what they teach in CNA training. If you know better, go teach. Also, you are blaming the victim just as much as I am. No one is drafted into dangerous jobs or the military in America. Men choose to do these things due to social pressures, just like they choose to lose touch with friends and family. If you want a solution to any of those problems, you have to ask what outside factors lead men to making these choice…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 10:53 PM
1

That sucks. I honestly can't imagine what it must be like. My partner tried using an app, and it seemed really brutal. We're in an open relationship, and neither of us has any experience outside of friends and acquaintances. Dating a stranger seems weird to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 09:35 PM
1

I think you're fixated on a specific kind of woman in specific kind of comtext. A lot of dating apps encourage this mindset. People get tired of it. There is no perfect man, and randomly meeting a different guy to get an ego boost and dick with no commitment is more work and risk than just settling down with a guy who will do those things on a regular basis if you can just deal with the inconveniences and compromise of being in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 09:18 PM
1

Most people want better in general. Most people think they deserve better. But if someone thought they could do better, they would do so. We settle for the best we can get. Just like everyone does in most things. Knowing not to make perfect the enemy of good is just basic maturity. If you can't identify what you want and also what you would be happy with instead, you will always want what you can't have, and you will never be happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 09:02 PM
1

You can jack off, too. You sound no different than women who call it cheating when men look at porn or Instagram models. Mastebating doesn't make you feel wanted. There is no bonding taking place. I can't make love to my vibrator. I'm not denying that women are conditioned to have a lot of sexual hang ups. I see how that sucks for you. It's not our idea. We don't choose to be sexually repressed, just like men don't choose to be emotionally repressed.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 08:56 PM
2

That just proves my point, who said I'm not sympathetic, and I'm clearly blaming our culture, not the victims of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 08:47 PM
1

Dude, just take care of your appearance and be affectionate. It's the same for you as it is for us. Shower. Wear cloths that flatter your body. Eat healthy. Walk more. Lift weights. My partner used to think the same way as you until they had to start working out for health reasons. Lo and behold, they look better now, and we have sex more. They stopped being fatalistic and accepted that they had some responsibility for why we were not having sex as much as we could be.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 08:44 PM
1

Attraction isn't a strict binary. Why do conservatives act like you can't comprehend the idea of a spectrum? Imagine a box full of sand where half is black and half is white. Now, shake it up a little. That is the real world where the rest of us live. It's all shades of gray. For one, men also have that same checklist of things they are expected to do to prove they are real adults. It's ridiculous to put that all on us. Secondly, most of us aren't going to settle for someone who doesn't meet the…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 05:51 PM
–

No, we don't. You just pulled that out of your ass. We are not naturally more mature. We are under more pressure to act mature.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 05:35 PM
1

For what?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 05:32 PM
1

How am I wrong?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 05:31 PM
1

What? Where did I say that? I was called a sex doll, a sex toy, and a litteral sex object in my DMs just yesterday.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 05:30 PM
1

Treating her like he loves her. Acting like he finds her sexy. A lot of guys take their spouse for granted once they're confident she won't leave. A lot of women stop wanting to have sex with their husbands because he doesn't flirt, or kiss her, or do anything romantic at all, or he actively insults her and talks about women he finds more attractive. When they do have sex, he treats her like a fleshlight.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 05:26 PM
1

Are you still in touch? He probably wanted consistent companionship eventually.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 05:16 PM
1

You sound like Beyonce. You have beautiful people problems like sexual objectification. Men do treat their wives differently if they lose attraction to them. Why do you think women are so insecure about our looks if you believe there are no stakes for us?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 06:35 AM
0

I don't do that to men. Or shoplift. I'm just saying that's not a gender specific thing. Men do that all of the time. Not all men, but enough that most women are paranoid that it will happen to them. It doesn't happen to me, but I can easily imagine it being a problem for most other women. Have you considered telling your wife that you feel unloved, unappreciated, undesirable? Use your fucking words if you don't like how she is treating you. If you're not in a relationship then you're getting ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 06:02 AM
-1

Guys do that exact same thing. That's like saying a lot of women shop lift. Sure. What of it? So do you. No one gets everything they want from their partner. If you can't accept that, you're going to make yourself and the people around you very miserable.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 05:47 AM
1

Bless your heart.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 01:21 AM
1

MRAs don't give a shit about you. It's a big grift. Feminist talk about issues impacting men all of the time. You just don't let anything sink in if it doesn't reinforce your existing worldview. If MRAs cared about you, they wouldn't tell you to double down on the traditional power structures that leave you isolated and emotionally stuthen. Anyone telling you to man up when you're depressed or any other standard manosphere bullshit is trying to get you hurt. They categorically do not care about …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/23 12:43 AM
1

I never see men here supporting each other. I've seen men here call themselves and guys like themselves low value. That's basically the same thing as calling them losers. This place is full of self hate, and you can't hate yourself with hating people with the same qualities that you hate about yourself. I live in Portland. This isn't a rural backwater where men are expected to be rugged individuals with no need to lean on each other. Men here still don't talk about their feelings with other men.…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 11:09 PM
0

Men are bad at solidarity in general. It requires vulnerability. You have to open up about something you feel vulnerable about with someone you can trust to have sympathy for you. Men arnt safe to do either of those things. To need sympathy is seen as weakness. To have sympathy is seen as weakness. Men see other men who are suffering as losers. If a man sees a man suffering in a way that he also suffers in, it just makes him feel like he's a loser too.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 10:55 PM
1

There is a lot of tribalism here. I'm glad I could help. You have to give this sub a brake sometimes. It's full of people just flat out gaslighting each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 10:41 PM
9

I've known guys who are only fetishized for their bodies and not wanted as a romantic partner, and I'd say it's even worse for them because they have no one to show them any solidarity. At least I can depend on other women to validate me. A guy in being objectified is just going to be laughed at. "Aww, poor baby! Women enthusiastically have sex with you and your sad because they don't want to stick around after letting you fuck them more in a few weeks than her husband ever will? Let me get the …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 10:38 PM
2

Not with that attitude. The alternative is to let things get worse. People don't just do right because it's the right thing to do without any expectation that you will also treat them with that same level of decency. We simply don't have the luxury of shrugging and saying that boys will be boys. If they have no expectation that they will be safe to have basic human emotions, the big scary primates won't let anyone else have that safety either. Another way to look at it is women and sex. Women ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 10:30 PM
4

Are you serious? Pretty much every ethnicity or body type of women. I've met a lot of guys who were obsessed with impregnating me because of the shape of my body and / or because I'm white and everyone would know I cheated. Guys treat me like a sex object all the time. I've been called a literal sex object. Just yesterday, actually. Asian women are fetishized all of the time. Trans women are. Fat women. Skinny women. Hispanic women. Really, put any word in front of women and Google it, and you'l…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 10:16 PM
–

I am insulting hypocritical people who are insulting you. A personal attack would require me to single out an individual, not a nebulous group of people who's only shard quality is that they like to lie to people like YOU about YOUR problems because they hate YOU and like that YOU are suffering.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 10:08 PM
2

That's not tough love. It's toxic masculinity. That's like saying the beatings will continue until morale improves. They really owe us nothing if we're not going to give them the same basic empathy we want from them. That's a losing battle. I don't want guys to get better at repressing their feelings. If for no other reason than because I know that the more they bottle up, the more they explode when it all comes out anyway. Men are human, and their basic human emotions will naturally manifest in…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 10:04 PM
0

I think that they are a good example, but not the only ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 09:57 PM
1

You're pretty combative and all over the place yourself. I agree that no one should be expected to settle for just sex or love instead of having both. I don't think most people would be satisfied with that, and I think most people understand that isn't reasonable. A lot of the advice people give on this sub reddit is in bad faith. It's assumed that you're coming here asking about women, you're probably a creep and too far gone to actually help. Someone telling you to just accept half is gaslight…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 09:56 PM
2

Lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 09:46 PM
2

That's what I'm saying. It's not just men who reinforce toxic masculinity. We are all sold this paragon of masculinity that everyone is supposed to be measured against. As a woman, I am expected to fail. As a man, you are expected to achieve the impossible goal of physically embodying a mental construct. Humans have flaws. Ideals do not. Because no man can "be a man" without failing, society punishes you for being woman like. Including women. Think of a mother telling her son that boys don't cry…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 09:45 PM
1

Well, you still paint yourself into a corner with that argument. Guys don't only want sex, or you would just go get some random women off of the streets. Hell, lots of guys do that, and then try to turn those women into wives (or sex slaves. It's called survival sex, and it's terrifying. Lots of rapist and serial killers target homeless women. I'm off topic). Guys don't just want sex most of the time, just like women don't just want a relationship. The whole reason men don't live as long as we d…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 09:25 PM
1

So, really, we only disagree that it shouldn't be seen as a gendered issue. It is as gendered as an issue can be. I can't think of a single gendered issue that doesn't apply to some outlying individuals of other genders. Men's loneliness is systemic and targeted. They make better oppressors when they have limited opportunities to develop empathy and interpersonal ties. They are more competitive with each other because they have no solidarity. I can go on. It's like chaining a dog to a tree so it…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 09:16 PM
10

Sure, but women don't want to be in dead bedroom relationships either. We don't go into a relationship with a guy trying to trick him into a sexless relationship just to have your company. Even when we're settling, we still want to get off on a regular basis while feeling desirable and intimacy. You don't need to be perfect to be good enough. If your wife won't fuck you, it's most likely not because she was never attracted to you in the first place. It's probably hormones, or she's mad at you, o…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 09:06 PM
12

Attractive men still get used as sex objects. Some guy with a big dick fucking other people's wives is going to be pretty lonely. I have known a few guys like that. If people see having sex with you like a special event they have to prepare for and recover from, they probably won't give you a kidney or be there during holidays.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 08:56 PM
–

Indeed
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 08:38 PM
1

That's the right in general. "It's not broken for me, so don't fix it. I've got mine, fuck yours."
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 06:40 PM
2

That's not at all what I'm doing. I see it happen all of the time, so I see why you have this spring-loaded reaction, but I'm not doing that. I'm not talking about Eliot Rodger here as if he represents the entire manosphere. I'm saying that men in the comment section and post here aren't supporting eachother, they are just using eachothers problems as hypothetical arguing points. How often do you see guys telling each other in these spaces something to make them feel better about themselves? Nev…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 06:39 PM
0

You're being really polite about it, so even if a woman doesn't like you mentioning her appearance, you're not pushing it so far that it's worth confronting you about it. What you also don't account for is that you would have to do something pretty extreme to get in any actual trouble for it. Sex crimes are like crimes against animals and children. People make a big deal out of it in theory, but in practice, people get mad at anyone trying to draw attention to real-life examples, and it's often …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 06:26 PM
12

Because manhood is an unattainable goal, and everyone is judged by their degree of failure. It's why MRAs use men's issues as arguing points, but don't actually care about men who are marginalized by society. You see it all of the time in these spaces. Just look at how conservatives use the word cuck to insult other men. Really, in general, society conditions people to see any man needing sympathy as a loser who deserves to suffer for not being a real man.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 06:14 PM
3

But it is worse. Your problems don't need to be the worst problems to still be important. If you broke your toe kicking a coffee table, that's a valid problem. Someone who is bleeding to death has worse problems, but we still need to do something about your toe. [Edit] Men also deal with rape, just not as often. Men are raped by men. Men are raped by women. Men are raped, and it's still one of the worst things that can happen to a person when it happens to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 04:28 PM
–

Gross. You're exactly what I'm talking about. Way to make us look bad. I don't give a shit how traditional your culture is. All cultures have traditions. It is a bull shit excuse for backwards people. Tradition is just peer pressure from dead people.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 04:25 PM
1

That still makes it a gendered issue. Men also suffer from rape, but it's not considered a mens issue because it effects us more.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 04:22 PM
1

People get stuck in unhealthy relationships all of the time. With groups, and with individuals.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 04:21 PM
2

Your problems don't need to be worse than rape and murder to be important.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 04:17 PM
6

That is a problem. I'm not saying it isn't. I'm saying that on a net whole, it's still not as bad as violence from men twords women. More to the point, I'm saying that problems like violence from women twords men being under reported are still serious problems. It is fair to feel like women are conditioned to dismiss men's problems. Everyone is conditioned to dismiss men's problems. Boys don't cry. That fucking sucks, and when we ignore systemic problems facing men, we enforce those problems. It…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 08:41 AM
11

You're leaving a lot off of the list for systemic problems women face. I'm sure women in poorer countries experience a lot more violence than what's reported. In fact, all violence is underreported everywhere. You're looking at this the wrong way. I honestly don't think you think men face as many or potentially more systemic problems than women do. I think you resent having your problems dismissed out of hand as self-inflicted or less significant. It's like when your parents tell you that you ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 08:13 AM
1

So why wouldn't they report me just to brag about it if they knew I couldn't prove they made me do it?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 07:26 AM
1

I edited my reply
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 07:19 AM
2

It would be my word against theirs that I was pressured or forced into it. All you would prove is that it happened. [Edit] What about when I was going along with letting these guys do what they want because I was sick of fighting them every time and it happening anyways? Does that count? I was literally bullied into it by people I saw everyday for years.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 07:10 AM
–

If I don't want to be with a guy, I don't owe him an explanation or an excuse. I'm not going to say anything about having a partner because if no isn't enough, I'll tell him to go fuck himself.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 06:41 AM
3

I've been taken advantage of by a lot of guys when I was younger, and I can't prove I didn't consent. Sometimes, I did consent to doing things with someone after I got used to being forced or pressured into it. Would I be able to have that information removed from the service, and would I have to take a lie detector test to prove it was sexual assault? I don't think a machine can determine if I'm lying about that or if it's just a stressful topic for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 06:14 AM
0

See, this is the reason you guys can't get through to people. You would have a good point if you didn't frame this as an extreme character flaw shared by all or most women. Less bile and hyperbole would go a long way. The women who wouldn't date a guy who expects to pay 50/50 on some level is incapable of loving men or really caring about them. Sure. At the very least, they don't deserve to be loved by them. I think most women would date a guy who expects her to pay 50/50 if she really wants to …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 05:44 AM
1

I think the real problem is how men complain, not what they complain about. It's hard to sympathize with someone who is angry instead of sad. It's okay to feel insecure or undesirable, or even like women have unreasonable standards. It's not okay to pick fights with us about it. I'm not going to feel sorry for you because you're wife won't fuck you more than once a month if you're being obnoxious to me about it. Men need to actually try to illicit sympathy more often, so we can get used to sympa…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 04:20 AM
1

In this case, the behavior in question is idolizing the only person to make you feel loved or desirable. That's not a behavior as much as a delusion. I don't know what someone could choose to do to fix that when it's happening to them besides remind themselves to be cynical. Not everything is about self-control and personal responsibility. Sometimes, you need to understand that other people have genuine problems that you would also struggle with if you were in the same situation, and if you can'…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 04:08 AM
1

Socializing can make you just as miserable as having a partner and is just as important for your well-being.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 03:58 AM
-1

That still makes it a gendered issue. Men would still be isolated from people due to patriarchy, even if capitalism didn't isolate all of us. It's why we live longer. We have better morale because we are less isolated. They have an intersecting systemic problem. Just let them have it. It doesn't invalidate your own problems that they have an obstacle we don't. We have plenty of our own. Men can have this one.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 02:34 AM
–

No. Most mean girls I knew were prudes. They were mean to me because I was promiscuous. I'm sure they didn't grow out of it either, because those types get more judgmental as they get older. God forbid Karen's husband sees my nipples poke through my shirt, and thinks about my tits the next time they have sex in the dark on his birthday.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 02:27 AM
4

You can just get in the mood for sex. Like, you having no obligation to do so for someone else's sake isn't the same thing as not being able to do so. You can deliberately choose to set away some time and energy to go to bed together and try to get into the mood. The only alternatives are to always magically be in the mood at the same time, or for one person to have unilateral control over sex while the other person has to get in the mood on command with no help or reciprocity. My partner says w…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 02:22 AM
1

These are not invalid excuses, though, and men get taken advantage of for having low self-esteem all of the time. The whole concept of alphas and betas, chads and virgins, the entire red pill really, is men observing that some women will take advantage of men with body issues or lack of experience because these guys are less likely to find someone better. Hell, even the guys who do get laid in your world view are just getting used for sex. A guy with a big dick who goes around cuckolding normal …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/23 02:08 AM
1

That's not being happy, it's sour grapes. I said most women are not happy alone. That includes old women. Old women are more likely to maintain relationships with friends and family, so they don't depend on their spouse for companionship as much as old men. That's why we live longer than you do. Morale. But we still strongly prefer a life with sex and romantic love than life without them. Just like we prefer life with our limbs than life without them. Some people rather go without than to deal w…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/23 09:06 AM
8

Most women are not content being alone. If you are, you're asexual or aromatic. You're not just too enlightened to burden another human being with your needs when those are not needs you have.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/23 07:39 PM
1

I'm just talking about incels. A guy who is getting laid and is just mad that it takes more effort for men than it does for women because women are so cynical and repressed around sex doesn't need help.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 07:49 PM
1

That doesn't make any sense. Either your celibacy is voluntary or it is not.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 07:45 PM
2

Lol. I will, thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/11/23 06:41 PM
1

Ok
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 10:18 PM
2

Thanks. I'd still probably do it again. I think about doing it for a coworker of mine a lot. I just don't want the drama right now.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 06:32 PM
1

Lol. We are now. This was a long time ago. Things are more fair now. I sucked off my SO's best friend, I got my best friend to suck off my SO.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 06:25 PM
1

Okay
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 06:22 PM
1

That's an incel. Most guys are not incels. Most incels are not the most extreme cases. All incens, by definition, think they are completely doomed to loneliness due to women being too shallow to give them any sort of sexual attention. Any of them would have a huge hole poked into that delusion if I gave them a blowjob.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 04:30 AM
2

You're the one who mentioned extreme cases. I'm talking about the average incel. Just a normal dude stuck in a vicious cycle of rejection and bitterness.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 04:09 AM
1

I'm sorry about that. Do you want to DM me?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 04:07 AM
1

I don't know what happened to the boys I did this for in high-school, but my old roommate had a few girlfriends after I started sucking his dick. I was my partner's first at 22, and they didn't think anyone would ever love them or be attracted to them before I showed them that I do.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 03:53 AM
2

No, most of the guys I'd find myself speaking to would benefit from a little push from me. Regardless of whatever major issues they may have, they would be more willing to try and make it work if they had some positive sexual experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 03:38 AM
2

The most desperately alone incel regardless of other circumstances is mainly held back by their own defeatist view twords sex. It can both be true that they have legitimate problems and are setting themselves up to fail by seeing it as a forgone conclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 02:46 AM
2

I was just impressionable and young. I knew what they needed and I wanted them to like me. In high-school I hanged out with a lot of younger obnoxious dweebs who talked me into sucking them off a few times a day. When I got older, my SO had a friend who was a stereotypical incel that moved in with us, so I started giving him bjs throughout the day like I did for my friends in school so I'd get along with him better.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 02:40 AM
2

My argument doesn't have to do all of the work itself. I can be an example. Incels thought process is the product of catastrophizing, not actual logic. You can't reason someone out of a position they weren't reasoned into in the first place. Most incels intellectually understand they are wrong and just can't let go of the visceral feeling that they are right. Most of them have lived uniquely bad experiences that have reinforced their unhealthy beliefs.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 01:57 AM
1

That's not involtary celibacy. That's them being picky. Besides, in my experience, it is the only thing that I can think of that takes the edge off so they're not self sabotaging out of bitterness and frustration so much. It breaks the behavior pattern and introduces nuance to a black and white perspective. Incels tend to see things in absolutes. If you can get a woman to suck your dick, or even just help you mastebate online, you need to accept that it's not something that only happens for Chad…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 01:34 AM
-1

I live in a major city. People meet online and decide to get together in teal life all of the time. And if they don't live near by, we can still talk in DMs. That's fun. It sharpens your flirting skills. Builds confidence. It's not rejection. If they rather fight than talk, it speaks to their priorities.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 01:14 AM
-4

You would be surprised. I have done this for guys like this I knew in real life a few times, but when I try to talk to guys on reddit, they rather insult me or fight. Saying its pity, desperation, or manipulative. They're so jealous that they can't just open a booth and have virgins line up to be deflowered that they don't even consider getting to know if I'll follow through. Their self identity is built around rejection. Making friends with a woman who is offering to suck their dicks would make…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 12:26 AM
5

I've met a lot of incels I'd have sex with if they gave me a chance instead of being immediately hostile. When I was in my teens and 20s, I gave bjs to guys I knew who were incels. It had nothing to do with them being ugly or short. They just got lucky that I was in their nerdy little social group.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 11:41 PM
4

Oh, okay. Fair enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 11:31 PM
8

Promiscuity means success, not just willing desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 11:25 PM
-5

I agree with the premise, but not all incels are virgins. A guy can be in a dead bedroom relationship with a woman he used to have sex with regularly. If he is an obsessive asshole about it, he is an incel. When I think of an incel, it's not just a guy who wishes he had a fulfilling sex life. It's a guy caught in a catch 22 where the reason women don't give him a chance is because he is so bitter that women won't give him a chance. He's a guy who makes the air thick with tension. He's so ready t…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 11:22 PM
1

Conservative beliefs tend to be hyper individualistic. They don't account for externalities or outliers. To them, there is an objective and correct way to do everything, and to deviate from that template is to be a freak or a failure. Luck doesn't fit into such a formulaic worldview. Luck is outside of the control of the individual, and the individual must be given all credit for their circumstances. Privilege has to be justified as being earned. Hardship has to be dismissed as the consequences …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 11:10 PM
2

Everyone has problems, and some people have more problems than others. We all have problems due to systemic issues we have little to no control over as individuals and can only meaningfully address together as a group. For example, ableism. You can be a cis, het white American man who grew up in wealth, but still suffer unduly because of society's stigma against your disability and the general lack of accommodations for it. This would be compounded if you had other systemic problems on top of th…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 09:29 PM
1

I agree with number one, and to a degree number two. However, I'd say the reverse is also true. Men don't want to be with a woman who looks and smells like a corps left in a dumpster. A man might be more willing to settle for that, but he won't be happy or grateful. The rest sounds like women fetishizing traditional masculinity. We all sometimes need to be reminded that gender roles are unattainable social constructs. Men are just people with the same range of human emotional needs and experienc…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 09:22 PM
1

You're not always going to enjoy the company of someone you love. Someone on their death bed should be able to expect love from their partner even if giving yourself to these last moments will never be rewarded with anything but a painful memory. Basic kindness and altruism are not unreasonable to ask for from your companions.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/23 09:00 PM
2

I like showing off my titties. This isn't very complicated. If I want my tits and ass hanging out in public, that's my prerogative. My partner likes showing me off, but I'd do it more if it was something they disapproved of. They used to get mad at me for only dressing that way around other people, but now I try to look nice at home for them too.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 10:46 PM
1

My partner catastrafizes that I am not attracted to them or that I'm mad about something if I make up an excuse. After trying to solve the made-up problem and then calling me a liar. They even brought up that I have chronic headaches at night to my doctor saying it sounds pretty serious just to embarass me. The moment they know I'm hiding the real reason, they spiral about things that are normally way worse than the truth. The real reason is that I don't feel like it. If I was in the habit of ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 10:32 PM
0

I grew up with it and I'm also 31. It's not just about being gender neutral, it's about being equals. A partner is someone who shares equal responsibilities and respect. Just like if you were partners in an art project, or something you're both doing for some other mutual passion.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/23 10:18 PM
1

I'm the more dominant one in my relationship, and I couldn't stand being expected to let my partner lead. I like being affectionate, dressing nice for my partner, and doing things for them, but only because I feel like it. I also like having a house partner. They feed me, take care of my pets, and keep the house clean. They have a predictable schedule, and it feels nice to know that I can support us while they're going to school. I get the appeal of a relationship with that power dynamic. What I…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 10:16 PM
1

Like a dog that's chained to a tree and barks at anyone who approaches their tiny little world. Sounds like my step mom. Honestly, that sounds awful for both parties. You're expected to fit a preordained role and are abused for not doing so. Man or woman. No thank you. Imagine a guy in a relationship like that who gets into an accident and can't work or exercise like he did when he was young and healthy. Or to just need support in general. Or to relax when you get home.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 10:03 PM
2

You're the one failing to have an adult conversation. I can buy food I don't need to cook. You can't pay your way out of developing the skills and patience necessary to satisfy your need for human interaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 03:15 AM
1

Seriously? I haven't been to a fast food place for a few years, but I'm sure most of them still have a dollar menu. You're going to experiment with cooking or get burned out, and that requires skill, aptitude, creativity, and yes, time and resources for trial and error. If you buy a bunch of preserved, processed garbage with little actual nutrients, it will save you time and money. You can open that shit up right off the shelf, and you're ready to go.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 02:35 AM
1

You eat healthier food. Just eating less food is just going to cause an eating disorder and set yourself up for failure. Healthier food doesn't last as long without spoiling, has to be cooked, requires you to develop several new skills, and so on. It's expensive and time-consuming to make such a big change in how you live your life. Changing your environment and schedule requires more than just the will to do so. You need opportunity. I would still be at my old job if no one else hired me.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/23 01:43 AM
2

Sounds like you had time, energy and resources. I also lost a lot of weight recently after changing jobs. I didn't even notice it. I wasn't trying at all. It was just a change in my environment and schedule. Your world view doesn't account for externalities.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 11:59 PM
2

It sounds like those people didn't need help. If so many people are really that unmotivated, it begs the question why. Blaming it on character is just an unwillingness to look at the problem. Do these people get enough exercise at work? Do they have time or energy to exercise outside of work? How close do they live to a grocery store? Do they know how to cook? What does their health look like? A lot of medical conditions and medications can cause weight gain. You could apply this to any hyperind…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 11:34 PM
1

Not everyone can avoid it. We met in housing for disabled homeless youth. They worked and I went to school. When we lost everything, they got us housing, and went to work while I go to school. Now they're getting to go to school. That's fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 11:03 PM
2

A majority failure rate speaks for itself
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 10:47 PM
2

Even the ones who succeed in an environment of constant hyper competition are miserable from all of the stress. That's fine for crypto bros, but you can't get your dick up if you're always pumped full of adrenaline.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 10:46 PM
1

But that doesn't mean that they don't love me just because they didn't do that at the beginning of our relationship. And I'm not trying to flex. They are disabled and going back to school, so I pay the bills. They used to be the one going to work while I went to school. There have been times when we were homeless together. Someone who will be there for you in poverty is more valuable than money.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 10:43 PM
2

Exactly
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 10:37 PM
3

The lottery is probably a really good analogy. Most people don't throw their money away on the lottery because it's foolish.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 10:24 PM
1

They used my food and their food. They didn't take me on dates. I have taken them on a date and paid for everything, and they were really cute about it, but that was after years of me being the breadwinner.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 10:23 PM
3

No, someone not taking care of themselves like you described sounds depressed. I can absolutely blame your ideology for not addressing the problem systemically. It's no different that a pyramid scheme or crypto being pushed as a solution to economic problems. Some people get rich, and most people fail. It's not a realistic mindset with realistic goals.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 10:13 PM
1

I'm not. My partner adores me. We started as friends and neighbors, so we never had to do this stupid game of basically paying for a job interview. They cook and I don't. Every day they would cook me something special using both of our households' food supplies. It was a lot more magical than going to an expensive restaurant.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 10:05 PM
1

That's because I'm with my best friend, not a sugar daddy.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 09:52 PM
7

That still means it doesn't work. If your solution to a problem for society at large doesn't work for most people, it doesn't work as a solution to a systemic problem. The kind of person you described sounds depressed.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 09:50 PM
1

You're still basically making it a transaction. Women like sex too. We're just conditioned to think of it as something we should repress and be ashamed of so it can be saved as a reward for our husbands. It's not a treat I give a man. It's something we do together for each other. Just like going on a date isn't just a gift for me. It's supposed to be for both of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 09:47 PM
5

Then why the high rate of failure?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 09:36 PM
1

You'd be surprised. Both by how little some people charge for sex and how much a plate of food can cost. That's besides the point. It's leverage. It's pressure. It's something that is expected to be reciprocated. It makes it seem like the date itself is purely for my benefit in hopes that afterward, I will show my gratitude
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 09:36 PM
1

You can use tradition to rationalize anything. I'm just saying that it's hypocritical to cheery pick the parts of tradition that suits the person in the moment. That's not a genuine commitment to tradition. It's just an excuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 09:28 PM
-1

I think most people form irrational assumptions about other people. That's something we could all work on in general. It's something we should all understand in others to a degree because we all do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 09:21 PM
1

I'm a thicker woman. People of all sexes, genders, and body types seem to like curves, so I don't think it's about hormones. I'd say overall, the majority of people just really like tits and ass.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 09:09 PM
6

That just hurts the credibility of your argument. A lot of what red pullers say is just an ironic twist on feminism. You could make a lot of the same arguments without exaggerating, fatalism, or bad faith, and you would be more persuasive.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 09:05 PM
3

Something that only works under ideal circumstances doesn't work.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 08:49 PM
1

If I were a narcissist, I wouldn't be taking ownership of my actions. How am I a cake eater? I looked it up, and it doesn't follow.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 08:15 PM
2

Okay, I see what you're saying here. I still think it's pretty gross, but you did say the first date. Implying that you would pay on other dates. That's still pretty icky to me. It devalues him as a potential partner purely on his willingness to pay for the whole date. What does it say about him if he does want to split the bill? That he'd expect you to always act as equals? That he expects you to be a partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 06:22 PM
2

Most people who claim to be traditional pick and choose what traditions are important. It's totally arbitrary. There is no reason to give up head dresses and animal sacrifices or whatever interesting and unique things that come from different traditions, but then say you want men to pay for everything because it's tradition. Men paying for everything is a holdover from when we didn't have the right to own property, or have a bank account, or get a job.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 06:15 PM
1

Tradition is peer pressure from dead people. It doesn't matter what year it is now, when you want society to be stuck in the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 06:10 PM
–

Me too. My partner is afraid to ask now.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 05:40 PM
2

That is tradition, Karen. Barefoot in the kitchen pregnant. Know your place, shut your face. That is what tradition demands of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 04:58 PM
2

Preferring to have a man pay for everything is gross. If being an escort is your job, that's fine, but you're not talking about being a sex worker. You are talking about maintaining a traditional standard where the man thinks of himself as a provider. This means he thinks of the woman he is providing for as being in debt to him. That's an uneven power dynamic. Also, you might be poor someday. If the guy you're with can't provide for you during a crisis, he's going to think you don't love him any…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 04:50 PM
1

You don't see people as people. Men have emotions. It's not unusual to see a woman who is soft and curvy. All men have emotions. We are never going to find a guy who doesn't need emotional support. That expectation is not natural because nature would never satisfy it. It is fair and accurate to say we are conditioned by society to think men don't or shouldn't need emotional support. Society sets people up with unattainable expectations all of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 06:21 AM
-1

And those women should be called out for enforcing toxic masculinity and for internalizing misogyny. It took me a while to get used to my partner coming out as pan and nonbinary. I'm still working on myself, just like everyone should. If I don't want to be confined to traditional gender roles, I should want that same freedom for everybody. When a woman attacks your manhood because you are not conforming to traditional masculinity, she is insulting all women by comparing you to us. As if being li…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 05:49 AM
1

It's recorded history. These things happened. Most women wouldn't choose to live that way. That is why, traditionally, we didn't have a choice. That's why traditional women trying to push that nonsense are all hypocrites. If they really wanted to commit to peer pressure from dead people and hold to tradition, they would keep their opinions to themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 05:37 AM
1

I'm sorry, but there is always right now. The perfect moment is the one you choose. Not a future that may not happen, or a past that will forever be out of reach. The past and future only exist in your imagination. In reality, there is only now.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 05:21 AM
1

How?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 05:18 AM
-1

It wasn't that much different at that time for some women in places like Utah or Appalachia. That point of time is just as alien to most people alive today as any other. It's totally arbitrary. Also, it was a nightmare for women. Do you have any idea what a woman could be lobotomized for back then in America? Pretty much anything that agitated your husband. Meaning you would have you're free will removed for not being obedient and well behaved. Just a husk capable of sex and birth. Maybe chores …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 05:14 AM
1

Well, they are poor teachers. Just look up rom coms on Cracked's YouTube channel. It's all shit that is creepy as hell when you think about it for just a few seconds.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 05:06 AM
1

The hell I can't. Traditional marriage is buying a pubescent girl from her father for a couple of goats so she can be a domestic slave and sex machine. It has gotten less coercive and unequal as we move away from tradition, but that is tradition. That is not opinion. It's recorded history.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 05:04 AM
1

Even if they don't say it, or even think it, the pressure is still there. It's obviously not fair for us not pay our half. It implies that the entire date is a favor for us, instead of a nice thing we are doing together for our mutual enjoyment.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 04:59 AM
2

Some people like being a slave. It's like what Malcom X said about house slaves. They identify with their master more than they do with themselves. When his master's house is on fire, he grabs a bucket. But the field slave would pray for wind whenever there was a fire.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 04:56 AM
2

Filtering out users, I suppose. My SO of 14 years asked if I wanted to go to Arby's when we were just hanging out as friends. They forgot their wallet. I yelled at them in public, only to have them chew me out for getting mad that I'm not getting a free meal out of someone who owes me nothing. Saying we were just friends and that they would dump me for this if we were on a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 04:50 AM
4

I never understood how someone could miss this. I'm not a traditional woman, and I don't want a traditional man or a traditional relationship. In a traditional relationship, I would be a baby making machine with no right to leave the house or have my own opinion. This Karen mindset of conservative women wanting tradition when it suits them is disgusting and disingenuous.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 04:42 AM
2

That's pretty gross
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 04:37 AM
0

I don't know why you're being so resistant to this. Do you like throwing away money? It just makes sense. Don't expect the guy to pay for everything. Not only is it rude, but it's just dumb. Even if he doesn't think you owe him anything, you still know he would like it if you reciprocate something. Dates can be expensive. Letting someone spend a lot of money to show you a good time when you have no intention of doing something for them to show how grateful you are feels uncomfortable.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 04:36 AM
1

It's worth asking if he likes it when you initiate. Maybe it puts you out of the mood because it makes you feel vulnerable. It could help your confidence and enjoyment to know that he likes it. It probably makes him feel really desirable.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 03:44 AM
1

Asking. I think he wants to know how often we put ourselves in a position to risk being the one who is rejected.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 03:40 AM
1

Oh. They're nonbinary and haven't done anything with hormones or surgery. They presented as a straight man when we met, and I still find them attractive. I mean, Prince and David Bowie were attractive and a lot less masculine than my SO is even now. When I was young, I took them for granted. As they explained, the assumption that men always want sex means that it is also assumed that they will still want sex even if you reject them most of the time. Instead, sex becomes a huge source of anxiety …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 03:20 AM
1

What's TS?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 03:07 AM
1

A couple of times a month, I just hope on top of them when they're getting ready to jerk off. I wish they would initiate more, but I fucked up, and now after 14 years, they're afraid to do anything more than tell me that it would be nice to have sex some time soon, if I feel like it. They don't initiate sex at all now. They just whine about wanting it. It's very ironic. If they tried the right way, I'd do it. I want to have sex with them. I just don't want them to remind me of the last time I re…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/23 02:46 AM
2

Women still like sex in our 40s. We don't reach our sexual peek until our 30s. The wall is just a myth to make some guys feel better about being rejected when they were younger. In reality, old people fuck. A lot of people have more sex in nursing homes than they did all of their life. They just have to accept that it's not going to be the kind of sex they could have had in their 20s, or with someone who looks like they are in their 20s. Your natural advantage is only useful in violence and hard…
/r/AllPillDebate01/11/23 08:53 PM
1

Sex and gender are separate things. There are a lot of Karans and TERFs calling themselves feminist when they're really just edge lords, basically. It's no different than a guy who calls himself a libertarian but makes excuses for police brutality.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 11:22 PM
1

I am a feminist. I am describing gender as a social construct that we all exist on a spectrum. My partner is nonbinary. This is up to date feminist theory.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 10:49 PM
1

Because "men" in this context is an abstract idea, not a group of people. No one man is so many that his masculinity can't be threatened. It's an unachievable platonic idea. An archetype. Each of these systems of oppression puts everyone on a spectrum. We are all judged by our degree of failure to perfectly embody artificial constructs imposed on us by society.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 10:41 PM
1

Because she doesn't respect shy people. It's not just a lack of attraction. It's a lack of respect. For people like she used to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 09:33 PM
1

It's a system that exists to oppress people. It doesn't have a goal of helping men. It has no goals. It's a machine made of all of us, and no one is elevated so high into the mechanisms of oppression that they are free from it. The same is true of all systems of oppression.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 09:32 PM
1

Yes. It's a sick joke. It's a straight-up catch 22. My bullies were guys and did some pretty fucked up shit to me that I still live with 14 years later. It impacts my relationship. I have the exact same problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 06:38 AM
–

Nah, it's deeper than that. It's not about being confident, its about calming down. Your body doesn't know the difference between one kind of stress and another. It thinks you're in a life or death situation basically all of the time because of the bullying. That this problem has also fucked up your ability to talk to women is just life twisting the knife.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 06:34 AM
1

Lol. Wifi anywhere makes it a place to meet women.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 06:32 AM
–

Shyness isn't the only scare that comes from being bullied. There's also things like self-loathing, bitterness, and paranoia. I have also been bullied a lot. A lot. So was my partner. Something I've learned because they've been going to school for massage therapy is that having confidence isn't as important not lacking confidence. When you've been abused a lot, you get stuck in a permanent state of fight or flight. No one wants to be touched by someone in fight or flight. You can sense it on peo…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 06:27 AM
–

A lot of them are just here to be contrary. I spent all day arguing about the loss of 3rd places with people who think it's a right-wing idea just because it's about the modern tendency society has to isolate people being discussed in this sub.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 06:12 AM
1

Then why were more of those places able to stay in business?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 05:39 AM
–

Well, thank you, but I think you're underestimating us.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 05:38 AM
2

It's less a thing than it used to be
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 04:31 AM
1

I think you're making an excuse to be closed-minded and unsympathetic. For one, what exactly are you imagining poor people doing? Like, for real. Let's just start there.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 04:19 AM
1

Right. I think people struggling to understand this are just spoiled.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 04:05 AM
16

Oh fuck her. I love shy guys. I think they're cute, and it makes me want to get them to open up to me. My partner was quiet until I got them to let down their guard.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 04:04 AM
1

I used to go to a drum circle before lockdown. Now, it's overran by fentanyl users. There is a weekly market I like. I'm not complaining that there is nowhere for me personally. I'm saying there are not enough 3rd places in general. For people at large. I live in a big progressive city. This isn't my problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 03:59 AM
1

They aren't the only ones dealing with social isolation. It's a common and growing problem. Most people have trouble making friends as adults. We didn't lose the skills or desire to make friends we had as kids, we just don't have the opportunity anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 03:53 AM
1

That's actually a pretty standard belief in feminism. Men being isolated makes them more efficient agents of patriarchy. The left in general makes a big deal about how capitalism destroys communities and indoctrinates us into hyperindividualism so we can't support each other collectively. 3rd places if a leftist idea. It's not a red pill concept. They might appropriate it like they do a lot of our things, but it's still ours. People need 3rd places to organize. Like gay bars. Gay bars are respon…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 03:51 AM
1

It's not a place, and we are not socializing. I am looking at my phone reading text on an app. I am totally alone. I could die right now, and you would never know.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 03:45 AM
2

Oh wow, let's hang out at Starbucks all day drinking the cheapest drink they sell. I'm sure that will be fun, and not really rude to the people working there or trying to eat while we're taking up space. The places we can go are not set up for people to just chill there for a few hours. No one expects you to stay there and talk to strangers. The furniture, music, and everything else about the layout of most establishments is designed so you get in and get out.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 03:41 AM
1

What creates a lack of motivation? Why would people suddenly lose this drive that has been part of the species for eons? Trying to blame the individual to avoid blaming the environment works for isolated anomalies, not trends. These people would be at 3rd places regularly a few decades ago. People didn't change. The world did.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 03:12 AM
1

You can't have it both ways. Either they want to be alone or they don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 03:05 AM
–

Social contact is also needed to survive. That's why solitary confinement is considered torture. It's why old men die sooner than old women. It's vital to morale, and therfore survival.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 02:56 AM
1

Why jump to the conclusion that people are full of shit instead of at least considering their position first? If someone says they have nowhere to go, you can listen instead of arguing. That's an option. Maybe they know their own situation better than you do. Just a thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 02:54 AM
1

If they're not motivated to be social, then why are they so unhappy about being alone? This sounds a lot like telling someone caught in a trap they just don't want to be free enough to get out because you don't want to question why there's a trap in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 02:52 AM
1

Why would they make that choice? If it's not a product of externalities, then how did all of these people just change human nature all on their own? Thousands of years of socializing just thrown out because reasons. That makes sense. Sure. People change their behavior in massive tends all of the time with no cause at all. An entire generation simply lost the desire for basic human contact outside of work or being home.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 02:44 AM
1

Apparently, that's not enough. Again, what do you have to lose by people having more places to hang out? Overpopulation is a myth perpuated by people who don't want to evenly distribute resources. Declining birthrates is a myth pushed to keep out immigrants. What's the insidious plot behind people wanting somewhere to go besides the bar, gym, or church?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 02:38 AM
–

I've addressed this a lot already
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 02:28 AM
1

What are these social places you speak of, because I bet they're not affordable or still very common. These places have closed down. You can't bootstraps your way out if it. It's just like no amount of gumption is going to bring back Block Busters no matter how much you want it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 02:27 AM
1

You don't deserve much respect. I never told you not to go to any of the things you suggested, just that they don't help anyone who can't drive. The problem is a lack of affordable places to hang out nearby in most of the country. That's what a 3rd place is. If you have to drive there, it's not a 3rd place.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 02:23 AM
1

No, I did go once, and everyone was pouring their drinks directly onto the floor. I would never go to a bar that actually has drinking at that establishment.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 02:19 AM
1

So you're just saying that in your opinion it's fine if more people have less places to go, because fuck'em. Why even have an opinion then? What do you have to lose by people wanting to have somewhere to hangout?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 02:17 AM
1

Shopping centers arnts suitable at all, and bars are only suitable for some people. Everyone knows bars still exist. This isn't about the absence of bars. There are plenty of bars. What about everyone else? You say everyone else chooses not to go to the bar. That implies the problem is them not being satisfied with bars alone. The problem is that there aren't enough alternatives to the bar.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 02:14 AM
1

For fuck sake, just Google 3rd places and read an article.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 02:06 AM
1

Again, I've already addressed this. Go read one of those replies.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 02:04 AM
1

I've already addressed this.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 02:03 AM
1

I'm not the one saying shopping centers are fine third place. You're the one who thinks them and bars are good enough alone. Teens can go to a shopping center, and everyone must pack into the bar. There needs to be a variety so people can pick what works for them, and they need to be common enough so that everyone can go to one. I have been clear about this from the start. If you agree, then you shouldn't have wasted all day arguing about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 02:02 AM
2

My spouse treats me a lot better than a lot of guys treat their partners. Having to speak up is a small price to pay for being with someone I trust. Most guys complain about not being mind readers, but most of them have no genuine interest in pleasing us. My partner is always trying to sympathize with me even when I feel like I don't deserve it. They listen to me. No one has ever made me feel so loved before.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:58 AM
1

Most disabled people don't live in communities like that. This is a complex issue that isn't going to be solved by pulling on one's bootstraps. We're just going to have to agree to disagree. I'm still going to say this is a problem, and you can go gaslight someone else about climate change or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:44 AM
1

Not every bar or park is fit for that. I can think of a few that are just places people go to buy drugs.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:41 AM
1

So all of the experts saying it's more complicated than that are just wrong? Hyperindividualism is right about this despite always being wrong about everything else? You seriously think people just really, really like being bord and lonely.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:33 AM
1

How long ago were you a teen? Was it before the 08 recession or the pandemic? Accessible isn't just about disability. Driving costs money. For most of history, even poor people got to do things. There just needs to be more things for people to do. I'm not asking you to pay for it. You don't have to make it happen yourself. It's just a problem that needs awareness.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:30 AM
1

Why should I take advice from you when you don't believe this is something that's happening and have no interest what experts have to say about it? I am active in my community. That's why I care about this sort of thing. I'm not just some yuppie that spends all of my time sitting in my car to go to festivals where I will never see these people again.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:26 AM
1

Yeah, like if you can't go there because you don't drive, fuck you. Just die then. If you have to drive there, it's not accessible for everyone, it doesn't get you involved with your actual community, and you're spending a lot of time in your car instead of at that place. It's not a 3rd place. It's somewhere you go on special occasions.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:16 AM
1

What's weird is choosing ignorance instead of learning why things are the way they are. But, some people don't like like using their brain. That's your right. No one will make you learn if you don't want it. Fucking Google it. People arnt just shooting themselves in the foot, these places don't exist for anyone to go and support. You can't keep something open if it's already closed. You understand linear time, right? Cause and effect? You get how that works, yeah? If something is already dead, y…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:12 AM
1

That will only familiarize you with people you invited, not your community at large.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:04 AM
1

Not everyone can live in the same wonderland you live in. Why don't you just try googling "the lose of 3rd places " so you know I'm not making it up? I posted a link to a video about it from a city planer on YouTube somewhere in one of these responses.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:03 AM
1

I'm not saying that people shouldn't do something that is within their power about their problems, just that this knee-jerk bootstrap bull shit is disingenuous and counterproductive. It costs nothing to validate a problem when you know that it's valid.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 01:00 AM
1

Europe does not have this problem as bad as we do. Walkability is a big part of it, but the bigger problem is the cost of living and the comodification of basically everything. It doesn't do you any good to live next door to a them park you have no time or money for. Smart phones are just filling the void. They didn't create it. It's not more enjoyable to be on reddit than it is to go to a roller disco. It's just more attainable.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:57 AM
6

It also depends on the city.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:48 AM
1

Well, shit. It's still kinda fucked up. And it's not what everyone wants to do. That's not them being picky. Most people who don't drink don't want to go to the bar. It's not a one size fits all option. Just like a parking lot is not an adequate 3rd place. 1st and 2nd are your home and work. Do you really think everyone should treat a bar or parking lot as the place they go to be with their community and develop the same sort of attachment they have for their work and home?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:47 AM
1

Like, a weekly block party. Clubs. Festivals. It's not that these things don't exist at all. It's that they are not common enough to fulfill the need. You shouldn't have to drive to another town for this. There used to be more. Things like bowling alleys have been going out of business for a long time. I don't know why people are suspicious of this statement. What's so hard to believe about dead malls? It's been in the news for years. You can visit them. YouTube is full of videos of urban explor…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:40 AM
2

You keep saying yourself that these options only exist for people who drive everywhere. If you have to drive somewhere to meet people, you are not meeting people who live near you. That's not going to produce community cohesion. You might make a couple of friends you talk to online and see a few times a year, but you're not getting familiar with people who live nearby that you could hang out with on a regular basis.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:31 AM
–

It's a fucking bar. You go there to drink around other people who are also drinking. It's not a restaurant that also happens to serve alcohol. The alcohol is the main attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:24 AM
1

The kids I saw at a skating rink and a mall that don't exist anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:19 AM
–

It's not at all. That's like saying the mail is a 3rd place. You are most likely at home, at work, or traveling between the two. Convincing yourself that you have a life outside of that just because you're on your phone is a dystopian nightmare.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:17 AM
–

So everyone could just force churches to do this? You're blaming people for not making every church do what your church does? And minorities for being discriminated against by churches. Wonderful.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:14 AM
4

Oh wow, you're right. I guess all of those kids with nothing better to do than join a gang forgot about the library and Starbucks. Someone tell all of the people wishing they had a life about ramps. This is going to change everything. Obviously, library's and coffee shops are not places you can go hang out with other people for a few hours. You have to be quiet in libraries and it's called loitering when you're just existing in a business without activity using its services.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:12 AM
1

They were getting aggressive with me for not going with them, I wasn't going to stick around to see how they intended to enforce their wishes. That's not a safe environment for people to hang out. It's a dumb place to try to meet someone to go dating because it is a dumb place to leave with some guy you just met there. If you are going to the bar to not drink alcohol, you will be expected to buy something. It's still a business. If you are going there to meet women, they will be drunk. I'm sorry…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/23 12:04 AM
1

You didn't, I am just so flabbergasted by all of these people thinking that kids can go hang out in a 7-11 parking lot if they can avoid stepping on a used needle. Therefore, there is no problem with there being nowhere to hang out.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 11:57 PM
2

I did. I'm not OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 11:53 PM
1

Yes. I call it outsourcing.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 11:52 PM
1

That's not how people are replying. They are denying the problem exists instead of offering solutions, or even just saying "Yeah, that sucks." It's like when people are dismissive about the American health care system. If I needed insulin and couldn't get it on my insurance, I would have every right to point out that it should be free. Telling me to suck it up and watch my diet instead of complaining about capitalism isn't going to solve my problem or change the fact that I'm right. Insulin shou…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 11:52 PM
2

Yet another thing we do wrong just to do it our way.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 11:42 PM
1

If you have to drive there, it's not really local, is it?poor and disabled people need community too. Even middle class people need somewhere they can just casually go to without needing a car. Also, some places don't have those things even at reasonable driving distance. Your town may not have a park you would take your kids to. You could be in a land locked area. Your religion or denomination may not have a place of worship here, and the only festival you have any interest in is 100s of miles …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 11:41 PM
2

It can be frustrating, but after all of this time, I appreciate there being so much clear communication. They're so candid that they will tell on themself and just own something they did wrong as if it doesn't occur to them to lie about it. I can always trust them to mean what they say and say what they mean. I just have to also be upfront if I want to be understood. Hints either go unnoticed or makes them paranoid.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 11:33 PM
1

They shouldn't only have an unsafe place not meant for that purpose as an option. I don't see how it's controversial to say there should be more places for them to hang out. Or for people in general for that matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 11:14 PM
2

It's the divergence people are normally talking about in this context.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 11:12 PM
1

There were also more malls back then.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 11:11 PM
1

I have been harassed in parking lots by creepy guys trying to get me to leave with them on multiple occasions as an adult and as a teenager. It's not rare at all. And it's still the case that drunk people can't consent. If you're going to the bar to drink doctor pepper alone in a corner all night, it is not serving as a 3rd place. You could have done that at home. The point of a 3rd place is to hang out with people. The people at a bar are going to be drunk. You shouldn't try to convince them to…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 11:10 PM
1

Oh, absolutely not.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 11:02 PM
–

Not everyone is so lucky. Nore, would everyone go to a church community event. Some queer people or religious minorities would feel uncomfortable even at a non religious church function. Also, that would only serve that community. Unless every church in town did this and made sure people know this is available, it can not serve as a 3rd place for everyone. I've gone to things like this. Normally, they don't want too many people showing up because they only have so many volunteers and so on.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 11:01 PM
1

Most people want more places to do things. That doesn't require mind reading. I bet your family member with social anxiety doesn't organize those free events you enjoy every week. I do not see where all of this hostility is coming from. I'm just saying you already know how to solve the problem because you're lucky enough that other people solved it for you. Also, hanging out with people online is basically what we're doing right now. Is this the sane as having actual human contact? Do you think …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 10:52 PM
1

Indeed. I'm tired of people using hyperindividualism as an excuse to not see this as a problem. Just because a problem is systemic doesn't mean you can't talk about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 10:44 PM
2

What are you talking about?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 10:41 PM
–

The world. Where do you think guys in vans kidnapping women and teenagers find their victims, if not parking lots? If you're sober and picking up drunk people, you are being weird. Drunk people can't consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 10:40 PM
2

Those places are dangerous now. They always were, but they especially are now. Would you want your daughter hanging out in some alleyway? I wouldn't feel safe hanging out at a place like that, and I'm 31. Also, all of those places are for cars. Ignoring the creeps who look for teenagers in places like that, or that adults also need 3rd places, just being in the street, a parking lot, or alleyway is a good way to get ran over.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 10:38 PM
1

I didn't say they don't exist. The beach also exists. Why do you think most people don't go to the beach all of the time? Is it because they don't want to go to the beach in most cases, or is it because there is no beach near them? Most people don't have the option to go to the beach. Even if they live near the shore, it might be a private beach, or covered in toxic waste, or too cold and stormy. That's not just excuses. The option isn't there. They can't do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 10:32 PM
1

Absolutely. The real investment is making sure one day of the week or month is cleared regularly. Sunday is game day. Period. That's your day. Only half of it's actually playing. Half or more of the time will be spent on food and talking. You better know what your work schedule looks like in advance because you are going to really piss off the DM if you can only show up to every other game. With a traditional 3rd place, you can come and go with less pressure. It's a thing you can go do when you …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 10:26 PM
–

How? Seriously, there is no way you don't understand this. If I am drunk, I can not consent. If you are not drunk and have sex with me while I am drunk, you did so without my consent.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 10:19 PM
–

Not everyone city or town has these festivals every week, or even a unitarian church for people who would be comfortable with that. I don't see how it's difficult to just say "Yes, society should have more places for people to hang out." instead of "I'm not having this problem, so obviously you're just whining about nothing. " You already have a solution in mind that you've presented as a way to invalidate the problem instead of fixing it. There needs to be more free festivals and events, and in…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 10:13 PM
–

By your logic, someone who is dying from not getting their insulin should shut up and crock already because they didn't have the foresight to throw a communist revolution before developing diabetes. Just because churches want to convert non believers doesn't mean they want a gaggle of neck beards showing up to flirt with all of the women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 10:06 PM
–

You're just being contrary. That's an attack against me, not my argument. It's a bad idea for a sober guy to go to a bar to meet women, and the guys going to a parking lot to meet women often use chloroform. You don't even think these are good ideas, you just think the fact that they are possible is good enough for, I guess as dating advice to incels. As a woman, I don't want incels trying to pick me up in a parking lot, or getting me drunk while they are staying sober and in control.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 10:02 PM
1

I'm a woman, and I got into it because of my partner. It's becoming more popular with women due to the focus shifting more to roleplay and pets. We've spent a lot of money on it because my SO is a DM, but even for players, it requires a serious investment of time and energy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 09:53 PM
1

Not being about to get somewhere is a valid reason to say there is nowhere for you to go hang out. It's just like how someone in the middle of a desert isn't wrong to say there is nowhere to go swimming. On Earth, there are places they could theoretically go swimming. They could move or go on vacation. But it's still true that they can't actually go swimming right now because of the limits of geography. You shouldn't need to change everything about your life just to be able to walk to a place wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 09:49 PM
2

There are more people on earth than there has ever been. There is not more time or space. People need somewhere to make friends first before they can make plans to go somewhere and hand out with them. And it's not magic. One of the problems society has is that people are artificially made more isolated than we used to be for all of human history. If you don't know this, you're ignorant. Disagreeing is just choosing to be wrong about something you can look up and get mainstream academic verificat…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 09:38 PM
1

Then you were never arguing in good faith because you know that is a weak argument. Third places by their very nature are not competitive in the free market. It's not because people wouldn't use them. It's because those people don't pay enough, or at all, to keep them open when that space could be used to make more profit. Not everything has to be determined by market pressures. Kids don't go to shopping centers parking lots to hang out because they like it. It's because that's what's available.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 09:31 PM
–

You don't choose what you want, you choose whether or not you act on your desire. You can choose to drink even if you have a medical condition that gets worse with alcohol. You can choose to have sex with a drunk person while you were drinking lemonade all night. You can choose not to run away when the cops arrest you for sexual assault because the drunk person you had sex with couldn't legally make their own choices. I did loiter at those places, too, as a teen girl, and they're full of creepy …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 09:24 PM
–

Those places not existing nearby or not being a member of that religion. Saying it's a function of capitalism, but not your problem, is still you recognizing the problem. No one is asking you to blame or forgive anyone for it. Just to recognize it. Society has become more and more pay to play. If you can afford it or have some free activities near you, good for you. But so what? It's still a problem for the growing number of people having a problem with it. That's the subject at hand.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 09:15 PM
–

I've explained this. It's not a matter of there not being something else to drink. It's that everyone else is drunk. It's that drunk people are obnoxious, and you can't get consent from a drunk person. Even if you just got someone's phone number so you can talk to them when they are sober, they probably won't remember you or would feel embarrassed. It sounds miserable and gross.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 09:08 PM
–

Malls are going out of business. They don't exist everywhere for everyone. And I keep telling you that shopping centers are not a good replacement even if they are used as such. For one, Amazon is shutting down shopping centers, too. Secondly, like I keep saying and apparently need to spell out in detail, loitering in a parking lot outside of a store that just chased you out because you're not buying anything is a good way to get dragged into a van with no windows. You should not go to a shoppin…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 09:03 PM
1

I don't understand you. I'm not saying homeless people shouldn't be in public spaces. I have been homeless, and I hung out at the library and parks all of the time back then. I'm just saying that the public at large avoided those places because of us, and that was a long time ago. The housing crisis is way worse now.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 08:56 PM
–

Going to church is a choice when you're religious. Are you seriously saying that atheist should go to church to pick up women? Or just to hang out in general? The same with bars. None drinkers going to the bar to get laid are taking advantage of the inebriated. Would you want some random dude to flirt with you in the parking lot of a Best Buy or Dollar General? A shopping center is not a place to socialize. That's loitering.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 08:50 PM
–

They still expect you to keep buying something or get out when you don't drink alcohol and go to a bar. The people you are socializing with are drunk. If you don't drink, being around drunk people is obnoxious, and trying to seduce one is out of the question. Did you ever hang out at a shopping center as a kid? It's boring, the staff don't want you there, and weird adults harass you in the parking lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 08:45 PM
–

It's a problem for most people. Community has become pay to play. Socializing is a commodity just like everything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 08:41 PM
3

Indeed. Some suburbs are full of poverty due to the high cost of living.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 08:38 PM
3

Trend of dead malls. Auto correct fucked me up. In America, malls are a dying institution. Like newspapers. I always imagine that most incels are from the suburbs or the county. Guys like that living in the city get into some nerd community, and some of their social needs met there. Even the that requires a buy in though that's much more of an investment than a traditional 3rd places. Fandom cost a lot of time and money. Going to a D&D session at a game store is a bigger commitment than going to…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 08:33 PM
–

Right. And not everyone goes to church. No church, no bar, no mall, no where to go and hang out.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 08:15 PM
13

Malls are less common, and have less in them. Skating rinks, drive in movies, bowling allies, just places to be for a few hours hanging out without having to buy more than a cheap ticket are all relics from the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 08:14 PM
13

Malls are going out of business, and libraries and parks are becoming day shelters for homeless people. There is also a housing crisis. Society is full of problems. It's ignorant to pretend that's not true just so you can tell people to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 08:10 PM
–

No. It's a demonstrable fact that they are shutting down or pricing people out. I'm not going to pretend you don't know that. I posted a YouTube video from a city planer, watch it, or agree to disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 08:06 PM
10

There isn't a trend of dead males in Canada? No, there are not always community centers or affordable gyms people would want to just chill at, and the park is full of people dying from opiods. The slow lose of 3rd places is a recognized problem for city planers and other people working on civic issues around the world. It's not just a reddit buzzword. https://youtu.be/VvdQ381K5xg?si=SutaqTQLhIetkDTv
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 06:52 PM
1

It cost me nothing to be sympathetic. The same argument could be made about why someone stays in an abusive relationship. Besides, men also typically have no sympathy for other men who are cheated on or abused by women. That's why they use the word cuckold as an insult. They also think that a man who is in a position to be treated this way by a woman deserves it just like you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 06:42 PM
–

They really don't though. It's a lot more obvious when you think about how teenagers or disabled people have no where to go anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 06:36 PM
–

Society in general is suffering from a lack of 3rd places. Life can't just be work and home. This isn't just about dating either. We can't organize or socialize as a community anymore. In the old days, people would go to church, clubs, the mall, cook outs, and other places that exist mostly so people can hang out in person. It's a big reason social media is so popular. It is a poor replacement for something society depends on.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 06:35 PM
1

To say one is to say the other. To say you are not being man like is to say you are being woman like. To hold that against you is misogyny. When a woman holds it against you for being feminine is internalized misogyny.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 05:16 PM
1

Yeah, there are guys who are just normal dudes and have the same vibe as him. You're being obtuse. This is clearly a popular type of guy for many women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 05:13 PM
1

Some women like that quite first impression. Do you people seriously think Keanu Reeves doesn't appear confident or sexy to women? The commenter I was responding to claims women categorically only like loud men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 05:00 PM
1

Oh my god, it's such a fucking ordeal to take a shower and get a woman into the mood to have sex. "You say you like food, but you won't eat this shit sandwich? Checkmate feminist!"
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 04:57 PM
2

Because I was a 17 year old girl and I also lacked confidence. I never had to do the asking before with guys. They obviously liked me. It seemed like they would ask on their own eventually. My hints were me always paying attention to them. Wrestling with them. Going places to eat together. Hanging out at eachothers apartment all day everyday.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 04:54 PM
0

Yes, traditional masculine. Man like. If you are being penalized for having qualities that are labled woman like, that is misogyny. She's saying you are feminine as an insult. As if there is something wrong with being feminine.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 04:49 PM
1

Indeed
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 04:46 PM
1

Wwll good for you. The point still stands that quite men are capable of being attractive and appearing confident.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 04:44 PM
0

Neither of us knew they were autistic at the time. I thought they were just poorly socialized.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 04:39 PM
1

Loud people are compulsively loud. They don't know when to shut up. And you don't have to be loud to speak up. Confidence isn't booming to the room "Hay!Hay!Hay!Look at me!Look!Look!Look!Look!" You can calmly and even discreetly appear confident. Imagine a guy whispering to a woman in a crowded room and them leaving to be alone together.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 04:33 PM
5

I try, but they still get frustrated with me much of the time. They say it's like my vertigo. I have no instinct for balance. My inner ears are busted. I have to think about maintaining my balance on some level at all times. There are a lot of things I can't do because it's just too much to keep track of, and I get overwhelmed.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 02:57 AM
8

Sex. This isn't a mystery. If a woman wants to just be friends while also having sex, that means she wants to be friends and still have sex. Sex isn't a dog treat we pass out for good behavior. Be thankful to have friends who like having sex with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 01:15 AM
24

My partner is autistic and I had to practically beg them to take the hint and ask me out. When they did, I kissed them, and they asked if that is a yes or a no. People on the spectrum need everything spelled out to them directly, and courtship is full of subtitles and nuances. It's not something they can learn by reading about it or binge watched documentaries. It's an instinct they just don't have.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/23 01:10 AM
1

Yeah. 40% of offspring in m9st social animals are the product of "sneaky males". Everyone has seen that episode of Futurama. Seems like a successful strategy to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 11:51 PM
5

Being insecure is part of the human condition. I like feeling cute. There's nothing wrong with that. If I didn't go for guys "bellow my level," you would call me shallow. There's no winning.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 10:40 PM
1

They're queer and disabled. All they have going for them is whiteness and maleness. Those are not rare qualities. They're good-looking, but not more so than most male presenting people. What makes people jealous is that my spouse is my best friend and they treat me like I'm the most beautiful woman on earth.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 07:00 PM
2

I get all that, but if I were extremely bitter about a guy saying he didn't owe it to me to get me off, go on nice dates, or stay in a relationship with me, I would be sabotaging any chance of him wanting to do those things. That's what my SO does. It's always this passive-aggressive. "I'm not saying you have to do it. I'm saying that if you were sorry, you would want to do it." Even if that's true, it's still a mood killer. It's a catch 22. It's like when you're a kid and your parents say somet…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 06:51 PM
1

Orphans have dead parents, not bad parents. Your explanation can be used to justify slavery and cannibalism too. Really, we're idealistic freaks for not being slavers and cannibals, and historically, this anomaly shouldn't last long.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 06:36 PM
1

Damn. Let me try.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 06:32 PM
1

I don't expect to have the same values, I just enjoy the enthusiasm and relative safety.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 06:31 PM
3

Then don't. Good luck finding a woman who has no desire to feel desirable. I'm sure that'll be fun.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 06:24 PM
1

And history has shown that people will often willingly raise offspring that isn't their own. Even animals do this. If your paternal instincts switch off when you learn that your children were the product of infidelity, you never formed a real bond with those kids in the first place. If I have kids, I want them to be raised by someone who will stick around because that person loves me and our children. Not because their ego is wrapped up in the idea of preserving their bloodline.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 06:21 PM
1

That includes not dating guys who have weird sexual hang-ups and expecting it to be a satisfying relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 06:41 AM
1

That's not been my experience. My spouse has never been high status, but a few women have tried to take my SO from me because they're jealous of how I'm treated. Most women know we're not going to marry into wealth. Life is not a fairy tale, and I'm not Cinderella. In the real world, you need a best friend you can have sex with. The alternative is being alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 06:37 AM
3

Look, we're arguing about what's worst of two bad things.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 04:44 AM
9

Yeah. I know. I'm just being honest about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 04:31 AM
6

What do you think it means, some sort of vigilante shit? You call someone out for doing something fucked up. It's not a big ask.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 04:30 AM
1

Sex is part of the relationship. I don't understand what you are missing about this. I don't want to commit to a long term sexual relationship with someone I haven't had sex with yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 04:28 AM
5

Because that means I'm holding women accountable even if they are not my friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 03:53 AM
–

If someone wants you to wait, they will always want you to wait. They are insecure with you knowing how miserable your sex life will be in a long term relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 03:53 AM
–

Sure you can. You can ask and criticize all you want. If someone is dating to get a roommate, they can go go fuck themselves or be upfront about wanting to be in a sexlless relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 03:47 AM
–

That goes for guys lying about their intentions, too. This has nothing to do with my judgment. You just want women to be stuck in relationships with bad lovers.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 03:43 AM
–

Does that mean nothing should be done about all of those stabbings? Because that's the subject at hand. Telling people to be less prone to getting stabbed is a pro stabbing position.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 03:36 AM
–

I think the guys who want this are the same. They want women to be stuck in a serious relationship before finding out that the sex will be awful.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 03:27 AM
3

I argue with strange woman all of the time about how they see men. Sometimes on this subreddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 03:24 AM
–

People don't date to find a roommate. If I want to be with someone long term, I'm going to want to have regular and enjoyable sex with them. You just want someone to be stuck with you without any expectation of getting off. You have no guarantee of that interaction being continuous, either.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 03:22 AM
1

Why? That's completely arbitrary.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 03:16 AM
–

That's still blaming the victim. Most people who have been abused are desensitized to it and think it's normal. You're basically saying anything goes because no one ever gets hurt unless they fail to stop it from from happening to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 03:11 AM
1

How so
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 03:08 AM
–

You could say that about anything as an excuse. Like, don't go outside if you don't want to be stabbed. Don't breathe if you don't want to inhale secondhand smoke. Don't go into the water if you don't want to swim on toxic waste.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 03:08 AM
–

That goes without saying. I'm talking about situations where there is genuine deception, not just an unclear future. It's no different than when men complain about being led on and people jump down your throat, saying you're not entitled to sex. You aren't entitled to sex. That doesn't mean that there are never times when you are actually being led on.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 03:05 AM
–

By that logic, you only have yourself to blame if you keep getting used by women for attention and free stuff because you are getting strung along to prove you're not only interested in women for sex. If I don't have the right to say people should just be more honest, your opinion doesn't matter either. No one is impressed by your lack of empathy. That's a disease, not an argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 02:59 AM
–

Because part of learning if someone is right for a relationship is learning if they are sexually compatible. Someone waiting until after they are sure before having sex is going to be in a dead bedroom relationship. You'll end up in love with someone who hates sex or has some sort of fetish that you can't get on board with. Also, I like sex. It's okay to like sex. It's not just for hookups. You shouldn't have to choose between hookups and abstinence.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 02:55 AM
5

Oh. Lol. Hi. DM me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 02:37 AM
–

I might be focusing on sex because I also like sex. I know I can't control men's commitment to me. What I want is honesty about intentions. Hook-ups are fine. What's not fine is lying. I think that's a pretty uncontroversial position.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 02:37 AM
–

Why? Why would anyone want that? Why not a year? Why not wait until I'm going through menopause? Why would you want to wait a month just so I can filter out guys who are not willing to waste their time? Let me give you some advice. If a woman makes you wait, you will be waiting for the rest of your relationship. She is telling you that sex is disposable to her, and you are beneath her for caring about it more than she does. Have fun with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 02:31 AM
3

?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 01:46 AM
2

If you're a good guy and your wife doesn't treat you right, other women will criticize her because they will be jealous and think she's taking you for granted. I have friends who tell me to treat my partner better all of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 01:38 AM
–

Obliviously, those are not the women complaining about it. What you're talking about is women complaining about guys claiming to want a relationship when they really just want a hookup. I shouldn't have to date a guy forever before having sex with him just to make sure he is serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 01:33 AM
8

Oooo, the bloodline! Oh no, what will we possibly do about the consequences for the bloodline? What are those consequences? If the guy raising the kids sees them as his children even after knowing they are biologically decended by someone else, then what are you worried about? Who cares about bloodlines? This isn't some vampire fiction where you get different powers depending on your lineage. It means nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 12:57 AM
10

Not everyone is going to get a DNA test just to see if their mothers cheated. Normally, by the time you're taking that much of an interest in your genealogy, your parents should be in a better place or broken up already. People move past cheating. Especially when it was a long time ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 12:39 AM
8

Cheating men father their own bastards. At least a child raised by a cuckold has two parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 12:32 AM
1

I feel like you're missing the point. One can be seen as confident without being loud.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 12:31 AM
2

It means she wanted to fluff her ego and other base desires. We're nothing but animals just like you. I did it because I can. It was fun. I'm still with my partner and have been for 14 years. Women cheat and stay all of the time. Just ask anyone who found out as adults that their dad isn't really their father.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/23 12:17 AM
1

Sure they can. They just need to learn how to be assertive.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 11:54 PM
0

I did it for them all of the time. I just don't like doing it for my partner. I'll do it for a minute, but I don't like feeling like I owe it to them to give them a full bow job.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 11:53 PM
3

Lol. I'm pretty upfront.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 11:34 PM
8

I only ever cheated out of lust. I didn't even like the one I did it with the longest. When I suggested to my SO that we open our relationship so they can know what it's like to get their dick sucked (I won't do it for them), they formed an emotional attachment to the other woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 11:26 PM
1

I think she's just gaslighting.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 10:09 PM
1

I do, it is a guy who is quite. Like my dad, who is married and rarely, if ever, has long conversations. You're just making excuses to talk too much. You have been rambling for a while now, and it doesn't make me like you or think you are confident. You're just stubborn and obnoxious. That's not attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 09:11 PM
1

Exactly. I'm sorry to hear that, but thanks for backing me up. Men do not have a problem with short women as sex partners. I imagine them insulting tall women is just negging, and they would still be happy to have sex with one, but that's just an assumption, to be honest.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 09:05 PM
1

Not everyone wants long, frequent conversations. Introverts do exist, and most of them get into relationships. Ideally, with other introverts. Like, what do you want? You're not willing to just agree to disagree, and I'm not going to lie to shut you up. You're wrong. Get over it. I'm a woman. I talk to other women. It's common for women to like quiet men. Die angry about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 08:59 PM
1

Because you can still do that with minimal talking.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 08:37 PM
1

Whatever. Have fun being wrong. Just ignore a woman telling you that not all of us want to hear you run off your mouth 24/7.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 08:28 PM
1

No, they will call you annoying. Not every woman wants a guy who talks a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 08:24 PM
1

OK then
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 08:09 PM
1

That's not how you phrased it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 08:01 PM
1

There is a spectrum between silence and loud. You can talk quietly. You can talk rarely. Like people who are typically referred to as quite, for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 08:00 PM
1

Quite isn't the same thing as mute. Introverts still talk, just not as much.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 07:55 PM
1

You're being obtuse, and again, that's not bluntness. You Saud that if someone is decent, they wouldn't be a virgin.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 07:54 PM
5

You literally equated trauma with being indecent
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 07:47 PM
9

It's the cost of living and the criminalization of poverty. You'll have your kids taken away if you try to raise them in a single income home with an average job. Especially if you're out of work for a while.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 07:35 PM
1

No, it's not. Source, I'm a woman. All of those other qualities I brought up can still be present in a man who is quiet, and a lot of women like that combination. The problem isn't quietness. It's nervousness. You can be loud and nervous. You can be quiet and confident. If you are, some women will think it's hot.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 07:21 PM
6

It is, but it's also good not to place a moral judgment on people for needing that support. Most people with that sort of trauma already live with a lot of misplaced shame and guilt already.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 07:17 PM
1

Virgin women in relationships are usually holding out for marriage, and expect the guy to be a virgin too. Most women are really insecure about being compared to other women their lover has slept with. Especially ones who hold onto their virginity while expecting their partner to be in a monogamous relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 07:14 PM
1

It really is a kiss of death for most women if you have an STD. That's not worth whatever sex you can have with the guy. You can ask how many men a woman has been with all you want. She may hold it against you if you hold it against her. She may even refuse to answer the question. But you can ask. Someone being a virgin is a lot different, though. A woman with a lot of sexual partners might have high expectations and the confidence to find someone to fulfill them. A woman with no sexual partners…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 06:57 PM
2

Right? Guys are very vocal about liking short women. I have never heard a guy say it makes us less attractive. I've heard other disparaging things men say about short women, but nothing to indicate a lack of attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 06:32 PM
1

I don't think it's that extreme. I'm sure most women wanting a casual hook up want a guy with more experience, and really anyone who is dating a virgin should be curious why that person is a virgin, but most women don't expect a man to be that good at sex starting off. It would be nice, but ultimately, we have to teach them what we like and hope they follow through on it. A guy who has only been with three women still needs to be taught what to do to please me. He may as well be a virgin. Also, …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 06:30 PM
1

Because the quiet or loud part isn't what's important. If you're quite, and strong, some women will like that. If you are loud and strong, some women will like that too. My point was that being loud doesn't make you look confident. It makes you look loud. Without confidence backing it up, you look like a yapping little dog. Like you're desperately trying to prove something.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 06:17 PM
11

That's not bluntness. If anything, it's obtuse. Someone who has emotional problems isn't a bad person. There isn't something wrong with them. They just need support. My partner is autistic, and they are extremely blunt because of it, but they would never say that trauma makes you a bad person. By your logic, a woman with some sort of trauma that makes it difficult to date her is morally deficient. That's most of us. A guy who can't deal with a woman with trauma shouldn't act like there is someth…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 06:14 PM
-1

When we do take a more active role, men either assume there is something wrong with us or take things too far. As it is, it's a lot of work putting ourselves out there and staying safe. We can't look too desperate, but we can't look too unattainable either. I have to wait until the guy has proven that I can trust him before I get to do anything sexual. It's all actually very frustrating.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 06:06 PM
1

When we do take a more active role, men either assume there is something wrong with us or take things too far. As it is, it's a lot of work putting ourselves out there and staying safe. We can't look too desperate, but we can't look too unattainable either. I have to wait until the guy has proven that I can trust him before I get to do anything sexual. It's all actually very frustrating.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 06:06 PM
1

We don't like loud and weak either. I didn't mean strong as in physically strong. For one, anyone can become physically stronger. But more importantly, you can become resilient and dependable. It's okay to be quite a project an aura of dignity and grace.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 05:49 PM
-2

I prefer virgins. I sucked off 5 of my virgin friends in high-school everyday and two of my roommates for years. One of these roommates was a 24 year old virgin and full-on incel. My partner was a virgin when we met 14 years ago. I would still be happy to take a guys virginity (we're in an open relationship). Some women don't like having to teach virgin guys or risk them getting too clingy. Or they think the guy is going to be exceedingly bitter. I like the enthusiasm and the opportunity to be t…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 05:45 PM
1

Anyone can be strong, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 05:31 PM
11

But you are also validating the opinion that they fear all women have. There is no need to make this a moral judgment. That's just knowingly cruel. It would have been better to stay with the assumption that a virgin man in his 30s probably has some sort of trauma that you don't trust yourself to be sensitive about. Honestly, that would also be true of a virgin woman in her 30s.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 05:14 PM
23

I prefer virgins. 7 out of 9 of my sexual partners were virgins. 5 of them were shorter than me. Virgins are less likely to have an STD. They're extremely thankful and have a pent-up flood gate of frustrated sexual repression just dying to be directed and shaped by me if I am the first one to show them what sex is like. Really, it's the same reason a lot of men prefer virgins. I like being first. I'm 31, and I'd still be happy to take someone's virginity. I think it's a huge honor.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 05:04 PM
1

Yeah, and they don't complain about women being short. It's not something they care about. They do not care about our height. At all. It is, in fact, shallow to make a big deal about a guy being short. That's why they fixate on it so much. It's like breast size. It would be shallow to not date a woman only because of her breast size, and women with small breast are not being irrational when they think it limits their options and the number of guys who find them attractive. Guys should be more op…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 03:38 PM
2

I like short guys. They're right at boob level. I can bounce around right in their faces.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 03:29 PM
1

She's not insulting you for being man like.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 03:27 PM
1

Or the men for that matter. Men are usually pretty upfront about what they do and don't like. Normally, too upfront about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 06:48 AM
2

I've heard women make a big deal about it. I personally have no problem with short men. I like tall men. But guys are either tall or they are not. However, even that is a stronger feeling than the level of indifference guys show for women's height.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 06:13 AM
1

Wow, lol. Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 05:35 AM
3

I think that's pretty disingenuous. On both claims. More women have a preference for tall men than men do for tall women. More men may prefer tall women to short women, but I doubt it's a deal breaker for most of them. Even if being short was treated as something that is generally seen as unattractive in women, and some of these women were belligerent about it, there would still be guys who are basically chasers for short women. That's not the world we live in. Most guys are fine with fucking a …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 05:22 AM
–

True enough, but in general, it's not worth noting to just look.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 04:33 AM
1

It's okay to be fun and have a sense of humor. People won't take you more seriously because you're boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 03:37 AM
1

It's gay to stand up for yourself?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 03:35 AM
1

I've never heard this phrase before. It sounds homophobic and like internalized misogyny.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 03:31 AM
1

Well, I'm just trying to be nice
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 02:58 AM
1

Do you want to DM me about it?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 02:46 AM
1

Well then, you probably have other problems. I am just telling you that being loud won't fix them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 02:39 AM
2

Well good then
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 02:30 AM
2

That's brutal. I didn't say these fears were invalid. Society expects men to repress your emotions. You will be punished for trying to illicit sympathy from others. Society doesn't mentally prepare us to be sympathetic twords you because you are not allowed to have feelings. It's no different than how we are conditioned to suppress our sexuality. I would be shamed for being horny or wanting sexual attention as being a slut. Men and women are denied our birth right to have a full human experience…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 02:11 AM
3

Yeah. It's fucked up, and you should throw it in their faces when a woman does that instead of venting your spleen about it at every woman on the internet. And some people need to be told to say nice things to people. It should go without saying. We don't live in should land. The fact is, women learn that complementing a guy often will be taken the wrong way. Even your partner will think saying something nice about his body means you're going to have sex within the hour. It creates a vicious cyc…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 01:59 AM
–

You know, you can just look at someone's crotch. It's not magic. I can clearly see that some guys have bigger dicks just like they can see that I have bigger boobs. Sometimes, you can get faked out by a guy with big balls, but normally, it's a dick.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 01:46 AM
3

Did you say you want compliments? If she insulted your masculinity for wanting to feel desirable, that's her reinforcing toxic masculinity. It's homophobic to call you gay and it's misogyny to call you soft or sassy. Using them as insults implies being gay or feminine are bad things to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 01:39 AM
3

I'm sure you've also seen us complain about loud, obnoxious, arrogant assholes too. I'm telling you something helpful here and you're being contrary. It's not about being confidant as much as it's about not being unconfidant. I need you to trust yourself if you want me to trust you.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 01:35 AM
11

I don't know if you pay attention to the news, but most politicians, generals, and ceos are still men. If you think more men should be teachers, then go teach. There is a major shortage of teachers because it's an undervalued job. Also, most single moms don't want to be single. You could date them. Hell, you could avoid getting women pregnant if you can't keep from pissing her off so much that she would rather be a single mother than stay with you. We're burying the lead here. You hate men. Like…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 01:30 AM
2

It's really context dependant. Talking too much doesn't look confident either. Imagine someone installing a complex appliance in your home. To you, it's would be an all-day project, but they just fuss with it for a minute and leave before you can get them a glass of water, taking more time and effort to just get you to sign off on their work. They don't need to razzle dazzle you. You can see how good they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 01:13 AM
4

I think it's pretty obvious they are comparing our standards for them to their standards for us. They're saying it's like when we say they only want thin women because of the fashion industry pushing anorexia. The solution to that problem is for men to challenge themselves to develop a type that is more attainable and less problematic than a super model. What the comparison doesn't account for is that traditionally, women had very little say in who our partner is for most of history. It was norm…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 01:05 AM
6

A lot of women want that. Confident doesn't mean loud. It means you're not nervous. When you're stressed out, it stresses other people out. If you're nervous and you're trying to get me to go on a date with you, it makes me think you're planning something I wouldn't be okay with if I knew what it was. I understand that asking someone out is stressful itself. I understand that rejection hurts. It's still unsettling when a guy lacks confidence. It's like how you would want the guy who is cooking y…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 12:37 AM
6

Guys love short women. It makes them feel big. I'm 5'5, but I have seen more tall women complain about men being intimidated by their height than short women who can't get dates because they are short. They get made fun of, sure, but it doesn't stop them from getting dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 12:26 AM
2

Clothes for smaller women are cheaper to manufacture and are easier to model. A top that looks fine on a model would look radically different on a woman with larger breasts, or a belly, or bigger arms. If all models are super thin, clothing designers can make an outfit without having to worry how it would look on different models with different body types.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 12:23 AM
-1

Quite? You have never heard of the strong, quiet type? The brooding byronoc hero smoking in the corner?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 12:12 AM
1

That's just not how attraction works. It's a spectrum, not a hard binary. Like, I prefer muscles. My partner has been working out more this last year or so, so I find them more attractive. They're also losing their hair, which makes them less attractive. They have been dressing better and working on accommodating for me sexually, which makes them even more attractive than before. They are never going to be as attractive as a 7 foot tall model with a dick like a paper towel core, but I only need …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/23 12:08 AM
0

My standards are not unrealistic. I have an ideal of what I would prefer, but there is a wide gulf between what I prefer and what I'll be happy with. My partner of 14 years is going bald and just now starting to work out. They were a virgin when we started dating. I sucked off my friends in high school who were virgins. I used to do it for two of our roommates, and one of them was not only a virgin but a serious incel. None of the individuals I did anything with were even close to the idealized …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 11:55 PM
1

Those rape laws are written by old conservative men who refuse to think a woman has enough agency to rape a man. Feminist are always telling men to talk to other men instead of expecting women to be the only ones you depend on emotionally. You obviously have a lot of trauma from women, and bringing it to a bunch of women who were traumatized by men won't produce an accurate reflection of what feminism says about men's problems. Getting mad at me saying patriarchy hurts everyone is getting mad at…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 07:55 PM
1

Look, people blame mothers for shit all of the time. I had a bad mother and stepmother. My dad's biggest fault was picking his abusive wife over his children, but he was also a victim, so I can't be too mad at him for it. You're acting as if r/female_dating_strategies is the same thing as modern feminism. Feminism says the problem with society is systemic and affects everyone. It's not just a matter of men being evil. It's a matter of people being conditioned to police themselves and others into…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 07:44 PM
1

For one, father's also tell their sons to man up and don't cry. I'm glad if yours didn't, but that is a common occurrence. I can only ask you to do something that's within your power. You can choose not to teach your sons not to treat girls as something to be conquered. You can choose to tell them to make room for their feelings. You can see what you contribute and do something about it. Also, we do see how difficult it is for you to get us in the mood to have sex. You make it very clear. The pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 06:43 PM
1

That is not according to feminism. According to feminism, this is an example of how men are also oppressed by patriarchy. Men are not allowed to be vulnerable. You're expected to repress your emotions and never illicit others for sympathy. If you have no regard for your own pain, you will have even less regard for the pain of others.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 06:19 PM
1

A lot of this is perpetuated by the culture men pass down through tradition. Like how fathers are expected to hate the idea of their daughters' dating or how men treat getting to have sex with women as a series of obstacles to overcome. It's as if you yourselves see sex as something you're trying to get away with.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 02:45 AM
2

Source, please? It's rare for male rape victims to report, but I'm pretty sure the official number is dramatically different.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 02:39 AM
1

I would never want to be cold approached. Flirting is fine, but expecting me to make plans to meet you when this is the first time we've met is kinda scary.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/23 02:18 AM
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