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Ok-Software4407 Archive

View 4 posts and 24 comments by Ok-Software4407 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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17

Heartbreaking and you are not alone. The system is anti-fatherhood. My best advice is to be ridiculously present with your daughters when you have them. They will be more connected to you that way and you can have a great relationship even with less total days together—if you are super present during that time. Separately, and I know this sounds harsh, but I received this same advice and hated it at the time, yet it is true: you will adjust. I cried a lot. I felt helpless. I felt like I had been…
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 03:41 PM
7

Heartbreaking and you are not alone. The system is anti-fatherhood. My best advice is to be ridiculously present with your daughters when you have them. They will be more connected to you that way and you can have a great relationship even with less total days together—if you are super present during that time. Separately, and I know this sounds harsh, but I received this same advice and hated it at the time, yet it is true: you will adjust. I cried a lot. I felt helpless. I felt like I had been…
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 03:41 PM
1

This is my nightmare—that it is a ton of work (and should be), but ends up being enormous stress with little upside. I adore my sons and coach them nearly every day. I work very hard at my career and fitness. I have to cut something to make room for a woman. Which is potentially worthwhile . . . But also potentially just a huge opportunity cost.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 05:25 PM
1

Very much agree. My boys are my world.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 04:14 AM
1

I already had started to think in this frame work. Thanks for confirming. My evolving thoughts—never getting married again. Maybe, maybe I would have another kid. I want someone with significant career and earnings for sure so that there is no free ride business. I will definitely forgo sex to avoid having to fully support another grown adult. My current friends who interested are each 49, 50, and 51. So roughly, all ten years older. Confirming what you are saying. I do wonder what a 30 yr old w…
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/24 03:01 AM
1

Do all of your friends know you are dating when you turn on the Facebook dating gizmo? That would not be ideal.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/24 11:02 PM
2

I am definitely shorting my career to spend time with my boys. I do not regret it, but life is expensive.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 04:38 PM
3

I wonder how we are getting such different results. Three for three here wanted immediate exclusivity.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 04:32 PM
4

It does seem like they are ready to go exclusive from convo number one or two. I am like, uh, just divorced. Why would I settle down again immediately?!? Wouldn’t that be a mistake for everyone involved? I get blank stare 👀.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 12:07 PM
1

So, I see Bumble as a recommended app. What else? Thank you for the comments. I am experiencing some of the same things. Also, when you go on a date with a friend of a friend and it turns out things do not work, you can hurt existing relationships. Which is pretty terrible as an outcome. I am not nearly in the shape I want to be in, but I am not doing poorly on that front. 31-32” waist, visible abs, still have my hair, though it is receding fast, weigh 180 lbs, 5’11”. Kinda afraid to find out wh…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 11:13 AM
3

Remind yourself daily that you can be happy without a woman. Such good advice. Thanks man.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 01:32 AM
3

I do not understand (and I do not have to) the notion of abandoning your kids. I live for my boys. Truly. It is not about her or any battle with her; what she is owed or not owed. I love time with my boys. I coach them in everything, do homework, watch movies, play video games, and just genuinely love having them around. They very much want me around too—even if we have no plans. They want their dad. I get that some people view time with children as a chore. Maybe that can be changed? Maybe you …
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 04:57 PM
1

Sorry. I did not mean to offend you. Been an awful few days. I do keep getting advice that seems to be some sort of flavor of “wait until they get older.” I do not think that is right. Or the advice is like “see them for focused time every so often and go live your life.” Um, I am* living my life as their father. Sorry, not directed at you. Just others who do not get it. On other fronts, she gets along okay with the boys, but tends to become overly emotional in the face of adversity, which scare…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 08:52 PM
1

I do not understand how there is any option that can deal with “wait until they are sixteen”. I am sorry, but that is just not acceptable. They are each texting me, wanting me home. These boys need me—not trying to thump my chest or have a big ego. It is the simple truth that they need me. Everything from football preparation to going to sleep to doing homework to feeling safe to where-is-this-thing-in-the-garage. The boys need me. Waiting six years is not an option.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 04:06 PM
5

I am in a similar situation. It is incredibly hard to find a way to be happy without the kids. People who say things about more time for my career or the possibility of dating other people seem out of touch. I am a 40 yr old male. Two boys. 10 and 11. They are my whole world. Without them, there is no enthusiasm for anything. I hold onto the hope that things will be better later. It is incredibly hard to get there though. “Later” seems so far away.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 10:27 AM
1

This thread is great. I am almost 40, separated, divorcing. Two kids who are my world. I work my tail off when not around them so that I can enjoy every second with them when they are around. When would I fit in a relationship? And why would I? So scarred from my 14-yr marriage. I love women. I do not think they are all terrible. But. Some. Are. And you simply cannot figure that out quickly. Or at least I cannot. When my boys grow up more, maybe I revisit in five years. For now, life is so full …
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 11:06 AM
1

This is me almost every work day. I do not know the answer, but I know we are not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 10:15 AM
2

Thank you. Love this approach.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 10:06 AM
2

Where will we live? When? Can we help pick the new house? Where will the pets go? That is from the one who spoke. My older boy literally would not speak for over an hour. He is talking and normal now. But it was terrifying at the time.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 03:47 PM
1

Thank you. Quick question—if we have 50/50 custody and she is listed as the primary address, why does it matter if I am in the same school district? I say this because one son is in elementary school and the other is in middle school. The available options to stay in the same school district for both are the most expensive homes in the area. I would love to live next door. Just trying to make financial sense.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 09:59 AM
1

Got it. This is so frustrating. She keeps trying to play a “if you were a good person, then you would do X” card. It is BS. But this is a woman I loved for a long time and I adore my kids. So, it can get to me emotionally even though I know it is nonsense.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 11:50 AM
1

How so?
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 11:29 AM
3

She very much wants to keep the house, as do my boys. She cannot afford to keep the house unless I leave a lot of that equity with her. Big wrinkle in the whole divide by two plan.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 10:29 PM
2

Thank you everyone. We got through it. I am trying to focus on the positives for them. We have no custody plan or financial separation so a ton of the questions could not be answered (the choice of timing this was not mine). Really, thank you fellow humans. This day has been one of the hardest. Taking them for ice cream shortly . . .
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 09:17 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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