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OkEducation9522 Archive

View 0 posts and 27 comments by OkEducation9522 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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11

Don’t move out. Can you imagine kicking your wife out of the house even though you told her what was bothering you and she was taking it seriously and trying to change? Because it sounds like that’s what you’re doing and the fact that she doesn’t care might mean she doesn’t want you to succeed. I’ll explain. My ex said those same things and I did the same things you’re doing. I went to therapy. I fought like hell to change myself and be who she wanted me to be but it was never enough. I found ou…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 06:00 PM
7

My ex would be “done” every time I disagreed with her or didn’t constantly tell her she’d done the right thing. One time she backed our car into a little fountain thing someone had by their driveway. I had her back but I told her that she needed to tell the owner what happened and that we’d pay for any damage. She considered things like that betrayals and never forgot them. I wanted truth and accountability, she wanted a yes man. So yeah, I accept that there are many valid reasons for someone to…
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 12:10 AM
4

I would keep a few if you can find some that make you happy and delete the rest. Why would you keep something that tortures you? Personally I kept pictures of my ex that had our kids in them. I figure the kids may want to see those. If it was a picture of just her I got rid of it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 08:39 AM
3

I think there’s some truth to what he said. What he said about homemakers certainly resonated with me. My ex was a SAHM and when the kids started going to school she started watching a ton of TV and TikTok and spent a bunch of time with other women who talked about how their husbands suck. I’m not sure how true the nurses and teachers thing is. I feel like maybe the stress and long hours of those jobs would maybe be more of a factor. I think his argument wasn’t how you described it though. I hea…
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 04:42 PM
11

Dude, I’m struggling to write words that convey how much I feel the “you’re an adult for fucks sake” thing. Same situation. I was burning myself out doing the same things you listed. I was somewhat okay with it knowing that with our young kids it was just a tough time that we’d get through if we kept pushing, but she kept saying she needed to be first. In my mind, she could either have me as a mule to do all the tasks for her or she could step up and pull some of the weight and maybe that would …
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 09:12 AM
3

I’m with you. I can’t imagine being married again with how deceptive and destructive my ex was. The peace and autonomy I gained after the divorce would be difficult to risk again.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 08:47 AM
15

Yeah, my ex treated me like shit (affairs, manipulation, emotional abuse, smear campaigns, etc) for the last 3 years of our marriage. Then when it was ending she said something like “I think we’ll be better friends when we’re not married.” I remember thinking how absolutely delusional that was. If any friend of mine had done even a fraction of what she’d done they would never hear from me again and I definitely longed for for the time I’d never have to see or talk to her again. Turns out they we…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 08:37 AM
5

Not to be rude, but I don’t think you get it at all. Different men invest different amounts into their relationships. If you’ve only ever seen relationships as a way to get consistent sex, you’re not going to experience a breakup the same way as someone who wanted to have and be a partner for life. I was raised in a high-demand religion. Marriage wasn’t just for life but for eternity. I see things differently now, but I still value the bond of intimacy that a relationship brings over the sex. So…
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/25 07:45 PM
5

I feel like the overwhelming sadness part has gotten a lot better for me and my emotions have stabilized which has been huge. The disconnect from the world you mentioned has only gotten worse though. It is so lonely but until I can learn to trust people again, I don’t really know what I can do about it. It sounds like you’re in the thick of it. I think you’re doing the right thing reaching out. I hope you have people in your life who really listen and will help you through this.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/25 05:01 AM
5

I held on for years for my kids and fear of the unknown (how will others see me, how will I see myself, will I make it financially, etc). I wish I could tell you how to be strong but I was weak too and my ex ended up being the one to call it. All I can say is I wish often that I would’ve had the strength to divorce her at any of the many points my ex proved she didn’t care about me. I don’t have a lot of close friends but have a very supportive family. It’s been so lonely sometimes but also unde…
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/25 03:43 AM
4

I didn't have one single recipe that I used but would try different ones every year. That being said, this is the one I made most recently and I liked it: The Best Homestyle Cinnamon Rolls Gluten-Free - Delight Gluten-Free If you haven't made GF cinnamon rolls before, it's tricky stuff. If you get your ratios wrong, use the wrong type of flour, knead the dough too long, don't let it rise enough or at the right temperature, or generally just look at it the wrong way it will all turn into a sticky…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 06:58 PM
7

Thanks. You’re a wiser man than I was. In hindsight, it’s so obvious that I should’ve left sooner but I held on because I was scared of what divorce would mean for our kids. It wasn’t worth it. The kids are fine but I don’t know if I’ll ever trust being in a romantic relationship again after passing through the toxic hellscape that was the last two years of my marriage. Boundaries really are the answer and I think the one you described is a great one. I was raised Mormon and boundaries aren’t re…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 06:27 PM
27

My ex discovered TikTok during the Covid outbreak and was on it all the time after that, so much so that the image that usually comes to mind when I think of her is her doom scrolling on the couch. Her feed was full of those videos that would bash on husbands in the name of female empowerment. She actually made one about me once. Despite not feeling well, I had busted my ass on Mother’s Day. I made every meal including gluten free cinnamon rolls which was a yearly tradition, and kept the kids oc…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/25 05:55 PM
3

That is disgusting. So sorry they have to go through that. My ex isn’t that bad but has always struggled with accountability. I caught her cheating and it absolutely wrecked her narrative that she was perfect and everybody else was the problem. Our couples counselor calling her out on it absolutely rocked her world. Rather than accept the situation and that she’d messed up so that she could grow from it, she’s doubled down on proving that she was justified because I was so awful. My kids were re…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/25 05:13 AM
3

Yeah, wish I would’ve seen it sooner. Hard to see in the moment sometimes, especially since the earlier years of our marriage were good.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 10:08 PM
1

She definitely had a lot of narcissistic tendencies. I’m just grateful I don’t have that crushing weight on me anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 10:07 PM
6

That is so shitty. I’m sure it hurts when all your effort and loyalty are disregarded on just hearing the opinion of a neighbor. My ex was similar. She was ruled by her emotions and wasn’t good at thinking critically. She didn’t seem to have the capacity to challenge new ideas (especially if they were popular) or even the patience to take the time to explore them. So she was constantly accepting whatever people said that made her feel angry and victimized. I feel sorry for her honestly. I do hop…
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 07:28 PM
23

Sorry you’re going through that. I remember that pain well. My ex did the same to justify her affair. She couldn’t handle being the bad guy in her narrative so that meant I had to be. She wasn’t having an affair because she had a weak character and her loser friends were telling her to, it was because her husband was a covert narcissist whose every action was part of a conspiracy to make her miserable. Once she had this mindset, everything seemed like evidence to her to support it. She stopped s…
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 05:47 PM
11

Good job reaching out. You’re not alone. I’m no expert on this stuff but I’ve felt the desire to not live anymore and I’ll share what has helped me. Reach out for help whenever you can. It can be a therapist, or a family member, or friend, anyone. A neighbor that I have barely talked to before asked me how I was doing the other day and I told him I’d been divorced recently and I felt like the biggest idiot for dropping that truth bomb on someone I barely know. He told me that he’d been divorced …
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 05:49 AM
4

It’s hit or miss for me. I’ve had some respectful discussions there but whenever I’ve tried to respectfully share the frustrations I’ve experienced as a man in divorce I get downvoted. For the most part, I don’t feel they are looking for men’s point of view or to consider other perspectives besides the ones that align with their own.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 04:45 AM
6

This is timely. I’m dealing with this today. She seriously will never admit that she made a mistake even when I provide evidence. I’m not even doing it to punish her, I just want her to honor an agreement we made months ago. She’ll act clueless despite all of her own texts I’m sending her as proof and then when I express controlled frustration she clams up and acts like she’s a victim. I really think you just have to go cold on them and just keep to the legal stuff in the divorce settlement. Don…
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 04:33 AM
4

Yeah, very much so. My STBXW had an emotionally abusive stepfather and it very much affects her to this day. I think it’s common for people to go back to the time of their traumatic event when something reminds them of it. I believe it’s what killed my marriage. Something I was doing was reminding her of her stepfather, even though I hate the man and did everything I could to not be like him. Slowly turning into her enemy despite all my efforts to prove to her that I loved her was the worst thin…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/25 09:23 AM
3

Just finished a successful mediation with attorneys. I’m at about $6200.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 11:07 PM
16

I believe my STBXW was influenced very heavily by friends and social media into believing that if someone isn’t pampering you constantly that they don’t deserve you and that doing what’s right for yourself should be regarded higher than any kind of loyalty to others. I worked hard in our marriage to provide and help with chores and raise our children but at some point that wasn’t enough for her. She was probably right to not be satisfied. There did seem to come a point where I realized I had not…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 07:32 AM
5

I can let you know soon. I am divorcing in Utah with 4 kids. I make similar to you but STBXW doesn’t have a degree and hasn’t worked much. Just started meeting with an attorney in preparation for mediation. She told me similar stuff but added that our problems were my fault because I wasn’t changing to save the marriage. Found out later she was cheating. I still struggle to fathom the cruelty. Anyway, I’d start by getting a consultation with an attorney. I’d also try to find a way to get 50/50 c…
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 07:59 AM
24

So sorry, brother. 13 years and 4 kids. She kept telling me that I wasn’t putting in the effort required to save our marriage and then I found out she’d cheated with 2 different guys. She still thinks she’s the righteous one, a great woman who was required to make hard choices. The delusion is unreal.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/24 04:55 AM
1

13 years married but things started falling apart at 10.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 05:37 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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