Ok_Barnacle_3455 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
5	Perspective Needed		Ok_Barnacle_3455	/r/Divorce_Men	02/12/25 03:35 AM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Perspective Needed I appreciate that. My current semester from hell is almost over and it will get easier for me to help etc. I do not want to make a rash decision during a very difficult time. It is hard for me to believe it will actually get better but I should probably wait and see how things are when times are a little easier	/r/Divorce_Men	02/12/25 02:56 PM
1	Perspective Needed It was horrible. We were in the hospital for two weeks. 4 days of inducement went nowhere and they did a c section. Probably the hardest part was the nerve damage that led to no use of legs for a week and inability to walk for a couple. I appreciate the input and can’t disagree. I do feel like it is a terrible time to make a big decision like this but it’s been really hard. I do push at times but there are a lot of other times I really don’t want to fight and we still end up in one.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/12/25 02:54 PM
4	Perspective Needed Man I have said that I felt more like a parent than a husband dozens of times! It really is a perfect summary of the relationship. The fucked up thing is I’d probably be ok with doing all the work and providing all the financial needs if the emotional part was there. If she was grateful and complimentary and acknowledged the complete imbalance but told me how strong I was to take care of her and our son I’d be her servant for life lol. It is crazy to me that she’s got the golden fucking ticket a…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/12/25 05:54 AM
3	Perspective Needed I appreciate the prayers and empathy my friend and will return the favor. One thing I learned from being a combat veteran is you’ve gotta talk to someone who has a similar experience or you feel isolated and insane. I cannot blame you at all for not leaving. Even now I’d say there’s a 50-60% chance I stick it out for my son and my oath. I have never felt the old saying “most men live lives of quiet desperation” more than right now. I struggle between conviction that this isn’t right and I should…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/12/25 05:50 AM
3	Perspective Needed Man I feel your pain. I can’t say that my wife was any different prior to being married. She’s always been spoiled but at least before our baby she admitted that I did the majority of the work and she needed to do more. Now that she has more responsibility than she’s ever had before she can’t fathom that it still isn’t a normal amount. I tried to be clear about how hard it would be after having a baby and she swore she could handle it as long as she didn’t have to work. I should have known bette…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/12/25 05:39 AM
2	Perspective Needed Appreciate the perspective. I was actually doing quite well with that approach prior to having a baby. I just shouldered the majority of the load and told myself I should because I can. I felt like it was still uneven and not an ideal marriage but hey one can’t expect equality. Having a baby, law school, and my own health challenges changed things. A part of me wants to wait it out bc things will inevitably get easier but another part of me can’t believe my wife’s lack of empathy or compassion f…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/12/25 05:28 AM
2	Perspective Needed I started the book at some point but never got far. I’ll make the time. I probably have lots of Mr. Nice tendencies but I am certainly not a doormat lol. I saw the manipulation aspect of our marriage early on and it does not work on me anymore. I am clear about what I need and want and her lack of effort in providing it. If I wasn’t I don’t think I’d get shit thrown at me lol. I try to balance empathy for her issues with firmness in what I need. I have tried this transactional strategy a few tim…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/12/25 05:25 AM