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Old_Luck285 Archive

View 1 post and 497 comments by Old_Luck285 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

Nah, I think people should treat hetero sex like it creates babies and you know, a life might depend on it. But it would be a tiny step into the right direction if people at least talked about the "what if" before they jumped into bed.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 08:51 PM
1

But if you agreed to what I said (and on another occasion the rape example), your definition of "bonding" becomes so broad it's basically meaningless. I bond as much over sex as doing the dishes (even more so in the case of the latter if it's about doing a shared chore, accompanied by playful banter or deep talk). Does that make doing the dishes together a universal "bonding activity" now, too? I doubt it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 04:05 PM
2

As long as you tell that any partner before you have sex... But I somehow doubt you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 02:42 PM
1

I don't think this is a universal truth but how you feel about sex. I'm a woman who's low libido, perhaps some flavour of asexual and avoidant. Damn, I wish the angels would've started to sing when I had sex in my previous relationships. But the bonding magic didn't happen. Once the initial hornyness had worn off, sex became an activity among many others. And since I didn't find it that rewarding, a rather tedious one, too. Btw too often, seeking sex is seeking validation from a partner. I don't…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/25 01:22 AM
1

Betraying your partner like that (the risk of transmitting an STI alone!) exempts such a partner from being a good one. What's next? Arguing Mr. Pélicot was a good husband? Because when he wasn't raping his unconcious wife, he was an attentive husband?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 07:38 PM
2

If we continue living the boyfriend/girlfriend lifestyle (seperate apartments, bank accounts, both working), I'd even prefer to remain unmarried. However, as soon as kids, joint property or accomodations made for your partner enter the picture, there needs to be a legal framework that especially protects the economically more vulnerable partner (the one staying home with the kids, working lesser paying but family friendly jobs etc.).
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 07:31 PM
1

Yeah, and this just shows, excuse me, how stupid these men are. Especially if they push for a traditional marriage, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 07:24 PM
7

Yeah, I think the number of deeply happily married people is rather small. If I had to guess, I'd say 10%. There's a huge chunk who's doing okay. These people seem to have a pragmatic approach. Both wanted a family, that's their project. Emotional closeness/intimacy is okayish but since day-to-day work consumes both partners they don't notice it too much. I'd say 10-15% are in bad if not terrible relationships. Anything from roommates to daily abuse. And I mean it's fucking difficult to lead a g…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 07:00 PM
2

Thanks for this comment! Someone took their statistics class. 😌👍🏻
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/25 01:03 PM
29

The delusion calculator is interesting but deeply flawed. If you have just moderately specific requirements, you always end up with a tiny slice of the population. That's just statistics. I once restricted my search to poor, obese, old guys only and also got the delusional tag. 😄 I don't think it's delusional e.g. to only want to date people who are about the same age (+/- 5 years). But, of course, only a small percentage of people are currently in that age bracket. Then add "somewhat similar so…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 07:14 PM
0

It's honestly not that. It's that we "older" women remember how naive and impressible we were in our late teens and early twenties. How difficult it was to say no and how easy to believe that older men knew how the world worked. It's like with young starlets moving to Hollywood. You don't won't them to end up on the casting couch. Is it a problem with every age gap relationship? Of course not. But when we see that older, established guys actively look for young women because they have "less bagg…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 05:34 PM
1

How is a woman supposed to know on which men other women swept right, too? It's a problem of the underlying algorithm of the apps, mainly: - Male users outweighing the number of female users, often by far - popular users being pushed up/being recommended even more
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/25 04:18 PM
1

Yeah, you likely can't change the core compounds of your personality and it's not wise trying to attempt that as it would probably make you feel like you're living against your nature for the rest of your life. However, with introspection (on your own and/or with external help), life experience and a willingness to change, you can become the healthiest and happiest (best) version of you. E.g. therapy might also help you discern between real personality traits and mental ailments (anxiety, ADHD, …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 11:43 PM
1

I don't think you need to have slept with many different guys to get FOMO. Romance novels and social media might even be more impactful. While comparison might be the thief of joy, illusion is even more so. Substantial romantic and sexual experience might even lead to more realistic perceptions and expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 11:32 PM
1

Most people date inside their age bracket. So, your relative attractiveness stays the same (if you don't let yourself go). TRP teaches that women won't get Chad anyway as he won't commit, so that doesn't change either. The only argument I'd subscribe to is that good partners are taken off the market earlier which reduces the percentage of good parts with increasing age.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 11:25 PM
1

Close mindedness/reduced openness and ambiguity tolerance + relationship anxiety (includes low self-esteem)
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/25 11:09 PM
2

Do you honestly want duty sex? If you're unsatisfied in your relationship, you can break-up, go open or poly. You don't even need to ask your partner, you just inform them. So that they can make an informed decision if they want to stay with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 10:09 PM
–

I'll never understand some feminists' obsession with their genitals. That fixation is age appropriate in toddlers. In adults, it just just causes me an raised eyebrow. I want unsolicited information about your vulva as little as a dick pick.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 07:04 PM
7

They are raising their own children. They are not raising strangers. Yeah, but they're also raising your future hair dresser, nurse, brick layer or attorney (the better society's support, the better the outcome chances for the child). There is always the alternative. Remove all welfare and safety nets.for everyone. Sure. Thankfully most people don't support this, at least in my country. You shouldn't forget that also you might become dependent on other people's care. We're all only one accident …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 06:40 PM
3

Yes, I am morally against abortion and I hate how much it has become normalised as birth control. Therefore, I consider each unplanned pregnancy carried to term a win (as long as it's not forced). Ideally, the biological parents find it in them to raise the kid themselves. I'm opposed to abortion bans for other reasons (right to bodily autonomy, health risks). When your first thought isn't "oh, I'll just abort", men actually have drawn the longer stick concerning an unplanned pregnancy as they "…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 06:20 PM
4

These women literally raise the next generation of humans. That's doing a lot in exchange for comparatively little money. I already agreed that state funded sex robots/AI masturbation aids might be a good idea for individuals who are unable to find a human sex partner. What else do you want to hear? I'd even support such a political campaign but I'm not gonna start it for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 06:06 PM
8

Dude, the women don't get pregnant by themselves. It's not female biology but human biology. The taxpayer money goes to the child (resp. the parent raising them), created by a man and a woman. Don't pretend to be dumber than you are. I'm all for covering male biology (vasectomies, checking for prostate cancer etc.). I'm not even opposed to covering companionship AIs.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 05:33 PM
14

I want my robot husband. Where do I sign up? 😄 Or do I have to prove first that I couldn't get a real one? 😒
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 04:02 PM
0

Conflict is good, if it's done in a productive way, that means clearly articulating how you see things and what you want, then listening to your partner doing the same. This honest backbone & curiosity creates real intimacy. Being a little bitchy and toxic is not it, unless it's a game both partners enjoy playing.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 03:33 PM
18

Because women are more often single parents than men. It's biology. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 03:26 PM
22

Social security isn't restricted to women, men benefit from it as well. What has changed is that women aren't dependent on men (or their families) anymore, so men lost that leverage. Losing a privilege is not discrimination. I'm not against tax funded AI companions, if that's what the majority of people support. However, the companions also would have to be available to men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 03:12 PM
9

An income of 120k nearly puts you in the top 10% of US household incomes. That's household incomes. If you compare the income to that of other single people and especially younger ones or other women, it's even more remarkable. Unfortunately, there's a negative correlation of jobs that serve society and jobs that pay well. It's even worse: jobs that actively hurt people (finance, insurance, shady sales) often are among those with the biggest salaries. I agree with you that I wouldn't be proud of…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 03:01 PM
5

You definitely have a type, OP 😄
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/24 12:31 PM
10

People on reddit are much too eager about abortion and vasectomies for my taste. Apart from that, I think you should look more at what's a boundary ("I won't tolerate a behavior") and what's a demand ("I want you to modify your behavior"), unjustly implemented by manipulation and coercion. Men complaining about misandry often don't like that more women are having and enforcing more boundaries. They feel that since women are in more demand concerning romantic relationships, women have the upper h…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/24 08:22 PM
1

Also: Never assume that you know your partner 100%. Keep asking questions. Ask them about their dreams and fantasies. That's how real intimacy is created. You might enjoy Esther Perel's book "Mating in captivity" which adresses these exact topics.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 12:49 PM
1

Many relationships fail after the honeymoon phase but this isn't a bug, it's a feature. As you noticed, people have a lot of projections in the honeymoon phase. They see what they want to see, not how their partner really is. Once the honeymoon phase is over, you have to really look at your partner and accept them for who they are - or leave. Relationships usually fail due to the same issues that have been present from day one. It's just that your perception/tolerance has changed. What seemed li…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 12:44 PM
4

I wouldn't want to date/marry a man who feels this negatively about his job (working into an early grave, sacrificing own happiness, sanity, health, and peace of mind). This sounds deeply unhealthy and like a recipe for disaster. Someone suffering that much from their job will likely get a burnout or another mental affliction that will negatively affect family life. I'd strongly encourage/urge him to get another job, even if it pays (far) less. No amount of money is worth that little life qualit…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/24 01:08 AM
25

Maybe they view you like a puppy? Who'd hurt a puppy?
/r/seduction30/10/24 09:11 PM
3

With Adam there's the risk he's a little too active for my taste, needing constant excitement without a pause. With Jensen there's the risk that he's too rigid and inflexible with his enterprise and hobbies.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/24 08:02 AM
0

Prostitution is legal in many countries, where one can travel to should they not already live there. If you find all/most women boring, that tells more about you than them (as does the rest of your comment).
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/24 09:16 PM
0

Then fuck other guys. There's nothing wrong with that either.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/24 02:46 PM
0

False quote, lovely. I'm not personally a fan of prostitution but I realise it's a reality. And since it won't disappear, I believe it's better to legalise and regulate it. I think prostitution can be done in a safe and respectful manner. Just as a normal/good customer is grateful that there's someone to cut their hair, without looking down on the profession of hair dressers, the same should be/is possible regarding sex work. Such an honest exchange sounds much more respectful of the other human…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/24 02:45 PM
3

Or you just visit a sex worker where you can reduce the small talk to two sentences. Pretty simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/24 06:01 AM
51

I don't think IQ plays a large role. It's probably even best to be of avarage intelligence, since most people are. Being an outlier on either end of the spectrum must be more difficult. I only envy super intelligent people sometimes. It must be cool to possess super quick thinking to problem solve, but I guess it can also feel lonely when everyone around you is slower thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/24 01:25 PM
8

How does it shame sexual interest? I just think it shouldn't be the only factor. If you're not really interested in the other person personality-wise, why pretend? Some men talk like they have to endure talking to a woman to get sex. If that's the case and there's no enjoyment in flirting and getting to know the other, I'd recommend seeing a prostitute and I mean that without any malevolence.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 10:38 AM
3

When you have to feign interest beyond getting sex, you have bigger problems at hand. You should WANT to spend time with the other person.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/24 09:35 AM
1

Some thoughts: the only thing that matters is if I'm happy with how he treats me/how much effort he puts in his relationship with me. It doesn't matter how that compares to his previous relationships. If I'm happy, I'm happy. If I'm unhappy, I'm unhappy. simping/trying to buy somebody's love is a red flag. However, if he recognised his errors, grew from it and now behaves more secure, that's a plus. I don't see myself in a relationship where I cook or clean for him on the regular. Cooking togeth…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/24 10:30 PM
3

Yeah, sorry if it came across as an attack. I guess nature is just cruel. Why make women and men so different but also heterosexual.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 05:03 PM
2

That's sounds like being a slave to one's sex drive.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 04:11 PM
1

There is a cure. You do whatever makes you more secure in yourself (meditation, introspection, good friends, therapy etc.) so you don't need a woman's pussy as an emotional support pet. Or you watch as your relationship with your partner deteriotes over time because nobody wants to be the pacifier.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 04:09 PM
4

This. I think many (younger) guys have never put much thought into/explored what intimacy beyond sex can look like. This also leads to overburdening sex and thus making it less good. Instead of just giving and receiving pleasure and strengthening your bond with your partner, it's also (ab)used for validation, calming anxiety and low self-worth and the only outlet for emotions.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 09:28 AM
3

What about the companionship aspect and emotional closeness?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 09:04 AM
1

Until she falls pregnant and decides to keep the baby. I'll never understand this carefree approach to sex with its potentially life-altering consequences.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 09:02 AM
1

You can still do commitment before sex, it might just reduce the dating pool. But if you don't want the people leading with sex, that's hardly a loss. I know in a few seconds if someone is physically attractive enough that I want to sleep with them. But it takes a while to know if I also like them as a person. So, it will always be commitment before sex for me 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 08:56 AM
1

What made your first marriage different from your second? Different criteria for choosing a partner? Did you behave differently etc. Not trying to attack you, just curious.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 08:08 AM
1

I had to learn that the hard way and it was not with malicious intent. And I think this is the majority of cases. Let's not forget that blupill upbringing also applies to women: everybody and their PPD buddy tells you to give "good, avarage guys" a chance. Sure, for really fulfilling relationships, your partner needs to meet 90% of your criteria and vice-versa. And since nowadays I only want a really fulfilling relationship or will rather stay single, that's how I approach dating. But you see wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/24 06:47 AM
4

Yeah, but I think there's also a different understanding of "safe" at play. "Safe" can indeed be one of the highest female compliments. Feeling safe allows them to feel sexual*, protected and emotionally taken care of/accepted as a person. It doesn't get any better than that. That's even the case with "bad boys". Women might like making out in dark allies or the risk of being caught but she must feel safe/protected by her partner. No sane woman is aroused by unsafe men who might rape them or lea…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 12:31 PM
13

Take my poor woman's gold. That's it: men who are not intrinsically attractive (looks, personality, status) play the provider game and then are then mad when they're chosen for being the provider type. Dubious bonus points: they even hide/downplay their sexual desire and then are unhappy when they attract a low libido woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 12:21 PM
12

Yes, I understand it. Most people want to feel genuine desire/affection/love by their partner and that it's expressed in a way that registers. When I read some red pill guys stating "she needs to be young, attractive, fertile and willing to do the housework - having deep discussions and common interests is not important, that's what I have my guy friends for" I also feel repulsed. That seems too much like the partner isn't really a partner but a commodity.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/24 12:05 PM
0

I don't think it's mutually exclusive. You can do thorough filtering and still end up dissatisfied because no partner is perfect. I also think women - more often than men - conflate being unhappy in their lives (in area XY) with being unhappy in their romantic relationship. If e.g. they're unhappy in their job, they're more often in a bad mood, more often triggered by his sloppiness (that always has been there) etc. It's all connected, feeling's wise. Men seem to be better at compartmentalising …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 09:21 PM
1

If I was friends with both - the cheater and the cheated on - I'd give the cheater an ultimatum to tell their partner otherwise I'm doing it. I'm not becoming an accomplice, lying (by omission) to my other friends face. If I don't know the other people personally, it's more difficult. I think it's important to note that cheating always takes two. So, it wouldn't only be my cheating friends fault but also her affair partner. I think the best approach to convince people is by making them think and…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 09:04 PM
2

Whom you date/attract speaks volumes about you because birds of a feather flock together. If you only encounter dramatic, lying, cheating, lazy whatever partners there's a common denominator: you! Look at yourself, how you grew up and what you internalised. Maybe you've got problems with fidelity yourself and are projecting your issues on a partner, maybe you grew up in a family were you had to work for love and are expecting the same in romantic relationships (self fulfilling prophecy).
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 08:52 PM
2

When we could talk all night
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 08:44 PM
2

Rose-tinted glasses "I can change him" Fault finding tendencies
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 08:42 PM
5

Because it's better to be alone than in an unhappy relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 08:38 PM
0

Sad but true 🥲
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 08:37 PM
2

That's right and not a novel or enlightening observation without adding anything more.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 07:06 PM
1

Thank you. I understand what you're saying but I disagree - not on the meeting organically part but OLD vs. single events. Concerning the perceived higher value of online daters, I think it's a biased view. On Tinder etc. there are a small number of highly attractive people (real and bots) that get the most attention. But these people are no realistic options for a LTR for avarage people. Now, it might feel good to see one's profile among the super models and still get a match but I'd argue that…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 07:01 PM
1

You wrote "men rushed to the few better looking women". So, how would you rate these "better looking women"? Because if they're above avarage (6-7), they were more attractive than the avarage (5) guys. On a sidenote: If we're talking about physical attractiveness only, we might also keep in mind that men and women rate women's overall attractive higher than men's. It's not two normal distribution curves that match. Men's perceived attractiveness skews to the left. So, to be of equal SMV they'd h…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 06:41 PM
1

Yes, I think that's an over-simplification. I think violence in general was much more widespread and accepted than today (corporal punishment for kids by parents and teachers, kids bullying each other, spouses abusing each other verbally and physically, violence against black people, gays etc.). Women also certainly had less rights or acting on them was socially shunned (e.g. divorce). I think this unholy combination (wider acceptance of violence + less independence) led to more women being abus…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 06:27 PM
1

But if top guys only consider avarage women for casual sex, that's no loss for avarage women only interested in LTRs.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 01:27 PM
1

How's going to a singles event more desperate than online dating?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 01:24 PM
0

So, everyone, men and women alike, are just trying to date the hottest of the opposite sex? 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 01:16 PM
2

Only being able to message someone where there's a mutual like is so important. I was honestly shocked when I found out this is not how it works. I don't want to not reply to messages but I also don't want to reply to just reject them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 01:10 PM
1

This is the way. Do something useful, have a good time, spend time with new and different people, potentially find a mate.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 01:07 PM
2

I've seen a lot of sexist ads, this isn't one of them. She's just a considerate wife and he appreciates her for it. That's pretty much relationship goals. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It would also work the other way around: she forgot the gals are coming over but he's got her back. Unfortunately, I rather fear that such a behavior might be considered "simpy" by some self-proclaimed alpha guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 12:59 PM
1

Fully agree. It's a suitable outfit for 90% of occasions. It looks relaxed yet professional, shows off some nice forearm hair (sexy) and definitely makes you look like a man instead of a boy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 12:51 PM
5

I'm trying to give more context to your statement. Because in it's original form, while agree I with the gist of it, it is too reductionist to be meaningful.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 12:46 PM
10

Most men have an advantage in working physical straining jobs, so? What makes a job "gruelling" is very much up to definition. For most people, sex work absolutely meets the definition and thus most people are not interested in doing sex work. If you absolutely want to make it in the sex work/porn business because it's "easy" work, I'm pretty sure you, too, have realistic chances as the market is huge. It's probably easier for a man to make a career in sex work/porn than a woman in a physically …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/10/24 12:20 PM
2

Thank you, was looking for this comment. Why the hell would you say that to your partner?!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/24 11:09 AM
1

Sadly, I have to somewhat agree. My ex lived with his parents again as a 30-something man. Pros: - I was impressed by the good relationships he has with his parents. I'd fall into a depression if I had to move back. Cons: - Logistics (thankfully I had my own apartment and he a car so that wasn't a problem) - He had little patience/was annoyed when I had to do house work since his mom did everything for him. That lack of understanding bothered me more and more over time. - When we were invited to…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/24 03:09 AM
–

Yeah, and that's your selection bias. You're interested in casual sex, so you meet women who've into casual sex. I find it interesting that many men believe in all sorts of statistics except the number of sexual partners, even when repeated studies come to very similar results. Concerning my social circle and immediate environment, I can absolutely subscribe to the notion that most women are not into having lots of casual sex. Do I know some who are? Yes, but they're far and few between. But I'm…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 02:23 PM
3

This. You can also acknowledge that other people have different morals/preferences without viewing them as lesser. E.g. let's say I want a partner who's comfortably monogamous. He can still acknowledge that some people are poly and not negatively judge that. Or - if he's against poly in general - I'd like to hear some well thought out arguments. "It's disgusting and therefore should be illegal" and "These people are degenerates" (devaluing whole person instead of certain behaviours) seems intell…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 12:52 PM
5

For me, someone with a good/fitting/attractive personality would be: good self-image: overall likes who he is and is confident in his abilities reliable, keeps his word openness to new experiences non judgemental but with firm moral compass self-reflective and accountable communicates wants and feelings in a healthy manner (no sulking, passive-agressiveness or stone-walling) takes serious issues seriously, doesn't shy away when the couple needs to talk about them (what if we have a disabled kid?…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/24 11:31 AM
15

Cluster B dating each other 👌🏻
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/24 02:01 PM
113

Because little is as unattractive as neediness/desperation. It's not about ignoring them but being outcome independent.
/r/seduction04/10/24 03:59 AM
0

How? Sexy/unsexy and good/abusive are exclusive opposites. Schrödinger's guy? 😉
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 05:23 PM
13

Then she's not your woman, if it's a hard no from her and it bothers you too much.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 02:09 PM
5

This. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 02:03 PM
10

There's more house work to do than just the cleaning twice a month. This comment makes no sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 02:00 PM
1

"Brawndo has what plants crave" I thought that crave could be specified but I rest my case.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 09:12 AM
1

Yes. Because the guy I replied to mentioned that he needs sex to fulfill a physical need but it's not pleasure and not validation. But it can't be connection either, as fucking someone they don't respect also is an option. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask what it is then, that sex provides. Of course, I can think of many reasons why people want sex (mainly: being close to loving partner, giving each other pleasure) but that's not it here.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 08:54 AM
5

They aren't honest if they tell themselves that they like the foreign poorer women better than the Western ones because they're "more traditional" when "really traditional " entails lots of aspects they dismiss (like man as the sole provider, influence of family, no premaritalsex etc).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 02:42 AM
0

What does sex provide, according to you, that masturbation can't if it's not validation?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 02:28 AM
1

So, would legal prostitution solve the issue? I'm still struggling to understand what it is that men gain from sex, according to you, if it's not just pleasure or validation.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 02:23 AM
2

As a low libido woman (maybe on the ace spectrum) I can ensure you that my feelings of self worth are absolutely not tied to feeling sexually desired. However, apart from sexual attraction, there are also other versions of attraction like romantic and aesthetic attraction. And I do want to be considered attractive by others in these regards.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 02:13 AM
4

No, they should just be honest with themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 02:02 AM
1

People who are rigid in their ways and show little curiosity may not be boring people per se but being in a relationship with them surely sounds boring.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 01:58 AM
-2

But is it fun being a jerk?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 01:53 AM
15

As you noticed, the order is this: Sexy+emotionally intelligent > sexy+bad boy > unattractive+emotionally intelligent > unattractive+bad boy Emotionally mature women will likely not go for bad boys. But since quite a lot of people grow up in dysfunctional families, there's no lack of women who are into guys that mistreat them. Emotionally mature men should stay away from these women, too, as it's asking for trouble.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 01:51 AM
3

There may be some women who (can) view sex as a purely physical pleasure but I think they're an absolute minority. For most women arousal is very much tied to their imagination which is difficult to achieve if they don't respect their partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 01:35 AM
1

I think nature made women the real conservatives in the sense that the individuals are more similar/around the avarage concerning the important evolutionary markers (intelligence, physical attractiveness, agreeableness). Men provide the evolutionary variety that women are supposed to pick from. Therefore, there are more criminals among men (low intelligence/impulse control + little agreeableness) but also more extraordinarily successful guys (high intelligence + varying agreeableness) compared t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 01:32 AM
1

I think it's pretty accurate and shows why women have it easier short term as well as long term: while a woman's looks is the most important criterion for a hookup, IRL men aren't very discriminatory and will fuck whoever is willing long term, it's much more difficult for men to meet the criteria women deem important (resources, status, personality) and even physical attractiveness (as men are rated more unattractive on avarage than women by both genders but especially women). Womens' game is ea…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 01:20 AM
5

But not really traditional women (= no premarital sex, strong influence of parents, rather transactional view of relationship/gender roles). So, OP is right. Those men don't want traditional treatment, they want Chad treatment: They want women who are sexually conservative out of principle but then throw these principles over board for just them with expecting little in return regarding commitment/providing. But it's often a fantasy. In the poorer countries, the women aren't more attracted to th…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 12:27 AM
5

They don't even want a true traditional wife (= listens to parents/in-laws, status is community is important, pressure to be sole provider, need to provide for extended family, likely rather conservative in bed etc.)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/24 12:07 AM
12

I'll never understand how you can want to have sex with a person while also not respecting them. That line of thinking is absolutely disgusting to me as it implies using another person as merely an object. And before you mention prostitution: I think it absolutely is possible for a sex worker and a client to respect each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 11:54 PM
4

Lying about kids is a total deal-breaker. The moment I found out, I'd be gone. That's super concerning behaviour. What else didn't he tell me? That he went to jail for nearly killing his ex?!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 11:22 PM
2

Exactly the same for me. The only case in which I would date a single dad who has barely any contact with his kids would be a father who was sidelined by the mother and eventually gave up to not further hurt the kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 07:49 PM
1

Hot single moms and celebrity single moms also can't complain about a lack of interest by attractive guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 07:46 PM
–

But don't you think that this sounds like a pretty fair representation of the single/dating population? IRL, overweight, single-parent or mildly attractive people also provide the majority of people. I think men and women and have the problem that they only want to date the top 20% of conventionally attractive people. I mean, I hear the same complaints about all other meeting opportunities. The people at the sports club, the speed-dating event and the bar also don't cut it...
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/24 12:35 PM
1

Life is unfair and people often find themselves in difficult situations without doing anything wrong. It's not about morality/guilt but responsibility. Yeah, it's not your fault for being born disadvantaged but it's your responsibility to deal with the cards you've been dealt. (This might include getting external help). Because, who's else responsibility should it be? What I want to see in a partner is that at the end of the day, they have their shit together. It's good to be angry or sad every …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 04:19 PM
1

Women leisurely caring for kids and the elderly 🤣 You know, they're your family, too. If you don't like the distribution of chores, you can also switch some with your partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 03:58 PM
1

You choose at which table you want to sit.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 03:54 PM
6

But isn't it better to lose such a partner rather sooner than later? Showing vulnerability early on might even be a good choice to weed out the emotionally stunted.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 03:18 PM
0

That's the beauty of dating in a liberal society: everybody gets to have their own boundaries. I've never doubted my boyfriends and had no problem with them spending time with female friends. And if I think about them having sex with other partners I find it rather arousing. Both preferences are "normal".
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 03:11 PM
3

Men often use sex as a method of emotional support though, counciously or - more often - unconsciously. That's when a lack of sex will hit them so hard. It's not about not getting off, it's about not feeling validated and accepted in a vulnerable state (aka emotional support).
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 02:57 PM
2

One worry less 😂 On a serious note: yeah, society is built for the avarage people.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/24 01:43 PM
4

No hookups, so can't compare. But I bet that every guy would become less attractive in a LTR to me as time goes on and when fantasy/projection has to make room for reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/24 08:34 AM
2

To me, loving someone means that we'll also make plans for my partner's wellbeing should I no longer be around (divorced, dead, whatever) and the other way around. The more our lives are entertwined, the more elaborate these plans to be. In a relationship where both partners make no significant concessions (no kids, no missed job opportunities etc.), I'd need no marriage certificate.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 09:32 PM
5

Agree. Which is a super dumb strategy to get someone to do something. At least tell them they're the best at washing the dishes. 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 09:14 PM
1

Taking an STD test at the beginning of a relationship is considered normal (as it doesn't imply cheating). After years, out of the blue - not so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 09:00 PM
3

True. And it all serves the purpose of showing that gender differences are innate and should therefore lead to different gender roles. In other words: back to the kitchen, females!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 08:54 PM
3

Yeah, and there are several other uncomfortable discussions you should have prior conception like "How do we feel about having a disabled child?" and "Would we consider an abortion? In which cases?"
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/24 08:46 PM
1

That's what you need to ask those guys. But the idea isn't that uncommon, I'd say. Many look down on people working minimum wage jobs, yet they depend on them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 08:58 PM
1

Well, I'd only take the DNA test at birth if I suspected that he cheated on me. If I found out some years down the line, I wouldn't want to lose the kid. If you want to do that, it's up to you. But you can't expect others to do that and pretend they're bad people. Sure. I just think it shows that you can't easily gender-flip many issues. Biological parentage seems to be more important to men than women (on average).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 08:56 PM
2

Should pick it up again 👍🏻
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 04:58 PM
3

Yup, these guys are dependent on someone's approval they deem lesser. This cognitive dissonance hurts.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 04:51 PM
1

And I'm not against paternity tests per se. I'm not even against tests done in secret. I merely object tests that haven't been announced prior to conception and are then rubbed under a woman's nose. And in this case, I'd argue that it is kind of a "right to privacy" issue as she doesn't want to be confronted with the unspoken accusation/prosecution. But even that wasn't enough for many guys. What they wanted was to surprise their unsuspecting partner after birth and then she needed to be A-okay …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 04:31 PM
1

That's fair.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 04:21 PM
1

Here's the kicker: if I raised that baby from birth on, I wouldn't care if it was biologically mine. I'd only want to disown the cheating/lying husband, not the kid.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 04:17 PM
3

But if a woman knew her partner cheated on her, she might leave the relationship then and there instead of investing for another 18 years of shared life.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 04:14 PM
4

I can already envision the cheapskates who get a false negative test returned. Then they passionately accuse their partner of cheating until a court-ordered test confirms it's his kid after all...
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 04:09 PM
2

None. But it's not the status quo right now. And I'd bet my money on it that none of the guys who are so passionate about paternity tests online will do anything about it in real life. Not even set up an online petition.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 04:05 PM
1

With this line of argumentation you must be against any right to privacy?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 04:03 PM
1

Yeah, but why don't you just discuss this topic before creating a child and making it part of this mess?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/24 03:58 PM
4

No. With both guys I've been with, I'm absolutely sure they didn't and wouldn't cheat. On the other hand, a single side-step many years ago that's deeply regretted doesn't concern me too much. Hell, it likely will make him more commited.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/24 09:34 PM
1

I definitely wouldn't be with a person who demands to check my messages.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 06:59 PM
1

That may be your reasoning but it doesn't mean that she'll accept it as well. The woman might still view it as an accusation of cheating. The reply to this thread and many others indicate that many women will take it as an accusation. So, waiting with your request until after the birth carries a substantial risk that the kid will grow up with divorced parents. A specific risk (of course not: divorce in general) that can be 100% prevented if the topic is discussed beforehand.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 06:53 PM
1

Sure but then don't complain if you have a child but no wife anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 06:43 PM
1

This is so important. But many people won't like it as it will ruin many opportunities of casual sex. As it should.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 06:31 PM
2

STI test out of nowhere
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/24 06:18 PM
1

Have you any sources for that last claim abou the saints?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/24 06:57 PM
15

This is a very fitting analogy 👍🏻
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 10:21 PM
–

In fantasy land, more men would date hot (!) 18 year olds with a submissive character and a thirst for kinky sex. And women would date the kind, sexy billionare guy who has only eyes for them. Just removing social shaming would not make that a widespread reality. 😄 Older women are as much afraid of guys dating (much younger) as guys aren't dating successful women because they're intimidated by them. It's just not a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/24 07:36 AM
1

Depends on how much effort he put in hiding the test. Leaving the packaging in the trash? That's just disrespectful. If it takes several coincidences at once? Okay. Edit: It's like busting a third person's surprise party. If you just couldn't keep your mouth shut, people are justified to be angry as it's just disrespectful. If the to be surprised found out due to some highly unlikely circumstances it's a different case and they may even hide that they know what's going on.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 02:07 PM
-1

It's also a very small concession to make to not rub the test under my nose. Just like I'm not rubbing under your nose that I checked the sex offender registry for your name. In this hypothetical scenario I've made it clear in the beginning of the relationship that I don't want to know about any paternity tests. If you don't agree with this "don't ask don't tell policy", you can pick another partner. I honestly don't know what we're debating at this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 02:00 PM
1

1) No 2) No 3) Depends on context 4) Depends on context Hate is a feeling and people feel what they feel. What's important is what actions follow this feeling, how this hate is expressed. If this "I hate all men" refers to the romantic context only and women decide against dating men I see no problem. Not wanting to date someone is not a problematic expression of hate. If hate leads to other forms of discrimination it might very well be an issue just as any other group-focused enmity.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 01:42 PM
0

Sure, but then it's an implicit accusation that your partner might have cheated. I'm just saying that you can't have it both ways ("just checking"). Either you think your partner's infidelity is a real risk (accusation) or you think it's not (but then it's stupid to consider a test).
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 12:39 PM
0

Okay, in that hypothetical scenario in which my partner would have stated early on that paternity tests are a must have for him, I would have told him - in general but not uncertain terms - that I think men like that should do the test in secret and explain my feelings about the issue. Since he's hopefully a sensitive and clever guy, he'd do just that, case closed. If he'd still want to discuss this topic after the birth again (Why? Am I supposed to organise the test kit?), I'd question my mate …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 12:32 PM
4

1) I disagree with your interpretation of the data "quality of living like in country A, B, C" when we're talking about country D. 2) I agree with you that adding 5 years concerning the life expectancy of men seems illicit 3) I agree with you that this study doesn't paint the full picture about men's and women's wellbeing but that no study will and that picking indicators of well-being is always somewhat arbitrary.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 10:35 AM
10

I don't think it's legitimate to read the numbers as "women enjoy the living standards of X, men of Y" when both live in Z, as you also later recognise by mentioning redistribution. In a rich country with with a thorough social net and universal health care you likely have a higher quality of living as a "poor" person than as a "middle class" person in a disadvantaged country. The whole infrastructure is completely different. Changing life expectancy numbers due to a "biological advantage" is co…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/24 08:12 AM
4

So, parents who hate parenting are 100% working and parents who also experience joy while parenting are only 50% working? Makes total sense. Not.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 08:08 PM
20

I envy men that they can be competitive and combative without involving feelings. Once the fight is over, they can drink beer together. It's tragic how often men get side-eyed when they state that they like working with children. That's pedophilia paranoia. Being considered a male loser is the absolute worst, women are never judged this harshly no matter how unattractive or unsuccessful they are. I like men's concept of loyalty. There's beauty in not reevaluating everything constantly. I envy ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 07:30 PM
4

So do men. ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 07:19 PM
6

I'm also wondering what kind of partner such a guy is going to be during the pregnancy. When you're getting an ultrasound, seeing your baby for the first time or when he holds the little one after birth will he be "all in"? Or will there be a tangible reluctance until a test has confirmed that he's indeed the father? Because I would absolutely not be interested in a partner who views our child as an uncertainty for 40 weeks.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 07:03 PM
5

I'm not telling you not to take the test. But what you seem to want is to present your partner after the birth (for the first time) with the fact that you want to take the test and she mustn't be upset about it. Sorry, but you don't get to policy other people's feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 06:52 PM
8

Maybe some women would receive this well, but it seems like this could be very damaging to a relationship or even end it. A woman might reconsider having a baby with a man who asks that. So, what makes it better to wait until she's given birth? A mindset of men that I encounter here a lot is: "I want XY but if I verbalize it, she might not want to date me anymore". Well, this is the purpose of dating! To find out if both partners want compatible things in life. Apart from casual sex, nothing is …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 06:07 PM
5

You get insurance for risks that you consider realistic enough to happen. You don't buy an insurance against vulcano damage if your house isn't in the vicinity of a vulcano. Imagine the police was looking for a serial rapist in your neighbourhood asking all men between 15 and 40 for a DNA sample. You're 45 so you don't have to provide a sample but your wife still wants you to do it so that you can prove to HER that you're not the rapist. You don't have any personal history that indicates you'd c…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 05:00 PM
24

Best option: You talk about the issue while dating and at last before trying for a pregnancy to make it clear that paternity tests are a must have for you, under any circumstances. Second best option (when option 1 has passed): You do the test in secret, no harm done. It boggles my mind how men can't see that it can be extremly painful and considered a breach of trust if you demand a paternity test seemingly out of nowhere ("Well, let's see if little Timmy here really is mine or mommy is a lying…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 09:35 AM
10

I can totally picture so many noobs doing a "secret" paternity test and then throwing the packaging away at home. 🤦🏻‍♀️😄
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/24 09:25 AM
2

It's the same with common prostitution. Most prostitutes will tell you that the men do not only come by to fuck but because they also want someone to talk to.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 09:54 PM
2

If "contributed to society" is a criterion, you can cross off many male dominated top jobs from the list, too. Thinking about it, I consider working as an OF creator a much more honest job than many positions in finance e.g.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 09:52 PM
4

Damn, that's an interesting idea. It's basically internalised misandry. Men really, really need an emancipation movement.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 05:01 PM
8

I'd want to hear the full story from his POV. The more self-reflection it entails, the better. Crazy people are rarely crazy all by a sudden. Usually, there have been signs before. "In restrospect, I should have ended things after she did XY" would be a good sign.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 03:43 PM
12

This just confirms why it's such a good idea to date in your social circle/be friends first. It's just too difficult for most people to present a false facade for months. I also want to watch how a potential partner interacts with others. After some months, it's much easier to contextualise such a story about false allegations.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 02:34 PM
9

That's a very good question for red pillers. I hope someone replies.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 02:09 PM
1

Pro-choice (USA) went from "safe, legal, rare" to "shout your abortion without apology,". PC US claims they favour a European approach to abortion but on a closer look, most of the European legislation is actually more restrictive than what PC US would accept because they don't accept any restrictions if they're honest. Most of Europe has a cut-off point after 12 weeks of gestation (except in special cases) but that's too restrictive for PC US. The pro-choice sidn the US is at least as extremist…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 02:41 AM
0

Ex: No, and that was a problem as I should learn later on Ex: Yes. But good looks, sex and personality aren't enough for me when there are no shared interests as I should learn later on.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 02:18 AM
1

I just noticed how attractive is it to guys. But I don't play games/lead people on, so nothing came off of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 10:42 AM
1

Yeah, it's incredibly easy winning guys over by seeming interested in what they say. 😄
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/24 02:37 AM
1

I assumed the SAHM part because you were talking about "frugal living". Most often this means the mother staying home with the kids to save the costs for daycare and cooking instead of eating out a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 01:50 PM
3

But what should be the Intention of marriage nowadays? I'd say it's about taking on responsibility for another adult, promising a lifelong partnership. We don't and shouldn't do a check if people have romantic feelings for each other or if they have sex on the regular. Otherwise, we'd have to exclude aromantic and asexual people from getting married which would be discrimination. Of course, you can potentially fuck up your partner's finances, just like with any "regular" marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 01:47 PM
1

I'm all for platonic life partnerships and I believe they'll be the future. If I really wanted to have kids, I'd consider sperm donation and a nice other woman/single mom to raise the kids together. And I don't know why that model isn't already more common.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 10:23 AM
1

Because your future wife will be a SAHM and work for free? I'm not saying this to provoke/insult you, that's just how this calculation usually works. It's just that if we play this model through with two friends it appears more odd.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 10:11 AM
4

This just shows how wrong it is to link health insurance to work. If people marry their best friend you gather the benefits but also be responsible for each other, I don't think that's a fake marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/24 10:08 AM
9

What do you think should be taught exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/24 09:52 AM
3

I say what I mean and I mean what I say. That's also what I expect of others. And while I will listen to the stupidest things as long as they're brought forward in a calm and rational way, I won't let people shout at me.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 10:53 AM
2

It's quite easy. What makes the opposite gender attractive: For men: physical attractiveness For women: physical attractiveness + status So, it's clear that for women the formula is "physical attractiveness = SMV" and for men it's "physical attractiveness + status = SMV". That's why, for men, your looksmatch women =/= your SMV match. Your status/charisma/rizz has to meet your physical attractiveness or you lose points.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/24 09:00 PM
3

Good partner. In my job, I'm fine with a "marriage of convenience", in my love life not so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 10:21 AM
–

All right, after reading all replies so far, I have this question for OP: Do you think that all "alphas" are also bad guys? I think they're absolutely not identical and that "good alphas" are the epitome of attractiveness. Otherwise, I think the ranking is this (society wide, I've personally no interest in dating a bad guy): good+sexy > bad+sexy > good+unsexy > bad+unsexy
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 09:18 AM
–

And the same holds true for erotic fiction, depicting "rape". It's basically written CNC. I've come across a few stories where the heroine didn't enjoy herself and couldn't have closed those tabs sooner.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 09:09 AM
–

Like women and their fantasies!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 09:06 AM
–

And that's what makes romance fiction so attractive (and unrealistic): that mind reading works. Boundaries are overstepped, yet the heroine is never really uncomfortable/hurt. It only goes so far that the female main character still enjoys it and the were-vampire pirate bad guy instinctively knows that - because it's a fantasy.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 09:00 AM
–

Well, and the bad boys in fiction are just as much superficial klischees. Usually, they're not "really" bad, with all consequences. That's why I found "It ends with us" such an intriguing watch. It starts out like a classic steamy romance fiction but shows you where all that boundery pushing and overstepping is more likely to get you when you don't control the narrative.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 08:39 AM
–

Many, many male protagonists in romance fiction are "good guys". But they're usually still more physically attractive and dominant than real guys, because it's a fantasy. (Interestingly - despite all the body positivity movement - the heroine usually also is very conventionally attractive).
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/24 06:20 AM
1

Selection bias must be huge. The only cheaters I know are friends of friends that I've never met personally. But I've also only been once approached for casual sex and have never been offered to buy drugs (not due to a lack of opportunity) which isn't representative either. I guess people have a certain aura that others respond to.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 09:58 AM
1

I've got a vivid imagination, so I don't need to sleep around to imagine there are better guys out there. 😄 On the contrary, a bit of real world experience is quite humbling. You realise that Prince Charming who's a 10/10 doesn't exist just normal guys who have their pros and cons and you can choose what cons bother you the least.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 07:30 AM
2

You don't get married after just a few months though. If he offers commitment but isn't compatible concerning sex and sex is Important to her, she shouldn't marry him, full stop.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/24 07:26 AM
–

Good+sexy > bad+sexy > good+unsexy > bad+unsexy
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 08:27 PM
–

Well, imo the man should earn enough to keep himself afloat. He should also earn so much that he can pay for 50% of free-time activities that I'd want us to be doing together (eating out, movies, modest holidays) as I'm neither interested in doing only free activities nor do I want to constantly invite him.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 06:14 PM
1

I'm not against promiscuity as long as it's done with some mindfulness: Treating your sex partner as a full human being, not just a sex toy to satisfy your urges Openly talking about STI and pregnancy prevention If an accidental pregnancy occurs (if you use contraception diligently and combine methods the risk can be lowered to under 1% per life time) you try to set-up a co-parenting relationship instead of using abortion as back-up birth control No cheating. All partners and their partners are …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/24 11:56 AM
6

Disagree. There's a whole "married red pill" community which refers to the same reading materials. They proclaim to know the truth and that society would be better off if it followed their ideas. There have also been debates about what it means to raise a "red pill family". Interestingly, the RP guys in these debates mostly envision raising sons. There's a telling quietness about raising daughters or it's an outright "I wouldn't want to do that" (as if you choose which sex your kid has). The few…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 05:04 PM
–

The crazy thing is that after just two weeks I knew why people in Italy were slimmer. Although I indulged in pizza and pasta, I lost a little weight because portion sizes are smaller food has a better quality (freshness, taste, better cooked) you walk a lot more The food is so rich and good that you feel satiated after a rather small portion while elsewhere restaurants try to make up a lack in quality by an increase in quantity.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 11:51 AM
9

You know that the red pill ideology is peak hypocrisy when you realise that RP men want different traits in their female romantic partners than their [edit: daughter, was: wife]. Wives are supposed to be submissive and financially dependent but most RP fathers wouldn't encourage their own daughter to be such a doormat. So, the redpill can't claim that they have women's best interest at heart.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 11:45 AM
–

Yeah, what is avarage does clearly differ from country to country. When I (German) went to Italy, the other women where suddenly as short as me but I was among the chubbiest (BMI 26).
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/24 10:24 AM
1

I think it's not just about how women view men but also how men view men. And currently, as a man, you can only choose between traditionally "manly" or you're pigeon-hold as "gay/queer/gender non-conforming". Emancipation isn't only about legal equality but also about changing societal norms.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 07:06 PM
–

Yeah, it makes me suspicious that supposedly all women at the single mixers are unattractive when men claim they're attracted to most women. Maybe men are just as picky as women (at least for LTRs)? Maybe many men also only have eyes for the conventionally hot ones? In the age bracket 20-39 about 40% of women (and men) are overweight or obese. If you exclude all these people as unattractive you can hardly argue that you're attracted to avarage because avarage IS overweight these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/24 09:31 AM
2

Yup. The partners' description screams avoidant attachment.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/24 10:29 PM
–

You conveniently forgot the era of the one-child-policy. China basically forced its citizens to only have one kid. Now they realise the problems this caused (overaging, sex imbalance) but I guess people have become used to smaller families which will be even more difficult to reverse.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 05:55 PM
–

That sounds concerning and not romantic at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 04:23 PM
–

As avoidants they're likely paired off with a partner who's really clingy (preoccupied).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 04:21 PM
3

That's a very interesting point, thanks for chiming in.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 03:47 PM
0

😂👌🏻
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 03:43 PM
3

So, if women apparently don't want to stay home to raise the kids and they also don't want their husbands to stay home, what's your solution? For men who claim that they aren't in "women's frame", they give a lot of tribute to what women want. Or, what I think is rather going on: many men here aren't really interested in being a SAHP either.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 03:42 PM
3

So, when was the "golden age"?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 03:30 PM
2

Yeah, and I don't know why anyone would want to go back to that. But I'm also not of the fraction "rather in an unhappy relationship than alone".
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 03:09 PM
2

Yeah, and I don't know why anyone would want to go back to that. But I'm also not of the fraction "rather in an unhappy relationship than alone".
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 03:05 PM
0

Mmh, since former times were usually harsher, most people were harsher and I think that also goes for women. Talking to older people, I don't have the impression that women were less confrontational. Just look at how common it was to hit your kids. And I think people who are hitting their kids are also more prone to abusing their partner, even if it's "just" verbally. Women in the past also were very much aware of which men were highly attractive. They were just more willing to settle for a less…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 02:56 PM
9

I absolutely agree, we need a men's emancipation movement. However, it's not only some women who show little support for an expansion of male gender roles. The politically active men nearly all lean traditional/red pill which is even stricter concerning the definition of what makes a "real" man.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 08:33 AM
1

I tried to keep the OP as vague as possible, to see how people would interpret "romantic relationship" and "past". Thanks for your observations!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 08:26 AM
4

Yeah, social media is certainly an important factor concerning unhappiness. And the craziest thing is that those social media worlds aren't even real but only a snippet of reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 11:28 PM
3

I wouldn't stay in a relationship that's so one-sided.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 11:24 PM
26

Fully agree. Just look at very traditional societies today. They're more transactional, not less. Plus, you have a whole extended family meddling. I think what makes traditional societies attractive for some people and especially men is that expectations are more clear cut. If you work hard enough, society signals you that you are a good husband, even if your wife might disagree in private. But since she can't/won't leave you, the question is how much that matters.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 11:23 PM
20

I think this is an interesting point. For guys who prefer a pragmatic romantic relationship without a deeper connection (shared interests, inside jokes, romance etc.), times certainly have become more difficult because less women are willing to enter a marriage of convenience.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 11:17 PM
15

I think many people are (and even more have been in the past) emotionally immature. And emotionally immature people are prone to unhappiness because everything happens to them. They're anxious, bad at establishing healthy boundaries and always view themselves as the victim. As a coping mechanism they act passive-aggressively. The pedant of the "odd ball and chains" husband is the martyr wife. Unfortunately for both, the "I suffer but must stay" act works less and less when divorce becomes more n…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 11:08 PM
12

I'd say the expectation of romantic love and sexual desire is just as equally important for most couples getting married today. Kids also aren't a necessity anymore but an active decision (in former times, having sex meant having kids and kids were a necessity to run the farm).
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/24 09:56 PM
–

You know what prevents you from losing "too much" in case of a divorce? An egalitarian relationship before divorce! Also: Less stress to be the sole provider, more time with your kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 08:44 PM
–

"Wants peace" often is an euphemism for "don't want to take care of it".
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 08:34 PM
–

At least you're honest
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 08:26 PM
–

Men's work also enables them to divorce. It may not be intentional but it's certainly a side-effect and that's all this thread is about.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 08:15 PM
–

but you never really stop to think that providing for a family is a huge responsibility [...] Starts out legit, then turns into fan fiction, at least for most of the Western world. I don't get where you get all those "protecting" fantasies from. I hope you realise that running a home is also a huge responsibility. A traditional marriage is not "he works, she lounges at home". It's he works (a paid job, outside the home) and she works (unpaid, inside the home). Both partners should respect and ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 08:06 PM
2

The US should really legalize prostitution, then all these discussions would be over. If you don't enjoy socialising with women but still want to have sex with them, just hire a prostitute.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/24 08:36 AM
–

I'm not trans, so no. 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/24 07:13 AM
–

Nope. Only way to abolish child support by the parents is to replace it by welfare/tax money. Fine with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/24 06:12 AM
28

The most charming guys I've ever met low-key flirted with everyone or at least every woman. Why is that so attractive? - These guys were actually kind. When they complimented someone it was because they meant it and because they wanted to feel the other person good. They didn't do it as a covert contract to get a compliment back or escalate things. - They exuded confidence - Being witty, they were able to display their intelligence - Most people enjoy playful interaction and that's what flirting…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/24 02:08 PM
0

Who's talking about "suddenly not have needs" anymore? I was hoping that the number of men less interested in sex would increase with age, so I'd have a bigger dating pool.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/24 07:18 PM
–

I don't believe that there's a "lid for every jar". Some people won't be able to transform themselves into a version that will be desired by a partner whom they, too, desire. Attraction isn't as subjective as some people claim. A combination of certain traits will make it difficult to find a match. Pretty privilege is real.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/24 05:31 PM
–

What I find most fascinating about the "men built society"-guys is that they themselves usually don't work in one of the very (mentally or physically) demanding jobs (oil rig, miner, atomic physicist etc.). Instead, they work in rather avarage jobs, like most people. And since these jobs are avarage, they could be done by quite a lot of people, man or woman. So, the "men built society"-guys want to reap the benefits other men worked for. They demand respect/privileges because they belong to a ce…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/24 03:46 PM
1

The "problem" with marriage began when we tried to combine two aspects that are contradictory: 1) Old expectation: marriage as a business contract: we do this together to raise children and manage our farm. We stay together in sickness and health, till death do us apart (and you can marry a new partner). 2) "New" expectation: We love each other authentically and have mutual sexual desire for each other. --> Reality, when shit hits the fan: pick one A) Loyalty, we stay together although the love …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/24 10:07 AM
-1

Too bad, was hoping for the older guys. 😕
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/24 09:35 AM
4

Why does everybody here assure that a low(er) sex drive in men would also turn them aromantic? There are other aspects, apart from sex, that let people seek relationships such as companionship, love, kids, someone to cuddle, share life's challanges with etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 05:47 PM
2

You're close, but not quite there. Yes, many women crave passion, just as men do. Many men in LTR lament that they hate the routine sex: no spontaneity, always the same positions in the same order, too little enthusiasm from their partner. Women have the same desire for passion, just in a different aspect of their life, usually called romance. They crave deep talks, little get aways or small surprises. This longing for passion is healthy and not incompatible with a stable relationship. Both part…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 05:21 PM
3

Yeah, because "nice guys" are putting up an act. They're not emotionally authentic. They hide all controversial aspects of themselves to people-please. Of course, that's unattractive. Don't we all hate people who try to sweap any emotionally authentic/raw discussion under the carpet by saying shit like "Don't be sad, tomorrow is another day"? I rather want my partner to really get to know me, discover they dislike me and break up than never really wanting to get to know me to keep peace.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 05:09 PM
1

And it's debated that mid-aged women might be over subscribed SSRIS and would do better on HRT.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/24 02:23 PM
–

I prefer the "bear" type: muscles, body fat & body hair. To me, that's peak masculinity. I also don't want a lifestyle that revoles around the gym, macros and a fixation on physical appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 07:14 PM
1

Cool, can you also provide an argument?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 06:11 PM
–

None of it tells me about his character (except being an introvert/extrovert), so I pick #1 as he's at least of avarage attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 02:11 PM
1

No offence taken, this is Reddit after all. But I still appreciate the gesture. I understand your frustration. Not as a man (because I'm not), but as a human being. I guess you're rather young. And young people are still learning how to interact with others, that also goes for young women. I haven't been hit on a lot when I was younger, but in cases it happened, I too, was probably colder than I needed to be. It's born out of insecurity, being annoyed, not seeing what it took the other person to…
/r/seduction20/08/24 08:18 AM
0

Uh, I love hypotheticals. I think a surplus of women would lead to: - polygamy being legalised - very attractive and healthy men are actively encouraged to donate sperm and receive financial rewards - raising kids alone or with another woman is normalised and incentived - more leftist social politics - more women pick up "manly" jobs - but likely not enough (at least at first), so there's a drop in productivity - attractive men still fuck around (and are even less incentived to settle down becau…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 07:59 AM
3

There are already less women than men in China due to their once "One child policy" and thus the abortion of female fetuses. It has not led to women being treated better, rather the contrary (more violence and sex trafficking).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 07:25 AM
1

Reacting like a butthurt loser will only make them laugh at you and rightly so. Why not calmly and confidently say: "'No' is a complete sentence, no need to elaborate", then just go.
/r/seduction19/08/24 08:37 PM
1

Why don't you give them your number? Flirt, plant the seed, "gotta go. If you wanna know where to find me, this is my insta". Let people come to you, instead chasing them.
/r/seduction19/08/24 08:30 PM
2

I think it should be both. Flirting should be like couple dancing, you try to create an exciting experience together.
/r/seduction19/08/24 08:26 PM
10

Child support is for the child. You can't sign away a third person's claims as that would be unfair to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 04:18 PM
5

Because for most women sex is in large parts mental. It's the fantasy created between her ears that turns her on. Clever men will have it easier to create this attraction. I think this 'social intelligence' is more important than logical problem solving abilities.
/r/seduction19/08/24 11:10 AM
3

Sever thoughts, in no particular order: People who have lots of casual sex often - do so because they really like sex/see sex as a hobby (not a good fit for me, who's probably on the ace spectrum) - use it to feel validated/loved (low self-esteem) (I've got no interest in these people either as it starts this whole unholy "you can't possibly love me if you don't want to fuck me!) Some late-bloomer men dislike that their female partner had sexual options in their younger years (and made use of th…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/24 10:59 AM
18

I'm 35 and will likely end my childbearing years without kids. I've paid close attention to friends who decided to have kids and how they faired, especially those who are most similar to me (in financial regards, personality-wise etc.). I've decided that I'm just not cut out to be a mother as you have to be constantly "on". There are no breaks. And thus, even well-behaved kids stress me out a lot. And I don't even want to think about the demands of parenting a special needs child. I don't think …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/24 10:23 PM
4

Yes, in total numbers there were far more women having babies in their 40ies in the past than now. What changed is that back then it was kid #3 or #4 while today it's #1 or #2. So, the avarage age to have a child (especially the first) went up but that doesn't mean that older mothers were uncommon in former times (on the contrary). If you think about it, it's only logical. While fertility decreases with female age, it's just that - a decrease. Instead of three months of unprotected sex it might …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 10:34 AM
1

"No female friends" ist worst. Might have innocent reasons (just didn't happen, no shared interests) but might also point to a bigger issue (negative view of women). "No male friends" is second worst. Again, might be harmless but might also be a sign of bigger problems. Rest doesn't matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 10:19 AM
0

Real confidence comes from the inside, it's being okay with who you are, independent of external validation (or as much as possible). That's an attractive trait. If I find you unattractive, I find you unattractive. But if you're confident, I'll likely find you a bit less unattractive than if you were a door mat on top.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 10:14 AM
1

Thanks, not a huge fan of "loyalty" myself. Not looking for it, not promising it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 10:07 AM
–

I think the most interesting statement regarding false rape allegations that I came across was this: a thorough investigation/interrogation is beneficial to everyone involved. False allegations are often made by otherwise vulnerable/unstable people. After the accusation they receive support and attention (often the first time in an otherwise rather bleak life), which feels good. From there on - if a good interrogation doesn't stop it - they're caught in their own story. The further things procee…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/24 07:53 AM
12

The comments by male porn consumers that I've read indicate that they prefer it that way. They seemed to want a stunt cock to self insert - figuratively and literally ;) I think both actors in mainstream porn are objectified. Simply showing the actresses cum loaden face doesn't change that 😄
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 03:13 PM
17

I didn’t mean that all romance novels/films are pornographic in nature. I meant that romance novels/films are fantasy, like porn is for men. In both cases, the protagonist is catered to, often while contributing little themselves. Sometimes, the female MC is even mean to her future partner, but he still persues her because he believes in her inherent goodness (Mr. Darcy). In porn, the male partner may even abuse the female partner (slapping, spitting etc.), contributes little to her pleasure yet…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 11:54 AM
3

You won't find many women who'll continually find you hot without a connecting. 🤷🏻‍♀️ "Hot enough for casual" only works because personality/compatibility is actively dismissed. But it alsways plays a role in a relationship. Even if you're Brad Pitt but constantly leave your dirty plates on the dish washer (seen as a sign of not caring about her), you're dead bedroomed.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 11:41 AM
3

And that's male thinking transferred to women. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I can tell from a picture if I find a guy physically attractive (enough) but I HAVE to meet him in person to see if that holds true. Men are complaining all the time about the female "ick" and in some cases it's just true. You could be celebrity level looks-wise and still give the ick if your demeanour is off. And, vice versa, you can not be super hot on a picture but so charming, clever and witty that you honestly do become attractive. And de…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 11:13 AM
4

This is the way 👆🏻 Flirting should be like catching a bird. You don't chase, you present your open palm with seeds and see who's interested. Bonus points if you don't just give off the vibe of "I find you sexy" (I mean, that's a given) but "I find you interesting"/"I want to get to know you as a person".
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 11:05 AM
35

It's fantasy, like porn is for men. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/24 08:54 AM
1

Couple of times a day? Na, I think that's on the end of the bell curve. 😅 Anyway, since your hypothetical wife is only interested in 2-3 times a year (would be 900 US dollars in total with a prostitute, according to you), the prostitute would still by far be the cheaper deal. Plus, you can visit a prostitute as often as you want and can afford, so her low libido isn't a limiting factor. I don't know how big a threat of jail prostitution really is in the US 🤷🏻‍♀️ I could imagine it's not that ris…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 05:20 PM
4

I don't get it. If that's truly your opinion, why not just visit a sex worker on the regular? That's far, far less expensive than providing for a spouse and kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 03:11 PM
2

Nothing would change besides a piggy bank on a couple's bedside cabinet to finance their next vacation. 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 03:09 PM
2

I'd even say that if validation and social status are your main motivators for sex, please, please work on that as it makes for a far more satisfying (sex) life.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 03:04 PM
5

Interesting, thanks for your reply. Do you think this is also how women should approach relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 10:28 AM
1

Yeah... so? With power comes responsibility. But the only responsibility for women in this regard, that I see, is: don't lead men on. Be honest in your intentions (as everyone should). And by this I only mean conscious manipulation tactics (insinuating the possibility of sexual favours in exchange for X). Wearing something that's considered "too revealing" by whatever subjective standard does not count. It's like being a celebrity: it would be wrong to promise something to somebody based on your…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 10:27 AM
4

But if a really great person comes along, you'll find the energy/time to befriend them... Let's say, you have the capacity for 15 and only 15 friends. I'm sure you don't find them by just picking the first moral 15, even if you have little in common.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 10:12 AM
9

But certainly being moral behaviour isn't the only criterion you choose friends on? I assume it's a prerequisite but there needs to be more (shared interests, humour etc.). So, you also rejected/"punished" moral people if they do not also meet your other criteria. But as you can see, you didn't reject/"punish" them because they were moral but because they weren't your type although being moral.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/24 08:51 AM
2

Male and female sexuality can be beautiful if it's for giving and receiving pleasure in a caring relationship (I believe you can also care for your partner in a casual encounter, don't get me wrong). Male and female sexuality isn't beautiful when it comes from a place of deficit and neediness (abusing sex to feel loved, validated, not alone, not bored etc.)
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 08:28 AM
6

Wonderfully put. Wanting a deeply emotional relationship is not the same as seeking drama. You gain emotional connection by deep talk ("When did you first realise X? How made Y you feel? What do you dream of?) and shared experiences (visiting museums together, going to the farmer's market, going on a hike etc.) Some men complain that it's impossible to keep up the "dancing monkey act" on forever. To these guys I can only say: don't pretend to be someone in the first place or you'll get exhausted…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 08:04 AM
2

Great, and then, later down the line she finds out he isn't really interested in any of what he pretended. It's not a virtue, it's the real bait and switch. Don't complain when you get dropped once you stop keeping up the act.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 06:49 AM
0

No, the fault-finding starts because the relationship gets too close for the DA partner. It's not boredom.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 06:43 AM
–

Finding someone who I like spending time with and vice versa. Long car rides and listening to music, deep talks, cuddling/holding my partner, travelling together. Authentic emotion. If we grow apart, it's better to go separate ways. I'm not looking for cohabitation, marriage or kids. Just a good time and authentic love that can stretch from a few weeks to several decades.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 07:42 PM
3

This is delusional. You're practically begging to be lied to if you want people to give up their convictions for you. How does one end up with such a mind set? After only three dates (or even five), you don't really know a person. So, in any case, she'd agree to practically have casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 09:16 AM
1

Or a low libido 😉
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 09:08 AM
–

And this, gentlemen, is how you get a low libido girlfriend.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/24 08:53 AM
11

No, I think it's rather changed priorities: After raising the kids and looking after the household for two decades, many women welcome their alone time and just a small apartment to look after. Not being in a romantic relationship anymore also gives them more time to explore personal interests and spend time with friends Menopause often decreases a woman's libido. The relative dominance of testosterone also makes them less agreeable and anxious
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/24 10:10 AM
3

Some say you need to read the whole trilogy for her world view to become "full circle" and more balanced. But it sounds like a tedious endeavour to get there. 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/24 10:04 AM
5

Upvoting your post as this article is really informative. There's a movie that depicts this dynamic between a Western "jane" and her Hatian male sex worker very well: "Heading South" (2005), starring Charlotte Rampling and Ménothy César.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 07:40 PM
–

Thank you! If it's that easy to obtain sex for women, why wouldn't they do it? A) Because they're not fans of casual sex themselves B) Because they abstain to protect some future partner's ego? What's more likely? The whole "I want her to be MY slut" (but a virgin before) crowd is just laughable. A woman in this day and age who doesn't have lots of sex/sex partners likely does so because she isn't into sex as a lifestyle.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/24 08:04 AM
0

Yes, and that's what a men's rights movement should try to change. But the people currently claiming to be the voice of men do the exact opposite, perpetuating the steretype.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/24 02:54 PM
–

😂👏
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/24 08:50 AM
–

Well, it shouldn't be the opener 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/24 07:16 AM
–

Haha, yeah, that's why you do lots of flirting beforehand. 😄 Flirting is basically a vibe-check. With some people you vibe, some feel cringe. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/24 07:14 AM
–

Well, for Chad she'd behave like a porn actress. Because porn actress behaviour is the best/only indicator for desire. Especially if it goes against her own preferences. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 04:15 PM
6

What happened to flirting?! You can communicate verbally a lot and still be attractive by using the right tone. Stand close, push a hair strand behind her ear, look into her eyes for a long(er) moment, then lower your gaze to her lips. Gaze back to her eyes, you say with enough sincerity and sexy "I really want to kiss you" and wait for a reaction. If she finds you sexy, that should do the job. If she doesn't find you sexy, you shouldn't try to negotiate desire anyway. It's not that difficult. O…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 04:04 PM
–

"Just be happy single" can certainly sound dismissive. But the idea to cultivate happiness apart from a romantic parter is still valid, even for people who are in a romantic relationship as it puts an undue burden on your partner to "make you happy". I guess one issue people who've never been in a romantic relationship face is that they idealize them so much. They imagine they'll be happy if only they had a partner, overseeing how many people are in a relationship and still unhappy to varying de…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 09:11 AM
9

Most men would share Elon, too 😎
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/24 08:13 AM
1

Yeah, being adored feels suffocating
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/24 07:40 PM
–

I also think that many men are simply blind regarding the women they're not attracted to, so they don't "count". And, of course, fewer of the attractive women will be single as attractiveness isn't that subjective.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/24 10:58 AM
2

I don't think there's a lid for each jar. Physical attractiveness is extremely important and not as subjective as many claim (of course, there are still preferences). There are also characters traits that make people nearly universally attractive: sociableness, openness to new experiences, being able to read the room, agreeableness, fun... The less of these attractive traits one has, the more difficult dating will be. Even two physically unattractive, close minded and/or judgemental people (who …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/24 10:47 AM
30

I once watched a documentary about a Chinese man who got himself a mail order bride from another Asian (poorer) country. They both thought their partner was the best they could do but there seemed to be no sympathies on any side. They both looked so utterly miserable although they both got what they "wanted". I hope I'll never be that desperate for marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/24 10:14 AM
3

Each civilization eventually dies. I definitely prefer a death after centuries of people being able to self-realize and accepting others doing the same than trying to keep everything under the lid, requiring people to negate big parts of their identity. Just because you don't like people being gay, trans, asexual, non-monogamous, not traditionally masculine/feminine doesn't mean they don't exist/haven't always. 🤷🏻‍♀️ And the best thing of a truly tolerate society: you can still decide to live a …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/24 09:14 AM
4

Greater acceptance of different gender identities, sexual orientations and preferences (the "normal" is becoming broader) Lower birth rates and thus better job opportunities Gender roles slowly fading Greater awareness of mental health issues More tolerance and empathy (?)
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 07:01 PM
5

It should never be too late to live your best life. You go, boy!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/24 07:06 AM
2

I think one point is missing: It's capitalism and little welfare that makes women even more demanding concerning social and financial status. And you can't really fault them: when raising a family is expensive and you get no help from the state (not even paid maternity leave), your husband is better a good provider. I would say it's a good idea to dismantle/tone down patriarchy and capitalism (both hierarchical institutions) and strive for a more equal society... ... but it's mainly men who are …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/24 12:18 PM
5

Well, but if he had to look after his kids more (instead of her doing the lion's share), he likely wouldn't have been able to have this exceptional career. It also works the other way around and the husband could have had an exceptionally underwhelming career. Bad luck for the wife. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Men here on PPD are quite vocal about their disdain for women "waiting at the finishing line". Here you have an example of a couple who married young but it's still not right. If you built together, you built t…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 01:00 PM
15

In a few months it'll be top 0.2% 😄 /s
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 11:48 AM
2

Disagree. Couples with the financial ability to choose, choose that one partner stays home because it's preferable than hirering external help (parent raising the kid instead of paid caregiver). If both partners have high paying careers (usually equals long work hours), you need several nannies, house keepers etc. (because it's a lot more than 40 hours a week). Especially if you want a certain quality regarding the people raising your kids that's not just "a bit of money". Family with kids is a …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 10:33 AM
6

I don't think that most men care (especially if they're fond of casual sex, too). But, yeah, it might be a good idea to say something like "Before you hear it from somebody else: I've been 'enjoying my youth', if you know what I mean". Then it's on your partner to ask further questions or not. For an emotionally mature couple, this might lead to a beautiful and open discussion about the meaning of sex for both partners. Oh, whom am I kidding. This is PPD after all 😄
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 07:32 AM
1

It honours you that you have a conscious. As this thread shows, it's becoming a rare trait. My advice would be to be very transparent about what you're seeking, removing the ambiguity.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 07:09 AM
5

If you have a feeling that it might be an issue to your partner, you should disclose that information.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/24 07:04 AM
5

💯 I usually cheat these by having a low libido and a thing for chubby guys but jealousy, being boring and lack of interest are all hard nos 😄
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 07:24 PM
1

1) Michael is out for assholishness and fathering kids like a hobby 2) Luke is okay as long as the being cheated on hasn't made him paranoid. The dog is slight minus, I'm just no pet person. 3) As long as sports isn't everything he's into, I see no issue. The micro penis doesn't bother in the least.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 05:12 PM
1

I think you overestimate how much people enjoyed parenting in the past. There's a reason sayings "children are to be seen, not heard" existed. Just a few decades ago, children spent much more time among peers, unsupervised. Today this would border on neglect. People love to complain about helicopter parents but the increased attention isn't only bad. Physical and also sexual abuse of children by authority figures was more prevalent in former times and also more institutionalised. But since the v…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/24 04:49 PM
1

Agree. From a European POV: Americans are really hung up concerning age gap relationships. The amount of "basically paedophilia" comments is crazy. That and the whole issue of "the man has to pay on the first date/for food" feels like a different planet. 😄
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 02:01 PM
3

Men and women should be equal in front of the law. Apart from that, they're not equal as individuals aren't equal.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 01:39 PM
31

Many people confuse empathy with the obligation to take action in order to alleviate/solve the situation. Showing empathy means that you signal the other a genuine "sucks to be in that situation, I feel you". I have empathy with incels as well as with pedophiles. It must be painful to have a sexual desire that you can't act upon.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/24 01:19 PM
0

Dan is a no as he's acting like a dick. Andrew and Jason have no immediate red flags, although I'd like to know why they only earn minimum wage. If it's due to a choice of passion, responsibilities etc. that's fine with me. If it's because they can't hold down a job for long, it's not. Gaming and soccer are not hobbies that I'm interested in, so there would need to be further shared interests. In terms of looks, Jason needs to be attractive to me, that's all that counts.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 10:44 PM
0

I'm gonna add the scenario to my hypotheticals for dating. Not interested in being with a man who only cares about him and his to this degree... Should this sentiment indeed be widespread, I need to weed through a much smaller dating pool. A win, I guess?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 07:30 PM
-1

Yeah, if my father disowned my grown brother because it turns out he's not his biological parent, he better don't expect to see me (his bio kid) again either.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 07:27 PM
2

Cool, so I can abort a child created by egg donation? We're not biologically related, after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/24 07:14 PM
3

But there doesn't need to be a trade-off. You can also use positive reinforcement: letting kids try different sports, outdoor activities as a family, cooking with them etc. so that they can experience how good it feels to live in a healthy body. Fat people know that they're fat, they don't need to be reminded. And shaming doesn't produce any positive outcomes. It makes them hide and reject their bodies. It leads to not wanting to join their friends at the beach or a sports team, eating in secrec…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 02:23 PM
5

I agree that the body positivity movement is mostly driven by women - but not because men are driven out. Like any real injustice against men, I absolutely encourage you to campaign against it. Create a movement to support short guys, against circumcision/genital mutilation, against domestic violence etc. However, I hardly ever see this happen. What I mostly do see happen is these issues being brought up as a whataboutism when women fight for their causes. Many men - at least those here on PPD -…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 09:21 AM
1

So your statement is "it's toxic but it works"? Nah, thanks, I don't want lower obesity rates by increasing psychological illnesses.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/24 08:28 AM
0

Won't do much? 20-30% improvement pushes most men from "avarage " to "cute" and thus over the often cited "threshold for attractiveness".
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/24 09:38 PM
7

To entertain you; the first three are out for: 1) bad mood/irritability, wife beating (!!!) 2) height, autism 3) hunting/fishing, talking bad about others Jake might be an option. Depends on if I find him cute (I even prefer a bit chubby) and like his personality. He also needed to be interested in activities outside the house like visiting museums, travelling, eating out and meeting people ; generally being open-minded.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/24 08:01 PM
–

Why are you interested in anecdotes? There are statistics on the number and causes of death.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/24 07:09 AM
0

Everyone has the ability to make money by sucking rich dick. No reason to be jealous.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/24 11:13 PM
3

I think truly egalitarian relationships are preferable for many people as it makes emphatizing with your partner easier. Many men don't get how hard it is to be alone with the kids and their wives don't understand their husbands' struggles. When partners live in very different spheres (SAHM + husband climbing the career ladder), drifting apart is a much bigger risk. While the traditional role division may initially seem easier (no juggling job and kids), I think it really pays off later when bot…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 05:08 PM
3

Absolutely for prenups, because: - preparing for divorce is just being realistic. Doesn't even mean there's a bad guy. Sometimes, people just develop into different directions - It forces people to really talk through how they envision their marriage to work instead of just assuming their partner wants the same. If these discussions make you realise that your ideas are too far apart - huge bullet dodged!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 04:49 PM
8

And women are accused of a lack of accountability...
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/24 12:14 PM
6

Cool, I don't think the orgasm gap is a societal issue to solve but one with your partner. Same with male sexlessnes.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/24 07:44 AM
1

I'm expecting neither celibacy nor monogamy. 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/24 09:54 PM
2

The moment sex becomes a "must have" in our relationship, I hope my partner calls it quits. In this case, we're uncompatible. In general, I don't want to be "endured". You don't get any brownie points for martyrdom and - let's be realistic - not so hidden resentment. If you're unhappy in the relationship over some time (weeks), we've talked about the issues but found no common ground: please, leave. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/24 01:39 AM
2

Fully agree. And if my partner doesn't want to contribute more financially than me, that's totally fine. It just means that we have to adjust our living standard to my lower means. That also makes my partner free to persue a career he truly wants. I'm so tired of the men on this sub who complain about "slaving away at their gruelling jobs to provide for their wives" just to use it as a power move to play their partners. Please, stop the "slaving", get one of the reasonably well-paying, cushy off…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/24 03:16 PM
1

Read Camille Paglia much? 😄
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 11:46 AM
23

I'm always baffled by this type of question. Why do you want us to sell romantic relationships to you? If you're content with your life and you're getting all your needs met by family, friends, pets and sex workers that's great! Don't try to repair what isn't broken. Not everyone is made to be part of a romantic couple. I myself also decided to opt out of dating. Family, friends and leading a life following my passions greatly fulfills me. Yet I can't deny that I do miss some aspects from past r…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/24 11:43 AM
2

Yeah, people also had more kids because chores weren't automated and physically demanding. More kids = more labour power. Also don't forget that infant mortality was huge (about 50%, sometimes worse). So, you needed many more children, as half of them wouldn't make it statistically. When people enjoyed a high standard of living and didn't need children as labourers (poor people) or political chess figures (aristocrats), they chose to have fewer of them. Again, look at the Ancient Romans.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 04:38 PM
3

There are too many people running around who have equaled "sex on first sight" with "only true attraction". "If he/she doesn't want to fuck you immediately, you're his/her back up option, safe option, beta bux" yadda, yadda, yadda.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 02:53 PM
9

Please, pick up a history book. Contraception and abortion have been around at least since the Antiquity. Actually, abortion has been far more common in former times than it is now since the contraceptives were less reliable. You can make contraceptives and abortion illegal, but that won't make them go away. Ask the ghost of Nicolae Ceausescu how that went. Besides, methods like Natural Family Planning (NFP) are highly effective (PI 0,3) and only require a thermometer and a sheet of paper. How a…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 07:43 AM
12

I want a partner, not a slave. If the android had consciousness but was programmed to love me, that would feel abhorrently wrong. I don't want a partner who isn't able to leave me. Concerning androids for men: go ahead. As long as they aren't conscious, I don't care how elaborate the sex dolls are that you fuck.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/24 07:17 AM
4

This is the way
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 02:31 PM
1

True, it's always hypocritical to hold other people to higher standards than oneself.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 02:13 PM
2

Sure, men are entitled to dismiss these women. 🤷🏻‍♀️ However, since men with sexual options (=attractive men) rarely have a problem with women with equal histories, it might be a good tactic for all women (who want to avoid bitter guys with anxieties) to pretend to be experienced, even if they're not. As the red pill teaches: don't make her feel judged. Because, let's be honest: the bitter men would have had casual sex as well had it been offered to them. It's not like they abstained for moral r…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/24 12:03 AM
–

So, you agree that only 70% percent of men are attractive? Pretty close to the 80/20 you're all so upset about...
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 10:16 PM
1

Some women do marry their partner from their 20ies, especially if it's a LTR. However, the 20ies is also when people experiment, given the chance. They try out activities and relationships to find out what they really want from life. And while partying and drinking like there's no tomorrow may be fun for a while, most people are done with it by their mid to late twenties. Such is life. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I know several guys who looked very nerdy/boyish/unattractive in their late teens/early twenties. Many of…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 03:39 PM
1

Was thinking about opening a similar thread. So, thanks! I think men and women are really similar in their preferences but different in how they can act them out: I their late teens to early/mid twenties, the huge majority of people don't want to settle down and have kids. They want to persue an education, travel, party and have sex (anything from casual to LTR). For most women and the very attractive guys, the sex part is easy, so they persue it according to their preferences. Late twenties, ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/24 12:05 PM
2

Yes, I'm sure they're honest. The ones who do have many guys aren't trying to hide it either.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 10:28 AM
6

I hope you don't want to date women? Because wanting to date/have sex with a group of people you reject sounds really unhealthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 10:22 AM
14

I hate that line of argumentation in general: no, just because someone disagrees with a point you make, it's not necessarily rooted in misandry, misogyny, racism, ableism, antisemitism... Too often that accusation is to silence the other party by claiming the moral upper hand.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 10:07 AM
10

I have many female friends who went without sex for more than a year without any problem. And no, they were not filling the gaps with hook-ups. Many women just don't want sex when they're not in a romantic relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/24 09:39 AM
3

Why not nut before the date?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/24 06:51 PM
15

The older cat lady is far less daunting than red pillers make it out to be. Don't forget: the choice is between cat lady and an unattractive guy (to her), not between cat lady and commited chad. The social pressure to partner up has also vastly decreased. It would be interesting to know how many people in former decades have only been in relationships because it was the thing to do. How much society has changed in this regard can be seen when you look at the 'Bridget Jone's Diary" film, starring…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/24 07:17 AM
3

When we are children we're born into an environment that we accept as normal and we develop strategies to live in that environment without suffering unnecessary harm. As adults, these coping strategies are often detrimental to leading a fulfilling life. A good therapist helps you identifying these belief systems and patterns that stem from your childhood so that you can overcome them. Therapy equips you with more tools to handle life's issues. When formerly you only had a hammer, therapy helps y…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 11:04 PM
–

Obesity rates are similar for men and women. So, when 95% of men can't get a non-obese woman, about half of them are punching above their weight.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 09:17 PM
2

"Pretty Woman" is a movie 😉 Which, btw, originally had a very different ending.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/24 04:19 PM
3

So, the realisation is that many prostitutes are conventionally attractive and also display interesting personalities...? I think one should just keep in mind that how a sex worker acts is a performance for the customer. While she might indeed not hate/like the paid sex, it's still a performance. It's not about her feelings or her pleasure but his, even if that includes making him feel like a sex god.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 04:08 PM
26

I've once heard: "It's cluster b dating each other" and that doesn't seem too far off.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/24 03:42 PM
1

I don't know where you live but the single parents I know are all doing a pretty decent job.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/24 10:03 AM
13

IRL: No, most people are smart enough to pick a partner who fits their lifestyle. Here/online: yeah, there seem to be lots of people who are after people that look good on paper or their arm.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 07:53 AM
1

I think this is a case of "I define men's needs as the normal and easy" and thus it should be also easy for women to fill these needs. Sex e.g. is not easy for women when they don't feel attracted/connected to their partner. It's physically and emotionally uncomfortable to painful.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/24 07:18 AM
1

Well, that single mom is occupied with raising a future tax payer. In other threads, guys are whining about low birth rates. If having kids was a strictly private entertainment there wouldn't be a reason for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 04:46 PM
11

Yeah, I would take over tasks for bettering/saving society, even if they're outside of my comfort zone. Since I'm seeking new experiences and wanting to do good, that even holds a certain appeal. However, I need to see the rest of society pulling their weight, too. Especially the rich people. I'm not doing a second shift on a construction site to build houses in order to fix homelessness while other people own more than one apartment. I'm not picking up the slack when the issues are systematic i…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/24 03:57 PM
2

I see guys fawning over Elon Musk all the time. Now you're mad a woman does the same? 😄
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 08:56 AM
1

Yeah, for most people eroticism requires a certain degree of mystery/otherness. You attain this - in a healthy way - by keeping seperate interests/activities/self from your partner. It's called differentiation.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/24 08:03 AM
5

I think this is a good example for while the given criteria are all reasonable, grouping them together will naturally result in a quite small dating pool, without anyone being "at fault". Finding your "one" is just hard if you want them to check your most important boxes (which you should want imo). Doesn't mean that all available people lack quality, just because they don't meet your needs. No moms and no body fat over 30% already rules out many women, at least at a certain age. Then the combin…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/24 12:07 PM
0

Then why should she want to have as little sex as possible as you stated in your opening post?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 10:11 PM
7

As a woman who's indeed low libido and wants only little sex: how is this recipe gonna serve me? I'll attract a high libido guy and then we're both stuck in a mismatched, miserable relationship. Since one can (relatively) easily divorce today there's no winning by pretending. As a woman, you're either stuck with lots of unwanted sex or he's gonna divorce you. Sounds better to play with open cards and look for a partner who wants the same/similar things in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 04:59 PM
1

But you have to love that little rope at the 30 years mark, eh? 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 04:14 PM
1

Thanks. Just look at many European countries where cohabitation has replaced marriage to a large degree, even with kids involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 04:12 PM
5

Are you open to sharing that guy? 😄
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 12:50 PM
0

My first comment was also meant as a generalisation. I know that I'm far from being the only woman who feels this way. And if you make the choices for women even more extreme (like SK, Japan or other societies that are quite traditional) in the sense that they have to basically choose between having children and a career, you get more women opting out of having kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 11:27 AM
1

Not interested. Job is 9-5 and pretty chill. My sibling has a baby that's cute and well-adjusted but also 24/7, as babies are. She's happy, I would be totally exhausted.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/24 06:03 AM
10

Most men aren't interested in doing the lion's share of child rearing, not even 50/50. Well, it's the same for me. If none of us wants to raise the kids, there won't be any. Pretty simple really.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 04:54 PM
11

I wouldn't spend time with constant complainers, sounds tirering as fuck.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 04:14 PM
4

Should be the only acceptable place for all people. Plus anonymous forums like these, of course. Where else do you want to vent?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/24 04:08 PM
3

It's most likely that your hypothetical children (also mine and those of most people) will again be "just" avarage. Trying to overcome one own's perceived insignificance by having children is such a cope. Apart from that: You don't have to be exceptional to make a difference in the world. Just by being a kind soul you might have a bigger positive impact than some guy who makes an invention of questionable consequences.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 06:51 PM
1

Because the hottest looking women tend to fall into group 1. Men here claim they want the church mouse but she better doesn't look like it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 11:12 AM
2

Long, deep-felt hug with no expectation to turn it into sex
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 08:50 AM
1

Maybe more relationship satisfaction due to more similar libido of both partners? I don't think that the birth rate would be affected a lot, since we've already divorced sex and reproduction so much. More sex already doesn't equal more babies due to contraception.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 08:39 AM
7

An overwhelmed court system Lots of false allegations by unhappy spouses but also third parties who seek to do harm Lots of messy processes, ultimately ending with non-guilty verdicts as the adultery will usually be difficult to prove People losing their jobs due to incarceration with all the associated negative consequences (poverty, stigma of being an ex-con etc.) More (coerced) abortions Probably less marriages in the long haul No pros for anyone, therefore totally against it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 08:00 AM
9

Yeah, didn't you know that the presence of the Y chromosome makes people unable to load the dishwasher? /s
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 06:32 AM
3

High rates of childlessness haven't been that uncommon in history (see figure 1): https://ifstudies.org/blog/1-in-4-projecting-childlessness-among-todays-young-women
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/24 06:02 AM
3

Yeah, UK style is something different 😄
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/24 03:59 PM
1

Being a sex worker is hardly the norm for women, even if we count in services like OF.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 07:41 PM
2

Yeah, but I wouldn't call it power, at least not in the traditional sense of "controlling people or events". It's not like women can give up this "power", at least not without harming themselves (= dating men they're not attracted to). You can decide to donate some of your wealth in order redistribute money and thus influence. However, women can't give away the resource "sex" to make the world fairer.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 05:59 PM
14

I think misogyny most often results from men perceiving woman as having sexual power over them (because they attach their self-worth to women's sexual attraction) while simultaneously not wanting to be the "weaker" sex as this hurts their self imagine of tough masculinity. To "correct" this perceived imbalance, misogynistic men devalue women. However, in a way this makes it even worse for misogynistic men themselves: if you devalue women so much that they're little more than a baby factory and a…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 10:37 AM
3

Good advise, minus the "good looking girls like you". If you want to push it, rather add a matter-of-factly "you look like you know to have fun".
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/24 05:59 AM
1

I had to google Pearl Davis, as I didn't know her. The woman is objectively attractive in a conventional sense (thin, symmetrical features, no crooked nose, weak chin etc.). Easily a 6, maybe even a 7. So, if guys here state that Pearl is "ugly" or "below avarage" we can safely close the case of "avarage men not getting avarage women". This is just ridiculous.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/24 06:41 AM
3

No, no, no. Been there, done that, never again. We weren't even able to agree on a film. In an established relationship, you need to fill your days. Your partner has to fit into your lifestyle. If one partner is always compromising, 100% of the time you're not both happy. Especially as someone who's love language is quality time and bonding over shared activities, this was terrible.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 09:13 PM
1

Now I need to know: what are stereotypical activities men enjoy?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 09:01 PM
0

Having grown up poor and working in a low pay job without the prospect of moving up, is often accompanied by other factors, endangering a happy and long living romantic relationship: difficult family of origin + subsequent problems, stress due to financial problems. One partner with less of these problems is obviously better, so I'd advise the poor woman to pick the older, richer partner who sounds like a stabilising factor. If we're talking about middle class, I think it's more important that b…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 08:40 PM
1

1a) Only if he's loaded and has a busy life, too. Otherwise, she'll likely lose interest in him over time. 1b) Especially if there are kids, this sounds good and fair. 2a) If she's attractive enough and he doesn't secretly wish for a better looking woman - perfect. 2b) Sounds tiresome. Don't do it. 3a) She sounds like a quite sexual person. If he's like this, too - perfect! If he's an inexperienced guy prone to retrospective jealousy/FOMO - pass. 3b) Does he want a woman who's likely rather cons…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/24 08:23 PM
2

Without a spark, there's no fire, however slow-burning, at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 08:10 PM
–

People wouldn't have to pay you to do it if it was something you enjoyed. I don't understand this last sentence. Even if you really enjoy your work, you still need to get paid in the current economic system. How else are you supposed to buy other goods?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 05:48 PM
–

I hope you find a better job
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 05:39 PM
1

No, I thought I was forming a new friendship. He didn't spend a dime on me. Okay, maybe 3 Euros, as we were baking pizza with his roommates. But I think I brought a bottle of whine, so we were even.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 03:17 PM
0

Yeah, sure. There are always exceptions.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/24 03:12 PM
23

Yeah, in fifth grade, when I called him an asshole for giving me a love letter. I was so not yet into boys back then that I felt totally overwhelmed. That was not nice. I guess later on, my biggest fault was not rejecting guys fast enough when I wasn't interested, so they developed hope when it wasn't warranted. When a friend told me that he could see us becoming more than friends, I sincerely thanked him for his honesty and that I felt flattered. I think inventing a partner is the best as most …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/24 01:19 PM
6

Innocent until proven guilty is the way to go concerning legal prosecution. Don't forget that this (correct!) legal approach also has negative consequences the other way around. Let's assume that your ex told the truth and her former boyfriend indeed willfully ignored her safe word. I hope we both agree that this makes the sexual encounter non-consensual from this point on aka a real sexual assault. To bring such a case in front of a judge and win it, however, is nearly impossible. Precisely, be…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 04:40 PM
2

Kindness (to people overall) is a basic requirement for me. As this, being kind doesn't help a man getting selected but I'll exclude him as a dating option if he's not kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 11:44 AM
8

One could argue she assaulted you, too. Heavy scratching and biting without asking for consent sounds abusive, too. I guess, she was bad with boundaries all around - her own and those of other people. Situations like these are prone to tilt and become unconsensual quickly.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 11:39 AM
19

I think it's wildly underused. So many people are negged, begged and emotionally manipulated into sex they don't want, it's not nearly talked enough about. Don't get me wrong: I'm not talking about legal prosecution but we should definitely talk more publicly about unhealthy relationship dynamics and how to leave them.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/24 11:32 AM
25

Unfortunately, there's no fool-proof solution, just as women can't be sure their current partner won't turn into a stalking ex. What might mitigate risks: - No sex while being under the influence of alcohol or other drugs - Don't stick your dick in (obviously) crazy - Don't have sex with women who don't show enthusiastic consent - Don't pretend to be interested in a LTR when you just want casual sex
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 08:55 PM
–

Because without it, for me, there's no basis for a romantic relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 07:48 PM
7

Around thirty. By then, most people have enough life experience to stand up for themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 03:50 PM
2

Absolutely no
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/24 09:02 AM
0

It's really not that difficult: Young adults (18-25), due to lacking life experience, are often more gullible and less confident than older folks. Especially girls still internalise to be overtly agreeable when growing up. So, when a young adult dates someone significantly older, there's a bigger likelihood that the relationship is lopsided, in favour of the older partner. Does this mean that age-gap relationships are inherently bad? Of course, not. There are a lot of other factors at play. What…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/24 09:47 AM
1

I would love it if my partner finally learned to set some healthy boundaries and voice that he hates cruises and thus won't keep agreeing to doing them. Gosh, I hate anxious people who are so fucking insecure they demand their partner do something (worst: none of them wants!) only so they don't feel inferior to an ex.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 04:15 PM
3

Yeah, that absolutely would be fair. If she can't live without oral sex, she needs to keep looking for a suitable partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 04:04 PM
2

"You let yourself be abused by your ex, now I demand the same!". Yeah, that sounds healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 04:02 PM
2

So, her recognising how she's been in an abusive relationship and finally being able to establish healthy boundaries (aka don't do self-violating shit) with the new guy is "emotional baggage". I get it (not).
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 04:00 PM
1

Without trying - how are people supposed to find out what they like?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 03:46 PM
2

So a potential girlfriend is indepted to you from the beginning of the relationship, like the original sin? Because you changed so much for the relationship that you may expect the same from her? Sounds like a fun place to be in. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 03:43 PM
2

No
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/24 06:57 AM
3

Of course, why wouldn't it? The only thing that would bother me (porn relared) would be, if the teacher (male or female) uploaded content that conveyed the impression of the sex partner being underage i.e. adults dressed as children (illegal anyway in my jurisdiction but not sure about others). In this case, I'd be afraid there might be a paedophile inclination which would definitely bother me as a parent for obvious reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 10:50 PM
1

No, I wouldn't have a problem with it. It's part of the tracher's private life. The students aren't able to access and/or distribute the content legally. I also find it highly hypocritical to consume porn but condemn the producers. That's a message I'd also like to teach me children.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 08:15 PM
-3

Many things worthwhile in life are not without risk. The best approach is to mitigate risks: - First dates in public places, he/she doesn't get to know where you live - Telling a trusted one where you are - Trusting your gut feelings - Meeting people through social circles/mutual friends - Looking out for warning signs (love bombing, controlling tendencies, devaluation behaviour, inappropriate jokes, how do they treat other people etc.) But yeah, there always remains the anxiety that the guy won…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 10:44 AM
1

By this logic, shouldn't marriage rates be higher in the northern and western countries of Europe than the less wealthy southern and easter ones? I also don't understand the relation between wealth and marriage that you imply. The ceremony itself doesn't have to be costly, so that can't be it. Do you mean moving in together or a partner staying home? I think the differences in marriage rates are rather due to cultural norms. The more religious a country is or the more prestige being married carr…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/24 07:45 AM
2

I think this is debatable. On avarage yes, but social inequality is much higher in the US. To get back on topic: I think that marriage rates are not a factor concerning the wealth disparity between the US and Europe, neither as cause nor as effect. Do you agree?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 06:56 PM
1

The correlation is inverse: it's the richer/more secular nations in the west and north of Europe that have lower marriage rates.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 03:06 PM
4

I hope this post gets the attention it deserves. I like the deep reflection you did on this topic. Have you written something for women, what they should understand about men? I'd be interested in that, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 09:20 AM
2

Thank you! A man saying: "I will only marry a buxom, submissive virgin" may be delusional but he's not acting entitled as he's talking about his own boundaries. A man saying: "I'm a nice guy, I have a stable job - my looksmatch should want to date me" is acting entitled as he's questioning another person's boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 09:07 AM
7

I don't get the fixation on the institution of marriage. Large parts of Europe are over marriage and simply cohabiting. It's indeed a good development when only people who want to marry do so. Marriage rates over 90% percent likely means people can hardly make a different choice (enormous social pressure, no social security net, little education/job prospects for women).
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/24 07:33 AM
–

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. You insulted your friend and are now upset that she's insulted? 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 01:11 PM
5

Exactly. Because ideally you spend many, many years together. Living everyday life with someone who has a vastly different outlook on life sounds absolutely exhausting.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/24 07:55 AM
2

I'm pretty sure the single father households look vastly different on avarage. I assume they were financially better off before kids arrived, are more often the result of a healthy family torn apart by the the mother's death etc. I think you're confusing cause and effect. The outcomes for single mother homes are worse because these women were less stable emotionally and financially in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/24 04:26 PM
-1

I don't deny the pain caused by an unfulfilled wish (marriage and raising children). My point was to show that to end loneliness, it's a good idea to not just focus on the happy couples (who indeed often live in their little two-person bubble, at least in the honeymoon stage) but all the other people in society, trying to form bonds with them. It's just very limiting to view a romantic relationship as the only way to not be lonely.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 04:02 PM
1

Socialising is hard for quite some people, but if you don't push yourself to do it anyway, there's no escape to feeling lonely (if you're longing for connection). Like everything in life, it comes down to practice: the more you socialise, the better you'll get at it. When in a romantic relationship, some men try to outsource this emotional labour to their female partner. It's her who calls the in laws, invites the neighbours to a BBQ and buys gifts for the niece's birthday. While this may feel s…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 03:49 PM
-3

Not to attack you but I think this is a very limited/biased view of society. If you could look into each house, you'd see a quite varied picture, not just happy couples. There's also the elderly woman caring for her disabled adult child, a mid 50ies couple on the brink of divorce, the old hippy guy, the overworked single mum, the immigrant couple with many kids etc. I personally think it's very rewarding to keep one's eyes open for these other "outsiders" and try building a community with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 03:14 PM
2

This, a thousand times. Take my poor woman's gold 🎖 Another way neediness distorts your perceptions is that you perceive others as having the thing that you need but if they don't want to be with you, it means they are DEPRIVING you of your basic need. This thought creates feelings of entitlement, bitterness and anger towards the other persons. [...] Ugh, yeah. But they're such nice guys! /s
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 02:54 PM
–

Nah, if you're married/with child at 22 it's essentially over for you. 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/24 09:21 AM
2

More cohabitation without marriage. That's also why the number of children born out of wedlock doesn't tell much anymore, at least in big parts of Europe. While 50-60% of kids are born out of wedlock in many European countries, most of them are still growing up with both their biological parents in the household, they're just not married anymore. https://ec.europa.eu/eurostat/web/products-eurostat-news/-/edn-20210601-2
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 09:41 PM
–

You're debt free and 24. Chill, bro.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/24 07:49 PM
2

Be aware of your bias. Overall, about 20% of people have an avoidant attachment style. However, past 35 or so, 50% of singles are avoidant (as the anxious and secure ones are more likely to be in a relationship). So, it's only natural that - over time - you meet more singles who are okay with more non-committal relationships. That doesn't mean there's a trend against committed relationships overall.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 05:39 PM
3

I feel called out. 🥲 But yeah, some kind of not fully committed relationship is my ideal, whether you call it FWB, long-distance, living-apart-together etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 04:47 PM
2

I don't cheat because: - I don't want to be a cheater - I'm not interested in casual sex - simply being hot/admirable for their work, tells me nothing about a man's personality. I'm not interested in sex if I don't know their personality. Regarding the numbers: aren't there studies on this?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 04:42 PM
–

Victim mentality. When you can't change it, you don't even need to try.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/24 03:40 PM
1

None 1) The OF account is off-putting. He also seems to be very career driven and is a public figure - not a good fit for me. 2) Escorts is a no as is hunting and fishing. Not interested in trad lifestyle. 3) Autism is a no as well as his hobbies. Anime and video games are totally not my thing. Next, please!
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 10:49 PM
22

I don't trust men and their child rearing promises one yota. And since I have no interest in being the primary parent, it's childfree for life. Not sure if men are naive or willfully ignorant what it means to raise kids. Meh, doesn't matter anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 10:36 PM
3

Again, if you constantly have to force yourself to do activities with your girlfriend, don't do them. That's not romantic for anyone, same as the often lamented "starfish sex". You can't make people want things. Better quit if the ideas of what makes a happy relationship are that far apart.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 06:22 PM
2

Or mayyyybeee men are more often looking for some last minute ideas online 😉
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 06:16 PM
9

If you're not interested in vacations, gifts and and little suprises (providing/planning + receiving/participating), that's perfectly fine. If it even bothers/annoys you, you should definitely not take part in it. However, to participate in these actions and expect them to a certain degree in a romantic relationship is perfectly reasonable. For many people, it's the "glue" that holds relationship together, just like sex does. If you seek a romantic relationship but are not interested in these as…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 01:38 PM
11

And that seems to be a common problem in many heterosexual relationships. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I'm not happy to (only) be at home, playing video games, interrupted by bousts of sex. And just as men want a woman who's enthusiastic about sex, women seek a man who's enthusiastic about plans. Blessed are the people who are flexible and up for a lot of different activities. Because, if the activities your partner enjoys feel like a chore, resentment is nearly guaranteed. You can't persue things just for the sake of…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 10:04 AM
1

This absolutely is my preferred way of getting to know people/potential romantic partners. I want to watch how a person interacts with others over a few weeks when they don't try to present themselves in the most favorable light to woo someone. Unfortunately, these opportunities become much rarer after school/uni.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 07:12 AM
21

In every established heterosexual relationship that I know, it's mainly the woman who plans vacations (hotel booking + activities) remembers birthdays and buys thoughtful gifts (often even for the in laws) comes home from the city, having bought a small something they know their partner would enjoy Women do these things because they consider them important to nourish a relationship, so it's obvious why they expect the same in return. It's their love language. On the other hand, I know many men w…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/24 06:27 AM
2

My first thought was: wait, you're trying these on without underwear?! That's disgusting, hope you're not planning on returning them! I'm clearly not the target audience 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/24 05:49 AM
0

The point is, it's not the same kid unless you believe in reincarnation. And the whole "better being off dead" is dangerous thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 12:45 PM
-1

That red pill so fully ignores attachment theory is interesting. I guess many guys don't like to admit that they're the preoccupied attached partner, as they view it as feminine.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 11:21 AM
14

And dick jokes. But I don't really consider it masculine, rather infantile.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 11:13 AM
11

TIL men can't iron their shirts and pick matching socks. If that's really the case, I think you aren't at a place in ife where you should be dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 07:01 AM
1

I find it interesting that you consider a more socialist society more individualistic than a more capalist one. I've talked to some older people who lived in the GDR, and no matter their political stance, I think they would all agree that social chohesian was stronger than now in Germany (for better and for worse, it's always a package deal). Taking care of an ill/disabled relative at home is only a good solution if the caretaker is strongly supported by other people. Unfortunately, that's usual…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/24 06:35 AM
11

Concerning the realities of how arranged marriage works, I suggest you all read the corresponding sub. You'll see that people aren't set up with a partner they don't like. They check out potential partners, meet them and then both parties decide if they want to marry. However, you'll also see that the arranged marriage market is at least as brutal as the romantic one. Since there aren't any feelings involved in the beginning, people really shop around with a list of requirements. It's older user…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 04:18 PM
4

Dick jokes
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 02:00 PM
3

You know what would really improve the situation? If we didn't consider raising children a private amusement but the perpetuation of society. And as such, the costs would be covered by society (taxes) instead of (just) the parents. This would also improve the child's situation, as it lessens the negative consequences of being born into a poor family. But yeah, of course, we can also pressure the biological parents into selling their kids, that sounds like a great idea. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 01:47 PM
2

I don't think you're necessarily a monster if you leave your ill partner. If the relationship has been bad for a long time (often the case), a difficult diagnosis should not make you stay. Yes, I think it would be good if you still supported your ill partner but there are other ways to do this than by continuing a broken romantic relationship. Sometimes, severe illness also drastically alters a person's personality. I don't think it's fair to expect someone to stay in such a case. Some people ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 12:23 PM
2

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/11/091110105401.htm This, for example
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 10:46 AM
2

Conflict avoidance, not wanting to hurt his feelings Trying to ignore the fundamental differences The beautiful moments that were still there, lingering feelings
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 07:31 AM
2

I assume, you consider yourself a masculine man? So, you too are: individualistic, indifferent, critical of (wo)men, out-competing others? Has it occurred to you that these are characteristics that are unattractive in any romantic partner, male or female? Especially if you expect your partner to accommodate these traits.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 07:23 AM
2

Yet, studies show that more men leave their ill wives than vice versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/24 07:11 AM
1

Sex: I don't do casual sex, so nobody qualifies. Not even Giga-Chad. Relationship: After some months. I need to be convinced.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 10:06 AM
5

Actually, men are more into giving oral sex than women, statistically speaking (see e.g. this study: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/293015327_Was_it_good_for_you_too_An_analysis_of_gender_differences_in_oral_sex_practices_and_pleasure_ratings_among_heterosexual_Canadian_university_students#:~:text=Most%20men%20(73%25)%20and,28%25).) I'm surprised how many people aren't really into giving. So, maybe don't do it? I don't understand why so many people are keen on sex acts that are mainly …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/24 10:03 AM
–

It's not asexuality but responsive desire. Basically, for many women, her libido hibernates until it responds to a stimulus. So, as long as there isn't a guy who really turns her on, she doesn't think about sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 12:11 PM
–

Looking at the relationships around me, I've found no correlation between paternal involvement and a man's physical attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/24 11:28 AM
–

You don't need to have particularly high standards to get narrowed down to a small number of potential dates, you just need to combine 2-3 criteria. It's simply math. If you use the male/female delusion calculator and want to exclusively date fat, poor and older men/women, that leaves you with quite a small percentage of people as only few fullfill all three criteria, yet nobody would call you picky.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/24 05:37 PM
–

As others mentioned: ask yourself what you really want, not what you think society expects from you. Also look into avoidant attachment and the ace spectrum (especially aegosexuality) and see if that resonates with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/24 07:36 AM
–

Hormonal birth control simulates the second half of the menstrual cycle, NOT a pregnancy. It basically tells the body that ovulation has already occured, so no need to produce an egg.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/24 07:32 AM
32

Also: - More men than women are autistic (3:1-2:1), so it's easier for women to find a male partner with the same trait - Men might be more comfortable with a partner who's less skilled concerning social and emotional communication due to their own socialisation - Symptoms in women may present as less noticable/annoying than in autistic men I agree that NT woman + autistic man is often a particularly difficult combination as these women tend to find those men most attractive who are socially att…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/24 10:52 AM
1

Only "keeping practices that are necessary for the functioning of society" sounds like bullshit. It will mean whatever you want it to mean. If we're strictly survival mode speaking, most of everyday life products could be done away with. Nobody "needs" music, art and other means of entertainment. Certainly not sweets and alcohol. Good luck finding people for your hyper puritanical vision of society. Maybe try the Taliban?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 06:46 PM
1

Properly applied and removed makeup (even camouflage foundation on skin with acne) does not harm the body, just google it. Concerning environmental aspects: it's the same as every consumer decision, the range goes from natural, organic and animal-testing-free products to those with minerals mined by child labourers. But I don't believe you anyway that these "concerns" are anything more than strawmen for you. Where do "artificial alterations" begin for you? What about tanning (does it matter whet…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 05:34 PM
1

As I said: it's one part of a package, just like haircut, clean and fitting clothes/shoes, tasteful jewellery etc. But you seem to have a strange makeup fixation and I don't really get why. There are two options: - The makeup is really subtle and thus doesn't significantly alter the appearance - The makeup is super heavy, the person wearing it looks dramatically different than without it - but that's recognisable on first sight. I mean, you can spot caked on foundation and fake lashes from a thr…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 04:47 PM
1

Everybody, I guess? I like looking like I have my shit together as that usually garners a more positive response. And unless you don't blindly grab something from your drawer just so you're not naked and cold, you're doing the same. As Erving Goffman, a Canadian sociologist, said: everyday, we're all playing theatre. We're all trying to convey a certain picture of us (or rather: different pictures, in different contexts).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 12:56 PM
4

A little bit of make-up (concealer, blush, eyebrows, mascara) is often what's needed for many women to look "polished" or "professional" according to society's standards. If I was a guy, I'd still do my eyebrows (plucking) and use concealer because, why wouldn't I? It's the same as healthy looking hair (so you need to cut and brush it regularly) and clean, well-fitting clothes. We always decide how we want to present ourselves to others appearance-wise. I wouldn't call this bit of grooming weari…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/24 08:41 AM
6

Everybody was fucked for most of human history. You died of childbirth, war, famine and infections. You had lots of kids you didn’t necessarily want but needed, respectively got anyway. Half of those kids didn't reach adulthood. Even if you were royal, you weren't that much better off (compared to today): no free life choices, arranged/forced marriage, still dying of infections. If you're living somewhere in the "developed world", life has never been better than during the last 50 years. You get…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/24 07:28 AM
7

That would be like hitting the jackpot! But I also think I'm somewhere on the ace spectrum myself and the replies so far have only reinforced that impression. 😅 While I'm not against sex per se (it can be a physically pleasant experience), it frankly disgusts me how needy so many people are about it. I absolutely don't get how people can say that they need sex to feel loved/attractive/desirable. Then I realise how unfair this is as I just have as many needs regarding emotional connection and phy…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/24 12:41 PM
0

I was replying to the light switch article
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 09:34 PM
22

Because it's women's job to select the best genes and men's to spread their seed as much as possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 09:24 PM
5

This sounds rather like people with avoidant attachment and their their tendency to deactivate than women in general. But since I'm of the opinion that most red pill guys are preoccupiedly attached, having made hurtful experiences with avoidant women, the description fits. If we want to make generalisations, I think the reason women tend to have more negative memories of their exes are: - women are more often the dumper than the dumpee. If you want to convince yourself that it was the right deci…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 09:22 PM
4

Women's criteria for men regarding ... casual sex: - he's hot (physically attractive, dominant in bed) Different values, political views, hobbies etc. don't matter because they're not important in this regard ... relationships: - he needs to meet her threshold attractiveness (if just barely, might become a problem after NRE wears off), he's dependable, shares her values/humour/interests + myriad others Best option: guy is a 10 lookswise AND personality wise Second best option: Sex with the hotti…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/04/24 09:08 PM
7

I mean, you just have to really look at other people's relationships. Are they all happier? Of course, not. There's pros and cons to every path of life and it's mostly about which pain you want to choose. Most people are also remarkably resilient. Those who choose singledom today likely would've been doing okay in mediocre relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/24 09:21 PM
3

Respect! It takes years of therapy for some people to reach these conclusions. I agree, we need to be able to self-sooth before we can be good partners in a relationship. It's not our partner's job to re-enact our relationship with our parents, although most people unconsciously seek this arrangement. Have you read the work of David Schnarch? Because, what you write reminds me so much of his theory of differentiation.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 07:38 PM
4

Doesn't really matter. There are so many criteria that are far more important that it doesn't really matter. All things being equal, I (34) would pick the slightly experienced guy, assuming he's of a similar age. People learn by trial and error what they're looking for and it's absolutely preferable to have a partner who knows what they want. Virgin guy is probably religious with a family focus (which I'm not) or would tend to put me on a pedestal which I'd equally reject. I want to be liked or …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/24 06:03 PM
1

I think that "not wanting children" and "not able to find a partner" aren't as black and white as it may seem. Several studies show that people are less interested in having kids the older they get (even if they claim(ed) to want them) because they got so used to their childfree life. The more you're settled in a life, the more difficult it becomes to change everything (and that's what having kids means). There's also a huge difference between wanting kids on a hypothetical/theoretical level and…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/24 10:54 AM
0

And that's why I feel little sympathy for guys who get stuck with child support 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 10:29 PM
-1

Yeah, and then they whine how much they need sex to feel looooved in a relationship. Sure, bro.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 10:24 PM
5

Yeah, I saw that Pew study from 21. And I don't think that asking teens and tweens about their desire to have kids holds a lot of merit (unless you want to know what they think, of course). Anyway, when the people (18-50) were asked why they think they won't have kids, 56% answered "because I don't want them". Of the remaining 43%, only 15% percent said because they don't have a partner (~ 3% of all respondants!). This goes against the theory of people living such atomized lives that they don't …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 09:48 PM
15

The number of 45% percent of all women being childless means next to nothing, as most of these women will eventually have kids. What's really interesting is the number of childless women past child bearing years, as they'll remain without kids. And this number has actually fallen to 15% in 2014 in the US (https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2015/05/07/childlessness/). So no, just because a 25 year old guy can't find a woman for sex doesn't mean that there'll be a single childless women 20 …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 02:32 PM
-1

I'd rather frame it as "Mmmh, him for a threesome?" And yes, many people are into these kind of fantasies. In German, there's a saying: "You can get your appetite elsewhere, but you eat at home".
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 08:35 AM
9

People usually consider you a great listener when you 1) emphasise with them in an authentic way ("Yeah, I know how bad it feels to feel so disappointed ") 2) Consider their feelings valid ("I can see this really makes you sad") You can still offer a different perspective (disagreeing) or advice after doing 1 and/or 2. Most people are not good listeners, because it's not really taught in our culture. But everybody can easily improve, it's a learned skill. Last but not least: yes, sometimes peopl…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 08:18 AM
-2

It totally depends on the relationship dynamic. If the couple is happy and they enjoy banter like this, such comments (in moderation!) can spice things up. However, if the couple is in a difficult place (e.g. after a figh) it can come across as hurtful and aggressive. If a person is constantly anxious in a relationship, that's neither healthy nor attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 08:06 AM
28

I think that most women who take this route know it's not ideal but they come to the decision that it's good enough - for them and the child. And I think it's a legitimate option once you're in your mid/late thirties with no suitable partner in sight. If these women instead "settled" and "tied down some poor beta bux" they'd get even more flak. Concerning the very old fathers: it's a different perspective. In cases like that of DeNiro it's not about the issue of being fatherless but a parent cre…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/24 07:55 AM
3

Thank you, my thoughts exactly.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/24 12:27 PM
1

But why does it matter what a fantasy guy looks like if I'm not acting on it (as I know we won't be compatible)?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 03:34 PM
12

Just no. While in theory, this guy sounds promising, there are hundreds of reasons why he won't be a good match for me. If he's very career oriented and a gym rat, our outlook on life is already too different. And that's what I'm looking for: a man with a maximum of compatibility, not "the best" according to the 666 criteria. Of course, he was loaded and handsome but already not status oriented AND didn't care about sports AND shared my special interests, that would be a 100%. But I'm realistic …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 03:17 PM
38

I don't think the bar for men's looks/personality/character/effort is low and it shouldn't be as your ideally choosing a partner for life. However, I think there's confusion about what "high expectations" means. I don't think the infamous 6/6/6 is really that important to many women. But a lot of women have many and very specific criteria of what they're looking for in a partner (specific looks, interests, humour, life goals etc.).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/24 11:13 AM
–

I think this is a very male view on female desire und thus nut fully accurate. You are right, that there's a very, very small number of men who are so attractive that my mind automatically thinks about having sex with them. But: this is only a fantasy. Once I've interacted with them and they're not also exactly my type personality-wise, my interest wanes quickly. And I think that even if you're this "Giga chad" looks-wise (but little else), many women still would lose attraction to you over time…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 06:00 PM
–

I agree. In my last relationship, he was more into me than I into him, it felt terrible. If felt constantly guilty that I didn't love him more, when he was so infatuated with me. I have an avoidant attachment style so I'm already always in fault finding modus and with one foot out. It definitely feels better if I'm the one more attached.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 10:09 AM
3

Sure, but the choice for these men usually is to marry a similar aged woman or forego having kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 05:09 PM
13

Not that again. You can easily change employers and nobody bats an eye. It's not comparable to being dependent on a spouse.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 04:21 PM
7

I just don't see it playing out like this IRL. Since men are hardwired to lust after 18-24 year olds, young women are hit on by all types of guys. It's actually a relief to be older, as men hitting on a 35 year old are usually more relationship minded. Men who are looking for easy sex are after the younger gals since they know the older ones will see right through their bullshit. (Younger people in general are also more into partying and alcohol which makes it easier to spot the target group). S…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 10:44 AM
2

Yeah, but men who make having biological kids their priority usually look for a like-minded woman in their twenties, too. They don't wait around till their late thirties, desperately trying to date a woman ten years their junior. And with lots of money, fertility isn't such a big issue for women either. With IVF and donor eggs women can safely carry a baby until they're about 50. Well and by that point - no matter if you're a man or a woman - you should really think about if you want to be that …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 10:27 AM
4

Has to be the right look
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 05:13 PM
1

I'm wondering why it's nearly exclusively men who complain about being in the friendzone. Guys on this sub might claim it's because men can't be chosers (or they'll rationalise that the girl wasn't that attractive anyway) but my guess is another factor might be at play for many women: When I feel romantic attraction towards a guy I'm being friends with, it's merely a spark. To turn that spark into a fire, the romantic feelings have to be reciprocated. If that doesn't happen, the spark stays just…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 04:48 PM
16

There's a difference between aesthetic attraction and sexual attraction. Just because a guy is funny and good looking, I may still not want to fuck him.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 03:44 PM
1

Ideally, you're curious about as many things as possible. Then you encourage people to talk about their passion and really listen. Then you find interesting ways to talk about your passions. Anything can be interesting if you focus on feelings, mishaps and fun stories instead of technicalities.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 08:04 PM
13

Yeah, being needy is unattractive. Having boundaries isn't. In your example, this means for the woman: don't sleep with him, if you're not doing anything other together than sex. And for him: don't spend money of her, if she doesn't reciprocate in a way you like.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 07:31 PM
4

Haven't we established that men are far more interested in casual sex than women? A woman basically just has to be non repellent to get a ONS, while a man has to surpass a certain threshold in attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 01:43 PM
1

In a situation like this, I'd be fine with staying and co-parenting but I'm certainly not sleeping with a man I don't love anymore. He's free to have sex with others. Does this count?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/24 08:11 AM
1

Well, then don't you settle for these women either! Besides, this whole claim of "women ran through by chads" is nothing more than a legend. The majority of women only has a handful of sexual partners in her lifetime, just like men. Lots of casual sex isn't the norm for both genders. Study after study confirms this, but you guys here choose to ignore these findings because they don't fit your world view.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 01:32 PM
1

Well, the beauty of dating is that you only need to win over one woman. So even if your efforts make only one woman more interested in you, that's a win. Yeah, you likely won't become the king of casual sex if you're still only of avarage attractiveness, but that wasn't the point. Besides, I don't get how you cannot want to become the most attractive version of yourself independent of women as it provides advantages in nearly every regard of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 01:11 PM
5

Good luck trying to squeeze the toothpaste back into the tube. The game changer for women was effective contraception, not anything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 10:34 AM
3

Close to zero? C'mon! A flattering haircut, beard style and clothes go a long way. If you haven't optimized those, you don't really try. And personality is malleable, too. Be curious and less judgemental. Try things outside your comfort zone to discover new interests and people. Cultivate new passions. This doesn't only make one's life more interesting, it also makes you more interesting to other people. What's attractive to women is usually attractive to all kids of people. Is this hard as a so…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/03/24 09:57 AM
1

My main critique of men is that too many of them become complacent in relationships. And that's not a recent development but their default. The difference nowadays is that "fed, clothed, warm" and "he doesn't drink and doesn't hit her" isn't enough for most women anymore to stay in a relationship. This "issue" arises everywhere where women aren't socioeconomically dependent on their partners, aka "the west".
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 05:09 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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