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OogyBoogy_I_am Archive

View 0 posts and 68 comments by OogyBoogy_I_am on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

A mate of mine went through this. The best weekends his boys ever have was when they just sit around at his place and chill. They yak, they watch tv. They eat stuff and potter around in their rooms whilst my mate does his thing. They'll fire up the PC and play some games but most of the time, they just chill and relax. What he found after a while is that this is what the kids actually wanted all along. Not entertainment, not Disneyland on a shoestring, just time together doing "stuff". Where "st…
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/26 05:16 AM
6

You barely knew each other and then when you did get to know one another, she discovered that she really doesn't like you in person. But by then it was too late and you were married. Seems pretty clear.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/26 04:48 AM
2

We’re mutually indifferent That is actually the best way to be.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 02:09 AM
3

May you never ever see or hear from her again once this is done. Feel free to block her everywhere and anywhere and just consign her to that big bin marked "The Past - do not open."
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 01:30 AM
1

but the trust is completely gone and unlikely to return. I don't think he would care at this point. Once the trust has completely gone so to do the surprises. Everything just becomes validation and a case of "yeah I thought so."
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 11:11 PM
-9

Whoa mate, ease up on the anger. Please. For your sake. Not all women are pieces of shit just like not all men are pieces of shit. Pieces of shit come in all shapes, sizes and sexes and it's best that we don't become like them. Just see these pieces of shit for what they are.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 11:11 PM
-19

Change the sexes and the posts in there are almost a mirror image of the posts in here. Uncannily so.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 10:46 PM
1

I'm long term married so no longer relevant to myself however my eldest daughter found her partner via a friend. Her friend played the role of matchmaker - she knew they were both single, in their early 30's but were in different social groups so never would have met otherwise. And they hit it off. They just had their first baby.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 09:52 PM
0

Modern women: "I AM the table." Men" So are you one of those reliable ones made of oak that people are proud to show off? Or are you one of those cheap collapsable ones that gets left out in the rain the first time it is used and then gets chucked in the trash once it turns green?"
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/25 01:58 AM
1

Me? Way before I got married was a different world so back then it was parties, friends of friends, etc. Most of which are still relevant today, especially the friends of friends part. Seems to be very underrated for finding people to date.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 06:06 AM
-1

If you are that lazy in finding a prospective partner, what does that actually say about the quality of the people you are going to get!
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 02:03 AM
3

Time to rearrange the house OP. It may sound strange but it is a good thing to do. You make the house yours and clearing stuff out, moving it around and putting it where it makes sense has a way of clearing your mind. I highly suggest that you give it a try.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 06:57 AM
7

You can remain amicable but you do not have to be friends. If she mistakes being amicable for being "friendly" then that is on her and you should not dissuade her from that thought. So be amicable OP. Drop any hostility about what she has done and what she is doing, but also drop anything aside from the divorce. Your life together is at an end. You'll never ever be "best buds" or ever be close again, but it doesn't prevent you from being at least polite. And remember above all else that being am…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 01:52 AM
1

That is the key I think to whether a marriage (or even a relationship) is going to last the distance. Have a look at their family and if it's a basket case that deserves to be on Maury, then just bail and walk away. If they have a history of mental issues, walk away. So many people say "I can fix them" and learn that not only can you not, but they'll just infect you with their insanity.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/25 11:06 PM
8

Always wait until you have the money in your hand and you are at the stage where there is nothing she can do against you. Then once that is all done and dusted, burn their world down.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 06:01 AM
5

We as humans often have no idea what is happening in the lives of other people, and when we ourselves undergo trauma we tend not to think about the traumas that others around us are also going through. Our trauma is to us, front and centre of our existence after all. The best way then to handle it is to be empathetic to others and hope that we receive empathy for ourselves in return. If we don't get it, that's OK because it's not us who is choosing not to give it. And above all, if we can find a…
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 01:31 AM
0

In all the time we have been married, even the thought of controlling her, what she thinks and what she does is anathema to both of us. It's one of the reasons why I do love her so much is that she is her own person. But by the same token she also knows that I am also my own person. We are two individuals who work well together as a team. But I do think that you are missing the point in what makes really long term relationships work and far from having some ethereal "hope" about figuring things …
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 10:30 PM
2

This is pretty much the case. No tricking going on here, just a string of bad decisions.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 10:16 PM
3

It's not and you are simplifying in a rather stupid way what is a core issue. But to address it, this is more about being more open to adapting to changing circumstances whilst being mindful that sometimes adapting means giving up some parts of yourself. If those parts can be/should be given up (say alcohol consumption) then there should be no issues. It's when it comes to asking to give up core ideals or beliefs as part of that adapting that the question comes "is this worth doing." It's not ab…
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/25 01:25 AM
3

She "won" because you didn't fight. It's as simple as that. You robbed yourself in the long term by thinking to short-term. You could have gotten a lawyer but were too deep in the "here and now" mindset. You just wanted it to go away, you didn't want to borrow against your future so you ended up where you are. Sorry mate, but she won because you let her. But then again, if you saw that the present cost was not worth the future cost, then you actually won. You walked away and she is out of your l…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 11:09 PM
17

We made it through that turbulent late 30's/early 40's hump and from what I have seen, the majority of marriages always seem to fall apart at about that age. In our case we ended up splitting for 18 months whilst we worked on stuff. The important thing here is that there weren't any third parties involved, it was mainly me working insane hours and essentially leading a separate life of work and work travel where I lost track of the "reason" for doing that (she was a SAHM) and a whole lot of life…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 10:52 PM
7

Time OP. That's all you have going for you right now. Time. That clock will slowly run down and it has a set date and time for when it will. Have it circled as "Freedom Day', the day when you can finally and irrevocably tell her that you never wish to speak to her ever again. Until then, minimise the contact and expect nothing from her. At least that way you'll never ever be disappointed. Oh and grab a bag of popcorn as she has a fair way down to go and at least she will be worth some value to y…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/25 10:06 PM
9

Love makes us do incredibly stupid things. Repeatedly.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 10:36 PM
2

That sadly is also true. People get fed a diet of BS on crap like TikTok and think "why can't I have that?". Oo they set their mind to it, have a cheer squad of other single women calling out "you go girl!" and nothing will ever change that mind.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 06:10 AM
1

OP doesn't want a divorce hence the tone of my post. If he had said "I want one as she is nuts" then yes, your way would be the preferred option to take. But this is against what OP wants.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 03:42 AM
7

I mean, important stuff like football stats means random non-important shit like ex's has to go.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 02:35 AM
21

It's the same thing as waking up thinking you have missed an exam, but you graduated a couple of decades ago. Just your brain clearing out space.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 02:14 AM
7

So, as a SAHM how does she think she is going to fund this new life of hers? My guess is that she is just thinking that "oh, OP will just keep funding everything from the magic bucket of money and he owes me anyway!" It may be in your best interests to take the offence on this and give her a taste of what the reality of her life will be once a divorce happens. So if you want to start the process of changing her mind, start adding a huge dose of reality to her decision and begin talking about fin…
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/25 11:49 PM
4

Guaranteed way of never ever running into the ex ever again.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 07:09 AM
7

Are you insane OP? You just got out of one marriage and have barely had time to even breath, let alone get used to being single and here you are trying to leap straight into another relationship! Just forget about sending her a text or sending her anything. Give yourself at least a couple of years to settle into a new life and then see if there is room in it for someone else to join you. Let yourself heal mate.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/25 10:46 PM
6

You just managed to claw your way out of the fire, having been badly burnt by the whole ordeal. And now your first act is to put on some nice clothes and jump right back into the fire!! Are you insane?
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/25 05:11 AM
12

The one thing that always, and I mean always get missed from all of the posts and comments such as this is the one thing that none of them will ever admit to. You picked this guy and said "Yep, I want to marry them and have their kids." No one held a gun to their head (unless they were in an arranged 3rd world marriage) and no one forced them to pick the guy that they claim ruined their lives. They did this willingly and of their own volition. Of course it goes unsaid that their own shitty choic…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/25 02:29 AM
5

Telling yourself over and over "I don't care". Every time a thought of them pops into your head just say to yourself "why do I bother thinking about this? Oh look, an interesting looking tree." Practice the art of looking through her whenever you see her. Keep all answers to single word responses. This growing an indifference to her is a process whereby you just repeatedly tell yourself the same thing "I just don't care." You live in the moment so when the kids are with you, you are 100% Dad. An…
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/25 01:29 AM
1

There are only so many lifelines you can throw to someone but if they keep tossing them aside or ignoring them, in the end you just simply run out of things to throw to help them. The hardest thing anyone can ever say is "I can no longer help you." And sadly, you are at that point. There is nothing more you can do except save yourself and save your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/25 11:39 PM
6

Can she do anything? You can legally say "no". She can lawyer up and play court roulette in response. And all you can do is lawyer up and match her.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/25 04:57 AM
1

Umm, none of this makes any sense. In Australia, you have to be separated for a minimum of 12 months to file for divorce. The way the family court system here works is fairly cut and dry and is basically a set of formulas that start at 50/50 of post-marital assets and then starts taking into account things like income disparity, who earns what, etc. It's so cut and dry as to be very boring and NOT subject to the same lawyer shenanigans as say you may find in the US. In fact, most lawyers - unles…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/25 04:48 AM
1

More red flags here than a May Day Parade in Red Square in the old USSR.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/25 03:57 AM
10

You can lead a horse to water but fuck me it's hard to drown them. Just get it done and ignore her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/25 10:09 PM
3

Not having to handle her bullshit everyday Just think of the serenity, the peace and the quiet! Coming home to that would be a blessing.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 01:52 AM
9

You can miss what you had knowing that you will never have it again. It's like visiting somewhere and because the stars aligned, the weather was perfect and the accomodation was fantastic, you had the best holiday ever. But in the intervening years the hotel you stayed at got pulled down, the weather will never be as nice and that even if you tried your hardest, any future holidays there would always be missing something. That is the analogy of your now long gone marriage. We are entitled to mis…
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/25 10:50 PM
9

Remember this. The weight you are carrying is being carried because not only do you choose to carry it, but that it is just yours you are carrying. It's lighter because you aren't also carrying someone else's.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/25 03:49 AM
2

Get a lawyer and ask them.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 05:56 AM
2

I'll keep an eye for her crying on TikTok about how all men are bastards.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/25 05:25 AM
3

So did you ever get to the "why?" as to the whole "wake up one morning and blow up everyones lives?" reason or was it just that old amorphous "I'm just not happy" BS and used unlimited sex to get her jollies. I mean, what the fuck did she think the end game was? Probably doesn't matter but if I were you I'd be ring fencing and digging defensive ditches around your life that she will never be a part of it outside of kids handovers. "Aww, you pissed away all your money and your latest bf pumped an…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/25 11:17 PM
18

Do not get married. It's as simple as that. She can remain your gf, you can keep everything separate and things can keep rolling on as normal WITH the added protection that if things go south, she can't ruin your life. You gave her what you require to get married, she has done none of it so then why pray tell should you just shrug your shoulders and do it anyway! Make it make sense. Edit: And ffs do not get her pregnant and seriously consider just splitting up. She is showing you who she is and …
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 01:53 AM
3

Just remind her that precedents such as this can swing both ways and if she is going to stick to this, to not be at all surprised if the next time she needs some leeway, that you will remember this and take the appropriate action. Two can always play the stupid game she is playing, so it is one that she really wants to play? I think she has forgotten that when things are amicable, both parents benefit.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 01:27 AM
1

Ahh the old "spread the pain and misery" strategy.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 01:07 AM
2

But then one day the money spigot that is you gets turned off. And by then, you'll still be earning money and living the life and she'll be making TikTok videos about how tough it is to be a divorced woman in her 50's living on welfare.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/25 12:25 AM
3

Learn to become a single guy. That's your goal for now.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 02:35 AM
9

But she adds value to my life and I to hers. And this is the best thing to go into any relationship with. The other person has to add value to you, and you have to add value to them. A lot of people seem to ignore this one simple fact. Good on ya.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 02:37 AM
8

One of the best skills anyone can have in this life is that of self sufficiency and self resilience. As a Gen-Xer we kinda grew up with both so we just "have it", but it's something that can be learnt. So that self-sufficiency and self-resilience starts with being happy being by yourself. and not only that, being able to entertain yourself without the need to have someone else there filling that role. And it's the key to dealing with issues such as loneliness. If you look at the sum of your exis…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 11:44 PM
20

I'm 60 and have a few friends my age who like you are single. Some have been single for a long time (talking multiple decades) and some are newly single like you. And all of them are not just enjoying their lives, but are thriving. Some throw themselves into work, others their kids, and yet others just life in general. The key to all of them is that they are just busy with their lives. All are not interested at all in ever dating again and whilst some have female friends, all of these are more a…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 10:57 PM
5

She'll discover the joys of being a part time single mother. Her life will be either working to pay the bills, or entertaining the kids when she has them. Cue her making TikTok's about how hard it is to be a single mother. You can set an alarm clock on it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/25 03:22 AM
3

She has new friends at this new job, some are single. There is an old saying "Single women make other women single."
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/25 02:53 AM
12

You weren't legally married so the formalities are as your lawyer described. Just a simple split of assets and you can be done with her in your life. The legal term for though is Bigamy and in a lot of places, that is illegal and is a criminal offence. And that would be a nice thing to hold over her head if she chooses to not play nicely.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/25 11:17 PM
3

Support can only go so far and for you, if your support for her comes at your expense, then you know that you have hit the limit. You can only fill your bucket so far before it starts overflowing and for you, your bucket is full. You can't take on any more and if that "more" is her and her issues, then sorry but you just have to say "No I simply can't." and that's that. How does someone even deal with all of these challenges at one time? As someone who has been through periods of intense and con…
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 11:16 PM
2

Get a new lawyer for starters. And then once you do, file a complaint with your local bar association about your old lawyers conduct.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 02:48 AM
10

It's good to recognise that you could have been a better person for her but it's also good to recognise that for some people, no matter how good a person you become you can never be one for them. And that's ok. You have it in you to become a better person than you are now. It may be as simple as tinkering around the edges or it could be as complex as a full on overhaul. The thing is that you do all of this not because of her and definitely not for her, but for yourself. You also do it for the ne…
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 12:14 AM
5

Come to Australia. You'll never want to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/25 11:08 PM
13

Have you thought about sending them a token payment for the rent owed on you being in their heads?
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/25 06:32 AM
4

You have been seen and heard mate. Just think though - she is now some other poor guys problem and problem she will be. And pretty soon she'l no longer be your problem at all. Co-parent with her, never give her the time of day and just get on with your life. The whole charade she is putting you through will be over before you know it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 04:46 AM
1

It gets better as they get older. They are only kids for a short time and then when they become teenagers and then become adults, all of this becomes moot anyway. My mate now sees his sons on a regular basis and the rest of the time he works, does hobbies or catches up with friends.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 11:44 PM
2

I watched a mate of mine do 3 days on, 3 days off and it was an absolute nightmare for them all from the word go. All they ever did was run around, had no stability and the kids by the end were exhausted. As you have found, having that stability and a set routine is good for everyone - the parents and the kids. And I know for myself when we had an 18 month separation that just keeping it to the same days worked well.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 11:23 PM
7

Since she has been back she has been all business with me Time to get yourself in the same mindset then. Treat it like you would a business decision where you are in it to unwind a partnership. Because when all is said and done that's pretty much what divorce is. All legal documents, proposals and counter proposals and trying not to get screwed by the outcome. There will be a time for you to unleash the emotional aspect of your marriage falling apart through no fault of your own, but that is not…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 03:00 AM
9

Guess her life isn't turning out the way she thought it would. Cue the "Oh well, anyway" meme. So are you guys divorced yet or still going through the process?
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 02:48 AM
4

2-2-3 is insane to be honest and having seen kids go through this, it never ends well. The best ones I have seen are week on/week off. It gives the kids much more stability and allows the parents to recover better as well. I'd seriously look into changing that 2-2-3 regime.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 02:24 AM
2

Document all the time you spend with him OP. Every single minute of every day. The courts hold this fairly strongly when they look at custody arrangements and if you are doing the majority of the caregiving for your son, then you can push for something greater than 50/50. When it starts to tip into your favour, guess who gets to start paying child support and alimony. Get yourself a lawyer mate and start documenting everything. Time spent being the caregiver, money you spent on raising him, ever…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 02:16 AM
8

As others here will attest to, this is the best way to handle this situation. Get your ducks in a row, act as normally as you can around her (or avoid being around her if you must) and then when your lawyer says Go, set your plans in motion. Nothing says "This marriage is over" than unexpected divorce papers.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 12:28 AM
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