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Open-Jacket-6499 Archive

View 1 posts and 32 comments by Open-Jacket-6499 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
49

Open-Jacket-6499/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 06:50 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

You're daughters will think of you based on your relationship with them, not with your STBXW. Give them the love they deserve and do your best. But don't kill yourself in a unhappy marriage in false hopes that this way they'll love you
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 03:46 PM
2

I had a similar feeling and went to my therapist. He said ; welcome to grief my friend. You're grieving the loss of something that was once an important part of your life. And you will continue to grieve it for some time. I.e 1-2 years. Holidays, birthdays, anniversaries etc will hit you in the face. And all of this grieving is normal. It's pain that you need to own and process to heal and emerge as a stronger man. Someone who cheated for 5 out of 6 years doesn't deserve you. You can do better..
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 08:44 PM
-1

Tough spot bro. I don't know anything about Canadian law. But what if you "lost" your job for some time while divorcing? Would that have any impact on Child support? Ofc retirement is a different story and won't be impacted by this.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 08:29 PM
5

So true. My wife makes more money than me but has zero savings and claims to have no clothes. Meanwhile I have decent savings. Then i look at her closet and see where the money went
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 10:30 PM
2

Bro the temptation to help is real and is because you're a nice person. But nice people need to protect themselves. I strongly recommend reading "No more Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover. You need a new mindset and this book gave me that. If you don't have time for the book, just look up a podcast by the same guy. It helped me. It'll help you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 10:19 AM
1

That's entirely possible. A massive deceit though. And here we are at the same outcome thinking about ending it
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 07:15 AM
1

I thought I'd not gain anything from knowing the source since nothing changes. But tbh, i know it will come back to haunt me every few years whether we're together or not.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 08:13 PM
4

That's horrible. But she's never had her nails done.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 06:37 PM
4

Hahah. You're so right. Also my ego feels good that you called the guy a loser. You're so right.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 09:25 AM
2

Thanks. Pregnancy was very traditional i.e. 3 scans and regular checks at obgyn throughout.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 04:03 PM
4

That would blow my mind and understanding of reality.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 10:35 AM
2

I don't get what you mean here but your post above is 100% right. It's been long since I researched this so my info is rusty now.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 08:14 AM
5

She is taking medication now but wasn't at the time of diagnosis. Viral load is negligible now so no health risk. Also her immune system is in a decent shape with CD4 count at a decent level which makes me think that she didn't spend too long being without medication
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 08:12 AM
3

Yes. Infectious disease Specialist who is also the treatment advisor.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 08:10 AM
4

She started medication in front of me. I was involved by the doc due to being her partner so no chance that she was taking it earlier and hiding it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/24 08:09 AM
11

If you take ARV during pregnancy and keep the viral load low, it's not passed on. Babies make their own immune system. Risk is only during delivery which is managed well with good healthcare. Still knowing all this, you're shitting your pants from panic for first six months until all is clear.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 10:41 PM
3

None
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 10:38 PM
3

No. First time with diagnosis.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 08:27 PM
6

I don't think i can live with it. But i do feel the need to know what happened. It doesn't matter much for the relationship but i can't grieve what i don't know of.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 07:41 PM
7

Actually I've thought about this as well. Denial as a defense mechanism seems like a very strong possibility here.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 06:28 PM
4

I have tried but didn't find any leads. What doesn't help is that it's been 4 years since the diagnosis. She's probably erased everything dealing with her own shock of getting such a shit disease.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 06:26 PM
3

I've tried the Convo. She's repeatedly told me she's no idea how she got it. So I'm left to guess work. And you're totally right about the sex part. I'm leaving so it won't be happening. She's on medication though which makes transmission very very unlikely.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 06:02 PM
7

I'm leaving now. I've given it 4 years to and a few conversations to come clean. I don't think there is any point in staying. Even if she never tells me what actually happened which is the likely scenario
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 06:01 PM
3

Nope. She's on medication. Already confirmed with multiple tests.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 05:59 PM
3

I don't think she knew she was infected judging from the reaction when she got the news. So she would not expose me knowingly. But the second part is so right. I asked her on multiple occasions. First she said she didn't feel safe telling me and then a few months later it changed to that she didn't know how she got it. Honestly 4 years down, if she'd come clean, I'd be open to healing through it but without coming clean how do you heal.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 04:40 PM
3

I think the same. Just out of curiosity are you a healthcare professional?
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 04:33 PM
5

First time I think about it cuz she had a miscarriage before getting pregnant. But very valid point. I don't know how I'd react If I'm not the father. Fuck me
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 04:19 PM
3

No medical issues that require transfusion or surgery
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 04:17 PM
4

I see your point. I've read similar. But i also read that in most cases in 8-10 years ppl are extremely sick. This is not the case here. That said, i gave her this benefit of doubt for 4 years. What makes me think is that a kid born while infected is almost always infected. Here that didn't happen. Thank God it didn't happen but makes me question myself.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 04:11 PM
6

Clarify on timeline: 1. Married in 2014 2. First kid born in 2017, breastfed, tested negative 3. Pregnant in 2020, she tests positive No medical procedures involving transfusion or surgery from 2017-2020. There was a so called "break" from marriage in 2019. That's where my mind goes.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 04:09 PM
7

I'm lucky tbh. I think it she got it during a period where the marriage was dull and bedroom was cold which saved me thankfully. Since her diagnosis I've gotten myself tested a lot due to paranoia so I'm clean thankfully. I'm quite sure she's been lying. She's been swearing on the lives of a lot of near and dear which sometimes makes me doubt my belief that she cheated. Hence my post here i guess in a moment of doubt to see if I'm thinking sanely. But chance of IV drugs and malpractice are close…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 03:26 PM
11

The thought that she's cheated has crossed my mind a million times, but still hits when I hear someone else say it, feels so real. Crazy how I've lived with it for 4 years now. I'm grateful that me and kids are safe. I don't know how such a trauma can be resolved when the other person is nowhere close to admitting. I guess it can't be resolved. I've tried bringing it up in couples counseling but i think she didn't let it go far. Hope nobody goes through this experience.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 12:40 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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