~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 56 | Ex lazy during marriage but not after divorce? | Own-Finish-5021 | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/01/25 05:03 PM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Forcing yourself to not think about your kid is the most unnatural feeling...About 1.5 years for me. In my case, I was mourning the relationship while still in it; grieving its death while not realizing that I was for years. The difference between before and after separation/divorce was being physically alone instead of just emotionally alone. Unlike many people who say they miss their spouse or the good times with them, well I didn’t really ever feel like that because it hadn’t been like that for years. I would have to think back to the early days of dating during the h… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/04/26 04:38 PM |
| 3 | Forcing yourself to not think about your kid is the most unnatural feeling...I admittedly do the opposite: instead of shutting down the memories and experiences, I live in them. They keep me alive and remind me that I’m human. I make new ones during my time every time. Most important, I use them to reassure myself that I am a dad and a damn good one at that despite my ex’s consistent attempts to tell me otherwise. They try to get under my skin with little quips and jabs, back handed compliments, etc and it really impacted me during our marriage. No more. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/04/26 10:38 PM |
| 1 | 19F trying to understand my dad better after divorce — any advice?This! I’m also of the authoritative parenting style (that is not to be confused with authoritarian parenting) and my ex was of the gentle parenting style (or what I like to call hands off parenting). Education, hard but meaningful work, responsibility, accountability, reasonable discipline, helping others, being grateful for your life and family, and showing thanks and respect. My ex was not the complete opposite of this but they also weren’t terribly supportive of it or only selectively so when… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/03/26 03:28 AM |
| 3 | Tik Tok and ChatGPT making women’s brain melt?Been there and I feel you. The “I’m doing my own research” defense is complete bullshit and so aggravating. Especially when the “research” is Dr Tik-tok, wellness influencers, or just social media in general. They usually have zero experience in the area they are researching and zero training in even how to do actual research (hint: it is nothing like using the encyclopedia to write your grade school reports). Never mind that after doing their “research”, they are now undisputed experts about th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/10/25 09:40 PM |
| 3 | "Women's Empowerment" movement has destroyed 10x the lives that [not allowed to say] movement.This, the first red flag. It was right in front of me from early on in the relationship. I ignored it bc my ex convinced me that they had worked through it based simply on the fact that they talked about it. What I didn’t pay attention to was what they were actually saying and how they talked about it. On reflection, it was very superficial and cold, emotionless. That little voice was talking to me, “something is off”, but I wasn’t listening. I should have listened to my gut. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/25 01:17 AM |
| 1 | What was your last straw?Not yet. It’s an outstanding issue that will hopefully be resolved in the near future. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/06/25 07:42 PM |
| 2 | IdkTLDR: do things that are for you. Maybe they are old and forgotten things or new and unknown. Either way, each day just do things that allow you to rediscover you and write your own story. I’ve done bunches of different things since separation and divorce, all of them with the simple of focus of rediscovering myself. Some examples of many: I just went on a vacation and for the first time in more than a decade it was actually just that, a vacation. I actually enjoyed it. I was able to relax and j… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/06/25 03:10 PM |
| 5 | What was your last straw?This I know and recognize. I feel so deeply for you. Mine was a verbal threat from her over a medical issue regarding our child that we were on complete opposite ends of the spectrum. Not doing it has real potential consequences and the risk of doing is very minimal. I am all about proceeding forward, she was not. My words were, “I will never forgive you if this happens bc we don’t do this.” Her response was cold, flat, immediate, and with the same unrecognizable evil, “I will kill you if you do… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/25 01:10 PM |
| 5 | Ex lazy during marriage but not after divorce?It is not. I am a guy complaining about their ex-wife. I use “they/them” instead of “she/her” as a personal way of moving on. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/01/25 10:26 PM |
| 12 | Why is it always the same story?Yep, and big into wellness everything (to the point that I HATE the wellness industry). Then came the anti-vaccine stuff followed by anti-school talk and other bizarre conspiracy theories. All of this while maintaining voluntary unemployment…I mean being a successful girl boss entrepreneur (cough MLM hun cough). Oh then there was the simple life philosophy she followed: HER WAY! Compromises were few and far between, half assed attempts at best and more often just done begrudgingly. Dead bedroom … | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/24 04:10 AM |
| 1 | Did coparenting get easier as time went on?While there was some evidence of these differences early on they were not anywhere nearly pronounced or were “obfuscated”. They also were not militant and uncompromising on these issues until about years 4-5 and after. Most started to really manifest after kids and then really kicked in during and after COVID. That is when the conspiracy theories really kicked in. But let’s be honest, I was blinded by “love” and ignored or excused things…I’m not the first and won’t be the last. The issue on empl… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/10/24 11:01 PM |
| 1 | Did coparenting get easier as time went on?I hope I can get there but my STBX are on opposite sides of some very divisive topics. I am pro-science, medicine, vaccines, education, being punctual, being employed and pulling your weight especially in a relationship. They are anti-science, medicine, vaccines, education, being punctual, being employed and pulling your weight especially in a relationship. So it’s definitely not currently friendly! | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/10/24 08:07 PM |
| 2 | I think my wife is prepping to divorce me. Help me prepare.This! I was on and off drinking beer to cope with the lack of support from my spouse. Not to the point of intoxication, rather to numb myself just enough and to take the edge off. It was and remains a double edged sword: it certainly helps in the very immediate short term but does nothing to solve the actual issues in the long term. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/10/24 11:43 AM |
| 1 | Anyone divorce shortly after kids?Yep along those lines, repeated in a variety of ways from early childhood to present. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/24 04:26 PM |
| 4 | Anyone divorce shortly after kids?Just my way of moving on. Some people use an unflattering nickname, I chose to use the third person pronouns generally. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/24 02:34 PM |
| 2 | Prenup ExperienceI relied on a lawyer. As to the type of lawyer I think it depends on your the complexity of your situation. If there are no significant assets and your overall finances are simple, then a divorce attorney would probably be fine. If there are significant assets, businesses, inheritance, trusts, etc then you probably need to look for lawyers that have experience or specialize in those areas. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/24 01:46 PM |
| 7 | Anyone divorce shortly after kids?On the path too. They went hardcore with what they said was attachment style parenting but was really some hardcore helicopter parenting with more than a little dash of childhood abandonment issues. Then there was the descent into wellness everything; pushing homeopathy; more and more woo; breast feeding YEARS past anything normal let alone beneficial; catering practically every meal and refusing to acknowledge the picky eating; caving to every demand, meltdown, and tantrum; the anti-medicine, a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/10/24 12:09 AM |
| 0 | How I Saved My Marriage and Transformed Our Family Life – My StoryThis might work as long as one or both of you haven’t gone down any conspiracy theory rabbit holes. Once this happens, there is almost zero chance at having any conversation…safe or otherwise. With CTs all rational thought and discourse is gone. The CT believer is right, the chosen person who has seen the Truth; the non-believer is simply one of the sheeple, too close minded to see the Truth. Don’t believe me, then try to have a conversation with an anti-vaxxer, a Qanon adherent, a fleffer (slan… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/10/24 12:39 AM |
| 2 | Prenup ExperienceIt was a necessity for me given the massive difference in employment and earnings from before and during the marriage. To be clear under-employment and more frequently unemployment were consistent themes throughout our marriage. Even at their best, I was earning many times as much as they were. It would have been completely foolish for me to not have had it. So far during the process, I have been able to protect myself because of the terms and conditions while still providing what I think at lea… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/10/24 09:13 PM |
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