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Own_Chemist_2600 Archive

View 9 posts and 81 comments by Own_Chemist_2600 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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15

Her. Her voice. Her face. Her rage. My supplicant fear. The fear.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 03:39 PM
1

When somebody hears you're going through a divorce.... anybody with a brain is gonna filter everything they hear and discount it accordingly. In this way, you will find out who has a brain. You will likely be able to maintain relationships with everyone who has a brain. In this way, your wife is sort of doing you a favor. I lost almost everyone because her friends had become my friends, and my wife surrounds herself with facile minded alcoholics. Double and triple down on the intelligent, open m…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/25 04:29 AM
2

If you can find a way to be happy… And that may be months away or a year or two years… But if you can find a way to be happy and your children, see that… That will be more important than anything else. Their memories of you happy and enjoying life and being healthy will be the most important memories they ever make of you. It sounds like maybe they haven't been seeing you happy for a long time. I wish you well, bud. 4 billion women on the planet… probably 200 million of them you would be a lot h…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 11:21 PM
1

Ha. I think the healthiest way to approach it is to make it about your partners decision and then keep that circle as small and as neat as possible. I think we have a flawed tendency to look at the affair partner as a missing piece we were not able to provide, and I don't think that's necessarily true.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 09:26 PM
2

It's not about whoever they were sleeping with.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 04:18 PM
9

The baby making parts are chaos engines....they set their minds ablaze with glow in the dark chemicals robbing them of reason and accountability. Sorry bud.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/25 06:27 PM
2

Thank you very much. I'm going to change my life. I am changing it now.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/25 05:37 PM
1

Thanks for your response. Don't want to feel this way anymore. I will make life different. Better.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/25 05:37 PM
2

Well… Jesus.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/25 02:56 AM
3

All they do is load up feelings like a gun. Carrot and stick. All manipulation, all the time. They take and twist us. We put them on a pedestal and they become demigods. They take our love and need to please and put a ring through our nose...and hate us for letting them do it. God....my codependency made my marriage last a decade. Glad to be ending it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 03:16 AM
2

I wish you well man.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 01:28 AM
9

I used sex workers to destroy my soon to be ex-wife's power over me. I was codependent to a Jekyll and Hyde alcoholic for many years. After years and years of shame and insanity I broke down. I slept with many sex workers the first six months I was out of the house. It is a potential addiction. It can be the first thing you think of when you wake up and the last thing you think of before you go to sleep. Any quality provider will be very expensive to see habitually. I hope you enjoy yourself. Al…
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 01:11 AM
1

Thanks for sharing bud. I appreciate you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 03:03 PM
1

Yeah. Got there.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 02:52 PM
2

Bless you sir.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 09:13 PM
1

Hahahahahhahahhahahahaha
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 09:11 PM
5

Raised her for four years from 11 to 15. I really enjoyed cooking with her and teaching her how to drive. I guess it's a lot simpler for her this way, but I miss her. I asked my wife if we could speak to her together and she said no… The night I was leaving she told me I would never get a chance to talk to her again. I did have the opportunity to speak to her twice more, but it was like talking to a brick wall. No light in the eyes. No interest in my words. Which is OK.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 02:31 AM
1

That is a simple and concise truth that I am going to internalize! Very powerful. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 09:10 PM
2

Glad to be alive. Hope you are well.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/25 01:29 PM
1

Yeah, the whole game seems unpleasant. I know people in good marriages. I wish them well. I'm not sure what to do next. Aside from figure out how to be good to myself. I stayed too long and repressed a lot of feelings. Thats the worst part of this… I sold myself down the river. I sold myself down the river to be with a person. I sold myself down the river to be with a person that was broken and frightening and chaotic. I wanna figure out who I am and be good to me. I want the voices that used to…
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/25 04:23 AM
1

The case in liar liar when I was a kid was enough to make me not want to get married. I did it anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/25 04:10 AM
2

Yeah, I don't think I have my own back. I want to badly.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/25 03:52 AM
1

I'm so sorry. That sounds really hard. Are you OK? Thanks for the reply.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 10:37 PM
1

Thank you very much for sharing. I'm gonna have to read this damn codependent no more book 10 times I guess, I hope you are well. How are you?
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 10:26 PM
3

Thank you for sharing!
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 10:25 PM
3

Yeah, I think what I consider empathy is actually hopeless self betrayal in the hopes of being valuable to somebody else because I don't know how to be valuable for myself. I think I was following that particular rabbit all the way to hell. Divorcing now. Trying to reconcile my self betrayal, and insanity and staying this long.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 10:25 PM
2

I hope you are doing well. Are you OK?
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 05:43 PM
2

Thank you very much. Just not compounding every day life in the wrong direction has been wonderful.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 05:43 PM
2

I love his almanac. Good stuff!
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 03:13 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 03:11 PM
1

That sounds pretty good to me. i'm very happy for you and I hope this new foundation gives you some room to grow the way you want to. Peace and respect to you. As far as easy, healthy food goes those microwavable bags of steamed vegetables. Topped with tahini and lemon juice have been a quick and delicious way to eat healthy for me.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 02:50 PM
2

The late great Charlie Munger said get the toxic people out of your lives. That is certainly what I'm doing now. I also need to change myself… I think a healthy person might've left in the first six weeks instead of after 15 years. I hope you are OK. I hope you are safe and healthy now. How are you?
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 02:30 PM
1

I'm looking for a trauma therapist now. I'm reading codependent no more. I spent too much time at home. I'm still numbing out with porn from time to time but less often. I'm trying to take long walks. I find them helpful. I'm eating cleaner and cooking at home a lot more often. I'm working a lot less and still managing to be OK. I feel pretty vulnerable and I'm not looking forward to the actual divorce process because I feel like she's going to try to take me for everything she can. I put $200,0…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 02:21 PM
3

I'm very happy for you.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 02:13 PM
4

There be demons out there. Glad you are alive. I think we get boiled slow over the years. They give us the carrot. They give us the stick. All the while they're focused on what they want. it's not about intimacy or love. It's about control. It's about them. I know there are women out there that aren't like this. I know there are wonderful people out there. But I'm wrecked. So I've got a lot of work to do before I go and try to talk to any of them. I hope you are safe. Are you in therapy?
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 12:42 PM
2

I agree. She's already insinuated to people that I'm unsafe. I later found out she's been laying a framework for me to be something along the lines of inadequate or broken over the last few years. Told people things about my family. it's been bad. I was complicit in it to a large degree. I just kept giving. It's codependent and sick of me. I'll let her abuse, my mother. I'll let her abuse me. I think she's going to take a lot of my money. But I'm 41 and I have a future that doesn't involve her a…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 06:52 AM
3

Indeed. I'm years away from it. Currently caretaking my mother. Getting my sister on disability. Trusting my lawyer to get me a good divorce. Learning the hard way that listening to my gut is very important. Boundaries are where it's at. I know where it's not at… For sure.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 06:32 AM
3

Are there plenty of women out there that are OK just dating or not getting married? Years away from it. I probably need at least two years of therapy to get over this fucking awful feeling. Anybody found a good way forward with good boundaries?
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 06:02 AM
4

I like Swedenborg! There's a character in Jim Harrison's The Road Home that is a big fan and quotes him often. I tried to nice my way and share my way into a good marriage. My gut was screaming at me, that it wasn't good for a long time and I just kept doubling down. I married a person from a deeply broken family. People who drank themselves to death. People that were vehemently racist. People who committed suicide by cop. She's a bit of a miracle as compared to what she could've been. Abandoned…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 05:47 AM
1

Thanks bud! Very kind of you!
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 05:40 AM
9

I'm so glad to be divorcing. I don't know what to say. But every day I wake up my stomach hurts and my first few thoughts are that there's something wrong with me. Something broken. I let this person grind me down. I'll let this person tell me I was nothing. I'll let this person infer that I was a fucking monster. I kept treating this person like she was my boss. Like she was my master. Like she was in control. I kept trying to make her happy. I kept trying to be enough. I'm reading codependent …
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 05:15 AM
5

Thank you very much. I'll look into that. We have not spoken in nine months. Nine glorious months. One of her friends called me drunk and asked me if i liked young girls.... I was filled with murderous thoughts and raging fear for a week. I didn't leave the house for three days. I have rented way to much of my soul to this person.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 05:06 AM
1

And ....you're also right about that
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 04:49 AM
2

Thank you for your help and your response. I went to Sacramento for a wedding this year. It's an amazing place. Hot boys chicken sandwiches are incredible!
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 04:44 AM
2

Thank you, sir. I have an attorney. Court date set for six months from now. It's gonna suck.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 04:43 AM
5

I hope you're OK. That sounds incredibly fucked up. I guess people who have been through a divorce just discount the insanity that gets said about them. Are you OK?
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 04:42 AM
3

Thanks man!
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 04:42 AM
5

Agreed. I've been out of the house for working on 17 months now and quite frankly a lot of this is only gotten worse. My sleep hours are off. My work is off. The first six months I was out of the house I saw sex workers for the first time in my life. Being touched by a person who was not actively hating me was wonderful. Now that all seems like a blur, but I know it happened. I've never been to a trauma therapist before, but a lot of people have told me it's where I'm supposed to go now. Feels o…
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/25 04:31 AM
1

Understood. I hope you're OK buddy. I hope you have help and support.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 04:06 AM
1

Thank you for the answer!
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 03:50 AM
1

Great answer!
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 03:50 AM
1

Thank you for sharing. What does prepare for war mean to you? I have a lawyer. I have a place to live. I expect to lose my dignity in the public eye. Some of my prize possessions. And a lot of the equity that I put in the house. I feel like my expectations are reasonable. At this point, I would just like to not have to see The young lady I helped raise be pulled into it by being made to lie or accuse me alongside my wife. I will let the lawyer do the fighting and I will try to keep my calm.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 02:29 AM
2

Thank you for sharing. I feel like the world is going to discount all of this craziness far better than I thought now.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 02:29 AM
4

I've been caretaking my mother for the last 18 months. She's wonderful company and we benefit from each other. I completely crashed out of my marriage. Found myself with a vibrating body of anxious energy. Walked on eggshells. Did the math. Thousands of hours of drunken rage from my wife. Sometimes when she was smoking weed or working on her fourth glass of wine, she would look at me and I knew I was in for it. I acted like a complete frozen rabbit. Stood there and internalized it for thousands …
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 02:29 AM
2

I'm talking to myself all throughout this post.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 02:09 AM
5

Don't kill yourself. Most people, with a brain, discount anything said during a divorce. You are going to lose some people. Wish them well. Exercise. Stay sober. Talk to friends you love and trust every day. If you don't have a therapist to get one. Preferably a good one. Preferably a guy. Get the most expensive lawyer that you can. If she is raging in ways that make no sense, there's a fair chance She's guilty about something that she's done and has never felt like this before, and doesn't know…
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 02:08 AM
2

She's living in the house I put $185,000 down on. she's raising her half sister's daughter there. She has my guns and my gun safe and my air rifles there. There's $240,000 of equity in the house now. The deal I put forward was for me to keep my inheritance account and my roth. For her to keep her retirement and her Roth and her savings. And for us to split the equity in the house. I let her break me. She threatened to kill me. I acted like a helpless person and I eventually left the property. Wh…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 12:49 AM
3

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 09:22 PM
1

What state is that?
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 05:20 AM
1

Thanks for your responses.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 05:20 AM
2

Thanks for the laugh!
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/25 12:52 AM
5

I'm just now learning to be angry. And like you, I know giving a person any more energy after you're gone is not a good use of time. You're free. You wake up without her. You don't have to do life with her anymore. You don't have to make her a cup of coffee. You don't have to contend with her on family vacation. You don't have to wonder about who she is and what she's doing. Your victory is to wake up without her. You live in your victory every day, buddy.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 05:13 AM
7

You're not gonna be able to trust your feelings. Get the best lawyer you can. Listen to their council. Continue therapy for you and your children if possible. Don't have sex with anyone for a year if you can help it. Go to the gym. Get lots of sleep. Eat healthy. I know your story sounds crazy, but quite frankly it's a lot better than my story. And I've heard a lot of other stories worse than mine. I don't think anyone really has the time or energy to give you more than their hope and love. Her …
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/25 12:01 AM
2

Agreed. Today is far more well spent than the previous 15 years. It took 15 years to know that. My new happiness is abiding. It's with me every day. It's the absence of fear and misery. It's the knowledge that I wasn't caretaking a wounded person… I was being abused by a Cunt. I thought I was helping, even as I was being screamed at and hit and manipulated, I thought I was helping. That's crazy. But knowing that it was just my time spent being vulnerable to a manipulative Cunt.... and now that t…
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 05:49 PM
1

Our lives can be spent in desperate misery. Its ok to leave. Make good friends. Eat and sleep healthy. Protect our time from miserable manipulation.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 05:03 PM
2

I'm halfway through life in any sort of plan that requires another person to change is off the table for me now. It's OK to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 07:16 PM
1

If you can record it record it. No one would ever believe it. Thousands and thousands of hours of being ping-ponged in between carrot and stick. I let it happen. I made my wife a bit of a God. That's on me. Not waking up with the fear of what today will bring is my victory. I am grateful. It's OK to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/25 07:15 PM
4

Psychiatrist. Medicine. Walking with good people. Mens group attendance. Take it easy. You can surprise yourself with some slow and steady improvement. One hour at a time. You can do it. 12 steps can help. Al-anon,Tony Robbins. The bible. C.S. Lewis One step at a time.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 12:26 AM
17

After five years of pretty intense, verbal and physical abuse, I felt like there was a bell over my head being rung every day when I stepped into my own home. I hated myself for staying as long as I did. I hated my wife for who she became after the third glass of wine. I hated myself for saying yes to buying a big house together. I hated myself for saying yes we can try to raise your half sister's daughter together. I hated myself for letting her treat me like dirt. I hated myself for believing …
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 04:39 AM
2

Thank you very much
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 04:21 AM
1

Thank you very much.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 04:20 AM
1

Thank you for sharing.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 04:20 AM
1

Many thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 04:20 AM
-4

I'm so happy for you both. Self discovery is a part of life. Even in loving and passionate marriages, terrible things happen. If you have been kind to one another for years there is nothing wasted... thinking about our lives as sub optimal situations is not the way. If you are amicably divorcing, I think that means you have been good to each other. Good job being honest with yourself. Good job being honest with her. Both of your lives just took a tremendous upgrade. I know many people who have b…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/24 04:03 AM
2

Thanks. Closer to it now than I have been.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 01:58 AM
2

Thanks. I'm in therapy. I'll read the book. Nice name. I appreciate you taking the time to read.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 01:09 AM
1

This was intended as a reply to the second comment.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 01:08 AM
1

I'm in therapy. I'm also attending a support group for sex addicts. I didnt think I was one for a very long time, but the group itself has been useful so I continue go. And there definitely an overlap between me and them. Mainly living a shame based life..
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 01:07 AM
2

I will. Thank you. I appreciate you sharing. Nice name as well.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/24 01:01 AM
3

You are going to be ok bud. Be kind to yourself. I hope you can find a good councilor and good community. Do all that you can to let your rage out with safe people. Keep your kids away from it. This may settle out in ways you cannot imagine. The world will have grace for you all. Keep it simple and don't compound the situation with angry decisions. There is love for you. And understanding! You will be ok.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 05:40 PM
3

They yell and hit. We take it. It twists our insides and diminishes our spirit. I understand. I let this happen. Im in therapy too. Learning boundaries. Love you bud. You are going to be ok.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/24 03:44 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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