| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 21 | Advice on LTR's flirting with a guy on the side. Confronted, eventually stopped, mostly....next move? | PM_your_boobs_names | /r/askTRP | 10/03/16 02:20 AM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Is anyone here contemplating taking a steroid cycle?Did you use any medical supervision, or some sort of guidance from someone experienced with these substances, or internet guides, or nothing? Would you do anything differently if you were doing it again? | /r/askTRP | 15/03/16 01:32 AM |
| 1 | Advice on LTR's flirting with a guy on the side. Confronted, eventually stopped, mostly....next move?Doubt it. I'm better than him, and I've seen texts where she's brushing off his advances. Mind you, it deliberately wasn't enough of a brush-off to discourage him further attempts though. So my conclusion is that she likes the attention, flattery, and validation, didn't want to fuck him, but didn't want to lose the narcissistic supply. And she was over-invested enough that she started piling on lies to cover it up. I'm alert to the real possibility that I'm mistaken, but the evidence and my gut … | /r/askTRP | 11/03/16 05:48 AM |
| 1 | Advice on LTR's flirting with a guy on the side. Confronted, eventually stopped, mostly....next move?Thank you, that's certainly what the last couple of months have been like for me, and it's not fun, though we still have fun face-to-face. I don't know that she resents me though - I played the "stop talking to him" pretty well. Didn't make it a demand, just explained that it crossed my boundaries and that although it's impossible to enforce, a trustworthy partner would abide those boundaries. So she's disappointed that she lost her toy, but she doesn't seem to think I'm being a controlling demo… | /r/askTRP | 11/03/16 01:56 AM |
| 1 | Advice on LTR's flirting with a guy on the side. Confronted, eventually stopped, mostly....next move?ONEITIS Nah. Though I've always been the less invested one in this, I was comfortable, have sunk costs, and recognize that this had been pretty good. I'm reluctant to toss it over a harmless orbiter, but willing to toss it over lies and disrespect. I've got time to figure out the right play though. Yeah, maybe that's hamstering; but no oneitis here I'm afraid. | /r/askTRP | 11/03/16 01:49 AM |
| 1 | Advice on LTR's flirting with a guy on the side. Confronted, eventually stopped, mostly....next move?I thank you for your blunt assessment. Tough to argue, except for this: "I know what you did and are still doing..." This sounds like I'm giving up my sources, which seems like a bad strategy unless I'm going full on scorched-earth. That seems unwise, because it eliminates certain options: A ) she crawls back and I decide the lesson has been learned, B ) we continue as occasional FWB while we pursue other things, C ) we're done but she's still a useful in for a young crowd. A big blowup might be… | /r/askTRP | 11/03/16 01:43 AM |
| 2 | Advice on LTR's flirting with a guy on the side. Confronted, eventually stopped, mostly....next move?Given my information and my hunches, I honestly don't think she fucked this guy. But even without that, the other points are sufficient for a breakup, and also sufficient for suspicion that she would pull the same shit with a guy on the side whom she DOES want to fuck. | /r/askTRP | 11/03/16 01:32 AM |
| 2 | Advice on LTR's flirting with a guy on the side. Confronted, eventually stopped, mostly....next move?Thank you, this is pretty much exactly what I did in January. Though she wasn't as apologetic or honest as she should have been, she seemed to get her shit in order and get re-invested. But now there's some backsliding. I agree that boundaries must be firm. If that's a lost cause and can't be corrected, I'll have to move on in some manner, whether demotion or breakup. | /r/askTRP | 11/03/16 01:28 AM |
| 2 | Advice on LTR's flirting with a guy on the side. Confronted, eventually stopped, mostly....next move?Eh, I'm going to disagree with the second half of this. By virtue of having a LTR that you like, investment is inevitable; otherwise why bother? If you truly don't give a fuck whether it folds or not, then why be there in the first place? But yes, if it falls apart like this I'll be disappointed but I won't need to throw a pity party or anything. I'll just catch some new spring tail. | /r/askTRP | 10/03/16 07:06 AM |
| 1 | Advice on LTR's flirting with a guy on the side. Confronted, eventually stopped, mostly....next move?But if she's the type to be insecure about her image, she might nuke what you guys had left in order to save her own ego (validating a clean branch-swing to the other guy since you'd be the "asshole that doesn't love her"). That would be my expectation, except I'm not so sure she'd actually go for this other guy. My hunch is he's more of an orbiter she was stringing along. So, would you describe what an overt LTR downgrade might look like? "Hey XXXXXX this is bullshit, so I'm going to start fuck… | /r/askTRP | 10/03/16 06:59 AM |
| 2 | Advice on LTR's flirting with a guy on the side. Confronted, eventually stopped, mostly....next move?Thanks for the response. Overtly or covertly downgrade? If overtly, what would be an optimal approach? In my experience, LTRs don't downgrade, they end. | /r/askTRP | 10/03/16 05:21 AM |
| 3 | Advice on LTR's flirting with a guy on the side. Confronted, eventually stopped, mostly....next move?Your evaluation is absolutely accurate to what I wrote. But IRL I haven't moved on yet. So I think I actually am conflicted. Another part of it is that I don't actually believe this other dude was a viable threat to me, just that she was acting very, very shitty. And I think that in some ways, this could be patched up. Don't particularly trust her right now though, and don't know how that could get patched... | /r/askTRP | 10/03/16 05:20 AM |
| 4 | Advice on LTR's flirting with a guy on the side. Confronted, eventually stopped, mostly....next move?Thanks for the response. Overtly or covertly downgrade? If overtly, what would be an optimal approach? In my experience, LTRs don't downgrade, they end. | /r/askTRP | 10/03/16 04:37 AM |
| 3 | Advice on LTR's flirting with a guy on the side. Confronted, eventually stopped, mostly....next move?I like her a lot. I've been around enough to know we've got sufficient connection to value. I've also been around enough to be a bit jaded. If it's time to let go, I'll do it and immediately go on the prowl - that's preferable to being jerked around in the future (IF that's what I expect). But I'd be pretty disappointed to see it end. | /r/askTRP | 10/03/16 04:35 AM |
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