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P_Galley Archive

View 2 posts and 63 comments by P_Galley on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
45

P_Galley/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 08:12 PM
5

P_Galley/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 12:32 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Yes. If you know you just want some companionship and sex it's fine. No cohabitating, no co-mingling accounts etc. Just live your life and rotate through them. Maybe I will get lucky and find a real gem , secure and authentic. Will see
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/25 10:15 PM
3

Married a DA and as an anxious type myself it was a mess. The push/pull dynamic. Unbelievable attraction at the beginning. Daily sex, several calls a day etc. Then the first signs of the DA pop up and you ignore it because A) you are young and stupid B) daily sex But it's there, lurking. You get past all this and now you are married. Kids, life and settling in. The last 10 years were completely devoid of emotional intimacy. Dead bedroom and just functional roommates. It triggered my anxious styl…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/25 01:45 AM
2

Read my post above. I got all the groceries from Walmart delivered to the house, hired a cleaning lady, did more than half the domestic load, arranged family and friends to visit and help out while I travelled to work. I did it all to lessen the burden. Nothing worked. I still got the dead bedroom, resentment etc.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 02:22 PM
5

I unfortunately tolerated a lot. Some of which you mention but also a dead bread room for years. I was a nice guy. Always made her needs the priority, accepted outcomes and decisions I didn't want. Never advocating for my own needs. I had a moving boundary. Externally to the world I was a strong man, an executive in a large company with many reports, commanding in every way. At home I was a weakling that tolerated bad behavior. Infidelity was the line that wouldn't budge. Read No Mr.Nice Guy and…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 12:36 AM
2

Heck of a post. Spot on and well written.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 07:35 PM
3

I don't know what switch has to happen for you but in my own journey I did everything I could to restore the marriage. Too little too late. The switch for me was her getaway by herself which in fact was a getaway with a married man for a week. Just visualize that day in and day out. Might trigger your switch and just want to move on with letting her go. I was married 23 and together 30 so an entire lifetime.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 11:15 AM
6

This is No More Mr Nice Guy in action. Well done. But after enduring many years of a sexless marriage, never cheated, double, triple, quadruple down on the same ineffective tactics i finally matched her apathy. It didn't make our relationship stronger but made me realize I was holding onto a bad marriage because it's all I had.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 04:27 PM
2

Dec 2022 family vacation. Sitting at breakfast and the family is chatting and laughing. Wife is scrolling photos of a guy. My teenage son and I are both who is that ..show me the pic etc. Of course she didn't. She had been acting distant and combative for months. Got home and same thing her Apple ID was connected to our laptop. Open the messaging app and the rest is history. 2.5 years of false hope, useless couples counselling, reading blogs and books. She was gone. All through false hope of rec…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/25 10:46 PM
1

I guess there is more than one way for us to get to this sub. I will break it down. If you have a 100 and she wants to spend 200 but you say nope we can only spend 95. I look at this differently but that's because I am a rational man. To her it was controlling. Anyways I am in this sub nevertheless. Shame
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 06:22 PM
1

All of this is in No more Nice Guy. Read it. But I am a social human being. I might have to try individual therapy again. My STBX called me controlling. Our set up was the same. Except she made the suggestions for anything; vacations, appliances, custom home layout.. whatever. I only stopped , pause and ensure we could afford it. She called this controlling as I had the final say.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 04:47 PM
2

These rotten bitches. Did it to me too . Married red pill and no more Mr nice guy are required reading. I am barely a week ahead of you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 05:34 PM
12

It pains me to say this but it sounds like my situation and I confirmed the cheating. My wife went through the exact same thing with me. I am actually living it now as she got back last week. Silence in the house. No pictures to share with us from her trip, no luggage tag, no receipts in her wallet. I found a ticket confirmation to an entirely different state. The lies that are spun to hide the cheating is next level. I have my lawyer consult part 2 next week. After that I will determine my next…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 07:44 PM
2

You got your sense about you. Can I DM you requesting your opinion?
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 04:53 PM
3

We were together for 25 years. I know she cheated and it's not easy. My persona is strength and confidence. Top executive, excellent career, many people report to me etc. But with this situation I am aloof, indecisive and fearful. Logically I know it's over. My heart can't let go of the life we had and how I loved her. It's not easy at least not for me. I am a mess. I have one super close friend who knows everything and suggested I keep going knowing it's over but using the logical brain to unde…
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 12:32 PM
12

No one is trying to upset you. I got the same damn lines. Made me look and surprise... Found out she was cheating. It's highly likely she is. Or at least has an eye on someone she wants to engage with. It's crushing and still reeling in many ways. I am in purgatory with her. Neither has filed , neither has left the home and we function as a married couple but we are broken. I tried everything for two years. Nothing works when they lose the feelings. It's over. Our current arrangement is function…
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/25 09:04 PM
1

Get a lawyer. Child support is non negotiable. It's not for her it's for the child. Don't sign anything and speak with a lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 02:04 AM
4

You are saying the right things except there is never a reason to cheat. Never. Not happy? Leave . End it .
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/25 12:19 AM
4

I posted this earlier but talk about mind fuck I am in the twilight light zone of ultimate mind fucks. I was told no chance of reconciliation but let's live together for the next few years until we put our youngest into University. The oldest would be done Uni, the second more than halfway through. We act as a family. Costco runs, restaurants, discuss home renos, family vacation to the beach but no emotional connection and definitely no physical even though we sleep in the same bed. Claims she i…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 04:17 PM
3

Google Husband Haven and subscribe to their links. Free. It will help navigate the process and what behaviors might mean. One take away. Control only what you can, which is yourself. You cant cry, scream or tell a storm to stop so just do what you can to protect yourself. Crying and begging gives the ick to women so stop it. Show your strength. "If that's your decision so be it .." be like that. No gifts. No begging. No crying . Stoic and tell her you hope we can find a path to reconcile but in …
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 09:28 PM
1

That's me too. We go anywhere and find a way to put a wedge between us. She moved out of the room a year back and asked for the room back to recover for surgery. "Just a little while...". A few weeks turned into a few months and I found myself doing the bedroom shuffle; son at Uni room, basement, family room couch. I was not having it. Son returns from school and I just went to my room and have been going there ever since. She stopped asking me to leave and I stopped the rebuttal you can leave i…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 09:22 PM
1

If you are on tik tok look up Coach Ryan and just watch a few videos describing the brutal nature of dismissive avoidants. I had no idea what I was dealing with. Not narcissist just self sabotaging disconnect. When you start understanding there limitations the puzzle pieces come together. They have to recognize their state and want to fix it. But admitting they have a problem is rare. The coldness of the discard is real. I am living it now, just cohabitating. The only thing you can do is disconn…
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/25 06:18 PM
2

Classic dismissive avoidant. I have one too. Shame we connected with these types of people.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/25 04:56 PM
2

Yes could be a fearful Avoidant. I have been reading and discussing with therapists about this as I navigate my own rabbit hole. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 03:39 AM
3

Dismissive avoidant? Ask the therapist how she navigates her attachment style.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 09:44 PM
9

Move in together, have kids and 20 years later she is bored and decides to leave, the outcome is the same.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/25 12:12 PM
2

The spouse that cheats , wants the marriage to be over then they should go. We are living as roommates but are bickering about who leaves the room. That's my room, my bed for the past 20years. If you want out go live in the basement and figure your life out.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/25 02:35 AM
1

It's $450. 30 min free meeting is not enough and I am not handing over $5k for a retainer. Neither of us have filed and it's just status quo. I want two hours to address all my questions and understand the possible outcomes. My friend spent over $200k on very highly conflict divorce. I don't want any of that.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/25 12:11 AM
1

I have spoken to several and settled in one one. None , even the SR attorney was $700. Yikes. I am not giving a retainer. I am hiring for 2 hrs to understand the likely outcomes.There is such a disparity in our incomes and that needs planning. Let me know what's happening Also in ON
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/24 07:13 PM
18

Listen mate I was a provider, strong supporter, present in the children's life, helped with groceries, helped with house duties, Mr fix it all and still went out and climbed the corporate ladder. Created a beautiful life together. Don't drink except socially , don't smoke, do drugs, gamble, addicted to porn or video games. And I never cheated. Yet still I can still get discarded. The pain is real. Connect with guys who know the pain. They DONT get annoyed. Go out , make friends, connect with old…
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 04:55 AM
1

If you are both named on the deed and the mortgage I don't know any bank that would extend a HELOC without consent of both parties. Even increasing your credit limit , both parties are involved in the discussion. Maybe it's just an unsecured line of credit. My one day on one day off wife set up her own credit card and LOC which I don't see and wasn't aware of.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 03:29 PM
3

My friend owned a trucking logistics company. She went after him for all of it. He signed over the entire business then quit. She didn't understand he was the business. Not the name , the leases , the office. He quit. Started up again and thriving. All his long term clients soon joined him. You might need to give it a nudge, but karma is a bitch when it gets going.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/24 01:08 AM
2

I totally agree. But they want the kids, the support, the house and the retirement funds. Don't forget the cake and eat it too. What a mess. I told my wife the same thing. No bars on the windows. This is not a jail. If you are not happy and want out then off you go. No one is stopping you. It's the enormous resources I provide that keeps her attached while she branches .
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 07:30 PM
1

Why did you leave. Why do you have to buy new stuff. My STBX wants to keep us in limbo. I said it in a previous post; too good to leave too bad to stay. We are acting married, decorating the house, planning winter vacation, taking kid to visit Universities. But no emotional connection and no intimacy. I don't know your back story but she drops the bomb and you were like I am outta here. I respect your no nonsense approach. I don't know what I am doing.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 01:26 PM
5

I took up golf and got 40 rounds this year. To each their own.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 08:48 PM
1

Use your visa. It's not her money its both your money and you should be able to use joint funds. I read here all the time wayward wives emptying bank accounts, racking up bills. Do the same.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 03:54 PM
1

Yes kids are watching. We don't openly argue. If we discuss "us" we go for a walk with the dogs. Couple of weeks back the family hit the apple orchard and pumpkin patch. Then wrapped it up and had a great night out for dinner. We were laughing, each of us told stories, looked at the pictures we took etc. If you were in the next booth over at the restaurant you wouldn't suspect a thing. Would see a traditional family having an outing together. This is what my kids see. Breaking our family makes i…
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 04:45 PM
2

I read a comment in another post to embrace the red pill and start the dread. ?? When out with the wife openly smile and flirt with other women. Let her see you etc. Might get jealously activated.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/24 04:33 PM
3

My session with the lawyer is all about the finances. Everything will be assessed for optimum outcome
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 11:05 PM
3

Yes agreed. Now it's business decision. Said this in another comment. When they lose attraction it's over.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 11:39 AM
3

I am making the effort. Discovery was 2 years ago. Hit the gym immediately. Loss 40lbs of fat added muscle. Updated clothes. New M bimmer in the driveway. Reconnected with all my past friends. Boys travel golf trips, sporting events. Cottage getaways Etc. It's a glimpse of just living your life. I buried the sulking cry baby and just admitted to myself it is what it is. I am trying to make a business decision now.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 02:18 AM
1

Lawyer said child support would end at 18 when they go off to university. spousal support will be well into your retirement years. I presume University would be 50/50 if there is a massive income rebalance because of the SS. If I go now the cost will be higher because of CS added to the SS. She is actually pushing that narrative. Live amicably save the money.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 02:11 AM
1

When I mean income disparity it's in the hundreds of thousands. So wrecking this financial set up hurts. The idea of forever SS also hurts. I couldn't fathom an open relationship or her openly dating. So pay and stay and maybe we reconnect or pay forever and go.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 01:35 AM
1

I am already there with our age (late 40s)+ duration of marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 12:41 AM
8

Riddle me this fellas. (Actually I know the answer). How about "I don't love you that way anymore. I am comfortable with you and it's a great life but my attraction is gone"...then later I get "hey I was thinking about these renovations to the dining room" (sends tik tok). "Hey should we talk about booking our winter vacation what about this resort?" (Sends link) What in the actual fuck just happened. Did the matrix just glitch ? OP let me tell you plainly. It's not believe what she says it's be…
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/24 05:14 AM
1

I pray for this outcome every day. We have 20years+ together, 3 beautiful kids,all healthy, a squeeky clean financial set up. 2 dogs , beautiful big home, boats, winter /summer vacations, retirement funds, school funds. . From afar we look like a model family. What a shame to flush it down. I commend you for your own commitment to show up.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 11:23 PM
1

I am in it right now. So I know the gutted feelings. Had I ripped the bandaid off 2 years ago , I might have been free and clear right now, on the mend but here I am. Gutted again, the affair continues and even still part of me wishes she wakes up from her fog and begs forgiveness, shows true remorse etc. Its an awful way to live. Pray for wisdom to make the right decision and strength to see it through.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 08:05 PM
4

Almost 2 years after the discovery here and I tried everything to mend. Learnt her attachment style and catered to her emotional needs; started to focus on her functions and not just helped out around the house, I started to carry some of the mental load myself; went to therapy, did the homework and read the books. I hit the gym, gained muscle, loss 50lbs of fat. Anticipated her needs rather than react to requests and amazed myself on what I was doing. Goal posts always moved. Did everything I c…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 04:14 AM
6

His story was mine until I discovered the monkey branch. Then all the sparks and find myself bullshit was just bullshit. Now imagine 23 years not 7. Just a shitty no win situation.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 01:49 AM
2

Day by day the strings of connections slowly severed; she moved out of the master room, stopped making family dinners, stopped doing my laundry (even though she is sahm), stopped texting/calling unless we were discussing kids, then finally stopped wearing her rings. I questioned her why she stopped and would put them back on then take them right off again. Her actions coupled with an affair made it clear no reconciliation was possible. That's when I took off my ring. Now I live in a state of lim…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 02:07 PM
6

Have you watched any videos on being a dismissive avoidant?
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/24 02:22 PM
3

I was at your crossroads and know it's tough. If I saw any chance to reconnect I would have taken even just to protect our setup. I would rather be quietly discontent than becoming an indentured slave for my wandering SAHM. I have a few friends who were financially gutted by liberal, feminist loving, "you must be the reason for their cheating" scoundrel judges. That's the stormy waters I have to navigate now.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 09:52 PM
21

I am 18 months out from the discovery of her affair. I can attest wholeheartedly trying the reconcile path for me was a waste of time. We tried counselling, I read volumes of articles , books all about how to reattract, reconnect but to no avail. She never let go of the AP and just got better hiding. But she tripped up and what a shocker i discovered again she is still carrying on like a teenage girl lost. We haven't spoken in about a week. She moved out of our room and into the basement spare. …
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 07:35 PM
3

I am not saying public stoning in the town square but if you want to stray and leave then leave. Income disparity is your issue not the state's. Actions should have consequences. Screw up your comfy life..well that's on you. State should only be there for the paper work.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 09:38 PM
17

You know marriage is already a contract. You have to get a marriage licence and pay a fee, make vows and bind. But when they stray you can't sue for breach of contract. Rather, they can break the contract and then get granted compensation for their actions. This part is so unjust i simply can't comprehend.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/24 09:37 PM
10

The post hit hard and true and could be writing about my life right now. I run the range of emotions from I don't care anymore to a sobbering simp ( in private). I have shared every gory detail with two very close friends who have gone through the same thing. We cried , laughed , strategized but the number one thing they said was fight till the end. Their kids are cracked, both took huge financial hits and other than some flings and dates I can tell they both still pine for a life lost. Its hear…
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 05:48 PM
1

The motivation should be self evident. Discipline to go every day is what you need to develop. I have lost 30lbs , while gaining 12lbs lean mass this past year. We haven't officially separated but I am just doing my thing. Gym, focus on work and golf. My wife knows I am a good loyal boy. But it doesn't hurt looking strong again.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 05:55 PM
7

My wife cancelled a girl friend who betrayed her husband, abandoned her kids and followed some douche bag across the country. She comforted her friend's young daughter and chastised the mom. 6 years later the wayward friend comes back. My life falls apart. Wife engaged in an emotional affair with a man in another country. The wayward bitch of a friend who tore down her life, lost any meaningful connections to her daughters and lives in some dumpy apartment across the country still preaches you h…
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 03:20 AM
5

It's difficult and I am going through the pain of it too. I discovered some inappropriate discussions with another man and gave her an option. Drop it all and work with me to rehabilitate our relationship or we both seek out a lawyer. She chose to try and rehabilitate. It was pointless. She didn't do anything to match my spirit to rehabilitate. Therapy although good for me was useless for her. She didn't do the homework but just showed up. Therapist said might have to come to grips this is over.…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 03:27 PM
6

Blows my mind too. Zero prenup, that never would have entered our minds. Married at 28 making my way in the world. Nothing to protect. A tik tok algorithm that preaches the grass is greener. Go find your happiness-the world is yours. Bla blah blah. Interesting fun fact, wife banned one of her friends when she cheated and burnt her life down. Abandoned the husband and her two young daughters. She moved out and crossed the country following this douche bag. My wife was adamant how bad this was, su…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 12:19 AM
5

Going out now pretty consistently. Lots of guys weekends this past summer. Cottage getaways for golf, fish and poker tournaments etc. Even booked a winter getaway to Tampa for a week of golf with my dudes. Only my closest buddies know what's going on and do an excellent job distracting me into other activities
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 02:18 AM
3

This made me smile. You can do it. Effort and will power and sprinkle in intelligence and cunning.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 02:14 AM
10

So I am in limbo right. 11 months of just existing and living. Household is normal, we watch big brother, go to Costco , plan this year's vacation and hit up restaurants we discover. But I can't help but feel the lights are not on for her. Just going through the motions. Feel an underlying resentment like I took something away. Had the conversation last month. Where i layout I have done all i can to reconnect. Either find it in you to come back or just leave peacefully. I told her i would even h…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 02:11 AM
3

Like pendulum back and forth I go. Work on it ..no no no boot her.. work on it , boot her. Interesting strategy
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 01:59 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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