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Particular-Pie23 Archive

View 1 posts and 41 comments by Particular-Pie23 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
24

Particular-Pie23/r/Divorce_Men30/10/22 06:45 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Oh, also, PLEASE send all documentation to any trusted friend or family who has witnessed her behavior. Get them to testify and write letters on your behalf on the behavior they’ve witnessed. You CANNOT go into this alone. I could bet a million bucks that your wife is charismatic as they come and can make nearly anybody believe that you’re crazy and she’s just wonderful. She can get anyone to believe anything about you unless you have proof to show in court that it’s not true.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/22 05:26 PM
1

She’s a dangerous person emotionally to anyone who comes into contact with her. Please get any documentation possible to maintain a paper trail of her behavior. When you file, ask the court to mandate parenting classes (which likely still won’t help), a psychological evaluation by a court appointed person (which she may be masterful at manipulating if she chooses who she sees herself), and ask for full custody with her having supervised visitation only until a later date when it’s proven that sh…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/22 05:20 PM
3

Don’t blame yourself for enabling her. Shame will get you nowhere. Just go get some therapy and discover why you have poor boundaries and how you can improve them and get ready to leave. Emotional and verbal abuse takes its toll slowly over time. It’s clear that you’re at the internalization phase and her words have cut deep enough to get you to start believing her vitriol as fact. I experienced this from my exH and it took years of that verbal abuse to feel worthless. Men tie a lot of their val…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/22 04:09 PM
-2

Nobody said shit about gender neutral anything, first of all. The median income in CA is about $34k so MOST the time in a divorce, there’s no spousal support if the other spouse/parent can work.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/22 12:06 AM
-4

Most the time in CA, they don’t dish out spousal support if your spouse can work.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/22 07:56 AM
2

Hobbies are WONDERFUL but if a hobby replaces connection with your spouse, it’s no longer a hobby. From his post it sounds like her needs (which are not YOUR needs- which is why I’m objective to his wife’s needs here) for his time are benign unmet so she’s shut down sexually and beyond frustrated emotionally.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 04:02 PM
2

Do you think you can compromise and decide to clean up around the house (general clutter, dishes you may have used, laundry in the wash, etc) before gaming? You might find it puts you more at ease because it’s done first, and she’ll feel loved. Choose to cut back on the gaming by an hour or two each session. Set a time limit. It sounds like her secondary love language is quality time and she’s exasperated with not getting that and likely doesn’t know how to ask directly for it. After a few weeks…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 04:01 PM
2

I agree! I think it’s a management thing. If you’re spending all your free time on a screen time to the point that your partner feels they have to scream to get your attention, it’s a huuuuge problem. Nothing in the world is supposed to replace your partner. That’s the immaturity that comes with some married men thinking all their spare time is just for them and their wife’s presence is just an annoyance. That’s where dead bedrooms are often born and marriages die. OP is 42 and doesn’t mention a…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 03:47 PM
5

He’s treating her with contempt by not deciding to compromise with her either. He could cut the game by an hour or two. He could take her on a date when they’re off work. He could clean a bit then play games. She may need some downtime in her own way after working overtime without hearing video games for hours when she gets home and getting no attention. Seriously. That would more than likely respark the dead bedroom. That and if she communicated her need- time with him and not being the only pe…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 05:11 AM
1

I was the woman in a situation like that. When you make nearly zero time for a woman, everything feels like a threat. If you won’t give up one thing, then all the things become a problem. Sounds like you were gone 70-90 hrs a week and at least 30 of those were spent in hobbies… without her. So she likely got the tired, need downtime version of you. If my ex had “caved” into giving me his time when I felt heartbroken that he gave his time to anything and everything except me, I would have been ov…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 05:03 AM
-2

What’s the deal with video games? It’s like you guys are married to the idea of being children forever and the actual human being you’re neglecting for your friends that you promised yourself to is your enemy. You don’t feel accepted because women mature and expect men to grow out of childish things. You’re married to a screen and your friends, not your spouse in that case.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 04:55 AM
1

I think you’re missing the underlying problem. She has no idea how to ask for what she wants directly, which is more than likely your time. She doesn’t hate you or she wouldn’t bicker with you. She works overtime and you work long hours. She’s probably stressed and wants more 1-1 time with you. Her love language is likely quality time and yours is likely acts of service. You feel that your work is enough and it doesn’t speak to her. She’s probably, in her mind, begging for your time so she doesn…
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/22 04:53 AM
3

It means you’re feeling a full range of emotions in a healthy manner. It’ll likely settle down after a little while so let it happen. Your kid needs to see that love wells up in dad’s heart and leaks out of his face sometimes
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 05:29 AM
1

More to “test” than to “question”. Women test men in order to maintain that his hierarchy is still in place. Doesn’t work well with our emotional ability as humans vs a pack of wild mammals.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 03:18 PM
1

Have you ever considered that he’s cheating on you with another woman?
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 02:43 PM
2

Stop hoping to salvage it. That’s the goal post that will keep being moved and before you know it, another 10 years come and go and you’re still telling yourself the same things.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 01:13 PM
1

If you don’t fight the custody it’s nearly impossible to try to get it back.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 01:26 AM
2

He can file for a petition of paternity and ask for all garnishments to be stopped until the results are in. Once the results come in, he’ll need to file a civil case against her if it’s under $10k. She will very unlikely be charged with fraud because they can’t prove he wasn’t sleeping with her while with her boyfriend unless he has alibis otherwise and wants to report her for fraud.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 10:47 PM
2

Absolutely! You are her foundation and rock. It’s your duty as a man to love and protect your little girl so she grows up confident, happy, and secure in herself. No amount of money or extended family can buy or replace that.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 02:14 AM
2

You’re welcome. I know it’s easy as a father to not feel good enough if there’s a higher financial situation readily available. No one can buy you out of her need of your presence and love. You can always make more money. Is it not possible to have custody in summer and on school breaks? Can you move there or visit often? If she’s going to be so financially set up there, why would she need child support vs staying and using the child support to be more stable in CA? I know it’s expensive but it’…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 02:39 PM
2

Courts don’t just favor both parents being present. Don’t let the idea of financial stability elsewhere fool you into thinking that it could replace your presence or make her better off. Fight for your kid. I promise you that it will harm her terribly if you don’t, regardless of your financial state. Finances change. A child’s need for her father never ever will. Little girls without dads suffer in so many ways.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 02:22 PM
1

Don’t tell a soul. If you’re famous, then someone will dig out the court records and blast it anyway. If you make the court documents private, I’m sure it’ll still come out somehow anyway. Mind your business and let them talk.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 01:42 AM
1

That’s not the case. She’s talking about leaving out of state and taking the children.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/22 02:28 AM
1

No. That’s not how that works.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/22 11:33 PM
8

Get with an attorney NOW. File and ask for an ex parte hearing to stop her from removing your children from the state.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/22 07:12 PM
3

Your story is shit. You got so upset that your ex moved on that you quit being a parent? There are men whose exes LIE and say they’re abusing their kids in more ways than one, alienate them from their children, alienate the children from healthy family members and expose them to all sorts of toxic shit. You know what REAL dads do? Fight so their kids know that they always had someone in their corner. Yes, you’re a bad person and a shitty parent. Yes, this will effect your daughter for the rest o…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/22 06:20 AM
1

Don’t do it. Your son is reaching the age of finding out who he is as a male in society. He needs you now more than ever. Bite the bullet. Make new friends. Do some hobbies with your son that makes staying there enjoyable. Find a smaller more affordable place or a side hustle. You don’t want to miss his formative years and look back only to tell him you missed it because you didn’t particularly like the town you were in. Boys whose fathers are most present are far less likely to develop depressi…
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/22 06:12 AM
1

Not if she loses custody. You’re backwards here. And if he raised the child for so long, it’s not out of the question to still want to protect them.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/22 04:53 AM
5

She sounds like she has a personality disorder that’s completely out of hand. You may be able to get custody of her daughter if she has no immediate family and continues to threaten suicide. Have her hauled off to a mental facility if possible, then proceed with divorce and attempt custody or at least visitation if her other more immediate family can take her. Get some therapy just for you. Get her daughter in therapy if possible. She’s going to need it badly.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 06:57 AM
3

Your ex is a walking red flag too. Don’t dump it all on the AP. They both suck. She just leveled into her own comfort level because she couldn’t reach your standards. It’ll take time for her to do better for herself or just settle for not having to try. She’s got someone who “loves her for who she is” DUIs and all. Eventually, she might wake up and have some expectations of him. Going from great to shit is a romantic fairytale at first, then the shit starts to stink. Just get it in the custody p…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 03:09 PM
0

Switch to nootropics and drop it. Not worth losing your kid over it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 02:35 AM
2

I think logs from a wireless provider only show that texts were exchanged, not the content of them. After they’re deleted, they’re gone, no?
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/22 02:22 PM
9

In text. That’s how you prove it in court without it being hearsay. Screenshot the texts and email them to yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/22 03:50 AM
2

Oh sorry. Thanks for the correction.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 03:21 AM
1

It really boils down to the best long term financial strategy that will help you and your STBX offer financial stability from both sides to the kids. What’s your motive?
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 05:20 PM
1

Don’t try to buy her out. The kids don’t need to lose their rooms to your new roommates and have to live with strangers part time. Let your wife keep the house in lieu of child support if she can afford the mortgage. Your kids will keep their rooms, you can afford a smaller place on your own, they won’t have to share a house with roommates, and you’ll be able to afford to help them with sports/activities etc.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 04:41 PM
1

Divorce for your own sake and do NOT by any means chase this new one. She seems shiny and great because of the contrast of the dirt and dust in your marriage now. You need to make your own life shiny, not feed yourself scraps and call it a meal just because you’re starving.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/22 02:52 PM
1

You need to be diligent in recording these things. Get her to say them in text. Walk to another room and continue the argument in text. Take screenshots. Upload them to a cloud account or an email she can’t access. Use them in court.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/22 02:32 PM
1

Sounds to me like she’s leveraging full custody to keep you with her. Threatening (even subtly) to take your child if you don’t stay is one of the most evil forms of coercion. Don’t fall for it. Flip the script and tell her the divorce continues until SHE gets at least 6 months of intensive therapy (then divorce her anyway. Make her think you’re working at least partially on her terms). In the meantime, develop a deeper relationship with your kid. One on one time, help with homework, rides to ac…
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/22 02:13 PM
1

You can go to court and petition for your dad to get custody and for his child support to be forgiven. Make a report against your mom and have her pay child support
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/22 01:22 PM
2

Just go do mediation for free or low fee through the court. They’ll help you file papers properly.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 05:17 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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