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Particular_Car7127 Archive

View 3 posts and 242 comments by Particular_Car7127 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
14

LawyersParticular_Car7127/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 02:33 PM
14

Particular_Car7127/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 01:18 PM
10

Particular_Car7127/r/Divorce_Men07/08/21 03:34 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Stop maintaining house was actually advice I got from my lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 11:18 AM
3

"She makes more money than I do".....Tell her you want full custody, alimony, and child support.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 06:29 PM
4

I wish more men would realize that they screw themselves financially and enrich the ex by sacrificing to make more!
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 02:54 PM
4

1st rule of the female nature: Accountability is kryptonite. 1st rule of the male nature: Sacrifice, Protect, and Provide. 1st rule of family court judges: The female deserves cash and prizes for bravely divorcing her husband because she's not feelin it anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 02:24 PM
1

Lawyer up my friend, and prepare for war.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 01:44 PM
3

Spending!!! She used my credit card and pawned it off as an oopsie. I grew suspicious after that and discovered the intent to file.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 02:17 PM
3

You have a much bigger issue to work on then the question you ask here. You need to break the emotional tie you have with her! You are holding yourself back from recovery of the failed marriage. You need to diassociate your being from being in a relationship with her. Reclaim the man you were as solo or seek a new relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 01:47 PM
3

Do not file for divorce while FT employed, retire now, or your current income will be included in alimony calculations. Speak with a lawyer. ASAP
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 03:26 PM
1

If you are considering a grey divorce, and have the means to retire while still married, retire immediately! You worked your ass off for 40 yrs, no reason not to enjoy the fruits of your labor. You can take SS starting at 62 to supplement your retirement assets. As always gentlemen, the ex can only take what you provide! If you slave away time for money, the money/income you provide is included in her settlement.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 11:19 AM
1

I found out my wifes plan when she started using my credit card. Needless to say I froze the card. I sold all my stocks also, not to dissipate marital assets, but to make sure all capital gains would be paid to the IRS before the divorce settled and easier to give her cash, in settlement. I also gifted my adult children money towards vehicles. I got laser eye surgery and bought her the most expensive hearing aids possible. I also planned 2 small stays at legendary golf resorts. This is after I i…
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/26 02:16 PM
2

I hope you see clearly enough to prepare an exit strategy and divorce proof your assets. You should live as though, she is still going to divorce you.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 03:51 PM
1

Start lowering your standard of living, they can only take what you provide.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/26 02:49 PM
1

The woman you marry is not the woman you divorce!
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/26 01:44 PM
1

Stop blaming yourself Get counseling Work through the grief Practice Stoism Look and plan for a new life with someone who wants what you want.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 03:59 PM
2

You lose when you "try to make it work" and there is little or no reciprocity the other partner. Again, it comes down to 50/50. If both of you are on the same page and in it to win it, great. But if all you are doing is dragging your partner along, you will get weary really fast. I am not picking on you, I am trying to warn men from making mistakes that will leave then destroyed.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 03:20 PM
2

In the end, Ex's can only take what you provide gentlemen. If she's not working and your working overtime, guess who loses? You buy her an expensive car with a payment to match, thats on you. You bought instead of renting, you again. 50% of marriages end in divorce and divorce destroys wealth, you want 50/50, then you have to keep it 50/50.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 01:38 PM
9

Divorce is one of the biggest destroyers of wealth and prosperity their is. Call me a conspiracy theorist if you want, but the breakup of marriage and family is all part of the collapse of western society. There's a reason why women vote left and men vote right. Other destroyers of wealth: College loans Car loans Credit cards Cost of living
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 01:13 PM
1

Sounds like you need listen to some divorced men with a SAHM x4 scenario, and get a gut reality check! If the reality check works, start planning how not to be totally destroyed if/when it happens. For the tine being, fix the communication problem.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 02:01 PM
3

Go bitch in another thread.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 01:58 PM
2

Talk to a lawyer and run the numbers.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/26 01:07 PM
2

If she accidently gets pregnant, do a DNA test.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/26 01:51 PM
3

Any man in a marriage needs to honestly consider that he may go through a divorce. Since the female and the State hold all the cards (usually), he needs to learn how to play defensively. Minimize assets, enjoy your life without over working, being fully involved in your kids life. Make sure you/wife are as close to 50/50 contribution, wealth, time as possible. No SAHM!!!
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 04:39 PM
1

Unless, you walk away with cash and prizes.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 04:26 PM
1

You working massive amount of overtime is hurting you!!! You cant build a nest egg until the divorce is finalized!!! All your doing is giving her lawyer extra income to demand from you. Unless you get her debt put solely as her responsibility to pay, you are stuck with it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 11:51 AM
3

Very bitter truth that is sickning and hard to learn because it goes against a mans nature. Only way to win is not to play. Dont kill yourself building wealth and assets that are so easily taken away.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/25 01:19 PM
9

No court can take what you don't provide. You fear financial ruin? Then stop being the lifestyle wallet she does'nt deserve. Lower your cost of living, sell assets, work less, more me time. In CA, you can just let the high cost of everything do the dirty work for you.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 09:33 PM
1

Learn to be a Stoic, emotionless, in-control, drama free. Start the grieving process of the failed marriage now, see a therapist if you need help. Consult several lawyers, who are successful for their clients. See where you stand in asset division. Plan an exit strategy, and the next phase of your life. Prepare financially, have documents for all your accounts. If its a marital asset, stop putting money there. Sell, it if you can. Pay debts down if possible. You will be financially cut in half, …
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/25 10:09 PM
1

Talk to an attorney, as to your specific situation. They will tell you whats fair, without you being taking advantage of.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 12:51 AM
9

If you dont want marriage/kids, isnt that the correct answer. You obviously thought this through enough to have a strong stance on it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 12:24 AM
1

Next time, treat yourself to a full breakfast at a local restaurant. Learn to think about rewarding yourself and avoiding her childish resentful behavior. She created drama and you fell for it! Be a king.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 12:54 PM
1

Credit card companies will gladly up credit limits as long as a payment is being made....which is bad. The key is: she needs to miss the minimum payments so the credit card companies stop loaning her money. If she is addicted to spending and getting new cards, eventually, her missed payments will catch up to her as far as spending. Anyone getting a divorce knows the first question a lawyer will ask is, Income, Assets/debts, Custody (if applicable). If you know a divorce filing is coming, you are…
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 03:18 PM
3

I get 2 paychecks a month. 1 goes joint to pay household expenses, the other goes to my own account. My wife gets her own little check each month. I make sure all the bills are paid through the joint account for accountability purposes. Knowing I will be surely charged with financial abuse in the divorce, I make sure when I add money later in the month to the joint account, its electronically transfered to show that I am not hiding money and there's a record. My wife has run up significant credi…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/25 08:03 PM
7

Your kid is what matters, and you being there is where you need to hold your head up high. Yeah, she's resentful, but let her go, win custody, and be your kids everything.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 01:42 AM
1

I am actually with her philosophy in this. My wife filed, and accordingly, who was going to argue spending marital funds on essential items to furnish my new place. I used marital funds (namely my funds) to buy furniture, dry goods, small kitchen appliances etc. Knowing I was going to be paying CS and alimony. The kicker, the furniture I put in my garage and dry goods in my closet. Since my income was going to be heavily burdened by the divorce, I figured it was a good use of pre CS/alimony mari…
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 06:47 PM
8

Why hire a lawyer to advise you and then ignore the commonsense advice they tell you? If you still have sympathy, empathy, compassion or what have you towards her, put off the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 04:16 PM
1

Cant answer your question because you left the most important: income? Income is the main thing, how do you/her stack up income wise.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 07:12 PM
5

Women almost always collude with somebody else. They thrive on social ties and drama, It usually isnt until much later that you find out how deep and lengthy the plot extends around you. Man's best defense is to have a stoic mindset, reset, rebalance, move on.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/25 01:26 PM
1

What bills is your ex in the red with? Your still married, so unless these bills predate the marriage, you'll be stuck with them. Your ex is 1) trying to get you 100% on the hook for your kids medical expensives going forward. 2) Blocking you from parental involvement in a key area in a custody award. 3) She is going after a greater amount of child support by gathering evidence to prove she's more involved in the kids daily needs than you. Dont fall for it!
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 01:40 PM
6

She is telling you and you need to listen!!! She quit the marriage. Get yourself into therapy and talk to lawyers. She is giving you an opportunity to prepare, please take advantage of it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/25 12:43 AM
3

If a lawyer(s) offers a free consultation, its a place to start.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/25 07:23 PM
10

Exactly this, my wife went back home for Christmas, met up with her divorcee BFF, and came back ready to file. Went to see a lawyer, but could pay the retainer.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 03:46 PM
15

You dropped the bomb with no follow up: How do men prepare for divorce before the case is filed?
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/25 03:31 PM
2

Get the best lawyer who takes time to listen and be your advocate. Learn what divorce means for you. Secure enough money for a retainer. If no one has filed yet, now is the time to make any last minute adjustments to your lower expenses and cost of living.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 04:40 PM
2

You can find a place to go as part of your exit strategy. Broke, in debt, no kids is the position to leave this marriage behind. If you dont call it quits now, your next post on this board will be who she is having an affair with.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 03:23 PM
1

If you read carefully the first line.....it says, "consult with a divorce attorney" A consult is not a case necessarily. Sorry I didnt include drama, if thats what your looking for.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 03:04 PM
1

Your lawyer should be guiding you through this? Didnt he/she explain the legal processes?
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 02:01 AM
3

Game on, Lawyer up, know your rights, and counterfile. Primary caregiver, go for 100% child custody. Let her continue working 80 hour weeks (of course, she'll burn herself out) and lose her family. Its all about your kids, file for financial support.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 01:56 AM
2

Get all of your financials and assets accounted for, hopefully with documentation. Consult an attorney about your rights and where you stand. Do not do anything before you have compentant representation. If spousal support is obtainable, file for it. Find the money for a retainer whereever you can get it. Do not give up your rights, move out etc.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 01:48 AM
2

Absolutely, the get married, have some kids, SHM because childcare is so expensive.....this scenario destroys more men financially over and over again.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/25 12:32 AM
7

Get a lawyer!!!!! If you dont want to be a big loser and her a big winner, you need to get as close to 50/50 coequally as possible. Do not provide the support for her to live on her own, unless ordered by the court. If you make double what she does, you are already 75/25 for income. Get your own accounts, credit cards.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 02:06 PM
3

Not helpful, he perfectly knows what a POS she is.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 11:00 AM
1

----------> LAWYER <----------
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 03:21 PM
5

I gather you really have no assets other than the house and tons of debt. The debt will have to be paid out of what marital assets there are. So if this is correct, at least the amount of cash and prizes will be minimal, and the house would have to be sold for its equity.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 09:38 PM
5

Men are destroyed by their sacrificial desire to be a provider in modern marriage and divorce. My suggestion is to live your life to be the greatest dad you can be. Sacrifice for family time and involvement, not wealth. Watching all your long hours of work, success, and wealth being given to the SAHM is soul destroying! Feminism rules the courts and rewards the female. If you live and work with a defensive strategy not to reward her with cash and prizes, you will be a happier man.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/25 02:21 AM
2

If the inheritance is an IRA, you will have to draw a RMD, which will be counted as income. So there is that. If its a taxable account, do not comingle for any reason. Mine fooled me by saying, "what if you die, and my name isnt on it, I need access to it".
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/25 01:27 AM
4

No more, Mr Nice Guy
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/25 12:57 AM
1

💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 06:48 PM
9

-------->Talk to a lawyer <---------
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 05:37 PM
6

Set up your place before the divorce decree is signed, so marital funds are used to get your new stuff (assuming the ex wants the furniture to stay with the house).
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 01:16 AM
3

I hope when she told you she was filing, you started picking and retaining a lawyer‼️💯 But by the content of your post, I will assume not! Highly suggest you lawyer up, and they will handle everything for you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/25 12:50 AM
2

She is giving her mother thousands of $$$ to hide money (assets) in plain sight, which is an old divorce trick. Did you get a standard set of orders telling you/her not to get funny with spending? She is obviously dissipating marital assets.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/25 07:26 PM
2

LAWYER UP‼️. DO NoT SIGN ANYTHING ‼️ You get one chance not to f this up‼️ Your LAWYER can ask the court for her to pay your lawyer fees‼️
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 08:22 PM
1

You dont have a lawyer, but do have a favorable ruling, FOLLOW THE COURT ORDER ‼️. You will get hosed otherwise. Be Mr. Nice Guy at your own peril.‼️
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 02:10 PM
2

2nd Marriages end in divorce 60 to 70% of the time!! Do you really want to make the same mistake twice? You must hate your retirement plans if you do this. Your 10 years older than her, you want to chance a geriatric pregnancy? You want to go through menopause with her? You do know menopause is a big factor in grey divorces, right?
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 01:55 PM
12

Lawyer up and retainer paid, you dont want to be served papers and have no idea what to do next when the sucker punch to the belly hits you. TRUST ME Get rid of the time share pronto, Money no longer matters...Involvement with the kids does. Plan your divorce/exit strategy. Start pulling in people to support you. Be a man, she made a decision for you, dont emasculate yourself trying to reverse this.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/25 07:39 PM
1

Let your lawyer handle it. they're the expert you're paying for and are required to put your best intetests first💯
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/25 10:18 AM
1

Sole custody = child support to house the kids🤔
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 09:59 AM
-1

These marriage vow trolls are really infesting this sub lately....🤔
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 09:52 AM
2

You be soft Mr. Nice guy now, you'll regret💯 The smart play is not to go back to work at all and be the full time caregiver they need.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 03:08 PM
1

Vows don't mean 💩💩, trying to vitrue signal to OP when most women divorce for no good reason is disgusting. Take your BAD advice elsewhere.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 03:04 PM
5

She makes 6X more than you!!!!! And your the primary caregiver for the kids!!!! Your every divorce lawyers payday dream case!!! WTF !!! Get yourself together, see a therapist on her dime and take her to the cleaners with her own money for your attorney's fees.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 07:48 PM
2

Talk to a lawyer ASAP
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 07:30 PM
10

You can use this in your case as dissipation of marital assets, ie financial abuse. Try to get a receipt or at least a photo of the rolex warch.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/25 06:41 PM
4

The first rule of divorce for men is sacrifice and provision don't mean 💩 in family court. The court only looks at the economic factors and assets. The second rule is unpaid childcare and domestic work are considered comparable to paid employment for women who are SAHM. The fact you are still paying off debts is a good thing for you....because marital debt is both parties responsibility. Now, your wife is refusing to work, knowing she's the economically disadvantaged spouse in the marriage, know…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 02:43 PM
11

I think young men are wising up and letting women chase the top 5%, while keeping their wallet intact.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/25 03:39 PM
15

Your a lawyer and don't know what your future looks like......sounds fishy to me.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 06:00 PM
7

The problem over alimony/child support is always the false presumption that the marital standard of living has to be maintained. Which of course is completely flawed towards the breadwinner. Que: Red pill
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 04:25 PM
5

I learned the dynamic of chivalry and being self depreciating for a woman is a man's ticket to destruction. Putting a woman on a pedestal in a relationship is rife for disaster. The masculine self confident man is the winner in a feminist world.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/25 01:49 PM
1

Have you gotten bonuses during the marriage? If you did, did you spend it or save the money. Reasonableness is according to the marital lifestyle! If, during the marriage, you used your bonus money for a weekend getaway for the both of you, then that should be permissible because it was part of your marriage lifestyle. Another example: Does your car need a new set of tires? Then it is Reasonable to spend $1200 on a new set of tires.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 04:47 PM
1

Most divorce filings will include an order on what marital funds can or can't be used for while the case works its way to finality. Never hide money, if discovered, that is a big negative for you. With that said, $2000 spent within the scope of what is reasonable within the order, is permissible. Such as lawyers fees, credit card balances, car loans, marital standard of living.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 03:55 PM
1

Smart, very smart
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 03:52 PM
7

Whatever you do, DO NOT COMMINGLE YOUR INHERITANCE!!!!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 09:29 PM
2

Same with Tricare, not entitled to it for life if the marriage and career is under 20 years. Your lawyer should be an expert on military divorces.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/25 02:30 PM
1

She is only entitled to 50% of your pension for the years you were both married and active duty.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/24 02:05 PM
2

Collect all the pertinent financial data and assets and talk to a divorce lawyer about outcomes of a divorce. Be stoic, logical, and make a decision, obviously your throwing money away will counseling.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 05:00 PM
1

🙄
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 04:50 PM
4

She has 3 school aged kids, you should have called it off right there. Kids always take preference over you.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 02:42 PM
4

Go see a family lawyer's and pick one. Pull money from anywhere you can and set aside in your own account for a retainer. Educate yourself thoroughly on divorce and what it means for you. Plan an exit strategy.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/24 07:50 PM
8

A non working wife or SAHM will destroy a man every time. These days, if the wife ever stops working, file for divorce. Marriage is a business transaction, and the one with the least gains the most.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 05:10 PM
6

You really screwed yourself and your retirement, if you get one now. Seperating from her while still working full time at age 66. Yikes!! I do hope you are extremely wealthy with 2 paid off houses, cars, and can live off half a pension or 401k. I suggest you move out of NY, if by some miracle, you can still retire.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/24 05:03 PM
1

Since your posting in this sub: You are fortunate she is working at all. Many men face divorce with a spouse not working and then get totally screwed! So at least you have that going for you. What you really need to consider are her spending habits. If she personally is the cause or potential cause to financial calmity and divorcing her will bring you peace... go see a lawyer and get the reality of your situation and options.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 06:31 PM
2

Check out Nomad Capitolist Youtube channel.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 02:30 AM
6

Unless you are deeply religious and hold marriage as a sacrement, it would be foolish to get married.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/24 09:54 AM
8

Get a lawyer and file for goodness sakes,
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 01:34 PM
2

How come the 25k for your son's college loans aren't paid off with the proceeds of the sale of the house? And for that matter, why are you responsible for his car lease if he is an adult? Have you and your lawyer considered a buyout in lieu of alimony. Still $36400 a year in alimony is less than 20% of your income. The Judge is giving her the first 50k of the sale of the house, so you can keep your 401k intact. The deal actually sounds very fair to me. There is no way she by herself, is going to…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 09:39 PM
11

Sounds like to me, you ought to be buying tickets to see your favorite team play and make a weekend out of it. Better yet, start enjoying your life without her around.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 08:43 PM
16

The day you get served divorce papers could be the worst day of your life. If your head is spinning now, it will be 10x worse on that day. Women, who by a large percentage file for divorce, prepare well in advance before they serve you. Your STBX just did you a favor by letting her intentions be known. Now, get set up for therapy to start working on getting to grip your relationship is ending. Go see a lawyer immediately to help calm you down and get the facts of what you will be going through. …
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 09:40 PM
10

My ex suckered me to putting her name on my inheritance (hundreds of thousands) just in case I died, it would make the process easier for her, she said. I didn't know she had already seen a lawyer who advised her of this deceitful tactic before filing. Never let a spouse touch your inheritance, brothers, they have no claim to it in family court.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 02:04 PM
1

I would need to know more specificly your financial picture, years married etc. Which is why you should consult a family attorney to understand more fully the possible results of divorcing your wife. But in general, if you stick it out for the sake of the kids, and you are the economic advantaged one, you will be the big loser, the longer the marriage continues. Worse case scenario, of course, being she is a SAHM with no income. Divorce proofing means limiting the financial reward women would ge…
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 03:01 PM
1

A marriage of convenience, in my opinion, is perfectly fine. However, I would certainly begin to divorce proof your current situation. First, emotionally take yourself completely out of the relationship and treat the marriage for what it is, a business transaction. Second, mitigate financial losses in a divorce with an austere lifestyle. Limit assets that will enrich her and enslave you financially. Men get crushed in divorce because they sacrificially provide for their wife and children. Get he…
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 01:20 PM
9

Brother, 1. DO NOT WORK LONG HOURS if you are planning to divorce her. You are producing extra income that will be used against you in a court of law. STOP paying her extravagant lifestyle, men pay their exes for it possibly for the rest of their lives. You are making two classic divorce mistakes before you even get started! If you are divorcing her, you need to readjust both of your lifestyles lower, especially if there is a huge income disparity. In divorce, you need to stop producing assets t…
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 01:04 PM
5

Traditional values are crushed in marriage/divorce. A womans opinion of a "real man" is just a manipulative way to shame or disrespect a man to control him. Monetary sacrifice or provision means nothing in a divorce setting, if children are involved, only time counts. The marriage needs to be 50/50 if you want 50/50 in the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 06:55 PM
1

I agree with the others, get a good, smart, experienced lawyer ASAP! The economic disadvantaged party (you) are the winners in a divorce, except those who simp and dont stick up for themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 01:58 PM
2

She is playing the same manipulation games on you like she did no doubt in your marriage. She is single now, leave her alone. Be a role model of true masculinity to your boys without being a simp to your ex.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 01:30 AM
2

Your the second guy on this sub today that just tells his wife your done without investigating and putting an actionable plan together for a divorce? Act out emotionally without realizing the scope of the divorce process! Seriously, you guys need to learn a thing or two about divorce from a woman's divorce playbook! Geez Louise!
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/24 08:43 PM
3

Nothing wrong with venting or giving a rant to online strangers....but it sounds like your making emotional decisions instead of level headed logical ones. I get being angry at her disrespect, but even so, get your head on straight a talk to a lawyer and get a rational and realistic picture of divorce. Plan for it, spontaneity is not a good thing in a divorce. Learn the grey rock method and learn stoicism.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/24 08:29 PM
5

I would still live a life prepped for divorce. Separate accounts, no home maintenance, stop funding retirement, lawyers retainer stashed away, exit strategy, mental health solidly around the failed marriage, stop being a nice guy (sucker), lowering your standard of living if your the primary breadwinner, and forging ahead with your own interests and hobbies.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 11:13 PM
1

We were visiting family at Christmas, I left early to return to work. She and her BFF schemed to file for divorce when she got back home. I came upon her divorce plans because she started using my credit card.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 11:02 PM
1

Our area has a Facebook meet up group, called Fun with friends which is basically for people looking for friends. Or find a group that enjoys the same activities you do. But know, women generally are the majority at stuff like this.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 12:48 PM
1

You need to find a child support and alimony calculator for your state. Base your housing and financial decisions herein by a multiple of two. Also, keep important documents and personal belongings away from the home. The best advice is to have a lawyer on retainer!!
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 11:20 AM
10

Having recently sold your home, get a low cost rental. Now is the time to lower your standard of living. The divorce game where men get crushed is all your hard work and sacrifice goes down the toliet. The days of sacrifice on your part need to end yesterday. Stop working overtime, but rather be with your kid as much as you can. Every school event, sports event, or doctors visit. Again, you will get crushed because she currently is a SAHM. You have 520k free and clear, I suggest you take some ti…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 09:18 PM
5

Try therapy for yourself, not marriage counseling. If you need someone to talk to, a therapist is way cheaper than a lawyer!
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 07:06 PM
1

I suggest you make a study of people who unalive themselves and the warning signs of it. You may even call a hotline and see what they say. Talk to a lawyer and see what they say. Also, go see a mental health counselor yourself and get as much information as you can. Men are more likely to unalive themselves over divorce than women are.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 06:55 PM
1

Do not consider marriage until you divorce proof it. If she wants to be a SAHM, don't marry her. She is probably hypergamous, which means she only finds you attractive if you are a provider. If you are the provider, you are setting yourself up for trouble in divorce. If she is a feminist, woke, left leaning, don't marry her. Know and recognize shit tests, women love to pull on men. If she shit tests you, don't marry her. Do not be a simp and rescue her or pay for everything.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/24 05:49 PM
3

Take a loan from your 401k and go see a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 01:58 PM
8

The day you get served could be the worst day of your life! You must be proactive! Having a lawyer with you will make that day so much easier. The woman who divorces you is not the woman you married.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/24 11:55 PM
8

'After a messy divorce", Bro, just stop right there. Love on your kids and give them everything of yourself. And lose the hoe.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 09:25 PM
1

This is it, your friend had a good marriage and was very fortunate. Some people do hit the lottery. Even as a married man, you would have to live under a rock not to have heard of men's divorce horror stories. What I didn't see in your post: is whether the widower is religious or not? If he is, this could be a strong influence on remarrying in his fifties, despite the potential downfall of his wealth and well being.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 01:18 AM
2

Men must understand female nature, women do not respect men "beneath them". On top of that, this cunt totally used her husband's masculine nature of provision and sacrifice to get her to the top and then destroyed him.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 02:08 PM
1

You need to educate yourself about divorce. You need to understand the repercussions of filing. You especially need to educate yourself about divorce with a special needs child.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/24 04:30 PM
2

Me personally, I retired early, and started enjoying the fruits of my labor. No use continuing to work to only pay her 50% more for my sacrifice. Instead of hating her, retire early and pursue your dreams, focus on yourself and enjoy yourself. Go see a shrink and therapist and get antidepressants to calm yourself down. Meanwhile, downsize your lifestyle as you would anyway in retirement. Respect yourself, and learn to let go of the rat race.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 10:19 PM
12

The brutal reality men need to realize is, their masculine nature's in today's feminist family court is totally used against them. Men's nature is to be a provider, this trait is abused tremendously by family court judges in setting unrealistic child support and alimony orders. Men's sacrificial qualities are also abused and ground into nothing. Working long hours for years to buy a home, pay a wife's schooling, an expensive car etc. Family Court don't have a damn where you end up. The first tim…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 09:52 PM
2

I actually sold the stocks knowing the capital gains would be due and paid before the final divorce decree, hence marital funds would be used to pay any capital gains taxes.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 09:25 PM
2

My wife using my credit card was actually the red flag that I caught that she was planning on filling for divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 09:22 PM
4

A divorce attorney my wife saw way before I even guessed she wanted to divorce me, told her to get me to co mingle my large inheritance with marital asset's. She convinced me that in the event of my death, having her name on the inheritance account would make things easier for her. When she filed, I found out the nefarious truth and lost hundreds of thousands of dollars.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 09:19 PM
2

Just buy the things you need now for a new place now, why wait until the divorce is finalized and assets split? It's perfectly reasonable knowing if she gets the marital home, you will likewise need a suitable environment for your children at your new place. Use your marital funds to your advantage to set up your new place.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 07:57 PM
14

Even better, if you even get an inkling of an unhappy spouse, start to play offense and defense immediately, separate bank account, pull in money for a lawyer's retainer, lower your standard of living, work less and stop sacrificing yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 07:47 PM
5

Protect your kids at all costs
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 07:25 PM
11

Because men routinely get royally shafted and their lives completely ruined. Family Courts are usually prejudiced against men and reward women as a victim.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 12:44 AM
7

Please go see a therapist and treatment for your depression. Also planning your exit strategy and preparing for the next chapter in your life should help with your OCD.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 03:23 PM
3

I don't understand what is stopping you going out and enjoying life in general. You didn't say she would stop you? If she wants to be a hermit, so be it, how is that stopping you from going out and enjoying yourself. Tell her you have one life to live and your going to do and take it from there.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 03:44 PM
2

Yep, mine was around her divorced bbf, and obviously influenced her to file.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 09:59 AM
2

If she said it, probably a 90% chance or better she means it. Get an attorney to represent you, it will make all the difference the day you get served. Find an alternative place to stay ASAP.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 12:05 PM
8

Verbal arguments are reactionary and feed on emotion. Your story is more about 25 years of disrespect, by a hateful woman who didn't give a damn about you. Although you may be a military man, but you didn't get and receive the dignity and respect due to a spouse in the marriage. The longer and harder you tried to please/appease her, the greater her resentment towards you. Getting angry and fighting never solved any of the underlying issues in your toxic marriage. If self reflection is what this …
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 09:59 PM
3

Do not, Do not get her pregnant, be careful of makeup sex‼️and if she gets pregnant, get a paternity test done.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 03:54 PM
2

Bro. Stop working those overtime hours, you will be severely punished in family court for that income. Take that money and put it aside for a lawyer!! Your sacrifice means nothing in a divorce proceeding. Minimize your lifestyle while your at it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 03:43 PM
15

For better or worse, for richer, or poorer, in sickness and health, til death do you part... Is a load of. 🐂💩
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 10:19 PM
3

I agree the 2019 change is another weapon by the government to fuck the primary alimony payer; men. But I guess your trying to say consider a lump sum payment in cash in lieu of a higher alimony payment settlement, because there's no longer any tax benefit in alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 01:56 PM
2

You are financially stuck, once papers are filed. Until then, you have leeway to try to get yourself in the best advantagous position regarding debts and assets. I HIGHLY recommend you pay off credit card debt ASAP, because if lawyers get involved, a credit card may need to be used as a retainer. I would also talk to a lawyer or two as well, to get familiar with them and the divorce process. If possible, delay filing until she has resumed her career. Along with all of that, begin austerity livin…
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 10:16 PM
2

Wow, so much to unwrap here. But I guess she'll be amicable until you don't offer her everything she wants. Why would you even consider for one moment giving a single mother with no job a $300k house with your name still on it? It also sounds like there is some credit card debt, along with your student loan debt. Why are you even investing in a 401k, right now? Is her credit rating better than yours? I would pay off the debt with marital funds ASAP.
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 09:12 PM
1

So having relations doesn't void the divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 01:00 PM
1

🤦 hopefully no men will take your foolish advice or forum.mensdivorce.com and be destroyed by her lawyer and a judge.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 09:57 PM
1

Why not retire early then and start living the dream before either of you files?
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 08:43 PM
2

Just wondering if you actually did this or if it just sounds good, because it looks and sounds abusive and her lawyer and judge would rip you a new one. I am not saying lowering your standard of living isn't a smart strategy, but cutting her off almost completely and treating her worse than a child methinks is not good advice.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 08:37 PM
2

Simple‼️the Disney Princess World of today... Lowlife Cinderella is deserving of her Prince Charming and it all comes by magic on her part, but Prince Charming has to work his way through the entire kingdom to find her.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 01:31 PM
5

Yes, absolutely 💯, mine stayed with a divorced friend, had an appointment with a divorce lawyer when she came home.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 01:24 PM
7

Alot of women change when they become mothers, and not in a good way. I think a lot of divorced men can pinpoint the beginnings of marriage difficulties with the birth of a child. I would be very hesitant to marry today, a woman whose career plans are SAHM or Tradwife. The economics of the home today don't really allow for it anyway. I also would screen out any woman who needs to be put on a pedestal or "won". If you have to win a woman's affections for her to marry you, you probably are already…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 01:15 PM
18

It fucks with a females mind when they no longer have control over you and you move on to someone better, prettier, younger etc; then them. Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 09:53 PM
8

Her words are"unhappily ever after". You are literally sacrificing yourself for nothing. She doesn't love you, she is just using you and the years rolling by are going to ensnare you further. Get a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 09:46 PM
0

Trying to "win her back" is a romantic movie plot, not a realistic expectation in life. It actually shows how weak a man is, akin to Will Smith slapping Chris Rock on stage. It is a form of white knighting that is disastrous for men. The best way to actually "win her back" is to replace her with someone prettier, younger, and more vivacious then she is.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 02:23 PM
3

In your situation, evidence is key‼️💯, also let maintenance on the house go. That's the advice I paid $500 to my lawyer for knowing I didn't have a snowballs chance in hell with my divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 03:27 PM
17

I bet 95% of information concerning divorce is written with women in mind.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 03:06 PM
–

She is no longer your concern, she's her lawyer's concern. She gave it all up when the relationship failed. Protect and respect yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 04:33 PM
7

Of course it's going to be one sided by the lawyer representing her, don't be so incredibly naive, gullible, and foolish. Go lawyer up‼️. Respect and protect yourself, and if you don't know how, get a therapist after you hire an experienced attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 04:28 PM
10

I am ecstatic to know that the truth and wisdom of the female nature has been learned here by OP. But more importantly, he sees it in action before it takes hold on his life‼️🙏👍💯
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 07:01 PM
1

Did you get a set of orders when served telling you how to handle finances during the divorce? It's worth it to talk to a lawyer and get some guidance how to proceed. It is not unreasonable to use marital funds to talk to a lawyer. Use a credit card as a last resort.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 02:29 AM
2

Does she have an attorney and she makes no money? If you have a 401k or retirement assets, I would borrow against it for an attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 01:32 AM
5

Money in divorce really becomes irrelevant, you need to talk to a lawyer and get a reality check of what your facing if you or her pulls the trigger. After your visit with a lawyer, go find an alimony calculator for your state, also a child support calculator if applicable. Next plan a budget deducting alimony and child support from what you make including rent/mortgage, utilities, food, transportation, insurance etc.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 08:25 PM
1

Divorce Truism: The more lopsided the earnings of one versus the other, the greater the financial burden of the "economical advantage one" to the other. Divorce Truism: The one who spends the most time with and caring for the kids gets primary custody, especially a SAHM. Divorce Truism: The one who works hard, sacrifices, and provides over spending time with children will pay a greater amount to the custodial parent and spend less time in the future with their children. Spend time with your kids…
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 03:51 PM
10

One of the bitter pills of society and family law. In a divorce, hard work and sacrifice, mean nothing, in fact, it is often used against you. Time with children, outside of work is more favorable then killing yourself to provide.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 04:29 PM
2

Work less hours or take time off, use said money as loss of wages..... especially if children are involved. Men usually get screwed in divorce court because they worked their asses off as providers and sacrificed for their families while mom gets all the glory for being home.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 12:06 PM
1

The King of Divorce (3x) is Phil Collins/Genesis in '80s pop. In the Air tonight Throwing it all away In too deep Against all odds Doesn't anybody stay together anymore
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 12:59 AM
3

MOD's here won't tolerate RP, just to let you know.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 04:08 PM
2

WTF
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 11:09 PM
1

See a doctor or Psychiatrist for help sleeping, an antidepressant may help as well.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 05:39 PM
9

She makes almost double what you do, therefore you by far, are the economically disadvantaged in this divorce. Why are you not going for full custody with child support, the house, and alimony. Do you not realize the advantageous position you are/should be in divorce proceedings? Why in the world would you make concessions with her for marital debt when she makes double your income? What are we missing here! She is pulling ploys like this because she is not in the driver's seat because she is ec…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 05:26 PM
8

Bro. She's checked out, she's decided the relationship is over. Stop asking her what's wrong or trying to appease her. No need to be Mr Nice Guy anymore, women don't respect you for it anyway. Prepare yourself mentally for a divorce, trust me at this point she already has, and may be well into the preparatory stages, waiting for things to fall into place with an exit strategy. Research and prepare for your own exit strategy.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 01:31 PM
6

Women in the long run don't respect men who don't achieve more than they do and this doesn't work in reverse. Human nature
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 01:28 PM
2

What you do has to be reasonable within the scope and lifestyle of the marriage. Say your a golfer, who always wanted to play Pebble Beach, it's arguable if the money spent is on a splurge. Maybe you love to camp and you and the wife talked about an RV to travel, it's arguable you bought an RV to travel. More importantly though is that you prepare yourself financially for a divorce with separate living expenses, Lawyers fees, and paying off debt set aside.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 02:41 PM
9

Probably wearing you down for concessions. Stay strong bro.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 02:54 PM
1

(Not a lawyer). As far as I understand, you are legally married and everything including debt is on the table. You should talk to an attorney and consider your options.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 07:43 PM
18

Sorry bro, and freeze or cancel that credit card.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 03:40 PM
2

Whatever the law in your state says about legal separation and financial responsibility will apply. Have you filed for legal separation in your state? Was a restraining order put in place by a court?
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 03:34 PM
4

This is a business transaction, let the lawyers hash it out. Know what your rights are, know what you want out of it, and have your lawyer negotiate the best fair deal (if men can get one) possible. If it's not worth it, don't fight over it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 03:24 PM
5

Evidence is your friend.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 04:06 PM
5

A certified financial divorce advisor may be an advisable next step to correctly value your business and assets and give guidance on a fair settlement. If your attorney is not a good negotiater and/or a bulldog, you may want to get a second opinion or new representation. You only get one shot at this!!
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 04:03 PM
13

She wants that alimony income projection while you are at peak earnings, chances are she has already spoken to a lawyer and run the numbers. Lawyer up quick! I would ask the lawyer about paying off your mortgage with the 401k, since your 60 and no withdrawal penalty.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 12:31 PM
1

The answers you seek boils down to how much you both contribute to the finances of the marriage. The economic advantaged one, i.e. the breadwinner continues to be the provider in divorce. So, if you earn 100% and she earns 0%, yes, your basically screwed and her lawyer will more than likely ask for you to pay her fees. Another fun fact is the harder and more sacrificial you work/ed to be a provider, the more you get to pay her in support. Also, if she is running up debt like credit cards, that a…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 01:18 AM
3

For me, I had an RV and a tow behind car to go wherever. Paid for before the divorce began. I do suggest pricing apartments and planning a budget including all household necessities. Not a lawyer, but I don't believe it is considered dissipation to prepurchase items you will need to set up a household like furniture. Until one of you is served papers, everything is free game within reason. Do things like car maintenance, pay down credit card (hopefully you won't put a retainer on a credit card, …
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 12:40 AM
5

Lawyer question
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 07:30 PM
2

Ask yourself, "what do I do if I come home one day, a suitcase on the stoop, and the locks are changed"?
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 07:17 PM
4

Domestic Violence Charge with a restraining order attached. Women are believed without requiring proof. Simple and easy way to get a man thrown out of his house and separated from his children. Spousal and Child Support probably automatic while a man has to prove his innocence.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 05:53 PM
13

If you are sensing the end is near: Be ready with a lawyer, getting served will shock you, it will mean everything to calmly say, "my lawyer is.... contact them with all correspondence". Have a thought through exit strategy, having a plan in place will relieve you of alot of stress. Time with children over time at work. If you are just a wallet, everyone will treat you as a wallet. Family Courts always consider the needs of children first. Be involved with everything that concerns your child, ke…
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 04:22 PM
2

Get rid of the couch and buy a bed, get a good night's sleep.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 11:42 PM
1

Hell yeah, during the marriage, it's all good or bad💸💸🔥👍😆
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 09:06 PM
16

Do not move out unless she pulls out the silver bullet. Consult attorney's that will fight for your child custody rights. Retain an attorney, you may want to file first as an advantage.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 06:12 PM
2

Talk to a lawyer and get the facts and figures of possible outcomes, speculation on your part at this point is just emotion.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 11:26 AM
2

Thank you for your service 🙏
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 01:41 AM
7

You did not say why you are 100% VA disabled, if any of it is for PTSD or mental health, but that probably does leave a venue to play dirty during a custody case if it applies. You must protect your kids at all costs!
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 10:24 PM
2

You would be in for max pain, bro. Start ratcheting your standard of living ASAP
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 04:38 PM
16

The woman you marry is not the woman you divorce. Grieve over it and trust in better days ahead. Won't be easy, but you can do it. Seek professional help if you can't break the cycle of the past.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 09:48 PM
9

Learn to accept the new reality, grieve over the break up, it will be hard, but the light is there.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 07:18 PM
2

Certified Divorce Financial Consultant if you think anything funny is going on.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 05:00 PM
3

Don't know about the UK, but I would say that family courts are particularly tilted towards women, SAHM's especially, and monetarily value domestic duties and parenting children over any man's career. No amount of sacrifice in working long hours, working nights, weekends or holidays, training, commuting, 2nd job, working when sick, skipped vacations, PTO, is rewarded other than to allow her to walk out with more cash and prizes. You were a wallet when you got married and that's all you will ever…
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 03:11 AM
3

The one you divorce is not the one you married.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 10:13 PM
11

Be ready for the silver bullet attack, protect yourself at all times. Be ready to record.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 10:03 PM
8

You have to come to an understanding of female nature, my friend. Women are not self sacrificing like you in a relationship. When women are bored and unhappy, unstimulated, they leave for the next thing. The woman divorcing you is not the same woman you married, you need to understand this! Grieve over the break up, and gear up for the fight. She is emotionally manipulative, do not allow her the headspace. Be logical and rational, and protect you and your daughter at all times.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 12:36 PM
5

Until you find the confidence of your convictions in this matter, or any matter, your anxiety will eat you alive. I suggest you review everything that brought you to where you are today, see the failures of reconciliation, see the impossibility of continuing this marriage in its current state, and the destruction of your well being. Use your masculine nature to think all this through logically, you must detach yourself emotionally, physically and mentally from her. Stand by your decision, break …
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 03:37 PM
13

Women lose respect for men they out earn, it's a part of their nature.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 09:49 PM
1

This is the way... don't treat one child better than another.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 01:49 AM
2

The needs of the children always come first in the divorce process..and the decision of the court will always reflect that. Therefore who keeps the house or doesn't keep the house is usually irrelevant. The house will go to the primary custodial parent of the children, which is usually the mother. So unless you are fighting to be the primary custodial parent, I advise you to forget about the house.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 01:39 AM
1

I sure hope she's not a SAHM. You need to protect yourself and to do so, you need evidence, like recording conversation. Do not, do not make any threats or anything that sounds like a threat. Do not touch her.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 06:55 PM
1

I am guessing you want the divorce and she doesn't? Because reasonably, she wouldn't want to have sex with you, let alone a third child, unless it was a child support baby. Have you talked to a lawyer to see what you getting into? Is she a SAHM?
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 06:51 PM
6

Now that she has filed, the court should have put in place an order on the restriction of abnormal or excessive use of funds. This is called dissipation. The court views this very negatively. If she is cleaning out her accounts and spending the money, you need to document this evidence immediately for your lawyer, and have her sanctioned by the court, if necessary. However, if she is legitimately using the money, like for lawyers fees there is not much you can do. (I am not a lawyer)
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 06:29 PM
3

A false DV claim, even in the heat of the moment is very telling. I wouldn't be surprised if she already has talked to a lawyer, because a lawyer will tell a woman how to divorce rape you and set herself up for the best outcome, at his and your expense.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 05:53 PM
4

That's a lawyer question for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 10:55 PM
5

The worst day of your life (the day she serves you) will go a lot better if you are lawyered up. That way, you can tell her lawyer or server where they can drop off the paperwork. Take the time and talk to several lawyers and get one who will fight for you and your rights as a man. You will need a retainer, so you will need to get your hands on a lot of cash. You also need to come up with an exit strategy, especially if you think things may not be amicable
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 02:33 PM
2

Is this your first true relationship? You seem like someone with low self esteem and some deep trauma you need to get to the bottom of.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 01:45 AM
8

You are suffering severe depression and need to see a psychiatrist and get something to help. Then maybe therapy may help from someone specializing in divorce issues.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 01:38 AM
8

Might sound corny, but the serenity prayer is really a good mindset. Change what you can, let go of what you can't. Learn to walk away, don't engage. Stoicism helps men counter women's emotion driven nature. Understand you are logical and she is emotional, do not react to her emotion charged attacks, maintain your masculine bearing and dignity. Value yourself and maintain your self respect, take her down off the pedestal, men often think terrible and abusive women still need to be on the pedesta…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 03:30 PM
12

Bro, she's checked out. She is setting up her alimony payments. I highly suggest you stop sacrificing yourself in this relationship, lower your standard of living, don't work overtime, and put several grand aside for a retainer. If you snoop on her phone, you just might find the truth, and see she is playing you for a schmuck. Now is the time to get your self respect and dignity in order, and stop being taken advantage of.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 10:19 PM
4

Empathy? Really, unhappy women (whom OP said she is) is a large portion of the 80% of women who file for divorce. You can fall for her emotional plight she finds herself in, but no, she will not get a sympathetic ear, here. Since this is a man's board, even what may seem like advice to a high earning woman is not applicable, because we know family courts treat men differently than they would treat a woman, even in a reversal of typical gender roles in a marriage. The advice men would give each o…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 11:54 PM
17

Go post over in a women's forum, you need not worry, you'll get plenty of" atta girl, "he's a loser", "your a strong, independent boss babe, don't need no man" feminist sisterhood support there.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 06:41 PM
2

Get the repairs done to the house before the divorce is finalized, so marital funds are spent before the division of assets. STBX of course wouldn't like it because she is moving out. It would also look better for you in the courts eyes to keep the children in the family home. The needs of the children is always the highest priority.
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/23 01:51 PM
3

Are you terminal? You want to get a divorce with cancer?
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 03:52 PM
3

If you are considering it, she is probably too! Especially if she mouths plans of an exit strategy. Go see an attorney and get the facts of your situation. Have all your finances, assets tallied. Do not waste the lawyer's time whining about your marriage, divorce is a business decision. Stop adding to assets you will eventually have to split, ie 401k. Pool money for a lawyer's retainer. If she stops working, the end is probably near, she is looking for alimony. Do not work overtime!!!! Lower you…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/23 03:35 PM
3

Do not get her pregnant echo
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 12:12 AM
13

There are a lot of bitter pills a man has to swallow in family court, but second to losing your kids, is losing everything you worked your ass off for. The facts are, the SAHM or mother's value is taken for granted by the court and the blood, sweat, and sacrifice of men is pissed all over by family court. I can't echo OP's sentiments enough. Men need to understand how family court adjudicate against breadwinning men treating them as second class citizens. Family men need to understand they need …
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 08:00 PM
2

She have a paralegal?
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 04:23 AM
3

I say this kindly and respectfully: Find a way to be mentally healthy, go to therapy if your insurance pays for it. Learn a coping mechanism, and have a safe place like a gym, church, take your kids to the park, whatever Keep your personal space at home as tiddy as you can. Take care of yourself and your children, parenting 50% of the time (keep track) You are under a ton of financial pressure, declare bankruptcy if need be. But do not forsake time with the kids to work overtime, that will kill …
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 09:28 PM
1

Wife working, kids # ages
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 08:58 PM
2

What kind of debt is the $100k
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 08:52 PM
5

If you are going through the divorce, the first set of orders or the petition usually says something to the effect about spending money and how it must be accounted for. Usually, you just have to be reasonable and not stupid. If you didn't do it during the marriage, don't start now. You can ask your lawyer's paralegal (don't talk to the lawyer about it, not worth your billable hours) about if your in the dark. Personally, I bought the things I needed to furnish a new apartment, plus the rent, de…
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 08:31 PM
3

I read your post, but wanted to understand why you don't go to the gym. I know it seems trivial, but probably is an indicator of something much worse about your marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 08:03 PM
1

You didn't say you did or maybe I missed it. Do you have a certified financial divorce advisor/analyst on your team? Sounds like a litigious and messy divorce with the businesses, you may want to at least speak to one and see if they could be of any help to you in your divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 07:57 PM
4

I hope you return to your first love and Christmas is a big blessing to your family.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 07:47 PM
3

The most troubling things I see sometimes are: Men who are cocky about divorce thinking their wife won't get them. Men who see the red flags in the relationship or even don't believe it when the wife says it. Men who are beta/simp to the core.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 07:39 PM
44

Another man just rode your willing wife, do you think you could hit that again? Have some self respect, ditch the bitch.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 09:50 PM
1

Actually if the ex is going nowhere in her life, it would feel really great revenge wise, but really stupid idea on OP's part. There...I said it😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 04:18 PM
1

In all seriousness, if you cannot figure out possible living arrangements, go purchase a minivan at least as a precaution before you file so you can sleep flat. Women love to change locks and if she nice, leave you a suitcase on the stoop.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 04:08 PM
3

🫢🤔🤐
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 03:56 PM
1

First things, you want the lawyer to do as little as possible, because they charge $$$. Do not, Do not use a lawyer as a therapist, lawyers and divorces are strictly business deals. If you need to vent, do it here or with a therapist. I don't know how screwed you are.....but if that means your sleeping in your car....is it really better?
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 03:31 PM
1

Before you file, how much money have you set aside? Have you researched and found alternative living arrangements if you get a restraining order against you? Have you looked at a child support calculator to see what you may immediately have to pay, because temporary orders generally become permanent ? Do you have a detailed exit strategy? Do you have a mental health support system in place? Have you downsized your possessions and cut wasteful extras, are you ready for austerity living? And don't…
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 03:13 PM
3

You Sir, are a rare winner under those circumstances. Get it in writing as soon as you can, and hope she stays amicable through the process. Best of luck.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 02:59 PM
9

Here's a little tidbit for you....adding income around a divorce translates into more child support and/or alimony when they look at financials. Being economicly advantaged is a disadvantage. And if the STBX is a SAHM, be ready to really be taken to the cleaners.
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 01:44 PM
1

Is she a SAHM?
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/23 12:57 PM
0

Men's community, men who appreciate the positive aspects of Stoicism.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 04:39 PM
-1

I hope you have sympathetic friends, relatives. If not, a therapist, divorce coach, divorce group at a church, at least someone. If none of these things work, continue to post here, you at least will find help in cyberspace. Work on yourself to be a better you and engage in things you enjoy. Find the red pill community if you haven't already.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 04:35 PM
12

Yes, see a lawyer, plan an exit strategy, put important documents in a safe place, change passwords, quit working overtime, quit contributing to 401k, IRA. Spend as much time with your kids as possible, including doctors appointments. Keep your mouth shut, don't argue, walk away. Find money for a retainer, create a dream memory with the kids. Continue therapy by yourself for mental health reasons, get a gym membership if you don't have one and use it as a safe space. Get a separate bank account.…
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 02:44 PM
1

Hopefully your response is: My lawyer is....send everything there!
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 03:28 PM
1

If you are a wealthy individual, might be prudent to seek the advice of a certified financial divorce analyst and run your assets past them. Or have them as part of your team.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 03:15 PM
1

Liquidate your 401k to hire a lawyer. Why give her half. Fight to protect yourself and your child. If your not on the mortgage, tell her you can't afford the house, because in reality you can't. Start turning everything into cash, bank accounts, investments produce money trails. You need to lower your standard of living immediately, she will use your standard of living against you for alimony/child support.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/21 02:50 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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