PatStedman Archive

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Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	I'm about to go on my first 'first date' in 14 years. Good luck! Let us know how it went. Here's a guide if you need some help reading the signs: http://patstedman.com/2016/08/04/good-date-4-clues/	/r/seduction	29/09/16 05:10 PM
3	Don't laugh... but I need help getting over my fear of women. Changing your mindset towards women will take time, but it's very doable. The only thing you need to come to terms with is that it WILL be scary and it WILL cause you anxiety. The key is not to freak out that you're having those feelings, but to just roll with them. Accept them as part of the process. I still get nervous when I have to talk to people I'm not close (or strangers) but I have retrained my brain to think of that nervousness as a good thing. If I feel nervous or scared, that means it…	/r/seduction	29/09/16 05:08 PM
1	Casual conversations: I can strike up conversation no problem, but I'm like a deer in the headlights when the woman actually talks back The issue is simple. 1) You're in your head, not in the moment. Overthinking is stopping you from being present in the conversation. But 2) You're not actually interested in her WHY. Why did that barista get the tattoo? Why does she like tattoos in general? What about her in general? What is her "why" in life? You're thinking about conversations like they're fact-finding missions, or that you have to always point out interesting things. But while interesting comments like what you've made are go…	/r/seduction	28/07/16 03:53 PM
18	I'm an nerdy high schooler with bad social skills. Tips? The biggest thing is to NOT frame it as you just did. "I'm generally pretty awkward"... "I'm a nerdy high schooler with bad social skills." I get you're being real here, but I want to point this out because this is a sign of a Frame that is already convinced you are low social status. That's a big problem cause if that's what you think, that's what you'll get. I'll return to this in a minute. High school places high-priority on the evolutionary triggers for attraction. In other words: Strength /…	/r/seduction	26/07/16 11:47 PM
10	Conversations not going anywhere Two things: A good conversation is determined by things operating on three levels: The Content The Style The Frame Most people (and it sounds like you too) are focusing too much on the first one... when in reality it's the other two (especially Frame) that matter the most. Reality Check: Unless you've been living under a rock you've got the content - or at least you've got enough content to work with in the beginning. This doesn't mean you don't put yourself out there to do cool, interesting thi…	/r/seduction	25/07/16 10:39 PM
4	I just can't do it. My brain just won't let me. Practice giving girls eye contact and smiling at them as you walk down the street. Then once you're comfortable with that, wave at girls as you pass by and say hello to them. Do not necessarily intend to pursue anything else besides that. You will see some positive reactions and you'll begin to feel more comfortable with the idea of making the next step (actually starting a conversation). Progress is all about chunking. You may need to chunk down smaller than cold-approaching a girl to get used …	/r/seduction	12/07/16 08:03 PM
1	What are some interesting stories one could tell that subtlely escalate? Yeah, unless you are highly pre-selected in the environment this will not work. She will not follow you anywhere you go unless she is invested. Also, it's not really subtle. It's pretty clear you're trying to get her alone within a minute of meeting her, and will probably creep her out. After she's interested in you though something like this will work... it's just not something you should make as a first move.	/r/seduction	12/07/16 07:21 PM

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